Boys & Girls become Men & Women
Let Love Grow Up
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, may I have your attention, please? Just today a truth dawned on me regarding the dating scene and relationships. This is a hub about boys and girls and how they "love" each other, teens and how they "love" each other, young adults transitioning from youth to maturity and how they "love" each other, and finally how mature individuals "love" each other.
Perhaps as a girl you were raised with brothers. Younger or older I can bet competition existed in almost every sense of the word, right? Boys will tease, demean, try to be superior...and sometimes, it goes the other way. Oftentimes, girls raised with boys end up becoming tough skinned and boyish to adapt to such a family environment. What happens when a boy is mean to you at school? Well, that's the oldest scenario in the book; he "likes" you! Right.
Teen-age love is a bit different and yet there is tons of competition. Girls that like the same boy compete. Boys that like the same girl compete. Insecurity runs at a sky-high level causing both parties to seriously control each other. Fighting to keep each other is guaranteed! This is also the stage where boys and girls become young men and women going through puberty and feeling those "puppy love" feelings and yes, sexual desire for each other.
First comes love, then comes.....marriage. Yes, the fantasy of life. Happily ever after. Moms and Dads can't wait for the grandbabies to be born! To see the bride shove cake in the groom's nose is just the start of the playful "competition" that will continue on into the marriage. This young couple will experience both the familiarity (root word "family") of living with a 'brother' or 'sister' as well as the "high school" insecurities and competition in their first years. Sure, marriage may help the insecurity a little, and hopefully the consummation of the marriage satisfies that physical desire both desperately want to enjoy.
"...then comes the baby in the baby carriage!" Ah, responsibility arrives. It never becomes more critical for a couple to nurture their love and remember that as their children begin to show their "pulling hair" kind of love to each other that they also witness grown-up love by the parents. It's so easy to act childish or child-like as young adults.
Men, it's important to remember that a woman is not another guy. She's not your little sister. The woman you love should feel so special as you massage her feet when she gets home. She'll sympathetically take care of your sprained wrist, not laugh like your little sister would. You'll gaze into each other's eyes seeing your future; you'll share the total intimacy of never having to sleep alone; you'll enjoy romantic sunsets together. This is what mature love is.
So many divorces and troubled dating relationships are caused by immature "love". Childish competition, insecurity, and forgetting you're not able to treat each other like a brother or sister to that degree. The couples that make it to old age with a love that's eternal are those that remember and practice all that mature love holds.
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