Avoiding Divorce-Is It Possible?

Avoiding Divorce-Give Me A Break

Here we go on the topic of avoiding divorce.

Before we can really get into avoiding divorce shouldn't we really know and understand why its happening in the first place. I am going to guess in most cases it really is something simple.

You see in today's society we have made divorce way to easy. Of course we are going to have a high divorce rate when couples can get divorced just for sneezing the wrong way.

Marriage requires effort to succeed and it seems it requires a lot more effort than getting divorced these days.

The world is a different place then when my parents were my age. Oh sure once in a while you heard of divorce but when you did you also realized it was very devastating to the entire family.

Now a days it seems divorce is par for the course, in fact in some cases it almost seems like the thing to do.  I really am not sure where our morals and good beliefs have gone but I really think its time to start looking for them if we have any hope of avoiding divorce these days.

Avoiding Divorce-What About The Children?

Years ago people worked on avoiding divorce just for the children.  Now I am not saying it is right to stay in a relationship just for the kids because trust me, they are not dumb and they know when things are not right.

If you have a good look around though it does seem that kids twenty years ago were affected a lot more by divorce then they are now.  I do have some reasoning behind that and feel free to correct me if you feel i am wrong.

Lets say 25 years ago there were no cell phones, no video games, Much Music didn't exist and so forth.  The kids back then had only a limited amount of things to do and a big adventure was doing things with family.  So when a set of parents did decide to get divorced it was very devastating to all involved.

Well these days its hard to tell if the kids and parents even know each other.  Parents encourage text messaging, video games and satellite television all as a means of babysitting.  I would venture to guess that in most cases the kids don't even know their parents are dealing with issues that could very well end the marriage.

Please don't get me wrong, I am not blaming the kids for having all the toys and luxuries.  Society has done that.  however if we want to look into avoiding divorce we may want to have a closer look at what family actually means.

Avoiding Divorce-Do Celebrities Care?

The people it seems who could care less about avoiding divorce are celebrities.

Hell divorce seems to be the thing to do to keep their names in the tabloids and news.  Oh I'm sure not all of them get married for the wrong reasons but lets face it divorce is way to rampant in Hollywood to not be planned.

It just seems that the stars of Hollywood figure they can make the rules as they go along.  You do have to think that Hollywood is a lonely lonely world when it comes to situations like this.

The only good thing about short Hollywood marriages is that there is almost never children involved.  The entire Hollywood thing is a disaster to start with so adding kids of divorce just wouldn't be healthy.

Avoiding Divorce wasn't even in the cards for the Hollywood stars that you can see on the website 20 Shortest Celebrity Marriages

Avoiding Divorce-How To Do It

At the end of the day we need to realize that divorce isn't suppose to be so easy.  We should be working a lot harder to avoid divorce then working so hard to let it happen.

The problem is that society makes divorce so easy these days that there really is no incentive to work things out.  I mean counseling is a lot more work than signing divorce papers.

People getting married have to stop turning a blind eye to what is happening in society.  We all see the gross amounts of people getting divorced but still we continue to get married even if at the time it doesn't feel like the right thing to do.

When are we ever going to learn.  Getting married really isn't a condition of life.  If you are lonely get a dog. 

Of course there would be less marriages if we put some thought into what we were actually doing.  However in that same breath there would be a lot less divorces as well.

Say what you will and say what you are entitled to.  This hub is based entirely on my opinion and we all have rights to opinions.  Bottom line the point I am trying to get across is more effort needs to be put into avoiding divorce.

Avoiding Divorce-Sometimes Not A Good Idea

Okay when it comes to avoiding divorce there really is a couple times where the avoidance just may not be a good thing.

Of course if you are living with an abusive spouse you will want to get out of that relationship.  I mean abuse of anything.  People who are on drugs, people who hit their spouses or kids or just any type of abuse.

Now if you and your spouse feel you really have put in a concerned effort to save the marriage and it just doesn't seem like it is going to be a good thing then a couple may just have to throw in the towel.

So yes at the end of the day in some rare cases divorce could very well be the best case scenario.

However once again don't let that be your way out if at all possible.  Still in most cases avoiding divorce is the best thing possible.

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Comments 7 comments

lmmartin profile image

lmmartin 6 years ago from Alberta and Florida

Many times people get married without forethought, and find themselves in a state where the marriage simply isn't workable (and not necessarily because of abuse, etc, but because there is nothing to work with.) I think the best way to avoid divorce is to stop all the fairy-tale fantasy about marriage and 'the big wedding.' Particularly young women feed on that aspect, only to end up far from the 'happy every after' they expected.

We need to push the reality of marriage -- it is a partnership, a contractual arrangement, first of all. And like all partnerships, it takes both signees to make it work.

Perhaps that's the problem -- it is work.


Dale Mazurek profile image

Dale Mazurek 6 years ago from Canada Author

I love your responses to my hubs IM, you are so well spoken and very smart indeed. Thank you for once again taking the time to read my hub.

Dale


Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 6 years ago from Upstate New York

I agree with you that people divorce for insufficient cause, because it's easy. They just get tired of their partner and that's it--we're over.

It does take work to stay committed to the same person over time. Both people's flaws are exposed more over time. But I (with you) still think it's worth it because of the mutual level of trust built up more and more over time, and all the things you've done together, all the places you've been together, all the life you've seen each other through.

It may not be happily ever after but it's good enough.


Dale Mazurek profile image

Dale Mazurek 6 years ago from Canada Author

Paradise I am happily ever after. Even after 22 years of marriage I am happier day after day. My love still grows stronger day after day.

Do we have bumps in the road, of course we do but at the end of the day they only make us stronger.

Dale


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

I can only speak about myself. We were going out nine years. Got married. I fought for my marriage for ten years because of our son, which he wanted at first and then didn't want to know. At the end I had to face divorce because he made our life purposely hell. Now, after ten years being divorced, he wants to come back - no way. You can only work things out if both are willing to do so.


Dale Mazurek profile image

Dale Mazurek 6 years ago from Canada Author

Of course Hello sometimes divorce really is the best option. My only point is for many people they get to that option way too fast

Dale


pmccray profile image

pmccray 6 years ago from Utah

Dale your hubs have been so spot on . . too many marry out of lust or miss-directed love. Many women, today, hunt and choose men like prey. Looking for money, status, breeding potential instead of getting to know the person. Men seeking the ever young, curvaceous Barbie doll.

One or both think that after the marriage they'll "fix" the other that rarely if ever works out. Too many women feel that once married couples should be joined at the hip and individuality is kicked to the curb.

I am sure that's why criminal reality programs such as Forensic Files, Snapped and Who in the (bleep) Did You Marry? have so much fodder for their programs. Most show murder on murder between spouses.

We aren't making sure of who we are coupling ourselves with any more. Jumping into relationships, thrusting children in the mist of madness created by adult strangers.

Some are immature, and have no business marrying anyone, some aren't fit to marry ever. Don't even get me started on Hollywood, they're the captains of our moral less society only giving lip-service to what adults should be. Marriage to them is another PR blip, very very few are married for any length of time.

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