Are You Too Needy?
Needy, clingy people - they can be anywhere. Just when you least expect it, one of them pops into your life. Perhaps you are close to someone who is needy. Maybe you have a needy relative, friend, neighbor, significant other, or co-worker. If you don't know anyone that fits that description, are you the person always asking for help? Uh-oh. You might be an overly needy person!
Neediness is a way of life for many people. It is a problem that can strike anyone. Neediness knows no race, gender, or social status. Often it begins with a person that is used to being babied by someone else. Perhaps it is a parent, a spouse, or they've simply had a personal assistant at work for too long. You need to ask yourself, what happens when I have to do activities on my own? What happens when I am forced to think for myself? Gasp! If these are scary questions, you are too needy!
I am here to help you out. Yes, once again someone else is enabling you, but you obviously need some help. I am here for you - for now. I won't be here later though since you need to think on your own. Stop being so clingy!
Are you constantly on the phone?
Seriously, this can be a sign. When you go to the grocery store, do you have to call Grandma to ask what type of detergent she uses before you can buy some for yourself? When you attempt to order something online, do you have to call customer service before even trying 5 minutes to figure it out on your own? When you break something in your home, do you call a repair person before even attempting to fix it yourself?
I hate to tell you, but you are needy if you answered yes to any of those questions. If you answered yes to more than one question, you are overly needy. I don't even want to think about it if you answered a yes to all three. You have problems.
How do people react to you?
When you enter a room, do people... well... run away? Do people tend to roll their eyes at you a lot when you are talking? This is a bad sign. You are obviously annoying on some level. I hate to break this to you, but that is not normal. One or two people in your life might be chronic eye rollers, but if you get it all the time from numerous people, you are obnoxious.
Do you tend to ask for favors a lot? No one minds helping out a friend. We've all been in some bad situations a time or two. But do you constantly ask people for help moving furniture, babysitting children, figuring out how to work the oven, scratch your back, walk the dog, paint the house, etc.? Wow! You are truly needy.
Have you lost a lot of friends? Do you find that friends come and go quite a bit? Once again, the cause could be that you are annoying and overly needy. Were you constantly calling them at all hours of the night to cry over a dude or ask how to bake a cake or something ridiculous like that? You are too needy!
Needy and clingy go hand and hand.
You may also find if you are too needy, you are also too clingy. These two are often associated with each other. Needy people not only need assistance all the time, when they sense their friends are trying to separate from them, they tend to cling harder to them. This will not create the best results. Once a person tries to stop enabling one that is too needy, it is all the more annoying when the calls and visits become even more frequent.
So stop being so needy and clingy!
It's time to help yourself!
It is possible to be a needy "clinger" but turn that all around. Yes, you can stop being so needy! Here are some suggestions so you can improve your life:
- If at first you don't succeed, try again! You are not going to understand everything the first time you try it. Don't be scared to fail. When you are trying to learn something new, give yourself ample opportunity to fail. We all fail sometimes; that does not mean we need to call someone else to do it... unless you are trying to put out a fire and you are too stubborn to dial 911. Trust me - it's OK to call 911. You just failed at lighting a candle. Don't fail at the whole finding a fire extinguisher thing, too.
- Don't always call people the second you have a common problem. Stop and take a deep breath. Can you solve it on your own? I'll bet you can!
- If you see a friend trying to get away from you, maybe that person needs some space. No, people are not supposed to run from you when they see you walk through the door. Let them go.
- Take pride in what you do and don't let others bring you down. Some of your friends might enjoy babying you, but don't let them do it. There are certain personalities that are attracted to clingers for just this reason. Let yourself do the distancing this time from folks like that.
- Most of all, be the best "you" you can be. You need to just say to the world that you are strong, confident, and capable. If you say it long enough, you might start believing it and then you can do just about everything for yourself.
Copyright ©2011 Jeannieinabottle
BONUS ADVICE: How to Use a Search Engine
It has recently come to my attention that many needy people simply do not know how to use a search engine. Google, Bing, and Yahoo can all be your buddies if you allow them. I work in customer service and I am shocked by the calls I get each day that has nothing to do with my job. I often say, "Well, let me Google that for you since I do not have that information." Those with dignity will say something like, "Oh, never mind, I can do that for myself." Needy people will allow me to search for them as if Google somehow works better on my computer than their computer.
Here are some instances when you should use a search engine:
- You need to find a phone number.
- You need to find an address.
- You want to get directions to a location.
- You need to make a motel reservation.
- You are looking for a restaurant in your area.
- Other basic information searches.
Sometimes you do need to call customer service, an emergency number, your doctor, etc. Here are some instances when you might want to suck up your pride and not do your own research:
- You have a fever over 102 degrees.
- You are severely bleeding and think you might die.
- Your home is on fire.
- Someone just showed up with a gun at your door.
- You have an extremely technical question and someone needs to break it down for you.
- You want to know if a company received a payment.
- You need to tell off your cable company because they are overcharging you and your cable just went out again.
- You just looked out your window and a bear is staring at you.
- Your roof is caving in.
- And any other difficult or emergency situations.
In general, for major emergencies or a complex question, it is best to call someone about it. However, many basic facts can be learned online. You can also learn how to do things for yourself step-by-step. Let me give you an example how to use a search engine.
Example: You need to keep deer out your yard because they are eating your rose bush.
Go to google.com or bing.com or any other search engine and type in "how to keep deer out of yard." A number of different sites, articles, and information will appear. I suggest skimming the results and checking out several different sites. In no time you are on your way to being self-sufficient! Bambi won't be nibbling on those flowers anymore!
By the way, shavings of Irish Spring soap will often keep deer out your yard. They don't like that stuff. Even if the deer in your area refuse to be banned from your yard, at least the soap will smell fresh when it rains. Good luck!
Additional information: Copyright ©2013 Jeannieinabottle
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