Attraction-killing behaviors: What men do that turns women off

Attraction-killing behavior can get you the thumbs-down in seconds
Attraction-killing behavior can get you the thumbs-down in seconds | Source


To some, attraction is mysterious – more like an art. To others, it is a science – a complex mix of biochemistry and psychology. Taking individual differences into account, there is no law of attraction for men to follow. However, if you want to make yourself more attractive to women, there are certain attraction killing behaviors that you should definitely avoid.


Depending on the woman to lead all the time


Yes, we are living in the modern era, but women do not want a dedicated follower. Taking the lead does not mean being pushy, arrogant or self-important. Instead, it suggests that you exercise your personal authority and influence. For example, instead of asking a woman what she wants to do on a date, have a few suggestions at hand (note – suggestions). Women enjoy knowing what or how you’re thinking; denying them that opportunity is a sure turnoff.


Putting a woman on a pedestal


Women appreciate being treated like a princess, but putting them on a pedestal when you’re interacting with them makes them feel uncomfortable. Particularly if a woman senses that it is only because of her outward appearance, she is likely to be switched off. A woman wants to be treated as a human being above all, so avoid overdoing compliments, gushing like a schoolboy, and treating her like a delicate goddess. That’s a step towards creating a deeper personal connection, which builds on initial attraction.


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Being rude/disrespectful to women


Some clever guys out there hear that women don’t go for the nice guys. So, they try to be rude or disrespectful instead. Sure, that might work on one, two or a few women, but it usually wouldn’t. Women just do not want a guy who is limp and spineless. However, that does not mean exhibiting primitive social behaviors towards them.


Being too available


Being too available suggests that your life is not very interesting and that it is going to revolve around the woman. In other words, it suggests a desperate, clingy or needy man. Is that even remotely attractive? I don’t think so. Don’t agree to tentative arrangements – your time should be more valuable than that. You should not have to pretend that you’re busy when you’re not either – that’s lame. Getting involved in other things besides work is a sure way to make your life more engaging to you and your potential partners.


Being possessive or jealous


A little jealousy might seem cute, but that can easily go wrong. The threshold for tolerance of possessive behavior or jealousy is really small. It signals insecurity and can be downright scary. It’s natural to be a bit jealous from time to time, but avoid letting that spill over into unattractive, stifling behavior.


Trying to impress


If you really want to impress a woman, the best thing to do is avoid trying to impress. Trying to impress usually requires some insincerity or even distortions of the truth anyway. A man trying to impress comes across as a seller of rotten eggs trying to convince buyers that his stuff is guaranteed fresh. It’s not just about being who you are, but also about being confident about who you are. Just be cool and don’t be discouraged if it does not always work. By being confident about who you are, you’ve already set yourself apart from other guys.


Attraction-killing behaviors are the polar opposite of attraction-creating behaviors. Before you can focus on good habits that make you more attractive, it is more important to eliminate the bad ones, which have an opposite effect.


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Comments 10 comments

Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago

SpiffyD, love this article! So many men do not realize that these behaviors are why women send them 'packing'. I am so turned off by a disrespectful, spineless and jealous man.I hope that this article reaches the intended audience. Totally awesome!


SpiffyD profile image

SpiffyD 5 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks for the comment Dr. Ope. I hope that that it reaches the intended audience as well.


rachelsholiday profile image

rachelsholiday 5 years ago

Definitely love this hub, voted up :). I would say that the biggest turn on (meaning, I would want to pursue a relationship with that person) for me is for the man to act like my equal. We're equal partners in the relationship. Rather than one person leading the other we're going side by side to figure it out together.

Luckily for me, my husband is has exactly those qualities. And when he can see it's important to me he lets me lead, lol.


Matty Says profile image

Matty Says 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Never thought about "being too available" as a turn off, but it has a certain logic to it. Obviously, it is going to depend (in some part) on the individual, but being needy is rarely attractive.:)

Nicely summed up Spiffy


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

This is very helpful to all the men out there. I enjoyed reading this and I hope this helps some guys.


SpiffyD profile image

SpiffyD 5 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks Matty and Jeannie. Indeed, there's a fine line between committing to a person and just wanting to do everything with them everywhere. Someone who's too available is as attractive as a mosquito (my apologies to all attractive mosquitoes out there). Thanks for the comments again!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

I was hoping there was going to be a men vs women hub also. Again, very informative. Voted UP and sending it to Twitterville! :)


Nelly A. profile image

Nelly A. 5 years ago

'Being rude" is the most upsetting one. Great hub! Up.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

Spiffy, GREAT read. WONDERFUL advice for ALL men. Wonderful insight as well. Loved the lay-out too. Voted up, useful, funny, awesome, beautiful and interesting. I am a fan and a humble (but assertive--like you suggested) follower. Sincerely, Kenneth Avery, from a rural town in northwest Alabama, Hamilton, that resembles Mayberry, where Andy and Barney worked.


Mary Stuart profile image

Mary Stuart 4 years ago from Washington

Being too available is definitely a killer. it reeks of being desperate. I am a very independent woman so I like my space. That is not to say that I don't also like together time but I really, really need space. I feel smothered easily.

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