Before You Go

Streatham Common
Streatham Common

Before you go, if go you might

Then take with you the dog lead there

For I have need no more to share

Those Autumn walks, when wrapped in mist

You took my frozen fingers once and kissed

And warmed them with your breath; and far

Above us in the darkening sky, a vapour trail; a star.

And below, us three; you, the dog and me

Inseparable, as it had seemed to be.

So take Autumn, star, take mist and sky

And vapour trails and I’ll try

To live without them, in full or part

My fingers frozen then… but now, my heart.

I think you’ll go... I think you might.

Source


Before you go, and go you could

Take from my mind’s eye, lest I reminisce,

The sight of starlings and their dissonance;

Mahonia’s indigo dusted berries in bunches hung

And from them drops of purple juice had sprung;

Berries in massive bunches weighted down.

You voiced one word. I saw you frown,

Concerned… For mid the tumult and the squabbling

The starlings, greedy beaks all gobbling

A tiny wren set up her home in one lone bough

Protected by the sharp and cruel foliage now.

Take from my mind hot morning sunlight on York stone.

Let me forget your love, your gentle look, your tone.

Perhaps you’ll go. I think you could.



                                            Before you go, if go you could,

                                        Remove the door bell from my door;

                                          The door; the step; that I no more

                                    May see it empty, where once you stood.

                           Close down all worldly contact; close down for good

                                        And hush the jangling of my phone

                                      And still the Soprano’s plangent tone

                                               In Verdi’s final Libera Me,

                                          For you and I had wept one day

                                  At its poignant charm. Close my ears that I

                                     Should hear no more a sound, and try

                                           To still the songs of birds; of rain;

                                     For I’ll not hear your sweet voice again.

                                             Before you go, do this for me.

Source



Before you go, and go you shall,

Please take my bed from out my room.

First turn down the covers, then with broom,

Sweep out all memories that I recall

Of sunlight dappled on the wall.

And curtains moving in the breeze

With silhouetted horse chestnut trees.

Take how it was to wake beside

You, gently sleeping by my side.

Remove the sunlight, and the room,

Curtains; dappled light; replace with gloom.

Remove each; not some, but all.

I’ll turn my face towards the wall

Before you go, I know you shall.



Before you go, if go you must

    Take one last look, and mark this well

        A room, a slip of paradise, now hell;

            Two coffee cups, a slice of toast;

                And this the image that pains me most

                    You, gently breathing by my side.

                        And close my eyes and feel beside

                             The pillows where you laid your head.

                                   Replace with stones or boards instead

                                         For I have neither rest nor ease

                                               And in my pain, blot out all these

                                                      For I have nothing but my love;

                                                             This emptiness is all I have.

                                                                       Before you go, if go you must.

                                             Before you go, and go you will

                                        Remove my heart from out my chest

                                           It beats for none else, so let it rest.

                                               If not for you, then bid it sleep.

                                            My eyes are useless but to weep,

                                            Where once their primary delight

                                             Was drinking in the lovely sight

                                Of you. So take my eyes, my breath, my ears,

                                            My mouth, my memory, my fears;

                                                My aspirations and delights

                                           Box them; with ribbon; tie them tight.

                                Then when I am distracted, and to spare me pain

                                Discard them then for I’ve no need of them again.

                                             Before you go… I think you have.

Streatham Common
Streatham Common

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Comments 37 comments

WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Ah, if only we could rip out the memories of years gone by to avoid the pain of loss. Sadly, we cannot.

Beautiful work!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you, Will. This is a little more recent, unfortunately.

Strangely enough, I was just about to embark on your latest hub. That should give me something to concentrate on... I know I'll like it. I always like your writing.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Ian,

This is the best and my favorite yet!!!!..Can so relate and I love it very much!Writing will get us through and then we will climb! This is true talent showing through! Pushing all the buttons...

Hugs,

Sunnie


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you, Sunnie. I just wish it hadn't been sparked off by an impending loss.

Ian


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

I use to write songs and the best ones came when I was crying my eyes out.. Any whoo...I love you! Take care of yourself..I wish it was not so too.

Sunnie


Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie 5 years ago from Euroland

Beautiful Twilight - thank you.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you, Mark. You'll be admitting to being a poetic soul yourself soon.

Have you put a comment box on your wonderful hub to your dog. It was one of the most beautifully restrained but emotional pieces of writing! I'm going to have a look now.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you, Mark. We'll have you admitting that you have a poetic soul yourself, soon. I have just been to look because there wasn't a comment box on your amazingly beautiful, and poetic hub, and yes there is.

And if anybody is wondering what I am yapping (No pun intended) about, go to this for some excellent writing:

http://hubpages.com/hub/In-Honour-of-the-One-I-Lov...


Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine 5 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ...

Just so beautiful, TL ... I found it very moving ... I only wish there was some way I could help with the unwelcome cause of such profound sentiments.

Much love ...


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Sweet water from a bitter well, Angie. But I am really glad you found it beautiful. That makes the writing of it much more worthwhile. Thanks for popping round; you know I enjoy your visits.

Ian


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

My dear - You see, not wasted here, though its depth is the Marianas and may be mistaken for a summer stream. But it's that the beauty of both your words and the sentiments are almost overwhelming.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you, Nellie, my support and my friend. I'm glad you liekd it. I think it really works, and I hope you agree as well.


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

Ah simply beautiful and that last photo was especially wonderful - I just love a carpet of bluebells.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I'm glad you liked it acaetnna. Thanks for dropping by so often and supporting me the way you do. I appreciate your visits and your comments.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Of course it works. It is the epitome of its message and your feelings about loss.

I can't possibly mention all the lines which touch and thrill me, but these are simply exquisite:

So take my eyes, my breath, my ears,

 My mouth, my memory, my fears;

 My aspirations and delights

Box them; with ribbon; tie them tight.

 Then when I am distracted, and to spare me pain

Discard them then for I’ve no need of them again.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you, dearest Nellie. Is it strange to say that when the poet reads his own words; although knowing every word and juxtaposition of phrase and nuance he has used, he still feels the passion and the pain that drove his pen to paper?

I still get tearful when I read it.


Amanda Severn profile image

Amanda Severn 5 years ago from UK

Hauntingly beautiful. Your poetry is a gift.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

And your comments delight me. Thank you for visiting, Amanda. I feel vindicated when I am told such lovely things.

Thank you.


AngRose profile image

AngRose 5 years ago

I'm only sorry you had to endure such pain to create such beauty as this. Would I spare you if I could? Perhaps not, if this is the result of your loss. Because it's far too beautiful for it not to exist. So perhaps I'd only comfort you after the fact. Selfish of me perhaps.

xx


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

What a lovely comment. So very elegant in its wording. I am lucky to have such good friends. Thank you, Angie.

x


Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

Lovely. Coming here has become like dining at a familiar pub: I know I'll be taken care of (poetically speaking) and everyone knows my name (or at least you know my name and we have admiration for each other's work). Either way, it's cozy and enjoyable.

This one reminds me of Oedipus cutting out his eyes rather than deal with the misery of the world. Another song by Bauhaus makes the same allusion. Well done, Ian.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Doug, I love your comments. I suppose I should say, "Cheers!" but that would be too obvious. But honestly, I really look forward to reading what you have said. Your choice of words and mental pictures they bring forth are just perfect; unlike my almost monosyllabic comments, sometimes; "Nice Work! Thanks!" and all that sort of stuff.


Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

"Awesome! Loved it!"

That sort of thing right? I agre; I'd rather someone just start chatting casually in the comment box than leave the positive but boring one-liners.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

Awwwww :( I'm so struck by the emotion of this I don't know if I can keep a critical eye. But I will try. The way you wrote the stanzas kinda like water falling down a hill was fun for my eyes as my mouth was busy reciting this. My shoulders even joined in a bit. And I can see you did not just break lines here and there but thought went into it for ryhme, or pause or emphasis... noted and appreciated. Of course I love the way you flip a phrase upside down so your brain can not just skip over it but must rethink it. Your choice of word pairings always delights me. My favorites from this piece... "indigo dusted berries in bunches hung" and "the Soprano’s plangent tone." But mostly Ian, awwwwww.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you Rabndy. This was one of my poems that I actually planned, but regardless; the emotions and the development of the theme tumbled out and I was literally writing as fast as possible to keep up with it. The actual construction of the first and last lines of each verse could have been trite, but I know they worked. I'm glad you approve.

I hope you don't mind, but I have put this link for your magnificent poem: 'Little Boat', because I feel everybody who likes good poetry should see it.

http://hubpages.com/literature/Little-Boat


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

How could mind :) You're sweet.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Sweet is my middle name... Oops! I forgot. Hugh is my middle name. That's a bit more butch... marginally.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota

Your poem really touched me. Raw emotions of pain, lonliness and sadness of a relationship that is ending. This is something most of us can relate to. I actually feel super sad right now because your writing is so good that I feel I am going through it. Flawless writing:)


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Linda, thank you for coming, and I thank you for being moved by it. It means I have managed to capture what emotions I was going through and make others understand by the words i used.

Please feel free to come again, and enjoy what you find, I hope.


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

The great thing about hubpages is that over time you get a feel for the person through their writing. We can all relate to loss, but describing it so eloquently takes a special kind of skill. It's a beautifully written poem where you have delved deep into the language that we 'writers' love and appreciate so much. Cheers Ian.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Keith, if I were to be honest, I don't know whether I could, or would, admit to using and loving language more than the emotions that good use of language can evoke.

I love the roller coaster effect of raw, yet controlled, emotion and also love the slide into darkness that language can trigger. You are beginning to know what makes Ian tick; I've shown it to you on a plate, often enough. I hope I can surprise you more often than lull you into a sense of familiarity... for familiarity breeds contempt, I've heard.

Blimey Mate! There's a mini hub here.


shygirl2 5 years ago

Wow! What a powerful poem! A love story in itself with hurt, rejection and all those other emotions we often feel when love has chosen another path. Up and beautiful on this one.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you Shy Girl. With comments like that, you are always welcome.

You're always welcome anyway, I like your writing style too. 'Diary Talk' was so well written. Thanks for dropping by.


nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia

this really touched my heart, love is the most wonderful state of being but it can cut deeper than physical wound when its over, and sometimes seeing the end coming is the most painful of it all...

this truly brought a tear to my eye


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Nighthag, I truly love your comments. They are so to the point and deep and show a very kind and a good soul; a poetic soul also. Thank you for these comments, I appreciate them more than you could imagine.

Don't worry; every time I read it I get tearful still!


steve of ian fame profile image

steve of ian fame 5 years ago from Essex

One of my favourites by Ian. I was possibly the first human to hear this creation. Ian at his best.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Bless you, Steve. You were the first... several Norbury Mudhounds heard it before you, but I'm not sure if their appreciation of poetry was what one would expect. Zoki liked long poems dealing with gloom and doom. (My Goodness, how Zoki would have enjoyed the chance that the world was going to end yesterday)

Thanks again Steve. That is a lovely comment from you.

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