After 30 years, I found my long lost love.......

If you miss him, find him

 After going through one bad marriage and existing in another, I decided one night as my husband lay snoring on the couch to look up my first love of 30 years ago. I signed on to reunions.com and nervously typed in his name. It took me a while to click the enter button but I said to myself  "what is the worst that can happen? He can respond and want nothing to do with me or it can go the other way" so I did. I received so many hits to this unusal name but I did not respond to any of them. It just didn't feel right or honestly, I got nervous about it so I cancelled my subscription. About a week later, I received another hit with a picture. Remember, this was 30 years ago but somehow, I knew it was him. So I took the plunge and responded to him. I gave him alittle background of when we dated and loe and behold, he responded back and he remembered me. We started e-mailing each other everyday. He had a girlfriend and I had not yet filed for divorce. We started an online chat almost every night. Then one night he sent me his phone number and the very next day, we talked. It was as if I was a teenager again when I heard his voice. Then we talked every day still talking about our relationships. We live in different states so this wasn't going to be easy I thought to myself. I filed for divorce and three months later, I went to see him and spent a weekend with him. Our previous relationships disolved and things have been better than ever between the two of us. We are now talking about our lives together. I never gave up on him. So girls, if there is someone out there that you miss terribly, please, take the plunge and find him. The internet is a powerful tool and can create wonderful things. Life is too short to wonder.... what if? 

 

Comments 172 comments

Brandon E Newman profile image

Brandon E Newman 6 years ago from North Texas

I like your hubs. Make lots more!


mickthetech 6 years ago Author

I am new at this but I will. Thanks.


Denise 6 years ago

YES! You are so right. I too found my high school crush in 1968, we dated for a brief time in 1978 and after 32 years I am flying from Florida to see him in the country mountains for NY.


mickthetech 6 years ago

Well, I am happy to say Denise that we are about 4 weeks from spending the rest of our lives together. It does work. I love him, he loves me, happily ever after. At our ages, to find each other again is priceless.

Go for it. We only go around once in life. Good luck!!!!


Denise 6 years ago

Wonderful! Im so happy for you and thank you for your kind words. I leaving for NY in 11 days and cant wait to see him. It feels like Im 25 again.

Wishing you both all the happiness in the world!!


mickthetech 6 years ago

Denise,

All I can say is that when I knew I was minutes from seeing him afte all those years, I felt like a teenager. I hope it all goes just as well for you. Good luck!!!! Keep me posted


shortyrose 5 years ago

This is so true after 30 years I found my first love. He looked me up in the computer. I so glad he did. The only thing is he lives in Puerto Rico and I am in New Jersey.


mickthetech 5 years ago

Dear shortyrose.

We are now engaged to be married. I decided to leave my job and family to go to him. I'm glad I did. I never knew what I was missing in life until now.

It was a difficult decision but at the end of the day, I love being by my mans side and waking up to his smile every day.

After all, we are all we have in life and we need to do what is best for us.

Go for it girl. Go see him if you can. You will never know until you do and you may kick yourself if you don't.

Good luck. Keep me posted.


donna 5 years ago

So true when its real love anyting is possible going to virginia for the second time :)


KateWest profile image

KateWest 5 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

I tried. Only time will tell, right?


LindaA 5 years ago

THANK YOU for reminding me to take a chance! We're planning our 30 year reunion and, the boy I had a serious crush on in high school asked me out. We never dated; he walked me to class a couple of times and, stopped when his friends started teasing him. I was sure he liked me and, thought that ship had long sailed. We're both single and, sitting next to him, I still have the same butterflies that I did every time I saw him! We're going to get to know each other and, see where things go. After divorce and, 3 kids, could it be possible, he was the right one for me all along?


emily thomas 5 years ago

I have looked for this personon every site with no luck.

He is polish American that changed his name to Exner when he went in the Military. He was station in Ankara

Turkey in 1956-67.Would like to find him to say I am sorry.

Emily.thomas51@yahoo.com.


lost romeo 5 years ago

so i know i am the only guy so far to post but i have just found my highschool love even though we have only been apart for five years it seems an eternity i wrote a letter to her only time will tell though. thanks for the inspiration.


Kukush 4 years ago

I am glad that it is not only me in this world got same story. I found my love after 16 years. After such a long search he found me... on some occasion i was also searched him with no luck.

We are both married have 2kids each. I have a very bad marriage experience and have worked to make it right. However, the dream i have for marriage is not the same in reality...

Just 15 days ago, he called me and right the moment i heard his voice i was re in love, my heart pounds, was so shaky... same he does.

Currently, we both email, chat almost every day.2 times a week he calls me. As we are living very long distance we did not meet physically. I really don't know where this relationship takes us... but i am very happy talking to him. Have no words the love i have for him... speechless.. Wish me luck.!!!


mickthetech 4 years ago

I wish you lots of luck. I am now engaged for a year now. We are planning to have a quickie wedding in the very near future. It's amazing how things turn around and go full circle. The love I had for him then is still the same now.

Let me know how it goes.


Julie 4 years ago

man whos 16 years older than me im44 and hes 61 hes so boring he just irritate me ive just met up with with a guy from school ive had never had is emotion for anyone like this before help.


WearyHeart 4 years ago

I wish you all the best, but please go into these things with care. Remember that as much as you would like to think that you do, you really don't know your old flame anymore.

Like you, I reunited with a lost love after over 15 years apart. He said all the right things. After talking for 2 years (he lived out of state) we decided to move in together. I was sure it was true love.

Not long after that we had a child on the way. We had both decided that we were done having children before we got back together, but then we agreed that we wanted "our" child.

Four years later and he has effectively taken me for every dime I had.

He refused to look for work or do his share to help out around the house, preferring instead to live in my home rent-free doing nothing but laundry and watching tv.

Our child that was once so important to him he doesn't even try to contact, and was apparently only an anchor for him to keep the free ride going as long as he could.

I don't want to discourage anyone from following their heart, but these things DO happen and its not always to someone else. Please don't let your heart completely blind you like I did. Be careful when you decide to go out on a limb. Remember to always love yourself first.


mickthetech 4 years ago

I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. I am now married to this man and love him dearly. Is he perfect? No but before we got married, he told me everything about him good and bad and we did live together for almost 2 years before we got married. My ex took me for every dime I had but my now hubby wont let me spend my money for other than my bills. Everything else comes from his income and he loves me to death. Yes, you are right, sometimes it isn't what it seems and there were a few times we almost went out separate ways but we worked things out.


michmore 4 years ago

I just recently found my lost love of 11 years ago on Facebook - I have always searched for him for years but he's always been a private person so about a week ago I figured I'd search for him again after waking up from dreaming with him and there he was I couldn't believe it. I sent him a friend request and he accepted immediately which was even more of a surprise as it was almost 4 in the morning. We have only been emailing for now it's been a week of this. I'm not ready to speak to him I'm terrified because I'm married and trying to find a way out.

I made a mistake picking the wrong person (current husband) over him because of a grudge I had from our break up. He chased me after I was in my now current marriage for over a year. My pride wouldn't let me forgive him because in the relationship I was in it was what my family, and what I thought was going to be the correct choice.

We fell in love intensely it was either really good or really bad (jealousy) moved in together after only 6 months. It was one of the most intense relationships of my life. It only lasted another year until I left.

Everything I have been going through in my life he has as well but he never married. He moved to another city in order to get away and start a new life. He was completely shocked that I was contacting him. My stomach is always in knots and I know that my love for him had never died as well as his for me. I’m so afraid I just don’t know what to do.


mickthetech 4 years ago

Well, I was in your situation as you read in my hub and come from a very strict religious family. No one in my family wanted to accept my choice of leaving from being so unhappy to taking a leap of faith with my now husband. I am happy and have no regrets. My family finally accepted him. I can only say that life is too short and you have to live in the moment. I didn't want to live with what ifs. Yes, I was terrified to talk to him on the phone also as I was at the time still married but the first time I heard his voice, I was in heaven. He had a girlfriend at the time and we vowed never to lose each other again if only as friends. My advice to you is play it out one day at a time and see where it goes from there. Your heart will tell you what to do. Follow it. Good luck and keep me posted.


stubbernie 4 years ago

Two months ago I managed to get in touch with my first boyfriend from whom I was forced to breakup by my mother, thirty years ago.

We have been talking to each other every single day since then though we live in two different states. Though I am married, he is divorced and we are planning to meet in November. Its incredible to be in love at this age!

We are taking it one day at a time and we will know where we are heading when we meet. At the moment I feel like a teenager in love. Marvelous!


mickthetech 4 years ago

Wow, you have my story. And I am happily married now and in love as you say, at this age in life. Everything happens for a reason. Good luck.


backintime 4 years ago

I contacted by first love via Facebook by friending his wife. Turns out we've both harbored that love for each other for 28 years and have reconnected and seen each other. Both of us in bad marriages, both of us divorcing, and we are planning the rest of our lives together. I say go for it. I would have given anything for a chance with this man and I thank my lucky stars that I reached out one more time.


mickthetech 4 years ago

Happily ever after does sometimes come true. I am now married to this man almost one year and he just bought a house for us so I can be comfortable. I love and have always loved this man and I am glad you do too. Good luck and I'm glad you took that leap of faith like I did. Keep me posted.


rogen profile image

rogen 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

I've read all the comments here and I have had a similar experience.

20 years ago when I was an undergraduate at University I became friends with a charming girl. We were just friends, I will call her Mary, at the time I was seeing someone, she got pregnant and we married. We had 2 beautiful and I have had and continue to have a successful career. Our marriage ended, we grew apart from one another, we still remain close.

I at the time before my ex-wife had got pregnant and thought seriously about ending the relationship and trying to build something deeper with Mary.

Well she stopped talking to me at university, the pretext was a mutual friend at the time had a expressed a romantic interest in her and she was unable to to deal with the advance from him and hence distanced herself from us both. I often wonder if that was the real reason, though that is what she stated.

We reconnected once after we had both graduated, it was confused and messy, but we exchanged a kiss and held hands once. Nothing else happened and it ended. It was not right and I think we could see what was going to happen.

Fast forward to today, I'm single now, she is single and 2 weeks ago I reconnected with her and told her that I had never stopped thinking about her over the last 15 years and she was the one that got away.

She was shocked and as she stated flattered too. We met for a drink and discussed all this, I was open with her. I felt vulnerable, yet felt it was important to be honest and open with her.

Mary has gone overseas for work and as she said in an email wanted to "write me a decent email" I'm not sure if this means she views me as just a friend, is not ready for anything serious or just feels its best to leave the past as just that.

I loved her then, but never told her. Now I wonder what will happen, I have made no expectations of her and have told as much.

Any thoughts would be most appreciated.


mickthetech 4 years ago

Dear Rogan,

When I dated my now husband 30 some odd years ago the agreement was that it was just while he was in town and then he had to go with no strings attached. Before he left I swallowed my pride and told him I loved him and his response was " I knew this was going to happen" but you know what? I'm glad I told him because he never forgot and here we are. My suggestion is that you tell "Mary" exactly what you feel. What do you have to lose? You won't be any worse off and who knows, you may wind up much better off with the one that got away. I really wish you luck with this and I hope you keep me posted.


rogen profile image

rogen 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

Hi mickthetech,

Thank you so much for your post. When we met for a drink I was very open with Mary and I told her that I had fully intended to be with her some 20 years ago and that I had never stopped thinking about her.

Whilst much has happened the moment I say her I felt as if no time had transpired at all. I simply stated to her, Mary its been 15 years since I saw you, I have missed you so very much. I want to tell her that I never stopped loving her, but I would feel like a fool if I did. Though I guess you are right what is the worst that can really happened.


rogen profile image

rogen 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

Well I sent her an email and said I loved her so lets see what happens.


Mickthetech 4 years ago

Good for you. I hope it all works out for you. Please let me know.


Shannon 3 years ago

When I was in high school, my two older brothers were ridiculously protective. One guy stood out from all of the ones I crushed on and looking back on it as an adult I realize I was really IN love with him. I always wondered what could have been had my brothers not sheltered me. It probably would have been just a high school relationship and nothing else - but I never knew. Well fast forward over ten years later, I am married with a son (and stepdaughter) and I found him on classmates.com. HE started talking to me and it turns out he was very interested in me but - my brothers. The problem was he was in Afghanistan and I was married. He was a government contracted employee that repaired all of the vehicles our servicepeople used. He was there a long time. Last year he returned to the states from the mideast. He was in town for a few days and I never got to see him. Keep in mind now that I have now been separated for two years from my husband with no mutual hope or desire to be together again. Anyway, he lives in Alaska now (way to find the furthest state right?) but for New years eve he is coming back to visit his parents and a couple friends but he said his main concern is he wants to see me. I feel like I am 15-16 years old again. I am all butterflies, nerves and melting when he talks to me. He calls me once a day and texts me and talks about what we will do when we are together - of course there is a sexual spark, I can't deny that, but then he interjects info in the conversation about his life (work, his son, his divorce), and makes off hand comments that involve me waking up to him every morning. he has a great job where he is and the pay is amazing but he says he is getting conflicted because all the "people that mean something" are in NY (where I am and his hometown). I will see him on New years eve but I am working and my kids will be home so not much can happen but he wants to pick me up from work that day because he flies in three hours before I get out of work. He wants me to get some vacation time so we can go away for a couple days. I think that is a little much for my nerves at the moment considering we haven't seen each other in 16 years so I told him I prob won't get the vacation time anyway so I am not pushing that issue with work. If they accept my request - then yey. If not, oh well right lol. Anyways I am just so nervous and self conscious but part of me is AFRAID to see him. I don't want the fantasy and dream of him and how he made me feel be ruined by reality in case it sucks but what if it is amazing. I am so conflicted but I am also dying to see him and when we get off the phone and stop texting I immediately miss him. Ugh I hate feeling like this but I do feel like I am 16 again ...


Shannon 3 years ago

We have talked on the phone every day and texted every day but Friday I haven't talked to him on the phone and yesterday I haven't heard from him at all. NOw here I am feeling down about it like I was a kid again. I called once on Friday and once on Saturday and it rang and then went to voicemail. I don't know if he is blowing me off or is busy or just needs some space or whatever but it's actually bringing me down that he has that power to drawn me in still.


rogen profile image

rogen 3 years ago from Sydney, Australia

I hear what you mean.

I heard back from Mary, just checked in to see she'd made it back okay that was a last week and nothing...

:-(


Mickthetech 3 years ago

Shannon,

I know exactly how you feel. I would get so depressed when I didn't hear from my honey also.

Text him and tell him you are worried about him and would like to get a text just to let you know he is okay. Please let me know what happens and good luck.


Shannon 3 years ago

Hi. So sunday I had called again. At first I was thinking I was calling too much but he had been the one calling me all the time. So I had called him, it went to voicemail. Then right after I got a text from him that said he would call me tomorrow (monday). The text I got today (monday) was a Hello but I was at work and couldn't reply until three hours later. I said hi back then accidentally sent a message to HIM meant for a friend complaining that he wasn't replying!LMAO. I played it off that I was teasing him and ended it on a "jk ttyl" note. I got a text back saying "S***, I'm sorry I have been really busy, can i call you tomorrow" I told him he could have called me today also but i will talk to him tomorrow. I expect bad things because I am used to it. I feel blue :(


mickthetech 3 years ago

Shannon,

OOOOPS. LOL. You made a good save. Hey, at least he is texting you. I too always expected the worst but look where I am today. Married to a man that I love with all my heart for who he is not who he was and he loves me too. I hung in there no matter what and I think you should too girl. Keep positive. It sounds like he does want to keep your conversations going but a word to the wise, don't push him too much. Just nudge him a little bit. Can't wait to hear how this turns out for you and I am keeping my fingers crossed.


Shannon 3 years ago

Thanks for the encouragement. I like to hear the good stories and not the negativity of "he probably is too busy for you and blowing you off". He has called me five times today and have been texting like normal. I am now assuming that on the weekends hes not working I wont hear from him much. At least I know. lol


rogen profile image

rogen 3 years ago from Sydney, Australia

All,

I'd like to ask for some advice further to my earlier post about Mary. I've heard nothing from her, yet she has sent me a friend request on Facebook. I do wonder what the motive is here or perhaps I'm just over thinking all of this. Any thoughts or comments would be most welcomed.

Many thanks


mickthetech 3 years ago

DEFINITELY accept her request. She probably wants her family to see you. Have you sent her any pics of you yet? That might be another reason why she sent you the request.

My advice is to accept and see where it goes. Keep me posted and good luck. BTW, have I told you that I have family there near Sidney????


rogen profile image

rogen 3 years ago from Sydney, Australia

Smiles, thank you so much. I did respond. God I must confess I must visit that page several times a day. She just so beautiful.

I think I forgot to mention we did actually see one another, we met after work for a drink about a month ago. It went well I think she was still trying to process how I'd felt. I was very open with her and I sent her email to her expressing my love to her.

She expressed to me that she had come out of a difficult relationship about a year or so earlier.

I'm not expecting any grand gestures on her part but I figure if she wanted me out of her life she'd not have bothered to send me a request.

Also I made it clear that I was not looking for a friendship...

Whereabouts do you have family?


rogen profile image

rogen 3 years ago from Sydney, Australia

Pleased to report we chatted on facebook last night and she suggested we have a drink somewhere quiet.

We are meeting on Tuesday. Will keep you posted.


mickthetech. 3 years ago

Good deal. I'll keep my fingers crossed. Yes, please let me know how it goes. BTW, my family is in Cabramatta.


rogen profile image

rogen 3 years ago from Sydney, Australia

We met, for what ultimately turned out to be dinner. We cried we embraced and we said goodbye.

It was a sad moment.

I wrote her a letter and shared my final thoughts with her and included some music that has been important to me.

So its with sadness I said goodbye but you can't make something that isn't there I suppose.

:-(


mickthetech 3 years ago

Rogen,

There you are right. Some things are meant to be and some aren't and everything happens for a reason but you won't spend the rest of your life wondering what if. You never know what the future holds for you.


Shannon 3 years ago

FYI, his plans to see me Monday thru Saturday r now dead. He has to work and because he is a contract employee he has to give up his vacation because other employees have time scheduled. When he told me on the phone I blurted out "i should've known" but I had to explain its not him...just that I knew something would go wrong. I told him I'm not mad but really sad. He said he will call me tomorrow. I'm just really heartbroken. Seems like something keeps happening to keep us apart. I'm afraid the calls n texts will fizzle out now that we don't know when he is coming to see me. I'm so down right now.


Mickthetech 3 years ago

Shannon,

Don't lose heart and don't give up. I too had many set backs and felt the same emotions you did but I never gave up.


Shannon 3 years ago

So an update again -

The next day he got good news and was released for the week for his vacay. He caught his plane and arrived in my area Monday afternoon. He left the airport and immediately came right to me and picked me up from work yesterday. I think there was a spark. Definitely a sexual spark. I haven't kissed him yet though. But we talked until he dropped me off at my house around 4pm Monday. I sent him a casual message about an hour ago asking if he had fun with his high school buddies last night - haven't heard from him yet. It is about 3pm Tuesday. No nothing from him. Part of me says that he is probably busy but the majority of my mind and heart think that he should have texted back or called by now, considering how much we talked before and how he supposedly was excited to see me. When he dropped me off yesterday he asked if I was off work today and I told him yes and he said he would see me today. But I haven't heard anything. My heart hurts - again.


Mickthetech 3 years ago

Hi Shannon,

He flew out to see you. That is huge. When I was talking to my honey before we actually started living together there were times when I didn't hear from him for a couple of days and he told me that when he went out the night before it would take him a day to recoup. My suggestion to you is that when you do talk again, ask him to be completely straight forward with you and tell you how he feels. This way there is no guessing anymore. If he is truly interested, you will eventually relax when you don't hear from him for a day or so. I felt the same way and was so depressed when I didn't hear from him and even now that we are married, when he is on a job and I don't hear from him every day I worry so I asked him to at least text me so I know he is okay if he can't call.

How long will he be there? Let me know how it goes. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.


Shannon 3 years ago

Thanks for the positive words. I called him earlier and it went right to voicemail. I hope it is just the fact that he is in town after being away for so long and his high school best friends are in this town too (who he hung out with last night after he dropped me off). plus his mom and step dad live here. He told me where she lived in the signal there kinda sucks so I am hoping that is one of the issues too. I left a vm just saying casually that my kids weren't home but i never heard from him and that i was off tomorrow so i hope to talk to him then. He sent me a text shortly after asking how my day was. My day not so good but due to other stuff too. I told him my day was blah and asked him how his was. Haven't heard back since. I obviously over think things but I feel even weirder about asking his feelings. I felt like a stalker with my ex husband and I feel the same way with him so I dont want to come across as that to him. WHich is why I would feel weird asking him that.


Shannon 3 years ago

Oh and he leaves early Saturday morn


mickthetech 3 years ago

Ok I understand but you also do not want to keep wondering. Here is what I did when Tom and I started talking. I found the courage to tell him I didn't want to lose him again and his answer to me was "I don't want to lose you either." At least that gave me some sort of idea how he felt.


Shannon 3 years ago

So he came over today and was telling me about how he and his friends have been busy - I should have known lol. He seems to be the type that gets phone attention deficit when he is with others. He was doing the same thing when he is home. So I was feeling better. Things...happened lol. It was great and when he left he gave me a hug (a couple of them) and I could've stayed there forever. I don't really know what will happen from here but I gotta be honest no matter what happens now, I am glad I broke my 10 month sex drought with him haha! I kinda wish I still talked to people from high school just so I can kinda brag. He is still as cute as in hs. Anyway that is the update thus far.


mickthetech 3 years ago

Whooohooo. I'm glad you had that time with him. Hopefully it will be all uphill for you from here. Please keep me posted. I can't wait to hear what is in store for you.


Shannon 3 years ago

FYI I haven't heard from him since. He went back home yesterday and I never got a call, text or anything. I guess that's that. Ouch.


Realist 3 years ago

@Shannon,

I'm telling you the truth. If he really wanted to talk to you or be with you then he would move heaven and earth to do so. You mean NOTHING to him.

From a fellow guy


Shannon 3 years ago

Hi, fellow guy. I agree.

It has been three months since then. But I am good :)


Shana 3 years ago

I've been reading most of the post on here b/c I wanted to make sure I was alone in this (how can you love someone you haven't seen in over 20 years?)...In August of 2012 my mother called to tell me I had a letter at her house. I went to pick up my letter and immediately noticed the name on the front. I think my heart skipped a beat. The letter was from a guy I met when I was a junior in high school...we were only friends. He wanted to date me but I didn't want to date him (even though I "really" liked him) because he was my brother's friend. Time passed by, we lost touch with each other. When I was around 20 years old we find each other again. This time I decided, I'm grown, I don't care what my brother has to say. Fast-Forward, at the time I was in a relationship with my high school crush, I was young, so I kept letting my sons father come over. The guy and I eventually fell out. It broke my heart! Twenty years later and I receive a very long letter from him. I read that letter about five times. Nervous to respond back, I put the letter up and decided not to write him. For almost a year, I thought about that letter. I finally pulled it back out and wrote him. I waited and a week later, I received another letter (he's old school, even at 41...he doesn't really do emails and social networks like me)...His letter was so powerful, from how I broke his heart, to every time he passed my mom's house he wondered how I was doing. So far, it has been 3 months since we starting writing each other and the letters make me feel young again. He wants to see me...I'm a little nervous because I really did "love" him. I never told him that I loved him or how much I loved him. Since writing him I have learned, He never married, nor did I...we are both currently single. We live in two different cities...he said, "I'm his Soul-mate"...I'm afraid when I lay eye's on him, I won't...want to leave his sight. He was my first true love. I have missed him so much over the years and now God is giving us a second chance. My birthday is coming up, I was planning a trip but he wants me to come to him so I'm seriously thinking about it going. That would be the ultimate birthday gift, I just first need to suck up my nervousness.


mickthetech 3 years ago Author

Shana,

Sometimes we only get one second chance in life. I was nervous and everyone was against me seeing my love of 30 years ago but I knew that if I didn't go, I would always regret it. Was I nervous? Yes. Was I excited? Yes. I had to go to him also and now after moving away from my family and starting a new life I am so happy I took that leap of faith. We have been married for almost 2 years now and my family loves him. Don't live with "what if". Take the chance. Life is too short.


Kate 3 years ago

He found me after 35 years. He Is single,only married5 years. I have been married for 31 years. It only took a few weeks to declare how we have both felt all these years. Now I am overwhelmed with the hurt I have to inflict if I do what my heart says. I don't know what to do.


mickthetech 3 years ago Author

Hi Kate. I can't tell you what to do with your life. I can only tell you my experience. I too knew that if I didn't do what my heart was telling me to do I would live the rest of my life miserable and unhappy. I loved my husband of 23 years but I wasn't in love with him anymore. I was there to take care of him and that was it. I hurt my family and I hurt him although he got over it quick by getting married 3 months later. I took a leap of faith and moved in with my long lost love in another state. Needless to say it wasn't an easy transition. My family did not approve but I had to do this for myself. I finally realized I needed to do for me instead of doing for everyone else because in the end it was my life. Miserable or happy? These were my questions and I decided to be happy. I am not sorry for the risk I took. I am so happy now and my family has accepted my decision and love my husband and I was able to keep a friendship with my ex husband as we have a grown daughter and grandchildren. I did however ask for guidance from God many times.

It's up to you to decide what you see in your future.

Good luck in whatever you decide.


Katherine54 3 years ago

Wow....I could not have found this at a better time. After 30 years an old crush asked me to have lunch with him. He's married (no kids) - has been for the last 24 years. I asked him if he was still married. He said, "Yes, but I can have friends." Intuitively, I knew it was more than that as my crush on him all those years ago was so strong. A few years back, he sent word through a mutual friend that we should all get together. I never showed because I knew he was married and I didn't trust myself. I liked him too much.

Fast forward...yes, we had lunch which turned into four hours of just sitting and catching up. There were amazing sparks; we both felt it. There was nothing physical except our initial embrace after not having seen each other for 30 years. We completed each others sentences and felt as though we had never missed a day of being friends. He spoke of how he is miserable in his marriage and states he has been for a long time. I asked him why he stays. He responded by saying that he knew it would be hard for her, but he'd been considering it for a very long time - long before he and I reconnected.

Since then he texts me daily ... often long streams of texts ... he tells me I've made him feel alive and that I should trust him, that things will get better, that he wants to have lunch with me and talk, but that he would never compromise me and we should not take it to a physical level. Then we both start writing things - almost the exact same things as though we are reading each other's minds. This is so confusing, exciting, yet I feel somewhat guilty. It feels like emotional cheating. But he feels like the love I missed who has just reappeared!

Should I continue to have lunch with him? It's so hard not to want to kiss him! OMG! I'm 54 feeling 16.


mickthetech 3 years ago Author

I myself think you should. He seems like he won't cross the line. At least not right now lol. But you need to go with your heart. We only have this life to be happy. I took the leap of faith because I was tired of living with "what ifs" and I am so happy I did. I am finally happy after 2 bad marriages and taking care of everyone else. Now I am taken care of and he loves me more than any man ever has and I him. Now the ball is in your court. Good luck. Would love to hear how this turns out.


Michelle 3 years ago

Oh wow, where do I start? The first time I met him I was dating his neighbor and he was dating my best friend. We always hung out as a group. His relationship ended and after I became pregnant mine ended badly. He was there for me. He was my best friend. But that was all. For the next year or so we were inseparable, but just friends. I fell in live with him but was too scared to tell him how I felt. Well he told me he was planning to move and I knew I wanted to tell him to stay here and be with me...but I let him go in hopes that he would find happiness. Its been 10 years since he left. We kept in touch over Facebook over the years, checking in on each other once or twice a year. He was engaged for a while and I got married and had another child. His engagement ended but I'm still married. I'm not happy in my marriage and haven't been for a long time. My husband and I don't even sleep in the same bed! Well one day recently my friend and I were talking and we both admitted to each other how we felt. I couldn't believe it!! I had no idea he was just as much in love with me. He now lives across the country from me but plans to move back. I want to be with him. I love him more than life, but it terrifies me to leave my husband. I'm afraid it will hurt our daughter who adores her dad (she's 4). I'm afraid he won't go civilly either. But I know that I don't want to be with him. Am I crazy? Can this actually work? I feel like a terrible person, but I feel like we've wasted 12 years and I don't want to let him get away again!


mickthetech 3 years ago Author

Do what your heart tell you to do. Ask yourself if it will be a healthy relationship for your daughter if you stay together and then make your decision. Your daughter does come first but she is young and as long as you do not keep her from her father she will adjust. Look into your future and see what you see. Then decide.

It was hard for me too but I know that I made the right decision and I am very happy now.


Michelle 3 years ago

I would never keep her from her father. When I look in my future I see him...I really do. In fact I'm talking to him right now. We fall asleep on the phone with each other because neither one of us want to say bye. He is a musician so he will just play his guitar on the phone to me while I sleep. Or we just listen to each other breathe and it feels like we are together. My husband is never home mind you...and he's not working! He even got a tattoo one day years ago after talking to me he started missing me it says "I'm right here with you" I never knew he had it all these years. He sent me a pic and that's when I knew this was real...and he really has regretted leaving and us not telling each other how we felt so long ago. I'm rambling I know, but I could talk about him for hours!


Lynn 2 years ago

So it really can happen by all these posts I have read. I also reconnected with my first love over 30 years ago. I'm currently going through a divorce and he is starting to leave now. I'm praying that we end up together. The love is still there between us. Saw him over a year ago he lives in a different state than me and those few days we were together were unbelievable but since then we both had to deal with our bad marriages. I don't know what's going to happen next but I know that he is the one he always was!!! Hoping my story turns out like some of your stories. Can't wait to be with the love of my life


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Good luck Lynn. I believe that whatever happens is meant to be. Keep me posted.


Tracy 2 years ago

I was in high school and this guy Rickey and I were infatuated with each other. We wrote to each other everyday, talked everyday and there was a mutual, undeniable bond. The one issue was: I had a boyfriend who I was fully committed to and he respected that. Fast forward eleven years later...

I had a child with my boyfriend and we stayed together for eleven years.

However, I STILL CAN'T GET RICKEY OUT OF MY MIND!! We last emailed in 2007 and we expressed mutual feelings but I haven't heard from him since. At that time, he was in a new relationship and I was still in mine.

I obsess over past memories, which I know can be self destructive, but I NEVER GAVE HIM A CHANCE that he so badly wanted AND now he (seems) happy in his current relationship. He is still with the same woman.

All the reasons I didn't give him a chance in high school are the reasons I still think of him today. Being young and dumb I wanted the "bad guy" not the sweet, introverted selfless soul Rickey is.

Here's my issue. I feel like since 2007 and especially since 2011 when I became single, I've kept my silence about my true feelings for him out of respect for his relationship.

How long do I wait to see if their relationship works out? I miss him sooo much and I just want a chance to apologize and tell him how I feel. He doesn't do social networking ....


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Tracy,

All I can say is that we don't often get second chances. You can tell him how you feel without making him feel obligated to you. Just choose your words well. He may not be contacting you for the same reasons you aren't contacting him. Our of respect.

Email him and tell him what is on your mind.

What is the worse thing that could happen? He doesn't answer you back? At least you get your feelings out.

Good luck.


Shannon 2 years ago

I am thinking of calling an old boyfriend that I haven't seen in 37 years. He's not on FB! A friend of his is though, so I sent him a PM, asking about how he was doing, and that I was very interested in hearing from him! I haven't heard from the friend on FB yet, and it has been at least 2 weeks! It shows that he read the message, so I don't know what to think!? Any advice? I have been a widow for almost 19 years and was in a short relationship after! I haven't been in a relationship now for 9 years! I just turned 60, and I don't want to waste anymore time! All I think about anymore is this guy I use to know! I try to think of others but, nothing but fondness is all I can muster! I'm scared as heck to call now! I hate not knowing! The thing is just when I start to feel brave enough, my tummy knots up severally! Ugh! Oh please someone give me some answers! Thanks!


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Go for it. The worst that could happen is he will hang up but you will then know where you stand. As I told lots of others here, life is too short to live with what ifs. If I didn't respond to that last e-mail I got telling me that "Reunions" found My honey, I wouldn't be married to the most wonderful man in the world right now.

Good luck.


Misty 2 years ago

Need to find my first love asap


lost juliet 2 years ago

i am praying that we can see each other and have a great future together.

after five years i was able to find him in fb though i knw he is committed to someone id still love him. ill wait for him and hope he is my destiny..

only time can tell..


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

If it's meant to be it will be. Just be patient. Mine was in a committed relationship also but in the end, he chose me.


Shari 2 years ago

Hi . This is so helpful to see I am not alone. I too lost my soul mate 30 yrs ago. I had a severe eating disorder and wasn't able to participate in a healthy relationship. But I know we were meant to be together. Since then I got we'll, graduated from college and tried to move on with other people. I even have 2 kids. I contacted him 2 yrs ago - on his 25th wedding anniversary woops to tell him I still love him. He made it clear he is happy. But I still can't set him free. I keep thinking that some day we will reunite. I am just sick about losing him. Especially knowing how good I turned out from being so sick. Why did I have to meet him at the worst time in my life? And now lost him forever. Very very sad. Only man I ever loved.


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Some things are meant to be and some are not for whatever reasons.


beth 2 years ago

So im leaving in two weeks to see my long lost love...i cant even to begin to describe how im feeling...simply lost for words.. when we met 8-9 years ago through my brother we hit it off as friends. She was married but there was definitely an attraction I couldn't deny...I felt drawn to her... one day our friendship was taken to the next level...before anything happened I said "your husband" and she said he wouldn't mind. I felt deeply in love with her. Eventually her husband wasn't so ok with it and didn't want us to see eachother anymore. We would sneak around but it got to the point where we couldn't be together. She had kids and did what she had to do at the time. The last day I seen her I swore I would wait for her. Ive been in relationships since but i always kept my promise because my heart has never let her go. None of my other relationships even came close to the love i have for her. I ended up moved out of state. My heart was broken...to find true love and have to say goodbye...she eventually got divorced and moved out of the country with a guy she started dating. She asked me to come be with her but i at the time was in a relationship. As much as i wanted nothing but her since day one i couldn't go through the pain of losing her again so i never went. We have kept in touch and tried to make plans over the years but it was until recently i wrote her online and said i wanted to see her. She now lives back in the states..i booked my flight and will be there in two weeks......she is re-married....happily...i dont know...i just know that i love her...i always have...from head to toe inside and out..i wouldn't change anything about her...i beleive in my heart that shes my soul mate and I cant live with the "what if" anymore...wish me luck


Pretty woman 10 2 years ago

Hi. I loved reading the stories. I am telling my own to perhaps help someone else make a decision. I met the love of my life by a chance meeting, about 24 years ago. I was only 19. He was 24. He was my neighbor, just finalizing a divorce from a very short marriage. I was just licking my wounds from a violent rape. I was in college, set to be a police officer. He was a very goal oriented man wanting his own business, and he was a construction worker. It was everything a fairy tale romance could be: dancing in the rain, long walks and talks, candle lit dinners, slow dancing, roses, jewelry, the whole nine yards. Up until I met him, had very bad experiences with men. We bonded over being adoptees. We both were adopted and from the same neighborhood. He knew my family. Extremely protective he was, would hold me close as I had flashbacks, and stroke my hair. During an incident in court, my attacker looked at him and said "I will do her again", he lunged at him choking him, was arrested, but let go by the officers considering the circumstances. Thankfully:) I made it thru that incident a stronger woman because of the strong man he was. He really held me up. He was the most loving man I had ever met. Had bought me a car I had been eyeing every time we passed the dealership. Took my lipstick, wrote on the windshield, " I love you." And delivered and parked it at my job. Opened doors for me, walked me over puddles, crazy, mad, passionate love affair. After two years , some insecurities started setting in on both our parts. He wanted a stay at home wife with kids, I was on a career track. Imagined jealousy's took place, arguments. I was a very stupid, stubborn girl. The more he pushed, the farther I bucked. He left and moved out one night after an argument, he asked me to just tell him I loved him, and we would work it out. Dumb young stubborn girl I was, stayed silent, and he left. I cried myself to sleep on the kitchen floor. Cried buckets for weeks, and then I got really stupid. Started dating someone else, rebound, and so did he, after he seen a guy at my apartment. Fast forward two months and he tried to win me back, the catch? The girl he dated was pregnant. Asked me to marry him, he intended on being responsible, taking care of the child, but wanted to marry me. Said he could not live without me. I again in all my stupidness, could not deal with the love of my life having impregnated someone else, knew I would not get over it, and I again let him go. Was totally and completely devestated. It was my own fault thou. Turns out this girl knew how responsible he was, even after he dumped her, she stayed the course, waited to be everything he needed. She had the baby, and sadly it was still birth. Horrible. She threatened to kill herself and her father begged him to just talk to her. He being the man he was, held her up thru the funeral, and after a month, asked her to marry him via the telephone. Romantic it was not. He did know however, that she would be a stay at home wife. The story should have ended there , right? Wrong. We would run into each other those first couple of years, cry our eyes out about how stupid we were, knowing full well we rebounded with other people. He was in a loveless relationship, as was I. I could not take it knowing she had a child with him. The whole being married thing. I moved out of state, cut off all contact. My husband and I had two children. My husband barely wanted to work. I provided for my family. I was miserable at home. Skated thru many years in a completely roommate like situation. Was depressed in everything except my kids and my job. I kept my exes pictures. Seen he had two more kids and just flipped into depression mode, shut myself off from any deep emotion. For years just was on autopilot. Dead inside. No one noticed or cared except for a few very close friends. I thought my ex was happy. In reality, he worked constantly, flipped his whole demeanor towards women, became a weekend alcoholic, seen many many women, looking for his own "spark" in his devoid of feeling life. It was all about money, that's what became important to him, he gave up on believing in love. With the addition of MySpace and Facebook in 09', unbeknownst to me, his wife was stalking my profiles. Watching my every move. My name was not allowed to be uttered by his friends or family. In early 2012, I became diagnosed with Diabetes, was going blind from it, was turning my life around, started going to the gym, losing weight. After a few months, I was getting stronger physically and mentally. I woke up one day, logged on to Facebook, and had a message from one of my ex's friends, using my nickname he always called me, and I knew immediately it was him. Broke out in the widest grin I had not had in 15 years. But, I was wary too at the same time. What could he want after all those years? He left me a number to call. I did. Felt the immediate rush of air leaving my lungs, and felt every single emotion flood back. I thought back to my wedding night when my ex asked me if I was happily married, how I never consummated my marriage on my honeymoon, I had played sick, was devestated because I kept hoping my ex would come thur the door and stop my marriage as he had said he would do years before. He never did. And obviously I got married. Thought about the countless times I would hear a song, see a movie play on tv that we seen together, pass a landmark we visited, and always would cry my eyes out, I never got over him. We had no closure. Told him immediately, no, I was not happy. I was never a cheater. But, we met up after a day, and I swear to God, the minute he laid eyes on me, he had a gift for me, and he cried very heavy tears. It restored all my feelings of what true love is, and no matter, the time that has passed, or the obstacles you face, life is too short to be anything but happy. We talked for hours by the beach. Hugged and cried. Talked endlessly over the next few weeks about our lives. Was mortified to hear of all the ways he shut himself down and became someone he hated. He had quit drinking, knew that he wanted love in his life, and contacted me. He said he could not wait until his kids were 18, he was too miserable and losing pieces of himself. Over the next few months, we discussed what we were going to do. I left my husband, took my kids, and a am still in the divorce process. I had no house to lose or money to really worry about. Have a good job, but, am a public servant, we are not rich. He still has a 13 year old daughter and 14 and 19 year old sons, a house and business. The kids did not ask to be here. He told his wife about me and his family. Our spouses are vindictive. We decided to finish raising the kids two more years. Have to be a parent first. He has no relationship with his wife, sexually or emotionally. We date, publicly. Just not in their hometown. Everyone knows that we will be together. Some were happy, others not so much. There is a stigma attached to an affair, morally at least. As hard as it is to get thru, we cling to one another. We know how precious and short life is, but we have to be responsible parents for our kids sake. I am very much in love and would not trade it for all the world. I am alive again. Happy and alive.


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

As I said in some of my other responses. Everything happens for a reason. You both probobly had to go through all you did to get to this point or you probably would not have made the relationship work back then. I know my husband and I had to go through 2 bad marriages to get to this point in our live some 30 plus years later and we discussed this often that if we had gotten married back then, we wouldn't have made it together.

I am happy for you and yes, you are right. Life is too short. No go and live happily ever after.


Lynne 2 years ago

I'm so glad I found this page. It makes me want to keep the hope alive.

Joel and I met when we were 19. I was travelling at the time and we only spent a week together but I have never forgotten him. I visited him a year after we first met with hopes of seeing if he felt the same way about me, even though there was still a huge connection, he had just become serious with someone (who he eventually married) I had put a relationship on hold back at home to see if David and I had a chance.

I left quite heartbroken and we lost contact after that.

I married my then boyfriend a couple of years later when I became pregnant and we now have 2 kids. He married and had 2 kids with his partner.

I never stopped thinking about him. I found him online and sent him an email. Even on the other side of the world, he answered my email straight away, he was so excited to hear from me and expressed that he thought about me often.

We kept things friendly for a long time, catching up on parts of our lives that we had missed and eventually the truth about our respective marriages came into light. He was in a marriage with no intimacy, and I with no understanding.

We began to lean on each other, then real feelings followed. But I guess they were always there.

I loved and still do love and care about my husband, he is a good man, but he does not understand me. I find myself just existing, perpetually unhappy, living with a respected colleague.

Our kids are challenging and we are a good team most of the time in that regard. But I am seldom happy and I'm becoming someone I loathe.

Joel has fought hard for his marriage, going to counseling to help his wife with her intimacy issues, even believing they were solved and having a second child with her, only to have her relinquish all intimacy again. Sex 3 times in 6 years! He is a wonderful guy. A great dad, kind, funny, cheeky, wonderful. I just wish we could be together. We have skyped in the past and been together that way, but it was emotionally too much for me.

I have tried counseling with my husband also, which ironed out a few things, but hasn't changed my heart. I have loved Joel for 16 years but only spent a week with him in person. Is this even possible? I would say I was delusional if it didn't feel so real. We have talked about leaving our partners to be together, but neither of us feel we could leave our kids. We have joked about reuniting in 35 years... I don't think I can last that long, but I will if I have to, I love him that much. Any time spent with him would be worth it.

His kids are still so little, one of mine is quite young and the other has special needs, I can't see any way to be together, but to wait.

We live on opposite sides of the world.

Reading your stories gives me hope. I pray that our time together comes sooner rather than later.


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Hey Lynn,

All I can tell you that if it's meant to be it will be.


Andrea Bradford. looking fo Robert HadenaiI ho 2 years ago

Hoping he is still alive and wellRo


tee 2 years ago

Three wks ago I got a phone call it was my ex he was so excited to hear my voice he was on d brink of tears, t was so happy I could not believe I was awake this is a dream, he wanted to c me right away but we liv in different parish so we settle for the next day. When he came for me and I went in the car he sat there speechless with tearful eyes so I gave him his moment,when he could talk he said ...u don't know how this moment is special to me,I never know I would see u again I surch for u and couild not give up)_i talk he kiss and yes we intend to take it all d way because we still in love.he also done wonders for my son and mon in that short time and we have not made love yet he is making up for lost times sex will come that's a part of a relationship but we taking it day at a time we both have someone else but god knows best. So ladies follow ur heart


benyf profile image

benyf 2 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

ohhh Tee, this is great...


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Yes it is. Best of luck to you Tee.


lost juliet 2 years ago

hello there mickthetech.

thanks for inspiring me to be more patient in waiting.

i really do missed him a lot but what can i do his too far way from me. its been 9 years now and im still thinking and secretly loving him. im still waiting for him to even send me a msg since were friends in fb and yet he never did.

if ever time will tell and if fate bring us back together i will never hurt him anymore and i will be more honest with my feelings for him even if he is younger than me. i dnt care at all.

i just want to let mg (his initials) know that for nine years hE is the only one i think about and the man that i want to spend the rest of my life with. he doesn't have any idea of what i am feeling inside since i runaway from him when we started dating. i still remember he was in his 4th year highschool and i was in 4th year college and i am sad that i never give ourselves a chance to be lovers though we are both in love with each other. its my fault because i was too confused at that time because of my goals and the age difference issues. all i can say.. until now my feelings for him never change. MG is still the one that i want to grow old with and the man that i love way back year 2005. the year when i first saw him.

until now im still praying that someday and in the near future will walk the aisle together and continue the love that we have kept for the longest time.

with you MG i know that you will be the last person that i will cherished the most for the rest of my life.

...hope that someday you may be able to read this.. ♥♥♥


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Dear lost Juliet,

Don't give up. I didn't. Keep trying. Maybe he didn't see your message. If it's meant to be that you two are together it will be.

I wish you luck. I wish all my readers luck because I am so happy now and I just didn't give up.


stelios 2 years ago

if you are there you will know by my right hand who i am


Azusa Nakano 2 years ago

I've met my first love on Eden.We both love each other and have the same personality.We texted each other every day.I love him so much and he loves me.The problem is, we live in different state. I live in Malaysia and he lives in

Canada.What should I do??

Please help me..


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Azusa,

I lived in Connecticut and he lives in Indiana. I now live in Indiana with him. I did visit him a few times before I made the move but I did it and there were things in our lives that we had to work out but in the end, we love each other so much that we made compromises and ultimately got married. It's up to you. Follow your heart.


gertaaffe 2 years ago

Hi.. I have just given up ! I found out my ex has uploaded a POF profile with a pic I took of him and a mate 22 years ago. I sent this pic t him at Xmas so I know it is a recent join of the dating site. He is "looking for her" and "seeking a relationship" so I gather after all..... I WAS NOT THE ONE. I find it hilarious I believed all his shite talk of love. Oh well. Have "unfriended" him on FB and deleted pics. His loss. At least I can move on from the pipe dream now of 23 yrs ago ! What's the odds wanker will still be in touch at some stage !


September Saphire 2 years ago

This is pretty amazing.

Found my first love after 33 years but would have never believed how this would feel. We never had sex but were very much in love for a short two years. Soooo much in common, and bonded our hearts forever!

Our families disagreed, and mine would not allow me to see him any longer!! I was forced to give back a promise ring. We never broke up. We were forced apart and it ripped our hearts out!

I was an obedient daughter and he was a respectful young man-and didn't want to get arrested.

After all these years, we have met and talked. He's been single due to a wife's affair with his father. Very sad.

We are staying friends. A lot of unanswered questions have been answered. We are still so close and really best friends. He lived his life dream, but was alone mostly, as an entertainer. I have a wonderful family.

I have to say, when I first met him after 33 years, I was so nervous & giddy! Hilarious! It was like being drunk! I ran into a sliding door and knocked it off it's hinges! LMBO I regained my composure and maturity later-somewhat. It was a bittersweet reunion but mostly sweet. No affair. But we love each other dearly.

I would recommend reunions but be wise and considerate of family. Collateral damage can be painful I am sure.

But LIVE. Life is too short.

My husband doesn't know and he would be very jealous of an innocent thing if I shared it. Not worth rumors, etc. For now, we remain close friends. And prayer partners. ❤️

SeptemberSaphire


Aj 2 years ago

KnS .if God brings us together ,no one can tear us apart .


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Aj,

You are absolutely right. I prayed all the time when I was thinking of moving to my love that if it was not right for us to make it all go away and here I am. Fate, Destiny? Call it what you want but here I am.


SadinSF 2 years ago

I have read the stories. It does give me hope, for hope reigns eternal. Here is a note I want to send to the love of my heart.. Please comment

"Hi,

I hope all is well with you. I do not want to overwhelm you, but I wanted to share my thoughts with you.

Let me preface with I do not like using the phrase, "I wanted," to me it is a pursuit in selfishness.

I am not a selfish person, actually I am very generous; but I have always wanted your friendship. I have always wanted your love. I have always loved you, from the moment we met I have loved you.

I never knew how to tell you. I just thought you always knew.

I know you do not want to hear from me; I never understood why. I am saddened and disheartened by this.

What makes me sad and hurts the most is that you won't even acknowledge me. I can't even send this note to you.

I only wanted to love you. I wanted you as my closest friend. I wanted to live my life loving you. I wanted to be poor with you. I wanted to build a life with you. And I wanted grow old with you.

I wanted to talk with you. I wanted to cry with you. I wanted to laugh with you. I wanted to fight with you. I wanted to have joy and fun with you. I wanted to walk my life with you. I wanted to have a deep intimate loving relationship with you. I wanted to know you.

I wanted to take care of you and provide for you. I wanted to have a family with you. I wanted you to be proud of me.

I wanted to cherish you. I wanted to honor you. I wanted to admire you and be there for you.

I have always loved you. I have loved you longer then any man you have known.

I yearn to hear your voice, to see you, to hold your hand.

I think of you always. There has not been a day since I met you that you have not been in my thoughts or on my mind. My heart has ached for you.

I know you will never reach out to me, that is so hard to accept, so hard to understand. It is the burden that I carry to give you what you want.

I love you the only way I can, I have stayed away and I love you from afar.

It is hard to accept, but that is my only choice. It is hard to understand and I never will.

I am not sad or desperate or obsessed or pathetic. I am very happy and would not change anything. I knew you would never let me into your life and I did not want to be alone and I moved on.

My only regret is that I did not pursue you harder; to tell you how I loved you."


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

This is truly beautiful. It brought a tear to my eye. I wish she could see this.


lost juliet 2 years ago

@SadinSf

well to be honest your note is sooo sweet... just try to send her your note and im sure she will be moved with what yyou have written there.How i wish that someday the man that i loved the most will send me that kind of confession note about his feelings with me..soo pls.have the courage to send your letter..

best regards..


SadinSF 2 years ago

Mickthetech & lost Juliet,

Thank you for the comments and kind words. I will send her my note. My fear is that she won't respond; but I rationalize that it does not matter if she responds or not. I hope that her response is the same as what you both have shared. TY ~sadinsf


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

SadinSF,

Remember that her not responding is not the worse thing that could happen. The worse thing is you not sending it to her and wondering for the rest of your life if you should have. Go for it and good luck. Keep us posted.


SadinSF 2 years ago

My question to the post, how would you like to receive a love message? Hand written on stationary? A pretty card? Delivered with flowers? ~Sadinsf


Prettywoman10 2 years ago

To the poster; any kind of message will do. Because if she is interested; she will be extremely happy just to hear from you. Trust me; it's worth the shot.


still his wife 2 years ago

I hope u know u just help me out he is abusive mental n will b goin 2 prison 4 ever he beat me raped kidnapped n held me at gun point there r so many charges he will never get out n we r still married he is still stalking me 2 so have fun while u can cuz they r looking 4'him now they will find him


terrible loss 2 years ago

I DID SOMETHING HORRIBLE, I divorced my soul mate for no reason. It was unplanned; attorney involved tricked me; Judge told me it was 'my court', in one second, doing the total opposite of everything I felt & wanted I blurted out "ok I grant a divorce".

What can I grant, when it was my case? I surely wasn't myself, & it was in the moment. Since then I am so guilty, I miss him all the time, I don't even have a life.

I wrote him a letter, brief, asking to talk, but a phone call from this woman that moved into my home while I was still married to him left me a phone message telling me not to contact HER Husband.

This is so terrible. He was the only man to show me attention, affection, we got along so well, could travel live in a tent, do anything; it was a great loss, but worst of all is the fact I hurt him. There never would had been a separation my husband was reahing out...

I want to make amends. I want to see him, I messed up a few years ago when I had that chance too, but today I will not run again.

This is severe, serious I wouldn't write if it wasn't,...I wish I could get into more details, to have understandings but it'd be to much for the boards space.

Just know I am asking for help. He is definitely my soul mate, I'm not just saying that, we were together for 17 years he never would had left if he didn't think I wanted him. That makes me feel sick too; all I had to do was tell him how I felt. Be honest. But, thru the years I have gone to therapy; I see how my past rape/kidnap/my mother torturing me when dad went to work ,i.e. punching me in the stomach making me recite my three names: Nothing, No One, & Nobody along with bullying & other abuses out there could shape me into being quiet; to a denial sort when a crisis struck. I did have a mental/'emotional breakdown when my husband shocked me with what he had to say with what started our trouble in the first place, so I guess that added up & was ashamed in court & only said those words to get out of there, not even thinking of the consequences to anything,.nor having that intention once to ever divide.,sorry for going on & on; but thank you for reading this. Any advice is appreciated.


VJB 2 years ago

I found or rather we both found each other through Facebook, from 38 years ago! We talked and we texted each in the beginning then we started stop talking and starting communicating through music on Facebook. I often have doubts and we no longer talk or text, but I still hold him in my heart and we send music to each other with messages. He asked me to marry him on Facebook on Christmas Day of 2013! I pray and try to have faith and he often reminds me that I should know him and I do but I still have doubts that we are to be together. I know that he had a girlfriend when we first found each other and he now does not and he often reminds me as I said but it is only through music and he often pops up when I kind of get down and have doubt. I have written stories about our dream secret love, but still nothing has become of this fairytale love. I am 6o years old and way too old for games, but I feel in my heart that we are going to follow through and get married some day. I have started my own global business, written many books, which are not yet published, written many inspirational and motivational poems, etc. since having this man back in my life. My family think I am crazy, but I still feel in my heart that we are going to be together one day. I pray all the time and ask God to give me signs and He does all the time, yet I still lose faith sometimes. Is this crazy or what?


Bronwyn 2 years ago

My first and only love I had to give up it was said that I was not good for him we are both with someone but I have find him I have send him a message now I have to just see


csme 2 years ago

I'm in a relationship now for 6 years. I've alwaus thought I was never inlove with my first but here I sit years later craving his presence. We're from a small town and I moved back for a year when I was 18. I met my first who was 25 out of a divorce with two children. I believe at the time that things were just to complicated to make US work. Now I find myself wondering..what if.


Michelle 2 years ago

We met in Germany 30 years ago and had a 3 week romance. I returned to the states married, divorced but never forgot him. He never married because said I was the only woman he ever loved. We connected on FB 4 months ago. He's coming here to the US in August. We are in love and speak every day for hours. Life is strange and wonderful and I cannot wait to fall into his arms at the airport.


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Michelle,

I can't wait to hear more when you do fall into his arms. Love is a wonderful feeling when you find the right one.


Lisa 2 years ago

I was with my ex for four year. I went into a rebound marriage. I could not get over him. It has been 12 years. We ran into each other at a club. I mean I nearly smacked right into him. We were both stunned. Could not even say hello. After a a few drinks he walked over to me and said hello with a kiss. Again I was speechless. We text each other but it is causal. I just split with husband. It ashamed my husband loves me very much but I never got over my first. I'm seeking a divorce. Hopefully I have another chance.


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Lisa,

I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do. Just remember....don't live with regrets whichever way you decide.


Valerie 2 years ago

2 weeks ago I decided to look up my ex on facebook. It has been almost 11 years and I have never forgotten him. He was my first love. So I found him and I sent him a message and the next day he responded. He was completely in shock. He said he never thought he would hear from me again. We talked about what went wrong in our relationship and he even brought up the good memories that I thought he ha d forgotten about. He remembered everything. Said I am still as beautiful as he remembered and he still loves my eyes. I am just out of an 8 year relationship amd have a daughter. But I never married. He also has never married but is currently in a 7 year relationship with no children. I asked why he never married and his response was that he is afraid of failure. Hes afraid of divorce. We have been messaging each other alot these past 2 weeks. What do you think about this?


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

I think he never married cause he was still thinking about you. I could be wrong but my advice would be to keep talking to him and see where it goes. Don't push him but also don't push him away. Good luck and keep us posted.


Kate 2 years ago

I have enjoyed reading all these stories, which has compelled to share mine. I met Anthony when I was 16 and he was 18. He was cruising in our town and I was cruising with my best friend when we first met. He was unlike any boy I had met and I was attracted from the begininning and so was he. Our love was sweet and special, he worked at a nursing home that was close by my cousins house where I was living at the time. Everymorning he would come see me at 6:00 in the morning to kiss me and tell me to have a wonderful day. We spent almost everyday possible together until I came home to my relatives house to find a note stating that I spend all my time with him and I should move in with him. The locks were changed and I had nowhere to go! My biyfriend spoke with his parents and they asked me to move in and clarified that it was not a requirement for me to date their Son in order to live there. We were very happy living together, although I roomed with his sister and his parents laid rules out for us, we would sneak to each others room to be together. Our relationship eneded for dumb reasons and he moved out because his parents were true to their words about my living conditions. In retaliation I dated to make him jealous but deep down still loved him. I ended up moving out on the encouragement of the boy I had started dating. I was stupid, and he was stupid! He went off into the military and I didn't see him again, although I did receive a letter from him begging me to leave my boyfriend and wait for him. His letter came too late, I was pregnant and planning to get married. Through the years I would sneak to visit his family and would casually inquire about Anthony only to get very vaque information. He never left my mind completely over the last 25 years and I put my all into my marriage to give my children a normal life. I divorced my husband of 21 years and made contact with Anthony and was taken by surprise with the overwhelming emotions that came out of nowhere. We talked and He explained he was currently in a relationship and She was a jealous type and it might not be a good idea to be texting or calling him. I then couldn't stop myself I would text and he call but he finally told me to leave him alone or else. I was heartbroken but then thiught maybe I was just being a fool. Seceral months past and he reached out to me and shared how he had always loved me and that I was the one and every relationship had failed because of me. I am now in a relationship and have mixed emitions about the what ifs! I haven't met him in person to say if the sparks are there for sure, however he does warm my heart and the curiosity is there. What to do!!!!


Leigh 2 years ago

I came across this website looking for answers to these very same questions. Will comeback and share when I have a clear head...right now Im just taking it all in.

This is for you Kate and anyone else asking. Mickthetech is right in saying that sometimes second chances only come around once!! Kate in your heart, you know what to do and that is to answer... your what if. Like some here, I'm in the same situation and I've decided to throw caution to the wind and JUMP!! The way I see it kate, you can't give all of yourself to this current relationship if you keep asking that same question of what if.

You have to decide and only you but for me I'm jumping!!!


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Go for it Leigh. Can't wait to hear how it turns out.


Magical23 2 years ago

When I was 12 years old I had a best friend who I loved more then anything and he love me too. He walk me to school protected me and overall was the love of my life and one day he came to door step and told me he was moving I was crushed not knowing if I would ever see him again I got married and have 5 kids and one day I decided to get on face book and look him up and guess what readers I found him 20 years later and we started talking it was like we were never separated and that when I new that I was still in love with him and that's when we had a affair and later after that I file for divorce and then I moved to peoria where the most wonderful man and I started to date and now we live together and we are really happy.. So readers if you have a first love that you never forgot and that you can see growing old with go take a leap of faith.. Good luck!!


Jenny 2 years ago

I was in an on off again romance 30 years ago. WE WERE TOTALLY IN LOVE BUT FOUGHT ALL THE TIME. WE WERE IN AND OUT OF EACH OTHERS LIVES AND IT was always wonderful when we would meet and have long cuddle up conversations. Then he met someone and he mentioned her and said his parents really liked her. I didn't pay much need to it the. One night he called and said he wanted to talk. I wasn't i. To much of a mood for a chat but he said he wouldn't stay lone. He got to my place and we chatted a bit then he jumped up and stood I. Front of me like he wanted to say so something so I ask him if he has a girlfriend and he looked surprised and said yes so I asked him if he was going to marry her and he said no and when asked why he said he didn't love her. Things went downhill after that. He said didn't we use to care about each other and I sort of noded yes. Then he went into my bedroom. I said no he can't stay over but he said he was tired so he flopped on my bed. I told him I wasn't going to have sex with him and he said fine. So I get I. Bed and he jumps on me but I was adamant so he stopped and went to sleep. Next morning he left and he kept looking at me like he was I imprinting my face on his memory. Then I watched him go to the elevator Nd I never saw him again tiln29 years later. We are both married 25 years plus but mine has been a disaster and he just recently broke up with his wife of all these years. I believe maybe because he saw me. We didn't speak but I was very aware that he was there and I think in his case also. Second time I ran into him we did almost physically but we kept going. Should I phone him and say let's stop with the games and go for a coffee. I know I still love him and I have never forgotten him even though I gave it a really good try and 3 kids later. He has 2 boys. What do you suggest?


Jaimo 2 years ago

Yes - call him and go for coffee - he still loves you. Trust me.


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Jaimo,

Go for it.


Jenny 2 years ago

I love that you think I should call him but what makes you think he still loves me = my question is why would he marry someone else and break my heart I even asked him the night he came over to see me if he going to marry her after I had to mention girlfriend and he said no and when I asked why not he said because he didn't love her and then he goes and marries her I hope you are right though and one other other question should I not wait and see if he calls me once his marriage is settled and they are divorced


Jenny 2 years ago

Also who is Jaimo?


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Sorry Jenny, I meant you not Jaimo..

If you want to know why he got married you have to ask him. Only he can tell you his motive. I think that if you find out he got divorced you should go ahead and make the first move. Yes, you may not get the answer you are hoping for but at least you will know once and for all where you stand.

Keep us posted.


The web 2 years ago

Sometimes two people separate for various reasons but they still loved each other but got married to other people because the other choice would to be alone but it does not mean these two people ever stopped loving the other person. Jenn find out.


jjhilton 2 years ago

Jenny I say go for it, you never know, what's the worst that could happen. If things look good don't do what I did and destroy any chance of something happening just to find out how close it was to happening


Jenny 2 years ago

I so don't want to ruin what I think and want could happen. I have always had such an awareness of him when we were together and even seeing him all these years later - same thing and I think he was very aware that I was there also! I don't know why I couldn't just have walked up to him and said hi how are you doing but I didn't and neither did he. That's why I really think he should be the one to call but how do you get someone to do that? I don't want to push and as he had only been separated about 5 months I worry that they may get back together and I would be devasted then if I had reconnected and this happened. What are the chances of a couple getting back together after 25 years of marriage? And is it just wishful thinking that after what was supposed to have been a "happy" marriage I see him two times in one year in a store and then they are separated? Coincidence or should I really read that this is why it happened? Or is that just crazy thinking?


Jenny 2 years ago

And thank you Jaimo. I so love what you said! Cause deep down I do believe he still loves me


Jaimo 2 years ago

Jen - Make your move. You still love each other. I am confident you will be back together again. - I just know!


Jenny 2 years ago

I hope you're right. Cause I do still love him so much. Just so afraid that I will be hurt again


Jenny 2 years ago

Jaimo I sent him a friend request on FB and messaged him that I hoped if we ever pass by each other again we could at least say hi to each other. Only problem with this is that I was told he never gets on FB! Think this was a stupid idea? Don't know what else to do! But I just can't get him out of my head.


Jaimo 2 years ago

Great - Now you will hear from him!


Jenny 2 years ago

Ok I sent him a friend request and wrote him a little message that stated I hoped if I bumped into him again I could say hi. Big drawback here is that he evident entry doesn't get on FB anymore. But maybe one day he will...stupid move? And Hilton what did you do to destroy your chances of getting back with your loved one? (Hope this gets posted cause my last one didn't or it disappeared). Maybe I didn't hit the post button? Please help with your advise cause I am so confused


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Jenny,

Do a Google search. You will find him,


Jenny 2 years ago

Ok so I guess he does get on FB cause I see he read my message. In my message I said I sent him a friend request and he could either accept it or decline. So far he hasn't done anything with it. He didn't decline and he didn't accept but he did read my message. What to do next? Pls advise ASAP.


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Jenny

Send him a message again and see if he responds. Ask him if he would rather you left him alone and see if you get an answer.


Jaimo 2 years ago

Jen - wait for his response.


Jenny 2 years ago

Yes I will wait. It's only been 30 years so waiting is no big deal!


Jenny 2 years ago

Ok now I am thinking even though he hasn't declined my invite to be FB friends why hasn't he responded to my message with hi nice to hear from You and yes if we do pass each other somewhere I'd like to say hello? Now I'm thinking maybe it's my own Wishful thi nking...pls advise!


Jenny 2 years ago

So he still hasn't accepted or declined me! What to think?


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Jenny,

All you can do is wait.


Jaimo 2 years ago

Jen - He is gathering his thoughts. You will hear from him.


Jenny 2 years ago

So you don't think it just doesn't mean he's just not interested? The fact he hasn't declined I should read as hope?


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

That's right. Just give him time. He probably is confused right now.


John 2 years ago

I first met Melba in Miami in 1986 shortly after my parents migrated from Oklahoma. We met in a little restaurant on the Key Biscayne Island called Stefano's. We dated for about a month then one night after a tense discussion and possibly looking and cutting back the time We spent together I asked her to marry me. I don't know why but at that moment I knew I loved her. We dated and planned around wedding issues for the next two and a half years till frustrations and youth finally caused us to break up and back out. I started trying to get it together with a new car and a new home to show my sincerity and desire. A few weeks after I was in the new place she showed up on my door and We started back like We had been before. I believed in the idea that We needed to complete our education though till this day I'm still learning. However it was only a short time then We were arguing again and the last thing I remember was her slapping me and me slapping her back and telling her I loved her but she had no right to hit me like that. I told her to go home to her mother and not come back till she learned how to treat someone you love.

I regretted that moment for twenty four years. I carried her with me and in my heart in every way till shortly after my fathers death I was doing an internet search and located her. After a brief period of uncertainty she explained that she was married but it was not good. She also explained that she had waited for me as well but had lost hope that she would see me again. I continued to speak thru phone and internet email for the next six months. I offered love and advice and encouragement for the times and issues of her marriage. I am not sure to this day I did right by her husband or wether I let my own selfish desire get in the way.

In February of 2010 I migrated to Scottsdale where she lived. I should've heeded my own doubts because We weren't together more than a day or two and the old blames started all over again. However they passed and We made a deal that I would stay there and work to get an apartment and that I would court her properly. Unfortunately I had no skill short of table service that I could market. Even that though she was willing to help to work toward my staying and us pursuing our relationship.

Its been four and a half years and as of a month or so ago I am now back in Florida. Arguments and it seems like an inability to forgive and regrets from her about missing time alone she should have taken as a single woman finally took there toll. I lost the second of two jobs in a month and I had decided that if this happened I would no longer burden her by living there. I asked her thoughts and she said Florida would be best. I packed the Durango with all my stuff and she handed me two out of three dogs and said she loved me and sent me on my way. For three days I travelled across country to get to Orlando. I talked to her every night and texted her when I could. I arrived and set a jovial feeling as I had not seen my mother for the entire four and a half years. For me it was satisfying. My mother has had multiple heart attacks and became disabled the year my dad died and my concern was overwhelming at times. Now the kicker. About two weeks into being here I was informed by the love of my life that We had broken up when I left, We are now just friends and that I should not think of her or contact her and move forward with my life. Talk about dropping the hammer. I spent the next two weeks trying to talk to her and explain that's not the understanding I had at all to no avail. I was so pissed I have questioned her Why this way?, Is there someone else? What happened to building a life and so on and so forth. I have been told that I focus to much on the past and I need to look forward. This is strange to me because if I hadn't focused on the past originally I would never have sought her out. Anyway I am now limited to email and Im not sure she even reads the stuff I sent. I gave up on that about a week ago after reading that a person shouldn't do such things and space is always good. But I keep reading forums and columns to try to understand everything that's happened. I keep rehashing our life together and trying to figure it all out; Was I too needy?, Was I not there?, I qualified on three different licenses in three years to make a career and constantly was looking for that niche to make it all work. Mutual friends were always talking about the hard work and effort. Anyway her I am. I cant talk to her or contact her and I am sitting in Florida trying to light a fire for options and wondering why after all this We're right back to where We were?

I cant even get so called mutual friends to even pick up the phone or send me an email to let me know all is well. I don't know why but I get the distinct feeling there is something really funky going on. She's a designer for a company that works on hospitality structures and she used to watch the ID Channel murder crap and the housewives all the time so I get this really ugly feeling Ive just got major submarined. All this wouldn't bother me except for the fact I keep thinking of her every night since I left. Any thoughts?


Prettywoman 10 2 years ago

Hi Jenny. There could be various reasons he has not responded to your Facebook request. One of them being his wife may have his passwords; and has deleted your request and messages. Many men are just not active on Facebook and their spouses actually initiated and keep up their accounts. Don't lose hope. Look him up on the internet. Also; I am a firm believer on never giving up no matter how many years go by. It's not over till it's over. Unrequited, lost loves leaves such a huge hole in your heart, some people take many years to process their mistakes; marry other people; and on their own terms realize that no matter what kind of relationship they take on and how hard they try to make it work; that hole can only be filled by the person whom your in love with. Never give up hope. I am celebrating a two year anniversary with my lost love; 24 roses today; and lots of love. I posted my story a while ago, and Please, no one should ever give up hope. What's meant to be will be. Very happy. Look for him, find your answers. Don't give up:):) good luck everyone:)


Jenny 2 years ago

Hi Prettywoman, I hope she isn't the one on FB. I am pretty sure it is him though. She has her own page. I am thinking he just wants to finish up his ties etc with his wife before he starts anything else. It would be nice though if he did just respond like a friend and say hi, nice to hear from you etc., but seems he can't do that. I know he has a couple of ex girlfriends on his page from years ago. Obviously didn't bother his wife but not with me. I am only taking some comfort in the fact at he hasn't declined me. Am I being just stupid and he really has no interest in me after all these years? And again, I had always heard he was happy then I see him and his long term marriage is over! Wishful thinking or not relevant?


Prettywoman10 2 years ago

Hi Jenny:) some spouses tend to oversee the page on Facebook. If it is him , give him some time to process everything. Remember, what's meant to be, will be. Don't give up hope. :)


Jenny 2 years ago

No I am hopeful. I am pretty sure he and his wife have split. I still am in my miserable marriage but would leave in a heartbeat. No love in this union now! Wondering if this is holding him back as well!


Jenny 2 years ago

Well it's been a few weeks and not heard anything! Still in limbo. Would you say that the fact I haven't heard anything is really saying it all? Cause would a normal reaction be some sort of acknowledgement that they were happy to hear from you etc. if deep down they were interested? pls advise...


Jenny 2 years ago

Ok so it's been 2 weeks since I know he read my message. Still no response from him but he hasn't declined my FB request which I take as hopeful! Thinking maybe he wants to finish off with this wife and start anew or is that just me being hopeful? Wouldn't somebody say hey nice to hear from you and ya if we do happen to pass again I will def say hello? Why is it so complicated?


Jenny 2 years ago

How come no one relies to my questions. They are sincere queries!


Jaimo 2 years ago

Jen - Be patient. You made the connection. The ball is in his court. Wait for his response.


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Jen,

I agree with Jaimo. There is nothing you can do but wait and see if he responds. You may be right. He may be trying to settle whatever is going on in his life right now.


Jenny 2 years ago

Thanks for getting back to me and yes I will be patient! Hopefully he is wanting to finish up cause I do think that maybe his thinking is if when the last time he came to see me she hadn't been his girlfriend things may have gone differently! Cause I know with me bringing that up certainly changed the way things were going.


Houston 2 years ago

I have read this blog for a while. So inspired by your love story Mick as well as the other contributors. I met a guy online in 95 when we were both 15. We were pen pals and chat room buds. We lived 4 states apart so never met. We confided in each other through the years like bff's minus the judgement. We both had a kid in our early 20's those relationships didn't work out. We always managed to reconnect (many times by chance) bc I was constantly changing my email accounts and deleting the old ones. I married a man only to find out that he had an issue with substances that gradually increased to stronger more addictive things. To say that life with him has been hell is a bit of an understatement. At times I had suffered from verbal and physical abuse. In one instance I moved out determined to divorce. This is when I reached out to my friend and he comforted me (via phone calls and texts) told me I deserved better and prayed with me. Our phone calls got more frequent and one day he admitted that he had always loved me but was now in love with me. I traveled the 5 hr flight to meet him for the first time ever in 2011. It was as if we had known each other in person the entire time. We both fell in love with the other. I have had a hard time letting go of my marriage. Especially since this last yr has been the best yr for my spouse. He's substance free mostly (he takes some herbal stuff called Kratom) I say it's still a drug but he begs to differ. He hasn't been physically abusive. But with all that has went on in the past I have a lot of resentment and I'm not in love nor am I really happy. On the other side I have this great guy that has his faults but the way he treats me is what I've always wanted and what I feel for him is nothing like I've ever experienced. Should I hang up this marriage and take a leap of faith? That's the question I ask myself. My heart is screaming yes but my brain is pulling me two different ways.


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Houston,

I had the same question in my mind. My heart was telling me that I love this man who is now my husband with all my heart but knew how many people I was hurting if I ended my marriage of 23 years. I finally asked myself the question ....Do I want to live the rest of my life unhappy and pleasing everyone else???? Or do I deserve to be happy?....Through therapy and prayer I made the decision to be happy and I now truly am. I have a man that treats me like I guess I was supposed to be treated. He loves me with all his heart and I him so that my dear is what I would suggest you search your soul and ask yourself the same questions.

Good luck.


jjhilton 2 years ago

I need some advice, just a brief run though again, we met when we were in 2ad grade, lost contact immediately overnight in 95 because of a tragedy in my family, we never got over each other, we lived in Ohio at the time, when I turned 18 I moved to Texas, she married and ended up in Los Angeles, back in February she made contact with my mom who then in turn got in touch with me, she has been with her current husband for 5 years, a few months ago I moved back to Ohio, right before I got here her ex husband came back with her 4 kids, and today I have found out things are not as good as everyone thinks, I was asked if I could ever move to California, if I did it would be a huge leap of faith no family out there and if I didn't have a job immediately once I got there it would be failure, with the cost of living out there she would need a place to stay before leaving her current husband, so what should I do, should I catch the next flight or should we let things play out, if a mother could answer because of the kids that would be great


HappyGirl 2 years ago

36 years apart, reunited two years ago, engaged this month. Dreams can come true. :)


Rach89 2 years ago

Your story is inspiring!!! I really don't feel alone reading everyone's posts. I have contacted my first love but things were put on hold for the last 11 months. I guess what will be will be. He said he never wanted to lose me again. But it was my life that got extremely complicated. I pray that things in our lives workout. I have never stopped loving him from the day we separate. Maybe that day will come and I can have that happily ever after.

"Still Loving You" By Scorpions

"Thank You" By Led Zeppelin


NeedAdvice 2 years ago

Okay here is my story. Back in 1993 at the age of 14 I met my first love. He was 18. My mom was okay with it at first but then forbid me to see him so he stole a car and we took off to be together. However we were caught and arrested in another state. Since he was an adult he did end up going to prison. He had wrote me but my mom didn't give me the letters when he sent them so I self destructed in my life. Then a few years later when I was pregnant and finally in a relationship(which was toxic) my mom gave me the letters. I began reading them and became very emotional but I had to hurry up and get rid of them before my then bf found me reading them( he was abusive) So to make this short I would try to find him from time to time but never could then in April 2014 after 21 years I found him on fb and friend requested him, he instantly accepted. I have been married for almost 3 years this is my first marriage. I have never been able to give anyone all my heart as the pain of losing him nearly destroyed me and in my husband it was the closest I have came. My fl married his 2nd wife this past year. At first our messages were innocent we both told each other that we had tried to find each other but he had moved to another state. One day he messaged me and told me i was once his life but now he would have to settle for playing a small role in my life but asked me to promise to never lose contact with him again because he lost himself when he lost me. Then he convinced me he was in love with his wife and he wants things to work between them however I think he was trying to convince his self because right after that message I couldn't contact him because I was blocked from his Facebook. I was confused and hurt. Then a couple weeks later I get a friend request from him so I accept and instantly get a message saying he had wondered why I wasn't messaging him anymore and then found out his wife blocked me, he then told me he was leaving her and moving back home(which is 45 mins from me) and he would like to get together to catch up sometime. Well I ended up meeting up with him for about a half hour as I had an appt. The moment he got there I jumped out of my vehicle and ran up to him and hugged him we then talked about our present lives a bit then it was time to go and he asked to hug me so as I was going to hug him we locked eyes for a brief moment and I was suddenly hit with feeling of love I hadn't felt since being with him long ago. It took all I had to not kiss him. We parted ways and right away he texted me asking if I made it ok to where I was going. I then told him I had to fight to not kiss him and he said I noticed you were shaking. Well that night we sent me a long message telling me how he still loves me and having me in his arms for a brief moment made him realize why no other girl was ever right for him. He let me go because he wanted the best for me. I am so confused as I do love my husband but with my fl I feel like he is the one. Believe me when I say this he has told me he wants to be with me but will leave it up to me because as long as he knows he has some part of me in his life his life finally means something again. Does anyone think that we should try a second chance if I feel more for him then my husband or do I just be his friend?


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Dear Need Advice,

No one really can tell you what to do. It's up to you to decide your future. Look ahead and ask yourself where you want to be in the years to come. If you are happy with your husband then stay with him. If you feel you are going to hurt him in the future then go with your heart. This is something that I had to do. I loved my husband at the time but I wasn't happy and I knew that my long lost love that I found after all those years would never leave my mind as he never did. I am now happy and do not regret the decision I made but you have to live with the decision YOU make.......I went to therapy before I took the plunge. Just sayin'.


Rach89 2 years ago

Well I tried and he ignored my message. It's good to know where you stand in the lost love's life. Call it bad time or whatever it maybe. I am just glad I got to love him all those years ago. Those memories will not leave me. But my heart can move on knowing where I stand these days.

We had a great run at it last year and it was exciting. To hear that I was always thought of throughout the years. Now it's time for me to move on and find my forever love.

For those of you looking keep trying! You never know where you may end up. You may find that love of your life or you may find closure for your heart. Whatever it may be always believe that love comes out in the end. Thank you to everyone who has posted here. You have been a tremendous help in my journey. May you find your lost love or happiness.

Blessings

Rach89


Jaimo 2 years ago

Jen - Any updates?


Jenny 2 years ago

Hi Jaimo - nothing has changed. Still in limbo but his wife has posted her cover pic on FB now with her and him and their kids about 10 years ago.. So I am assuming she is going through another phase of breaking up after a long marriage goes. I know her friends have left messages saying you can't make someone love you if they don't and that Change is hard but it will work out. I don't know if it means anything that he hasn't declined my invite but hast accepted it either. How would you read that?


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Jenny,

I see this as he needs space right now. He probably wants to finalize things before he starts another relationship. Sometimes people have to have a period of "mourning" before they can continue their lives. I know I have people on my friend request list that I have neither accepted nor declined because I am not sure if I want to yet so give it a little more time.


Jenny 2 years ago

So you think because he hasn't declined me is a good sign? Cause it would be easy just to hit the decline button but he hasn't yet


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Jenny,

I think it is but I would send him a message saying if he isn't interested anymore to go ahead and hit the decline button so you can get on with your life. If he doesn't then you know he needs more time.


Jenny 2 years ago

K I sent him a message saying I noticed he hadn't accepted or declined my FB friend request and if he wanted to decline he could and it wouldn't hurt my feelings... Well he has read my message and he still hasn't declined... How do you read this?


mickthetech 2 years ago Author

Jenny,

If he hasn't declined your message then I would sit back and wait. As I said...he may be waiting for closure from his present relationship.


Jaimo 20 months ago

Jen- Did he ever respond?


Jenny 19 months ago

No and he still is keeping my friend request open. I sent him a message telling him that if he couldn't be friends that was fine and if he declined my fab request he wouldn't hurt my feelings. I know he read my message but he still hasn't accepted or declined. Don't know what to think about that. What do you think that means if anything.


Lee 17 months ago

I have contacted my first love after 18 years. Not to promising but I hope I get to talk to her again. She was so beautiful, caring, and fun. I will always love her now and forever. Wish me luck.


Johnc471 15 months ago

Hahahahahahaha, this politics related YouTube video is actually so comic, I liked it. Thanks in support of sharing this. akkdedkgdeef


Rach89 14 months ago

Lee did yiu hear back from her?

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    Comments 185 comments

    mickthetech 3 years ago

    I do not believe in love spells. If you can't get the love of your life on your own without voodoo then you do not belong in the relationship. Please do not use my blog to advertise your sites. Thank you.


    arnold 3 years ago

    Found my love after 30 years. We are back togther going on a year now , im a very happy man,We have been to a lot of places, we even work on homes togther and not one arugment , We plan to get married in june , happy days for me for sure, i try and not look into the past because dont want to kick my self for ever letting her go.


    mickthetech 3 years ago

    So happy for you. I am happy too. My now husband tells me all the time that he should have never let me go then but everything happens for a reason and I think we had to go through our lives and do what we had to do to end up with spending the rest of our lives together now. After all, that is all,, at the end of the day, the here and now is all that matters. Congrats!


    mickthetech 3 years ago

    Please stop using this blog for your advertising.


    Kim 3 years ago

    I found my lost love April 2013 after 17 years! At this point I was totally unhappy with some situations that went on. We have been talking every since and he is planning to relocate where I am. I am still married but have told my husband about him, and we will divorce soon. I realize i need to close this door first. My lost love is not my full reason for wanting to leave, we have had issues that are irreparable in my eyes, even if i do forgive him. My current husband wants to work it out but I don't. I feel like a failure because I don't want to work it out but I can't see staying the rest of my life with my husband even though he is a "good" guy. Maybe I'm a fool. Who knows but I love, love my lost loves, loves me!


    mickthetech 3 years ago

    Hey Kim. As I said when I posted this blog, your story sounds like mine. I couldn't see staying in a relationship where I was only there to make everyone and him happy and I was miserable. I was the one that relocated and we got married after 2 years of living together. It was the best thing I ever did for myself and for my hubby. We never lost our love for each other and he tells everyone that he should have married me back then but he was too wild and didn't want to make me unhappy then. I will never have to say "what if" cause I did.

    Good luck.


    nette 3 years ago

    I finally reunited with my lost love on Sept 30, 2013 after 21 years! He came to see me on that day. We had been talking ever since I found him through the internet in 2007 but we never got to see each other. We met while overseas Desert Storm in 1990 but lost track of each other after my company was sent back home. After all that time, I couldn't get him off my mind and it was like meeting for the first time all over again! He says everything happens for a reason and you know what, I believe him. I am happier now than I have been in a very, very long time.


    mickthetech 3 years ago Author

    That is what my love told me. He said we had to go through all we went through in the 30 years we were apart to wind up where we are today. Married and happy. He always told me that everything happens for a reason as your love told you and that is the truth. Good luck to you.


    chrissybe 3 years ago

    20 years ago, I spent a month in England after graduating from college. I've been a lifelong Anglophile and it was a wonderful trip. On the flight back to the US, I saw the most ruggedly handsome man I had ever laid eyes on board my flight. I remember thinking, I had to talk to him. His seat was nowhere near mine so, I never spoke to him. Our flight had a layover in Amsterdam & upon boarding the next flight, the gate agent changed my seat assignment because the flight was not full. Then it happened, he boarded that flight as well. This time he sat behind me! We were delayed for 5 hours on the tarmac, but a glorious 5 hours they were. He struck up a converstion with me and then moved to the seat next to me. He was everything I had ever dreamed of: funny, intelligent, handsome, older and BRITISH! He told me he didn't want to ask for my phone number, but gave me his in the States and said if I wanted to meet I could call him. If it weren't for a pending family vacation, I would have called him the day after we landed. We met for dinner & he had totally captured me. The whole summer we were together every day. He returned to England when his business was complete. But returned to me the next summer. We talked weekly in between visits. I visited him over Christmas. Things came to an end when it was made known he wasn't the marrying kind; but he did let me know often that he loved me and I him. The distance was also an insurmountable issue as well, I couldn't imagine leaving my family & life in the US; as much as I loved him & England. I married the first & only man who asked me. I loved him but not nearly as deeply as I loved Dallas. I remember thinking of Dallas as I walked down the aisle at my wedding. How wrong is that? I did think about Dallas often over the years. Fast forward 20 years later, I started having dreams of him. And finally I looked him up on the internet. I didn't hold out hope, knowing he was a lone wolf who shunned any type of technology. I managed to find a google image of his business. I wrote him to see how he was and to see if he had someone to "look after" him. A week later I got a text from him telling me I could call him if I wanted. I called the next day and I was full of butterflies and completely euphoric. He kept telling me he had read my letter over and over again and how good it was to talk with me. That was 6 months ago. We text and speak 6 days a week. He always closes our calls with, "I love you, darling." It is as if, it never ended. My marriage has not been so happy. He is a good man, but, I realized about 8 months ago he is gay. I had suspected it for many years, but I didn't want to believe it. It has been 7 years since we were intimate, and to be honest, I'm good with that. I can't get past him being gay; although I haven't confronted (in a gentle, compassionate way) him about what I know. I want to be happy, I want a new life with Dallas...we are soulmates. It feels good to let all this out to someone.


    mickthetech 3 years ago Author

    Hey Chrissy,

    Isn't it funny how that one person just never leaves your thoughts? That's what happened to me. He was my first love and now my last. All things happen the way they do for a reason. I feel we are brought back together for that reason. Now it's up to you. I think you should discuss this with him. Be open and honest and tell him how you feel if you really want a life with Dallas. Whatever happens after that is meant to be. I know that if I didn't follow my heart, I wouldn't be with the man I truly loved for all these years. Let me know what happens and I wish you all the luck and love you deserve.


    chrissybe 3 years ago

    Thanks, Mick~ I will keep you posted. I know it will be a tough convo with my husband, but it has to be sone.


    lulu 3 years ago

    Wow! All this article are very inspiring and motivating. I am currently in this situation, I am currently in communication with my loss love after 30 years, we are both married with grown up children. Were both in different country. Love him so very much but he loves me more....:-)


    TMW 3 years ago

    I found my first love on facebook and we met for a drink (30 years later). We are both single and both have 1 son. I told him I was nervous, he was my first real love, but after talking and laughing for a few hours, we both knew there was still a spark between us. By the end of the night he asked if we could start dating again and of course I said yes. Men don't ask anymore, it was really sweet. I really believe things happen for a reason, I just never thought it would happen this way. What an unexpected surprise, I couldn't be happier! :)


    mickthetech 3 years ago Author

    Whooohooo. 30 seems to be a magic number. So happy for you.


    JuliaCasting 2 years ago

    Hi There,

    This is the sweetest story! I'm actually casting a new inspirational series for a major cable network that is about reconnecting lost loves! I wonder if you have heard from anyone who is trying to find a former sweetheart but can't--or if anyone reading this is trying to do that! If so, please feel free to reach out at reunitedcasting@gmail.com. I hope you don't mind my reaching out on your blog. Thank you so much for any help and for your time! :)

    Julia


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Hi Julia.

    No I don't mind at all. If anyone posts a comment and is looking I will refer them to you.

    ;)


    benyf profile image

    benyf 2 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

    I just spent the last 3h reading these posts. I can't believe that I'm not alone. He was my high school sweetheart 15 years ago. We we still in Africa back then. I moved to the USA for college, got married and had two kids. He contacted me 5 years ago via phone then via facebook. At the time, I was just baffled at his love and devotion but my husband still meant a lot to me. Then my marriage began to go down the drain because of preexisting financial disputes, and I remembered him. I then called and he informed me that he had joined the US Navy and did not want to be a home wrecker, so I had to mend things with my husband. Unfortunately for me, I was falling head over hill over him but he was rejecting me. It was all coming back to me; the innocence of the relationship, the butterflies...the peace. Well, i proceeded with my divorce and started dating someone that I met through a family member. This is when he reappeared, called me from one of his trips overseas, told me that he loved me. I was baffled at his timing. I informed him that it had been a year; I was now divorced and dating. He then called me when he came back into the country. My current, now ex-boyfriend, discovered our text messages and got furious. He broke up with me and called me a heartbreaker. I felt miserable, although I didn't love him as much as I loved my high school sweetheart, I did not want things between us to end so terribly. Come to think about it, I probably jumped too soon into a relationship. Then my sweetheart called again on my birthday, informing me that he was coming to see me. We briefly met for a drink and I then excused myself. He was still as handsome and charming as I remembered him, however I was still healing from a divorce and a break-up, so I felt that I needed to "run". I love him so much but I don't want to continue this pattern of broken relationships. I am scared.


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    You say you are scared and I understand but will you be more upset if you didn't try and wonder the rest of your life if you should have? I was scared too. My now husband also told me he didn't want to be a home wrecker as I told him that my then husband was good to me but I was in fact miserable. We talked on the phone and chatted on the computer for about 6 months before we even met up again. I was competing with another woman but I did not give up. I knew how much I loved this man 30 plus years ago and I knew I still loved him. My persistance overcame everything and I am not sorry. I went through 2 bad marriages before this. I was married for 23 years and I did love him very much but couldn't live miserable any more so I went against everyone in my family who is now very supportive of me as they see how loving this man that I have in my life is.

    I won't tell you what you should do. I can only tell you my experience and tell you that I didn't want to live with doubts.


    jelo 2 years ago

    OMG! I am in the same situation now, after 23 years we finally talk through our friend. We started liking each other when we were in 3rd grade, everybody was teasing us so we didn't get a chance to say Hi or Hello then, we communicate through the Eyes :). He sent me an xmas card with "I love you" & his photo inside, oh, so nervous that time because I was afraid my mom might found it.

    The feeling is different, somewhat magical....

    But I have a problem, he has a gf for almost 4 years now. But he says he loves me and doesn't want to lose me again and I also. Its also unfair to the gf.

    I don't want to get involve in this kind of drama again, I don't want to expect! What should i do?


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Tell him how you feel. Tell him that you still love him but do not want to start a relationship if he is still involved with someone else. He has to make the choice. My guy too had a girlfriend when I reconnected with him and he also said he didn't want to lose me again. I was patient and just friends with him until he made the choice. He chose me and I'm glad I waited.


    jelo 2 years ago

    Thank you for the advise @mickthetech.

    But how long should I wait? Is it okay to meet him in person?


    MaggieBrown21 2 years ago

    I found my true love (we'll call him Jack) on FB back in Oct and sent a friend request. I didn't hear anything from him until Jan, when he accepted my request. I met him 31 years ago after I divorced my first husband, we dated for 3 or 4 years, everything was wonderful!! I loved him so much and he loved me back as well as my young daughter. He had a job, that kept him pretty busy a lot at night, but we did manage to see each other regularly. I was 26 at the time and was very insecure about being alone for the rest of my life. After a few years, I think I got lonely when he wasn't around and started doing other things with friends. We never got in a fight and broke up, we just drifted apart. For the next 4 or 5 years, we would still get together sometimes, but not exclusively. To be honest, I really can't remember if we ever had a conversation about not dating anymore. I met a really nice man that wanted to marry me and take care of my daughter now 10, for the rest of my life. I told my Jack, and he wished me well, all he ever wanted was for me to be happy. Move forward about 5 years, still married, had another little girl, she was about 3 or 4 at the time. My husband's ex wife and his two daughters were always starting drama about my older daughter, his "step daughter". It really made life hard on us all, but mostly me because I was caught in the middle. There was fighting all of the time. All this time, even though I loved my husband, I would think about Jack. Dream about him, cry about him.....make my self miserable. I would call him and we got together several times for lunch, dinner, drinks, whenever I could get away. We stayed in touch somewhat for awhile and like before, time just slipped away and then I didn't know how to get in touch with him. The dreams still happened, the tears and thoughts. A year ago in January my husband of 23 years passed away after losing his battle with cancer. My feelings for the last year have been that I could not see myself ever dating again, certainly not ever getting married again. I had such a rough marriage, I won't go into that, but had let myself go as far as weight really bad. I'll just say this, when I was cute and sexy, my husband was always so jealous, that I couldn't stand the arguments! No I wasn't doing anything. So I gained weight and it shut him up. Here we are in the present and Jack has come back into my life. After he accepted my friend request, in Jan he messaged me asking if I was "his girl" because he couldn't believe that he found me. He was so happy that he knew where I was now, telling me how much he loved me back then, has never forgot me and in fact still loves me now. I was his one true love and shouldn't have let me get away. It took me awhile to warm up, because I was a bit in shock!! I had never seen this much emotion from him back in the day. Sure, he told me he loved me, but never with this much emotion and excitement. We've been texting and talking on the phone for the last month and now are planning to have lunch in a couple of days. He has told me that I was his 10 and was always so proud to be with me. Jack always worked out and lifted weights to the extreme. I wasn't that much into working out back then, but I was pretty cute and good figure. I've mentioned a time or two how I've changed, told him the story about gaining weight to stop the husband's jealousy and practically living at the hospital while husband was so sick. He says that he has seen my pictures on FB. YIKES!!! Guess that was before I changed it so people couldn't see pics that I was tagged in. He has also said that what we had was true love, love of the heart and nothing else matters. I've been working out since we started talking. I have an incentive now, but we all know that a several weeks isn't enough to change that much. I'm scared to death of disappointing him. He's told me to stop talking badly about "his girl", that when we get older, all that matters is what's in your heart. I hear him and when he says it I believe him, but once I'm by myself, the desperation comes back. I want to see him so badly, but I'm scared he won't like what he sees. I'm 56 and he's 60. In my mind I'm still young, but I look in the mirror and she's not the person in my mind. I don't have wrinkles, I've got great skin, I'm not worried about that. Someone have some words that will help to get me out of this horrible feeling?


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Hi Maggie,

    Wow, all these stories are so similar to mine. I too was worried about how my guy would feel when he saw me after all these years. I am not the barbie type either but we both changed after so many years. He loves me for who I am. I have more of a problem with my body than he does. He says I am beautiful to him no matter what and I don't think you should worry about it. When we are young it is so important how we look. When we get older it doesn't matter any more.... well not to most guys. It's what's in your heart and how you love that matters.

    I think you are making yourself worry for nothing. He sounds like he loves you for you not for how you look. I was much thinner when we met up again and have gained some weight since. Yeah, hormones will do that but he said he doesn't see it and doesn't care.

    Just go see him. Don't fret. Life is too short. You won't disappoint him. Good luck and keep me posted.


    MaggieBrown21 2 years ago

    mickthetech

    Thank you for your quick response and words of encouragement. I will definitely keep you posted.

    Your blog is a great place to tell our stories, I'm so glad I found it and you are wonderful angel to help everyone that comes to you!!


    lostcause 2 years ago

    So many happy stories here... but they aren't always happy, as I found out several years ago. I started talking by email to an old high school friend after a mutual friend's death. I guess you could say he was my boyfriend for a few months back in high school. I was the one who broke it off. Apparently he never lost his feelings for me even after 37 years and a wife and 2 kids. I was at a weak moment in my marriage, that "empty nest" time when my youngest was about to graduate and go on to college. My life had revolved around my kids and my husband and I had grown apart and had been having issues for many years. I wasn't even sure I wanted to stay in the marriage. We kept talking by email, then phone. We met a couple times and talked about our situations. I didn't want to rush into anything, cause I didn't have those lingering feelings like he did, though I had begun to feel more deeply for him over that time we were emailing, etc. In a nutshell, he wouldn't meet in public as friends - which I'd have preferred - but he was too scared to meet me in private for fear of "getting caught." So we decided to break that off and not try to get together anymore. Thing is, after this, he totally refused to go back to being the friends we'd been for about 40 years.. which has made things just plain weird, esp at class reunions and around our mutual friends. I've tried to shoot him a casual email now and then, just to keep in touch, but he no longer replies to them at all, which both hurts and makes me mad, sad, and bitter toward him. So I truly do wish we had NEVER reached out to each other in that way. No happy ending for us, just the loss of a friendship. :-(


    benyf profile image

    benyf 2 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

    Hi lostcause,

    When I reconnected with my first love, we talked every night. Then he suddenly stopped everything: no more calls. I was chocked and heartbroken. Then a friend called him on my behalf and he hung up on his face. Then I called and he told me not to get other people involved in our relationship. I was still married at the time...really we were separated and I was starting the divorce process. One year later, my sweetheart called randomly to check on me. I was surprised. I told him that I was divorced and dating someone. He explained that he was very confused a year back; he wanted to be with me but he didn't want to be called a home wrecker. So he chose to take his distances. He explained that he wants to marry me but he doesn't want to force me. You can imagine my surprise. I told him that it wasn't the right time. So I went through a period of confusion and finally ended that other relationship. I informed him that I was finally free and he booked the next flight to my town. We only saw each other briefly as I wanted to take it slow, and he respected that. I have to say that being around him makes life worth living. All this to tell you that if he is your one true love, just be patient and give him time to sort things out. Things with my sweetheart are still going slow but I am always overjoyed when I interact with him.


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Benyf,

    Yes this is true. If he is her true love it will happen. I too took things slow. I lived with my honey for a while and we were engaged for almost a year before I decided it was the right time to get married. Actually I came home from work one day on a Monday and told my sweetie that we were getting married that thursday. It was that quick and I am a happy happy girl. As I tell all my readers, If it's meant to be it will be.


    lostcause 2 years ago

    Hi Benyf & mickthetech,

    Thanks for your thoughts. Yes, I agree - if he is the one, I'll end up with him somehow in the end... but I'm inclined now to believe he isn't, actually. I was just venting, I guess. Fact is, after I finally decided he wasn't "the one" and thought about my situation and the problems I had with my husband, I came to see that I'd have probably had those same or different problems with him, too ?? And after my kids were gone, my husband and I decided to work on our marriage, which we've done - and we're OK now. We have 4 kids, a grandchild, and over 40 years together, and I guess we're in it for the long haul. But that doesn't make me any less sad that my "old friend" won't talk to me anymore. Though he did at our class reunion - he made a point of coming over to talk to me, not vice verse - and he was telling me about some personal things that had been happening in his life in the few years since we hadn't spoken... it was very awkward, but it made me think maybe things would finally go back to normal.. but no! When I sent him an email afterwards, nothing.... just complete silence... I simply don't get that.. ?? And that's what brings me to these pages - to see if anybody else has had somebody act like this.. guess I'm just looking to understand him... and not feel so hurt by it... and I felt compelled to tell my story.. (old Debbie Downer here! Sorry for that!)


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Dear lostcause,

    He is probably trying not to show his true feelings for you and that is what his silence is about. Don't take it as he just doesn't want to be your friend. Just that he is scared that if he does continue the friendship he won't be able to leave it at that. You may have been his special someone and he doesn't want to come between what you have now. If you can work things through with your husband than so be it and go on with your life and know that he did reconnect with you. No everyone gets that opportunity.


    lostcause 2 years ago

    Dear mickthetech,

    Thanks so much for the insight. It was really great just to hear somebody's opinion on the situation - I haven't been able to tell anybody about what happened at all, and it's been about 6 years of holding it in! It felt good just to tell my story, so thanks for doing this Hub and giving me a place to do that! Whether your answer is the reason for his silence or not, I'm choosing to believe that - cause otherwise, his behavior just frustrates me to no end! I do know in our emails he told me that I was "the one" who for some reason really broke his heart and it took him quite awhile to get over it. I just couldn't believe that somebody could hold onto those feelings for 40 years! We had only dated for months, not years, and I guess I considered him more of a friend than anything, so when the "more than friends" thing didn't work out when we reconnected, I just couldn't imagine - after actually getting to know him better than I even did in high school - that we wouldn't be friends forever!? But... I guess maybe he didn't ever really think of me as a friend, so he couldn't go back to pretending - which he must have been doing all those years? Who knew? Funny how much you can keep learning about people - no matter how old you are!? Again, thanks so much for giving me a sounding board! I won't pollute your happy place with my sad feelings anymore.. You did make me feel a little better about it all.. :-)


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Dear Lostcause,

    I have no problem with you coming here to vent. Funny how when I read your post here it reminded me of us. We only dated for 3 months and he told me that he had to go back and he didn't want it to turn into anything other than friendship but that is not what happened in my heart. I loved him from the very beginning and never stopped. I too told him that he broke my heart when he left and he still to this day applogizes for that. Even his ex wife told me that he never stopped talking about me. Who knew.

    Good luck. Keep me posted.


    lostcause 2 years ago

    Haha... so I guess I do see now that you CAN get those feelings in only a few months and keep them for a long, long time.. even through years of marriages and kids! If you did, I guess I can believe he did, too… I just couldn't understand it cause I never felt that way about anybody - not this guy or anybody else! So it was hard for me to believe his feelings were real… especially after he wouldn’t speak now and then to at least keep in touch. He told me to listen to the song Kite by U2… I told him Bono might think “this is not goodbye” – but it is if you don’t speak ever again… and I’d much rather be friends than nothing, especially as we get older. I had to change my feelings for him to think of him as only a friend now, too, but I did it... cause you never know when the last time you meet again could be - maybe never!? So I do hope that someday he’ll come around and do the same before it’s too late! Who knows?? Time will tell… Oh… and believe your hubby when he says he's sorry for breaking your heart... I’m sure he’d change that in a minute if he could! I couldn't apologize enough, and I’ll always feel so bad about that... now that I know how bad it hurt him. :-( I really am happy it worked out for you in the end - I do love a happy ending!


    Kathy Sublett 2 years ago

    Iam trying to find my sons father thay have ask about him I can not tell them much about him. It has been 30 years sence I seen him and thay never have


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    You can do a search on Google or you can go to peoplefind.com. and pay a small fee but they tell you if they found him before you pay.

    Good luck!


    motnahp 2 years ago

    Several years ago a former Navy friend found me after 20 years and this got me thinking, wondering where people ended up. I found many former shipmates and a few classmates. I even found people that I attended elementary schools with in other states 40 years ago. There was one person, "S", that I could not find. It peeved me so because she was the only girl who ever pursued me. At that time in my life I was very immature and had many problems. I had a one-year marriage to someone with even more problems than myself and I was surely headed for a bad life. Within a short time after my divorce "S" called me. She was a senior in high school at the time, very beautiful, and also from a military family. I was a troubled youth who'd just been divorced at age 19 and my only concern was when I would get my next high. I went to see her at her parents' house and basically had no idea what to say or do. I remember asking her if it was OK to smoke (as I was standing inside her parents' home). I don't remember what happened next, but I probably went outside and lit up. I know we chatted for a bit, but I was certainly not looking for any relationship, having just divorced. Even if I were, I felt like a complete loser and had no business with such a girl. I have not seen her since that day in 1980 or 1981. I heard from someone that she'd moved to another state. Just as well. Wasn't that always what happened in my life as a military brat? One of us always moving away.

    I spent 20 years in the Navy, the first 10 as a single man. Despite travels to many foreign countries and exotic ports, I didn't date or have relations with anyone. I felt that I was saving myself for someone and I never understood sleeping with strangers and giving oneself so freely. If anyone asked, and several did, I explained my lack of romance by saying that I probably would get married again and it would be when I was about 30 and to someone I met in a bowling alley. I learned in 1991-1992 not to believe in coincidence. A strange sequence of events brought me to where I am now.

    I was living in a cold, but beautiful, foreign country while serving in the Navy. I was up for transfer and had negotiated for orders to a processing station in Springfield, Mass. I'd never been to that part of the country for more than a few days, so I was looking forward to it, planning trips to Boston and Hartford in my mind. A few weeks went by and I still had not received any orders. I checked back with the detailer (then in Wash, DC). He said that my career counselor was supposed to send a message to DC confirming my eligibility for the assignment. It had not been received and the orders went to someone else. Wherever you are, Val G., thank you for that! I somehow ended up with orders to another processing station, this one only 3 hours from my one-time home in GA. Flush with some re-enlistment money in my bank account I ventured to my new assignment and my first experience on shore duty. I had never been to the city I would be living in, so I bought a newspaper and looked for someplace to rent. I had almost a month of leave time before reporting, so I was driving back and forth from GA to AL for a week or so while I was getting myself settled in.

    I had been in my apartment for a week or so when I decided to venture out into the neighborhood. The apartment complex had two ways in/out and I had always chosen the same one, as it lead directly to the main highway. That night, I chose the other exit and my headlights shone on the bowling alley parking lot. I had been a serious bowler the last few years and this was certainly a welcome sight. I was a regular visitor during the day for a couple weeks after that. I was still on my leave time and used this time to improve my skill on the lanes. Once I felt comfortable with the lane conditions I asked about league openings. This was November, so leagues had already started. There were some leagues with openings to fill, though. I first signed up for the house's scratch league, which bowled on Thursday nights at 9. A small handicap league also bowled on Thursdays at 6PMand had openings. I put my name down on that list, too, figuring I could use the first league as practice for the scratch league.

    I'll skip the bowling highlights here, except for almost bowling my first 300 game the first night on the scratch league (damned 4-pin). That same night marked my first-ever 700 series (a 726) and I got quickly noticed by all the "regulars".

    Oh, by the way, I ended up marrying the secretary of the 6PM league six months later. We were both 30. We are still a couple today. I know I've gone a long way to explain why I don't believe in coincidence and this brings me back to why I'm writing today.

    Five days ago when I found "S" after 30+ years I wondered "why now?" I still don't believe in coincidence and my faith has me praying for guidance. Every day this past week has brought me closer to her, yet still so far. The Internet is a wonderful tool, but sometimes there's too much info. I found one possible address for "S" and some possible exes. I found that her parents live (or lived?) back in GA in the same town where we used to live. On one site looking for "S" I saw a picture of a young child, almost certainly her grandson. On another site, under possible relatives, I found a woman's name I'd never seen before. I looked her up and found a photo display with her husband and the same young boy I'd seen, the grandson! I had found "S"'s daughter, but not "S" herself! There was no doubt about it, she had the same features as her mother , including the beautiful smile I remember. "S" had mentioned on one site that she had a married daughter.

    Sorry if this sounds a little creepy to anyone. It's made me a little uncomfortable, too. I don't really know if she's even thought of me over the last 30+ years. Until the last couple of days, I had avoided social media sites and had no intention of ever joining one.

    One of the sites I joined showed a list of "likes" for "S". Among them were two movies that have only been in theaters for less than a month. Either "S" recently visited the site and updated or someone running the site is extremely clever/cruel. Whatever the case, it prompted me to try and upgrade my account, after sending "S" a long message. I sure didn't want to put the upgrade payment on a credit card. My wife might not approve of that particular transaction. I bought a gift card and tried to upgrade, but the site wouldn't let me do that. I joined and tried paypal, which would accept the gift card to start a balance only after I released sensitive personal data to them. No, thanks. Looks like I'm stuck now. I have a few options, none of which is ideal.

    (1) Contact her father and ask if he will ask "S' to contact me. I'm not 100% sure of his location, though.

    (2) Contact her sister and ask the same. I am pretty certain of her location. It looks as if she's in NC and runs her own business from home.

    (3) Write "S" directly at the only address I have found, not knowing if she still lives there or if my letter would cause grief of some kind for her. I also have a phone number for her at this address, but the same risks apply.

    I can't "do nothing" and forget this happened. She is occupying my thoughts too much for that. I'm stable and until a few days ago, very balanced in my life. I'm a Libra (so is "S"), so balance seems to be what I'm always trying to maintain. This experience has been anything but balanced.

    I want to apologize to "S" for the me she knew 30+ years ago. Whatever happens, though, it will be because it's meant to be (or not to be). As I said, I don't believe in coincidence. I have never even considered a relationship outside my marriage. Pray for me.


    motnahp 2 years ago

    In my post above, option (2) should have read "daughter". "S" does have some brothers and sisters, but I've long ago forgotten their names.


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    I will pray for you. Just so you know, Paypal.com is one of the most secure sites there is even if they ask for your info. I have been using them for years and I had one incident where there was a trasaction that was not mine and they investigated and got my money back.

    Back to where we were.....everything does happen for a reason but look around you before you persue anything and make sure it is really worth the knowledge you are seeking. Good luck. Prayers going out to you.


    lulubelle16 2 years ago

    I have found myself in the same situation and am so lost! I am married with 4 beautiful children but I am not in love with my husband and am staying in my marriage for my children. I have recently got in contact with my first love after 18 years, I was 14 he was 15, he had come to live with an Aunt after both his parents tragically died. The chemistry was immense and although only very young we were deeply in love. About 8 months into our relationship something devastating happened to me and to try and save him anymore stress or heartache after loosing his parents I started to detach myself from him in the hope he would thin I had lost interest and move on with his life, I was utterly heartbroken. He moved back to where he came from at just 18 years old met a girl and she fell pregnant and being a good guy has dedicated himself to her and their child for 16 years. I had never forgotten him and have searched for years, when I managed to find him through facebook I wrote to him and got a very excited phone call a week later (international post) we talked for hours he asked why I stopped contact all those years ago It was too hard to explain over the phone so I wrote him another letter and waited an agonsing week to see what his response would be. He rang last week full of emotion, he was devastated for me at what had happened but was thankful he now new why I walked away. He then told me I was and still am the love of his life , he never forgot me and longs to be with me again. I feel the same but the we live on different continents!! We are texting, talking and emailing every day, and each day I fall deeper for him as if the last 18 years had never happened. I just don't know what to do. I have my children to think of and am so utterly confused,


    jjhilton 2 years ago

    Its good to see this happens in real life, that gives me a will to stick it out. I ment my first girlfriend/ crush/ best friend when we were about 8 and 9 years old, then a tragedy happened that took me away without even a good bye, here it is 19+ years later I live 2200 miles from our last location and she lives about 3500 miles and we are still 1400 away from each other but we managed to find one another, we both could never get over what happened, I'm single and she has been trying to work things out in her relationship which may or may not happen, she has told me if not I would be her first call, we chat nearly every day, we flirt, we have talked about life if she cant work things out. So after seeing this I do believe in hope


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    To Lulubell and Jjhilton. If it's meant to be it will be. I stayed in my marriage for 23 years one for my daughter and one thinking that this is what life was supposed to be like. When I reconnected with my love I realized the true way I should have been treated. I hurt alot of people by pursuing him but they all got over it and in the end I am a better woman for it. Even my ex who by the way got married 3 months after we divorced, understands why I had to get out of our marriage. I followed my heart.


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    To Lulubell and Jjhilton. If it's meant to be it will be. I stayed in my marriage for 23 years one for my daughter and one thinking that this is what life was supposed to be like. When I reconnected with my love I realized the true way I should have been treated. I hurt alot of people by pursuing him but they all got over it and in the end I am a better woman for it. Even my ex who by the way got married 3 months after we divorced, understands why I had to get out of our marriage. I followed my heart.


    jjhilton 2 years ago

    Your right if its ment to be it will, if it does I will be the luckiest man that ever lived if not at this time I will move on and thank god for giving me my best friend back and if she is happy knowing that will make me happy finally knowing she is being taken care of. It doesn't matter if she is with me or someone else she does deserve to be put on a pedestal


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    jj, I hope she sees this post you just wrote.


    jjhilton 2 years ago

    I hope she sees it as well, I've told her I love her like a third sister and I don't know if I'm attracted to her, I don't know if I will ever be able to tell her how I really fell and that is she has always ment the world to me, for the last 19 years she is the only girl I've cared about, ever time I dream she's been there, I've had relationships fail because I never could love anyone else like I do with her even though we were kids at the time, if I were to go blind today I wouldn't care because she was all I cared to look at. I just don't know how I would be able to tell her this


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    jjhilton,

    Just tell her. It's that simple. No one could hold a candle to my love and if I didn't take that leap of faith, I would not be with him and married to him today and I am so happy I did.


    motnahp 2 years ago

    I ended up writing to "S" last Wednesday and hoping she will both be there and also write back. I gave her two email addresses and a P.O. Box. I found her on twitter and pinterest, but she hasn't been on either one for at least six months. I've yet to find a picture of her. She still seems just out of reach.


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Did you try a "google" search? I found my love on "reunions.com".


    motnahp 2 years ago

    I found a sad post from her on a grandparents site about not being able to see her grandson in NC and being estranged from her daughter for two years after her daughter's marriage. I've Googled until my Googling fingers are numb. "S", unfortunately, has a very common last name and whenever I think I'm making good progress, I end up reading about someone in Australia or linking to a picture of someone of another race. It's been fun and educational, though. One side benefit is that during the last week I have actually grown closer to my wife. Maybe that's what this was al about, anyway. Like your advice said, "look around you". I have and I like what I see. Considering the person I was up until age 25, I think I've done quite well. I'll post again if "S" contacts me. At least I know that contacting her daughter in NC would've been a bad move.


    motnahp 2 years ago

    Still no reply of any kind from "S". I hate to think receiving the letter may have upset her (or a husband), but I saw no other feasible way to reach out. If only she could read the posts here. There are some wonderful stories. The letter I sent was to the tune of keeping in touch and catching up on what's happened in 30+ years, but it may have simply been too weird after so long.

    There will be a positive outcome no matter what. This sitaution has made me more aware of who I am and what I already have. I've felt much closer to my wife since I started this search. If "S" and I are meant to connect, it will happen. If not, I've already been blessed many times over and experienced happiness I never thought I could. Though my thoughts and emotions appear to have been misguided, the process has been both refreshing and a little exciting.


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    As I said in some of my other repys, EVERYTHING happens for a reason. This may be what you needed all along to strengthen what you have now. So happy to hear your positive thoughts.


    Shadey's Angel 2 years ago

    I was questioning whether I should go back to my lost love of 15 years but now I know these kind of things only come along once, he looked for me his entire relationship and I know I love him still......thanks for the advice


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Hi Shadey's Angel,

    Go for it. That's all I can say.

    Good luck!


    benyf profile image

    benyf 2 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

    Shadey's Angel, go for it. After I read all the testimonies on this page, I decided to give my high school sweetheart a chance after 15 years. Things didn't go so well at first, but now he is surprisingly coming back around and speaking of marriage, I just have not said yes yet because I want a formal proposal...but it is coming...So, follow your heart.


    lost juliet 2 years ago

    thanks mickthetech..

    im just hoping that the feeling is mutual. he once read my msgs and was able to response before.. but ryt now he was busy and still committed to someone.. and it really painful.. i really want to see him..hug him..kiss him and be with him for the rest of my life. though.. like wht uve said i will wait for him to come back nd for the right time to come..

    i cnt explain the feeling..bt deep within me i knw that he is my destiny..:)

    thanks and more blessings to come..:)


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Dear lost juliet, you don't have to explain the feeling. I know it. I lived it.

    I wish you all the best.


    jRod12 2 years ago

    This May help others.

    I am married. Coming up one year. So we have always fought over way too much. The relationship started off small but was a comfort zone go to. We parted 3 times and reunited 3 times.

    This marriage while I have not put 110% into I have worked for painstakingly. My wife has never had a real job in her life. I am gone all hours of the day working. It just reaches a plan where you don't even want to have sex with the person because you constantly work and she never cleans or cooks a single dinner. That is also my job.

    A few weeks backs I started thinking about the girl that had gotten away from me a couple years ago. We are best friends. Did it all together. We never kissed or anything. We were just close in our hearts in love.

    She cut me off suddenly and stopped speaking to me. Next thing she is in a relationship with a handsome guy with a great job considering her great beauty. Hell we worked fast food together.

    She is always in my thoughts and feelings. She was that one I really wanted after a number of failed relationships, but my attitude didn't stick to hers. She got deep into Heroin and I cried for her in my heart. We lost each other. She eventually got clean, I kept up on her condition through our mutual friends.

    My brother is a salesman, he calls me one day and says "hey do you know a girl named "her name"?. I said "yeah why"? He said ,"I just met her and her boyfriend, but she wouldn't stop looking at me. For about 40 minutes she was fixed on my face". I said what did you do brother. He said she was creeping him out.

    Finally she leaps and says,"Are you related to a guy named "my name"? My brother finally got it and felt at ease. He said,"He is my younger brother". My brother said she looked she had seen a ghost. I didnt know what to say, we are great friends who lost each other in the worst of ways over a Heroin addiction.

    So, fast forward a year later to now she messaged me wanting to talk. Unlike her in every respect. We don't talk, we are face to face people. I told her I didn't have the time I was too busy. She knows I am married. I wrote her a long email stating that I will never stop loving her and that she is the love in my heart. I told her I was happy for her happiness. I never heard back until a week ago. It was a six month gap.

    She wanted to meet. I cant I am accountable to a wife that I love as much as I despise our relationship. It is not what I signed up for. I made the snap decision and went to see her. She could not believe I showed up. We spent two hours together before I left. Not a day had passed after 680 days.

    Before I left I said, "Do not lose me again, 2 years is a big wait for dinner". She agreed and I left. I did not reach out to her because I let her go in my letter where I told her I loved her. She reached out to me. Surely she means for us to pick up where we were interrupted. Neither of us are happy. Together time stands still and love is present.


    jax 2 years ago

    Hi there,

    I am about to fly out and meet my lost love from 22 years ago. We have mailed and phoned each other more than once a day for the last 3 months. Our love never died and has grown into something neither of us can describe. The most beautiful love I could imagine. I am stuck in a marriage that I have hated for so long and will be going through the process to end it. Mickthetech, how did you tell your husband when you wanted to be with the love of your life. Any advice will be welcome, I have let 22 years of love go by and I do not want to waste any more time than I have to in order to be truly happy. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Dear Jax,

    I told my ex that I was not happy and I was tired of him saying he was sorry and changing for a month and going back to the way he was. I knew that he would beg and cry if I told him I would give him another chance so I just came out and told him I wanted a divorce. He did beg and cry but much to my surprise he married after 3 months of our divorce. I didn't want to let another day go by of being unhappy and not taking that leap of faith and being unhappy. I was tired of doing for everyone else but myself. I just came right out and told him. What I was going to do after our divorce was not his concern as far as I was concerned. After all, it was my life. I have to tell you that I did hurt others in my family as well but they all realized why I did what I did and are now very happy with the decision I made. I wish you much luck and love. Please keep me posted.


    jax 2 years ago

    Thank you so much for replying. I feel like I am reading my own life through your words. I have reached that point in life where all I want is to love and be loved... so simple. I fly to my love on Friday for 2 weeks and will have divorce proceedings moving before I get back. I know I have hurt people and lives have been affected but as you say, my entire life has always been about others. I am so crazy excited to be reunited with my true love and am counting down the hours. It's so good to read your story and others, we are not alone and I look forward to posting an update in 2 weeks. Thank you for creating this page, it has been a big support and inspiration so far


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Jax,

    I wish you all the luck. I know the butterflies I felt the first time I heard his voice after so many years and how I felt the first time I flew to spend a week with him. I will admit the first few months were good and bad. Mostly good though as we both had lived so different lives but in the end we both realized how much we loved and needed each other and compromised. We are truly a happily ever after couple. I can't wait to hear from you.


    jjhilton 2 years ago

    An update on myself, for anyone else who lost contact overnight without a chance to say bye, and wasn't able to move on, I gave her this link right after my last post and it did make her cry knowing how much she has always ment to me, we have decided to remain just best friends that way we do not destroy what we have again, she is working things out with her husband and I for the first time in 19 years am looking for love instead of just settling for less, and I am finally happy knowing she is as well and is being treated the the jewel she has always been to me. Who knows maybe in 10 years we will both find ourselves alone and want to reconnect then 30 seems to be the magical number of years


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    jjhilton,

    This post made me smile. Hey, as you said. Who knows what the future holds for us. I'm glad you can be friends. At least you won't lose each other again.


    jjhilton 2 years ago

    You right we won't lose each other again. 19+ years was to long to wait to say hi and ask what happened although she knew shortly after. Its crazy how close we were as far as location I bet we crossed each others paths in our teens but were to busy looking someplace else instead of looking at what was in plane sight, and yet here we are 1100 and 2500 miles away from our lastplace of ccontact and she found me even when I didn't want to be found by most people, that is something amazing on its on


    gertaaffe 2 years ago

    Hi.. I need advice. I got in touch with my ex of 23 yrs. I dumped him due to family pressure. He only texts of Facebook and puts off all hints for me to visit him, or he to visit me. He says he still has feelings. He won't talk on the phone or ask about my family. He has "ghosted" twice in the past 5 months. I think my last message to him may have sounded like a goodbye as I told him I will always love him but this is a fantasy, he has no intention of us ever meeting up or changing his lifestyle. That I love him and will always love him. I KNOW I broke his heart but I was oly 21.

    Am I wasting my time here ?

    thanks


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    geraaffe,

    If you really feel like this is the one that got away and think there is a chance then come straight out and tell him how you feel. Don't hint. That doesn't seem to work with some guys lol. Give him a chance to know what is on your mind. Then if he doesn't respond you know where you stand. Message him if you have to so no one can see but him. Good luck. Keep me posted.


    gertaaffe 2 years ago

    Hi.. I have just given up ! I found out my ex has uploaded a POF profile witha pic I took of him and a mate 22 years ago. I sent this pic t him at Xmas so I know it is a recent join of the dating site. He is "looking for her" and "seeking a relationship" so I gather after all..... I WAS NOT THE ONE. I find it hilarious I believed all his shite talk of love. Oh well. Have "unfriended" him on FB and deleted pics. His loss. At least I can move on from the pipe dream now of 23 yrs ago ! What's the odds wanker will still be in touch at some stage !


    September Saphire 2 years ago

    I'm going to call "him" Donnie for now.....

    I wanted to post a note to my story:

    In January 2014, I found an old mood ring I had gotten for grand kinds and put it on. It turned dark and stayed that way. Maybe a little green but mostly black.

    BUT, when I finally took my first LEAP & sent Donnie a Facebook message because ONE mutual friend had be-friended him (long story), it started us chatting in February. (If only we would have had cell phones & Facebook 30years ago. Lol) The mood ring turned BRIGHT VIOLET BLUE in February & stayed that way!

    June (his birth month) has a choice of three birthstones, moonstone, pearl or alexandrite. I found an alexandrite ring on Etsy that was violet blue to match the mood ring color. ( ◠‿◠ ) bought it to celebrate this new season in life.


    Pastlovefound 2 years ago

    I was 15 and fell in love - real love. He and i had a whirlwind romance and he was my first. His parents were divorced and he went back to his dads in another state to finish school. We said goodbye and kept in touch on and off til i was 18. We always had a connection and a sexual pull... Fast forward i am now 37 in a marriage i hate with 2 kids and am finding it hard to leave its complicated. I found him on fb and we automatically connected again and have been talking texting and he has been there for me in a way no other has thro some of my bad times... We both admit there are feelings and still a sexual pull... Its been almost four months... Problem is im married and thats complicated and he lives 2000 miles away He is separated and has 4 kids and i have 2 kids We both agree we would be good together and are taking it one day at a time I cant move to him with my kids and he wont come back to my state cuz he hates it and i cant blame him as i hate it too lol We both know if we see each other all bets are off and we are in bed as we always wound up there lmao and oh boy it was always good He says i was the one who got away And i say he is the one i always wanted and waited for Its been 20+ years and man oh man the feelings are still there and growing from puppy young love to real adult love with a friendship and real love My husband knows im not happy but now tries to make it work but my feelings have long been gone and im just going thru motions Hard to leave with no job to support me and kids and even tho im lookin for one its still hard and i am told im not allowed to work Its a mess but with dreams fantasies and him listening and being here for me its easier


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Dear pastlovefound,

    OMG. You just wrote my life story here. It was like reliving it all over again. The difference is I did not have small children and I did move to him without a job. I was in an unhappy marriage and had to make a decision to stay unhappy or live for me. It took me a year to find a job but I cashed in my 401k and lived off of it and he helped me as much as he could. Then I found a job. I couldn't be happier being with my one and only love.


    Aussilove 2 years ago

    So I have a bit of a different story , 5 years ago I left Australia after meeting the guy of my dreams on the very last day , we danced and stayed up all night untill sunrise watching the dolphins in the bay ( this sounds like something from a movie but I can assure you it's true ) it was love and we didn't want to waist a second before I had to go. When I gt bk to the uk we messaged and even called once or twice however the distance fizzled us apart. 5 years on I have a lovley bf and from Facebook I can see that he is now engaged. We messege once or twice on Facebook about 3 years. Ago however shortly after I was blocked ( think this could of been the gf) over these 5 years not a day has gone past where I haven't thought about him. I feel selfish and stupid. I casually checked Facebook which seems to show him on there again. It will allow me to messege him but not add as friend it also says that he is coming to England . I am in a very good relationship however this niggling feeling in my heart wants to just talk to him again . Should I messege him ?


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Aussilove,

    If he still has your number he will message you if he wants to. I think that if you are both in good relationships then you should leave things be. There is a reason for everything and if you reconnecting with him will cause the ones you love to get hurt then I suggest that you don't. I know how you feel. I too couldn't get my guy off my mind for 30 years and so wanted to find him but I didn't do it but fate had it that we got back together after all those years. It was meant to be. Everything happens for a reason and what will be will be. But that's my opinion. Now you have to do what you feel is right.


    jfox143 2 years ago

    I was in the 7th grade and moved from Northern California down to southern California. Talk about a culture shock, our middle school had 50 kids in it, there it was about 200-300 kids in both the 7th and 8th grade. There were sooooo many people there I was pretty nervous, but have always been good at making friends so wasn't overly concerned. In that school, you had 'teams' so about 30 or so kids were on a team and had every single class together. But, P.E classes they'd combine 2 'teams.' That's where I met max. We had one class together and I'd never see him other than that. I watched him from afar for a while and then seen him get In a fight. The little school I was from you got a slap on your wrist and put on separate ends of the yard, so I couldn't really understand why max was gone for a whole week! And I didn't want to ask anyone. He eventually came back after the week and I continued to stare. Then a few days later decided talking to him about his fight would be my chance to get it in. And there it started. The spark to my fire. We talked and talked and talked, called each other as soon as we'd come home and and talk for hours. We were boyfriend and girlfriend for a while, then for some reason I couldn't even tell you, we broke up. We still had P.E together and talked every once in a while but not much. Eventually I moved back up to nor cal, still in the 7th grade. I never forgot about him.

    I had another boyfriend, Justin in the 8th grade, then we broke up.

    My freshman year of high school I called my aunt who still lived down there and asked her to look his number up in the phone book. I called, and we talked for a while and it was amazing. Then we lost touch again.

    Justin and got back together our sophomore year of high school, we were 15. I got pregnant at 16, and we were together till just before I turned 21. And again I searched for max. We'd talk for a little bit then lost touch.

    I was engaged and thought I was happy,until I really listened to my heart and knew I couldn't get married unless I seen or heard from max again. Before I even talked to him, I broke off the engagement. If I still felt like that for max after all this time I shouldn't be pulling someone else through the drag. I got ahold of Max and we talked for about a month non stop. Then lost contact once again. But every time we talked it was amazing. I've told him more than anyone who is my daily life. I think about him when I hear certain songs or just little things would happen. I stayed single for a long time, no one could compare to Max, even though we'd barley ever even kissed (we were babies) lol. Finally, he reached out to me on fb. We've never let each other go, I've never loved someone like I love Max. He planned already to move to chico, and just wanted to let me know. We haven't stopped talking since then. We call each other like 5 times a day and Skype every night. I have about a month till he comes. He said he was going to move up here first then contact me, but I'm glad he didn't wait. I haven't seen Max in 9 years, and after all this time, I still get the butterflies when I think of him, or remember the good olé days, see his name come on my phone.

    I don't know what it is about him that could make me feel this way, I could even get married to someone else because of Max and at that point it had probably been a year since I talked to him last, but I just know, and he knows, we're meant to be together. I'm just glad we didn't have wait 20 plus years to figure it out.

    The count down is on until he gets here, my happily ever after has started.

    Thank you for this post, I read each and every single story, some hopeful, some not so much. But you have a beautiful story, and I love telling mine about Max, the ONE constant person who had been so inconsistently in my life. He was always in my heart, always on my mind. And I'll never lose touch with him again. The spark may have been dulled, but only for lack of communication. Every time we talked it lit back again, if you were to See me today, my eyes and soul are the most illuminated I've ever felt.


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Dear jfox,

    I can see your face cause that is what I saw when I looked in the mirror almost 5 years ago. I'm so happy for you. You were meant to be. Please keep me posted. Good luck. So happy for you.


    Rebbeca 2 years ago

    This is the first time i read these story's,it makes me realize that i'm not the only one feeling this way.


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    No Rebbeca you are not alone. You would be surprised how many people are or were in the same shoes. There are such things as fairy tails and happy endings.


    jjhilton 2 years ago

    No Rebbeca your not, sometimes its a good ending, sometimes its a heartbreaking one, and sometimes its an amazing ending, even with myself I'm thrilled to have first love back in my life even if we are just friends and nothing more


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    You all make me smile when I read your posts. Honestly I thought I was alone in all this. I am so surprised to see how many of you share my story.


    jax 2 years ago

    Hi there from one super happy wonderfully excitedly over the moon in love lady. I wrote earlier about an impending trip to meet up with someone I lost my heart to 22 years ago. A quick recap, we lost touch and in February he came back into my life. We mailed and called and in May I was on a plane to fly 11000 miles to see him again. I have returned and am in the process of packing and selling and getting ready to return to the man who stole my heart and soul all those years ago. The gap of 22 years was simply non existent when we met up again. We discovered the love we had then and intensified to such proportion that I want to shout it from the roof tops. Thank you so much for this page and allowing me a space to share the most incredible moment of my life time. I could not be more happy, loved and loving


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Dear Jax,

    I love a happy ending. Good luck. Keep us all posted here. I hope your story ends up like mine.

    Love is a beautiful thing isn't it.


    sl 2 years ago

    What the hell was that


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    They keep posting this spellcaster to my blog and I keep deleting it. If you need spells you don't need the man. lol.


    karen 2 years ago

    I can't believe I found your story. So similar in ways to my life. I have been married for 27 years to a great guy that would do anything for me and has our whole life together. That's the problem, I'm not sure why I would want to leave him. I have learned to love him, I think. My old boyfriend just recently got a divorce. I know this because my parents stayed in touch with him. I looked him up on Facebook and he accepted my request. Haven't heard from him he is never on. I often wonder if I should pursue him? Wow what to do? So many questions....


    Drew 2 years ago

    MicktheTech...

    I have a uniquely bad situation. I am one year into marriage. I love my wife, but understand we probably should not be married. We were high school sweet hearts. We moved in together at age 22. That blew up and she moved out. That should have been the end of it but we worked things out bc of "love" and we never broke up again. It was the types of incidents that led to that event that were so bad. They have repeated themselves plenty of times in the recent past. She gave me the marriage ultimatum. I went along. Hell I worked hard to keep her that far

    Now on our wedding night the kinda stuff she said to me was out of line. My thought was,'I cant believe I married this woman'. Well one whole year later, I've been through brain surgery and trauma, last week my first best friend in my life reaches out to me. She and I were attached to the hip as kids. After I moved out of the area we stopped seeing each other until we stopped altogether. We lived on the same street. The house is still owned by my family. Our tenants are family. Last week she approaches the door and asks the person living there if they know who I am. The person says yes and she gave them her number. We have talked for two weeks.

    She planned a trip around where I live for a weekend getaway, but my lovely wife planned a two week vacation in Colorado I didn't even want to and still dont want to go to at the same time.

    I wasnt planning on leaving or cheating everyone. I want to see my best friend after 15 years separation. I am playing a fair game with my wife, but she now controls my every last aspect, move, and interaction. If I could go go back I would have walked away from her, but I cant just pack my bags and walk out? Can someone give me there thoughts. My beautiful best friend after 15 years came looking for me but is now jaded at the prospect that I am married

    She clearly does not know what to do other than protect herself from further heartbreak. Please give advice. I really need it. Drew.


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Dear Drew,

    It is difficult to give advice here but to say that you have to follow your heart. If you go away with your wife do you think it will make your marriage stronger or just prolong agony? Is it more important to work things out with your wife or see your best friend and maybe lose what you have now? These are all questions you have to ask yourself and then make a decision. I can only say that sometimes you do not get a second chance in whichever way you decide and life is short. People may get upset but everyone gets over it sooner or later. You have to wake up with yourself every morning and look in the mirror and like what you see. Follow your heart Drew and the rest will fall into place. Good luck.


    Alex 2 years ago

    Hi Mick-- so happy that I stumbled upon this as I was searching google. Your story is inspiring and it's so good to see that your still happy about your decision.

    My story:I met a guy on AOL 18 years ago when we were teens. We corresponded as just friends via email for years. My email addresses have changed so much but he always managed to get back in touch with me even if we hadn't talked for a year or two. One time he sent an email to an old college email account that I never, ever checked but when I re-enrolled at that school two yrs later they gave me the same address - in it was an email from him that was sent two months prior. We always talked about our lives and the things we were going through. We talked for another three years as friends and then my relationship with my bf got serious and he didn't want me talking to the guy so I stopped. I ended up marrying my boyfriend. He started using drugs and became abusive. I moved out of our home and in my loneliness decided to reach out to my old friend. He responded with his number. I called him and we talked for hours. A few days later I moved back into my home with my husband. I still communicated with my friend daily and after 2 months he told me that he loved me and had for years but didn't know how to tell me that since we had never met. He lives 14 hrs away from me but the following month I went to see him. It was never awkward it was as if we had known each other physically for years. He was all that I expected him to be. That first encounter was in 2011. I have seen him 3 more times since then. My marriage has been a rocky nightmare. My Husband finally stopped using illegal drugs (but now takes things that are not yet illegal -Kratom) and he isn't abusive (although he is still mean from time to time). My heart loves my friend of 18 yrs and he has expressed his desire to be with me continuously since we met. I want to step out of faith but I'm scared of leaving my marriage. I don't know why maybe it's because things are getting better. I'm not in love with my husband. I care for him and want him to have a good life but I have been an enabler and codependent person for so long. I almost fear that my online friend would turn into my husband.


    neenaof2 2 years ago

    I NEED some advice PLEASE


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Neenaof2,

    What do you need advice with?


    jade 2 years ago

    Recently have been thinking of my ex bf and want to contact him but not successful. I just want to say sorry for we broke up 16 years ago and parted our own ways without even settling some relationship issues and not coming to good terms.


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Hi Jade,

    Do a google search. I found mine through google which took me to reunions.com. He wasn't signed up with FB at the time but his pic came up. Good luck.


    jjhilton 2 years ago

    I'm now in a unique situation now, due to things happening in my life it has brought me back to Ohio, about a week ago her ex moved back to Ohio with the kids, things are still iffy with her husband. We have gotten to the point of not trying to hide us talking. We have got family and friends on both sides telling us to be prepared for something amazing to happen with us since there is no way we could of gotten together any other way, without both of us needing a reason to move back, we have also been told I'm here getting things ready. My question is this, is there a chance they may be right and we are not seeing it yet, and if everyone is right how will we know when the time is right


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Dear jjhilton,

    You will know when the time is right when that time comes. It took me a little bit of time to realize this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with although we were engaged I wouldn't commit to marrying him but one Monday as I was working I went home and said, "we are getting married this Thursday". So I guess that was the right time and we did. Been happy ever since. Just follow your hearts.


    Reese 2 years ago

    I too have found my happily ever after again...after 16 years of bad decisions.

    I am 35 now. I've known the love of my life since I was 8. He was 10 at the time. His parents were related to my mom's co-worker so growing up we both attended a lot of family gatherings together, maybe once or twice a year. I looked forward to each gathering because by the time I was 10 I had a huge crush on him. There were other kids there but somehow we always ended off on our own, playing hide and seek or cards or video games. We just "clicked". I had a feeling by the time that I was 13 that he might have feelings for me too but I was always too afraid to say anything. I went on to high school and continued to doodle his name in every notebook that I had...with hearts around it of course...lol. I continued to attend the bi yearly gatherings with hopes that something would develop, but not a word. I ended up going out with someone from my high school during my junior/senior year and stopped attending the gatherings because of it. When I graduated from high school my mom threw a party for me and invited all of her friends. HE showed up to the party! I was so happy to see him but torn because my THEN boyfriend was off at bootcamp. I exchanged phone numbers with my crush and we talked a couple times on the phone but when he asked I turned him down because I was in a relationship : / it was all so traumatizing to me because it was the hardest decision i ever had to make. After a couple attempts he went on and lived his life and I did the same. I ran into him on a couple occasions, one of which I was with my THEN boyfriend and didn't say a word to the crush. I knew that if I did I would let him into my life and I didn't want to hurt my boyfriend at the time. I ended up marrying my boyfriend and having a son, only to find out a year later that he was cheating on me. Trying to keep my family together I took him back to find out a year and a half later that he was cheating on me again. I moved out with my son, asked my mom about my Crush, only

    To find out that he had married 3 months prior. : ( once again I moved on with my life and got married on the rebound to someone that I loved but was not in love with.

    About 6 or 7 years ago my crush's cousin ended up working at the same company that I worked at. Because his cousin knew my parents, my parents and I ended up getting invited to his cousin's brother's wedding which I attended with my THEN husband. I remembered getting dressed up for this event because I knew my crush would be there. When I saw him, with his two children and wife, I couldn't do anything but hide. I knew that if I said hi that we would end up starting something that we couldn't finish because we were both married. I had two children after this, trying to convince myself that being is a safe but loveless marriage was the right thing to do for me. 4 years later I realized that I was depressed and that the best thing I could do

    For my 3 children was to be happy so that I could make them happy. I left my husband. Two years after my separation, my crush's cousin ended up getting married and invited myself

    and former

    Co workers to attend the reception. I saw him as soon as I walked in the door but managed to avoid him almost the entire night. That is until

    One of my best friends walked right up

    To him and asked him if he saw me and if he'd said hello. He replied that he saw me but didn't say hello, then he dropped his head ashamed and walked right over to me...turns out he was going through a divorce too. We have been inseparable ever since and that was almost a year ago.

    I was inspired by all

    Of the stories and just wanted to share mine. Happily ever after does exist and if things are meant to be, they inevitably find a way to happen.


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Reese,

    Yes absolutely that what's meant to be will always find a way. I'm so happy for you.


    Reese 2 years ago

    Thanks! Very happy for you as well!


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Dear SMSmith,

    I too left my family, daughter and grandbabies but surprisingly my daughter moved closer to me. Just make sure that his intentions are that he is ready to give up the one he has now for you. It took me 1 year before I was willing to commit despite my love for my man. I did marry ultimately but I had to be sure for both of us. We are both glad we did. Good luck. I hope it all works out for you. Let us know how it goes.


    Nathan 2 years ago

    I was recently involved in an automobile accident and had split my head open and my shoulder, and was in the hospital for two months. Previously before that, I had been dating many girls but nothing ever worked out. I reached a point where I gave up. Then the accident happened. After I got out of the hospital, due to the time in there, I was forced to move back to my old home. I have worked very hard in my recovery and thankfully I have recovered. As I was going around trying to work with bills that I had I walked into my phone store. When I got inside I sat down and talked with an associate there. To my surprise I saw a girl working there and thought I knew her but could not make out where, and then she came up to me and I could not believe who it was. It was a girl that I had gone to school with and we had spent a lot of time together studying. We both had crushes on each other, but after school I had to move to a new city and lost connection. Amazingly, she told me that I must not ever lose contact again with her and gave me her phone number. She also comforted me after I told her about my wreck. I have never been married, but I have found out she is going through a horrible divorce. At this point, I am just happy to have seen her and I believe it is a miracle. I am not going to rush anything, in fact I am just going to let things happen. Whatever happens, it will be okay, even if we never get together romantically I am just thankful after my wreck for having the chance to talk to her and I am thankful for how comforting and how good of a friend she has been to me since I saw her again.


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Nathan,

    As I have said in many of my comments here....everything happens for a reason. Good luck.


    Gustavo523 2 years ago

    Everything that HAS happened in your life, everything that IS happening in your life, and everything that WILL happen in your life...is happening for a reason!


    Drew 2 years ago

    Hello Mick....

    I looked at your advice and I made the decision I did. I went on vacation with my In Laws and Wife. Belief me when I say, I was this close (two fingers close together) from not going. My wife acts like a complete ass. The reason I should have not gone on vacation to stay with my long lost friend.

    My friend freshly divorced is already "hanging out" (seeing regularly) a friend of her newly divorced husband. She changed her plans on me a few times. I tested the water to see how hot it got for a reaction. She was hot, then cold, then lukewarm, then hot again (didnt expect it). Now she appears to be a respective warm in regards to the fact that I am married which seemed to let her down. She missed by 14 months. Too bad.

    So I will be going to see her for a few hours on Saturday because that is what she offered me. Begger cant demand. I have decided to back off and let be what will. My family told me to divorce my wife because of her and not someone else. I agree my wife has earned the right to be divorced from me.

    The bottom line being I gave her up a long time ago. Almost forgot about her and our young years were very special. She has said plenty of wonderful things to me about being afraid to see me again. Im glad to have her back. I hope I dont lose her again. I should not either.

    However my wife has been acting extremely nice as of late. When we are at home she is a pest that does not contribute and neglects me. Most sensible people would be gone, but our time together has been great and terrible. Afraid to say the good times are probably all but gone. She wants supreme control over what happens to me the rest of my life.

    You can probably see I made the wrong choice. I have had a lovely Colorado vacation and my In Laws are wonderful people. I just wanted to check in with you and I will let you know how things go. Thank you for your initial intuitive advice. You were right. I had a old time at the expense of me enduring my wife and her demands. Thanks again.

    Drew


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Drew,

    Yes you said it all when you said let what will be. If it's meant for you to be together it will. As for your wife, I was in the same boat. I got divorced for me not my long lost love. It was 23 years of marriage and I had to make a decision to throw that all away and be happy with my new love or alone or stay and be miserable. In the end, I made the right decision for ME not anyone else. Good luck in whatever you decide and yes please keep us all posted.


    Maly 2 years ago

    I never truly been depressed before, but now I am so very lost. I have been looking for my first love for over 26 years. We were in college together and I transferred to another University my Junior year. We kept in touch via snail mail for 7 months--always ending our letters with LOVE followed by our name. After a horrific fire that burned all my pictures and all my other belongings, it took me 5 months to gather enough money to head home to visit Jonathon. To my surprise he had moved. I hired the 1st of 4 investigative teams soon after my visit home--with no results. The 2nd team found his father's information--whom I called immediately, but all he told me was that his son was marrying and I should leave him be. Happy that he had found happiness--I told his dad that I simply wanted to thank him for his kindness. You see he and I never consummated anything, nor did we even hold hands or hug. I was screwed up (intense fear of being touched) resulted after years of sexual violent abuse. But he understood and accepted me and my fears. He was the first person to ever tell me he loved me (even if in only a letter), so in my heart I promised that one day I would hug him and tell him how much I appreciated him. I make attempts every 3 to 4 years to search. AND I THINK I FOUND HIM. BUT YOU SEE THE SOCIAL MEDIA NETWORK SAYS HE IS NOW DECEASED at 52. Even though I hadn't found him I always believed that I would see him one day, and now I'm not only at a loss- my heart is lost.


    Drew 2 years ago

    Mick...

    Finally back home after a long time out of town.

    To update you. I met up with my long lost best friend. The situation kept changing. In the end she offered me 5 hours of her time. Kicker, was she brought along a friend. So she wasn't sure if she could fully trust me. We had a good time, lunch, and enjoyed meeting her friend. The friend finally left leaving us time to talk one on one. She was candid that she is involved with this other friend of hers (I'm sure sexually). She has a lot of angst towards her cheating husband and I can see how she is acting after her marriage fell to pieces.

    To be clear I was not reaching out to her, as I have not been in contact with her over 7 years. She approached my family to re establish contact with me. As good old friends I felt it was good that I keep a far distance from her new life and marriage. I was never attracted to her when we were kids. I always loved her. I told her that when we were together. She said the same to me, except she may have liked when we were kids. Not sure. Before I left she made two statements after I told her my current situation. She said:

    "Drew, that is not you. I don't understand why you choose to live this way. If your wife if is this harsh to you, please don't get her pregnant. You will always have to stay connected to her. You got to learn to cut your losses".

    She also said:

    "If things don't work out between you and your wife"

    I looked into her eyes and she stopped talking. I read the rest of her sentence on her face. It was an open ended sentence.

    I told her, "you will be seeing me". She was nothing I was thinking she might be but she is uniquely my friend, the one I always loved and walked to class 18 years ago. I love her like I did then. She is still the same person. We had good moments on Saturday.

    Just thought you should know. It was 15 years, since our last meeting and long overdue. Hope this leads to good things. Thanks again Mick. Drew


    kismet13 2 years ago

    Hi mickthe tech, hi all.. well it's kind of funny but i was in a thrift store, savers getting my older son some clothes for his birthday when a big crystal heart on a pendant caught my eye. I joked with my sons that i need love, i found my love.. well that was July 10th of this year. I had no idea that exactly 7 days later while just thinking about my past and theone guy that was really good to that after 22 years i would fund him! i sent him a message heard nothing back then sent a friend request & he added me. I was so happy then i became apprehensivebecause he states that he is engaged on there and has pix of him, her & their children. i have never stopped thinking about him all these years since summer of 1991 where we spent 6 very intense weeks together & he ended up being my 1st time & my first love.. i glowed & was very happy. i don't think n no matter how much i tried that i was ever that happy with any of my subsequents boyfriends. But in1992 i messed up, i was in the army and i wrote him telling him i was gioing to get married.. big mistake.. well i didn't get married & when i tried to write him he sent tghe letter back return to sender. I really hurt him. ten in 2005 i saw him in the grocery store in my hometown and instead of talking to him i ignored him becuz my boyfriend at the time's daughter had died of leukemia the previous year & i was trying to be a loving & loyal girlfriend. i could kick myself cuz that relationship didn't work out either. so now i wrote him & basically declared my feelings for him but becuz he is engaged i was very respectful with what i said but couldn't help telling him that i love him and always will. i just don';t understand why or how after all these years that 6 weeks made such an impression on me & i have never found that connection & deep caring since not even with my sons's fathers. but i feel like an idiot declaring my feelings to him when i might not mean anything to him anymore.. i just know i love him 7 want him to be happy. and maybe he'll say something or cut me off i don';t know but this page has given me hope & i will keep you posted.. long live & hooray for true love!!!


    Drew 2 years ago

    Mick,

    Made it back home. Now an update:

    After getting back to home base, I wrapped things up with my In Laws and went to stay with my cousin in the city. Had a good time seeing my cousin; her and her husband were more than hospitable to me. In contact with my long lost friend, we agreed to meet Saturday morning @11am.

    It was her weekend off from the kids (Lucky Me). Woke up and she dropped a brick on our "plans". She told me her friend was accompanying us on our day out. I kinda didn't like that, I mean we were attached to the hip as children always us two alone. The thing being I never had any attraction to her when we were younger. I think I did not know what real beauty was then, and young boys are shallow as are many of their older counterparts.

    Looking back I didn't think she was much pretty at all, probably why we made such great friends(never distracted by beauty). After we reconnected I saw she had blossomed into a bombshell. That actually made me nervous. She has the body of a woman I have hardly ever dated.

    Continuing forward. I drove to meet her. Got there. Gave her a big hug. However after that she treated me like the plague because she feels I am off-limits. She was candid that she is seeing her other friend, though it is nothing "serious". Then her friend arrived.

    So we went downtown. Had lunch, spent the day talking even though her friend got as much face time with her as I did (not fair). I would normally feel deeply offended about that sort of thing, but it was that or bust. We actually had a good time. A few times I saw that same old person I always knew and it made feel good that she is still the same. Tell me I am wrong: I'm almost sure the friend came with us on purpose because of the situation.

    I haven't lived in the city for 7 years. I moved. Turned out I knew my way around more than they did. So we did several cool things and we finally made our way back to her house. With old girlfriends I always felt like the destination was always the end (Period), but I didn't feel weird about this time.

    We got out and the moment happened: her friend left. So we finally sat down and talked one to one. She walked through the details of how her divorce is playing out. I got to see her angry side. Intense. Then again I see it as her way of protecting herself from fear.

    I'm not sure how we reached our conclusion. I told her about how messed up my marriage is right now and all. I stopped and then asked what she thought. She said, "I don't have an opinion. I can't believe you would like that Andrew, we both know you are better than that". We wrapped it up and stood up.

    Closing moment when people say goodbye, she looked me in the eyes and said, "Well, if you and your wife........(long pause).......you know where I am now". She walked inside her house as I said goodbye and acknowledged her statement.

    That was the end of our first meeting in 15 years. I am actually very pleased with seeing her and am attracted to my best friend. So hope you enjoyed this update. Thanks. Drew


    Drew 2 years ago

    Mick,

    I left out an important detail. The friend that came with us was not the guy she has been seeing, but a girlfriend of hers. I believe her girlfriend would keep her in perspective if anything unexpected came up. Since it was a pleasant meeting and I got along with her friend, I think all went well.

    She likes the guy friend she is seeing, but you know, I don't care about that. He can have her all he wants because when I become available I get that feeling she will be too.

    Sorry for confusion.

    Drew


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Drew,

    Somehow I get that feeling too. Good luck.

    Mick


    kismet13 2 years ago

    I'm just wondering why no one commented on what i wrote about my first love from 3 days ago. I would also like some advice from Mickthetech or any of you.. thank you & i will be waiting, and oh btw i'm not 13 i was born on the 13th of a month..it's one of my lucky numbers.. sincerely, kismet13


    julie 2 years ago

    I am so glad to have found this page n b able to express what many people dont understand out here. Back in 89 I fell in love with the church drummer of my church/Pastors son. As we dated his family n my dad had conflict due to doctrine. This was enough to turn his family against our relationship. They started to push the secretary of the church on him. The stress his family caused him was great as they no longer wanted him with me because of my dad beliefs. 8 mos later he said he couldn't go on. I heartbroken as I was jumped into a relationship to try to get over the hurt, but that turned into disaster in my life. I had 2 kids n the whole time married I hurted cause I could never get him off my mind or heart. Now in 09, I found him on MySpace. We spoke several times. (he called me) he married the secretary as his family wanted. But his life as not been easy with her either. When we spoke, he reminded me of one of the out most beautiful night we had back in 90 n the gifts n things I had done for him. He, being that we have our Christian beliefs I think is afraid to express how he truly feels. He stopped calling me a yr ago. I have been separated for 2 yrs now n filing a divorce. Lately I have unfriend him on facebook several times but on mothers day once again he friend requested me n send me a message plus asked me for my number. I dont know what to thnk of this. Could it be possible that he still loves me? I have never stopped loving him n have always felt we could've had a great life n ministry together. Everything happens for a reason right? I sometimes think that there will come a day where he'll get tired of all the things he's put thru in his marriage n come looking for me. Am I wrong for such thought? I love him soooo much. N he knows this cause I have let him know. But now on FB I try to hold myself back as much possible to have the least contact possible cause at the end of the day I hurt. I feel we love each other but we were raised to believe that u don't just walk out of marriage, though I have walked out of mine cause I got tired of the abuse from a man I never loved. Could it be possible that finding each other after 16 yrs lead to reunion in future. I believe he loves me as he kept reminding me of how we both felt that one night. Thank u for listening.


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Dear Kismet,

    I read your post here. The only thing I can say is tell him how you feel and leave the rest up to him. He may feel he needs to move on because you ignored him or maybe he is scared of rejection again or maybe even that he is truly in love with this woman. At any rate, you need to tell him just so you have peace of mind. You never know how it will turn out but as I have said and many others here have said, everything happens for a reason and what is meant to be will be. Good luck.


    JustMyImagination 2 years ago

    Wow. So many people get stuck on ... "the one". That one big "What if ?" from the past. I was in love with a great girl before her, and at least one after... but I've often thought of her over the 30 years since then. Eight years ago I saw her. It was on a charity bicycle ride and she was directing traffic at an intersection. She was not a volunteer- I think she was either waiting for someone she knew, or she just saw all these riders coming through and decided to lend a hand. She was that type even back then. I froze. Many times, I imagined I saw her... on the street... in a car... at the store. It was later that I thought about it... and her family's vacation cottage was less than two miles from the intersection I saw her at. I spend 190 miles pedaling over two days and she appeared at THE closest spot to where I knew the family had a place. And I froze. I could not believe it was her. She said something like "Keep going!" (and more)-- but 100's of well-wishers were saying such things. She probably did not recognize me-- 30+ lbs & years later, helmet, sunglasses... but we exchanged huge grins as I rode by & thanked her... like she was an ordinary fan of the ride. I was ecstatic!... and afraid if I went back to say "Hi !!... Remember me?" ... that she would remember, and that the smiles we had exchanged would turn to a puzzled frown as she remembered how clingy I had gotten 25 years before when she broke up with me. So- since that day eight years ago, I look for her on that ride... & think of her even more often.

    Now, six months ago, I stumble upon an obituary. A sibling of hers sadly died. But I knew it was her family, and there was her married name and city she lives in, RIGHT THERE on the computer. Now, I would hate to think of myself as a cyber stalker, but after a few clicks of the mouse, I was looking at a picture of her from just two years ago. YES, it WAS her I saw while on that bike... and another quick search revealed that the old family cottage was now in her name (Oddly, not her married name). I have not been doing more searches since then. Part of me likes to think back to when we were sooo different from who we are now... and how perfect things were... for a short time back then. But part of me just wants to see her smile again. I think about her way too much, dream about her, and wonder how to make it stop. Unlike people 'here', I find it hard to be hopeful about ever doing something about these feelings. Was it "perfect" back then?... or was it just how I remember that too short a time we were together. My wife, who years ago told me she was not "in love" with me anymore, would flip out. Sure, we love each other, and we are partners in this family, this household-- but our kids are grown and out of the house. If my long ago love had ANY idea about my feelings... she would have to think it's some kind of mental illness. Way back when, back in college, she was 100% right-- I had zero direction and a whole lot of growing up to do. If we saw each other, face to face, could I pass off a strong emotional response as just a "wave of nostalgia" washing over me?. I ALREADY feel like I'm overstepping boundaries just by thinking about her! Heck- I even have imaginary talks with her as I walk the dog! I cannot "go for it !" and hope for the best. All I can envision is her being freaked out by an old ex boyfriend that never really let go... and my family !! My wife is always saying I should find someone else, kiddingly... but I know part of her would not mind being single either. We were both pretty young when we married. We were dating less than a year after I had been with the "perfect" one. AgggHHHhh!!.. Since stumbling upon her through that obituary, and finding the recent picture... I'm thinking about her more than ever. It seems like ALL the time. And get this-- Here's an unintended side effect--- BECAUSE I'm thinking of her... and often in a state of imagined happiness, contentment, "Love"... I think my wife is finding me more appealing ! For most of the recent years, I usually feel like I'm in her way. Ohh it's getting more messed up by the day. A long gone girlfriend who has more than likely forgotten me. Me in a cloud of "what if ?" fantasy. And my family with no clue. How can I see past what could easily end as whole pile of embarrassed stupidity?? Any advice on what to do wit these thoughts would be great. Get over my fear? Fix (or end) family/wife problems before doing something stupid?


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Dear JustMyImagination,

    If your wife is telling you to find someone else than she may be wanting you to end things. I too had conversations with myself lol but I acted on it. If you can find her again, just see if she would meet you for a leisure lunch or dinner or even for a drink. See what she has been up to and if she remembers you. Then take it from there. Both me and my lost love were in relationships when we first met. We vowed that even if it was a friendship we would never lose each other again. For us it turned into marriage but you will never know if you don't try. I would love to know how this turns out or what you decide to do. Good luck in whatever you decide.


    JustMyImagination 2 years ago

    Thanks for the encouragement. Part of me says..IF she has any good memories of us together, she could always contact me. I'm not hard to find. But- then again, I often wonder "WHAT IF" she has the same doubts as me... wonders how embarrassing it COULD be for both our families if feelings weren't at all... mutual. I'd like to think we both have fond memories and that a meeting would bring out a wave of nostalgic warm feelings of youth as we caught up with each other-- And really-- I would be fine if we went our separate ways wishing each other well and smiling with that feeling of warm memories and a re-connection. But that could only happen EASILY (hopefully) if it was a chance encounter-- like I should have jumped into when I saw her on the bicycle. It just feels sooo premeditated if I go out of my way to contact her. Agghh... I know I may never get the opportunity for that "chance" encounter again. You, this blog, the other stories make me wonder how far I might go just to find out if something is there. The other thing I am afraid of is that a "bad" result from me directly approaching her.. would put a huge damper on the good memories I do have. Yes, I'm afraid of ruining great memories and feeling... and just have to decide if I would risk that, for the ever so slim chance of finding those feelings again... with the same person. The bad alternative could have her thinking I'm pathetic to be clinging to 30 yr memories...and my life, my family..which is not the 'worst' situation by the way... would have a similar pathetic impression. I do know it will be tough to just keep on hoping for a "chance" encounter. I could increase those chances... but don't want to invade privacy, be a cyber stalker, etc. I'll figure out something. Thanks for the encouragement ... & I'll let you know if anything good or bad ever develops. Thank you.


    LIONESS 2 years ago

    I Am Married Almost 7yrs And Very Unhappy Ever Since I Tried Every Thing To Make It Work And Was Left Crying And Always Hurt.My Husband Even Hit Till I Got Stitches On My Beautiful Face.I Loved Him & And He Never Protected Me As A Husband Should.I Loved Being Self Employed And Had To Close Everything Down Cause His People Envy And Jealous Me Badly They Hurt Me Spiritually Aswell.Only God Knows I Tried Being Faithful I Tried Making My Marriage Work And After All The Tears & Pain Feelings For Him Left Gradually And For Months I Don`t Even Want Him To Touch Me Till In 2013 Oct 19th I Met This Guy On FaceBook God Alone Knows I Felt The Love Connection So Strongly Even Before I Met Him And When I Did The Love & The Passion That We Shared God Knows I Never Felt That Strong Connection With No One Else.I LOVE Him But He Dumped Me Saying I Am Married Etc And We Can`t Be Friends He Wants To Be My Lover.He Deeply Hurt Me Verbally And Now He Living Life Like A Player.I Heard He Aways Lived Like A Player But This Guy Asked Me To Married And I Am Married So Its Complicated But I Still Love Him,Still Dream Him Still Feel Him Strongly As Before.I got Pregnant For Him And Lose It Whilst Under Stress Missing Him And The Times That We Shared.He Acted Heartless Towards Me It Hurt And Made Me Do Stuff I Never Did Before Like Copy & Paste Stuff He Lied About Others And I Also Put Up His Pic On Fb Stating He Is A Player And He Used Me Etc But I Deleted It.But I Still LOVE Him But I Wonder If He`ll Wanna Ever Be With Me In Life Again After I put Him Up On Fb?He May See That As Betrayal But I Was Betrayed By Him Aswell.


    Drew 2 years ago

    Just an update MicktheTech. Things have gotten progressively worse between my wife and I. We almost had a throw down over her college roommate coming to stay who then insulted one of my family members and my wife took her side and not mine.So. I bit my tongue and dealt with the issue after they left.

    My best friend who I have reconnected with after 15 years and have become increasingly close again. Its like we were always together. She keeps asking me to move back to our home town which I happen to live 500 miles away from. My wife is now talking about having a baby and moving somewhere else.

    I have been really stressed over this stuff, but I decided I have terms for our marriage and if they are not important, then I can move on.

    Just wanted to give you the update. I wouldnt move back for my best friend but for me. As much as I love her, she is starting to date and I am not relocate to follow her on her new path. I am just going to stay the course and if things play out alright, then I am all game.

    I do get the feeling that she would put other people aside if she could have me to herself. I do believe that. I just have to respect her current phase since she was trapped in abusive marriage for 6 years.

    Thanks again Mick. DREW.


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Drew,

    I wish you luck in whatever you decide and YES, you have to do whatever you decide for YOU because as I realized when I took that leap of faith that it might not have worked out. I was lucky that it did but I knew that this had to be for me and not anyone else. I think we all deserve to be happy.

    Keep us posted.


    Jenny 2 years ago

    Well I am back. It looks like his wife is getting on with her life! I am still in limbo. He still hasn't responded to my message to even say hi nice to hear from you etc. as I think most people would do. He still hasn't accepted or declined my friend request which now I am wondering if I should just go withdraw the friend request and be done with it as I think if someone were interested they would have at least sent a message. am I just putting my hopes on this and from the outside looking in you are thinking ha he is not interested. Pls tell me what you really think this is about. Am I being a fool and most people thinking forget about it!


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Jenny,

    What I think you should do is before you withdraw the friend request send him another message saying that you will do just that if he doesn't respond and you will let him get on with his life or choose to respond. If he doesn't in a week then go ahead and withdraw. If he wants to get in touch with you after that then he knows what to do. Good luck.


    Jenny 2 years ago

    Well I want to message him but don't want to basically give him an altimatum. I really want to know if you think the fact that he hasn't accepted or declined my friend request means anything? Or is the fact he hasn't done anything speak for itself? I don't understand though that if he didn't want to open up a line of communication he doesn't just decline my request and be done with it? Any ideas of why he wouldn't?


    long lost juliet 2 years ago

    im still here..thinking about. i hve so many things to tell you..but i dnt knw hw to say it.. i missyou..if ur here give me sign.mg... pls.come back..hope to see u in the near future. i wnt to marry and ve with you. love you msg.


    long lost juliet 2 years ago

    im still here..thinking about. i hve so many things to tell you..but i dnt knw hw to say it.. i missyou..if ur here give me sign.mg... pls.come back..hope to see u in the near future. i wnt to marry and ve with you. love you msg.


    Jenny 2 years ago

    Well I still have heard nothing. I did see though that his wife has posted an old family picture of her, him and there kids about 15!years ago. She is still saying that she is single but what can this mean? I'm worried that she is now trying to get him back. I realize this is a hard time for them but just what is she trying to say. And ps. The pic is sort of weird cause nobody looks happy! Please give me your thought s on this. Thanks!


    Jenny 2 years ago

    Hi I'm still hoping someone may have an explanation of why someone would post an old family pic from years ago when you are just recently separated. And no one is smiling in this pic intereStingly enough!


    Jenny 2 years ago

    Ok well it was nice when I found this site but no one seems to want to respond to my queries so I guess mI'm out of here! Good luck everyone in your endeavours to reunite with past loves!


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Hey Jenny,

    I will tell you that my ex recently texted me a picture of me with my family and my first husband who is now deceased. They have a hard time dealing with the loss of their significant other and they are reaching out for hope. It doesn't mean that it will change things. Just don't let these things bother you. If this is meant to be it will happen.


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Hey Jenny,

    I will tell you that my ex recently texted me a picture of me with my family and my first husband who is now deceased. They have a hard time dealing with the loss of their significant other and they are reaching out for hope. It doesn't mean that it will change things. Just don't let these things bother you. If this is meant to be it will happen.


    Dan 2 years ago

    After more than 20 years, I've found my one true love from college but she didnt' know about it. She's happily married with 2 kids already.

    I have a 7 year old daughter too, and separated for 5 years already.

    I need closure, how do I do that? I want to write her a long letter just to have closure. I don't know her contact details, and her facebook and other social media accounts are private.


    Jenny 2 years ago

    Hi I'm back. Still nothing to report except that his "wife" keeps posting family pics of happier days. Haven't had a response back from him since I sent him a friend request. Is it crazy to think that it is good that he hasn't declined my request, he just hasn't accepted my request either. Am I being naive and maybe he has even forgotten that I sent him a fab request? Pls give me your thoughts on this. It's going on close to a year (next February) that her status went to single? If you think I am just being delusional pls tell me so I can get on with my life? Waiting to hear back from you...


    Cynthia9768 2 years ago

    I recently found what I considered my first real love and also the father of my son after over 29 years had passed. It didn't turn out to be as easy as I thought it would be. He has reconnected with our son but he really never loved me. I think in some cases it is better to leave the past in the past as it was in my case. I wasn't looking for love because I am married and relatively happy in that relationship. I was looking for closure. I didn't really get that. What I got was a tearing open of an old wound. My son did get a Father though so there is something positive out of it.


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Dan,

    Even though her fb is private you can send her a message.


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Dan,

    Even though her fb is private you can send her a message.


    Cynthia9768 2 years ago

    The messages go into the "other" folder though and unless she knows it exists (most people do not) then she will most likely not get the message until she happens upon it. It is better to do a friend request.


    Drew 2 years ago

    Hey Mick,

    I want to update you.

    Recently I went to see my life long best friend while I was passing through our hometown. She is currently juggling men like a circus. I am not really interested in going to far forward with that. She is jumping around a lot and I don't think I would want to get myself caught up in that. I still care about her as she is my lifelong friend.

    I wanted to tell you about somebody else that I met about 4 years ago. Before my wife and I were engaged this young lady and I worked together, and I fell in love with her. She is so beautiful. We became good friends. A couple years ago I thought I would come clean and tell her how I felt.

    After I told her, she looked at me and said, "I cannot be involved with you. I'm sorry, but I am going to start dating someone else". I was still seeing my wife-to-be at the time, and she knew. So I know that was a no-go for her. She left me completely broken-hearted. I really liked the girl and I wasn't married at the time, but she shut me down.

    I took that risk, and that experience kind of ended our friendship as I knew it. In all honesty, I have met a lot of women Mick. I am under 30, but not many have meant much to me. This young lady however means the world to me. For two years, we have not talked or seen each other. I let her go and knew I still loved her in my heart.

    A few months back, I started to say hello over her facebook posts. After two years, I felt we could put some things behind us. Now that I am married, and she has been dating other people. Well, she reached out to me on FB and asked me if I would join her and some of our old friends at a cowboy bar for a couple drinks on her Birthday, which was 3 days ago.

    I told my friend I could not face her. We had a beautiful friendship that blew up and, I just couldn't bring myself to go. My friend calls and says, "we need to be there for her birthday, she invited us". I tried to back out, but he insisted. So I got my nerve up, and went though I was afraid. Just for a couple hours.

    She didn't know I was going to be there. My friend told her I could not show. She apparently seemed upset over it. Anyway I saw her walk in and I was just awestruck. Just as beautiful as before. She lit up at my presence and we shared long hugs.

    After a while she insisted I dance with her. I'm not that great a dancer, but I was all-in. So we went to the dance floor and got off to a terrible start because of me. Then we caught rhythm. She locked in closely to me and it was an electrifying dance. Passionate. That feeling we had when we used to see each other.

    I just wanted to tell you that. It took some real bravery for me to face my past after such a harsh parting of ways.

    On a lighter note. I told my wife I have been considering divorce. She has lightened up a lot, and we have been talking. However, I still feel we have fallen out of love completely.

    That conversation practically ended our friendship as we knew it. We had not spoked for the last two years. Three months ago I said hello on her facebook posts and have a few times since then. She reached out to me this week as it was her birthday and she asked me to join her at a cowboy bar to hang out.


    palomayoh5 profile image

    palomayoh5 2 years ago

    Jenny what happened?


    Jenny 2 years ago

    I'm still in limbo...he still hasn't accepted or declined my request but I notice that he accepted his daughters in the meantime! Looks like he and his wife are still parted as she is still posting single and he has not changed his status from married...sort of why everyone thinks he doesn't get on much but I can see he does just by these little occurrences. However I do get unknown phone calls sometimes and when I answer no one says anything, so I wonder if it is him? Is that going to crazy? But I am sure there is someone on the line but no one responds. How would you read that? Just wishful thinking? Also, when I did bump into him a little over a year ago I no there was still electricity in the air...again, is that crazy? Please give me your honest opinion.


    Jenny 2 years ago

    anyone have any idea why oh why he would keep me in limbo? Why not just delete and get on with it? I gave him the opportunity to decline but he hasn't. He just hasn't done anything...I think if it was me I'd just quietly delete and get on with him. He hasn't done that . Why? Pls respond. I am totally in limbo. What could be his reason not to delete if he wasn't interested? Why oh why just leave me hanging? Pls respond as I await your opinion.


    mickthetech 2 years ago Author

    Jenny,

    I don't know why he is keeping you in limbo. Just go on with your life and if he sees you doing that maybe it will make him respond.


    Jenny 2 years ago

    Well I am going about my life as always but I was wanting others opinions as to why he didn't just delete me and be done with it? Is this his way of keeping me on a string cause I told him in my message that I'd let him decide whether to add or delete me. Should I read something into this that he hasn't just quietly deleted me? Inam very confused, pls advise....


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    Jenny 24 months ago

    So I asked a friend if She thought it was bad that he hadn't responded even though he has read my messages. Still hasn't declined or accepted and she said to forget him and he is trying to forget the past. But I thought the whole idea was that people do get back in touch with their past and it can be amazing. Should the past staying the past? Is wife is still posting single status but I think they are in the same house still, your thought would be appreciated,


    Jenny 24 months ago

    So I asked a friend if She thought it was bad that he hadn't responded even though he has read my messages. Still hasn't declined or accepted and she said to forget him and he is trying to forget the past. But I thought the whole idea was that people do get back in touch with their past and it can be amazing. Should the past staying the past? Is wife is still posting single status but I think they are in the same house still, your thought would be appreciated,


    mickthetech 24 months ago Author

    Jenny,

    Not everything is meant to be. Unfortunately it doesn't look like he is ready to jump into another relationship so my advice to you is to let it go and if it is meant to be it will in the future.


    Jim 23 months ago

    Recently, through an internet search, I reconnected to the girl I dated in college 50 years ago. After three weeks of almost daily phone calls, writing and texting we both discovered that we are still very much in love with each other after all these years, our love never did diminish. We have both had terrible abusive marriages and as soon as I get my divorce we will get together again. We live on opposite coasts and, although we are both "old", we feel like teenagers.


    mickthetech 23 months ago Author

    Jim,

    So glad to hear a happy ending. Good luck to you. Keep us posted.


    Lynette 23 months ago

    I will try to make this as short as possible! When I was 19 I met James while I was in training. We had a connection, but I had a boyfriend so we would hang out and cuddle, but never took it any further. Three years later I got stationed in California, to find out he was there too. He actually worked in the office responsible for in processing me. He told me then he thought it was fate...but again I had another boyfriend that I met 2yrs prior and it was getting serious, however my boyfriend and I ended up getting stationed in two different countries. During this time James and I took turns playing cat and mouse lol. I knew then that I loved him, but we were so young I was 22 and he was 21. I knew he liked me, but never made a point to do what was necessary to keep me.

    I married my boyfriend he married a girl he met a little after me. My husband and I being married with 2 small ones for 7 yrs began to have serious issues. After my son was born my husband and I were only intimate 1x in 2yrs. He became irritable and very distant. I started to feel so small and unwanted by my husband. I found James on Facebook just to hi and see how his life was going. I was at a really horrible place with my self esteem and needed to feel attractive and cared for again. I started contemplating divorce. I was always depressed and hurt b/c of how my husband was treating me. Little did I know that while I was sharing all of this with James 9yrs later...he had went through something similar with his wife an they were now separated living in different countries. He told me he was sorry for not being what I needed back when we were younger and that it was his fault we weren't together now. Even though I wasn't happy in my marriage I told James I would never leave my husband for another man...if I left it would strictly be because I wasn't happy. He understood but told me he would always be my friend and we've kept in touch for the past 5 months.

    I prayed to God to give me the strength to do the right thing, to do things the right way. I realized I was no longer in love with my husband and was too hurt to try anymore. Over the last 5 months I've told my husband I wanted a divorce 3x. Each time it was painful to know how much I was hurting him, because he really had been trying and going to therapy to change...and he has changed, but I have told him the kindest way that I could that the damage from the last 3-4 yrs has taken it's toll on me and I am no longer the same because of it. He would plead and come up with compromises and each time, because I felt so bad for wanting to leave I would give in to waiting or just separating.

    Finally my husband got orders to England and I knew the kids and I could not go. I wasn't ready to be alone with him in a different country again so far away from my family (support system). My husband offered to drive me and the kids to my family in Cleveland in Feb and we agreed we would be separated for a year and then decide again what we would do long term. Meanwhile, James had just separated from Active Duty military and was enlisting in the reserves. I casually asked him, "so whens your training?" He says Feb/Mar. I then say, "ohhhh where to. He says Cleveland!!! I nearly passed. So serious. I was in shock all day. I told my mom (she knew about James for 12yrs). She was excited...I was scared. I was scared because I told God I wanted to do things the right way, I didn't want to cheat, even though I am separated and emotionally divorced already. I knew that with James being sent to training the same time and same place where I would be was either God/fate, or a horrible joke.

    Over the past 5 months I've become so in love with him. His patience, his humor, his thinking and outlook on life...and he says he welcomes my 2 little ones and my dog. We have so much in common all the way down to our childhoods. It's amazing. So now I don't how to handle this. I've been in turmoil ever since. I know what I need and deserve, but my husband doesn't deserve for me to be with someone else before a divorce is settled upon. Thanks for reading this "book" I would appreciate any advice. Thanks a million times!


    Lynette 23 months ago

    ...and Jenny, I agree with Mick. When a man wants you are ready for you, they will do whatever it takes to make you theirs. Accepting a friend request and messaging is so simple. Since he's not doing so it probably means this isn't the right time in his life, or maybe he is trying to politely let you know he has moved on. I wish you so much luck in everything this New Year!


    mickthetech 23 months ago Author

    Lynette,

    Wow, it's like reading my story when I read yours. Only difference is my love said he would not be the other man and a home wrecker but what he didn't realize was that I knew my marriage was over. At least for me. My ex pleaded and cried that he would change and to give him another chance but with 23 years of chances I was done. I did however go to see my now husband after I got separated. I am a catholic woman and knew that it was wrong but I had to see him. I prayed to God that if this was not right for me to make him go away and I would live my life but it didn't happen. 3 months after I got divorced my ex got married. He didn't even tell our daughter as he was afraid I would find out and try to stop it. LOL. So they move on, trust me. As hurt as they may want us to believe they are, they do. Go with your heart. Life is short. Don't waste it.

    Good luck.


    Lynette 23 months ago

    Thank you so much for sharing your strength to take your happiness by the reigns! I did the same as you, prayed for God to remove him from my life is this wasn't what he wanted...and he's sending James right to my home town. So I guess thats my answer lol. I believe you did the very best you could and God knows our hearts, and he knows you have a beautiful one!

    Thanks again, I've been so excited to see my lost love but was letting guilt interfere...I will embrace this second chance :-)


    Lynette 23 months ago

    My husband also told me a few days ago that he would never forgive me for leaving him and taking his kids away from him. He said I'm taking away his right to see them laugh and their first experiences. They are 3 and 5. That broke my heart because I do love him and am only trying to do whats right for me.

    I told him he could have the kids during the summer and we'll visit for Christmas and he can come visit them whenever he wants. I was also seeing a therapist to deal with all of this. I convinced him to see one as well to help him through this as well and to help him figure out why he was so cold and distant throughout our marriage. He told me a few days ago his therapist helped him figure out he was going through a dark time in his life and he's sorry for taking it out on me.

    He feels now that I know his behavior toward me was not intentional, I should forgive him and be there for him. He's making this so hard, I understand he's just trying to keep his kids and his family together but after years of a sexless marriage and a husband that criticized and barely spoke to me...no kisses, hugs or I love you's, I have lost any intimate feelings toward him at all. I've tried to get it back but he's more like a friend now.

    I just wanted to share that and get it off my chest. You don't have to respond :-)

    I will keep you updated on how things go with James and I in March!


    eyedid 22 months ago

    "I never gave up on him." If that were true, you'd not have married two other people before deciding to see if he was still available and interested in you.

    You were bored the life choices you made and went looking for some excitement, no doubt hurting your husband in the process bt suddenly deciding he wasn't good enough anymore and divorcing him.

    The world is so full of artificial people.


    mickthetech 22 months ago Author

    Dear eyedid,

    For your information, my first husband was physically abusing me. My second husband put me in financial ruins and we were caregivers to my mother which turned out to be me doing EVERYTHING. So please do not judge. If you walk in the shoes of others you might understand but you obviously didn't. We went on to live separate lives and moved on but fate brought us back together. I will not justify myself nor does anyone here need to. I was good to both of them and didn't get it back in return. My marriages were full of empty promises.

    I wish you nothing but happiness but if you ever experience what I did in my life you will understand. BTW the second went and got married 3 months after we were divorced if you need to know that so I don't think he was hurting that much.


    jjhilton 22 months ago

    If i can get several responses that would be good, this past week we saw 20 years without seeing each other pass, its been 11 months that we have been talking again, i have done some stupid stuff in that time frame, she has joked and asked if i could ever move to LA, but hasnt asked me to, she mentioned if she could get a better job that she could make changes in her life if she wanted to, my question besides quit playing stupid should i ask her if she wants me to get the ball rolling so that i can make the move, should i stay put and see if things will go any where here at home, i'm around my family, i live 50 miles from most of hers, she is out there without family and has only a few friends, or should i make the move without talking to her first ( like that will happen) and hope for the best but to show her i am serious


    mickthetech 22 months ago Author

    jjhilton,

    I think you should be straight with her and ask her what she wants. It sounds like that is what she is waiting for. Go for it. What is the worst thing that could happen? But from what I am reading I don't think the worst WILL happen. She has put the bug in your ear. Now it's time to get it out.

    Good luck.

    Keep us posted.


    lostinlove 22 months ago

    Beautiful story's! I would like to share mine.I dated this guy when I was 13 I lied to him about my age then lied to my parents about his age he was 5 years older then me But i knew i was in love with him.After dating for almost 2 years my mother and his sister broke us up.I have never been truly happy since then .I have always looked for him..Was not willing to let it go took me 36 years to find him. When i did it was the Best day of my life but very scared at the same time felt like i was 13 again.Plus I'am married to my husband now for 27 years ( never been happy) always felt like something was missing in my life felt lost..I found him on fb sent him a very short message.After just a short time I got a message back was scared to open the message.It was a very long letter telling me how much he still loved me and never forgot me and had also tried looking for me.It's been 4 yrs now we have not missed a day talking to each other by message or text or the phone we send each other picture's and we talk about our life .He is also married but unhappy say's he fills the same as me always lost ..I truly believe he is my soul mate.We live in different states so makes things harder we both believed in sticking it out in our marriages.This is were we are today we are getting ready to finally see each other for the first time since 1980 can't be apart no longer .We never wanted to hurt anyone but we are hurting us.The past 4 years has been great in getting to know each other again .I think it's time we move this forward I can't wait he makes me feel fuzzy inside makes me feel young! This is not going to be easy for us to do but we need to be together we are not getting any younger! He still talks to me the same way he did 36 years ago . When we talk for the first time on the phone we both cried! was so heart warming and heart breaking at the same time .We are both nerves moving forward .We need to be together life is to short to keep living or worrying about other people! It only tears a hole in your own heart..Just wanted to add the first time we spoke on the phone he sang our song to me I cried like a baby he really never forgot about US! With in the next month we will be together.So to everyone if your soul is lost keep looking for us remember it was 36 years! And yes after we both get a divorce I will become his wife.And never let anyone come between us again cause as they live their life we hurt


    jjhilton 22 months ago

    Thank you mickthetech, i finely have a chance to talk to her this evening since she works nights its been hard here lately since there is a 3 hour time gap and we dont want to let her current bf find out since he would flip, i have sent my previous employer an email so that i can possibly have a job and a place to stay lined up if she says yes, i have also went though looked at everything and i can have enough saved up in 6 months to where i can make the move and survive for 3 months if needed without a job, if it comes to that point i know it will be the biggest test of faith in my life to go 2500 miles across country away from anyone i can depend on until i get settled but the risk will be worth it


    jjhilton 22 months ago

    I don't belive it, I am now the richest/ luckiest/ happiest man on this earth I was just given the go ahead to go after what i have always wanted for 20 years the girl of my dreams that stole my heart when i was just 10 years old is keeping it, i will be moving clear across the country and risking it all even my best friend on something i would kill to make work


    mickthetech 22 months ago Author

    Dear lostinlove,

    Sounds like my story. Even the year you guys parted was the same year we did. You are right though. I lived my life to make others happy and not me. I now am happy with the man that never left my heart. Remember that in the end, everyone that matters in your life will learn to accept it when they see you happy. My family did and realizes that this was the best thing I did for me. They see a different me now. Good luck and hold on tight.


    lostinlove 22 months ago

    Thank you mickthetech, When I do get him back into my arms I will never let him go again!!!


    Jenny 22 months ago

    Hey Shannon, I read about you wanting to see an old boyfriend from 37 years ago and was wondering if anything had developed? I am sort of in the same predicament


    Jenny 22 months ago

    Hey Shannon, I read about you wanting to see an old boyfriend from 37 years ago and was wondering if anything had developed? I am sort of in the same predicament


    brandnewagain 22 months ago

    I found this site, because I wanted to find people who are experiencing or have experienced what I've been for the last two months. This is not about my FL, but I was only 18, and Rick was 28. He was divorced after a brief marriage of only 1 year and Jewish. I was devoutly Catholic, sheltered and still living with my parents. I had just been dumped from a one-year, very intense relationship (although not sexual), and my heart was breaking. Even in the year that I was going with Brendan, I was enamored by Rick. He was a Federal agent and I was the group's admin. So when Brendan let me go, I figured, "What do I have to lose?" I asked Rick to take me out. Well, he was a little nervous about doing that, because I was so young, and rather inexperienced in relationships.

    One day, my boss had a picnic at his home. Two other co-workers, which were my good friends took me with them to the picnic. Rick came in his own car, which by the way, was a beautiful sports car! Rick and I were friendly with each other, but I had no reason to think he was even remotely interested in me. Somehow, we ended up alone in my boss' basement. There was a dark room down there, and Rick led me into that room. We danced a slow dance, but he did not try anything inappropriate with me. He just held me close. A little while later, my friends told me that Rick was going to take me home. I thought that was kind of strange, because Rick did not ask me first and didn't give me the impression he wanted to do that. But it made me happy that I was going to get to spend some alone time with him, so I agreed to let him take me home.

    After a few minutes at my home, Rick asked me if he could take me back to his parents' house (where he was living). I knew why he wanted to do that, but I went ahead and said yes anyway.

    It was after 10:30 p.m. on a Saturday night by the time we got to his parents' house, and Rick flipped on the t.v. We decided to watch SNL together. Rick has a really great sense of humor, as do I. I love to laugh and to make people laugh. We laid on the couch together, spooning, watching the show and we were laughing ourselves into oblivion. The next thing I knew, he was caressing my right shoulder and my arm, and I felt a strong urge to turn toward him. We ended up making out very passionately, and before I knew it, my blouse was off and we were necking very heavily. It was almost as if we had all this pent-up sexual tension, and it just felt so good to let it out.

    For the first time in my young life, I made love with a man I barely knew right there on the couch. I had had two other serious boyfriends before and made them wait months to have me. With Rick, it was more like hours, even though we knew each other from working together for about a year. Surprisingly, we made love a second time that night, and I did not get home until about 4 the next morning. I could not believe what I had done! I was really worried that I had made a mistake, but it was too late, and I didn't feel one bit guilty.

    Rick called me the next day and we made plans to spend more time together. He made me promise not to tell anyone at work about our affair. I was stupid and did tell one of my friends. I figured she knew anyway, because she was the one that had brought me to my boss' picnic and knew I had left with Rick.

    Well, after about 3 months, and a few more secret rendezvous' with Rick, he decided I was getting too serious and broke it off with me. My heart was broken. I really liked him a lot, and I loved sex with him, because he was the first man to please me in bed or to even care about it. But I couldn't really say I was in love with him. The truth was we didn't know each other very well, and we were very different from each other and came from two different worlds. Our backgrounds couldn't have been more different.

    Three months later, I transferred from that Federal agency to another one, mainly so I could get away from seeing Rick every day. My heart was really broken. In the meantime, I dated about five other people. One of the guys I dated, Dave, was crazy in love with me, and had been since I was 14 years old. He was a very good man and always put me first. I knew that he would make a wonderful husband and father, so we became engaged. Three years later, Dave and I were married and in 4 short years, we had 3 children. I thought of Rick throughout my marriage and life, but I made no attempts to contact him or to keep tabs on him. Frankly, I had put him behind me and didn't think I would ever see him again. I felt that he was bad for me, because shortly after we broke up, I found out my so-called friend (the one I told about our affair) was going out with him every single Saturday night. So he was seeing both of us (sleeping with me, but not her), and made his choice -- her. Later, I found out that because he could not make a commitment to her, she left him and married another man.

    Now it is 35 years later, and I have thought about Rick off and on for years. He has a very common name, so I had trouble finding him on FB but two months ago, I hit gold, and found him. I sent him a friend request, and he accepted my request in about four hours.

    After he accepted my request, I sent him a private message, just telling him that I had thought about him off and on over the years and hoped that he was happy and that he was able to find someone to share hiss life with and have children. I honestly didn't think he would remember me. I basically wanted to tell him that I remembered him fondly and wished him well. I got the impression that he bedded a lot of girls and that what he did with to me, was probably a regular habit for him.

    He wrote back and told me that he remembered me very well, and then he described everything we did, down to the dance and to what I had been wearing! He woke up memories in me about our time together that I had not thought about in years. He immediately asked me to have lunch with him so we could talk about old times and chat about the people we'd worked with. I refused at first, but he asked again and again. I had no intentions of seeing another man behind my husband's back. My husband has been a wonderful husband and father and has never laid an angry hand on me or treated me poorly. Just in about the last 10 years of our 30-year marriage, his hold on me has gotten pretty tight, and although I have a Master's degree and a good career, he has a tight reign on me and allows me to have very little money. He has always had trust problems with me, because I wasn't a virgin when we began going together and I dated other people while dating him, while he was always serious about me and has never dated any other woman than me. I even taught him to kiss! Because I feel so confined sometimes, I threw caution to the wind and agreed to meet Rick for lunch. BTW, he is married with 2 adult kids. His wife has never worked, even though they need her to, and she has some serious mental issues, but he has never told me he doesn't love her. He's told me that he has never cheated on her during his 30-year marriage. He also told me there is no passion left between them.

    When we met for lunch, we spent three hours together catching up. We hugged hello, and when we hugged goodbye, he held me tightly and kissed me tenderly on the cheek. It was heavenly. For the past 8 weeks, we have been texting and talking on the phone every day without fail. We have made plans to spend the night together, and I am really scared. But we both feel very nostalgic about our affair from 35 years ago. I think we just want to have a break from our marriages for some tender love and passion. We have met a second time and both of us really want this together. I have made it clear to him that I love my husband and have no plans to leave him. I don't want any drama or problems. This is my way of protecting my heart.

    We are about finished making plans for our overnight rendezvous. I don't know where this will lead us. I know I'm playing with fire, but I just have to do this. What do you all think?


    Molly 21 months ago

    We knew each other when I was 15, then I left to attend boarding sch in a the UK. He came to UK a year later and we dated for a year. Then he dated other girls n we lost contact with each other. 40 years later in 2013, I received a Facebook friend request from him and he phoned me the next day. We lived in opp sides of the world. ( I live in Singapore). We communicated daily . I was still married and he was in a bad marriage. I decided to file for a divorce n went to meet him in London. Last year, he retired early and separated from his wife and came back to his hometown , Malaysia. We see each other for as long as the visitor visa allows us. We will live together once my divorce is finalised ( next week is the final judgement ) . We still loved each other after 40 years apart. Yes , it can work .


    brandnewagain 21 months ago

    He and I have also been communicating every day, and we have now met 4 times! I don't know if this is love yet, but I am extremely fond of him! I don't have any plans to separate from my husband. It's too early to even think about that. It's amazing, that even after 35 years, old feelings come to surface to quickly and easily! Good luck, Molly!!


    Jenny 20 months ago

    I'm still in limbo...he did accept a friend request from an old friend from the past...but nothing for me yet. So I know he is on...just laying low. Wondering why he doesn't just delete me and let it be. One person said cause he is interested...just not out of his other relationship even though she has posted her status as single for over a year now. Any thoughts as to why if he isn't interested just delete me?


    lina 20 months ago

    I met him in 1974 were so into each other to the point his mother thought that we should get married we were 12 when we met by the time we were sixteen his mom contacted my mother but my mom refused to sign the paperwork we loved each other so much but then again we were so young and didn't even realize what it was. One night were sitting at the fireplace at his house and we broke up and that was in 1983 we both cried and didn't really know why he was tearing because he was the one who wanted to part so that morning I took my stuff and tip toed outta there heartbroken about a month later he contacted me wanting to get together and that went on every weekend for about a year before it stopped. I didn't see him again for a year I ran into him on the street and we both were in a relationship but passing by each other for that moment we couldn't stop looking back at one another while walking with the new boyfriend /girlfriend . In 1986 I got married to someone and maybe it was to fill the void, I still loved him so that marriage didn't work out. In 1995 I married for the second time to an amazing man but it still doesn't compare to the love I had for my first love. One day I happened to be on facebook and I came across his brothers page so to my surprise he remembered me right away so I asked about his family trying to refrain from asking about him out of blue he sent me his number, I was too afraid to call so I text him two weeks later, didn't want to lead on to who I was right away so I gave him a hint by saying a sentence using a name that only him and I knew about it was a nickname for his cat which was big face. We texted for three months he lives in Virginia and iam in Florida after a while we just wanted to see each other badly. So we hooked up went to a restaurant and started reminiscing and he said that he had made the biggest mistake in his life and every relationship he had didn't last because it was not me. He had even gotten married and his wife couldn't take the pressures of his family asking for me he said he looked for me but I was gone. We still are in contact and I still love him but I love my husband of 20 years..Any advice anyone?


    lina 20 months ago

    I met him in 1974 were so into each other to the point his mother thought that we should get married we were 12 when we met by the time we were sixteen his mom contacted my mother but my mom refused to sign the paperwork we loved each other so much but then again we were so young and didn't even realize what it was. One night were sitting at the fireplace at his house and we broke up and that was in 1983 we both cried and didn't really know why he was tearing because he was the one who wanted to part so that morning I took my stuff and tip toed outta there heartbroken about a month later he contacted me wanting to get together and that went on every weekend for about a year before it stopped. I didn't see him again for a year I ran into him on the street and we both were in a relationship but passing by each other for that moment we couldn't stop looking back at one another while walking with the new boyfriend /girlfriend . In 1986 I got married to someone and maybe it was to fill the void, I still loved him so that marriage didn't work out. In 1995 I married for the second time to an amazing man but it still doesn't compare to the love I had for my first love. One day I happened to be on facebook and I came across his brothers page so to my surprise he remembered me right away so I asked about his family trying to refrain from asking about him out of blue he sent me his number, I was too afraid to call so I text him two weeks later, didn't want to lead on to who I was right away so I gave him a hint by saying a sentence using a name that only him and I knew about it was a nickname for his cat which was big face. We texted for three months he lives in Virginia and iam in Florida after a while we just wanted to see each other badly. So we hooked up went to a restaurant and started reminiscing and he said that he had made the biggest mistake in his life and every relationship he had didn't last because it was not me. He had even gotten married and his wife couldn't take the pressures of his family asking for me he said he looked for me but I was gone. We still are in contact and I still love him but I love my husband of 20 years..Any advice anyone?


    Brandnewme 17 months ago

    Well, IA lot of time has passed since I last posted, about 4 months at least. My lover and I had been having a pretty steamy love affair. We had been meeting about everybweek andbeven spent the night together in a hotel room, unbeknownst tto our spiuses. I hate it, but I have fallen very deeply in love with him. But all things must comevto an end. We were consantly texting each other, and one day aboutva month ago, his wife got ahold of his phone, without him knowing. She read some of our steamy messages to each other and went nuts! He left homevand moved in with his dad and his brother and told me that continuing our relationship and divorcing would be a financial diaster for him. He doesnt have much saved for retirement, but his house is woth a half million dollars and it's almost paid off. He said when she talked about "her lawyer", he thought she was bluffing and that we couldnt meet for awhile but we could still talk on the phone. I was devestated. I asked him why he delete the text messages like he constantly reminded me too, and he said he got comfortable and lazy. I asked him if he really wanted to get caught. He said he didnt mean to. More later...


    Brandnewme 17 months ago

    Hi Mickthetech, I wrote a lengthy continuance of my story a couple days ago, but I don't see it posted here. Could you post it please? Thank you.


    jjhilton 15 months ago

    Omg, if you need a spell caster thats not love. True love is what you read about on this page just like the love of my life and myself. I wish these things would stop showing up


    mickthetech 15 months ago Author

    I keep reporting them as spam and deleting them but they keep posting here. I agree with you jjhilton.


    Naomi 15 months ago

    I met my first love in 1971. We were involved for 3 years, 3 glorious years of joy. Life moved on.....we were young....I had to attend college, as did he. We lived in different countries, but spent 4 wonderful years together that are unforgettable. I retained all the pictures and love letters from that time.

    After a personal health situation and the advice of my psychologist, who told me it was time to go to my happy place. I am sure she thought it would be the mountains of the beach. It has been my favorite place for many years. I still have family and friend here and had some unfinished business. I needed to see him. I wanted to know how his life had been, etc. Before we both knew it, we were holding hands...the chemistry was still there. Before I know it, we were back where we left off, l but wiser and knowlegable of our circumstances. That was 3-1/2 years ago. I do the legal return back and forth every 3 months and attempting citizenship through juris sagrus....more than 2 years now. But it ain't over until the fat lady sings. The thought of hurting my family...children, father...is making me feel very guilty. I know they will be angry and disappointed with me. But at my therapist has told me, I deserve to be happy with the life I have remaining. When we are together, I am truly happy.


    mickthetech 15 months ago Author

    I understand how you feel. I too felt too guilty to leave my mother and family and they were making me feel even more guilty. I too was seeing a therapist and told me I am not responsible for their happiness. They are and that I am only responsible for mine. At that I decided to leave. And there were alot of hurt feelings. My mother wouldn't even talk to me but I still called her everyday and now, they all love my sweetie and they know I made the right move. It all came in time. What I am saying is that I do not want to be the reason you leave your family, I am merely telling you how I felt and did. I miss my family terribly and try to see them once a year but I love my life now.


    Sharon.hubcaps.com 15 months ago

    Well I'm so glad I came across this site My story is I was with the love of my life for 8 years ( married for 2). I left because I really didn't think he was as committed as I was and there was a lot of interference from so called friends one of whom wanted him for herself. She made out after I had left that he had moved on with someone else even making me believe that this woman had moved into our home. This left me feeling devastated and I actually even seen them together at a mutual friends house one night. But this was all part of this girls plan to make me think he had gotten serious with this woman because she wanted him herself even though she was married to my ex's best friend. 2years later I met someone I started seeing and fell pregnant 4months later. I wasn't in love with this person and he had a real drinking problem. I went on to have 2 more kids but never was happy and I hadn't seen my ex in all this time although I knew he was heartbroken for years after I left. Well 6 months ago I was at a gathering and in he walked and boom my legs went weak and he was just as gorgeous as I remembered 24 years ago. He came and hugged me and told me how great I still looked and we ended up chatting for a couple of hours until my taxi arrived. He didn't want me to go but because I was with others I had no choice. I found out he was married to a thai and had a son and met her in a bar but of course she was a "good" one. He has invested all his money over there building her a house and whatever which he could never own. I think there is a 20 year age gap there. I managed to find his number and I sent him a text telling him how sorry I was for leaving the marriage and that there were things he needed to know about why I left. He replied and said that I shouldn't be sorry and that he should have paid more attention to our marriage and that he always thinks about me. We did maintain a bit of contact over the next few months but not much. He kept saying he wanted to catch up but nothing came of it and I found out he was still here and he hadn't gone back to Thailand and was staying at his folks as his dad was very sick. He does work away also while he's been here but I thought he was flying back to Thailand after his swings on the mines was finished and he had his week off. So then I contacted him a few weeks ago and we chatted for a few hours and he was telling me he hadn't been back home to Thailand for 5 months and he should go back. I found this strange because even though his dad was unwell he wasn't that bad a couple months ago that he couldn't have left to fly back to Thsiland to see this wife. Or why she couldn't have flown over here for a couple of weeks. Then we sent a couple of texts to each other and he said in them he should have listened to me and that he was an idiot and was remembering our wonderful sex life we had and even the blue bikinis he used to love me in. It made my heart break because I just love him so much and I love that he signs off with the love word. So sadly his dad passed away and he said for me to go to the funeral which was sad but I'm glad I went. We hugged and I seen his family and they were all warm to me but his thai wife never came over for it. So when it finished some our mutual friends were going for a drink and he really wanted to go but thought his mum wanted to go straight home so I thought oh god I probably won't see him again and felt heartbroken but when I ended up at the place for drinks he was there. I didn't get to talk to him much but he gave me a hug and he said in passing to everyone he would catch up with them and then gave me this special look as if the comment was directed at me. Then about an hour later he rang and I didn't here my phone but seen the missed call message and he was saying he rang to thank me for coming to the funeral as he thought he hadn't thanked me and so I rang him and we talked for about an hour and he told me he was back up to his swing on the mines for 2 weeks and then would be back to his mums to fix things up a bit at her house. Now he told other people he was going back to Thailand for that week off and that confused me. He knows I'm in the process of moving to live with my brother who he gets along with really well and he said he will contact him and catch up for a drink. I said well if I'm around I can drop you's off and pick you's up and he said no way you will be coming with us. So after our phone conversation I sent him a text and told him how gorgeous he still was and he sent one back telling me I was too. I'm pretty sure he hasnt lost his love for me I know the last 3 months have been busy for him but at least now when I text he answers and if I have called he answers as well. I truly don't believe his marriage is working too well he hasn't been back for 6 months although he is always saying I need to go home and says he will go back and live there and it must be hard because he dies have the little boy but this marriage I believe is a case of him being the money man who can provide the lifestyle that these people would never otherwise be able to afford. I would like to get peoples thoughts on this as I love this man with my heart and soul and I have done for 32 years and can't and never have live anyone else like him. I guess it will be very hard for him if his marriage is not happy because he stands to lose his life savings and also she wouldn't have the son here she wanted him born in Thailand and if he hadn't of married her after he was born he wouldn't have even been allowed to be registered under my ex's name. I don't want to stop contact with him and I'm so scared that if he does do back over there I won't be able to freely text and ring him. I just know there is the love and attraction still there and I don't want any chance to slip by


    jslow 13 months ago

    You girls need to write a fiction book. Your sure as hell messing up my mind, and I've waited 50 years.


    Brandnewagai 13 months ago

    Life has become very difficult. Rick wants nothing to do with me, but I am still deeply in love with him. He doesn't want to leave his wife, which I'm ok with, but he doesn't want to see me or talk to me either. I am friends with his brother, and he tells me that Rick is still very unhappy in his marriage and that he doesn't hate me, he just can't afford a divorce. I'm so heartbroken.

    I have filed for divorce, even though my husband doesn't know about Rick. I don't love him anymore, and I can't take his tight reign anymore, plus he has been managing 100% of my very good salary, and would only allow me to have very little money. I am at least blessed. My husband and I are good friends and the divorce is amicable, and we are not fighting. That helps a lot.

    I belong to a very conservative church, which I love. I had to go to my minister and confess my sin to him, so I can be forgiven of it. He said in order for me to be truly forgiven of my sins with Rick, I have to confess to my husband, even though we are divorcing. I will be ex-communicated if I don't do this. I don't want to tell him, because he will never forgive me and it will tear my kids apart if we can't spend family time together, even though all my kids are adults now.

    Take my advice, before you have an extramarital affair, give it a lot of thought. Weigh your options. Even though it did not work out with Rick, I don't regret it. It was one of the best experiences of m life, and I would do it again.


    nn 11 months ago

    The something happen to me I had a boyfriend I hs. We dated for a while I broke up with him. We talked throughout hs. After hs We lost touch so last July I looked on fb n there he was I thought well I'll message him n if responses good if not oh well. He did right away . it was wonderful we chatted a while. A few weeks later we chatted again I asked him if I could take him for a business lunch my outside sakes guy n I did. Well not 5 mins after I got back into my office he texted me. We had lunch a few days later. He wanted to meet me the next day I was scared . we both were married.but we did meet for lunch n drinks m then he asked me to meet him in a sat n I did. He asked if I would let him kiss me. I wanted him so bad. Mind u we never had sex when we we're in hs. We kissed omg. I remember how he was a beautiful kisser . he took my breath away. Then n still. Well after that we talked all day long n started our affair. I fell in love with him right away. I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help myself. So we went on for a year and half . I left my husband because of my quilt 3 months after. Well we had some issues these last months . we are trying to just be friends. I. Having a hard time n he is also but he is married n I still spend time with my husband . we aren't living together but we have kids n grandkids it's so hard. I love them both . however I love my bf lover more then life it self . I can't let him go. N he can't either . I want to be with him but Its so hard with our lives. He is a wonderful man n love him like I said. N the other day I said it's not fair George not his real name . I had you first before your wife . what can we do? So I say if u find your true love hold him or her. I pray we will be together . my heart hurts so bad for him my first n last love.. 1982


    Drew 10 months ago

    Hello Mick,

    I am a previous poster here. It appears to have been a year and a half since I last posted in your forum. It was funny coming back to read your advice and more importantly what I previously wrote you.

    I just reread your original advice to me and it is even more sound today than it was before today.

    I finally told my wife two days ago that our marriage was over and I am going to be leaving very soon. It has been a 14 year relationship, but a complete lie. Our love was over a long time ago. It shouldn't have gone into marriage.

    I cant say thank you enough. I finally feel that this is almost over. My wife reaffirmed to me last night she doesnt give a damn about what I want and only thinks of herself and her demands. It is not love, but control and manipulation.

    I guess you were the first person I really reached out to for help. Being in such a complicated unhappy situation, leaving just didnt seem like poetic justice. I needed her to know that she has been the most awful person to me, and that I have ample reason to exit stage left.

    I consider this relationship to be an abusive one. It will be great when it is finally all over. I have slowly been letting my wounds heal and withdrawing from the marriage in my head and heart. This lie we have been living seems to finally be over. I want you to know another unhappy marriage is coming to a close so another happy one can begin.

    Thanks again for your honesty. If I have an update on my progress in the future I will share it with you.

    Drew


    mickthetech 10 months ago Author

    Hi Drew.

    So happy for you. Once in a while I communicate with my ex and still can't understand why I stayed so long but it was a weight lifting off my shoulders when I finally ended it. No more blood pressure pills. That says something. Now you can move on with your life and start living.

    Keep me posted.


    Jenny 10 months ago

    I haven't been on here for a long time. We are still not friends pm fab but he was on my page because on one of my pages I had stated that the pm was the only one for me and he commented absolutely.. So of course I am wondering about a hidden meaning. Then a few month later I look on his page and wee he is a papa so I congratulated him and he responded. So we hadn2 paragraphs of back and forth and then I left. He went down east to visit his daughter and son in law after they had the first grand baby but in all of the pics of the family they're were none of him and his wife together or even with the 2 of them and the baby! SHE still puts her status as single and he puts his as married. But is that not strange the of all these pics none of them together and none of them posted in any of the family pics. Pls give me your opinion.


    Keana Ervin 7 months ago

    I got my first love back after 30 years and neither of us were ever married. Now were engaged to be married. I never gave up on him and he never gave up on me. I agree that if you have someone that you truly love and they complete you don't let them get away. True Love is hard to find.


    Browneyedmaiden 7 months ago

    My FL and I began when we were 13 (1972) and were together for 1 1/2 years. We both were crazy about each other from day one. Soon after we met, he gave me a 2 diamond promise ring and asked me to be his. I was so happy, I loved him with every fiber of my being. I gave him my virginity a year later. He never, ever pressured me even though we made out amd heavily petted as often as we were together. We lived in the same town but went to different schools. We had so many good times and I knew his family well. In 9th grade, I felt him pulling away and had fear of him breaking up with me. I just couldn't let hi. Break up with me so I did it first.

    He was so hurt and the walls went up around his heart immediately. I thought I lost him forever.


    Browneyedmaiden 7 months ago

    We went our separate ways but I never stopped loving him. I reached out a lot but he held me at arms length. Then 13 years later I ran into him at a bar. We were happy to see each other. I invited him over to my place and he accepted. He had been living with a girl for several years. We started talking and all I could say is that I would really want to kiss you. So we did and I was in heaven.

    Later the next day, we went swimming in a secluded area and then he took me to a drive in movie. We couldn't keep our hands off each other. I finally told him I still loved him and he said he loved me too. We went back to my place and made love all night. It was perfect and I thought it meant he had forgiven me and was willing to give us another chance. But that was not to be.

    He came over 2 days later, a friend of mine was at my place. I was happy to see him but he seemed distracted and didn't stay long. In hindsight I he may have wanted to tell me something but I don't know what for certain.


    Browneyedmaiden 6 months ago

    He didn't come back. I was so heartbroken, I could not understand why he didn't at least tell me goodbye. 6 month later, I force myself to move on because he doesn't love me. If he did, he would not have disappeared. I marry the man I met after him. My sister moved into my old apartment and a year later, she tells me he came looking for me. Inside, I'm so upset because I don't understand why he disappeared and why he came back. I tell myself that I've moved on and I try to forget him. But of course, I can't because he is the love of my life. My marriage ends 5 years before we finally divorce.

    I reach out to him around his 40th birthday (1999). I still love him so much and I needed closure. I needed to understand what happened. He calls me but catches me off guard, so I don't ask the whys and he doesn't volunteer anything. I wanted so much to see him but I know it is wrong of me to ask this of him, so I didn't say anything (he is married to the same girl he lived with all those years). I wanted him to be happy. I finally realize that I will never meet anyone else that makes me feel the way he makes me feel.


    Jenny 6 months ago

    Think this page is finished! Sorry to see it go!


    Jarod 4 months ago

    I first read your story while I was in a very difficult marriage. My wife and I have been separated for six months. It was a terribly difficult time for me. Leaving my wife, who I had been involved with since I was a teenager, was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

    Before I got married I had fallen in love with another friend of mine. We both wanted to be together, and my other friends told me she wanted to be with me. I was just nervous to walk away from my long time girlfriend.

    Instead of being proactive, I let my girlfriend pressure me into marriage. It was a very trying moment. Did I choose the woman I love or the woman that had been with me since I was a teen?

    I went the safe route in life considering I loved my girlfriend. All the doubts I had about our marriage were soon realized. I didn't give our marriage a trial period. We were together for nearly 3 years.

    It became progressively worse over time. She threatened to leave me. It was like all those fears I had came rushing back. I suddenly remembered that I had been in love with another woman.

    I started to reach out to this other woman, to rekindle our friendship. She was kind enough to respond. I was torn, I had loved this woman, and she loved me too.

    After I left my wife I took my hand at trying to speak to her in person. It didn't go so well. She had a boyfriend, and she immediately started dishing about their relationship. We had not spoken to each other in two years. It seemed rather personal a conversation to be having with her.

    I told her to examine her personal life and see what happened. She stopped dating the guy after some time. Then I figured I would ask my former love to have lunch with me. She flat denied me.

    Of course, I understood, my marital status is still separated. However she told me she didn't feel comfortable meeting me considering the situation I was in. After that point, I stopped trying to communicate with her. She never responded, but I know deep down she read every time I messaged her.

    I personally feel it reflected in her facebook posts. She finally asked for some relationship advice on facebook, and I answered her question. Not even a day later, she says that she is going to give the ex boyfriend another try.

    I don't find it coincidental that after I spoke to her, she stopped seeing him, and then subsequently started seeing him again after I offered my advice. My advice was helpful, not harmful. I personally believe I would see a different side of her if I was fully divorced and available.

    I want to thank MickTheTek for her wonderful advice to me over this troubling time in my life. I had never been so weak willed than when I reached out to you. You gave me the courage to choose me, instead of my selfish wife. You saved a life Mick, in me.

    I am happier today than I have been in years. I am still sad that things haven't worked out between my wife and I. I really wanted things to work out, but I just can't force myself to endure any more conditions. I loved my wife unconditionally.

    I am proud of myself for having never treated her like garbage when she treated me so badly. I can only hope that my true love will give me another chance when I become available again. I look forward to the day I post that true love prevailed.

    If you are going through a hard time, have trust in life. We are all in this together. Life isn't so perfect for everyone.

    True love is absolutely worth waiting for, even if you are the last in line. I have waited patiently for seven years to date the woman I love. I think I will get my chance when I become single again.

    She knew what we had was real. I am so glad I told her that I would always love her, no matter what happened between us. She knows that I still love her. For now, that is enough for me.

    I know where she stands regarding me, and she knows where I stand. Hard to ask for much more than that. Thanks again Mick, you are an inspiration.


    Drew 4 months ago

    Reposted :

    I first read your story while I was in a very difficult marriage. My wife and I have been separated for six months. It was a terribly difficult time for me. Leaving my wife, who I had been involved with since I was a teenager, was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

    Before I got married I had fallen in love with another friend of mine. We both wanted to be together, and my other friends told me she wanted to be with me. I was just nervous to walk away from my long time girlfriend.

    Instead of being proactive, I let my girlfriend pressure me into marriage. It was a very trying moment. Did I choose the woman I love or the woman that had been with me since I was a teen?

    I went the safe route in life considering I loved my girlfriend. All the doubts I had about our marriage were soon realized. I didn't give our marriage a trial period. We were together for nearly 3 years.

    It became progressively worse over time. She threatened to leave me. It was like all those fears I had came rushing back. I suddenly remembered that I had been in love with another woman.

    I started to reach out to this other woman, to rekindle our friendship. She was kind enough to respond. I was torn, I had loved this woman, and she loved me too.

    After I left my wife I took my hand at trying to speak to her in person. It didn't go so well. She had a boyfriend, and she immediately started dishing about their relationship. We had not spoken to each other in two years. It seemed rather personal a conversation to be having with her.

    I told her to examine her personal life and see what happened. She stopped dating the guy after some time. Then I figured I would ask my former love to have lunch with me. She flat denied me.

    Of course, I understood, my marital status is still separated. However she told me she didn't feel comfortable meeting me considering the situation I was in. After that point, I stopped trying to communicate with her. She never responded, but I know deep down she read every time I messaged her.

    I personally feel it reflected in her facebook posts. She finally asked for some relationship advice on facebook, and I answered her question. Not even a day later, she says that she is going to give the ex boyfriend another try.

    I don't find it coincidental that after I spoke to her, she stopped seeing him, and then subsequently started seeing him again after I offered my advice. My advice was to be helpful, not harmful. I personally believe I would see a different side of her if I was fully divorced and available.

    I want to thank MickTheTek for her wonderful advice to me over this troubling time in my life. I had never been so weak willed than when I reached out to you. You gave me the courage to choose me, instead of my selfish wife. You saved a life Mick, in me.

    I am happier today than I have been in years. I am still sad that things haven't worked out between my wife and I. I really wanted things to work out, but I just can't force myself to endure any more conditions. I loved my wife unconditionally.

    I am proud of myself for having never treated her like garbage when she treated me so badly. I can only hope that my true love will give me another chance when I become available again. I look forward to the day I post that true love prevailed.

    If you are going through a hard time, have trust in life. We are all in this together. Life isn't so perfect for everyone.

    True love is absolutely worth waiting for, even if you are the last in line. I have waited patiently for seven years to date the woman I love. I think I will get my chance when I become single again.

    She knew what we had was real. I am so glad I told her that I would always love her, no matter what happened between us. She knows that I still love her. For now, that is enough for me.

    I know where she stands regarding me, and she knows where I stand. Hard to ask for much more than that. Thanks again Mick, you are an inspiration.

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