Acknowledging An Obligation To Be "Aware" Is Not "Blaming The Victim"!

Looking Out For #1 Is YOUR Responsibility...

The mindset of our nation these days is whenever something bad happens to us we look outward to place all the blame on the person that took advantage of us. If a neutral party even slightly suggests the victim may have unintentionally contributed to placing a bullseye on her/himself there is major uproar from the masses screaming, “Don’t blame the victim!”

A Perfect World

In a perfect world we would lead a crime free existence.

A woman could accept a drink from a guy knowing it hasn’t been tampered with.

A person could leave keys in their ignition with the car running for several hours without having someone steal their car.

You could go on vacation for a week leaving your front door wide open and expect everything to be as you left it.

One could openly count their money as they walk down any street or alley without worrying someone might rob them.

A man and woman could leave their purse and wallet on a nightclub table while dancing on a crowded floor for several songs knowing their belongings will be waiting for them. Let’s face it ladies and gentlemen we don’t live in a “perfect world!”

It’s up to each of us to look out for ourselves and to take necessary precautions.

Right & Wrong

First of all I’m sure most of us would agree anyone who breaks the law, steals, rapes, or kills another person is wrong. They should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. However this does not absolve us of our responsibility to think before acting, look out for ourselves, or be aware of our surroundings.

Several years ago a coed went to a fraternity party and she drank an awful lot. As the evening went on she got on top of the bar and performed a striptease. She rubbed her breast into the face of several of the guys as she continued to drink. A few hours later she awoke and realized she had been raped. Clearly the men who took advantage of her are in the wrong!

However the mere suggestion that her behavior may have contributed to making her a “target” is usually met with jeers of “Don’t blame the victim!”

On several occasions I have heard the following:

“ I don’t care if a woman walks down the street butt naked no one has the right to rape her!”

(My question has always been: “Is it the smart thing to do?”)

The truth is no one has “the right” to steal from you, attack you, or kill you!

Just because someone doesn’t have the right does not mean we should walk around with blinders on ignoring the reality that there are people looking to prey on those they consider to be weak or naïve. No one gives another person “permission” to abuse himself or herself. It’s not so much about Right or Wrong as it is being Safe or Careless

Pedestrians have “the right of way” and yet we teach children to look both ways before crossing the street. Based upon the analogy of the woman walking down the street butt naked one could also argue you should be able to walk across the street without looking both ways or worrying about getting hit by a car because you have the right of way. It is possible to bedead right”.

There is no 100% effective way to avoid being hurt or taken advantage of.

Under the best of circumstances bad things will happen to good people.

However if we use commonsense, be aware of our surroundings, allow others to “earn our trust” before opening up ourselves we can reduce the odds of becoming a victim. I’m not suggesting we live in a state of paranoia but by the same token let’s not bury our heads in the sand. Our goal is to reduce the odds of being hurt.

Stay alert because your life is too important to go on autopilot.

No one is in a better position to look after your interest than you!

“Knowledge is being aware that fire can burn; wisdom is remembering the blister”

More by this Author

Comments 25 comments

Karonher profile image

Karonher 5 years ago from Liverpool

Good hub. Sadly there are too many people who want to have rights without responsibility. The compensation culture also affects this.

dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 5 years ago Author

Karonher, Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my hub. With freedom comes responsibility.

LadyWriter profile image

LadyWriter 5 years ago from UK

Karonher is right - the 'Compensation Culture' has made life difficult, during the recent bad weather my local council wouldn't clear the footpaths, because if someone slipped the council would be liable - people are always looking for someone to blame for the slightest mishap (and make a few quid); if we all accepted that accidents do happen the world would be a better place. Also why should we have to make sure that everything is locked up and nailed down so that thieves don't steal it? There is a general lack of respect for other people and their property today.

dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 5 years ago Author

Thanks for your comment LadyWriter.

You are right there is a general lack of respect other people and their property.

That's why it's important we remember to stay "aware" as we conduct our lives.

Healing touch 5 years ago

Great hub. I just wrote how I was sexually assaulted at college and want to share with others what I could have done to help prevent it. We have to take accountability. It is called college horror

dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 5 years ago Author

Healing touch, Thank you for your comment and sharing your ordeal with us. If we are able to prevent one person from becoming a victim by reminding them to be "aware" then we have done our part.

SonBeam 5 years ago

Unfortunately, we could talk all day about how we wished things were in our world, but if you want to stay safe you have to stay aware. No one actually has rights without responsibilities. That's living in denial. You may walk down an icy slope without the proper shoes and sue the owner of the slope when you fall. However, you will still suffer the pain of personal injury whether you take responsibility for the fall or not.

dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 5 years ago Author

SonBeam, Very ture! Thanks for your comment.

Ask_DJ_Lyons profile image

Ask_DJ_Lyons 5 years ago from Mosheim, Tennessee

You made some good and very insightful points. Thanks!

dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 5 years ago Author

Ask_DJ_Lyons, Thanks for taking the time to read my hub and posting your comment.

Edlira profile image

Edlira 5 years ago

A very good hub; informative and honest. Alas, the world if far from perfect, so "Better safe than sorry" will always be the case. Cheers, Edlira.

dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 5 years ago Author

Edlira, thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my hub. It's important to remember these things as we go out to socialize on holidays such as New Year's Eve, St. Patrick's Day, and Cinco De Mayo in the U.S. These holidays are especially known to be drinking holidays.

Bad things do happen to good people.

As you said, "Better safe than sorry."

BobbiRant profile image

BobbiRant 5 years ago from New York

This a great hub, so true and good information. I so totally agree. I enjoyed reading this very much.

dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 5 years ago Author

BobbiRant, Thanks for stopping by to read my hub and posting a comment!

writeronline 5 years ago

Couldn't agree more. (As I think you know already). This is very worthwhile, common sense information.

Do you, like me, ever wonder why it's called 'common sense' when it seems frustratingly uncommon?

dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 5 years ago Author

writeronline, You are so right! Commonsense isn't so common anymore! lol

No one wants to take any responsibilty for anything that "happens" in their lives these days. There was a time where taking responsibilty was a sign that we were becoming adults. Counting on everyone else to look out for "our interest" is not a smart way to live. Thanks for your comment and proving that I'm not a "lone voice" on this subject! :-)

Ann Marie Dwyer profile image

Ann Marie Dwyer 5 years ago from South Carolina, USA

Good hub. Working with "Refuse to be a Victim" I have preached, as it were, this very message. More people need to hear it. Thank you, Red.

dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 5 years ago Author

Ann Marie Dwyer , Thanks so much for your comment.

Unfortunately it’s gotten to a point in our society where so many people don’t want to assume the responsibility of being “aware” of their surroundings and potential hazards before making choices in life. As someone once said, “Commonsense is not so common anymore.”:-)

Naomi Rose Welty profile image

Naomi Rose Welty 4 years ago from Savannah, GA

Good hub, dashingscorpio. Thank you for pointing me to it in your comment on my hub.

dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 4 years ago Author

Naomi Rose Welty, Thanks for stopping by and posting your comment. I really do believe most people are not out to blame the victims of crime. Talk of prevention is our attempt to take some control over what might happen to us. I enjoyed your hub as well.

Affinity2010 profile image

Affinity2010 3 years ago from New Orleans, La

Grrrrt Hub... I agree and this kind of hub is very insightful and could help many people keep from becoming victims of some very dangerous crime.... if they read, absorb and listen to sound advice that can save their lives.

dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 3 years ago Author

Affinity2010, Thanks for stopping by and posting your comment!

I thought your hub on this topic was excellent as well. Unfortunately for us most people put more emphasis on being the victim of a crime instead of taking a (reasonable amount) of "precaution" to reduce the odds of being "targeted". Self-empowerment is a tough sell these days! :-)

Jay C OBrien profile image

Jay C OBrien 6 months ago from Houston, TX USA

I agree with this article entirely. We should get smart, be alert and move from danger. Caution, do not get paranoid. Teach your children to walk away from danger.

dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 6 months ago Author

Jay, Thanks for reading my hub and taking time to post a comment.

Sadly we live in an era where being alert, smart, and cautious are not emphasized as much as expecting criminals and abusers to obey laws.

Doing our best as citizens to remove an easy target off our backs should be considered commonsense instead of being seen as blaming the victim.

Jay C OBrien profile image

Jay C OBrien 6 months ago from Houston, TX USA

Common sense is always in style. It applies to every situation. Simple things like checking out the people you go out with or the groups you join should be taught to every child. Common sense would also tell you not to engage in battle. You might get hurt or suffer from PTSD.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Click to Rate This Article