A quiz to become MY man!

An interesting quiz that could lead to love!

Are you the one crazy brave man that was made for me?…. after intense research and careful study I've devised a clever quiz,.... could you be Mr. Right for me? Take the quiz and find out!

1) your idea of a great weekend;

which of thse answers do you think best describes a great weekend?

A) any farm/estate auction with a good lunch wagon

B) a concert of any kind cause live music is live music

C) a bike rally anywhere

D) staying home and killing a movie and steak on the grill

E) any/all of the above

2) do you have tattoos?

in this modern ink crazy age, its a valid question,.. choose which answer best describes your current body art situation.

A) yes but I was drunk so that doesn’t count

B) yes I’m a walking human road map of Detroit

C) no, tattoos are terrible and will doom you to hell

D) no, but I’ve always wanted a butterfly on my ass holding
a pot leaf

E) yea, but I can cover ‘em up for funerals and weddings.

3) do you have any piercings?

Its another of the body art crazes of our generation,.. Do you have any extra hardware?

A) yes, I lost track of how many, but I know I cant pass TSA
at the airport anymore without totally flipping out the
metal detectors.

B) does having ear lobes that hang lower than the Jacobs
ladder in my shorts freak you out?

C) I pierced my C*&K, and have barbells in my sack, you’ll
love it, its very stimulating.

D) No, absolutely not, mutilating the body is evil and will
condemn your soul to hell cause my grandma said so,
except for my moms ears and my sisters fake tits.

E) it was years ago, every one got their left ear pierced, and
yea I still got it,… deal with it, my grandma did.

4) do you have facial hair?

With “Duck dynasty” bringing the ZZ Top look back, its all the rage to sport the modern Big Foot look,…choose which answer best describes your current facial hair condition.

A) no, my mom says whiskers are for heathens and sinners

B) yes, a 70’s model porn star mustache that would make
Burt Reynolds jealous.

C) you bet! I have a beard so big and hairy that duck
dynasty asked me to come for a casting call, but I was too
busy rabbit hunting,… in my beard.

D) no, I cant grow facial hair very well, except in patches on
the sides and directly in the middle, but my grandma says
it will grow in if I slather goose grease on it every night.

E) yea, I keep a beard, until I shave it when it pisses me off,
then I grow it back,… because its hair, not a f**king
Religion.

5) do you like music?

A) only if its Christian and morally approved by my pastor, because any music not praising Jesus is a tool of the devil.

B) yes if its country, cause rock and roll is for punks, and
rap is for thugs, and hip hop is for punks trying to be
thugs.

C) only if its rock, and the harder the better, cause country
twang hillbilly shit sucks.

D) I really don’t care about music much, id rather play
video games.

E) you know how I said whiskers weren’t a freaking
religion?…. Music is, all of it.

6) do you have a job or income?

A) yes and I think I’ll make manager of the tasty freeze if I
work hard and stop eating the ice cream directly out of
the spigot.

B) no, my mom says she likes having me at home.

C) I’m currently an independent contractor soliciting
contributions and donations in an open air environment.

D) I’m between jobs and I’m not going to settle for anything
less than what my liberal arts degree should command.

E) yea,.. Its called being a grown up. am I doing the job of
my dreams?,.. No. but it finances my dreams.

7) do you have your own place/home/apartment?

A) I get to live in the basement because my dad doesn’t like to listen to my video
games all night, but its all mine, and you’ll like my cartoon sheets on my bunk
beds.

B) I’m sleeping on my brothers couch right now until my liberal arts degree
works out, or his wife throws my ass out.

C) does the YMCA count?

D) I share a 2 bedroom apartment with 3 of my college buddies, and this one
crazy chick that smokes a lot of weed, and a Great Dane that we’re not sure
who picked up one night,.. I blame the really chronic ass weed.

E) yes, I do. had to stay with my folks for a while when I lost my job once, and
moved in with my grandpa for a while when he had a stroke, but that’s family.

8) What do you watch on TV?

A) I love watching “big bang theory” because I learn new words that make me
feel smarter.

B) I love watching “that 70’s show” because it assures me that smoking really
chronic weed in my mom and dads basement is cool.

C) I watch TV Land because they show “Andy Griffith” and “Gun Smoke“,..
cause they haven’t made good TV since “All in the Family” and “MASH”

D) I only watch the 700 Club and the Hallmark network because my mom
grounded me from the remote when she caught me watching “Sons of
Anarchy”

E) I like TV, but there’s more to life than sitting your ass in front of the flat
screen shrine and eating junk food,… there are motor cycles,.. Real ones.

9) describe yourself physically

A) I’m thin, painfully thin,.. To the point of needing a stay in the ICU if I were to
get the shits.

B) my mom says I’m husky and that her cookies are good for me, cause they are
baked with love in a Christian kitchen.

C) I am RIPPED because I spend every waking free moment at the gym pumping
and posing in the mirror.

D) I haven’t tied my own shoes or seen my penis in 5 years.

E) I have muscles because I work for a living, I may have some extra pounds but
I bought and paid for them, and I can still chase the ripped little punk down
and steel his soy steroid milk shake from him,… but I’m not eating it.

almost done!

The only acceptable answers to this quiz are E,… in all cases,.. The answer is E

Lastly submit a 100 word summery of who you are and what you want out of life in the comments section.

Good luck,… pencils up,… go!

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1 comment

bethperry profile image

bethperry 2 years ago from Tennesee

Oh girl, this is so funny!! And YET I imagine it would screen out the losers much better than anything at e-Harmony.

Here's wishing many nibbles on the hook!

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