A Woman's Guide To Finding Self-Esteem

LOW SELF ESTEEM AN EPIDEMIC

The day that you can look in the mirror and be happy with what you see, is the day that will set you free . Let's face it too often we are our own worse enemies, zoning in on our flaws, comparing ourselves to others, imagining how much better we will feel if we can only change a certain part of our bodies to what we envision is the ideal image. Often we are our worst critics, as we tend to see ourselves in a exaggerated sense opposed to how the rest of the world actually sees us. Fussing over our thighs, the size of our breasts, the not so tight skin of our abs, the shape of our nose, is a common trait in a majority of women, ranging from mild obsessions to much more serious obsessions such as major eating disorders. Poor self-esteem is a poor foundation to build the framework of our lives upon. Until we can feel happy and content with how we see ourselves, we will never reach that place where we deserve to be.

  • Here are some simple truths to wake us up to the illusions that we have carried for so long;


Stars with no make-up

Angelina Jolie
Angelina Jolie
Brittney Spears
Brittney Spears

1. THE REALITY THAT STARS ARE NOT PERFECT


"The Death of Advertising? I think that's in the book of Revelation. It's the day when people everywhere become satisfied with their weight, their hair, their skin, their wardrobe, and their aroma"....Jeff. I. Richards

Women constantly look towards the media, and often use the beauty of celebrities, to form an image inside their heads as to how the perfect woman should appear to look. Gazing at beautiful women inside the covers of women's magazines, watching gorgeous actresses grace the silver screen, can seem quite daunting at times to the average woman of the world. "If only I looked like that." The media purposely uses this world of 'so-called' perfection, to its full advantage knowing too well the effect these images have upon the public eye.

However even 'magic can be an illusion' and we need to remember that. Stars are polished, powdered, shined, buffed all to create the perfect illusion to sell movies, cars, clothes, diamonds, everything from A to Z in the modern world. Without makeup a lot of stars are ordinary looking women, many with less than perfect complexions, less than perfect bodies than what is portrayed in the world of the competitive media. Every picture that appears in glossy magazines must be edited, smoothed, to hide the wrinkles, acne, varicose veins, yellowing teeth that they don't desire us to see. With surplus money to throw away, they are nipped,cut, surgically enhanced by the finest surgeons in the world at their feet. 'What you see is so often far from what is real'.

Anna Kournikova
Anna Kournikova
Katie Holmes
Katie Holmes
Concentrate on changing what is inside before the outside
Concentrate on changing what is inside before the outside

2. THE REALITY THAT TRUE BEAUTY DOES NOT EXIST IN LOOKS ALONE


"People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves"....Salma Halek

Beauty on the surface fades away with the hands of time where-as true beauty deep inside, remains for all eternity . Have you not heard the expression that even if a woman is truly beautiful on the outside, but her spirit is ugly, she therefore becomes ugly even on the outside?. We have to realise that if anything must be changed, it must first come from within. The way we see ourselves rests heavily upon a positive mind, which is the strongest asset we possess, to perceive the unique special person we really are. Men are attracted to strong confident women, it is a well known fact. Beauty alone can rarely hold someone's attention for long periods of time  nor can it compensate for weak attributes that exist inside. Forget about changing what you see on the outside, until you change what is on the inside, or the outer will never be enough to satisty you.

The most liberating thing about beauty is realising you are the beholder
The most liberating thing about beauty is realising you are the beholder
Embrace your self worth
Embrace your self worth

3. THE REALITY YOU CAN EITHER BE A POOR VERSION OF SOME-ONE ELSE OR A RICH VERSION OF YOURSELF


"Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have"......

Let's face it you can never be some-one else, nor would you really want to be, as then you are robbing yourself of who you were born to be . It is so true that it is impossible to fully love some-one else until you love yourself for who you are. When you feel good about yourself, and embrace your self worth, it is so much harder for others to knock you down, push you around, hurt you with their words, as you are able to stand up for yourself, shrug off the criticisms, walk away from some-thing that is hurting you, simply by believing in yourself. Look at yourself as often as you can in front of a mirror, not at your body, but directly into your eyes,and tell yourself that you are worthy, beautiful, deserving, exactly as you are. Start to feel it, think it and believe it. Realise that in this world there is no-one exactly the same as you, appreciate the fact that you are unique upon this Earth. No-one can change the way you see yourself but you. When you have high self esteem, a positive mind, your life changes for the better drastically. Remember there is always some-one to love you for who you are, you don't have to mould yourself to some-one's ideal. If you believe in yourself then those around you will believe in you too.

Set yourself reasonable goals
Set yourself reasonable goals

4. THE REALITY THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER A PRODUCT OF YOUR PAST


"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself"...Andy Warhol

You have to realise that you do have to live as a product of your past. A painful, difficult, hurtful past is a huge contributor for guilt, anger, lack of self-worth that we carry with us, as we grow into life. The people who can can cut us into pieces the most are often the people we love the most, and often bad relationships can be a major cause for the guilt, pain and low self esteem women carry to the next relationship and so forth. A confident, self- assured woman will not tolerate a man who drags her down while a woman with holds little worth of her value, will be more likely to remain in the relationship, opposed to being alone. There are no rewards for living in misery, but there are a multitude of treasures for woman who strive to move forward.

To begin this positive journey stop putting yourself down. Some women are not even aware they are doing it. Begin by making positive statements about yourself, kick aside the negative. Don't let the criticism or rejection by others towards you take you down a peg. This is something that happens to everyone, determine the difference between constructive criticism and negative, choose what to accept and what to reject. Set yourself reasonable goals and reward yourself as you achieve them, be proud of all you achieve, be all you can be. Life sometimes does not wait..

There was a time in my life I hated myself so badly, that I ended up on death's door with anorexia. Attempting suicide was a regular occurrence in those dark days. Those days are well and truly gone as I look in the mirror with pride these days and never look back. It took time and effort to arrive where I am but boy am I proud to be here.

Do you know that you are lovely? More lovely than you know
Do you know that you are lovely? More lovely than you know

WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP


Do you know that all your future

Is yours to hold and keep?

Do you know that you can surface

When the waters are too deep?


Do you know that you are lovely?

More lovely than you know,

Release your insecurities,

Allow confidence to grow.


Have you felt sometimes like giving up

When your world starts tumbling in?,

Do you know you have the courage

To stand up strong and win?.


Do you feel the bite of solitude

Do you cry those lonely tears?

Do you know you have the inner strength

To shine throughout your years?.


Do you know that in this world

There is no one quite like you?

You are more worthy than you will ever know,

You need to see it too.


So strive and reach, battle forward,

Lift up your heart with glee,

Shout unto the world today,

I am happy to be me


© Deb Murray 2009

You are more worthy than you will ever know, You need to see it too.
You are more worthy than you will ever know, You need to see it too.

A Quick Little Video I Just Made To Encourage You

Please Feel Free To Leave A Comment 88 comments

lxxy profile image

lxxy 7 years ago from Beneath, Between, Beyond

Thats right...

"The day that you can look in the mirror and be happy with what you see, is the day that will set you free."

I love that line, Blondie. =)

Stars aren't perfect, but their personalities make therm great on the stage--it's called photoshop and post-shoot editing. We're living in a dreamland of plastic expectations.

If I ever settle down with a woman, who will be a person first, it'll be because of her achievements and personality...not her looks. Those change, and are easily malleable.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Aww thanks Ixxy, yes that line just sprung from my mind, I used to have a terrible image when I was going through heaps. I have done a 360 c turn and gee it makes life incredible. Oh yes the stars, gawd you would not look twice at them in the street without all that gloss, they look so different, makes us women feel much better ROFL You are such a sweet guy you will make some woman swoon.


Candie V profile image

Candie V 7 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

Guilty as charged! Sigh. Great hub.. I'll probaby be back to read it again.. at least twice, tonight alone!


lxxy profile image

lxxy 7 years ago from Beneath, Between, Beyond

Candie---you rawk. =) Your smile is purdy and your personality is wondershozen.

blonde: thanks...*bows* I try my best. ;)


Pachuca213 7 years ago

What a nice hub Deb......I really liked it!!!


Tatjana-Mihaela profile image

Tatjana-Mihaela 7 years ago from Zadar, CROATIA

You are great, BP - this Hub is excellent and will be inspiration for many.

I love your poem....

And I love to be my own creation of myself...


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Lol Candie I know I know, don't worry I have been guilty of all the above, always believing I was not good enough,I know now I am, I havejump from one bad relationship to another,put up with too much, never again lool x0x0x

Good on you Izzy for praising Candie up, she deserves it, she is a beautiful woman, I am glad to have her as my friend x0x0x

Hi Pach geez I must catch up soon I have been all over the place will mail you tonight x0x

Thanks so much Tatjanna you sound like a woman who is happy with herself woo hooo x0x


Pachuca213 7 years ago

yes please email me...I want to talk to you too...


Triplet Mom profile image

Triplet Mom 7 years ago from West Coast

Absolutely wonderful and uplifting. This is really important and a great reminder to ourselves.


ameliehub profile image

ameliehub 7 years ago from UK

Very nice hub and very true too. I knoe many of us (women) will take inspiration from this hub of yours. Thanks for writing. I love the poem.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Yes Pach have done :)

Thankyou so much Triplet Mom the world looks so much brighter when our heads are held high to see it x0x0x

I really appreciate your comments AH I really really hope so :) Thankyou again


Elena. profile image

Elena. 7 years ago from Madrid

Great going with this one, blonde! I am very fond of the quote "Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have". Kudos to you!


Pachuca213 7 years ago

I have to agree with Elena on that...wonderful quote!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Oh thanks so much Elena isn't that quote the most beautiful thing out oh I fell in love with that :P

Yes Pach that makes us three it is such a true and wise expression love it :)


nazishnasim 7 years ago

BP Dear,

Knowing that it happened to you is proof that the little demons can effect even the best of us. They may just be lurking around the corner or already nibbling away your self-esteem and you wouldn't even know. Thankyou hun for such an inspirational hub! Love ya loads ...:D ... Muwahhhzzz.

P.S. that poem came straight from your heart, it was BEAUTIFUL!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Dear Nazi, yes it certainly did. In a space of a few years in my teens, everything fell down on me, did not cope well after I was assaulted, oh it was like I was another person, I look to the poetry I wrote then and just shake my head lol.

I am so glad I pushed through, as I think of all the things I would have missed. I guess that is partly why I am so over the top, ....my life is a celebration..., boy is it what......Love ya too little pumpkin, and thanks for the praise of my poem, oh yes it shot straight out from my little ticker, bold as brass on the outside I am, but soft as a sponge inside, have a great day Nazi I always love talking to u.(hugs)xoxo


Teresa McGurk profile image

Teresa McGurk 7 years ago from The Other Bangor

Great advice for women of any age. As for me -- I just want to be a little old lady who smiles. They know all the secrets!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Little ole lady indeed, you still look like a young trendsetter to me Teresa, love ya heaps x0x

Oh wow thankyou BC I sat up for six hours last night writing it, waiting for the right words to flow, you are the greatest x0x


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

Blondie. You have a pure heart ad that wil always set you apart. You are like the rubber man on a round base, no matter how hard you knock it , it will always come up. You have an irrepressible spirit coupled with that pure heart and a measure of serenity underneath all your manic activity and energy. LOL great hub.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Oh Sixty coming from you that means so much. Yes I agree with the manic activity, that describes me to a Tee, but yes, I am but a mushy mush inside, sometimes I am too soft, but I am still always learning, I still knocked many times but I am like one of those blow up punching bags I go to the ground but get back up, as I don't want to go down that road again.


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine

You are a great friend Blonde, and it comes through in your serious writings.  Now I think I need some cookies and cream ice cream


Jewels profile image

Jewels 7 years ago from Australia

You are on fire Deb. Beautiful hub. I'm going to read it again tomorrow because it is full of gems that I need to see. Hugs.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Aww thanks Cindy you are too although I am not always here I am in heart :) Damn that strategy I told you about did not work I just checked grrr xoxox


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Aww thanks Cindy you are too although I am not always here I am in heart :) Damn that strategy I told you about did not work I just checked grrr xoxox

Oh thanks so much Jewels I could not sleep last night so I sat here writing it for over 5 hours, waiting for the right words to come lol xox

Hey Cabin Girl this one is for you as I know you have been upset lately xox


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Loves ya too CB (hugs) x0x0


Raven King profile image

Raven King 7 years ago from Cabin Fever

Hi Blondepoet. Wow, this is a wonderful aspiring and empowing hub! The photos of the stars without makeup is a eye opening event. My favorite flower is the pink anthurum because it has it's tongue sticking out.

I like the line you can be a poor version of someone else or a rich version of yourself.

Thanks for this wonderful hub. Many Hugs! xoxoxo


Jodi Hoeksel profile image

Jodi Hoeksel 7 years ago

Well said and beautifully written, BP! : )


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Oh thankyou Raven, yes I think I invented that line at around 4.00am in the morning with a hot coffee and two black rings under my eyes. Ah I see you have a fetish for tongues haha I knew there was something admiss, hugs to you too dear Raven (hugs) xox

Thanks a million Jodi I thought I better write an endearing hub before I launch my next gut laughing bomb LMAO. (hugs) xox


Ivorwen profile image

Ivorwen 7 years ago from Hither and Yonder

I guess I was lucky to have a dad that would watch Sport's Illustrated's Swimsuit Edition and point out all the tricks the models used to make themselves look better. He always said that those girls weren't any prettier than his daughters. We didn't always believe him, because he was Dad, but it paid off in the end.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

It sounds like you had a great Dad Ivorwen, that's the thing parents can do so much into building self esteem in their kids, my parents did not do anything like that, it was quite a negative enviroment when my Mum was with my Dad no-one said much at all


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin

These are beautiful and I think that we all can use them. I know I can.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Thankyou so much RGraf, I agree with you 100%, we all need to hear how precious we are from time to time, we all need that boost, as it is so true about us as women and men. x0


lxxy profile image

lxxy 7 years ago from Beneath, Between, Beyond

If you ever feel like you're ugly...just look at your smile and eyes in the mirror and recite: I am beautiful, hear me roar. ;)


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Oh dear Ixxy you got it going on !!!! Could not have described it so perfectly...I hope you do this Ix as you have every reason to, you got it going on!!


trooper22 profile image

trooper22 7 years ago from Chicago

Well done BP, excellent hub!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Thanks a million Trooper it is always so nice to see you (hugs)


marcofratelli profile image

marcofratelli 7 years ago from Australia

THE REALITY YOU CAN EITHER BE A POOR VERSION OF SOME-ONE ELSE OR A RICH VERSION OF YOURSELF <-- true!

This is a really awesome hub Deb. It can apply to (some) men, except the parts about fussing over the size of our breasts... although if we have them as men we probably do... :)


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Aww thanks so much marco I really intended it for both sexes, as yes it applies to us all, I know men don't particularly fuss over their breasts but are known to fuss over other areas lol. Thanks again :)


S Lynn Mitchell profile image

S Lynn Mitchell 7 years ago from Las Vegas

This is such an amazing hub! You have hit every nail on the head. You have truly captured the definition of self-esteem and self-discovery. Awesome job!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Aww thanks so much I really appreciate you leaving such a terrific comment, and am wrapped that you enjoyed it. :)Everyone needs it lol...


cheaptrick profile image

cheaptrick 7 years ago from the bridge of sighs

hi BP,here's a cool true short story that illustrates what your saying(i think).fifty two years of marriage,my dad(72) eased up behind my mom(70)and said"lets fool around"(HOLY SHIT!).she said"i don't want sex anymore.why don't you find a pretty young prostitute?I'll even pay for it"(HOLY SHIT AGAIN!).here's the knock out punch BP ,he said"no, your my wife,your beautiful,and i want you".well, i left at that point cause the image of my elderly parents bumping there love toys kinda creep-ed me out...peace...


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Oh wow cheaptrick, oh that has to be the nicest story I have heard for a long time. Aww 72, bless your Dad's little cotton picking socks, that is such a beautiful story, and such a beautiful compliment to your Mom. If only all couples were like this, after even 5 - 10 years of marriage. Your parents sound like absolute gems. xox


Benjimester profile image

Benjimester 7 years ago from San Diego, California

I agree completely. Women are beautiful because of far more than their looks. I hate it when I see and kind, sweet girl looking down on herself because she doesn't think she's pretty enough. This is a great hub. And I like your poem a lot as well. You covered it all. Thanks!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Oh Benjimester I have always thought you are an exceptional male, you were the first fan I ever had. Gee if only more men had a heart like you. Thank you so much for coming by, I really appreciate your comments xox


anjalichugh profile image

anjalichugh 7 years ago from New York

'The worst phase of your life is.....when you don't understand yourself.' An amazing observation. So true. We always tend to see ourselves from the eyes of those around us which is so wrong. I'm so glad I stumbled on this hub. I would have missed a great deal otherwise. BTW I couldn't believe the picture of katie Holmes. Such a huge difference on and off screen. A brilliant hub. Thats all I can say.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Thankyou so much anjalichugh I am so happy you came by to read it, everyone needs to know that they are truly beautiful, and have so much to offer, lol, yes Katie, I know, I was actually amazed when I first saw that pic. Is it not amazing the art of makeup. xoxox


logic,commonsense 7 years ago

There is no illusion about the beauty you have inside you. To express what you have in this hub shows that even blonde's can be very deep and thoughtful, :)

All kidding aside, it is very refreshing to read such profundity. I guess I should not be suprised, given your proclivity for caring.

BTW, I am blonde as well. :)


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Really Logic, you are blonde? Where are you from? You really leave such gorgeous comments. I should have guessed it was coming from another blonde.....thanks Logic (hugs)


fierycj profile image

fierycj 7 years ago from The Fiery Heart of Africa

I know a lot of women who meet the criteria of superficial beauty and yet when it comes to intellect, drive and goals, they fall short woefully. They call it 'beauty without brains'. As for me, I like a woman with confidence. A woman who knows what she wants and how to get it. Good one, fieryblonde. *thumbs up*


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Yes Fiery I do too, what a waste of beauty I always say lol. I agree 100% woman need to know what they want and go for it. Too many women put themselves down or shrug off compliments, which is wrong, they need to embrace them. (hugs)


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 7 years ago from East Coast, United States

Blonde, or Deb, what a lovely, heart felt hub. I hope tons of people read this and take something from it - beautifully written, it's like a hug for all of us. Hugs to you, dear. Thanks for the encouragement.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Aww thank-you Dolores for such a beautiful comment, very much appreciated. Have a bonza day (hugs)


LittleLeopard profile image

LittleLeopard 7 years ago

I love this hub. How can it possibly not make anyone feel better about themselves and the world?

You write to break people of cynicism and apathy in their own lives. Absolutely wonderful. I will have to show this to some of my friends.

Thanks for sharing.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Aww thank-you so much LittleLepoard I am thrilled this made you feel good and so honoured that you are sharing it with your friends. May your beauty forever shine. (hugs)


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine

Blonde, you are da bomb!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

And Cindy you are de super bomb, truly. Love ya heaps buddy. xox


Raven King profile image

Raven King 7 years ago from Cabin Fever

Woohooo! Blondepoet you rock! Hope you get better real soon! If I'm shouting it's only because it's great to hear from you.

We miss Blondie! All hail Blondepoet!

The crowd cheers.

"Blondepoet!"

Roses flung high in the air oh the air never smelled so sweet.


viryabo profile image

viryabo 7 years ago

Blondepoet, this is a great hub. More women need to read this. When i was much younger i didnt feel too confident about myself, and the parents didnt help much. However, when i became a full grown adult, i decided to have much more confidence in myself. Began to diet, lost a lot of weight and had better skin. I started praising myself for any little achievement or accomplishment, and not wait for anyone to compliment me, or cheer me on.

Now that im much (much) older, i feel cool with myself, and never really give a toss as to what people feel, as long as my human relations is great and i dont step on toes.

Life is too short to waste it on low self esteem.

BTW you're kidding me! do those people in the photos look really like that without make-up? LOL


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Aww Raven you are the bees knees. I actually was diagnosed with swine flu, I feel much better but still a horrible lethargy I am fighting, to be able to do anything. Your words have lifted me higher than any mountain my dear friend. Love ya heaps. xoxox

Dear viryabo I cannot thank you enough again. You are the sweetest of the sweetest. I am much like you as a teenager I despised myself, and as I came into adulthood I finally stopped fighting and picking on things I felt I should have and never had. It wore me out to get to the place too, where I now realise my worth and if people dont like it, it is now fine by me. Im thrilled you are too. Doesn't it make life so much easier and happier? Lol yes they look like that, haha, isn't that so comforting to us mere civilians. xoxoxox


Lgali profile image

Lgali 7 years ago

very nice hub thanks


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia Author

Thankyou Lgali you rock!!!


BEAUTYBABE profile image

BEAUTYBABE 6 years ago from QUEENSLAND AUSTRALIA.

Hi there Bondepoet, You certainly have hit the nail on the head with this hub. So many people have the image in their heads from a very young age, that if they don't have a pretty or a beautiful face, then they are not beautiful people. That is the start to "low self esteem". If only more were educated at an early age that beauty is more than skin deep, they would have a better understanding of what is important with regard to self image our looks on the outside or what comes from within us.I must admit that I too, had low self esteem for quite some time because I thought that my school mates were prettier than I was. My best friends Helen and Lea, were always dressed better than I was, because their parents had more money than mine did. However, when I studied singing and was accepted into the Queensland Light Opera Company, it lifted my self esteem to the best place that I could have hoped for.As you can see from my profile and hubs, I have had bad health since a young age, which also made it tough in life for me, and I believe that without my singing, I doubt if I would have made it through this far. I have always believed as you said that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Beauty is more than just skin, it is what a person is inside themselves and not how they look on the outside, it is the person they have become that projects through them everytime they open their mouth to speak.What you have written in this hub would certainly help anyone out there who is struggling at the moment with their self image, which is something that many of us have a problem with at a very young age. If it is not dealt with soon it can be the biggest problem and very hard to get under control.I loved you quotations as well, they were just so beautiful, also the lovely pictures that accompanied them, also beautiful.I am happy to become a follow of yours and would like to invite you to visit me on my site also, love from Beautybabe. xx


BEAUTYBABE profile image

BEAUTYBABE 6 years ago from QUEENSLAND AUSTRALIA.

Hi there Bondepoet, You certainly have hit the nail on the head with this hub. So many people have the image in their heads from a very young age, that if they don't have a pretty or a beautiful face, then they are not beautiful people. That is the start to "low self esteem". If only more were educated at an early age that beauty is more than skin deep, they would have a better understanding of what is important with regard to self image our looks on the outside or what comes from within us.I must admit that I too, had low self esteem for quite some time because I thought that my school mates were prettier than I was. My best friends Helen and Lea, were always dressed better than I was, because their parents had more money than mine did. However, when I studied singing and was accepted into the Queensland Light Opera Company, it lifted my self esteem to the best place that I could have hoped for.As you can see from my profile and hubs, I have had bad health since a young age, which also made it tough in life for me, and I believe that without my singing, I doubt if I would have made it through this far. I have always believed as you said that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Beauty is more than just skin, it is what a person is inside themselves and not how they look on the outside, it is the person they have become that projects through them everytime they open their mouth to speak.What you have written in this hub would certainly help anyone out there who is struggling at the moment with their self image, which is something that many of us have a problem with at a very young age. If it is not dealt with soon it can be the biggest problem and very hard to get under control.I loved you quotations as well, they were just so beautiful, also the lovely pictures that accompanied them, also beautiful.I am happy to become a follow of yours and would like to invite you to visit me on my site also, love from Beautybabe. xx


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 6 years ago from australia Author

Hi there Beauty Babe wow I surely appreciate you taking the time to respond to this by writing such a lengthy passage. I agree with you totally, we should be spreading the message early in life, that the true value and beauty comes from within, everything centres itself so much on the outward in the media, no wonder there are so many screwed up people in the world, it is shameful.


RosWebbART profile image

RosWebbART 6 years ago from Ireland

great hub; I agree; beauty comes from within.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 6 years ago from australia Author

Hi ROsWebbart I 100% agree, what's inside carries on far beyond a lifetime. :)


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

I read this before but may not have left a comment. You know I am so shy. This is a beautiful hub about inward beauty and self appreciation as well as appreciating others. I just wish I could look in your mirror every day instead of mine. Pretty is as pretty does. Thanks


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 6 years ago from australia Author

Gee thanks for coming back Mickey to comment. Shy, lol, but lovely you are. You honestly would not want to see me as you are truly unique as you are. :)


hollywoodjames profile image

hollywoodjames 6 years ago from USA

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if the beholder doesn't see your beauty...tell them to kiss your ass.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 6 years ago from australia Author

Dang hollywoodjames I love your way of thinking. That is totally cool, I second that notion.


blake4d profile image

blake4d 6 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

Ahh yes once again I think I am reading some well equipped editorial from Vanity Fair or even Cosmo, but no I realize I am once again reading from the online artistry of the one and only blondepoet - and has she gone paparazzi on us now...? Where on earth were you able to collect those drastically different photo ops of each of those poor women.

My goodness poor britney looks like some fool kicked her to the curb after having his way with her all night.

And Anna Kournikova, my god it looks like someone whacked both her and Katie Holmes with a digeridoo...I smell foul play afoot here BP. Give up the ghost, what do you know about this?


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 6 years ago from australia Author

Oh Blake flattery will get you everywhere my friend as I keep saying lol. Oh believe those images are dead true. Make-up is amazing how it can change the way a woman looks. Mind you I have been told when I stagger out of bed in the morning that I look better than when I wear my greasepaint. Had to mention that LMAO, bird's nest and all.


David Harvey profile image

David Harvey 6 years ago from Sydney Australia

What a beautiful article about self-esteem... and so many illustrations. It must have taken you a whole lot of effort to craft it. You say men find confident women sexy, and it is true; but women find self-confident men very attractive as well. Few people love a wimp. lol.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 6 years ago from australia Author

Wow hi David. Can you believe it I once had a boyfriend named David Harvey. Thanks so much for your inspiring comment. I agree 100%. Us women certainly find a confident man incredibly sexy, I mean a whimp does not get a second look from me. :)


Tusitala Tom profile image

Tusitala Tom 6 years ago from Sydney, Australia

This is the most beautiful Hub it has been my priviledge to both read and view. Congratulations. I now realize just how good a Hub can be when it is placed by a truly gifted and loving person...Wonderful...

Co-incidence (Yes, I know there's no such thing) I'd just finished placing a couple of comments on David Harvey's Hubs when I notice he's also contacted you. Anyway, I'm now going to read a few more.

Once again...a sublime Hub.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 6 years ago from australia Author

Oh Tom you are such a gem. I truly appreciate the time you have taken to read so many of my hubs. You have succeeded in making me feel so good I really have to thank you. Have a fantastic day.


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

cheaptrick's story up there is awesome and reminds me of my marriage. Though we're not in our 60's or 70's, my hubby and I appreciate one another even when the other's self-esteem is waning.

I grew up with a pretty pitiful sense of self and never felt adequate. A pity. But as I age, my man reassures me at my weakest moments, as I do for him. I'm also far more comfortable with myself than ever-even without his 'strokes!' ;)

Lovely, lovely hub.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 6 years ago from australia Author

Oh wow Lorlie what a man you must have. Oh I am so glad as you deserve the best of the best.

I am so glad you are more comfortable with yourself these days, and so you rightfully should be so, you are a gem on this earth.


Carlon Michelle profile image

Carlon Michelle 5 years ago from USA

This article was very well done. Thank you for taking the time to share such positive encouragement. Smile!


innoialifa profile image

innoialifa 5 years ago from Ibadan

What a lovely hub, with a beautiful poem...


AyCassandra profile image

AyCassandra 5 years ago from Quad Cities

good article!nice pictures too!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 4 years ago from australia Author

You are most welcome Carlon that makes me feel really great :)

Aww thanks heaps innoialifa

Thanks a million AyCassandra


sunkentreasure profile image

sunkentreasure 4 years ago

ALWAYS HAVE A DREAM By BERNARD LEVINE

Follow your heart

to the path of greatness

that lies within you.

The secret of life

is to have something

to look forward to

everyday.

Find a dream that excites you

and make plans

of how you are going

to achieve it.

Feed your mind daily

with positive energy

and words of inspiration.

Take your life to a higher level.

Stay focused and go forward

with your eyes on the prize.

When you run towards your destination

with passion in your heart

you will see your dreams come true.

© Bernard Levine


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 4 years ago from australia Author

Oh Sunken treasure great words. Just beautiful blends in perfect with the beauty already here xx


johnwindbell profile image

johnwindbell 4 years ago from - the land of beards and buggies

Who needs a shrink when we have a hubster nurse like you. I've saved a bunch of bucks just reading your hub page. And, between you and I, you probably saved my life. I read this every day.


leigh anns page profile image

leigh anns page 4 years ago from New Jersey

What a great hub and beautiful poem at the end all with good impact. I am guilty of always judging myself and have had self esteem issues. This hub is very empowering and uplifting. Thank you much.


dixAccoxbog 3 years ago

My spouse and i helpful to receive on top of living but lately I've piled up any weight.


AnnaCia profile image

AnnaCia 3 years ago

Thank you, thank you, thank you…This is such a powerful hub. Things to be remembered and put into action. Everyday is my day, and I decide what I want to make out of it. Voted up.

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