How To Break Up With Someone (Nicely)
When you've got to get out, here's how.
I think we should just be friends. Let’s take a break. I just need space right now. I miss being happy. I’ve met someone else. The sex is great, but I just don’t love you. Life is too short to make mistakes. You’re someone, just not the one. Yes, I love you, but I really, really hate you too.
When that “It’s not you, it’s me” moment comes in your relationship, don’t kid yourself. You know it’s them. They know it’s them. You might as well have just admitted,” It’s not me, it’s you.” That’s the truth of it. Breaking up is hard to do, but it’s a whole lot easier that staying in a bad relationship.
So how exactly do you break-up with someone without being a bull-shitter or a douche bag? Well, the first step is admitting that most likely the other person is going to be hurt. Chances are you both know that things haven’t been ideal recently, however she or he hasn’t taken the step that you’re about to take, which means they might still have hope. This is the part where you go in and crush that hope because you want to be happy. The fun part comes when you realize that you’re actually freeing them to be happy too—however, for some odd reason, they never seem to see it like that.
Expect at least an hour of “breaking-up-ness.” Tell your gf/bf that you need to have a serious conversation. If he or she asks “why” or “what about,” feel free to say that you’ve decided that you need to end the relationship. Don’t jump around the topic, it’s best to just be straight-forward.
What? Why? How could you? Don’t leave me! What did I do? You asshole!
Yup, you’re most likely going to hear some of this when you do the deed. First things first, try to dump your soon-to-be-ex in person. It makes things a little easier, even though you probably don’t care to see them again. However, breaking things off in person will at least show that you respected the relationship you had. If they try to talk you back into the relationship, hold your ground. There are reasons that you want out and you need to be true to yourself, it’s not fair to go back to dating someone that you have no feelings for anymore just because you feel guilty.
In the end, the best that you can do is to be true to yourself and be respectful of the other person. Once the healing process is over, the two of you will be a lot happier. And happiness, after all, is what it’s all about…Tips For Breaking Up:
*Make sure you tell your boyfriend and girlfriend that you’re breaking up first. Yes, you’ve probably discussed it with close friends, but before you say “we’re done,” make sure you actually are.
*Try to break-up with the other person in person as opposed to email, text messages, etc. It might be harder to do, but at least there will be respect for the relationship you once had.
*Find a private place to break-up. Don’t do it in front of friends or in an unfamiliar place. If possible, do it on their turf so that they can have a familiar location to be vulnerable in.
*Even though he or she might ask for details, try not to be too specific when it comes to explaining why you want to break-up. No one likes to be hit with the why-you-suck bomb. |
*Don’t break-up by just ignoring or disappearing on the person. That’s just disrespectful.
*The sooner you can tell the other person, the better. However, if you find out that they are having a particularly bad day or are hit with a lot of things—try to wait and give them time to sort that out. 1-2 days max. You have a right to move on.
More by this Author
Kissing introHow to Kiss This is an instructable on how to kiss. Kissing can be a hard thing to do until you get comfortable doing it, and while nothing can fully prepare you for a kiss, this how-to will explain some of...