Can You Fall in Love with Someone You've Never Met?

That's an interesting question; however, the answer to that question is not as apparent or straightforward. I can entirely see how you can fall in love with someone you've never met. If you are friends with someone on the Internet and chat with them on messenger programs, for example, you would know what I am talking about. Although, personally, I haven't fallen in love online with anyone, I have felt connected in some ways to people whom I have never met face-to-face.

People generally get attracted to each other based on common ideas, common outlook towards life, common value systems, and similar views on important issues. If you happen to know someone over the Internet, you can sometimes feel connected if your views match theirs. Also, you might like their sense of humor — this does come through no matter what the medium, whether it's speech, chat, or text. So, face-to-face contact isn't as essential in knowing the other person. One can even argue that not having face-to-face contact can have certain advantages. You may not judge the other person for their physical looks per se, but may get in touch with them on a deeper emotional level.Consequently, I would think you could theoretically fall in love with someone you've never met in person.

But, could such a love stand the test of time? Would such a love overcome the potentially high expectations generated by an online or virtual personality? Certain personality traits may not be visible or apparent in the online domain. Would such a love, then, be able to come to terms with the reality of physical imperfections or deficiencies? These are important questions to consider when one falls in love over the Internet, via the phone, or any other medium where the two lovers can't meet face to face.

Source

Loving Someone You Haven't Met — Living A Fantasy?

Assuming that a couple has met over the Internet or over the phone, the more interesting thing that I'd like to know is: what would be their reaction when they do in fact meet in person for the first time. You may like their thoughts/views on various subjects and like the online person you've met, but what if the person turns out to be, well, not as attractive physically when you first meet them. Can you overlook that fact and love them the same way as you did before you met?

Even though most people say (to be politically correct more than anything else) that outward beauty doesn't matter to them, generally most people value beauty in a potential partner. So, while it is possible that you can fall in love with someone you've never met in person, it is not as possible to predict whether you would in fact remain in love with that person once you've met them, especially if that person turns out to be not so attractive (based on your standards of attractiveness).

Also, when you do in fact meet a person face-to-face, you may discover many things about him/her that you hadn't quite anticipated. Perhaps, he/she has some embarrassing habits that you hadn't quite anticipated, or perhaps he/she has some irritating quality that wasn't apparent to you before through his/her online persona. So, while you can fall in love with someone you've never met, whether you stay in love with that person is quite another matter.

There is also the potential problem of anonymity and people who mask their true identities online. You may have very good, honest, genuine intentions and want real love, but can you be really sure that the other person with whom you are chatting to or speaking with shares those intentions? For all you know, the other person may be twice the age he/she actually claims to be, he/she may be married and claim to be single, they may be showing you pictures of someone else but may claim that the person in the picture is in fact them. How can you be sure?

The online world is a world of escape for some people and many just come online to live a world they can't live in the real world. So, they may just log in and claim to be someone who they are not, but you have no way of knowing that. To me, this is the biggest problem that a person who connects with another person online faces.

So, while you may fall in love with someone you've never met physically (and it is quite possible), the more important question that you should be asking is if you truly have fallen in love with a real person (who exists in the real world) or an online mirage that's a figment of someone's imagination — someone who is just in it for the fun of it, maybe just to find someone to get physical with, or someone who is not as serious about finding love as you are?

A lot of heartbreak can be avoided if during the initial stages of a potential online relationship you insist on seeing the person you are chatting with on cam, rather than settle for pictures, which may be of anyone and not necessarily of the person who is chatting with you. Also, look out for avoidance behavior, like committing to something that may expose their true identity and then backing out repeatedly. For example, if the person you are chatting to is repeatedly promising to meet up with you or cam and then avoids it, there may be a strong possibility that they have something to hide — something they do not want you to find out about them. Maybe that "something" is that they are not really who they've been projecting to you on chat.

So, hope for the best, but expect the worst to save yourself some heartbreak. Online love does happen and has happened for many, but so have online heartbreaks, and I certainly don't want you to join the ranks of the heartbroken ones.

Have you fallen in love with someone you've never met? If so, I'd like to hear. Feel free to share your experiences by leaving a comment below, as countless others have!

© 2009 Shil1978

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Comments 444 comments

Tess 3 months ago

Yes I believe that's true. I met someone on an fb fanpage and the moment I saw her fb posts, there some kind of an instant spark. I left a message and she return my message in an instant as well, seem having that same feeling of instant spark. On that same day we share ourselves and it was fun for we have same wavelength, shares common interests and share life dramas and achievements in life... since that day, we chatted for long hours everyday, day and night, found comfort with each other, shared honest photos and happenings in our daily lives. We enjoyed each other and yeah I think this is love already for we are always missing each other. i never felt so happily connected and in love like this before to anyone. a day without us chatting feels like hell... we will be meeting soon and I am so excited about it... and guess what? she is a lesbian and I never loved like this before to any man...love has no gender I strongly believe...


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 9 months ago Author

It's never ever safe to assume anything 'ConfusedGuy.' You need to get her to confirm that she is in fact single. It doesn't matter if her answer is that she's already taken - you need to know that.

Without that, you are just living in hope and how long would you want to drag out that hope, knowing all the time that your hope may be misplaced.

The fact that she hasn't mentioned anything about a partner could be entirely due to her personal choice to not bring that topic up. I mean why would she want to bring that up unless you're talking something specific about that part of her relationship?

If the conversation even moved along that path, maybe she'd open up about that. Try talking about her kid, if she feels comfortable doing so. That line of conversation can eventually lead up to a conversation about her partner, if any.

That may be your best shot to confirm! Best of luck :)


ConfusedGuy 9 months ago

I've been talking to a women online for a couple months(not for dating but something entirely different). On the side we've began chatting and I've found myself developing some kind of feeling's towards her (not sure what yet)....

She's mentioned that she has a kid which doesn't bother me at all (actually maybe a little, read on to find out why).

We have met briefly in reality once (in regards to the original reason we started talking) so i know she's who she said she is, and i hope she knows I'm who i say I am.

It's funny because I started developing the "feelings" prior to meeting her and at that point i had no idea what she looked like or if we were even compatible so i repressed them as much as i could(I had to, what if she turned out to be 60 and me 20?), but then we met and we're the same age and what do you know the emotions are showing up again....

Here comes the tricky part, beyond the harmless flirting and intellectual connection we share, the conversations don't really give me much info about her personal life (dribs and draps), overall i do get a pretty decent picture of her "personality", I really want to know more though but i can't go asking intrusive questions either.

I know she has a child which she has mentioned numerous times, but not once has she mentioned already having a partner. Is it therefore safe to assume that she's single? I'm hesitant to ask straight out since if she's already 'taken' it could ruin the original reason I began to communicate with her (which is rather important), but on the other hand if she is single and receptive i may have found myself a kindred spirit.

I'm kinda stuck and not sure what to do!

ANY advice from anyone (even 'Shil') would be great


Arnsi 15 months ago

I met girl in online game, we are talking more then 1 yr now. At first we saw and talk with each other when you need to do things in party and it was just "hi". Couple months later we started to talk more and more we spend 3-4 hrs just talking in game chat. We live in difrent countrys but not far (1000 km) so in jokes i told her i will come to see friend when i have money.

5 months ago she suggested that we start texting on Viber, 1 month after that she wanted to talk with me on Viber and i said why not. First few calls was couple min long but after that all our talks where more then 2 hrs long, we even talked late at night (until 5 am).We even send pictures to each other where we are, what are we doing, pictures of us (selfies). I noticed when we where textin on viber that I am happier there was smile on my face and others noticed that after some time when i hear noise on phone i was telling to my self "please be her".

In this 1 yr we had fights about lots of things I even wanted to quit game and leave but something always keep me in game. But most of the times it was fun to talk with her, when we where texting in game she told me that she have boyfriend and i was ok with that because i didn't had any feelings for her at that time. But everything changed when she told me 2 weeks ago that for the last 4 months (Viber talks started) she is in sexual relationship with other guy and she broke with her boyfriend.

Everything changed after that I started to think more about her, what happend with me, why i have this fellings, why she started to talk with me when she had someone. 5 days ago i told her how i feel that those feelings are maybe more then friendly, she said that she have feeling for me to but dont know what those feelings are. I asked her if i come to her country to meet would she come to see me. She said that she is scared and she start to talk about all scenarios that could happend but never mentiond falling in love if we meet she would just stoped talking for couple min and changed topic, i asked couple of times about falling in love scenario but she didnt answer anything.

I am single for last 3 yrs mostly because work and almost all friends get maried and some have kids maybe because all of this i started to feel something to her, she is really nice and funny pearson i really like to talk with her but i am not sure what to do now.

Sorry for long post but i had to tell all this


Maria 16 months ago

I was on Omegle like 5 years ago then I met this guy. He was 15 at that time, and I was 19. At first I thought we're just friends after adding each other Facebook account, because he was way too young for me. We continued to talk on Facebook, rarely. Then 3 years after that we started talking again but just the same like the first; it's an on-off communication. Late June this year he chatted me again on Facebook. We were sharing about how life is going and stuffs. Then we continued talked via WhatsApp and Skype.

The talk became more intense until I smelled something for him. I mean, I thought that he likes me. On July, he confessed to me that he has feelings for me. He loves me. At first I was kinda shocked because I never thought that it would end up like this. The truth is, I also have feelings for him, but I dunno what to do since we're separated 15,800 km away and he's still in university while I already have a job. I told him that I can meet him physically 2 yrs from now because of the contract with the company I work at, and he's also busy with univ and project at his univ. I can feel that his love is so strong and said that he doesn't mind to wait for me that long.

We enjoy being lovers at this time, and I hope, forever.


Parfum 16 months ago

Okay so I am falling in love with a guy I met in an internet game called habboon.com (a habbo retro). We met in a room with bunch of other players and it was New-Year's Eve that time. He saw me in a fight with a teenage boy debating if forever really existed. He saw me throw lines and also saw my defeat. After that, he started talking to me that I am different among other girls. He told me I didn't flirt and I act smart even in an internet game. I was shocked and tried to avoid him but I ended up adding him in Facebook with our fake accounts and always starting an arguement. I always told him that he better leave me alone because he just met me in the internet but surprisingly after about a few months still, he's there by my side. He even begged for me to appreciate him because I treat him like a trash. I warmed up a bit because I realized that I'm really acting so bad to him. After that he told me that he developed some feelings towards me. He told me that he likes me. He is happy chatting with me. We also exchanged pictures and accepted each other's physical appearance. After that, I need to stop opening my fake account and also to stop playing this game because I have a grade to maintain in school. After a few months I came back and started a conversation with him. We admitted that we missed each other and I asked him some questions like "how's your love-life?" He answered that ever since I left he couldn't move on. He tried to find someone like me but he told me it was a stupid thing to do, forcing yourself to fall in love with someone you think the same as the other. Eventually, he stopped and settled for nothing until we communicated again (just yesterday). He confessed that he still likes me and left his heart broken. He loved me but he didn't tell me because of the way I treated him. I felt sorry and angry to myself. How could I do that to my own feelings? Ignore them and be cold-hearted? I feel sorry for that guy. I became judgemental and didn't believe his words. I found some of his friends and realized that he was a good guy afterall. I confessed the way I feel, that I fell in love with him. Okay, should I continue this?


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 19 months ago Author

I hope for the best for both of you, Rozie. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experience :)


Rozie 19 months ago

I have met someone online and at first it was a sexual thing, but then it has grew into something more. We now talk all the time, we send pics of each other. We love listening to each other talk. We laugh together. We will meet shortly and see what happens.


joandamelie profile image

joandamelie 19 months ago from earth

thumbs up! n hope the best...au revoir ...


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 19 months ago Author

I am happy that you've finally realized what the problem is with the approach you had to this so far. You've summed it up pretty well. My best guess is he has his ex on mind still. Men are more forthcoming with expressing their feelings and the fact that he has not expressed his love for you in 17 months (1-1/2 years) says a lot - that he probably still hopes for his ex to come back and considers you a friend.

For you, I think, therefore, it's best to move on with your life and keep him as a friend. Don't expect anything in terms of love from him. That's the best thing for you I feel. If you feel that you're getting no closure and can't just move on still, then tell him and hear the answer from him to be 100% certain (in your own mind) that he had no feelings for you.

That would give you complete closure and allow you to move on. Either way, I am happy you have the situation much clear in your mind now. All the best, dear. I am sure you have lots of love waiting for you - him or someone else - but there will be. There are lots of good people out there and people can fall in love multiple times. So there's hope no matter what happens in this case. Keep your chin up and be positive :)


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joandamelie 19 months ago from earth

You are really sensitive !!! thanks a lot ! God bless you !

the problem is really that one...i dont want to be involved with any other guy as i feel this online boy is on mind on a finer note...and i keep on feeling...may be waiting can be fruitful one day....he himself had been waiting for his ex to come back almost for 7 yrs and it has been merely a disappointment for him...

yes...if really this friendship matters to both it will have no end..

many people have their individual love perception... for me to be the best friend is to love ...it's all about closeness...but to him friendship and love both are different...he has his own notions and i have mine...

however the question in my mind perhaps is over...i probably in a light mood am going to tell him or ask him... yes there will be heart wrenching cry...yet i'll be better...may be will be metamorphosed as a more mature, more beautiful creature... true love makes us beautiful they say...

thanks again Shil......


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 19 months ago Author

If you can move forward without expressing your feelings and you are completely fine with that, then that'd be fine. However, from your previous post it seems like the uncertainty of whether he loves you or not is affecting you a lot. And that is not healthy. I mean if he felt the same way towards you, he may have said he loves you. After all, it has been 17 months, hasn't it?

To move on, you need to know this chapter is closed in terms of love. Are you sure you feel that this chapter is closed love-wise? For example, you meet another guy in your city and have strong feelings for him, would you go ahead with him and not wonder about this online guy? If yes, then don't say anything. However, if no, then you need closure.

Friendship may or may not be affected. Each case is different. It depends on the two people involved, how it affects them post a confession of love. I am afraid but I cannot guarantee whether a friendship survives post expression of love by one person. You have to be prepared for either situation.

However, in my personal opinion, you should take that risk. I am sure if the friendship is really strong on its own, it will survive.


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joandamelie 19 months ago from earth

do u think i should say...it may spoil all the frndship... may be i better not ask and move forward... sometimes things should be hinted and left out...no, none has given any hint...so it's really odd...what do u think? nd really thanks for ur insightful thoughts, comments, suggestions...


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 19 months ago Author

Hi joandamelie,

Well, it seems to me that he has much less emotional involvement in this relationship than you do. As hard as it may be to break it to you, I have to be honest in saying that he may in fact not love you. That may probably be an expectation that you have than the reality. He may be just wanting to be friends with you.

Now, the question is, how do you know for sure? I think you know the answer to that - by expressing your feelings to him honestly. There's no other way you can be 100% sure whether he loves you the way you love him, or he considers you to be a friend and nothing more. You can never say how things may turn out once you express your love for him.

It may be that you are blessed with a positive answer and I'm sure that would make you the happiest person in the world. However, it may also be that he tells you he considers you a friend and nothing more. If that happens, there's a possibility the friendship may not remain the same. The friendship may not change, but you can't be certain of that. That's a risk you have to take, and one that I think you should take rather than live with the constant uncertainty about what your relationship with him is, from his perspective as well.

It's necessary for you to know one way or other for the betterment of you. As hard as it may be, if there is no love in this relationship, you would have to move on. And by not expressing your feelings, you are wasting away time hoping, expecting, maybe in the end to only be disappointed. So go on and express how you feel to him and maybe you will have a positive answer, but even if the answer is negative, at least you wouldn't have to guess anymore.

That is what I think is the best for you. Just remember, many of us have gone through many "No's" in love before we've found our soul mate, so the world doesn't end if his answer is a No. But I hope for the best for you.

Best of luck, dear!


joandamelie profile image

joandamelie 19 months ago from earth

I want ur opinion guys...pls tell me...is there love in him for me? is it possible?


joandamelie profile image

joandamelie 19 months ago from earth

great reading...thanks all...am not still sure of falling in love online...i think it depends...a person must be careful enough not to be vulnerable emotionally while chatting online...but same is true to a real life relationship, many times ppl fail to catch the cheater or catch the want of emotions on the other part....a face-to-face relationship gives scope to understand the emotions through various things like body language, eye contacts, real life situations...which are not possible online...but likewise online relationships can be read sometimes through the type of language used while chatting, the frequency of conversation...so all over it depends. i am chatting regularly with a guy for last 17 months...coincidentally we started talking casually at the time while both of our ex's after cheating us and dumping us badly enough were going to get married to their 'true' lovers (huh)... both of us had been through severely bad phases...and since that day we have never left each other's side...i like him from the day 1... he had been from the same town but he is living in other state of our country...i can share with him the dumbest of my thoughts...it's not that we don't scold each other...or are not bored with each other...yet it is going on...i feel i am deeply connected with him...sometimes he becomes too much protective about his private space and he has strict inflexible notions about it...and many times i am hurt with his words and he probably doesn't get it : how deeply i feel hurt about it...many times i have thought that it's only me on one end and there's no one else on the other...but amazingly enough he had been there...not letting loose the thread...i have no idea about his feelings...probably he considers me a very good trustworthy friend of him ...and perhaps we are not still over with the traumatic feelings of our past...we have shared our deepest of feelings and i really feel lucky as he has allowed that much space where i have felt him uniquely although it hurts me too when sometimes he suddenly draws an unseen barrier line around him and doesn't allow me to be close emotionally...yet i think i don't want to lose this friendship, and i feel he feels the same...neither of has asked for phone no's or mail id's..never we have done any video chat, nor we have ever planned to see each other...nobody has promised anything to the other...yet it's there unwritten, undeclared...whatever it is...this friendship matters to me deeply..it has brought a lots of positive changes in me silently, it has given me control over my emotions, infatuations, silly thoughts...i also have seen him to change a lot, i don't know if he notices it or not...whatever...


joan 19 months ago

hi...thanks all


lisa 20 months ago

Hello well im very confused here i met my friend online we been talking about 11 months now i never met him in person the funny thing is he have tried to ask to c me but we never really hooked up but i have reached out to him but its like when i was ready to meet up with him he act like he was doing stuff but my thing he is a aries and he has a temper he gets mad when i dont pick up sometimes and texts my phone saying mean stuff and that confused me but he also say he is in love with me how is that possible we never met but i can say i do got feelings for him but why when i ask him to send me a pic he blow me off but i have been on his page where there is a pic up and family and friends of he's are commenting on im very lost pls help..


Sharon 20 months ago

I met a man online 5 months ago and we fall in love. We chat, video Skype everyday, he then promise me to come to India to meet me. However, as the days comes nearer, he text me saying his holidays aren't approve from his work. So we decided to apply the fiancé visa, but as days goes by, I feel that he is ignoring me with many excuses. He promised me that he's gonna be loyal and won't chat or talk to any other woman. But I was taken aback when a lady from phillinines text me on fb saying the same promises were made to her too by the same man. Please help, he still talk to me and chat with me.


Olivia 20 months ago

I fell inlove with someone online , after months we met only to realize he is disabled. I did not run on the same day but weeks later i disappeared. I am so sorry if i am rude .


nicholas 20 months ago

I fell in love online with a woman I got to know on a dating site. I live in New Zealand and she lives in the Caribeann. We chatted long distance for quite some time. She's real gorgeous but I began to find out she lies about everything under the sun, and she's got some mental health issues so yeah. Online dating has a few risks.


confused me 21 months ago

about 5 years ago my friend introduced an online game to me which i played for like 2 months and left. but after a year or so i had a one year break from college due to health problems. during that time, i started playing the game again..i made a few friends there but i always hid my real identity. im a straight girl, who was also a straight girl in the game, but i always hide my country just to be careful. after a year i gt back to college and stopped playing the game. after graduation, i started studying in an university outside my state for my master degree, where i met my best friend, who is straight. but during the course of our friendship we got really close and ended up in some what of a relationship. but after getting our degrees we had to go our separate ways as we are from different states though we are from the same country. she got married and i moved on. and this is where the real story gt in.

before getting a job, i was having alot of free time so i started playing the game again. but this time out of curiosity i started playing as a bisexual character. and of course i hid my real country again just to be safe. But then, i met this girl from another country whom i happened to have an instant connection with. we chatted and become good friends. she is a lesbian and we started dating in the game. i thought it would just be a fling and nothing serious. but as time passes, i gt to really like her. perhaps love her even. i have seen her pictures and she has seen mine too. its been more than a year now and we had our ups and downs. but somehow always ended up together again. everything i told her about me is true, except for the country i hail from. so when she ask me about the weather, places to visit etc it feels really odd and i always try to avoid it. i dont think she suspect me of anything wrong but im so ashamed and always feel guilty. during the course of a year..sometimes, she would stop talking and be offline for days, and sometimes even weeks without telling me specific reasons. and i would get suspicious but she told me she loves me and that work and busy schedule gt her away from the game. i want to be so much more to her in real life. We have even talked of meeting in real life too. And I am ready to fly over countries just to get to her.. but i cant find the guts to tell her about the truth. she knows i love her dearly. and i think she loves me too. but im scared if i tell her the truth, i would mess everything up of what we have..i know we are special but im confused of what to do. I don’t want to lose her


tooconfused 22 months ago

I meant he'd be mad at me, if I tell him that my name is different, and he actually knows how I look. I wanna tell him though. I really want to be with him. And yeah, we've confessed that we love each other.


Tooconfused 22 months ago

I met him 2 years ago. He doesn't know how I look, but I know how he looks. we talked nd talked and talked, and after a year he fell for me. I think I love him too. We both have confesses this, but we can't be in a relationship because it isn't the right time, for me. I'm 17, and he's about to be 16. I trust him when he says he loves me, i think he loves me alot, as he says. Can you believe it? He doesn't even know how I look! I just wanna know whether it is possible. And one more thing, I started talking to him through a friend's account, and her account doesn't have any picture. However, I'm friends with from my real account. So he knows the real me, just not that I'm the same person he's been talking to for these 2 years. I need help. I really wanna tell him, but he'd be at me. I don't wanna lose him. Help?


Rie 22 months ago

Hi, i am in a long distance relationship with someone i haven't met for 3 months now. I met him on a chatting platform called Wechat. We have been planning to meet but something happened at home or at work. I have only seen his profile pic and he has seen many of my pics. We haven't talk on the phone either as he is working on the sea and the wifi is bad. I have been very patient but people around says that he is not real. I just feel so connected with him that's why i am still waiting to meet him as he has promised me.My instincts tells me to trust him and be patient. Am i being stupid?

Please tell me what i should do... T_T


anonymous 23 months ago

i am inlove with a guy online ... he is my distinct relative and nothing of brother sister sort of... we know each other well but havent met yet... i really dont care how he looks but am very afraid that he will like me or not as i know he is concerned with looks...


Lainee 23 months ago

I have read some of the comments in this page, and its good to see different stories about falling in love with someone whom you've never met ever since you have your communication through online or phones.

i do also have similar story. We've been texting five years ago, we have our exchange of numbers in a free chat promo in our phone. after exchanging of numbers since then we have been texting for a long time.

its true that every stories has its unique ways to flow, among all the stories that i have scanned in this page.. most of them after texting each other, few days, weeks, or month is the most late time that they are already prepared to meet each other, the difference in my part is that for the whole five years that we are texting, we talked about meeting up but then it was never been a serious topics.

for the 5 yrs that we are texting each other, another issue is we are living in the same city, but he studying far from there. But he always went home every vacation, still we cant have time to meet.

i already know some of stuffs that is important to know for somebody that i am interested in. we are completely opposite but then we understand each other in many aspect. it seems that we have this commitment. but we are not totally in relationship, though we acted like in gf and bf thing.. the concerns are there.. and i felt comfortable in his company anyway, on how we exchanges our sweet thoughts, dreams and everything under the sun.. i am happy but then there are point in time that im longing for a something level up approach that he will ask me to go for a date.. in a serious moment..

i am still hoping for us to see each other face to face. for the years have passed that we have been intimate best friends ever, i am looking forward after our college graduation next year.

more power to this page! and thank you for the chance of encountering each stories that inspires me most!

God bless!!! Shil1978


Kaitlyn 2 years ago

Falling in love with someone that you have never met before I don't think is impossible.. A couple months back I met this guy on this website app we talked constantly almost evry day and he made me feel so special . I felt like I had such a strong connection with someone that I have never entirely met but just talking to him on the phone and texting back and forth I started to feel like he was soo much closer to me than he actually was . I seriously don't know why I feel this way and dont know why I have so much feelings for him if I actually never even met him and don't know his personal traits all together . But evry time we talk it feels so special even though its so far away .. And even when he doesn't talk to me hes always on my mind like I miss him or something . When we don't talk for a few days I feel almost teary eyed cause I miss his attention .. Is this all normal lol I feel like I'm goin crazy


Sandy Bee 2 years ago

They said "distance" is reason to love each other more. Yes, it does happen. It happened to me. Still convincing myself that this is real, I never imagined this would happen to me. It's crazy in an almost surreal way. It toughens you up, soften you a bit and just makes you vulnerable to all types of pain but hey.. you get over the little things faster than normal couples do. Wait a minute, I can't be so sure. Yup, because we haven't met each other. But everything is worth trying just to be with that one person you makes you feel like no other.

Two things I am concerned for this article is (1) repeated mention of attractiveness and (2) annoying habits other person do. Maybe this article is meant for people in flirting stage. Because people who are in a commitment tell other people these things (habits and stuff), like it's a daily log, to compensate for not seeing each other.

For attractiveness - I believe very few people nowadays focus on what's seen by the eyes. If love is true, (spoken like I was never a love agnostic HA), they see past the physical. But yes you have a point, that's a very good point about knowing the real person and the perceived image that was "forced" or was planted into your mind, "imagined" one would say.

LDR exists, yes, and it's not for the fickle minded. Don't recommend it. It's so refreshing however, that few people are in LDR, meaning this is not common, it takes twice the effort, (patience too) and I hope this will all fall in right place. I've never been in love before, and it's so daunting I did with someone I haven't met. BUT MIND YOU, he is my destiny, my future, just happened to know him earlier before our destined eye contact. HA. I was sad about our distance and stumbled upon this. Thank you for the article. Let em hearts be broken online, so they'd learn.


gray cat 2 years ago

yea i have. we've been friends for almost five years, but lost contact for three years. just talked again a couple of months ago and damn, this is killing me, cuz he has his gf, and doesnt want to travel cuz he's afraid he'll fall for me too. and that would suck, because we live very far away


Nathan 2 years ago

I have a bestfriend who works in cruise ship, He is a FB addict. One day i check his news feed and find he has a lot of new friends. I was instantly attracted to this one guy and invited him to add me on FB, this was almost two years ago. He did add me to his thousand list of friends. I sent Him a dozen messages but only once i did receive a reply from Him. and then something happen…one month ago when he started sending me messages, after years of not noticing me online, that made me almost forget about His existence on my FB, i asked Him "why only now you remember me?"…and he answered "because i don't know you" and told Him about our common friend that He met during His family vacation on cruise 2 years ago.

Then i told Him that I'm Gay, and that I'm attracted to Him. He did accepted my invitations on Skype, we exchanged numbers, so we can call each other on Viber, FaceTime, iMSG, whatsapp. Days past, and we develop this kind of connection that i never did expect to happen ever, all I want is simple…to be recognized by someone i was physically attracted to. but what i have now is more than and beyond what i want. Everyday we are calling each other, knowing each other more, exchanging views in life, telling our whereabouts like crazy. I discover that the effects of physical attractiveness is skin-deep but personality is the real deal. I know the word is crazy but who cares if you are happy …they always say that one should accept joy even if you are afraid that it might end one day.

By the way He lives in Italy and I'm in Jordan. Two different races, far away from each other and yet dreaming of one day.


Ghostgirl 2 years ago

I have been with my boyfriend now for 2 months, as i wrote before, we exchanged emails for one year before we met. Only be together for 12days in this two months, three times. Now i felt confused,he is quiet,careless,less orgnized..being with him, i felt bored, not important to him,no passion,no surprise, no romantic.. what should i do now? any suggestions will be appreciated..


Ghostgirl 2 years ago

I have been with my boyfriend now for 2 months, as i wrote before, we exchanged emails for one year before we met. Only be together for 12days in this two months, three times. Now i felt confused,he is quiet,careless,less orgnized..being with him, i felt bored, not important to him,no passion,no surprise, no romantic.. what should i do now? any suggestions will be appreciated..


Kandypop profile image

Kandypop 2 years ago from Australia

Ahhh the internet exactly! I chatted with a guy online dating and fell in love with him, a whirlwind in my mind of intense and extreme excitement for weeks, he lives in the opposite end of the country to me so I flew to meet him, after we met he decided that I was not right for him, I accepted that and wished him well. We have not seen each other since, every 3 months or so he sends me a text or a facebook message. I now live in another country. Once he sent me a message, all it said was 'Hi' and I immediately broke up with the guy I was with in 'real life' because I have this fantasy land idea that we will actually be together in real life, every time I hear from him I think about him for days, the intensity and excitement I feel when he contacts me gives me enough energy to thrive on for weeks, then I inevitably come down and mentally have to release the notion of ever having a real life relationship with him again.

This has been going on for 17months now, and I am absolutely dumbfounded as to what the heck is going on in me for me to behave this way? To still feel so intensively in a la la land over a person I only met once? Thoughts of him make me smile. Though I need to get a serious reality check now and allow my mind to let the fantasy go so I can have a physically present person in my life. If it hadn't happened to me, I would never be able to understand the depth of creation of a fantasy that has no basis in reality, though seems so intensely real.

I am looking for jobs back in my home country and his city to be near him, I haven't told him and I wouldn't. This is insane behaviour. However... Everyone needs a driving force - maybe he is mine? reality or fantasy it has been am amazing journey.

It is now time to release it all again. Oh life and Love...


Mary 2 years ago

Things definitely get complicated when work is involved. A member of my committee for my PhD defense participated by skype - never met him before. I instantly liked him, but no attraction. But who the hell is thinking about those things in a PhD defense? We talked briefly after the defense (which was brutal) on email then spoke on the phone later that week to discuss research stuff. We both have the same smart-ass sense of humor that came out in the emails and drew each of us in. We exchanged some sporadic emails the following week, but then they became more frequent until we were up to 4-5, sometimes 15 exchanges per day. I never laughed so much in my life. We exchange personal stories, talk about science, he offers professional advice, we exchange funny videos...he slipped up once and flirted. One flirtatious statement – that’s it. Me, I flirted much more – something that I probably should not have done.

We are friends and, for the most part, talk like friends, but in my head I crossed that line. Because we'd been so honest, I told him that I have been thinking about him a lot. He went on about what a great person I am as a colleague, friend and how much he values our personal and professional relationship. The professionally safe shit to say. But, how do you email someone pretty much around the clock, even to just exchange funny videos or stories, and NOT have that person constantly in your head? Also, if you know someone is falling for you, why would you keep up the contact if you keep pointing out how important the professional relationship is? I asked him what the hell is going on his head finally just before he left for a trip with no email access. A week more to try to get him out of my head before I assume it will start up again.

I don't know if this is love. I'm going to work with this guy in the future (in person) for a period of time so I know I should drop it, but it's been 5 weeks and I've thought about little else. We are both married so the pressure for this to go anywhere is nonexistent. I just can’t believe how I can feel so strongly about someone just from email after a “fairly neutral” interaction on skype. He is cute but I don’t think I would have given him a second glance at a science meeting. I would never have known what a warm, super intelligent, witty, caring, hysterically funny…utterly beautiful man he truly is. Aaaaah, the internet….


Anonymous 2 years ago

Yes, I think I am. I'm usually not the one to say this. In fact, I'm usually the one that is realistic and careful and tell others that don't think you're in love until you've dated for at least a year. Even then, the true test of love is that it never gets boring and never fades. It's easy to start a relationship, but it's hard to maintain it. Even knowing all of this, for some reason my heart is not listening to my brain.

This is the first time. I've already had a serious relationship before and I've had dates with other girls before. However, this girl I met online is different. I just talk with her and I feel like I'm in a trance. There's never a dull moment. We've talked on video chat, so it's not like I don't know what she looks like. We have each other on facebook too.

She likes the same music, tv shows, movies. She's opinionated, knows how to use memes in a joke, etc. She has agreed to meet me for coffee, but one thing stands in the way - parents. Her parents have found out about us. She comes from a traditional family and is still in college.

Maybe one day we'll meet. I hope so, but for now, I'm happy that I met her and that I'm in her life. I'm just happy to talk to her from time to time. If anyone else actually heard these words coming out of my mouth, no one would believe them haha. I'm pretty cynical about these things.


eralwesr 3 years ago

I need some serious advice on this.....

I met this women on craigs list and we have only emailed each other for a week now. She has told me so much through emails.

I have had a kinda rough life, bit of trouble with law and such things . And I have not really done much with my life since then. but before I met this women I started to change my outlook and ways. My life seems to have started to turn around. Still not much going for me though besides a few things.

So we have emailed every day some days multiple times. I have been completely honest with her and have told her everything bad about my past. I have just been me and have tried to hide nothing.

She is a great person from everything she has told me and very beautiful from the pics she has sent me. The last few days she has been coming on very strong. I feel the same way about her as she is expressing to me but it just seems so fast I have never felt this, this fast.

I think there has been some things I consider fishy/weird I have noticed in the emails, but they are also easily explained as well. I have done a little searching to see she is who she says she is, and she has been honest from what I can tell.

She is saying we need to meet very soon. She keeps talking about marriage and kids. This is what I want and have always wanted. I just know this is way too fast but I feel the same way she does. I also know she could do better then me. I am scared that someone is f@#king with me kind of. Also worried about some scam type thing.

I don't know what to think of all this I would just like someone's opinion on weather or not this is most likely real or not. because these feelings I am starting to have sure feel real. Also what should I watch out for in this situation?


Ghostgirl 3 years ago

I think i'm in love someone i haven't met yet. Because i can't stop thinking about him all the time, can't stop expect his emails, and his email always brighten my day.

But we have never met, we've been contact for 4 years, frequently sharing emails for almost one year, we have been sharing our stories happened in life, our pictures, outdoors views,work stuff... Was really good feeling that you can have a friend for talking and sharing for many things. Untill one day he told me that if i don't mind being who i am, that i'm always light up his heart... my feelings for him magicly started to change...very slowly, because i was very hurt before from another relationship and had many doubts with my mind all the time...So i pretended all the time talk with him as a normal friend...but he kept surpriced me, by re-found me on the same website after i deleted my previous profile, and with the totally new profile. And by finding a way to chat with me at work( because his work forbid chatting), by giving me his cellphone number,and said whenever i want to talk,just give him a miss called, then he would call me back.(which was so touched and sweet for me) by making a video of himself in a common life,and sharing with me... all these i can't just pretend that i feel nothing, in fact, my feelings was too strong to be controled till last month, which i believed that he would come over to visit me with surprise, by many words and pictures made me believed. But in the end that didn't happen. Then i was so depressed for one week, trying to ignore his emails but i can't, trying to talk to him in a cool way but i can't,trying to get his face out of my mind but it never worked... but seems he couldn't smell anything unusual ,,trying to tell him with a similar story but he couldn't get it. All those drived me crazy...till one morning i expressed all my feelings to him..And he replied me fast and happily..finally he decided to come visit me at the end of this month...oh,too excited to say how i feel right now. But also i'm very nervious, i can't stop thinking what if i'm lower expectation as he thought...how should i act? since we talk right now with emails is like bf and gf, but what am i supposed to act when we meet in person? i mean its just the first time to meet him, i'm not sure if we can act like we are bf and gf when we meet in person.. But still, i'm longing and excited to see him...


GothGirl 3 years ago

I am in love with a man I met online and he has said and done all the right things to prove his love and for me to trust him. But he hasn't talked to me in a little over a month and I can't figure out why. I'm scared I said something wrong, though I don't know what it may be, or that something happened to him. Since all relationships in my life have gone wrong, i tend to doubt everything. But when it comes to romantic relationships like this, especially ones online I have no idea what to do. I guess you'd have to see how we talk to each other and all of our passion to determine anything. I guess I'm just as lost and unsure as anybody else would be. All I can say is, you CAN fall in love, and you can meet. My uncle met his wife online and they live and had a baby together. I just hope what I have is as real as I think and he says it is...


missyfizz 3 years ago

The comment i wrote before, i just thought id mention now that my relationship is over


missyfizz 3 years ago

im in a relationship but its not been going well for a while and i feel like we are departing from eachother and there is nothing else left, no feeling, nothing so i want to go my own way.

But for over 1 yr i have been playing an online game and met someone on there, we have been chatting all the time and i feel he understands me and everytime in stressed or depressed he really tries to make me feel better and make me laugh. I feel like i can tell him anything and he says he'll be there always. I also feel like i have a connection with him, like a bond and it always gets me excited to see his name appear online. I know its not good for things like this to happen as the person on the other side maybe be a pedo or something but we've seen how we both look and i was attracted to him when i saw him and when he saw me he said i was cute. I love chatting with him and everytime we talk he can understand everything im saying and going through but tries his best to make me smile because he says he hates it when im down or upset, he really doesnt like it. However the problem is im from the uk and he lives in europe so its hard and ive never told him how i feel about him as this may ruin the relationship we already have. Please help, i really want to say all this to him but then im scared. Waht should i do?

Another thing i forgot to mention everytime we chat, we go on for hours and hours, from the evening to early hours in the morning


Anonymous 3 years ago

I met someone online in a chat room, it started as casual conversations and comments in the room until we started private instant messaging each other. We spoke in intervals and before we knew it we were talking for hours 5-7 hrs conversations to be specific about everything. During that period for a year we both fell in love, she more than me because I was unsure, cautious to trust that it was right, so I wold become distant. I've hurt her in the past a few times. No matter how many times I wanted to turn away because I thought she was better off without me, something kept me drawn to her. I knew I needed to change and I didn't want what would've been in my head for the rest of my life. Finally we met after almost 2 years of phone/text correspondence. She was exactly like I pictured her and I the same. I felt like I had known her forever. Our first day together lasted 7-8hrs. We kept things casual to keep the pressure off but it was technically our first date. We met up again 2 weeks later she came up to see me. Drove 5 hrs to hang with with me, we watched sports, talked, ate. I made her dinner then after 8 1/2 hrs she went home. So far the atmosphere has been casual when the two times we've been together in person. I haven't put any moves on her because I can't read her. I'm curious to know if it's possible this will transition into a romantic relationship that fits my feelings for her or is this just a friendship ?


Mariah1973 3 years ago

I am one that always thought that online dating was stupid and dangerous. Well, I have recently gone through a divorce and for months I was just so lonely so I decided to try one of those online dating sites ive heard a lot about. For a few days I would go on the site and just look around and was so scared to sign up until one nite I was so lonely and i just got depressed nobody to talk to and decided to give it a try. Nothing wrong with chatting right? Well, then after a couple of days I started getting hits once my pic was posted. Sure was some weird ones...well the site has a thing where you can see who viewed you and that's where I came up on this man that viewed my profile and something about the was he looked that just pulled me and something told me to send him a message. So I did, we have been talking for a few weeks, we have so much in common its not even funny. We just recently started talking on the phone and no man has made me laugh like he does. Well, honestly I haven't said anything to him and don't plan on it right now but secretly I have fallen in love with him and I told myself I wasn't going to do that with someone ive never met...I just wanted to get online just to have someone to talk to. Im so afraid to meet him cause then what if he doesn't find me as attractive as he does my pictures? So, yes now I believe you can fall in love with someone you have never met.


Kula 3 years ago

I met this guy on the internet. And we uhmm.. Are officially on. :) I can tell he's really taking our relationship seriously. He's doing some efforts for us to meet each other. I can tell that you can really love someone you haven't met before. Yes it is possible that if you meet for the first time It will be awkward or something so just keep on guarding your heart. Feel free to love. But always remember your limitations. ^__^


Arianna 3 years ago

All I know is that I have fallen madly in love with this wonderful guy I've met online five months ago. I believe he feels the same way too. We both think that we are emotionally and spiritually connected. I'll be meeting him in a few months and I'll let you all know of the outcome! Thanks Shil1978 and God bless.


Ada Hon profile image

Ada Hon 3 years ago

Hi everyone, I am really struggling with whether I have feelings for and is physically attracted to someone who I have met on OKC. I met him about a year and a half ago, we have went through the typical progression of a friendship/relationship. We have never put a finger on what it is that we have. He has no problem telling me that he does have feelings for me and is physically attracted to me but I am not sure where I am at with this. He does see a future with me and he is in every way, shape or form serious about me. We talk online on a daily basis and share our daily lives with each other. We are friends but has crossed the boundaries into coupledom for we talk and behave as if we are already together as a couple sometimes. Yes I do miss him, think about him and looks forward to our time together online but I have a lot of self doubts as to whether I have feelings for him and is physically attracted to him. My doubts about us since we discuss it together is beginning to make him have doubts about us too. Any thoughts, comments and suggestions are welcomed.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 3 years ago Author

Thank you, Suhana! Appreciate your wishes - thank you :)


suhanasharma 3 years ago

Dear,Shil1978,

Thank you so much for your suggestions.

I really feel that you have tried to feel my pain.And I cannot repay you.In your suggestions I see a solution,though sometimes it is beyond my control not to think of his love,but I'll keep trying.Because you are right that this kind of relationship does not have a solid foundation to work on.

My only wish for you is that you get happiness and fulfillment in the form you want.My best wishes are with you for your happy and contended life with your loved one.

Thanks again,

:)

Suhana


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 3 years ago Author

Hi Suhana,

He will want this relationship to go on like it is. Think about it, what does he have to lose this way? He can have his girlfriend and then he can have fun chats with you online as well, and possibly come and meet you in real and get physical. Which guy wouldn't want that? But, what does it give you? A hope? Something to feel good momentarily?

Look, you can never bank on this relationship in the practical real world because it doesn't have much substance and is not rooted on a solid foundation. Plus, you have the additional factors of having non-independent children, who are still dependent on you or your husband. So, can you afford to leave this for something you are not really sure of exists? For all you know, this guy may just be interested in the flirting part and not in a real, tangible, real-world relationship.

As to your question about if it is possible for a man to love a woman, yet be in bed with someone else and claim to think about the person he loves than the person he is sleeping with, it is not something I would buy. I've heard men say that, but I think they say that to make you feel good, not because they actually love you or care for you, or are really interested in you.

As to your second comment about ending this and how, what you are trying to do is the right way, as in getting yourself engrossed in work. Yes, it is difficult and I can understand how you find it tough, but nothing is easy in life in general and this is much the same! You just have to try and try harder. Don't blame yourself for this though, as you are doing with your comment, it is not your fault. You have done no wrong. Nothing you've done so far is beyond repair or redressal, so you can get things back under your control and prevent yourself from being, possibly, carried away by this fantasy kind, highly improbable-in-real-world relationship.

Find friends in the real world, those around you. That will possibly take up your time and get you to forget this person. I don't think he is the solution to your emotional and physical needs. It is much more likely that you would find such a person in the real word around you, close to your place of living!

See if it works for you! All the best, Suhana! Keep in touch!!


suhanasharma 3 years ago

Dear,Shil1978,

Thank you for your patience and thanks for being so considerate.

I am an Indian woman and you are right about facing many social difficulties when I decide to pursue my own interests.

I am working towards making myself financially independent.

Though my husband has stopped taunting me and is being very considerate since I told him that I have fallen in love with a guy online,still it seems my feelings are no longer awake for him.We hardly have any physical relations now.

Although my relationship with this US guy has been very beautiful,I can let it go for everyone's good.Only thing,he wants it to remain like this forever,at least this is what he says now.And I trust him.He says he wants me to be his wife,although I know this has no possibility of happening or being successful if it happens.

But one question-Is it possible for a man to have sex with other women while he loves someone else,because he cannot be close to that woman?He says sex is a need for him,but he thinks of me while having sex.He also says he wants to come to India to spend time with me,but I do not encourage him as I feel without getting divorced it is wrong to get physically close to someone else.

Your advice is eagerly waited.

Thanks,

Suhana


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 3 years ago Author

Hi Suhana,

Thank you for sharing your story. I read it with much interest and understand it being long, so don't worry about that :) The way you put it, I don't think you got the husband you deserved, so it is obvious there is a void within you, which you are trying to fulfill with this online relationship. You say, you cannot 'spoil' his life or your kids' lives by pursuing this relationship, but what about your life? I assume you are from South Asia or the Middle East from your name. If so, then you do face real social difficulties in pursuing something like this, while still married, if the word gets out.

If you are really unhappy with your marriage and think there is no hope or future for it, then you should get out of it, in my opinion. I don't know about your financial situation, but if you aren't financially secure, then that's a problem, but you always have to work towards financial independence, if you are to live life on your own terms.

Coming to this guy, you may not be able to view him with caution, seeing that he makes you feel so happy, but truth be told, most people online fake their real identities and age. You may never know how old he is, for example, until you really meet him. You can't even be certain that the person in the pictures is him. It is easy to send pictures of someone else. If he was reluctant to share his pictures, this may be one of the reasons why. So, whatever decision you take, please don't take it by assuming this guy is who he says he is and dump everything for him blindly. You may be heartbroken, many women have been assuming everything that was told to them as being the truth.

So, if it is just chatting and talking, you don't have to feel guilty (I have to stress this is my advice only to you). Since you are so unhappy and have given up hope in your existing relationship, whatever makes you happy, you don't have to avoid it. But, do exercise caution and don't share your personal details and pictures, especially if you don't intend to take this relationship further in the real world and while still being married. It may cause you problems that you may not anticipate now.


Suhana 3 years ago

Hi,

My story is so different and complicated from all the above stories.

First,I was emotionally detached from my husband of 18 years after 1st year of my marriage,because he never was there when I needed him.I disliked his habit of continuous taunting about my looks etc.,though I am not bad looking for my age(40)

But I tried to make things work between us by ignoring it and being patient.Overtime it became hopeless.

I have 2 kids(12 and 17).I love them.

5-6 years ago I made friends with a US guy 8 years younger to me.We liked to talk once or twice a month because our ideas matched.He flirted occassionally,which I took lightly,but never encouraged him,as I thought of him as a friend.Instead I told him to flirt with women his own age.

One year ago,he showed sexual interest,and I fell for it.

Since then it has been difficult for both of us not to talk at least twice a week and satisfy ourselves with sex talk.While he tells me that he loves me and that he finds it more satisfying than real sex he has with his date,and that he thinks of me when he has sex with his date,it has been a soulful experience for me.I have not felt like this with my husband in 18 years.

Even though I try hard to get it out of my mind it is really difficult to be happy without talking to him.He says the same thing that he cannot be happy with having sex with other women.We shat and don't use video.He asks me for my pics but is very reluctant to send his pics,though he HAS sent me a few.

Though I FEEL REAL HAPPINESS when he is with me,I cannot spoil his life and my kids' lives by doing as I wish.But it seems almost impossiblr to feel happy without him.

Please help by sharing what you think about this.

Thanks for reading through this long story,but it is disturbing me so much,its sometimes impossible to do anything but to think about him.

Suhana


Davidwork 3 years ago

I'm very scientific and rational, but I fully accept that attraction to someone else can be completely unscientific and irrational, especially when you are young and passionate.

I'm 57 now and I'm past love and relationships and all that, but I do believe that you can fall in love with someone you've never met. I never met the first two girls I fell in love with.

The first girl lived a few streets away from me, I fell in love with her in 1970, when I had just turned 15. I loved her for over two years, but never got to speak to her once.

The next girl I fell in love with, in 1975, lived just across the road from me. I was 19, and I loved her for about four years. Again, I only admired her from afar; I never spoke to her once.


lorraine 3 years ago

Hi , my contribution here is I've met a much younger man online and it's been a couple of months only. I've now at the point that all I'm doing is getting butterflies in the stomach and all I want to do is talk to him..this is not healthy, is it? I'm acutally worried....


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

I felt this connection with someone as well even though we never got to meet in person. There was just something about him.. I was hooked like Elmer's Glue. Lol. hahhhaa. Anything is possible, but the best relationships start off as friendships. A very good hub.


jeweld55 4 years ago

I met a man 1 year ago on the internet. He lives in Jamaica and I in the USA. I went to Jamaica in August and we got married. He will come to live in the USA next year. We are taking our Honeymoon in Jan to Costa Rica for three weeks. I am so excited and love him so much. We talk twice a day, text, and talk on Skype.


bella 4 years ago

lovely stories


tee 4 years ago

I met a guy online about a little over a month ago. He's in Italy and I'm in the U.S. We text everyday, talk about various things. We even had one or two arguements, but made amends. I think we are developing a fondness towards each other. I'm considering taking a trip to Italy next summer, maybe we will meet.


Jennifer16 4 years ago

There is this guy I met on a website. We have many fantasies about living with eachother, and moving away. I skype, call, text and email him 24-7. It´s been about a year since we met and we still have this connection. It worries me that an obstacle will get in our way and we wont be able to be together. I´m 16 years old and I know I shouldn´t be falling in love right now, but I´m not quite sure. I just want things to work out. Any one have any advice on how to keep our relashionship alive?


pretty08 4 years ago

Based on my experience, yes it is indeed possible to fall in love with someone you haven't meet. I am now engaged to my british boyfriend which I had once meet in a dating site. I'm from PH in his from U.K but now I already move in to U.K to be with him,my true love.


Forrest121 4 years ago

I'm happy to see that i'm not the only one to fall in love over the internet.

Me and my girl been dating for 3 months now (before that we been talking for about a year). We have everything in common except she likes sea food and I don't. We talk everyday and skype everyday but... We have yet to meet up. It's not that neither of us want to its that we live 4 hours away from each other She lives in PA I live OH. It's really hard but at the same time. There is no one out there that is like her and I really do love her as much as she loves me (which is alot). So Yes it is possible to love someone you never met at times it will be hard but if you truly love that person you will deal with it. I know i can cuz one day we will meet and it will be amazing like her.


ChiChi 4 years ago

I have been so frustrated with a person that I met in Feb of this online. The first week of talking he said that he would visit me. Well six months later that never happened. He owns a bar/restaurant and contends that he is busy and wants me to be patient. So I offered to visit him and he doesn't really respond to that suggestion. We started out with a connection and now he doesn't even initiate contact and rarely responds to my texts. However, he almost always answers my phone calls. I feel that it isn't fair that he dismissed me without giving it a fair chance. Meanwhile, I have this burning desire to just meet the person that I was interacting with. It would give me some clarity about his personality and closure for me...It's all that I want. I should have been more assertive and not let him call the shots. I did fall in love with him and was just left hanging....I advise anyone regarding online dating and falling in love to be assertive yet not pushy. If we talked regularly it may have changed things. It just ended up being a huge mystery and incomplete relationship in my case. It's extremely confusing and frustrating.


Laura 4 years ago

Oh, to the anonymous person of a few days ago...that guy I just mentioned did some things like that to me, after I met him and before I figured him out. I mean, texting and then suddenly not replying, then replying some time later. Saying he'd meet me and then cancelling. I cant say everyone is the same, but Ive seen things like this before with guys Id actually met, where they let me think they were the best for me, then didnt follow up on things, played cat and mouse, hit and miss and so on. I'm sorry to say it but my impression has been that in general if they do things like that they are really not interested in anything serious, nor in my experience do they change and become more interested, but they just enjoy the attention and may be doing it to others at the same time. If guys are interested they make it clear, just as you do when you are interested. Theyd not want you to get away. I didnt used to believe this when people told me this but I do now.

If you move on, and he realized he had been too wishy washy and lost a good thing, he will go after you and be clear about it if he really wants you, not go after you and take up where he left off with the hit and miss. But otherwise, if he lets you go, or goes on with the hit and miss, I think he is good riddance as a time waster and at least you protected yourself and he can respect you more as being strong enough to move on.


Laura 4 years ago

I dont know if it is a good idea to fall in love with someone in the internet whom you havent yet met, just based on personal experience. Im sure it is possible to do it, but you need to be more careful to be sure of who they are and really get to know them. In my experience, every time I actually meet someone, guy or girl (and this goes for only friends, not anyone I fell in love with) in person after "making friends" on the internet, they turn out to be different, even very different to how I had imagined, and they might feel that too since so far the friendships have never continued. It wasnt about them being "good" or "bad" but they were just different from what I'd imagined and not always so compatible. Yet I normally make friends easily with people I meet and I get along with most people in person.

About falling in love, it only happened to me once that Id thought Id fallen in love with someone I met in the internet, and when I met him in person in his country around 2 or 3 months later I also thought I felt the same way, and he claimed he did too, but it turned out that he was only someone who tried to go after and seduce many different women and may have already had someone else, based on things he said. Luckily Im religious so I dont sleep with guys, but at least emotionally I was a bit taken in for a little while so it was a bit hurtful. Also, Im lucky he wasnt dangerous but only out for good times with girls and figured I wasnt the type to give him that. He was good at acting, but any guy, even a dangerous guy, could also be very good at acting.

Also, like the "friends", he was not, I realized after meeting him and clearing my head, the person Id thought him to be from the internet. Im a very good judge of character, yet it took me a while to sort him out when I met him since Id already had some preconceived ideas about him.

I think when you meet someone in person there is a lot of communication that goes on besides just the verbal: most communication, psychologists tell us, is nonverbal via body language and we cant seem to pick up enough of that through the internet, maybe even through video chat. So we fill in the blanks with our own constructions, without even realizing we are doing that.

So basically I think it is best to have an open mind and meet the person in person as soon as possible and base judgements on that meeting, and for me anyway Id not let myself fall for someone before I met them, and met them a number of times.


devlilshangel 4 years ago

to water: to me it sounds like you need to move on. i do know how hard that is trust me. he isnt making any efforts for you and if he has another then why are you even trying. IF he is willing to leave her for you what happens if someone else falls for him like you have and he leave you? This would be my fear. Would be diff if he was doing something to per sue you but he isnt. As hard as it is and will be I would focus on your studies and move on from him. YOU DESERVE BETTER AND SOMEONE WHO WILL BE DEVOTED TO YOU AND YOU ONLY!

to anonymous: my suggestion to you would be to just break down and ask him what you did, or call him and make him face you via voice instead of hiding behind a text. i know i am not the perfect example of love due to my relationship not workin out in the past however just keep in mind everything happens for a reason and you have to go through all kinds of MR. Wrongs to find your MR. RIGHT! one thing that i have learned at my age is that gettin upset when "he" has to go do something that isnt paying attention to you will not work when you guys live in diff states. trust me when i say sometimes playing hard to get is a good thing. if he is into you he will make the effort to talk to you. a group that me and my guy are in was jokin around and one of the guys told him yea good night darling and i said ill fight you for him and my guy said i had already won a long time ago. we are not yet "official" but everyone knows where our hearts belong and we know what we want but we want to wait and meet before we make anything official. i think he wants to take me out on the perfect date that i told him i wanted someday and that is when i think it will happen.

i hope this helps you both a little. if not i am sorry. i am a hopeless romantic and do believe that everything happens for a reason so these guys were brought into your lives for a reason but its just not clear why as of right now, however you will figure out why in your futures and then you will know for sure.


Anonymous 4 years ago

I met this guy on ps3 and he lives in anothe state but we talked for hours and we got closer and closer an we got each other numbers an started texting and I didn't even know what he looked like and I was falling for him and then he sent me a pic and he was goodlooking and I would stay up late just to talk to him and he told me tht he really liked me and that he would come and meet me someday and I believed him and he told me to never delete his number and I still haven't well one day he told me he had to go take a shower and he would text me when he got out well an hour later he never texted me back and I got all upset and started textin him non stop an now he wildly text me well the next day he texted me sayin hey and I said what's up and he said nOthin really an I said hav u been busy and he never texted me back and I haven't heard from him since then I text him everyday hoping he would text me back but he won't and I don't know what I did or why he won't talk to me I dont know what to do. Anybody have any ideas what I should do?


water 4 years ago

My story is also similar to all above .I Also met the guy in internet and I fell in love with him, proposed him too and I did not even asked him either he does or not.I dont know it was my foolishness or the example of true love .And found he has a girl friend it was really hurting but could not stop myself loving him and talking with him.He tells me that I am childish,pure hearted girl,honest,sincere,and one man type girl.He thinks it does not matter much for him if his relationship does not long last longer.And his views towards mine and his relationship is that it wont go longer because we think differently towards life and relationship.But he also says that there is nothing impossible so there may be anything in future.About me I am very introverted girl and could not belive how I came to propose guy whom I had never met it was my first time and before I had no any boyfriend and no any cross too.I am carrier oriented girl and still studying in bachelor so from my side also I dont want to make boyfriend rather wants to be good wife in future and I have told everything about this to him.Now my big problem is I could not forget him and sometimes like to cry and sometimes like to smile without any reason even could not much concentrate in my studies.He never calls me but also I regularly call him atleast to listen his voice to stop I tried many times but also could not stop and my heart beats like anything if I wont call him and feels too bad.He is always true with me and respect me and my feelings too.I dont know what should I do in such situation and he had no mistake at all and never promise anything or tried to flirt me. IF YOU COULD GIVE ME ANY SUGGESTION THEN IT WOULD BE VERY BIG THING FOR ME


devlilshangel 4 years ago

Hello, I personally think it is possible to fall in love with someone you have never met. I thought I was in love with someone I met well a little 8 years ago now. We talked online for just over 6 months before I made the trip to meet him for the first time. We had exchanged pictures, talked on the phone and web cammed. He was not someone I would normally have dated but I got to know him for him and not for his looks which is what I fell for. Long story short I moved across the US for him and on our 7 1/2 yr anny he told me he no longer loved me and wanted to sleep with other women ect...I was devistated....we were to have been married a few months later and everything. I moved back home and met a couple of guys but couldnt connect to them. So I was hanging out my my best friend and her boy friend and they asked me to start playin a game. I said fine it was a time killer and I have met the most amazing guy. Neither of us were looking. We just started talking and he was helping me with the game and after about 2 weeks instead of every couple days of talking it was nightly for a couple hours and then it turned to from time he would get online til the time he would go to bed. We talk about anything and everything. You name it I know it about him and if for some crazy reason I dont all I have to do is ask. If I decide to just randomly call well thats ok too. I do try to ask before I call just because of the time difference and everything but I dont have to. If he isnt online he will text me to tell me whats going on. He text's me up to date pics of him with his "catch" He had me put into a group with him for our game to help me out. He started tellin me maybe he should stake his claim cuz of the other guys flirting and I kinda think its cute. Everyone in our game knows about us and want us to meet and get together. He even had me start playin another game with him so we could have something else to do together. The irony in this all is he wants to move back to around the area I live because its where he is originally from and I have been debating moving out to close to the area he is due to school (however I am able to do it all online if I want so it wouldnt make a difference to me) I know he feels the same way as I do but we are both to scared to admit it to one another. We actually both went through a similar break up and were both to be married ect. He trusts me so much that I have all his log in information for his game and fb, I have his sons log in information, and his other acct inormation. I have his sons phone number and he has mine, we will text now and then.....and he and I chat online a lot also. I have to say that if the feelings werent there the kids wouldnt be involved because they would be hurt just as bad as us if not more. I am currently talkin to him about going for a visit to meet him, his son, friends and family out where he is and we will see how it turns out. I have faith that it is going to work out. The meeting wont happen for a few months but if you would like an update after I would be willing to post one. *smiles*


Laura 4 years ago

I fell in love over the internet almost 4 years ago. It was also the first time I fell in love. And the only one, I've never fallen in love after that again. I really did think he was my soulmate (and I still love him like before). We have a lot of things in common. Now, sometimes we can talk but now neither of us has enough time to share like we did in the past and that's sad. He's from a diferent country, and I'm almost sure I will never be able to meet him in real life, because I'm sure he doesn't feel that way anymore. He did tell me the way he feels about me, and it was the happiest moment in my life. But somehow, before we could even stablish a romantic relationship, one day he saw my picture in a social network, and since that day, he became distant, he wasn't the same when we talked, and while time went on, he did fall in love with another girl over the internet. It really hurt me. I thought I was the ugliest person amongst the entire world. I cried like a baby every night, thinking about all the plans I had for our moment together in real life. But that never happened.

However, he still the same guy from before, in matter of his life point of view, likes and dislikes, which are the same thoughts I have about almost everything. And that´s why I still have these feelings, even if he doesn't, even if he never mentions that anymore. But we are friends, and we can always have really interesting conversations. But there are a few issues in my life right now, and I'm afraid I will never be able to be 'online' again, so I think it's time to let him go... even if it hurts me so bad, but the truth is that in this moment I really can't talk to him..


Amy 4 years ago

I have been talking to a guy from twitter now since September it's now mid July. I am 21 and he is 26. We never started talking with any intentions of getting close etc but somehow we ended up falling for each other. We have been talking EVERY day through texting/calling since beginning of November and we literally talk about everything. he lives about 5 hours away and if we wanted a relationship it would be possible for it to work distance wise as he has he's own house etc

The problem is I'm a big girl and he's not and I'm very insecure about this. We've swapped lots of pictures and I've told him how I feel. Time after time he has reassured me that he is attracted to me however it's not my looks that he likes the most. He says he has fallen in love with the person I am and nothing will change that.

I am meant to meet him in 12 days time as he got me a ticket to a show. Both my parents know and they are fine with it. I am so excited about finally meeting him after 10 months but I'm so worried that I will be right and he will no longer like me becuase of my size


daisymorales 4 years ago

My name is Daisy. I have been talking to the guy named Richard for quit awhile now and we text everyday and night. We have also been chatting on xbox live and he is so funny. I met him on Textplus (app for texting without any cost). We have even shared many photos of ourselves. I don't even know my feelings for him. I think about him everynight.

He lives in a completely different state than me. I live in Texas and he lives in Indiana. When Richard and I talk on the mic on xbox I have butterflies in my stomach!

I think you can fall in love Online. Many people have. I am still getting to know Richard .


robsangel 4 years ago

I met a man on a dating site. He was away at business and would be back home in 4 months. We decided to talk and get to really know each other so we would be ahead of everything when he came back home after this work project. We talked all different ways by emails, chats on computer, messenger on phone, and got to know about each other. We would email 2 times a dat, then the chat was 2 times a day, now the messenger goes all day back and forth. The computer is for the plans we are making. I had terrible relationship/marriage and he knew that. We said we would take things slow and just get to know each other well. We shared pictures and stories. We laughed and there was no pressure to prove anything. Then 1 day we both realized that there was more to our feelings. He was the first one to say he felt some strong connection. He started calling me angel and honey. Then we don't know what happened but we both found ourselves falling in love. We have never met but I feel like I know him as well as myself. We have been starting to plan our life together when he is back home. We are both adults, educated, and have responsible positions. If you would have asked either one of us if we would be in love before we meet, we would have told you no way.

You can't control your emotions and ours are based on the person that is inside. It is our values, beliefs, likes, and dislikes. Our pictures are up to date and we look like them. Both of us are sure there is nothing that would change our feelings when we do meet. We have shared everything with each other and really feel that we will be one of those happy endings. Looks aren't anything if either person isn't honest and upfront. Any questions must be answered honestly and not ignored. I have seen his certificates for work, know where he is and anything I question is answered. We have looked at all the things others talk about, infatuation, obsession, and loneliness on his part. He is working with others and some of them have had someone in their families ahve good results with the online relationships. So we both believe you can fall in love without meeting first. I can let you know more when he comes home to meet me in about 56 days. Then we will sit down and confirm our plans and talk with our families and children.

Just a few things to keep in mind, both of us wanted to find a special someone, so we were open to this. Honesty, trust, and goodness are all part of any good and solid relationship.

Lucky to find the man of my dreams


SecretAlias 4 years ago

Last year, I fell deeply in love with someone. She was older (almost 40, while I was 25), and had already been married and widowed after her husband passed away in an auto accident. We met online through a game in which we were roleplaying, and the characters that we'd made struck up a back-and-forth that quickly dissolved into public silence and quiet exchanges between the two players.

My love was (and still is) brilliant, had strong opinions, knew exactly who she was, and somehow saw something in me- I'm not sure what- that she found attractive. She told me that later on that she had intended to just play along, but the both of us ended up going from fun to soul-baring within the space of a few days, and then a bit of both.

We shared pictures (clean ones!). Reluctantly. Neither of us was particularly thrilled with our own appearance, but I know that I kept hers on my desk until months later.

We met in person, after a few months. The nervousness was cranked up to eleven...Thousand, and I couldn't let go of her when we met at the gate. Holding hands while driving, sneaking kisses and quiet I-Love-You's while walking through town...

In the end, I broke her heart. I brought up the thought of something more permanent, and she informed me that it simply wasn't going to happen. She'd already been married, and she had a son. She had no desire to marry again. She said it would betray the memory of her husband.

I hadn't meant marriage, at the time, but that put me in mind of the biggest differences between us. Neither of us was able to move due to work (something we'd discussed numerous times). Neither of us was particularly rich, and the plane costs would mean we couldn't meet for another three or four months, at the least.

In the end, it felt like I was giving everything up for her. If we stayed together, we'd never have a family because she already had one, and our different races meant that her conservative community would be less than accepting of me being around. She said that it wouldn't matter, that she would make time for me, but she didn't want to leave her family's self-enclosed cultural bubble.

But we loved each other. Dammit.

After seven months and only two in-person meetings where we desperately tried to make up for our time apart by spending every second together, I simply couldn't do it, anymore. We broke up, and our contact since then has been almost non-existent.

She is still single, but finally dating again after a year and a half, according to a mutual friend.

I'm too focused on work to date, and I don't think I'm ready for that sort of roller coaster again. I ALMOST went out for coffee with one person since I was single, again. The other person called me five minutes before we were supposed to meet in order to cancel. It was honestly fine by me.

Stupid first loves.


sweetred66 4 years ago

Yes I think you can fall in love online. I am usually very cautious and skeptical about things like this but I have met a great guy online. We talk every day online or by phone for the past 3 yrs. I'm in Canada and he's in England. At the time we met I was not looking for love just a new friend to chat with. We also chat on skype and I know all about his life there he about mine. My friends think I'm crazy lol and wonder if he's being totally honest about being single and not just a lonely married man. With it being 5 hr time difference he has told I can phone him whenever I like if I want or need to talk so I'm pretty sure he's not married. In all my life I have never felt more loved and wanted by any other man. I'm 46 twice divorced and 2 kids aged 17 and 26. We talk about anything and everything. It just feels right. He may not be gorgeous and hunky but I fancy him and he is very kind and caring. I will be going to England in about 6 months to visit an old school friend and he happens to live an hour away from where I'll be staying and have agreed to meet up. Even though I know it will be okay I know I will have butterflies in my stomach when we finally meet. I'm so excited and can't wait for that day to come ! Feel like I've known him forever.


Intellectualbrat 4 years ago

Day after day I would read everyones stories and I always thought about how it would be the day I met my guy...I was so scared..scared that it was all a fantasy. I thought about the day I would come and post. Well I have met him....The love is still there....its not a simple thing you have to truly be in love for this...All I can say is that we will be making our lives together real soon. We waited enough. And having a baby. Bye and good luck to all.


simplyred 4 years ago

I thought I was in love with someone I never met. We talked for nearly five years on the internet. I was always available on web cam for him to see however he told me he couldn't have one due to his work. He showed me pictures of himself though and he was gorgeous. We talked intimately and he wanted to meet and start a family, but we never did meet. Then I found out that he was using someone elses pictures and had been lying about everything from where he lived, what he did for a living, his mother dying, etc. I was devastated. It will take a long time to get over this and it has made me a bitter person, I trust no one. I wish I would have ended it long ago to save myself this heart break.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

Hi, 'girl in London,' - your expectation in having him come by to meet you and your parents is perfectly reasonable. If he really loves you, am sure he would be able to make time to visit, if not immediately at least within the next few months. Yes, being in the Army, it is 'difficult' for him, but I don't think it is impossible.

If he is serious about this relationship, he would need to make time sooner or later and meet you and your parents. I feel what would be reasonable is to ask him to give you a time frame within which he can come and meet. Based on whether you feel he is committing himself to that or not, you may decide on the future of this relationship.

Don't pressurize him too much, but do put the ball in his court so to speak. Ask him how he plans to take the relationship further. It is certainly not fair for him to assume that you can just come over and stay with him and marry him.

I hope things work out - all the best!! Do keep us posted on what happens...!!


Omar 4 years ago

Dear friends, love does not know borders and no matter you are in USA and your fellow on Mars, as far as there is communication, there is a room for love. I knew a girl three months ago,started talking to her for hours like 6 to 8 hours sometimes. Kind of semi-love if i can say developed but after a time I realized that talking to that girl became sth indespensible. i loved her although i know she is engaged to sb else. we share sm feelings, we talk abt the daily life and we are too far from each other. thanks technology for making love possible even when there are oceans between lovers.


girl in London 4 years ago

Hey Shil,

I met two guys online about 2 years ago in Omegle. One from Eastern Europe (say his name is TT) and one from the US (JJ). I exchanged my msn with them so I could talk to them there. At first, I was really close to TT. He always said that I'm beautiful, etc. And with JJ, I wasn't really close with him. Sure, we talked everyday, but he was taken at that time (he was in LD relationship with a girl from Denmark), we were like bestfriends yet enemy. We liked to joke around and he always teased me because I'm an European. Time goes by, I started a relationship with TT. We went through ups and downs and whenever I had a fight with TT, JJ would always be there for me, cheering me up with his (sometimes lame) jokes. My relationship with TT ended after 8 months time when I found out that he was cheating on me with another online girl! And to be honest, I felt that TT was a psycho due to his bipolar personality. Since that, I never talk to TT again, I even deleted his msn. When I broke up with TT, JJ was there for me as always. Telling me to stop crying and smile because he couldn't stand tears on my eyes. As time goes by, I was really close to JJ. Also at that time, I found out the he also broke out with his girlfriend (I dunno what happened though, but he said his ex- gf dumped him when he visited there in Denmark). We always talked, I even sacrificed my sleeping time just because I wanted to talked to him. He called me wifey, I called him hubby (we were joking). But one day, he admitted that he loves me. I was reluctant, I didn't want to have online relationship again, also to be honest, I have trust issues. But JJ kept making me to fall for him so hard with his sweet words. He even made a short story and poems about me :-) but despite that, we never made our relationship to be official. So, we talked every day until he had to leave for basic training (he joined the army). He told me to wait for him, so I did. Three months. My friends said I was crazy, but I didn't care. I felt like something was missing inside of me without him.

3 months went by, he came back online. I was sooo happy at that time. Our relationship has gone better and better after that. He even calls me with baby, love, darling, etc. Seemed like we were already a couple without making it official. We chatted and talked on phone almost everyday. Talked about our future together, where would we live, how many kids would we have, etc. And as I counted, we've been together for like 7 months. But the problem is now, that he is being deployed to South Korea, we barely talk to each other. He is always busy with his work and I don't think I can do this anymore. I'm a sensitive person and I cry too much because of how complicated it is. Sure I did know that this is my consequences as an army 'girlfriend', but I didn't expect that it would be this hard. Also, he wants me to live with him and marry him, but I don't think my parents would let me to live with a stranger, wouldn't they? I just need him to come to meet me and my parents first here in London, but due to the army, he said it would be difficult. I've been thinking to end this, but I just cannot do that. I love him too much, more than I love TT.

What should I now? Should I end this relationship with him?


Imay have lost a soul mate 4 years ago

I also became friends with a guy i met over facebook. We had a lot of things in common and our relationship grew qwite strong everytime we would chat online. However is a month to fast for someone to tell you that they are in love with you and that they want to spend the rest of their life with you?..and we havent even met yet? I was a bit blown away by all the gestures he had made, as its been a while since i allowed a man to put a foot through the door, so to speak and the bizare thing is this was all on the internet. Man! i was overwhelmed with it all cause i was actually falling for him too, but being so early in our internet relationship had me thinking..is this too good to be true. So i took it apon myself and messaged a friend of his..i guess at the time to search what it was i was reaaly getting into. As a result he didnt like what i did and now i havent heard from him since..Now what i did was it wrong? or did i just prove his words wernt true? anyone have comments to share??


Mayank 4 years ago

I became friends with this girl thru fb. We have seen each other. we used to study together at a coaching center, and she was one of the toppers, whereas I barely managed to put up a decent enough performance. We had given our JEE, she was acertain to get a rank, and I dint quite nail it the way, I wanted it to be. Nevertheless, We became the best of pals, internet pala, I mean. I asked for her No. but she refused saying that her family wouldnt quite embrace the idea of talking to a guy she barely know. But we continued our chats. I always had a soft corner for this girl right from the coaching days. And one day, I did reveal my liking for her. She was quite cool with it, and said to notify her if this liking turns into love someday. Now We have been chatting for the past 4 months, and trust me, I coudnt breathe a second without having my eyes popped out at my caht screens. I guess, The feelings are mutual. Evn she seems to develop a keen interest in my texts and so and so antics. I belive that the time has come to let her know what this liking has emulated into. what she mean to me...

but of late, I am having goosebumps. I fear, I might spoil our friendship, If I nag her with this proposal thing. If she says YEs, I;l be the happiest person, undoubtedly. But if she rejects it, I might lose one of my best friends, the after effect of which may sadden me throughout. I am really at my wits end and Just dont know how to proceed from here.. Advices will be really appreciated.


Raytealmfao 4 years ago

Thank you Shil. I will definitely consider moving on. It's not easy but I'll true my best. Thank you Shil :)


Annie M George profile image

Annie M George 4 years ago

I met someonE online recently, I don't know whether is true love.. He amazing guy, whonwant to settle down and have a family.. He asked me if he buy a house and that he want me to move in when our relationship going well. We haven't met yet as he is on the business trip. We do chat on msn and emailed each other.. He written a very good and send me poem which is so nice.. I never met this person who open his feeling.. He very down to earth.. Even he going to send me flower wnd wanted my address.. I gave him it last night.. I'm scared what would happens if we finally meet when he get back.. He said to me it say who u r and say u r.. Cos when I said to him what if u change yr mind .. He said why would u say that babe.. I do want to meet u and have planned together to settle down.. Even he like to take me on holiday with him to enjoy our lifetime .. I feel this wonderful feeling but I really like to know if this for real.. He said to me I don't know if it too early to say I love u but I really do.. He fell in love with my personalities ,no matter what I do.. He never hd a woman who capture of his heart to feel this before.. I was so surprised.. I like him as much I would like to settle down with him.. We only got together a week online email.. He asked if I told my friend about him, I said no I hvent but I have mention a little bit with heart on Facebook, I didn't wnt the whole world know.. Cos w not officially together yet, he like to yes when we meet x we don't want to rush thing together.. I just want the answer whether it for real.. I'm scared wht my future will hold.. I want to be in love with a man I want to spend the life with.. Even he want me to move in with him when he buy a house in London.. I never thought any men would ask me this.. Maybe I haven't found the right one, this man who make me so happy.. I had tear in my eyes this morning whether if happened true , I leaving all behind nd move on with new life in London.. I really wantbthe answer now what is happening. Tell me.. I don't want to get hurt.. He not player or to mess round..


Dan 4 years ago

I have found most of these comments to be very helpful, as I am meeting someone I have spoken to online tomorrow in London! :-/ (she's 19 and I am 20) I'm unbelievably nervous, but Ive been talking to her regularly for around 8 months (she lived abroad and has recently moved to england) and feel we have gotten to know each other very well over this time :)

She's absolutely amazing and so gorgeous and a strong part of me hopes something more than friendship could eventually happen through this meeting, but if not, and she wants to be just friends, I'll be more than happy with that.

I think Ive had a real connection with this girl, much better than I have had with any other girl and I honestly think about her everyday. I never used to be the most confident guy out there but since I have been at uni I have changed a lot and I feel I'm ready for a relationship. I hope tomorrow will be the start of one, fingers crossed....


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

Raytealmfao, I can understand how you feel, but you need to realize that you cannot make someone love you or need you when they themselves don't feel the same way as you do! Add to the fact that this guy stays on a different continent, it was bound to be difficult to maintain this relationship.

He may have different expectations out of a relationship. Online relationships are more difficult to maintain, and if both the partners don't have the same depth of feelings towards each other, then there is no future for such a relationship.

I feel you should move on (as difficult as it may be for you and as much as you may not want to consider it). I am sure you'd find another guy worth your time, who'd appreciate you for what you truly are and not define you as "dreamy" - whatever that means!

Take heart, be strong and face the reality. Sometimes, we just need to step back, reassess, and then just move on...!

I hope you can do that. As difficult as it may be for you my dear, I am sure, in some years, when you look back - you'd be thankful you did move on! Best of luck!!


Raytealmfao 4 years ago

Shil, I feel terrible. I really miss my boyfriend and I feel like my world is falling apart. I had so much hope for our future together. When will he realise that he still loves me and still needs me?


Tracy 4 years ago

Yes, it happened to me.


violetdreams 4 years ago

I wonder that myself, as I had a man romance me, flirt, make up lies about himself and mention over and over how much he wants to start a family with me and be "mine" for over 4 years; I trusted him with all my thoughts and he never followed through on any of his promises. Then suddenly he disappears for weeks only briefly answering an email if I send one to him. I wonder was I insane to let him keep me on a string for that long? I truly thought I was in love with someone I never met. I guess his feelings for me weren't the same. Four years of emails full of concern, feelings, romance and hope and it all disappears in a cloud of smoke..poof gone


Pig 4 years ago

Just wonder can any woman who is going with a guy for 4 yrs of romantic couple life and over night breakoff without any feelings at all


Sarah 4 years ago

To answer the initial question; Yes, you can fall deeply and madly in love with someone you never met. Years ago I met someone on a chatline and we instantly clicked, but I'm sure I fell for his personality harder than he had mine. I didn't really realize I loved him until after he disappeared from my life. Everyday for three years we talked, it was bliss to me. Then suddenly, it was gone. And it hit me that this man I never met, only seeing a picture of him to suffice, was going to be in my heart forever.

Now, I agree that a majority of the love I felt for him was based of fantasy. Situations would play through my head when we talked, ideal in a romance novel type of way. But that does not remove my yearning for him to this day.

So can you fall in love with someone you never met? Of course. But be prepared for unexpected heartache.


lok 4 years ago

Hi Shil,

Hope your are doing great

I am very disturbed and upset for last 3 days because my online/phone partner texted me 3 days back that she is engaged. It all happened so suddenly. Previous day in morning she texted me that her father is seeing a guy for her and she told me that she would be telling her final decision to me within 3-4 days and next day in the evening she told texted me "my engagement is done. donnt message". It was very devastating to me.

We knew each other since 4 and a half months. She said number of times that she loves me a lot but always feared about her dad though she had informed her mother about me. I used to ask her whether she sincerely or truly loves me or not and her answer was always (yes, I am not making false commitments). I also love her a lot because my life was turning out to be so meaningful and constructive. However for the past 2 or 3 weeks, she was not well and had undergone stomach surgery. We didnt talk for past 2 weeks though chated with each other over the phone. My mornings used to begin with her message "Good Morning my love". I just cannot figure out what has happened suddenly. I have tried calling her, texting her and emailing her just to get an answer but for no luck. Is everything over for me! Is there anything I could do or you could do...Please help


If Only it were true 4 years ago

When I was 25 I met a man through a singles dating ad. This was pre-internet. He and I corresponded by snail mail and talked on the phone regularly for 3 months. Our letters were amazing, beautiful, so connected in many ways. It was like walking on a cloud. We were both great writers and poets, loved live music, hiking, inline skating, had the same faith, and were all about being authentic and healing the wounds of our messed up childhoods. We finally met and fell in love. I remember the chills, the buzz, the anticipation before our first meeting. I remember the moment I saw him and realized he was even more gorgeous than his photo. Those eyes! And as we walked and talked and enjoyed each other, I felt like I was with my soul mate. We lived only about 2 hours away from each other, so we would see each other on weekends and drove back and forth to see each other almost every weekend for about 9 months. It was really special at first, I would daydream about the times I could be with him and our conversations were as deep as our letters had been. But then as it came time to intersect our lives, meet each other's friends, go out to places, share other interests than the ones we knew we connected on it was clear that in writing and on the phone we had highlighted the best about ourselves. We downplayed the places where we were not compatible, thinking the other connections would outweigh those. But as we spent more time together, took a trip together, and had everyday time together on long weekends, it was clear that our best time had been when we wrote to one another and those first meetings when the mystery added such fun to the relationship. As we got to see each other for real, with the true weight of our human imperfections, the fantasy became reality and we really weren't a match made in heaven. When the relationship ended I was devastated, he was almost like a drug because our connection felt so strong. Even after we broke up we saw each other just as friends a few times, and the spark of passion between us was just as fiery. But we just weren't meant to be married. And the good thing about that relationship ending, is neither of us had to move away from our lives and pour ourselves into the others life. Just seems so unbalanced to do that. Like the one who moved would end up resenting it over time.

I'm now 42 and have been married 12 years to amazing husband I met face to face when I was 27. If you had told me when I was 26 and brokenhearted that I would fall in love again, I would have said, "It could never be like it was. I'll never find someone like that again." And I didn't. The connection with my now husband wasn't quite as deep, the passion not quite as strong, but the reality, the commitment, the beauty of knowing each other well by dating face to face and becoming friends first, we found out that we are definitely a match made in heaven.

There are more important things to a relationship than the connection you have through the words you write and speak. You need to spend every day time with someone and get to know what they're really like before you can decide if you should get married. Can you be together with each other's friends, work on something together, have a compatible energy level, and just do boring, routine stuff together without all the anticipation that comes with a long distance relationship? We all have a little child in us that likes a beautiful love story. Internet relationships are a fairy tale. Look for someone who lives near you to fall in love with and see what they're like without the mask of the internet on.


B84 4 years ago

I'm in love. Hopelessly and Deeply. I met him last year Feb, he saw a picture of me on my friend's facebook list and left a comment. I went to his profile and I liked what I saw too, but I was apprehensive cause I wasn't sure I the picture was really him. I sent a friend a request. he accepted and the next day he sent me a short message saying : how are you beautiful lady? :)) that is where it all began.

We weren't inlove no. Our feelings grew fast though. about three months in, he said he loved me. It was the best day of my life. I told him I loved him too. He is Turkish and gorgeous and fit and has a great work ethic and he is writing a book on time management. I was drawn to all these things. As I fell hard for him, I fell in love with his cultue and country too. We sent pictures to each other and at one point he was soo tired from working throught the night, but he still came online and spoke to me. That day he would sleep and wake up, come chat to me and go back to sleep. He would tell me when he was sick and ask me what I would be doing to him if I was there with him :)) We both day dreamed about being together eventually. We began video chatting and He was even more handsome and drop dead gorgeous in real life. I was smitten yet again. When he fisrt saw me, he couldn't stop smiling and telling me how beautiful I am. He loved my hair and my eyes and smile. He said my eyes smiled and danced.

6 months down the line, we began being intimate after speaking about it some time. we had webcam sex for the fist time. It was wonderful. I was so insecure but he made me feel so speacial and beautiful.

Recently we celebrated our 1 year anniversary. We are planning to meet for the first time in December. He is flying me up. I am too excited :)) We are already mad about each other. We are physically attracted to one another and all I can think about is wanting to be with him forever, being loved, kissed, made love to, protected and cherished. We spoke about our 'future' family, how many kids we wanted, what religion they would practice (islam or christian), where would we stay ( in which country Turkey or South Africa). My boyfriend is a romantic but words (but in numbers-he is a mechanical engineer) are not his strength. So I'm the one who tends to write long emails which he devours :))His strength is in pictures, which I love to get. He once wrote me his own engineering equation of I love you. It was so sweet.

Pray God will keep this man by my side. I really love him.


raytealmfao 4 years ago

Hi Sil, I've got some bad news. My faith in long distance relationships with someone you've never met, has failed me. My boyfriend of 4 months just split with me because he felt that I was "dreamy" and he just wanted to date girls and what not. I understand whe he's coming from, but I'm broken without him. He might be reading this right now, oh well. Shil, comfort me :(


Brisvegasgirl 4 years ago

I am 38 years old and been in a loveless marriage for 15 years. I got married for all the wrong reasons and have stayed because I didn't want to hurt anyone.

3 months ago I started an online friendship with a man I met through a fanclub. I live in Australia and he in the USA. We have been talking via Facebook and Viber for 12-14 hours a day for 3 months. Sometimes I will be awake at 2am talking to him until the sun comes up and vice versa. We have always been open and honest with each other and he knows I am in love with him. I have never had such strong feelings or soul connection with anybody in my life. He has not said he loves me, but he sends me songs and lyrics and misses me when I am not available to chat. We have skyped and spoken over the phone and I feel I know him inside out. He has been hurt so badly in the past it took a while for me to get through his wall...I beleive he does love me but he is scared it won't work because of the distance. I beleive we can work around that. We have talked about everything under the sun and sent each other heaps of real time photos. I am so sexually attracted to him, even though he is no supermodel. I love his soul good and bad and just want to be with him.

In September I am meeting him in London (we are both going for the same concert) and we are spending a week together. I hope then he will realise how he feels and perhaps then we can take things futher.

As for my marraige - we are now seperated and I am finally free to find happiness with Mr Right, whoever he may be.


Dee Dee 4 years ago

Well I wrote a posting on this site 3 months ago about a guy I fell in love with on a dating site. We have had rocky times over the past 3 months, mostly me being apprehensive about meeting him, afraid once we met the fantasy would turn into reality and lose the excitement. I have broken up with him several times but we cant seem to stay away from eachother, the powerful energy that we have brings us right back to eachother. I have dated a few guys in the meantime and I am always thinking about 'him' when I am with someone else. I finally decided we need to meet, I believe he is my soul mate and we truly love eachother.....so wish me luck. I will keep you posted.


Sweetwitch 4 years ago

Debs you are marrying him without meeting him? Oh wow...how are you doing that? I hope everything works for you and him..I really do. Good luck


Debs 4 years ago

Yes, I fell in love with someone i never met physically.......but there has been no such day when we havenot talk on Skype for the last 11/2 years. Finally we are meeting and even jumping off the cliff...........Married without even meeting physically before. cool..........will see what it gives.


sweetewitch 4 years ago

@Raventalon I feel the same way..I feel that if something would happen and he would not be in my life I dont know what I would do, I can honestly say that I have never been in love this way, not even my late husband. This man is everything I ever wanted in a man. Thank you God. We will be together in 2 weeks and Im so nervous..but excited. if anyone wants to talk about their experience with someone that will understand what you are going through, please feel free to email me.


Raventalon 4 years ago

I found this page while trying to see if there were others who questioned whether or not they were insane..as I am right now. I do believe you can fall in love online.

I met this guy almost a year ago in an online game. He was so nice to me when we were playing the game all ways helpful and kind to everyone. One evening we were playing pretty late and we began talking about our ages which were close and the conversation just lasted. We talked a lot after that and became what I thought was just going to be a good friend. The more I learned about him the more I liked what I learned. One day I became so frustrated with the game and was going to stop playing. He stopped me and asked me to talk to him first and tried to help me figure it out and asked me if he could add me on facebook if I was going to leave because he liked me and did not want to lose our friendship. We added each other. I was amazed by his picture. He was so handsome and he said he liked mine as well. We spent many days and nights talking about everything. I began to fall for this guy and he asked if we could talk on the phone. He gave me his number and said if I felt comfortable to call him. I didn't right away but after talking with him more and more I realized I had to hear his voice. So I called and bam. That did it. I thought I was nuts but there was something in his voice that had me hooked. We have been talking, texting, instant messaging and playing the game together ever since. Recently we have become very serious about the relationship. He lives a couple of states away and both of our lives prevented us from getting together....until now. We have both talked about how great it would be to be together. And it does sound like heaven to me. We have so many obstacles that were in our way and he has been so understanding, loving and patient with me. He is coming down here where I live in a couple of months, even transferring his job. We don't know whether it will work or not. But I know I am willing to give it a try and so is he. I am nervous and excited about meeting him and I have all the insecurities everyone else here has although he says he has none. He is just excited. My feelings for this man have grown so strong, I am not young but I can honestly say I have never felt this close to anyone before. I believe I could be in love with him I also believe he could be in love with me. I don't sling that word around though so I haven't actually said it to him. I guess I am just waiting for the moment I see him and he is there. That will be soon enough though. Grateful that I could read all the posts. They helped me to see that it could be possible and I am not insane. Will have to see how this goes and I hope it goes well because I can not imagine what life would be like without him in it. I just want the next step and have him in it "for real". Comments? Suggestions?


Ann 4 years ago

falling in love with someone you have met in internet is kinda amazing, I am a 17 years old and i met a really really nice and sweet swedish guy, he's one year younger than me. At first, he talked to me and asked some stuff . he's not pervert, so i chose to talk to him. as days are going, we always talk so the attractions between us grows and eventually fell into love. I really felt that he loves me and so i gave all the love i can give to him (don't think dirty). we talk like we're going to marry each other in the future and he told me he's going to my graduation party, even though we don't have physical attraction, we never see it as a hindrance to stop our relationship. we go on cam and just have some fun, and the thing bout him that made me impressed is, he never ask me to do some stuff like bein a show girl. He just wishin that one day, he can cuddle and kiss me and carry me in his arms all day. He's really caring and such a romantic guy, i always receive poems originally made by him, He was soo perfect for me and i never regret that i knew him. I can say i never did anythin to impress him, i was just stayin on the site to talk with the people and he suddenly messaged me so i might say i didn't find him, he came in my life maybe with God's purpose. BUT on the 25th day of december(x-mas) i decided to ended up with him, my mind became kinda stupid, maybe becoz im afraid that one day he gonna leave me, you know guys want a real kiss and any stuff like what you think on your mind, And that's the problem in the internet relationship, you would never know what will happen so i chose to end up so if ever he gonna find a real girl there, i won't be hurt.After that, he's still talkin to me and becoz i really love him(my heart really loves him, my mind is just stupid) i talked to him, we confessed to each other that we still really love each other and he said to me that it was so hard to find a girl ever since he found me, so i'm touched. And then we became like more than friends and quite close to a lovers, meaning is we're still doin the same thing when we we're still on but not committed becoz we didn't labeled ourselves it's just came out that we're still on but no commitment. And now, I closed all my contacts or any other thing that would make him to talk to me, I'm learnin now how to let go of him so we can grow a lil more on our part, we're too young, i have to focus on my studies so if ever he's really the one for me, I can actually meet him in time. I didn't say good bye to him, becoz i know one day, we gonna meet each other but im not expecting that he will be the guy i knew from the start, PEOPLE CHANGE, and change is constant.


ART2012 4 years ago

Reading all the comments have enlighten me,to on line dating for love. I am 59 year old women. I met this wonderful guy who is 60 on one of the christian internet sites. We have been talking for about 2 weeks. He states he has found the women he is looking for. I told him that I would take this relationship slow. both of us are widows. He lost his wife 5 years ago, and I lost my husband 5 years ago. both of us had been married for 35 years. He states he is in love with me after only 2 weeks. It scares me alittle, but not enought to see where this relationship is going. I really like him, and told him i would like to know more about him. I live in Pittsburgh and he lives in FL. I do want to meet him. He does seem to have the qualities I am looking for in a man.

I am not a young person,but I am cautious, but waiting for years to have a serious relationship is not what I want to do. As a Chrisitian I have prayed that if this is not the man for me, that God would removes him from my life, and if he is the one, God would bless this union. I am opening up alittle everyday to him. He calls me in the morning, texts me and we say goodnight every night. Physical appears don't mean much to me, I look at the heart of the person. That's where true love is. If you look at a persons interman, the outerman looks just as beautiful. I pray that this is the man, that I will spend the rest of my life with. He does want to remarry, and I would like to spend the rest of my life with someone who will love me for who I am, and I love them for whom they are. I wish the best to all on this site, and may God bless you with the desires of your heart!!!


Missa95 4 years ago

Realize it was time to move on. Ands although I have a terrible paid and a spot in my heart that will always remain in my heart I would neve regret that. Christmas break. Falling in love with someone over the Internet is something g you can only understand if it happens to you . But in ways I feel like the break up could be harder than a n


Missa95 4 years ago

Yes! You Definetly can fall in love with someone you have never met. I have. It is the weirdest feeling youu can ever feel.like your heart is full fromm them but broken at the absence of the person. I fell in love with a kid I met online we had talked for a little under a year on and off just simple conversations but over Christmas break we really hit it off we talked everyday all day even tho we weren't with each other we did everything together we always were on the phone he always new when I was upset And howw to make me feel better. He was so understanding and sweet i was overcome in his concern for me and I did fall in love with him he was a bit older than me and he also has a kid and he new that the reality of a long distance relationship along with the age difference would never work and I but the way we would still talk and things he would tell me would make me think that we were in a relationship. He just really confused me. After Christmas break we diddnt talk as much because we both had school and he had to take care of his son and his brothers and sister. And I guess I just didn't understand that and we ended up getti g in a fight because we went from talking all day everyday to talking to maybe five minutes a week and it was hard to adjust to so we ended up screaming at eaxhother on the phone and just stopped talking we texted a few times. But now it's April and I have t heard from him since January. In a way it was the best thing ever but I sometimes regret it because the heart break I went through when we stopped talking was terrible I and he was the only one who could make me feel better. I finally a bout A month ago was able to rwali


Maganda 4 years ago

http://hubpages.com/relationships/Can-you-fall-in-...

hmm hello..

i'm a bit late to comment here? lol xD

well, i also had this sort of "falling n love" with this person I chatted online.

we started chatting last april, just seeing photos on tagged. He's in UK, i'm in Philippines. he was 20, and me 18 back then. april and may we chatted not every day but mostly in a week. i don't have a feelings back then cause he sounded much of a pretty laid back guy. and I was an innocent, decent girl who doesn't entertain guys like that. then june to october, we never chatted. because my computer was in a shit mode lol.

then at the third week of october, we chatted on msn ,with webcam, and geez, he looks good on webcam than his pictures on tagged sites. lol,. knowing that he is a british, made me like him most cause i have this strange interest to british, their accents. xD though i never heard his voice that time.

at that moment we chatted with webcam, we keep on changing smiles. he is damn cute with his dimples and he also complimented me on how cute i am with my smile cause we both have dimples on our cheeks.. lol we're soulmate i guess.

and we're doing some funny faces on webcam, (i gueess we're both bored that time)

then, after that.. i get excited whenever he is online, but unfortunately, our time were not match. i dunno when he will gets online..

and on december, we chatted again , and this time... he became naughty as most guys on the net.. he said, try to strip and u will enjoyed it... (that time i was also curious or maybe trying to pleased him, i tried to strip, he didn't force me to strip, he is just ok if i will not strip but the thing is , the more the guy trying to be in "gentleman mode", the more i am challenge to do it xD.

and so I did stripping on cam, hahaha and after that i really had fun doing it, looking at his damn face ... xD

and I keep on telling him to come and visit me cause its more complicated for me to go there since UK is not an open country. then we had this conversation bout marriage, and after that , we made a deal that if we will be both single me at age 23 and him at his 25, we will get married... lol, i don't expect this deal much to come true cause knowing him, living in a liberated country, in no time he can have gf.. i'm 19 now, will be 20 this yr, and he's 21 now will be 22 this yr,.. we keep on chatting these days.. i know now the time he gets online,.. when we chatted with no cam.. we just had this boring conversation.. just sending emoticons.. he doesn't have any topics to share.. he is very secretive, but he knows i'm stalking him on facebook though were not friends on facebook. and i think he's a good person cause even his mother is proud of him lol.. "i read some comments of her mom to his wall".. and we're both weird.

but when we chatted with cam.. it took hours to finish the conversation.. just seeing his face on cam made me smile.

and we had camsex lol that was on march.. xD he quite influences me to do naughties.. xD and now i can't get over to him. he let me do things i didn't did before.

and this week, i try to stop doing naughty on cam with him. if he will stop chatting me, that proves he's not the guy for me..

i also told him bout me , "what if i stop doing naughty, is he able to chat with me", he answered that he will still chat me no matter what, cause he find me gawjus , good , sexy..

...duh.. tbh, he is the only guy i chatted that I stripped on.. lol.. nways, thats my story.. it maybe lust.. but i keep on longing that we will meet in person, cause I had this imagination that we will not get bored xD , he really took the time to figure me out... the thing is he won't tell me his address lol.. he keep on asking why.. but I won't tell him the reason.. "the reason is this, i want to send him a letter to true mails, not the mails thru internet" lol..

he had his part time job, me is still a college student..

what is ur advise ? what can u say bout this guy and me? i'm very much open to all ur opinions and suggestions...

p.S.. he's the only guy that I chatted that i feel excited and always keep me smile like an idiot.. though i chatted other guys online .


sandra 4 years ago

i have this strange feeling of connection of a guy from another country i have never met this guy but i feel that were connected some how its strange i have never incounterd this before and it scares the hell out of me i need answers :(


rainbow_girl 4 years ago

Hi,

I met a guy in internet 2 weeks ago, and he said he fell in love with me at the first sight. To be frank, I've got the same feeling as he does.But, the problem is; he lives so far far far away from me, I'm an Asian girl while he's a scottish who stays in England, is there any future for my relationship with him? Since I haven't known more about him, but I feel my feeling goes stronger all the time, that' what he confessed to me as well. We use Facebook to communicate, sometimes call each other through phones...somebody give me advice, please...


Bella 4 years ago

Yes it is possible beacause i do luv someone i met over the enternet but i think hes a fake i mean he said he did a rapping video on youtube but when i looked up his username it said no user found and then his picture i know it a boy but online its kindof blurry so i think its fake he sounds so mature and immature sometimes and i even gave him my # but for sum reason he doesnt want to even txt me when he says stuff like "I love yu...i wish i could get in yu if yu'd let me" to me all the time. Id luv to here wat u guys think but my heart tells me wat i already know i just dont want to admit it


Just Wondering 4 years ago

Okay so mine is the weirdiest out of all the stories i've read. I met this guy on a playstation I've got for christmas, Yes a playstation and yesh im 20 years old. Well, anyway I've played games with him i've talked to him through I.M and webcam and I talk to him through A mic..Everyday.. not just every other 3 days or 2 days EVERYDAY I'm actually falling for this guy i have never met before and I don't know what to do I live in the US and he live in Canada... I told him how i felt and he feels the same, I dont know I've never met anyone online before face-to-face and i'm scared.. I don't want to get hurt so I looked up online relationships on google and here i am...Alittle advice?


Brenden 4 years ago

Found it comical that somebody, who never met the guy she was referring to, posted:

"I've fallen in love with somebody I met online and I love him inside and out."

Hate to by the pessimist here, but true love doesnt just 'happen' online. It can be started online, yes. But it never fully develops til you meet the person and spend some time with him/her.


Brenden 4 years ago

Hahaha, NO!

You can't fall in love with somebody that you never met. Any love interest over the internet is just attraction to an internet personality.

A.) Conversation online is not spontaneous whatsoever. People can really play themselves up through IM conversation because they have infinite time to think abut their response. This leads to expectations which cannot be met when meeting face-to-face

B.) Love, despite what people may say, is partially rooted in physical attraction.

C.) You can never really know a person completely through internet interaction.

D.) Seeing your love interest's interaction with OTHER people is very important IMO

Even if I'm wrong about all that, I am sure that love between people who are physically together is the strongest and most developed love.


da13 4 years ago

Hi, i met a guy over internet (facebook) 2 years ago.. when we first started chatting we became good friends and after a month of knowing me he proposed me..till then he didn't see my pic and he told me that he loves me as who i'm... i wasn't expecting a proposal from him as he told me that he likes someone (who he had chatted on facebook before) and so keeping this in mind that i might be just another girl for him i refused but then he became very emotional and as i too liked him a lot as a person i decided to give our relationship a go ... honestly, now i really think i'm deeply in love with him as we've chatted, video called, talked on phone but thing is i get scared as a friend of mine has had a really bad experience of net relationship .. so even after more than a year of knowing each other i'm fully confused. I think he does love me a lot as he always make time out for me, and he is eagerly waiting to visit n marry me in some years time as he is studying now... but i am really not getting what to do though i love this guy


sierramarie 4 years ago

You all may not believe this when I say I am 17, but I've been best friends and really really close friends with this guy. In two days it'll be our one year friendship and we know everything about each other. Thing is, I met him over Facebook because my best friend and her boy friend are really close to him. They said he would be good for me. I got to know him and now I love him so much. We've never met in person yet. As far as things are going now I plan on taking him to prom so we can meet in person for the first time. I do love him and would love to live the rest of my life with him. I have a very emotional attachment to him already. He's like my life, not even kidding. Is it weird or healthy that if I go one day without hearing from him I have nightmares of him leaving me..? because i do every time although I know he'd never do that..


Lost chic 4 years ago

I've been dating this guy for about nine or ten months now, we met through my good friend. The problem is I haven't met him before nor seen a picture of him. Yes, he has seen photos of me and he thinks that I am beautiful, but it's just not the same. My good friend pretty much controls our relationship which I think is crazy. She will not let him send pictures of himself to me or let him speak to me on the phone. She says that it will make everything stronger in the long run. It makes me extremely angry at the fact that she is sticking her nose into someone else's relationship when she should be controlling her own with her boyfriend. (FYI my friend and my boyfriend know each other) I text him everyday. He is a really good guy, but I guess I just really want to know what he looks like. Sometimes I wish my friend would just disappear so that she couldn't dictate my love life... Quite frankly I think its none of her business. It really bothers me. What should I do, I'm so confused!!!


newtothis 4 years ago

Just wondering why all of the entries from the last year disappeared? Was enjoying reading through the more recent stories and posts and now they are gone??


nicole 4 years ago

Well I'm 13. I met a boy on yahoo. We are now friends on facebook. Now we have eachothers number. And I am in love with him. He lives in illinois. I live in wasington, we've never met. It is possible to fall in love with a person you never met! We are already thinking when we do meet we could go to disneyland. And he is already starting to name kids if we do have kids when we grow up. We are already making plans on how to meet since we both found out we are moving to pheonix arizona this summer so we may get to meet in person!


Gary 4 years ago

YESS! I fell in love with the most wonderful woman of all time. We met online and started texting. That lead to a few phone calls (hours long) until we decided to meet for dinner. I already knew I loved her before meeting. At dinner I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She is better than I could have ever imagined. After dinner we went to the movies,where we didn't see more than two minutes, where we told each other "I love you" it was the best night of my life. We live about an hour from each other and currently trying to figure out how to make it last as far as moving , jobs , etc. She is truly the woman of my dreams and I am deeply in love with her. We have met each others families and everything is fits perfectly, please help me to convince her that we can make the details work. B... I love you!


Anonymous 4 years ago

Yessss!!!! I'm in the biggest dillema . I met this guy online through twitter, and we began to talk . Our conversations were amazing to the point were I really believed this relationship was meant to be . I finally met him face to face today and ... It was so awkward because his looks are NOTHING to what I expected!! Nothing ! He reached in for a kiss and I was so turned off u couldn't do it. But we've been talking about how our first kiss was going to be for so long. I don't know what to do.


elpadre 4 years ago

After going through some "bitter" internet relationships, a month ago someone contacted me from a dating site and I decided to do it different. I wanted to meet asap and minimize the "email" contact. We did did email & talkon the phone and it all seemed okay. But I was not going to jump in until I saw the person "live". We finally met and I felt like I was hit by a "bolt of lightning". That was 2 weeks ago, the chemistry was so great that I kinda regard it as "love at 1st sight". I do believe that under the right circumstance that there is "love at 1st sight". As Shil1978 said, you must share the same outlook and ideals as to what the ideal partner should be. But YOU MUST MEET as early in the relationship to see if there is that chemistry and to make sure that what you think is really real. The "mind" can easily deceive you especially if you tendency is to open your heart quickly or if you are "anxious". In my situation, now that things are going great we try not to take anything for granted as we learn about eachother. But there is a "leap of faith" that you sometimes have to take to make a relationship work, as long as the ingredienst are there.


sweetwitch 4 years ago

Thank you Tyler, Yes I do hope that things will go smooth, even though they dont Im ready to face them with him together, and if it's meant to be then that's the way it wil be. I woud ike to hear you story on your online relationship...if you dont mind ofcourse...Just wanted to know if it lasted or not. I think we are all learning new things here by reading all these posts by other people...Good Luck to all.


Confused... 4 years ago

I can say that I did fall in love over the internet and still feel that love for her to this day, we're young and you could say that I may not love this girl because of said reason. Another girl tried to take me away from her as she eventually had her way, but I didn't feel the same way as I did with the girl I met online, and the girl who stole me was poison. So I didn't let it go any further. You may call that fake love or 'lust', but I still felt regret to this day about what I did to the young woman I loved all along. I can't promise to myself that I will still be with her in 5 years time, but I know I will never find a more amazing person than her and I will never let any girl tell me that we won't work ever again. It's very long distance, so what? Love isn't defined in black and white, it is based on your own judgement of the relationship. If you can say that you can wait however long it takes to be with that boy, girl, man or woman, then you know that it will work. It just takes time in most cases.


Tyler P 4 years ago

Had I not been in a LDR and thought I could find love I wouldn't have searched for this page. I don't claim to know it all because I don't...do you? This page is for sharing experiences and the only reason I shared what I did with you is because I have been through some tough times and was hoping it would help others to see that sometimes things aren't what they seem. Its not being negative its being real. But Im a guy, a real guy and is only my opinion. Again my best to you sweetwitch and I hope you find what you are looking for.


Tyler P 4 years ago

In no way am I telling anyone how to feel sweetwitch. I too have been in love and in an online LDR so I DO know what you are going through. Will not preach to you on how to live your life we are all free to do what we want. Just be careful ok? I hope everything works out for you and the only reason I made the comment about 5 people on the side is because I was actually in that situation with a girl and found out the hard way. Sounds like you know what you want and you got your priorities in order so follow your heart. All my best to you.


shalini 4 years ago

this passege is qiut useful to me .cuz im facing this stiuation right now !!!!!!!.i wish that one day both of us can see face-to-face.....hope so in the future (:......


Freddy B 4 years ago

It's all in the heart if you feel it in your heart then who can say different...follow your heart and when I say follow your heart if it fails then SELF is BLAME.... no Excuses....READ ME..


sweetwitch 4 years ago

Sorry im back...Like I was saying he has tried to pay my trip over to see him since he is unable to because of his job, Im the one that has not wanted to go because of other reasons..But I am heading up to him in 2 months. I just can't understand how people can be in a ldr for more than 6-8 months...him and I talk about it all the time..And he never gets me mad, yes we have our spats and stuff but he is a very good man..very family oriented,good hearted..I mean you can fake being a certain way for so long, sooner or later you wil be discovered. So we are both taking the leap together. thank you Tyler.


sweetewitch 4 years ago

@Tyler, I sorry I did not mean to disrespect you on my last post. The situation with my guy and I is this one..he has been trying to fly me to where he is at, Im the one that decided I wanted to wait.....I have a phone call but i shall be back and explain.


sweetwitch 4 years ago

@Tyler, we are all entitled to our own opinion, and I respect that. I'm not going to sit here and argue with you about something that you yourself have never experienced. I have known a lot of people that have met online and that today are happily married. It's like Shil1978 wrote, It is possible to fall in love, you just need to know if you are ready to be able to push aside the importance of the physical attraction. I will ignore your comment about him having 5 gf on the side. Who are we to judge anyone on the way people fall in love? If people all felt the same and did everything the same way it would be a very boring world, People on line fall in love from the inside out, maybe you are not able to do that, and if that works for you, then fine. Just don't expect it to be the same for everyone else, because its not. It's like you are telling people how they are supposed to feel..really?

None of the things I said did i mean to sound cute at all...I wrote that in a moment of frustration. We are sure that we do love each other and since he cannot transfer his job to me, I'm going to him in a couple of months. I know he is not perfect, none of us are. But I'm willing to accept the bad with the good. This relationship has as many chances to work out or not like any other relationship you ay have. I will come and comment on our relationship once we are together and i will et all of you how it turned out. Good luck to all of you and please don't let anyone tell you how you should love. We are all different and we will all love differently.


sweetwitch 4 years ago

@hayley..yes that is exactly what happens with me...It is so frustrating, I just don't know how people can be talking for yrs and not go crazy..Hayley emmail me, maybe if we can talk about it we can give each other comfort and therapy.;)

intellectualbrat@aol.com


Tyler P 4 years ago

Hayley, sweetwitch u both sound like wonderful caring girls. Why are you putting yourself through all of this anguish? I know the pull to go to your online sweetheart is strong, and you just can't get enough. But I would give it 6 months at most, and if someone "loves" you bad enough they are going to find a way to see you or meet you. If they haven't by then, something is not right. I've had online experiences with women and have met a few that I am interested in, I even made the effort to fly to one that was 3 states away only to get there and find out she had a boyfriend already and I was just a fantasy guy that she never thought she would meet. I agree, yes, things sometimes do work out and you really do meet the love of your life online. All Im saying is if you are crying and pining over someone and it is making you angry at them, is it worth it? Wouldn't it be better to look around you where you are and meet real people? Again not trying to be mean just trying to make you understand that you are women that are probably lonely and the contact from these guys make you feel wanted and loved and even though it feels so good when this happens, its more of a crash when things don't go the way you want. Please take care girls. If you feel its worth it, go for it. But if you don't, don't waste anymore of your precious time when true love may be right outside your door.


Sireen 4 years ago

I've been chatting with this guy through email FB and Twitter for a year ago but I have no Idea if he feels the same. I'm in Korea and he's in Scotland, I know him because he's a music producer(not famous) and I'm kind of his fan at first, we'd talked to each other on twitter then emails because I asked him to send me his music and this made us talk more often and eventaully he asked for facebook, we talk about everything such as what I like, what I've been doing, what is my goal for this year and stuff. He encourage me to do what I like and likewise I cheer him up too. We have sweet moments sometimes but maybe It's just because he's a friendly and nice guy. And this confuses me what it is between us, and I always be jealous of one of his girl friend when I see them talk to each other haha I realise that I'm not the only one he talks with and treats well. I try to stop talking with him so many times but everytime I tweet or post something sounds confusing and sad on facebook in English(since I'm Korean so I always write things in Korean but English sometime since I have some foreign friends) he will ask me what makes me feel sad and I have to lie to him every time that I'm stressed out with my work when It's all because of him. Sometimes I want him to know what I feel but I don't want to break our friendship, I'm scared if he doesn't feel like I feel and because we've never met so It's impossible for me to tell a guy that I like him. I asked some of my boy friends here when I wonder something he did but Asians and Europeans are different so I can't even guess how he feels for me haha


hayley 4 years ago

@sweetwitch, your not alone!!!!!! OMG it feels so good to know someone going through the same thing. i get angry at him all the time because we arnt together... i just start crying sometimes because i feel so happy thinking about us cuddling in bed and i cry cause im hugging a pillow not him!


Jean 4 years ago

I think i love someone I met online, but I'm so young, how can I be sure?


Tyler P 4 years ago

How do you know that he knows your worth it? What an arrogant thing to say? This is all speculation on your part. Im sorry if you think Im harsh but this is reality talking here. All Im saying is if I had an "online" girlfriend/relationship and she hung up on me and treated me like crap it wouldn't be worth it to hang on. Maybe he is nice to you because he has five other girls that he has on the side? How do you really know? Your racial issue is nothing compared to the way you treat eachother and if you think its "cute" how he always is so sweet to you even when you get mad at him, I think thats crazy. I agree with Joanne 100% it is all fantasy until you actually meet this guy. Yeah it is possible to fall in love online, but in order to continue this "love" you need to meet and spend time with eachother or it is nothing more than words on a page or on the phone. Ive seen way too many friends get hurt by this sweetwitch, if the words hurt Im sorry but you need to hear this and be aware of what is going on.


joanne 4 years ago

It isn't possible to love someone without knowing them and you really don't know someone over the Internet. So what you have described is a fantasy.


sweetwitch 4 years ago

Tyler Im not like that all of the time...Believe me if he is still there is because he knows Im worth it..I treat him with much love and respect even though I have moments like yesterday that I totally feel I can't do it any longer..and I let the frustration take the best of me...Maybe I needed for you to tell me what you just did...Im not afraid of harsh words..although I dont agree with you that he should walk I do agree that I become emotional. There are alot of other things that are happening that Im not enclosing because of the personal situation..But its crazy and I hope that all goes well..Im also facing my family stating that they will turn their backs on me if I decide to go with him...He is black and Im white..:( I was not expecting this from them, im a grown woman and I think they are being unfair not to mention racist...So can you see why the frustration? And that was just to mention 1.....Thank you Tyler.


Tyler P 4 years ago

Sweetwitch maybe he controls it better because he is mature, you sound like an emotional basket case and if I had a woman that was picking fights with me & hanging up on me just to see what kind of "reaction" she could get out of me I would it would be over. Can't believe this dude actually calls you back and says I love you...sorry to be harsh but if you need him to calm YOU down, that is seriously messed up. And you think this will all magically go away when you meet eachother? Wow...all I see is red flags galore, and Im a GUY!!! Too much drama for me sorry.


sweetwitch 4 years ago

I need some imput from you. Do you ever get frustrated with the LDR? I miss my guy so much..someties I get emotional and I start crying because its so frustrating wanting to be with him and I feel i can't wait any longer. We have so many plans together, but it wont be happenig for a few more months. I just feel so empty when Im not in contact with him even though we talk 7-8 hrs a day, we text, emails..He feels the same someties but ofcourse he controls it so much better than I do. Sometimes I pick fights with him and hang up on him and all he does is tell me he loves me, he is never mean with me...I will call him back after many hrs of him texting or calling to please not let go of us :( Im such a bitch..god i have never felt this way before..This is so crazy. I always end up calling him back crying telling him I love him with all my heart. He then calms me down and tells me how we will be together soon. Do you guys get like this? Its so frustrating for me. I dont know how much more I can take.


Anastasia 4 years ago

Oh, I'm relieved that apparently it aint only me who got trapped in this kind of situation. I even thought that I must have been so stupid to fall for someone I met through facebook. So, there was this guy, he added me someday, and I saw that we only had one mutual friend. Usually, I will just ignore a request from a stranger like that, but I had no idea why I accepted his request. Then he started to comment on some of my posts, then it makes me realize that we have many things in common. The next thing is, we got closer and communicated not only through facebook, but we also text and talking through phone. We talked about anything, and later he always calles me every night after he got home from work just to share anything he had in that day. I am actually a kinda introvert person and cannot speak about my personal things with others easily, even with my close friends. But I did not know why I feel so comfort and never bothered to share some personal problems with him. Even he was the one who comforted me when my beloved granny passed away. In short, he was the one who was always there for me every time I need, though we can just reach each other through phone.

He used to live in a city 2 hours from mine, and once he said he wished that he could meet me when he visit my city. When he said that, I felt like thousands of butterflies tickle my stomach, then I realized that maybe I have fallen for him. I was afraid, confused and worried a lot, I mean, how come I fall in love with someone I never met in real life? Since then, I always waited for his text or call everyday. And if I did not hear for him even only for a day, I was like "OMG, what's wrong with him? is he okay? or he is just bored with me that he wouldn't call anymore?" but I never had the guts to call him first.

I also remember once he asked me why I had no boyfriend and that made me speechless, lol. I couldn't stop thinking about him and wondering how it will be when we finally meet up. Until one day he said that he had to move to a another city (and it is actually located in a different island), it made our chance to meet up smaller. In the first two months or three he still contacted me, even more intense than before as he lives by himself there and not many people he could talk to. Yet, later I felt that he got busier and we started to have a bigger gap between us. Then he called me once a week or two, and I got worried more but still did not know what to do. I always hoped that he felt the same way I do and when I finally got the guts to tell him that I really miss him because I think I fell for him, I saw a girl in posted something in a romantic way on his facebook profile and I found out that she was his ex, and they seem to attempt to date again. I was like, ummmm... I dunno... I even can't feel any pain as I felt like I lost my soul. It took me quite long before I can heal my pain finally. Yeah, I'm okay now and finally I can say hi to him again after few months not talking to him. Well, though it was painful, I never regret that I liked him as this gave me a beautiful experience :)

I still can feel that he loves me as a friend, and maybe a sister, and I wish he knows that I'm always so thankful to know him in my life.


ti_to 4 years ago

I've been chatting to this guy I met on an online dating site about 3 weeks ago. Last week he got deployed to the Gulf as part of his job. He said he will be gone for at least a month and will message me again when he gets back because he has no internet or phone connection whilst he is out there. I can't stop thinking about him and I really think I'm falling for him. The feelings have got stonger since I havent had any contact with him in the last week. Is this because of the unknown? Help!


lili21 4 years ago

I think falling in love via the intrnet is not a fantasy.. Actually I met a guy on facebook, we love each other and we're planning to get married.. he's 1000 miles away from me, but we talk everyday on skype.. Wish us good luck.. and God bless the internet :)


sweetwitch 4 years ago

@Kim..Im so sorry!! I had tears coming down my face as I read your story...I dont know what I would do if this would happen to me...Im so ver much in love with the man in my life..we are hoping to meet real soon....Believe me I know what you are feeling, I feel that I have never loved anyone like I love this man..Not even my late husband..It's incredible how people can sit back and sa that this is not possible..well it is!! I hope you can move on and get on with your life..again im sorry,but to know that you had the greatest love of all is so amazing.


Kim 4 years ago

Yes it is possible to fall in love with someone you have never met. I met a man five years ago over the phone and we talked everyday for the past five years. We lived 1489 miles apart and we never met. He was a part of me and I will love him until the day I die. He was my best friend. He died suddenly last month and my heart is broken. I don't know how to breathe without him.

He was married which I knew from our very first phone call. We really never had much of a desire to meet in person. We were really just good friends. It was an easy relationship. We could tell each other anything and really open up to one another. We were both really happy with our own lives. We had a lot in common. He made me laugh until I cried. He was a brilliant lawyer and even won a supreme court case. He did a lot of pro bono work for the ACLU.

No one in his life knew about me except for one co-worker of his. I found out that he died on facebook. I hadn't heard from him in a few days and his vm mailbox was full which I thought was odd. I went to his fb page to see if he had put out a message and it said he had died.

I contacted his co worker and he told me he did not show up for work for two days and was not answering his phone. Their protocol was to call the police. They found him in his condo alone dead. His wife was in the hospital when he died. The co-worker said it was from natural causes. An autopsy was done but I can't get the results because I'm not the next of kin. I'll never know what he died of.

My life is now empty and meaningless. It never occurred to me that he could die. My best friend is gone. There was not even an obituary in his local paper. If he had a funeral I couldn't even attend it.

I love and miss him so much. If he was sick he never told me. I should have sensed it. He was my world.


Taylinn 4 years ago

*sigh*

I have been reading all these stories, and i came to a conclusion.. I may be falling for him.

I just met him a few months ago. Infact i met him on New Year.

i thought i was deeply in love with my ex of almost 3 years.. And since i had gotten a new android phone, i was trying to download some apps.

funny thing was, i saw an app called Badoo, i was curious thinking it was something with pandas (bamboo) haha i know im so lame -________-

Anywho, its turned out it had nothing to do with pandas hahaha. Badoo is a dating site.

Back to my story.. this so calle Jacob guy messaged me saying, "Happy New Year!"

I saw the message and his picture and i said "well hes okay looking so i might as well distract myself" (by the way his picture was small so i couldnt teally see him q: )

i ended up messaging him back wishing him a happy new year.

he told me he was on his way for a basketball game (he's a college basketball player)

and that he had been in the bus for 12 hours.

We kept messaging eachother, asking questions and what not.

The thing is, i felt so comfortable messaging him as if i knew him already.

I have been messaging him nonestop since January 1st, 2012.

Of course he wouldnt flirt with me, but as the weeks passed, we became really friendly with eachtother. he messages me "goodmorning beautiful" everyday day and "good night beautiful, mauhhhh!!!" everynight.

i have learned so much about him, he's 19 almost 20, 6'2, beautiful smile, amazing pesonality, a gamer, light brown hair and brown eyes, I swear he is a younger version of Chris Gorham c; he's only had ONE girlfriend in his whole life (that really touched me)

anyways, one day we were playing around and somehow the convesation leaded us agreeing that we're getting married (this summer on June 2nd)

I would DO anything for that to come true.

i live in San Antonio Texas, and he lives in Willinston North Dakota. we are about 3,315 miles away yet i feel as if he were right next to me.

yesterday (3/18/12) he confessed that I.. I was the only girl he felt comfortable with.. That he had a overwhelming want to hug me.. As i read it i couldnt help but shed a tear and smile.. A smile from ear to ear. I want to tell him how i feel but im so scared to get rejected or to stop talking/messaging him.

As much as i try, i cant help but think he's perfect. Not just physically but from the inside. his personality in beautiful, he says he has flaws but as much as i try i cant seem to find any. we have so much in common we think alike. And i dont know what to do. 8 really dont ): I would do ANYTHING for him. I feel like he's my soul mate, the love of my life. my father might be moving to Montana, and if he does i'll move with him that way i'll be a few miles away from Jacob.

He says im beautiful inside and out, he makes me feel wanted, loved, happy. he doesnt even need to try to make me smile. Just receiving a small message brightens up my day, and when we dont talk i cant help but frown....

I wish June 2nd will come true. theres so much more i have to say about him, but this is already TOO long. What can i do?? Is this really love??


Hayley 4 years ago

I met a man on the Internet and we fell in love. i have never loved anyone before and we talk everyday throught text, email and calling each other. He only lives 45minutes away from me and wont see me it has now been 7 months since we first met online and i cant handle this emotional rollercoaster anymore i feel we are meant for each other but he has jealously and trust issues which he is trying to sort out before we meet. it feels good knowing that other people have fallin in love over the internet aswell i dont feel so alone. but today i broke it off with him because i cant handle it any longer im scared im wasting all my energy on him and he i feel he lies to me and breaks promises but his made me feel like no one else ever has.


alittlehelpneededplease 4 years ago

I know i may be quite late in commenting on this but i have only just come across this site and suddenly i dont feel so alone and odd, well not so much as i did half an hour before i found this link...thank you google! My own situation is rather confusing, along with my own feelings, and to be frank i dont know if im being taken for a ride or if this is something worth sticking with :S. I met a guy via an online chatroom back in sept '11 and we spoke briefly online a few times before it transcended into telephone conversations and i sent him pictures of me although i was never bothered by looks so i never did ask for pictures of him, so he never sent me any. To start off with we were just mates and he would say that he was looking out for me like a friend. The thing is we never spoke frequently we would chat once every 2 maybe even 3 weeks, he was always busy with work and i being a student didnt really feel comfortable intruding on what could be his work time. He always has and does initiate conversation. Lately over the past few months things have shifted he has asked to meet up several times, and when we've arranged to do so he never pulls through and me not wanting to seem desperate I dont call or text him to ask him about our upcoming date. Whenever we do talk for some reason he tries to shift the conversation onto more adult topics, not outride talks of sex bt rather questions about personal and private things. I honestly dont know what to make of this on the one hand we connect a lot, and I do like him, but then the lack of frequent correspondence makes me think that i am nothing more than an afterthought to him, I have sadly been so desperate after long periods of silence from him that i'v deliberately sent him texts written for friends and then texted him after apologising and asking how he is, but heres the really lame thing hes never responded. It hurts, I dont know what to make of this, the last time we spoke he kept hinting and insinuating things about us and about how much he cared for me, bt yet again another proposed date has come and gone and he hasnt been in contact. The optimistic part of me thinks maybe he really is just that busy, but deep down i know its a load of rubbish. I'd just like someone to tell me that im doing the right thing by ending this even though i feel so sad at the thought of ending something before its really even taken off, i mean i havent even met him in person spent the day with him you know :( im so confused its just depressing.


Sam 4 years ago

IMO it's rare and pure, cause both individuals share something special. Unlike a normal relationship you do not hang out or have any physical contact. Everything is based on emotion. You could easily communicate difficult things with your partner when it comes to such relationship.

I've been there done that, and im sad to say ours wasn't pure enough.


sweetwitch 4 years ago

Thank you El Padre....From your mouth to Gods ears....I pray that this be my final ride on the train of love...I wish you the same my friend.


sweetwitch 4 years ago

Helen, angle for what? Im not sure I understand..But If you want to talk please email me...maybe we can comfort each other..i think when you are on an online relationship alot of questions always pop up..and when you find someone that is going thru the same things you are it helps alot to talk about it. Intellectualbrat@aol.com


Helen 4 years ago

I would like to tell you my story. I am in my 50's and recently joined (for the first time) a mature dating site. Someone contacted me who lived quite a way away but still wanted to chat. We exchanged phone numbers and after about a week he started telling me he had fallen in love with me and wanted to meet me. He sent me love letters and we spent hours on the phone, he put a photo of me on his phone and was showing it to people (he said). He would message or phone or email me two or three times a day at least. He wanted me to send slushy messages to him every morning and he continually told me he loved me. But, everytime he arranged to meet up he would cancel at the last moment with some excuse or another. Each time it was followed by a pleading message asking me not finish with him.He recently sent me something with my name on but he gave me his surname. I have seen photos of him, his daughters and his house and he gave me his address and home phone number so he isn't making up his identity but I think he has got a real problem. Stupidly, I told him all about my last relationship which was not very nice - I had a bad time - and my daughter thinks I gave him an angle to work on. It has really upset me and made me wonder if I can trust people again which is a shame because I do not want to be on my own for the rest of my life.I am angry with myself for being taken in.


Edey 4 years ago

I am in love with some one whom I know him online.We have been talking for about 4 months.We talked through skype ,seeing face to face.I think that contributes a lot to develop trust each other.There is a big distance between us.We are about to meet soon.I do not think new thing would happened .I am just optimist about it.


elpadre 4 years ago

Hey Sweetwitch you are a beautiful person! The universe will take care of you, especially someone who believes!!

You have to believe if you want to be a happy, it's a leap of faith!! May the Universe bless u!!:-)


Sweetwitch 4 years ago

@ El Padre..Im so sorry for your experience..I guess she was not ready. Hopefully you will stay positive.

All we are doing is falling in love from the inside out..I have noticed this doesn't always work for everyone..I guess the chemistry has to be there...We always look for the physical attraction...We can't be shallow people...the beauty fades away and all we are left with is the passion the love we carry inside our hearts..When I was 18 I did meet this guy over the phone that my friend introduced me to, we met and we were together for 2 yrs. But it doesn't always work that way.

The way we are doing it now through the Internet is that we get to know everything about this person, if they are truly open and not so mysterious of course. I have fallen in love with a man that I thought never existed, I thought he was only in my dreams....we come from totally different worlds, he is African American and I'm Cuban. I'm so in love with him, he is amazing. We met on a Astrology web site, none of us were looking for a relationship at all...I had bee on that web site since 2008 and him maybe since 2010, but I had left and then came back and when I got back for some reason without even knowing who he was I felt attracted to him all of the time..if that makes any sense...I would follow him and always read his posts...and he said he felt the same way...It was very weird...too weird...when one day he decided to say hello, when I said something to him about a post I had written he said he knew I was for him, He sent me a private message and said *I'm the man for you* I was like ok????? lol believe me when I tell you that this was a crazy feeling.

2 months prior to us starting to chat he said he had asked God to please let him meet his soul mate.

Today we are madly in love with each other and are currently making plans for me to relocate to where he lives now so we can start a life together...It's crazy I know..It is crazy..but the feeling inside is amazing..I have this feeling of needing him and wanting him in my life..yes the sexual wanting is there but its just not about that,,it's wanting him to hold me and keeping me safe..It's the feelings that you normally get when you have already met..not over the phone..if there are any passionate ladies in here you will understand what I'm talking about..it's an amazing feeling. We know what we want and what we are ready to go through to get to where we want. It won't be easy because we have along road ahead of us..but we are ready. We are both good looking people and that part doesn't scare us. My older kids tell me that I'm too old for this but I don't feel old and I don't think I look bad either...I'm 45 and he is 42..I can seriously say that I have ever loved anyone the way I love this man! One last advice to anyone that is really thinking about going through this is DO NOT be around negative people, they will shut down your dreams and make you feel worthless and stupid. Don't let anyone decide what is right for you, You try and if it doesn't work well then you know you tried and you will never have that little voice inside saying *What if*...Good Luck!!


Nick 4 years ago

I can't say that I've "fallen in love" with someone online because I don't know what it is to "fall in love". I CAN say that I've found the perfect candidate online to "fall in love" with and I daydream constantly about her and if it ever does happen, I'll come back and share more!

Cheers!


violetdreams 4 years ago

Sandra, I am not Shil, but you are killing ME with your post. You are crying every night, saying you can't see a future and asking how much more you can take. Sandra; YOU are in charge of your own life, how much more are you WILLING to take. I understand what its like to love someone that is far away but be realistic with yourself. This sounds like more pain than love. What are you getting out of this but heartache? Is the contact you have with him enough to override the heartache and pain you are going through? I have been in the same boat and I dragged it out for 4 years until I finally had to shut my computer off and move on. Only you can decide what to do but I'm just saying; from reading your post, you sound desparate and you deserve better than that. I wish you the best Sandra.


sandra 4 years ago

Hi Shil. It's me again. I feel so weak and tired. I love him, but it's killing me that I can't touch him, hug or even kiss. I told you he is learning english. He is, but it's very slow learning and I don't know if he will really come to me. It's almost 9 months and I feel so alone with this. I am crying almost every night. I love him very much, but I can't see the future ;( I know this will not be solved in short time. But how long and how much more I can take...


Dalia 4 years ago

Love is so crazy and the world is so small I have a long distance relationship of a year I met my boyfriend in the internet and I found out that we had we lived in the same town and had the same friends and went to the same school but we had never meet or seen eachother I find it crazy,till this day we havent meet we txt and talk everyday I feel so close to him even though it gets hard because we are not together there is no guy that has became my bestfriend and boyfriend I dont regret meeting him he has been one of my real relationships.


bibi 4 years ago

congrats as long as your happy then go for it , family cant tell you how to live your life and make your decisions for u at the end the day your the one that supposed to be happy :)when you say double life i know exactly what you mean my parents are even against the taught of me finding someone on the net in a diff country let alone younger i will break the news in time to come but i have to be sure .


Samekh 4 years ago

Hmmm, I met a guy over the internet last christmas when I was bored, and we started having voice calls every day. We talked about politics, religion, culture, dating, parents, dreams, problems, all that stuff and it didn't take long before we started calling each other every day and got in a sort of routine: he'd call me, we'd talk and talk and talk, and we forgot to sleep, came late for school and work every day, started sending each other things through the mail, I started using his social networking sites and Gmail... Now after more than two months we have decided that we want to be together, get married. It'd difficult, cause I didn't tell anyone about this guy and he didn't tell anyone about me, I am really leading a double life; school, friends, parents, and then at night I talk to him. We are trying to figure out which country would be best for us to live, but it's hard (I have dual citizenship on two different continents and he lives in a very different country + our countries and peoples are at war with each other), and I don't know if it's gonna work out or not, but I am in love with this guy now and I believe that God brought us together for a reason. Whichever reason. Maybe he brought us together just for this time, or maybe he brought us together because we are meant to be.


bibi 4 years ago

That is such a interesting story makes me want to cry i dnt know u but i am happy for you i hope u have all the happines your heart can hold . i never really belive in love on the net because it like alot of drama especially fb you see today in relationship 2mrw single but then i stared chatting to someone younger than my self lives in kashmir friendship turned to love its been 6months now and he never saw me but i see him all the time on webcam we talk everynight on the phone for hrs and he stays awake until 5am i dont know what to think i am so confuse its like i know its gng to end in heartache and pain but still i get mysef deeper and deeper envolved i want to meet up some day but i am so scared what if i dont meet up to his expectations and at the end i ask myself is it love or boredom .


Nonmus 4 years ago

Ok so I met a beautiful man a year ago thru an app on my iPhone. I saw his picture and initially his nationality (islander) is my type so I thought I'd send a MSG saying hey. We got talking and he gave me his number & asked for mine. and from then on it was an instant connection. a text in the morning wasnt so much like a routine for us but just to make sure we both had wished eachother a goodmorning. and it was little phone calls & txt's & Facebook on occasions & then because we both had iPhones we were able to get Skype so from then on it was video calling everyday & we would fall asleep on the phone with our headphones in and we would wake up together in the morning and we would do that every day/night for months things were amazing I wasn't depressed & and I was finally getting. Bk my happiness. I knew he had kids & unfortunately he was away from them at the time so I felt for him. I had been nothing but supportive & I accept him for who & what he has (meaning the kids) but in one week it all came crashing down there had been a friend of his getting in his head because them and I had an argument. And so he told me he needed space. and never contacted me bk so I tried and tried and tried to contact him. & finally I said well I can't do this any more hopefully we can stay friends. We have started talking again and at the start of us doing so he said after a few days of you not texting me It was like I was having withdrawals from you then a week went by and another and another it made me feel as if you really didn't love me, but I tried to make him understand that you cannot expect to shut someone out like that & for them to continue to contact you when they receive nothing back after a whole month. so now like I said we are talking again we are back to where we were & things are looking good. He lives in new Zealand & I live in Australia. & he is flying in tomorrow so I'll be meeting him for the first time in the flesh & I am nervous as anything & excited like you wouldn't beleive. We have recently been talking about me moving over there & I cannot wait. We know each other in side and out. so I believe it is possible there may be some bumps as usual like any relationship. But what I suggest is that if outsiders decide to put there 2 bob in take it & absorb it but be cautious because they can contribute to you missing out on something great. None of my family approve of this but they don't know what's best for me I am a woman who is capable of life choices aswell as love so I will do whatever it takes to make this man mine. For his the only person I have come to love so sincere & extreme for the first time in my life. :)


myIMVUlove 4 years ago

when you meet someone "live" youre not seeing them for who or what they are...youre seeing their physical appearance and that is not what true love is based on. Alot of people miss out on someone that could have possibly been a good friend or even a potential soulmate because they prematurely judged them on looks and outward appearances and not even taking the time to get to know who they are as a person ... That kind of "love" to me is stereotypic and is not the type of love that i want to give nor receive....you dont have to physically SEE someone to love them...I would rather meet someone and want them to get to know me or even possibly love me for my mind and my personality and not for my body... if you find someone whom TRULY knows what LOVE is and is wanting the kind of LOVE that GOD intended for us to have and to hold down here in this world, in this life....then THATS the kind of LOVE thats WORTH HOLDING ON TO!!!!


elpadre 4 years ago

The nice thing about love is that whenever you meet someone new whether it be live, internet or telephone it alway feels unique and different. Do not be afraid to love, open your heart, but be realistic about the logistics. Real true love is only realized when you meet the person live and are seeing them for what they are. It's either you love in the real world or in the "fantasy" world, mind you they sometimes both feel the same. But there is nothing like the real thing! :-)


eXtrememan85 4 years ago

i met a girl over the internet and i known her for a month and i fell in love with her. we havent met but we really want to and we dont know how because we arent old enough to have cars, we live a few towns away. I dont want to tell my parents, we cant think of any ways except if we just run in to eachother for some reason plz help


Chantel 4 years ago

I have fallen in love with someone, He lives in Richlands Virginia, while I'm living in

Phoenix Arizona, we met on facebook, technically over a gay russians status.

But he messaged me, and it all started there, we never seem to miss a day where we don't talk, yes we had one arguement, just one! We've been talking for two or three years, I am 15 going on 16, and he's 16 going on 17, we're both the same zodiac sign and if you look it says twin flames or (soulmates) are usually in the same zodiac sign, and all the signs of having a soulmate we have, but for the longest period of time he had a girlfriend, everyday it hurt me worse and worse, because he knew and I knew we were meant for each other, he said it himself. It was complicated his gf just broke up with him because of me and his drug use, I am his bestfriend/soulmate but his girlfriend I guess was jealous of what we had, that didn't bother me because I helped them get back together. and eventually they broke up again, for good, but now e's coming to phoenix, and we're going to meet tomorrow night, I just hope this goes well, and yes we know what each other look like, but I don't think I'm ready for this yet. I have enormous butterflies. should I call it off?


lush 4 years ago

hi elpadre, i totally agree with u..i have been postive through this experience..bt unfortunately things just took another turn..no matter what people say, i do understand myself and i know he was someone very special to me,i felt a very magical bond with him..but i was very shy to make the first step and waited for him to do so..he never took a step to get to know me either..its been a long time,the feelings are still here and its the first time i am damn sure i am really in love..hoever a lack of communication,do create misunderstanding,and end such a rare but beautiful relationship.and you might just go with another relationship,where that kind of magical love will not be there,but the person is good enough to be your life partner


elpadre 4 years ago

Online dating and relationships are not real. At least until you see someone "face to face" and get to know them, then you are on the path to real love. Our imaginations will fill in "spaces" and we truly feel like we are in love, but is is not real! Can it lead to real love, yes it can, but in talking to hundreds of people and from personal experience, it is very difficult for it to happen. Best case would be to meet someone "live" as soon as possible just to make sure that you are both on the "same page", seeing is believing! Everything else is "make believe". If the other person does not want to meet then you know that they are not "available" for a real relationship.


myIMVUlove 4 years ago

ive been playing this virtual reality game IMVU since july of 2011 and ive met some interesting ppl but i never had any intentions of ever truly meeting nor falling in love with someone over the internet.it NEVER crossed my mind. my intentions were strictly to play the game and have fun. and thats exactly what i did up until a month ago when i started talking to this one guy that i met in one of my clubs on imvu and the circumstances that brought us together were very stressful and i lost some close friends on this game due to becoming in a relationship with this man. but we are a couple on this game and were together as a couple and enjoying our imvu time.... the things is that I NEVER speak my personal life with ANY ONE on this game...I role play and leave it at that...ive giving different ppl my number and i still role play when we speak. I dont have a weird name on this game that would make someone ask me...whats your real name? i have a regular name and people just assume thats my real name and thats cool with me. when they call me on the phone they call me my avatar name and thats that. WELLLLL.... now things have gotta off balance for me....ive fell in love with this man, whom is my imvu husband we talk on the phone EVERYDAY all thru the day and night...for the past 3 weeks i didnt realize how much of an impact he was having on my heart until he told me he loved me.... now im caught up because i really love this man and he doesnt even know my real name. and i have no idea what to do or if i should even do anything. Would you walk away from real love because it was introduced thru role playing????.... smh


A confused one... 4 years ago

I'm in the process of coming out of a real nightmare marriage, in which life seemed to end for me. 4 months later, as of 2 weeks ago, i decided to give it a shot and try that "omegle" site. after days of seeing just immaturity all over that site, i was closing my laptop when i stumbled on this girl. we have talked for 3 days, and all of a sudden i have felt that i could actually believe in finding the right woman. she lives a continent away, and first thing i said about this is that we should meet, while in the meantime we can get to know each other. we said we like each other so far, and we see to have almost all things in common. also, we are both aware were not perfect, and a chat is not knowing a person fully, and as far as i know, we both hate liars, so we seem to be on the same page in this matter as well.

but my biggest fear is falling for her. which i know, it will be very fast by looking at how we talk to each other. I am terrified of being left out in the open again, and i also dont want to sound intense, it isnt my aim to just "close the deal" as soon as possible.

i know time will tell me what will happen, hence the dilemma: i dont know if i should place her as part of my plans, which i can easily do for many reasons, or be cautious.... distance can be a killer, and we are humans after all, people meet new people every day!

and so far, she seems almost perfect. we have even talked of our flaws, weaknesses, etc... you kno? shes a type of woman i would regret not to at least meet.

i am the type of man who learns from experiences, and i would not care if i spend time, effort, money etc to be able to see her. yet, the fear is still there....


bunzee 4 years ago

well....I wud also like to put my comment..

talking abt me i know dis guy from 3 months...we havnt met and we know each other through facebook..we hav shared our numbers and talk wid each other daily...in case we dont get a chance to call we text each other..frankly speaking i kinda lyk dis guy..but i dunno abt his feelings...we talk late at nights..he's a year older than me..he cares abt me...can any1 tell me if he's into me or not??


Reannone 4 years ago

Hey, I've been talking to a boy for a couple of months on Facebook, I really like him and I'm not sure he likes me, we tlk on Skype of hours and I feel as if I'm inlove! He's ex girlfriend cheated on him and he's a very shy/ slow boy, he's nearly 17 and I'm 15 , he's a good boy in sexuall reference so that's not my worries how ever he always talks dirty & its starting to get annoying!

However he a.ways makes me smile & he doesn't live far from me but I'm terrified about meeting him in case he doesn't like me or things turn out to be different...

Also, I get paranoid he talks to other girls in the same way, as Facebook is a downer for that one, he also tells me he loves me & I'm his world but that's after I talk dirty with him...

I don't know what to do because this boys on my mind 24/7 and I don't know if I am on his to? How do I find this out as I would like to know?


dolly 4 years ago

Yes it is possible. i hve fall in live with a person i met on yahoo messanger and i love him from 1year. but i dont know exactly what he think about me but i live to talj with him, wait for himfor an hours an hours... i dont know when that time will come when we will meet but i know onething my love for him will never ever be less whether he is good looking or not... may god listen my prayers n we will meet in coming time.


elpadre 4 years ago

You have to take a "leap of faith" and go with it. Trust your instincts, if it feels right then it is worth the experience. Although very rare, I believe in love at 1st sight!


Will 4 years ago

But what if you dream of someone you've never even spoken to before, and you fall in love with them? What happens then? And what if someday you see the person you've been dreaming about for a long time say at a new school or something and it hits you like a truck, what could all of this mean?


elpadre 4 years ago

just watch your expectations, when you meet it will be the start of the "real" relationship. What you feel right now is "real" to you, but so many factors come into play that it is best to view it as the "before" and "after" as two separate experiences. Just downplay things, you won't regret it!


hoplessromantic 4 years ago

well I'm surprised to read so many people who have experianced the same types of situation as I am now.I started talking to a guy via an online dating site about two months ago he lives about a half hour from me but is currently deployed.we talk everyday and seem to have so much in common and are both looking for something real... he comes home for two weeks at the end of april and I cant wait to see if the feelings i've developed will hold true in person!!!


lush 4 years ago

its been a while i felt something strong for someone ,i really felt it was deep love.day and night,he was on my mind.i was looking forward to the day,i will see him finally. nowadays everything is on display on the web,i am so grateful i found out about him.it has hurt me a lot .the person who i thought shared something special with me only,never geniunely cared about me.it was all in my mind,all those feelings i have cherished in my heart during all that time,vanished .in short, do not keep your expectation too high in these kind of relationship.your mind tells you thats the person ,you imagine so much of things but in the end things can just end up abruptly.


elpadre 4 years ago

Thank you all for sharing your experiences. It's nice to know that we are not alone. We are all suscepticle to emotional contact via any media. In the olden days letters had the same effect except that it took a lot longer for communications. Telephones instantaneous, no "delete" button. Emails on the other hand lets you think about what are going to say and reread before sending. In all these cases our imaginations/dreams filled in the spaces. I think we all fell in love with things or images we created. Will we learn from our mistakes? No, what we did was not a mistake.


misswhitelolly 4 years ago

Yes it possible to fall for someone you never met and i now this because im in love with someone right now that i met 6 mouths ago on the internet i cant stop thing about him.


PWillow 4 years ago

I never thought i would fall in love with someone online. I met this man 5 years ago and we instantly hit it off but for years it was all fun and games, chatting but I never told him specifics about me on anything about were I lived and never gave him my last name. It went like this for three years, we really got very close. It was very addictive we spoke everyday but weekends. I figured he was married or in a relationship because he never spoke of meeting me and he never spoke on weekends. But when we spoke we spoke for hours online. We spoke intimately with each other about life. We had an awesome connection and throughout the three years I still never told him my last name but I noticed that he would put a name on his emails but I thought it was a fake name so I never thought of asking him about it. I was dating and started seeing someone exclusively and I ceased contact with him for several months. At this time he never asked me for a pic nor have I asked him. I really liked him without seeing him, I loved how witty and intelligent he was. He always had an answer for me and we had had this unbelievable banter happening. We were very sarcastic with each other. He had my personality and could keep up with me. I found this very attractive. Anyway I ceased contact because our relationship was not going anywhere besides online and I didn't think it was right to talk to him while I was seeing someone. That Christmas he sent me a Victoria secret Ecard, it came to my email. It had a really nice card attached to it and it was for a large amount of money. I was shocked I thanked him and said I would never use it, that he shouldn't have spent so much money on me. He said enjoy it still not asking for anything. The guy I was dating didn't work out and I didn't care. I loved this man! He was a wonderful guy! So for two years after this I was very forward with him, I started texting and speaking to him on phone but we texted mostly. He never wanted to meet. I wasn't forcing him but more in a teasing way. He lives like 550 miles from me in another state but the miles didn't matter I loved this man. So amazing! I knew he had to be married and he sent me the gift to secure me to talk to him. He didn't want out of speaking online and i believe the gift was to secure me being there. He said that one day we will meet and that he was not married but involved. Whatever that meant? Anyway I learned that the name he gave me for the last Two years was his real name. I was already so in love with him and it seemed he was into me but couldn't ever commit in seeing me. He is a professional and has a website were he is speaking on it. This was the first time I saw him and I told him he was very handsome! He was. He claimed he looked different that was an old video. He is very tall and big man. But adorable! I thought maybe he thought he was big and I wouldn't like him and that is why he didn't want to meet. I sent him pics of me and he said I was lovely! We continued to talk via text and phone. Than in June of 2011 we were chatting and via text I teased him and than blurted out that I loved him even though we never met. He said I love you too even though we haven't met. Than that was the beginning of the end. He was distant and I even called him on it he said he was busy or as he said cranky and having a bad day and didn't want to get me down. That is bs. I thought maybe he didn't think I was pretty. I think I am very pretty! I don't know but I was heart broken. We still spoke but not as intense as it was. It was different. I gave him like ultimatums, saying I'm not spending another year chatting. I wAnted something with him, it's been five years and you can't have both things, your real life and your secret online life. I want to see if we connect on real time. I guess I shouldn't have been so assertive with him because I guess I scared him away. I said in my last text have an excellent life I always wish you well! He didn't text back. Months later I texted him a happy birthday and he spoke to me and I never made contact again until months later for Christmas. He started talking to me. I only contacted him via email at this point because I figured it was less personal. anyway he has been sending me emails everyday and I answer then twice a week. Trying to have some dignity. He is so sweet and he acts like he really does love me? Anyway what do you all think? I have tried not to speak him but always get suckered in. It is extremely hard and really I hear what some of the post are saying just forget about the person and move on. But let me tell you it is easier said than done. Remember it's been 5 years and it's been very deep. I haven't said something's i have said to him to men I have been in real life relationship with. I think online relationships take the guard down that people have when they meet people in social real time situation. Of course caution need to be implemented when speaking to people on line but I think I passed all that with him. I am curious what everyone thinks? I love him! And I analyzed this we do this all The time I leave he contacts me he leave I contact him. It's like we need to talk to each other and it goes back and forth. Thanks for reading this lengthy post. Good luck to everyone!


shemanigans 4 years ago

is it really just about physical attractiveness or is there more to it than that?

i mean are looks the only factor that could make or break this?

people are so godamn shallow its absurd


ElPadre 4 years ago

I met this woman on a senior dating site (we are both over 50) and we emailed eac hother a couple of times and it seemed nice. Then we spoke on the phone for 20 minutes and we really felt a connection. For the next few weeks we emailed each other daily, sometimes a few times a day. We also sent text messages t o each other. We had so much in common that I felt like I had met my soul mate and so did she. We anticipated our 1 st date which was last Saturday. She had told me attraction was not important (we had seen pix of each other), but what was important were the "realities" of life over 50, values lifestyles etc. There was an excitement in both of us as the “date” got closer. We met last Saturday and we sat in a restaurant for close to 5 hours with non stop talking and just smiling and staring at each other. Later that night I walked her home, we kissed and she blew me kisses as I walked away. During the date I had told her that I was there (ready for a permanent relationship) and I let her know that I really liked her.

I thought that I had found someone and kind of felt we just started a relationship. The next day she sent an email saying that my "intensity" is scaring her and putting a lot of pressure re: "expectations" especially so early. We both tried communicating again by email but it wasn't the same. I felt hurt and rejected, and she was going through the motions. Last night she sent me a note letting me know that she can't continue. She said the "openness", communications and attraction was there but it just didn't feel right, the chemistry was "off". My response was I understand and that I would always cherish the wonderful few weeks that we had. Although I only met her once, I felt that what we shared and transmitted via email created a "virtual love" for her. The past week (since the day after email) I went through "heartbreak", not as severe as a real heartbreak but painful nevertheless. I am okay now and I do not regret the experience.


raytealmfao 4 years ago

@Elsa, i understand you! I really do. My boyfriend lives on another continent also but the time difference is only 2 hours. But, i do think that i should move on with my life but i can't. It's as if the only path for me is to go with him. It's a dead end really ^^ . I wish you the best of luck!


Elsa 4 years ago

I am sure I'm in love with this guy I met online. It's been 3 years since we started talking each other. We chat almost everyday and never got so bored about it. We always find a right topic.

I'm still 19 and he is older than me. By the way I live in south east Asia and he is in Europe. Imagine the time difference between two continentals. I have to woke up very early to talk with him or not even sleep. Sometimes I realize that I can't depend on it and have to start looking for a guy in real life. But it didn't work out well. Whenever I start looking for a guy, his face shows up in my mind and that reminds me of him. I feel like we are emotionally connected. If something bad happens to him, I can feel it in my bones then I start crying for no reason. It makes me a person that cannot be understood by my friends. I still don't know what will happen in future between me and him. Hope for a good one. :)


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mandb 4 years ago

Ok, i have previous to this said that you can fall inlove with someone over the internet, with out ever meeting them. Well, we met and my heart was racing, mychest was tight , almost like i coulnot breathe. We met up, a got on really well, yet, when i hugged and kissed him, what i felt before meeting him didnot match up with what i felt when i actually had him in my arms. I'm confused. All i can think is, maybe, all the things he said, all the nice things, the flattery the excitment of awaiting seeing him on line and that someone was showing me so much attention, maybe its so easy to carry away with your emotions. Especially if your feeling lonely, not loved, not particually worth alot at the time. Which i did, if i am honest. I lost my mum, a 10yr relationship and my grandad in the space of 3 months. Damn i was feeling down, and a few nice words and comments at that time, kind of lifted me and i can see why i could of got carrried away, felt special, felt something. Thats my story anyway, aslong as your not in a bad place, your heads in the right place, then maybe you can. But for me, i think that i eeded the attention, the nice comments, i felt loved and wanted. But when it come down to it, thats all it was.


Sweetwitch 4 years ago

I must say that I have never felt anything as string as I feel for my guy right now..I was married for 12 yrs and I had 2 other relationships before that and he is everything I ever dreamed of. Sometimes I question our love and I think this is why we are all here on this site..looking for an explanation as to what we are feeling..Sometimes I think im crazy but after reading all this I know im not crazy and that I should go on with this amazing love story.

Good luck to all.


mandb 4 years ago

As weird as this is to me, i say yes, you can.

I actually met this guy in person, he was with a girl that i know. Basically an introduction of like a minute. He popped up on facebook and we have been talking for the past almost 4 months. We have spoke everyday for hours at a time, and the more we talk, the more i find out about him, the more i am falling for him. He is not normally the type of guy i would go for, to be honest. But through talking to him about pretty much anything and everything, he is so beautiful on the inside, his values and principles just everything, that if i had met him in person, as shallow as this sounds, i maybe may have not give him that chance, as i would of thought that we were not compatable, hes into heavy metal for gods sake and i'm into cheesey haha. But i've gradually and slowly got to know him, and i love everything about him, that i know so far anyway. You should not judge a book by its cover, because if i did, i would of lossed out on meeting one of the most interesting, genuine, loving caring guys that i could of only wished to meet.


Moses 4 years ago

I have a girl,we do chat every day nd we both love each other.she is planning to come here to visit me here but am scared.she said she loves me nd am sexy.i do nt know if she would like me if she see me in person. Inbox me pls wat you think tayorkuyoro@yahoo.com.


Memow 4 years ago

Yes...I think it's possible to fall for someone you never met...but as I've seen said, it can be very difficult to stay in love with them. You never really know what that person is doing behind your back, and especially if you've had issues with that before, trust can be a difficult thing to keep in a relationship like that. I also find that, depending on the people, fighting or arguing is more common when you can't see each other face to face. I'm not sure why but I've seen it happen a lot.


hzk 4 years ago

hello i really like someone and he is my friend on msn messenger i have never met him but i like him so much.... i am totally confused how to make him like me too more than a friend..... can anyone help me please..


hzk 4 years ago

hello i really like someone on msn chat but i am so confused how to make him like me more than a friend...can anyone help me please......


SweetWitch 4 years ago

I also have been talking to someone I met on an Astrology site. We were not looking for anything as far as relationship..This was crazy the way it started. He said he loved me first..and I was actually scared of what I wass feeling because I knew I did too. We could not stop talking to each other..we felt like teenagers again...We have been honest about how we look and have seen pics...Im still so scared to meet..but not because of the physical im just nervous about everything. I do love him so..I have never felt like this before...we have so much in common. He is the man that I have wanted al my life. He is amazing...We are planing on meeting by the end of this month..he lives in NC and I live in Fl.

WE have so many plans and I feel in my heart that it will work out fine. Yes we come from different backgrounds but I dont care and he says he sees no color, so that makes me happy...he is African American and Im Cuban. We are in our 40's so we do what we want...But my family is somewhat racist and i worry about that..I have told him that and he is ok with that.

I will follow this man to the end of the world...thats how much I love him.

Don't get me wrong it hass't been all a bed of roses..he started to run in the begining because he could ot understand his feelings..he said *this is not possible, i can't eat I ca't concentrate at work, how can I feel this for someone I dont know* So we talked about it and decided he would go with the flow...and then it was my turn, I tried leaving him 2x's, I was so scared..i could not understand all the emotions..Now we are just taking it day by day.

I love him so and he is crazy about me.

Thak you for this thread!


guy1 4 years ago

Hello Everyone,

I have read through all the comments here about said question above.

My story is not anything about whats mentioned here at all. I live in a small remote community in the Canadian North. This past fall there was a plane crash that took the life of a very beautiful young woman. I have never met her before in my life. Once the story broke of the incident I saw pictures of the the people involved in the crash and "she" was one of them. I will not say names because it would be very disrespectful. Once I saw her picture I could not believe how beautiful she was, her eyes and her smile were so warming. I looked her up on Facebook and it allowed to see many pictures of her. She was truly beautiful.

Since than I have thought about her often, and I catch myself looking at her picture sometimes. I wonder "what if". I know to this sounds fucking nuts but I just wanted to get this off my chest. I know she's in a better place right now,.

Take care all of you and if you find yourself posting back to my comment, please go easy. I am not a nut job.


Mr. FRANK 4 years ago

2 years ago i had been in a relationship for almost a year,funny thing is that she got my # on a 500 money bill..txtted me and couple of months later we got closer and at last she was my gf, i entered academy and she was always my inspiration despite the pressure on the training both physical and emotional. but 7 months later she broke up with me, i cant do anything because that time i was in the academy having my training. my very 1st inspiration left me with out having the chance to meet each other,and that was the most memorable event in my life,to fall in love with someone with out seeing each other, the worst part? to loose her with out seeing her personally..to all guys out there..falling in love with someone even though you didn't see each other is a unique kind of relationship.BUT don't set your expectations too much high,always save something for yourself and expect the Worse...tnx..(^_^)


raytealmfap 4 years ago

I have been in a relationship with my current bf for 3 months now. My advice to people who might start a long distant relationship, don't set your hopes to high about their looks or personality. I fell in love with my bf before i even saw his picture and i expected MUCH worse because at the end of the day, i didn't care


elle. 4 years ago

I met a guy online. We have known each other for three or four months and btw we havent met yet. But we have been in a relationship for a month now. Truth is i dont know how he looks like for all of four months.. yeah i fell in love with his voice and personality. But today, when i went to check him out in facebook, i realise he wasn't that good looking.. ? And i have this weird feeling now. I really regretted searching for him. Cos what i imagined him was very very far away from what he actually looks like. Damn. Can someone please tell me what i should do? Is it a bad thing? do you think its going to affect this relationship?


Benson Mshana 4 years ago

u know what? am facing this situation right now 4 sure am just falling 2 her everyday.......we close for 3 years now and we both finish our high-school education but the girl is not comfortable with the situation because she think that she might loose this friendship...


Anonymous 4 years ago

I've fallen in love with someone on the internet! We've spoken for 7 months now and talk every day. I'm not in fear of the day we meet, I actually can't wait. I have seen pictures of him and he has seen pictures of me. He only lives about a 5 minutes drive from me. We are just waiting for the right time to meet, when we feel it will work.

Anyway, I'm head over heels in love with someone I met on the internet. That answers your question:)


Edward 4 years ago

Well. I am living with a girl who I have been together with for over a year.we have lived together for a few months now. lately i have lost interest in the relationship. I spend alot of time at the bars and online. I feel l ike i should break it off but i also feel so bad about doing it. she has told me that i am the only "real" relationship she has been in. to make things more complicated there is a girl i have met online. we have everything in common, she is funny, sweet, amazingly beautiful. part of me wants to leave my current relationship and be with the new girl, but i just feel so bad about breaking it off. ooh and the other girl i did meet online and we havent met in person. but idk what to do. but i absolutely think its poeeible to fall for someone you have met online.


EXCLUSIVE 4 years ago

ihave..its been ah whole year..


in love girl 4 years ago

Hi everyone! definetely you can fall in love with someone on internet... I did actually!

I met this guy approximately 4 years ago and since then we never loose contact. Despite of our different cultures we always agreed in almost everything and like almost the same things; but now we are kind of separated. We dont speak as we used to and I really miss him... becouse of our personal activities is why we didnt have the chance to actually meet in person... but i know that one day we will... well, I hope so... love has to be stronger.

So you guys dont loose faith... If it is what God wants for you it will be the best...


adrianne 4 years ago

thank God I found this site, I was questioning my sanity until I read hub page.(hope I wrote that right) Also, when you have people coming at you saying "what, your off your rocker" you never even met the person. It's in your head, and you can't fall in love with someone via facebook, messenger,phone,etc. Well, I know for sure I can, I have a massive heart full of love to share, and if I like what I know of them through this screen, I have the love in my heart to love them. Especially happens when their strongest personality traits that I love about a person comes through, then wow, "I'm in like Flynn" I don't know if everyone has this ability, but I do, and apparently a ton of others have this too. Advice: Don't listen to anyone who tries to tell you otherwise, you know your own heart and mind better than anyone else in this world, besides God. So who are they to say. Thank you for posting hubpages, and easing my mind. Hey I knew I was eccentric, but crazy or insane, I am not


Sadina 4 years ago

Hi, I have same story as well. I meet this guy thru dating site, I was the one message him.I was in that dating site because I want to have new friends. We've been talking for 3months now, we first emailing each other on the dating site long messages actually more like getting to know each other, then he asks for my number so we can txt, and he also add me up on fb. We've been talking almost everyday, he message me before he sleeps then I stayed up late just to talk to him while on he's on work. We video call once, because  I want to be sure about him, I was overwhelm after we video call, I'm speechless. We flirt sometimes and I think that's normal.  I like him a lot he have a lot in common and I'm honest with him. We also shared some of our secrets. Of course there is ups and down, like when I found out that he's dating a girl! I was so hurt because this girl posted on his wall that she loves him. I txted him and congratulate him that he has a girlfriend and asks him why he didn't tell me. He said that they're just dating(hanging out and geting to know and having dinner) and nothing serious about them. I was so hurt and slightly mad at him, though i feel something that he doesnt want to lose me because he explain everything that nothing is serious that theyre just friends.he also said that this girl likes to say things to her friends that she loves them but it really hurts me alot. I told him we should stop talking because he has someone, but he doesn't want to.  I told him that he's hurting me more if he wants to talk to me while having this girl. I even told him that I'm no one, I'm just a friend. He then said that if distance is not a problem I'm probably his girlfriend. He knows what I feel about him,. I asks him if he likes me he said YES. He has negative view on LDR. We remained friends but for me he's more, he knows this. I sent him a package last Xmas with a video and he like it :) 

That was our first fight, he and other girl is still talking, though I trust him now, that if he says they are just friends I believe him because I don't want to lose him. After the fights we have I learned that even our relationship is confusing I have to trust him. Before I can't help but txt or pm him everyday, now I manage to learned how to not talk to him once a while. 1 week is the longest time I didn't talk to him. I'm always the one texting him, but he's the one always sending chat message on fb. I'm confuse with our relationship, I  don't know if this is one sided love. Were 6-7 thousand miles away. He once said that he's best gift will received was me flying in his country :( he plans to go in here in my country within this year it was supposed to be this feb but because of his work he can't. I really want to see him because I believe that once we see each other our feelings things  will be cleared.


dream lover88 4 years ago

mines is pretty long as well ive been talking to this guy i meet on the internet two years ago,he is one year younger then me and he started talking to me first,he was not my type by pics he was light complected and so am i,i am more attracted to dark complected guys.but the way he messaged me was to cute and unique he asked can we be friends no other guy has ever asked me that so i thought whats the harm i found out were he lived in cali and i live in az it was far but it could be worse then i thought there is no way this could possibly turn oout to be anything whats the harm turns out we started talking so much and to make a long story short i fell head over heels in love u can say i felt as if he was my soulmate,and the feeling was mutual but he didnt make a big effort to come see me i am 23 and he is 21 guess he feels as if we still hae our whole lifes.i found myself so fustrated with the whole situation of feeling i love someone that i can not meet i have no money to go see him at this time and i also i have a child i would not take with me nor do i want to leave her here.i told him im a girl and hes aguy and he should come to me,he doesnt seem to agree and to him it doesnt matter although he tells me he loves me and that were gonna be together one day,i stopped taking to him and decided to move on with my life although i miss him like crazy and still am in very much ove with him i can not take the pain of the whole situation i know he is something special and were both very much still young i thought i would share my story i am the only one in my family to have experienced this kind of situation they think its not poosible to fall in love with someone u never meet and i think is possible because it happened to me i love all the stories on here i dont feel alone anymore and its nice to see that there is alot of people in similar situations so i thought i would share my story


hermes1986 4 years ago

i write here again cos really its the only place i can ind ppl they have the same kind of relationship i want to say that me n my baby still in love n everyday more sometimes we make some littel problems but its ok that give us a new chance to love eachother more :$ this thing its like a dream n til now i can't understand how come i fall in love with someone i never met !!!! :) this man now talk with my mom my sisters all my family n they really loves him :) that make me happy bt the thing is someimes it comes in my mind if he leave me one day what should do? even he all the time promise me that he ll never leave me bt still i have those feelings :/ Shil maybe its funny bt im in this age but i never had a relationship :$ i was that kind of girls who study n do sports n i was rhinking that no one deserve me :$ but now this man chnge all my life he make me feel that im a girl i can love ........ but now the only problem is i al the time thinking how if he leave one day!! i have this thinking allllllllllllll the time n thats kill me :( he never show that he maybe go one day but the thing is distance and time too coz now we can't meet eachother and that can take another year :( so im soooo worry to loose hime cos of time :'( ppl here i wish you all the best and i can feel everyone here :) May God give us all the chaance to be with the one we love :) and for you Shil i thank you so much cos you help ppl and try to make everyone happy :) God bless you and i wish you all the best to you too :) thanx everyone :)


violetdreams 4 years ago

Thanks for everything Shil. You have helped me a lot. I think you are right on about being married with kids. He has a web page showing his kids and when I asked about them his line was, "well just because they look like me doesn't mean they are mine right?" when I asked if he had a wife or girlfriend most recently his answer wasn't no, it was "no worries". Hardest thing now is to not send one of the emails I have written to him telling him off but as you said it wouldn't do any good. I can definitely relate with you on the venting thing. I thank you again for all your advice and this is a great page. I can't wait to be free of this man I passed up on several great dates/relationships because of him and I need to focus on what is right here in front of me. God bless you Shil.


Lysander 4 years ago

Hello there. Really interesting page might I add. I read this simply because I think I really like a girl I met online.

I mean, I'm trying to get it out of my head for obvious reasons - she might not even be who she says she is, she could be a completely different person, etc., but mostly because I find shame in it. I don't understand why I'm really liking this person.

I'm thinking I should just continue the way it is, or really slowly get to know her even more. Or, simply keep it at a minimum. I'm herping derps right now, but hopefully I'll come to a proper solutuon.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

Violet, I wouldn't be surprised if this man is a much married man with kids. You see many married men get into this kind of fantasy situations online - for the fun of it, perhaps, I wouldn't know why!! They start off with small talk, create a persona for themselves, perhaps get a bit creative by adding some untruths as to who they really are and the only reason they do not wish to share their personal information is because of the fear of being discovered for their true selves and the resultant consequences that will have in their real lives. I don't see any other reason why a single man would do this to you!!

What is he scared of in sharing his number or address with you after 4 long years of knowing you? Think about that!! As I've stated before Violet, it is really pointless trying to find out the reasons. He is unlikely to be forthcoming anyways, and even if he is, would he really tell you the truth, and would you be able to believe what he says!!

Regarding me, the situation with me happened a long time ago and I am completely over it and very happy with my life right now. I hope you can get over this as well. Best of luck!!


3500milesaway 4 years ago

So about a year ago i met someone on the internet...after a year of talking...we fell in love.

We're 3500 miles away from each other and have never met, but love is blind.

I love you sbdarkangel, i hope you read this :$

Muahhh :*


violetdreams 4 years ago

Thank you Shil, for everything, including sharing your own situation. It helps to know that I am not the only one that has been lied to and manipulated. While I don't want to believe he did it just for amusement I can't understand why else a person would tell someone for years that they want to be with you, have children with you and live their lives with you and never offer a phone number, address or set up a time to see you. You are soooo right, I deserve better, I just needed to hear it. I'm through trying to understand now and am through with this "fantasy" relationship. Its just so hard to say goodbye...if you could only read all the heartfelt messages, compliments and sweet things this guy has said over the years. You know, he is an entertainer for a living (supposedly if it is the same person he is claiming to be) so I guess it is his job to seduce women and make them come back for more. Thanks again for your advice and I hope you are happy and over your situation as well.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

You are most welcome, Sandra - glad to help! You are doing good, just be positive and be patient. Everything will work out just fine :)


sandra 4 years ago

thank you Shil. We are aware of difficulties in future life. I am studing in my city (second year now, one more left). I want to be prepared for everything. He is learning english now. I am encouraging him to learn and look for job. and he is trying. again, thanks for every word!


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

Hi Sandra, you remind me of how I felt the first time I was in love. I faced many troubles myself. It wasn't easy. Things seemed impossible quite often, but what matters is, in the end, it all worked out! So, don't lose hope! If both of your loves are true, it will find a way eventually.

However, you do need to be aware of the many difficulties you both have ahead of you. It is just not a matter of him moving to Poland or some other country. There is also the question of religion. It is of course easy to say that such things don't matter, but they do make things very difficult in some cases. I just hope you both can find ways around it.

To start off, I'd suggest that you encourage him to take the steps that would help him in getting a good job either in Poland or a country abroad. At the same time, you should also do the necessary things so you can get a good education/job so you can also move abroad - if needed - to be with him.

You'd of course have to be patient as it is unlikely all of this would happen very quickly. Don't worry about your mom - her concern is understandable. Don't hold anything against her for her reaction. Be a good friend to her and have a normal relationship with her. She'd eventually understand if your love is indeed true and you both take the necessary steps to make this love a success.

There's always hope - just work towards making your love a success. Encourage him to get the education/job necessary to make a life for the both of you either in Poland or someplace abroad. You should, as well, try to study more or get better professionally towards achieving the same goal.

You can both then have a life together, but as I've said earlier, it would take a lot of work and patience to achieve this and also both of you should feel the same way about each other all the way through!! Best of luck!!!


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

Hi 'violetdreams,' - I can understand the urge you have - the urge to have a kind of closure to all of this; after all, you've invested 4 years with this man!! Years before, I was in a similar predicament. I cannot go into details, but the essence of it was that I had no closure. I wanted to have that one last talk or communication to vent, as it were, to get things off my chest in a way, but I decided then that it wasn't worth it. Looking back, I am glad I moved on. It was difficult though! You know, in your case, this man has played you so much - it is unbelievable. I guess this guy just looks at this as some sort of a game! Why should you entertain him?

Personally, I would think trying to communicate with him again, either to tell him off or to wish him well, will just empower him more - would feed that side of him that makes him behave this way. He probably derives some sort of power or a sense of importance from hearing from women like you ( yes, I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't the only one!! ). Perhaps, such a communication from your side would just end up with you getting sucked in more into communicating with this person. Is it worth it? I wouldn't think so!!

To draw upon my own experience, it was difficult initially to get over it, without knowing the why's and the reasons, but trust me - you would outgrow this difficult feeling, this anger, this disappointment that you feel now! Don't try to understand his actions, just let go!!

You'd do just well, Violet! You deserve so much better! And you'd find that special someone - this person definitely isn't worth a second more of your life!!


sandra 4 years ago

Hi Shil, here's my story. in June 2011, I discovered this stupid website chatroulette. I didn't have camera - because it was broken, but I decided to try this website. First, I did it with my friend. He and I chatted with random people. Then, he left my house and I continued by my own. I was 20 at that time. I met a guy, whose smile was just amazing. his english wasn't so good, so we had fun trying to understand each other. he showed me his facebook profile, i showed him mine and we started talking with skype. my camera was still broken, but he saw my facebook pictures, so he knew how I look like. we talked for 4 or 5 hours that night. and then, every evening we talked with skype. i finally used camera and we talked, and talked... i taught him english and we just talked. after short time, he told me he loves me. i was so suprised. i knew i like him very much and eveytime i talk to him, it's like best time of the day. two weeks later, at night he passed out. i didn't know, he wrote to me next morning. i was so worried and at that very moment I knew I love him. I am Christian, he is Muslim. I love in Poland, he lives in Turkey. I told my mom after 3 months about him, but he told me to end this. I said ok. but I lied, and I continued to lie. and on 27.11.2011, she saw that I am talking with him. and it was horrible. my parents were so angry at me, so i decided to end this. i told him that this is over (because of religions, i can marry him, but out life would be very difficult). one month later, after crying every night and reading his facebook (he wrote only about me.) I started to talk to him. and my parents don't know this. I can't imagine my life without him. i can't come to Turkey, not possible. He can't come to Poland now. Turkish man must serve as soldiers. If they don't, they can't leave country. but there is hope, if he learns english very well, he could look for job abroad and maybe he will leave his country without being soldier before. I love him very much. I miss him so much, I am thinking about him all the time. I know he feels the same about me. can you tell me, if there is any hope for us? what should I do? i have never lied to my mother before. this man is so important for me, and it hurts me that i can't share my happiness/sadness with my mom. sorry for my english, but even now i have wet eyes and i want to cry.


violetdreams 4 years ago

Hi Shil; I just gotta ask you since you have helped me in the past. The man that I have been corresponding with for 4 years sent me a message in November asking how I was. Up until most recently he had said he wanted to come and visit me in December and spend time with me, even move here to my town!! Well, since late November I have heard absolutely nothing from him, not an email, nothing. Previously you had told me to cease talking with him, but I have this urge to either tell him off or wish him well. I can't explain how much being played can make a person feel like seeking the truth but it had devastated me and I don't know what to do. I know that just forgetting about him and never speaking to him again seems like an easy alternative, but being in the situation, it is different. I know closure is a word used often, but it is more than that. So what do I do Shil? Do I send him an email telling him how unbelieveable selfish he is (he probably wont' care?) should I send him a wish you well email which he will probably ignore or should I just completely delete him from my life. It is so hard to try to understand his actions over the last 4 years, part of me wants revenge even though that is wrong. Help!!


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

@ needhelp - Well dear, I guess that would be the typical reaction of parents to online dating - one of fear, apprehension and dismissiveness. You cannot blame them for feeling that way, for many associate meeting someone online with having negative consequences. The risks are there and there have been countless cases where women have discovered that the person they've been chatting with has not been who they thought they were. So, I can understand their concerns.

Personally, I think you can either tell them when he can make the trip to see you. Till then, you can continue to maintain your friendship with him online. Before you meet him though, you should tell your parents and take them into confidence. If it is until you are 18, then so be it.

I don't think there is a need to rush into a meeting at this stage. If he really loves you, he'd wait!! Just my personal opinion on the matter! Of course, I suggest this taking into account your specific instance, circumstance and age!!!

@ darrin - her reaction could be either because she is not sure what to make of this relationship yet, or because she isn't serious about it all. It is difficult to say! If you find this girl to be a good friend and want to be friends with her, then continue to be friends for now and expect nothing more at this stage.

Who knows, she may eventually feel for you what you feel for her and perhaps open up more to you and trust you more going forward. However, if you feel that you've invested enough time to this already and feel that she isn't serious about taking this any further, and that is what you want - then perhaps you should just stop investing as much time with her!!


darrin 4 years ago

HI I HAVE A ? I AM TALKING TO A GIRL AND HAVE BEEN FOR 2 YEARS SHE SEEN ME ON CAM BUT EVERY TIME I ASK TO SEE HER SHE TELLS ME WHEN I FEEL ITS RIGHT BUT 2 TIMES SHE SENT ME PICS THAT WERE CHEERLEADERS AND I ONLY FOUND OUT BY HER TELLING ME SHE LIKED THE ROCKETS SO I LOOKED UP THE ROCKETS AND TO MY SUPRIZE THERE SHE WAS I DONT KNOW IF I,M WASTING MY TIME I I WANT A TO FIND THE RIGHT ONE SHE SEEMS LIKE SOMEONE I COULD BE WITH BUT I HAVE 11 BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND THEY TELL ME WAKE UP BUT I,M THE ONE ON THE PHONE ALL NIGHT WITH HER


needhelp 4 years ago

Sigh* hi shil I’m back

I haven’t told my parents but I did ask them what they thought about online dating cuz my friend is doing that (she is 20) I wanted to know what to expect when I told them

They were very very against it.. They think that everyone that you meet online is a 50 year old creep...

Should I go ahead and tell them or should I just tell the guy that we would have to wait to meet until I’m 18? Which he has told me he would be willing to do.. =/

I feel bad but I really don’t want them to completely blow up at me which I’m sure they will and i dont think i could convince them other wise….

And I understand their point of view but I’ve known this guy for 3 years, I’ve talk to his friends (not over the internet ones but people he knows in real life) and he is even the one who thinks we should try using Skype so we can see each other (which I can’t cuz it’s another thing my parents are against).

I mean before I met him I was convinced that I wouldn’t start dating until after collage and I didn’t think that you could ever find someone through the internet but now I am all.. twisted up inside cuz I don’t know what to do. =/


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

You are welcome, 'needhelp.' Best of luck dear! I'd wait to hear from you on how things turn out for you!! Hopefully, everything will work out just fine for you and you find true love :)


needhelp 4 years ago

thank you shil.

i will have to take your advice since i realy do feel bad about not telling them and ive never done somthing behind their back and i think if i dont tell them soon it will eat me alive (from the inside.)

and he dosnt live near me so he would have to travel (that is why we are waiting until he is 18) but he says he is willing to. So Thank you again and WISH ME LUCK! maybe if i do end up meeting him i will come back and tell you how it all went. =)


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

@ Jewels, thank you so much for sharing your experience. You do deserve to be happy and in love. I hope you have a blissful married life ahead!!

Thanks to the countless others who've taken the time to share their experiences. I hope all of you find the love you so deserve!!


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

Hi, "needhelp," being a parent myself, I'd say that you should tell your parents, if you are serious about him and want to go ahead and meet him, as it seems you are!

Yes, there is a chance they may disapprove of this kind of online relationship, but perhaps you can convince them and make them see your point of view. Perhaps, your first meeting with him could be over at your place and you could introduce him to your parents!!

If that's possible, that should ease any concerns they may have. This is of course assuming that he lives relatively close by and can travel and meet you up at your place. I wish you the best of luck and hope that things work out for you, dear!!


jewels 4 years ago

Is it possible to fall in love without meeting? Oh yes! Yes indeed. 1970 a pen pal project called my guy in Vietnam. I was a freshman in college and we were soon writing two or three letters every day. He was to get out September 6th and had asked me to marry him. When that day came and he never showed up, I was then later told of a helicopter crash that left him paralyzed from the waist down. I met him for the first time in a veterans hospital. The second time, he put the ring on my hand. And the third time we were married. He was still in the hospital and it was five more months before we were together. We were great together for five wonderful years. I wouldn't trade those years for anything.

And again in 2002 by way of a date site I wrote a profile with very specific requirements. There was only one response - a doctor and I was a nurse. He didn't like to do chat on line and so he called. At first it was like a job interview. We talked for 6 hours. And he asked me to marry him. He lived 6 hours away but just 10 miles from my son so I drove there. We met with my sons there too at a diner and then took a drive. And he left the door open with his foot out at a park and the battery went dead so we had to call my son. So many times in 8 years we made plans to see each other and marry but it just never happened. Katrina took his daughter. His son drowned and his poppa died and a car wreck. He has chased around the world helping with world disasters. He speaks many languages and is a psych dr. He told me last year to put my profile up and find love - that I deserve to be happy. and now ... in 2 weeks I will meet Ryan - we have chatted since July 4th and plan to be married on that day this year. So yes I believe.


needhelp 4 years ago

Hi Shil I have been reading all the stories here but I need some help with my own

I just don’t know what to do I have known this guy since I was 13 (i am 16 now and he is 17)

We met by playing an Xbox game and we both had mics we started talking and then became friends

a year later I had to go to my grandmas and before I left I said something to him about not having anyone to talk to over at my grandmas (my friends couldn’t talk cuz they were on vacation in NZ) he said here let me give you my number so if you get lonely you can text me. I did and when we started talking I realized that I liked him even more than I thought I did.

We have talk almost every single day since and the 2nd year I had known him we had been talking he said to me that he really liked me and I told him how I felt too then we decided that maybe we could meet up when in a year or 2

we have been texting for 2 years we eventually exchanged pictures and we are thinking about meeting up in dec sometime

the problem I have is I haven’t told my parents I just didn’t know how to and now I’m afraid that they will make it so I won’t be able to talk to him (they usually are over protective) I feel very guilty in not telling them and I have never kept anything from them but I couldn’t imagine not being able to talk to him at all… he always brightens my day when I am feeling down about something and I just don’t know what I should do you have any suggestions? And sorry if I go on about stuff I this is my first time writing like this


madhvi 4 years ago

well yes i have loved someone online and still i do and i miss him a lot !

we met through a friend and then we started having those typical Facebook friends chat and one day he uploaded his pics and though he was not that cute and my friends said he looks normal compared to my standards i did the same i uploaded mine and he asked me and i said yes

yes from my side was just for time pass but due to time we got closer and now we love each other i have also seen him once on webcam

and now we have planned to meet this valentine hope he likes me :)


coco 4 years ago

I have fallen in love with a girl online. We have been talking for 6+ years and are on opposite sides of the planet. We were exclusive before but were too young and just the timing didnt work out. Now in the past few months we are madly in love and are at the stage in our lives where we are taking the chance to commit and meet. She kniws me better than anyone ive ever me and i do believe she is the love of my life. We are honest and trust each other more than our "real" friends and even family.

I have never been so deeply emotionally attached to anyone as much as her. The online relationship just flat out works better in my opinion. Theres no pressure on physical restraints and we are forced to connect deeply.

We talk every day and have insanely good communication. Everyone can read this and trust me in saying that when you find this person online, go for it. Life is only so short and without risks will never find the one.

Wish us both luck, even though we wont need it :-) ;-)


Love Others, Value Everyone 4 years ago

I met this girl on Facebook. Even though I had never met her before in my life, I had the strangest filling just looking at her photos. I would be mesmerized by her beauty but then I caught myself thinking about her future with me. I said to myself I've never had feelings like this for another girl in my life. So i knew she was special.

I introduced myself, it started slow but

now we have

Been talking for quite a while, we send pictures to one another so physical appearance is not a problem. She says that i make her smile more than any other guy and she can trust me.:)

Now the next big step is finding a way for me to get to her. 2000 miles away? All this over the Internet, so yes I believe if your willing to give love a chance, love will be willing to give you a chance.


Charley 4 years ago

When I was young I used to go on a website, and had a best friend. We used to think of each other so closely that we began calling each other 'bro' and 'sis'. Years after we still chatted and we got each others Facebook, then Skype. After chatting with him every day I found, even on webcam, I was comfortable and found I could share so much I had kept in from other people I needed to let out - he the same, as he has anger issues. He, being a year younger, wasn't at all different, and I must admit he's not that good looking, but I seem to have fallen in love with him years onwards, even though he lives 4 hours away. I really wish I could meet him, although I don't know if he really likes me the same way back. We still constantly talk to each other


tkvalheim 4 years ago

I'm currently dating someone i met online. only my closest friends and his closest friends knows about this mainly because not many people understand how this can be, and many are judgemental towards this kind of relationship.

I've never met him in my life, and he lives extremely far away - and as stupid as it sounds I'm actually in love.

I'm planning on moving to the country he lives in for a year of school, and eventhough we've only dated for about 3 months I believe we have something special.

so yes, I definitely believe that you can fall in love with someone you've never met.

we skype every day and we talk for hours, sometimes we even fall asleep while talking, since both have been up for hours and hours. and I always fall asleep with a smile on my face.

If you really love someone, they're definitely worth waiting for. distance means so little when someone means so much :)


HOPEFULL 4 years ago

I met a guy online about 2 and a half weeks ago,,,I have never had such a connection so quickly to someone online...but he was funny and I liked what he had to say we talked every day sometimes for 3 hours or more...and on skype....unfortunately things have dwindled a bit the last few days,......I hope it continues because what a nice way to meet someone.....


raytealmfao 4 years ago

Well this is my story:

I met my boyfriend when i was 13 turning 14 doing something we both had in common; online gaming. Yes, it sounds pretty sad, but we were mature and i did not jump straight into a relationship with him. I first befriended his twin brother then got to know them both. He asked me for my Hotmail so i gave it to him and we started talking. We found out that we had a lot in common and he told me that he really liked me. From then on we really became close and shared our problems with each other.

Then he told me he loved me. I returned his feelings and i was happy. However, at this point i had not even seen a picture of him. To be honest, i didn't care any more. I didn't care how he looked, if he was fat, short, ugly whatever....His personality was just so beautiful! So is his face! I showed him a picture of myself and he said i was cute *-*. So, we officially started dating and he lives in Brazil whereas i live in London. He hopes to come here in 1 or 2 years to study. Until then, we just have to keep this relationship going! I talk to him everyday and i try to be the best girlfriend i can. The only problem is, he is 15 turning 16 and he will have "sexual needs". I know he is a loyal boyfriend but what about when he wants a girl to be with him? I can't be there for him. So in conclusion, you can fall in love with someone you have never met. But it takes time. However, you can quickly fall out of love with someone you have never met. Thats a big problem. :D


priceless :) 4 years ago

at first i used to think its absurd to fall in love with someone you havent meet... but yes it is possible.... i met this guy 8 years back on a social website through a group....we both live at two different ends of world...... we have been talking on and off with eachother from then onwards..... seen alot of changes in our lives.... been there to support eachother... both knw about eachothers past relationship .... i know he cares about me alot and i like him alot .... the feelings developed gradually.... but we have never taken it to the next level.... eight years is a longtime...we are still constantly in touch with eachother ...... i dont knw whether we are meant for eachother ... but yes he is one person i would like to meet someday.... and about love i dont really knw.... if it is love or not... will only knw when we meet eachother .....


emily92love 4 years ago

I met this guy a little while ago on a penpal site. Every day we email, chat, talk on skype. We're like a couple we have our little disagreements but always work them out, he always compliments me, cares about whats happening with me. I think I'm falling in love with him and I think he's falling faster, he already mentioned the L word. He wants me to move to where he is (He is in America,I'm in Australia). He said he would pay for the flights everything and has says he wants to take care of me. I'm 19 turning 20 soon, he's 23 turning 24 soon. My only thing is justifying to my family and friends going over to another country to meet a guy for a chance at love. We are both christians and have been praying for partners and then we meet so its really hard/confusing to know what to do. I would miss my family and friends so much but is it worth it for love. I also have no money behind myself but he always says he would look after me and I wouldn't even have to work, but I've said to him I would feel lazy and bad for taking his money, but money doesnt matter to him as he has a really good job. Should I follow my heart..


Inlovewitdavid ;) 4 years ago

Hi everyone ... Let me start out by saying I feel soo happy && in love .. Ok it all started when my little sister told me about this guy && told I should give it a shot .. I really was like I don't think it's a good idea and plus I dont even know this guy and he lives in Florida and I live in NY . But I was like I'll give it a try so we spoke and spoke and I can honestly say I'm falling in love with this guy !! He's such incredible human being .. ;) I'm meeting him next month and I'm super excited && can't wait !!!!!!!!!


hermes1986 4 years ago

i dont know how to start ok im that kind of girls i hdnt relationship with boys before bt one day i knew a man with net he is far form me not from the same country bt i dnt know by time things grow up between us n we become everyday more n more close to eachother we show picturs and then we start talk on the phone and then we start with skype n we talk n show our faces its ok now for us we even dnot think abt the way we look just we enjoy to see eachother i love him realy coz he is that man i always dreamed about now we r for one year together our love grow up everyday i dont know whene we will meet :( coz we have money problem lol but its ok we have strenght to keep this love till we will meet im sure one day i will meet him the love in my heart is so big n for him too the way he show love he sent me even littel thng that make me happy more than u can imagin ... im 25 years im not that littel girl and i know he is the love of my life and i wish you all pray for us to meet eachother one and make our dream to come true :) thank you


violetdreams 4 years ago

Actions speak louder than words, this is so true. Someone can say they love you, adore you, think that you're beautiful want to have a family with you etc., but if they never make the effort to see you, give you their phone number, address, real name, real career etc. what do you have there? I too thought I was in love but was I in love with this man? Or was I in love with what he was telling me? Love needs to be shown, by how you treat someone. I also clicked with this man online and truly believe he was my soul mate. Just be aware and listen to your gut. Enjoy your life and meet new people and if the person on the other end of the line truly wants to be with you, they will find a way. My best to you all here.


lover123 4 years ago

soo im currently falling for a guy online..he's two yrs older than me..he's really sweet,caring,amazing, etc..basically hes everything i look for in a guy.We've been talking for the last 2 months..its this website but im scared to say it..but i'll just say it..AHEM.."stardoll",,i really love him nd he luvs me..were just really into each other..he lives in IL and whereas I live in CA..it sucks being so far away from each other..but i do have hopes that one day we'll meet in person, face-to-face.We've been talking just on chat. im not sure if to start txting,talking on the phone?? i wanna see were this ends up..i really love him. I see that people have met in real life and see that it isnt such a bad thing having a relationship online. any advice? p.s.i know this sounds pretty stupid but i just feel that i've known him my whole life..and i really hope we meet each other.


Riaani 4 years ago

Interesting to say the least, Shil. This practice is so commonplace it seems that it hits a chord with most people. I just wish everyone good luck and 'be safe'. This could turn into a book of experiences. :)


Celine 4 years ago

In my experienced, I had a strange feelings, some excitement everytime my friend was telling something about his boss. It was a weird thing for me that time because I didn't fall in love nor admire a man. Then, the time I met him in person, a mix emotion I felt. I couldn't speak, I couldn't look him. The following day I got sick. That feelings got deeper and deeper and long for more than 4 years. Until now, my feelings for him is here in my heart but I am trying to forget everything that reminds him because it is wrong. He has a family now. I wish him all the happiness with his family. It's sad but I have to accept the truth.


Myra 4 years ago

I don't know how to stop.

Were are always chatting online and I'm always call here.

But I think that his not love me only money he wanted..

Thanks for your advice


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

Myra, it is quite obvious that this person is only looking for money primarily. It is pretty common to have people from this part of the world get in touch with you online and ask for money. I've had it happen to me a couple of times. You may feel bad to refuse him, but refuse you must. A relationship can't be build by you having to sustain him with money right from the start. He could just be emotionally softening you up to get help monetarily! I hope you can see that and stop communicating with him.


myra enero 4 years ago

i meet guy online too his in philippines now,

and his always saying he love me

after a week his asking money with me

heehhe what is the meaining of this


Imsuramok57 4 years ago

EVERYONE'S STORIES ARE SO AMAZING BUT mine is a little different..my story has just started few days back...there is this girl i met online and I've totally fallen in love with her. So i feel that there is a possibility to fall in love with someone online. The problem is if that person feels the same about you.Right now I'm in that situation. I wish that person gives me a clue.....That's all for now.. I'll keep on posting my experiences.


violetdreams 4 years ago

I totally agree with all of you that said you will never really truly know if you click until you meet. In my situation he was everything I ever wanted in a man, supportive, kind, complimentary, charming and drop dead gorgeous (according to pictures he sent me)... in 4 years there was never an attempt to meet although many discussions about it and even plans, which never transpired. Sometimes I wonder if all the good things I found in this man were just my imagination/fantasy running wild. I passed up on several "real" dates and relationships as I waited for him to come to me and start a family as he had been promising me for years. I've read before that if you don't meet your online "flame" after 6 months you shouldn't get any more emotionally involved as it could end in heartache. I wish I would have listened to that advice. I still feel played and stupid and like such a fool that I let a man toy with me for that long and didn't see it. As I have said before, I hope your stories have happy endings and you don't have to experience what I did. I also hope that someone reading this who is currently in the same situation that I was, will stop and think before they get too emotionally involved and invest all their time, love and feelings into someone that can go from saying they want to spend their lives with you to completely ceasing contact with you and not anwering any emails or messages you try to send. Good luck to you all.


l4dyh4wk 4 years ago

Interesting that you are still getting comments so long after you first posted this..

Yes I believe it is possible to make friends, like and even love someone without ever meeting them, but I also believe that you never know if it will truely 'click' IRL until it happens. I'm sure some people are quite happy continuing relationships online and keeping it online forever, but for me I do like to make it 'real'

I have been with a guy for nearly 2 years.. we are half a world apart and purely financial issues are keeping us apart.. I was married when i met him via an MMPORTS game, my marriage was in the death throws and my husband and i separated maybe 1 month after I met this guy. He has been an awesome friend thru all my troubles, always been there for me and we worked together within the game for 18 months running very successful alliances.. So I know we work well together, that we can compromise, that we can read each others minds and make decisions in proxy lol.. the love thing crept up on us gradually, and now it feels like i have always known in my soul that he was around.. that i have always been waiting for my man shaped puzzle piece to complete the picture.

We may finally get to meet later this year, and while i am so excited and full of hope, in the back of my mind i KNOW that it isn't real till its real life.. there may be weird chemistry.. or weirder body odour.. or something else that just totally precludes any real life relationship, but you never know.. i have many awesome friends that i knew first online and met IRL later on, and they are some of the best friends i have, so i hold out hope that my judgement of people continues to be pretty good and that come this winter I will get to spend time with my ONE!


Emily 4 years ago

I met this guy a little while ago on a penpal site. Every day we email, chat, talk on skype. We're like a couple we have our little disagreements but always work them out, he always compliments me, cares about whats happening with me. I think I'm falling in love with him and I think he's falling faster, he already mentioned the L word. He wants me to move to where he is (He is in America,I'm in Australia). He said he would pay for the flights everything and has says he wants to take care of me. I'm 19 turning 20 soon, he's 23 turning 24 soon. My only thing is justifying to my family and friends going over to another country to meet a guy for a chance at love. We are both christians and have been praying for partners and then we meet so its really hard/confusing to know what to do. I would miss my family and friends so much but is it worth it for love. I also have no money behind myself but he always says he would look after me and I wouldn't even have to work, but I've said to him I would feel lazy and bad for taking his money, but money doesnt matter to him as he has a really good job. Should I follow my heart..


Toolee 4 years ago

im currently daiting someone over the internet and everyone keeps bugging me about it because i haven't really met him face-to-face soo everyone says "oh well he's obviously some 80 year old man with no life and who sits in their basement" well sometimes you get that feeling that that's just completely not true and u just know that wouldn't happen well that's how i feel so yah i think its totally possible that you could fall in love with someone over the internet but you just have tofollow you're heart


Bubbles 4 years ago

@sophie27 i am 17, turning 18 this May so i plan to visit him after that :) yes thats probably the best thing to do they never really gave him a chance and judged him for the mistakes hes made and it wasnt right, i know my parents have a say in this but i think they need to get to know him before they suggest anything :) thank you so much for your advice, it was greatly appreciated!!


sophie27 4 years ago

To Bubbles,

I totally understand your situation. How old are you? If you are over 18, your parents cannot stop you from talking to anyone. I know they are only being cautious and watching out for you, but sometimes in their cautiousness they forget that their kids have grown up and can sometimes decide what is good and bad. I would recommend you don't tell them anything at the moment. Meet him in person at a public place a few times, and once you know he is genuine and not shady, then you can start meeting him privately and can have him come home sometime along with your trusted friends so that your parents get to know him better. That way it may remove the misconceptions in their head, and your love life will get easier. However much you love him, act like it is not the most important thing in your life when you are with them. Parents start getting worried when they feel their children are getting too infatuated or obsessed. I had a similar situation toon when I was in my teens and that is how I dealt with it, and it all worked out. :). It's all good dear..it will be fine. Just play safe and stay under the radar untill you meet him and get to know him better. Please meet him publicly a few times before you meet him in private though.


violetdreams 4 years ago

I enjoy reading these stories and I truly hope for your success and happiness in your relationships. But I also know how hard it is to carry on with someone online only. The man I cut contact with contacted me out of the blue again and was suggesting he come for a visit and actually move in with me! At first I was in shock considering he had done this to me before, saying he wanted to meet, start a family etc and never followed through. Well just as I was anticipating the holidays he quit contacting me completely. Even though I see him online every day he hasn't contacted me. How cruel is that? I am glad I have decided to quit contacting him as he is nothing but an internet player with several women he has on stand-by to boost his ego and inflate his already huge head. He is an entertainer too, so it seems to me like he needs some help. The lies are unbelievable. I hope all of your experiences turn out better than mine. I'm not trying to be negative Im just telling you all the truth so you can see that there is more than fairy tales and dreams come true on the internet, there is a dark side too, with people who you honestly believe with all your heart that they love you and they are legitimate and they turn out to be nothing more than a user and have strung you along. God bless you all and I pray you don't end up with the heartache I have had.


Bubbles 4 years ago

wow everyone has such good stories and i relate to them so well!! my story is pretty complicated lol

i met an AMAZING guy 2 years ago online and everything just clicked! we were best friends for about half a year and he asked me out and i got SO excited!!! we love each other so deeply and share everything with each other! my parents found out and were okay with it until this summer they hacked into my facebook account and read everythin i had sent to him... i was away for the weekend an they banned me from the internet and i couldnt contact him.. it hurt so badly... i got depressed and even suicidal.. im kind of sneaky and i found a way to get back with him.. my parents dont know this and its really hard.. but i know that he is the one! we have the same beliefs and even he same thoughts for the future we both plan on bein professional musicians! :D i plan on meeting him this summer when i graduate.. but im so scared to tell my parents about him again... i cant deal with them separating me from him again and i just dont know what to do! im so confused...


sophie27 4 years ago

Of course you can fall in love with someone you have nevet met. I met the most amazing guy I've ever known in my life on the the internet. We met 10 months ago. He is in the UK and I am in the US, and he is moving here to be with me in 3 months. We are going to be living together and I truly want to be with him forever. He meets every standard I have ever had for a guy..he is very attractive, very loving, very funny, has a great dressing sense, is very passionate and tender, and most importantly my best friend. There is nothing that I couldnt talk to him about. He always makes me laugh. We have had our fair share of ups and downs. Being distant from each other and not being able to hug each other when we want to can make small arguments intense sometimes, but we have both been mature enough to work over those times and stay close to each other. Every fight has only made our love stronger. I have met several guys in my life, and have had one long relationship, but I had no clue that the man who would totally steal my heart stays miles away from me. I am so excited that he is moving here to Boston to stay with me. We have so many plans. The happiest day of my life was when he surprised me on Skype with a copy of his ticket. He is always honest with me and shares everything with me. The fact that we love each other so much that he thought of leaving everything he has always known in his life, and come half the world away to be in my arms, makes me feel part of a beautiful fairytale. I could have never had it any other way. I think it takes two very strong willed people who have both drive and initiative to make such a relationship work. I remember he called me within a few days after we met online and we started talking like we have known each other all our lives. It was amazing. There hasnt been a single day in the past 10 months when we havent spoken for several hours to each other. We compromised on our night outs, social lives, everything to spend time with each other, and that loyalty and commitment makes me fall in love with him all the more. I am 27 and he is 30, so we have come together at a time in our lives where we are both mature, smart, and independent enough to live lives the way we choose, and we choose to live that with each other. He is my dream come true..I want to be with him forever and ever and ever.


Bela 4 years ago

I met a guy online 3 years ago, and I have grown to love him too, so I think it is possible that one can fall in love online. And this coming from me is really something as I initially believed such love to be non-existant. I have not told this guy that I love him, or even that I like him for fear of ruining our relationship should he not feel the same about me. He did post a painting he did to me for Christmas and I intend to paint him something in return (we are artists) so I feel that he does have some genuine feelings for me. It may be a long time before I meet him, however, as I live in South Africa and he lives in England. This is partly why I have not told him of my feelings for him. I saw this question and it's comments and they comforted me. So I have have not only commented here to add my thoughts, but also to ask advice from people who have been in my situation. Should I tell him how I feel or not?


Anonymous 4 years ago

Wow, I have never seen such a great group of stories about online relationships. Thanks for sharing everyone! I do believe its possible to fall in love with someone you've never met, but I think its safe to not act strongly on such feelings until you meet the person. I met someone online 7 months ago and keep in touch with him via chat or video every day. We have agreed to go about the situation differently even though we have strong feelings for one another. We live across the country so we are doing our best to find love locally before making any big moves to meet. We feel that that is the most practical approach. Although, it is incredibly difficult for both of us to have these feelings for each other but not act on them. I do sincerely hope that someday I will have the chance to meet him and discover whether or not we could work out. We have a connection I can not explain. We both have religious beliefs that God has a plan for both of us and that if its meant to be, things will fall into place someday.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

Thanks for stopping by and sharing your story, Lucy. So incredibly sad that you never got to meet him. Life is so unpredictable, isn't it!! You never quite know how long you have in this world.

On the positive side, you did get to know him and share thoughts with him! I guess some things are never meant to be. Be strong, Lucy, my thoughts are with you! Thanks again for taking the time to share your story!!


Lucy 4 years ago

I met someone online five years ago. At first it was just on the website, then it was emails, then texting, and finally, we talked on the phone. We sent each other our pictures and it wasn't weird at all. I knew the beautiful person he was inside and the bonus was that I found him very handsome. There was an age difference (he was 13 years old than me), but it didn't matter. He listened, was extremely smart, and was a great confidante. He loved me. We always said "someday" we would meet - he lived 3 hours away.

I loved him with all my heart. I cherish every moment we ever had together. He died of a heart attack on Thanksgiving. His family tells me he had the best day ever. I met them at his wake/funeral. It's quite surreal and very sad. I can't believe the first time I got to see him was when he was gone.

My heart is broken. I can't really get anyone else to understand this - but his family has been very good to me. He was too young to die (61) and didn't have things settled for that. I will always regret that 'someday' never came.


Sweety 4 years ago

I think it is possible to all in love with someone over the internet you haven't met. But it can be one-side love. Yeah it happened with me. We were in touch for two months,But after two months he has suddenly stopped everything. I simply don't understand what happened. He forgot everything whatever he shared with me. I felt very disappointment. So don't believe in online love. Its just a time pass.


unknown 4 years ago

really falling in luv with sum1 u never met is risk...................................................

but we dont think before loving anyone............love happens automatically.......................with d person's way of thing,caring.................

i m also in luv wiht sum1 1 never meet .................we r in relation ship since last 3 mnths...........................& now we prefer video chat............................i love him a lot...............really a lot...................he is not attractive but though i love him


Alioth 4 years ago

I met the most amazing guy almost 4 months ago on World of Warcraft. We love each other so much, it's crazy. I want to be with him more than anything but I live in the Netherlands and he lives in Australia. I want to go to him in June but it's really expensive, my family doesn't approve and I'm terrified. I have never travelled on my own or by plane and I'm scared as hell.

How do you all do that? Wait so long for someone? And where do you find the courage to pack your bags and go to see him? I'm only 17. In june I'll be 18 but still.

I have the feeling this is meant to be. Do you think I should stop being a pussy and go for it? Or wait till next year Christmas when he comes to me? I don't know if we can wait that long. Do you think it's possible? Is it difficult to travel by plane?


maria.... 4 years ago

i met a schul frnd of mine on internet , i had a crush on him since schul daz . i proposed him n he accepted my proposal, things were going very smooth bt after sometym i felt lyk he ignored me.. he even did not wished me on my b'day . i felt very bad abt that. we hav nt met since we were in schul ( ie- in 5th std) . he is frm my place bt i study in UK and he is in australia. n he had came to UK . i really love him bt his ignorance at times make me feel sad n miserable n i think that this is not going to work anymore......pllllzzzzzz help


LDN 4 years ago

@Aaron: Everything will be okay. Really feel for your story and want you to know that you're not alone.


LDN 4 years ago

Hey, I posted on here 7 weeks ago and just wanted to give you all an update.

I went to meet him and the moment I saw him waiting for me in the arrivals lounge I knew everything was going to be okay. In fact, he was even more gorgeous, lovely and funny in person. We spent the most amazing weekend together and when it came to leaving, it felt like one of the most painful things I've ever had to do.

Since then, we've been Skyping, emailing and spending hours on the phone to each other. And we both realised how much we missed the other person. Everything felt complete when we were together. To be honest, I can't believe I'm writing all this soppy stuff because I'm the original love cynic. But I guess perspectives can change.

Anyway, in 2 weeks time, he's coming over to the UK.

Love is out there. Sometimes it might not be in the easiest of places (or time zones) but the right person is just waiting for you to find them.


Kym :( 4 years ago

2008,i as asked a friend of mined to find someone who is looking for a text mate..sms messaging. At first, it was awkward, then later on we feel like connected to each other. We texted everyday...that was during college. I never doubt..i was falling in love with her...2009 our relationship has becoming more than friends..we exchange i love you messages..and stuff like that..She became my girlfriend..for the past 2 years..we havent meet each other..we just call and send some sms..i wasnt able to find another girl...i knew i honestly love her. Her parents were preventing such relationships to happen..

2 more years..we had so many plans..i wanna meet her..but circumstances wont allow. Its getting too long..i already loss my patience..but love keeps me more stronger each day... until... last day..we end up everything...i can accept the fact, that this virtual girl,i knew from the phone, whome i been inlove with would give up our relationship without even giving both of us a chance to see each other.

She was 23, and im 25..We are both university graduate already..been working for more than 2 years now.. I am not reach..her family was a middle class...somehow richer...i dont have fancy cars..But surely i could take care of her..

Im so down..i almost loss my job..i cant either concentrate..i working too hard because of her..i was like a broken glass hard to fix. She my inspiration..without her..i dont know what would i be.

She was pretty..i had her pictures..its not really about physical thing that matters..its how this person could relate to you..and how much you are connected deep inside. The joy that i could feel when i receive an sms from this woman couldnt be explain..as if she was completing my day.

I could be ok if i loss my job, then still i could lean to her..i still have her..my inspiration..so it wont be harder for me to find one..But now,i loss her..and im losing my job...i feel like im doomed!

She was thinking of getting a job, so she could be free from her walled environment..i will support her.. I just cant imagined how she easily give up ...

She keeps tellin me that she was the problem..and that she couldnt find a way to get over from her parents..and that she is causing the pain and frustration i feel..which i also think is isnt necessary..since i am already immune to it for over 4 years...

Now, i wanna see her..thats just making me more aggressive to do this things which i haven't done for so long..i know, she loved me more than i do...but is it really possible that she go back again?

She wants freedom? she wants space, time to think about..She wanted to be freed from the guilt she feel when her parents would try to scrutinized her for having a hidden relationship with me..

We keep it secret ..only 2 or 3 persons knew about us..were just less than 200KM away..and i know that isnt far enough..when i can go driving more than that last weekend with my family.

What should be the odds that i could see her? Im not really quite sure about this..but i wanna see her and talk in person... She called it a stop to our relationship last 2 days ago..that really hurts..apart from losing a job..im really suck right now...

No worries, im not a suicidal person...im just so down atm.. lately been at the gym..i can really pull 100% of my strength...im really affected...this virtual break up has made me look invaluable.

PLEASE HELP ME .. :(

our names have the same starting letters..and have the same number of characters...we do have couple names as well..ei.. maria elouisa martiniz, Johan Michael Gustav..somthing like that..we do have a lot of things in common..i wish i could change her mind..i really broken hearted. ...guys//i need you help..

email me: nelsonne72priceg@fastmail.fm


Emily:) 4 years ago

Ive been talking to thus guy for a little over 3 years and I think its safe to say i'm head over hills for him. Im just worried that when we do meet that he won't love me the same:(


HeyitzShay 4 years ago

Hello

I've been communicating with someone I met 3 years ago on a dating site. I found him attractive through pictures and vice versa. I am not sure how he found me but he lives in California and I live in New York. I'm not sure what it was but I decided to chit chat with him, he turned out to be a nice guy and always thought that there was something special about him and I always felt some sort of connection to him we also know eachother well.

When I first started speaking, texting, emailing etc.. With him I had a different mindstate probably because I was younger but I always said to myself that we wont work because we are so far from eachother. I lead him on in alot of ways I even told him that I was going to visit him twice knowing thAt I wasnt going anywhere :( in which he got highly upset with me even kinda yelled at me on the phone. I felt real bad but he forgave me.

So the years passed by I dated other people and so did he but for whatever reason thus guy and I always kept in touch and missed talking to eachother I even referred to him as my California boyfriend. Recently I just got out of a ridiculous relationship with an ungrateful, disrespectful, rude immature person. And it made me realize why am I wasting time with people who are not worth my time? So for the past two months I stated communicating heavy with my California boo via text, phone and Skype (he's gorgeous) and I'm going to visit him next month, to my surprise I think I'm falling for him and he hasnalready expressed his like for me he also went as far as drunk texting me that he loves me which left me speechless but I do believe a drunk man speaks a sober mind.... I have nothing but positive thoughts about my hun we speak everyday and hes obviously a great person. I can't help but get the distance out of my head...he feels that we are going to be together and he makes mention of possibly moving out here and also of me moving there...im enrolled in online college and no children I am interested in relocating but I never thought as far as California... Any advice? I really have a great feeling about him and I as if he could be the one... Its a lil scary....


violetdreams 4 years ago

Rachel, how can you say you don't want to be a homewrecker, yet you spent the past weekend with a man you clearly new was married? Sheesh.. You contradict yourself. You say "we" are in love, how do you know if he is in love with you, because he says it? I'm sure his wife hears the same thing. Put yourself in his wife's position. If this guy lied to you in the beginning, and you said you foolishly forgave him, what are you REALLY getting out of this? Your happiness from having the perfect weekend will wear off and then when you evaluate what is left you will see that this is a roller coaster ride that will leave you hurt in the end. And you're not the only one that is getting hurt here...Please think before you get involved any further.


Rachel 4 years ago

Hello again. I posted on here sometime ago about a married man who had lied to me and whom I had foolishly forgiven. Well, we spent the past weekend together and I have to say, it was absolutely perfect. There is no doubt that we are very much in love. Although we want to be together, I do not want to be a homewrecker. Nor am I waiting for him to change his life for me. I am just glad that I didn't let him go and went through the time, trouble and effort for the sake of love. The memories I have of our brief moment together are well worth it. I am not asking him to get divorced for me and I am not promising myself to him. We are in love and will take things as they come. That's all I can say for now.


Maza 4 years ago

I am sixteen years old and I met someone online who I have a very strong connection with and might even love.

We met on a fan fiction website after he emailed me about a story I posted. It kind of annoyed me at first because he emailled quite a bit, but mutual interests won out and I found out that we have a tonne in common. That was actually the reason he emailled me in the first place as well as the story.

Anyway, he is one year older than me and lives in the US while I live in Australia. After about a month of emailing he added me on Facebook. That was when we really got talking.

Eventually there was a point where I realized that I would be annoyed if we didnt get to talk and I sent up Facebook on my phone so we could talk more often. Then I tried going out with a guy I knew and it dawned on me that I was crushing on the guy I was talking to online and I broke up with my boyfriend.

A few days later, my online guy told me that he had a crush on me and I told him that I shared the same feelings. That was after we had been talking for 5 months. Since that point, we started asking ourselves if we would be good in a relationship and would it be worth meeting each other. Yes to both questions :).

We have been talking for 8 and a half months now, every single day. We have also started video chatting and we exchange addresses and sent each other Christmas presets as well.

We are planning to meet in December this year. When I graduate school I am going to the US for Christmas and the New Year to see him. I am also planning on transferring to a college near him at the end of 2013 so that I can be near him and I am planning to stay for three years.

Many people think I am insane to be focusing on meeting a guy I met online when I am only 16 and a half. But my theory is, that it I save money but we stop talking then I will still have that money. If I go to the US but a relationship doesn't work out then I still have be experience of living in a foreign country.

I really want to see him, and even if I am not in love with him, I am falling for him.

I know I am only 16, but at the moment he is my reason for getting through school with high grades (so i can get into an American college) and saving money (so I can afford it). But if it doesn't work out, I still have what I have done up until that point.

I am trying to keep a level head about the fact I may be in love with a guy I've never met.


Dee Dee 4 years ago

I believe I have fallen in love with a guy on-line, we are soul connected and know what eachother is thinking and feeling most of the time. He is not ready to meet me because he has a lot going on in his life but I am really ok with that. I feel like if I meet him it will break the magical spell of our fantasy. We think about eachother all day and night and even dream of one another. He is much younger than I am and I fear that when I meet him he wont be as attracted to my real life beauty as he is with the beautiful woman he has created in his mind. I float thru the day daydreaming and texting serious and sexy messages. I can be younger again and carefree with him. I can as honest or a restraintive as he is accepting. We are in eachothers life for a powerful reason, I can feel it. I dont know how long it will last but I am enjoying every minute at least for today.......


violetdreams 4 years ago

Since I was online earlier and asked for advice, I have read through some of the comments posted on here, and although I am not a counselor, let me just say that I have found out the hard way that people lie and there is no way you can be absolutely sure who the person on the other end of the line is that you are talking to, just as they cannot know. Please, before you get emotionally invested and lose yourself, don't ignore red flags if they are there. If they sound too good to be true they proably are. I wouldn't have believe this myself at one point and I have finally seen the light and how a lying individual can ruin your life, your trust and effect your current and future relationships. Please be careful and don't fall into a 3 year relationship like I did that ended up being painful, full of lies and deceit and after all that...I ended up with nothing but a broken heart. God bless you all and Happy New Year hopefully full of new experiences and good things.


Nadgel 4 years ago

Hi

Well at the moment I'm in love with someone I met online 3years ago. He had started to chat with me and soon we have written with eachother every day. Soon after that I had fallin in love with him. But I couldn't telk him because I was afraid that he would stop chatting with me. A day later he had a girlfriend and my heart was torn apart..

I tried to seal my heart ...and we still had contact but not so much anymore at that time..and I thougt I stoped loving him but I was so wrong.. In the passsed three years I had a boyfied I met real first and stuf.. But I never loved him like the guy online.

1 month agoe my online guy called me the first time on skype and I heard his voice .

I can't discribe how if felt at that moment. I was overwelmbt by the reaction of my heart to his voice. At that moment I knew I never stoped loving him and I'm not shur if my heart will stop loving him ever. (he doesn't has a girlfriend anymore^^) .

We are talking every day with eachother and he send me photos and so now I know evan how he looks like.

I told my friend about that (i met her online too) and she asked him if he loved me realy. And he said yes. I was so happy.

He told me 2 times he loved but always in moments when I have told him I coulfn't hear him ( well i heard hebut he thought I didn't).

But now comes the problem.. I havn't told he that I love him yet..and if I did I wouldn't know how that would work.. We are both 17 and we wouln't be able to see us often becouse of school.. But on the other hand I don't want to loos him again to a other girl. I'm confussed and don't now what to do.


Random guy 4 years ago

Hello, im 16 and ive met this girl im getting really intressted in , infact i think i love her. Everyone here says u just chat etc. Ive cammed with this girl , we have talked threw mic etc. Im gnna meet her this summer in a vacction place where we will prob spend 2 weeks togheter. The only thing is. I feel like im missing out sumthing. There is so many girls i could get , i used have bad confidence but then i started working out etc, got a new look, girls are intressted but i mean i love this girl, And i know it wouldnt be nice if i met other girls. We cam alot, both sexually ofc. lol. We talked about when we finish school and start unvisersty we could study in the same country , shareing apartment.. im honest to her . and shes honest to me, we talked about it alot. We dun lie, we even had argyues. Im asking u ppl.. ive never been inlove.. maybe im inlove in the thought of love? i wanna hear ur adviceses.. help me out. Btw shes really beautiful. Have an amazing body shes smart.. etc.. Happy new year people.. hopefully 2012 will be an amazing year for me.


ariana 4 years ago

soo im currently falling for a guy online..he's two yrs older than me..he's really sweet,caring,amazing, etc..basically hes everything i look for in a guy.We've been talking for the last 2 months..its this website but im scared to say it..but i'll just say it..AHEM.."stardoll",,i really love him nd he luvs me..were just really into each other..he lives in Chicago,IL and whereas I live in Los angeles,CA..it sucks being so far away from each other..but i do have hopes that one day we'll meet in person, face-to-face.We've been talking just on chat. im not sure if to start txting,talking on the phone?? i wanna see were this ends up..i really love him. I see that people have met in real life and see that it isnt such a bad thing having a relationship online. any advice? p.s.i know this sounds pretty stupid but i just feel that i've known him my whole life..and i really hope we meet each other.


Rebel 4 years ago

It's me again. I decided to ask the guy i like what his facebook was and I found him on it. I told him i couldn't find him because honestly, he's really ugly and fat... I am normally not judgmental but I feel like he's been lying to me about a lot of things now. How do I let him down without hurting his feelings, sounding shallow, and stopping our friendship online?

he is looking for a relationship, i'm only looking for a roleplay friend...


Aaron 4 years ago

Hi lol i'm back for more advice. I want to discuss everything that happened with this guy over the phone or in person because we never did and its just been text and e-mail but i don't want to pressure him and i don't know how to approach it. He's already back online looking for another and i just want to salvage this while i still can because he's said it himself he felt a strong connection with me and I'm the one who took leave from what we had because i thought i was loosing my mind but i was medically cleared because i was just under alot of pressure. He says he doesnt blame me because we are both responsible for our own actions but idk what he means because it was a text. So how should i approach this? I just want more than an over the phone friendship with him because we've been talking for 4 months and we talked every day except those 2 1/2 weeks so alot was said back and forth. Is it normal to feel this way? Sorry haha im just running in circles looking for some kind of restitution and i told him when we first started talking im not use to affection period and he was just covering me with such affection and i didnt know how to react i mean it may have been words on a screen and a voice on the phone but the things he said to me just made me so happy and now im always sad and i miss having him say those things and i miss saying sweet things back.... its like i was in a relationship but i wasnt and i cant explain it for the life of me and to this day when i sleep i dream of him and its been like that for a month and a half but then i wake up happy only to be Disappointed when i wake up alone. Thats all i wanna say right now because now im about to cry because this is a really touchy subject and i've told no one close to me about him because im a very private person so that makes it worse because i have no one to talk to about it so its just been bottling up and i think im reaching my breaking point and im at the end of my rope. If anyone can help please do i just cant let him go when he made me happier than i ever was before.


Rebel 4 years ago

I am currently falling in love with a guy i met over a roleplay site. he told me about him, and i told him about me but we haven't given out our full names, just because I think were both hesitant to give away such personal info. He is two years older than me and for the past time we have done nothing but connected when we talked. Though, when i spoke to my friends about online to real meetings they told me it was crazy, that it was probably an old guy looking to rape me. Ever since she told me that I have built a sort of wall, keeping from falling for him as badly as i have been(and it isn't something that has made me feel better, just more worried and worse). I truthfully love him, believe him, and trust him, but I'm afraid for the worse possibilities. He wants to skype me to prove he is who he says, but I'm suddenly really afraid he won't be what i expect, or that he won't like me for me... even though he has showed multiple times that he believes the inner person is what matters, not the outside. Does anyone have advice for me?

Ps: didn't want to use real name so i put one of my nicknames.


Poppy 4 years ago

Just like to say, people are people. When you meet someone online, you see the side of them that they want you to see. I've never met up with someone I met online, but if you do, you'd better be ready to see things differently!

It's a risk I would not take and maybe you would take, you never really know the person until you've been around them irl. They could be dangerous, there has been many cases of things like murder after people met irl. Not saying that it's impossible for a relationship to work irl, but whether you like it or not, it's a RISK, don't be blinded by love or a friendship, see the real picture, think seriously about what you're doing and why would you like to invite this person in your life? Do you really feel you are able to sustain the relationship, whether you are a couple or just friends?

I would think about how long you've been talking to each other and how committed you've both been to each other online. Have things they ever said not weighed up? Is there something tthat you feel important to know something they haven't opened up about? This is your life, love is something special but don't give yourself away to something you haven't seriously considered because at the end of the day it's all about you. You don't have to do any of it, you can live your life without this online person, you've been doing it before you met them online!

However, if you're not planning to meet up and just would like to have an online relationship, then you will most definitely go through stages where you want more from the other person, when evemtually you can't - there comes a point where it's impossible to have more of a connection online, this is what may cause you to stop feeling so fond of the other person.

Just remember that there are plenty of people out in the real world for you, whether you realise that or not. It all comes down to what you truly want from the other person and if they deliver. Think seriously. Thank you.


Aaron 4 years ago

I'm going to just check in every now and then to let you know how its all going. At this point its going well we talk everyday now as we did lol he was in a car accident and i called him the second he texted me saying he was in one and i was really worried but he's ok. Weather we will meet and start dating or just be friends i don't know but the futures not written so ill just have to wait and see.

Good luck to everyone in similar situations and hang in there lifes like a wild rollercoaster you just can't see the track in front of you so you never know when a turn or a loop is coming but when it does dont freak out just go with the flow ;)


tenzin 4 years ago

i have met guy over internet we have been mailing since over two years ago,we be came good friend and until now

we have mailing not every day month or weeks i really interesting to hem and trust hem, we were same country but we are far from because i was working out of my country we have even no phone call we just mail each other and sharing life not love, we both have dream to meet one day we have deep deserve to meet, i believe

to god and pray every day we wanna be friendship forever

for end of life, hem ask me to be best friend forever but

i cant say yes until i meet but my heart said i'll be best friend forever........i do like hem but i cant say

i love you......happy new year to all and peaceful life ahead


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

You are welcome, sheherazade! I love the way you view the situation you are in and am happy your approach is so positive. Yes, the experience of loving a person is important. I hope your story has a happy end.

Best of luck! Merry Christmas and a very happy and prosperous New Year to you too :)


sheherazade 4 years ago

Thanks shil for your comments. I realize that being in this chaotic situation like falling in love with a man whom I never met in person, it can be as well a reality to consider that it is really possible to happen to anyone. However, we must be cautious in dealing it. Though, In love we are not sometimes rational anymore once our emotions overpower our being. As one of those many people who have experienced this, I always think the positive side of the situation. I realized that true love never expects in return. Being in love is the most happy feelings we can possibly feel but we have also realized that happiness is always paired with sadness. Shil, I still believe in destiny. Though most people believe that our destiny depends on how we make decisions for ourselves. But there is still things in this world that we are not in control and only the universe has the last and final say for us.

So in my case, I believe that if we are meant to be, I guess love finds a way. I know that I am still important in his life that is why he never breaks that connection between us. I wanted to feel that feelings as long as it is still exist in my heart. Despite the fact that we never had a chance to meet face to face. I believe that in TRUE LOVE, time and distance doesn't matter anymore. Lastly, I wanted to tell everyone the good things about falling in love with a person you never met face to face ; it is the EXPERIENCE of loving that person right? Whether we end up happy or sad the important things is, we prove to ourselves that we are capable to give the most important part of our being to that person...and that is LOVE...despite the fact that we never met...

So good luck to everyone... I really enjoyed reading the authors comments as well as the stories of the people who have similar experience to me.

Merry Christmas and Have a Prosperous New Year to All

P.S. Try to read the story of psyche and cupid...I know it is a myth but in real life it happens as well.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

Rachel, a couple of things you should think about!! How do you know that his marriage has been going downhill and that he and his wife are very unhappy with each other? Is this what he said to you? And if so, do you have a good reason to believe him with his constant lying to you so far?

You'd only know if his wife is unhappy in the relationship if you talked to her. Unfortunately, many good marriages have been destroyed by online relationships and am sure you don't want to be the reason for breaking up another marriage.

Before you come to the conclusion that they are both unhappy in their marriages, investigate and dig deeper to know if that's really the truth. I wouldn't be keen on believing a guy who has lied about his age and many other things!!

While we may want happiness for ourselves, it is important that that happiness doesn't come at the cost of someone else's sadness and tears. Just make sure that you don't blindly trust him and seek deeper answers about him and his life!!


Rachel 4 years ago

6 months ago I met a man on a video chat website. He immediately gave me his Skype name as he was worried about the website crashing [which it apparently does often; that was only my second time on the site]. I had actually uninstalled Skype earlier that day and decided to reinstall it in order to add him. He seemed like a very friendly, nice, and good looking man. We chatted on Skype frequently, having lulls here and there in which we would be out of contact for a few days to a week. We got to know each other pretty well, we'd discuss our daily lives, things that interest us, or whatever popped into our head at the moment. We genuinely enjoyed talking to each other. After 3 months I realized that I was developing stronger feelings for him and decided to [emotionally] let him know. It was then that he revealed he had a girlfriend. I had asked him several times since we met if he had a girlfriend and was just playing around with me to which he always answered 'no'. He then said that he had lied to me from the beginning because he didn't think I'd want to talk to someone who was already taken. I didn't care about his status, I just wanted someone to talk to that night. I was upset that he lied to me continuously when I asked for the truth, but mostly I was upset to learn that someone already had what I wanted and there was no way I could ever get it. He said he really liked talking to me and would be hurt if I just ended contact with him. Of course I didn't want to let him go just like that so I decided to stay. We continued to chat, but it was less often and we rarely did video chats again. I felt emotionally detached during our chats, like he was just someone to talk to and not someone I really liked. I was slowly able to do video chats with him again. But the more we talked, the more I started to fall for him again. After about 3 more months I poured my heart out to him, this time more intensely and passionately. I felt much stronger about him this time than the first time. He said he had similar feelings, so this time I felt a little more at ease. However, I had always had this nagging feeling that there was something more he wasn't telling me so I decided to ask him if his girlfriend was really only a girlfriend. He then broke my heart by telling me she was actually his wife. They have been married for 12 years and have an adopted 3 yr old daughter. He also lied about his age. I had always thought he was only 9 years my senior but instead he is actually 13 yrs older than me. Learning the truth hurt me so much, he not only broke my heart but nearly broke me. I tried my best to understand why he did what he did, but all he could tell me was "I don't know." He was afraid of losing me because he had developed feelings close to mine. I didn't want to give it all up just like that because I felt that I invested too much time and energy into it to just let it go. Little by little, I calmed down and was able to nearly forgive him [I don't forgive and it takes me a long time to get over something. Once someone has done me wrong, I never forget]. Shortly after, we fell deep in love with each other. We tell each other everyday, every time we talk. Unfortunately, there is the issue of his wife and daughter. His marriage has been going downhill for a while, he and his wife are very unhappy with each other. We are going to meet this weekend. If things go well, nay perfect, then he plans to leave his wife to be with me. However, I'm not expecting anything and I'm not going to wait for him. I love him and want to be with him now, but I'm not going to put my life on hold for him. We've discussed what we would want to happen if the meet-up does go well, but there's no way of knowing how it'll all happen. We just have to wait to see where this road takes us. Hopefully we'll end up in love and happiness together.


anon 4 years ago

after reading all ur experiences i guess it isn't wrong to have fallen in love with someone i haven't met...but i still wonder it is really okay to give urself into something like this?...i still think about him.....we were in a sincere relationship for 8 wonderful months and we still love each other but due to some complications we can't be together now..i do hope we do get together though...i hope i do get to meet him someday and at that time around (not just pictures but an actual conversation face to face...eye to eye....)hopefully catch up with lost time... ....missing him dearly but can't get in touch with him....oh man i just hope i don't sound stupid :p :):D


habakanaka 4 years ago

i met her on omegle...we only talked for about two minutes and we're already madly in love....it feels so nice :)


mashauna 4 years ago

Well i met this guy over the internet and he lives in Texas and i live in California and we say it ws live at first sight. We Skype all the time, text and talk on the phone. He has two kids and hes 21 i am younger than him by a few years. He won't tell his babys moms that he has a gf though! :/ also he says he loves me with all his heart but we have never seen eachother in person before and he won't put that were in a relationship on Facebook or anything. I dont understand. He tells me that he wants to get married and that i am his fiancé but i haven't gotten a ring or anything fron him. And he says he can't afford to come and see me but yet he goes out almost everynight. I just don't know what to do. It hurts me not being able to see him or kiss him. And wonder if hes cheating or talking to one of his babys moms and thinking about getting back with her ya know?


Emma 4 years ago

I've enjoyed reading the comments and I do agree, it is possible to be in love with someone you've never met. About 2 years ago, I met a guy online through a friend of a friend. However, he lived a 12 hours drive away from me. We talked for about 6 months before I really realized how much I liked him. It wasn't long until I told him, and he felt the same way. We've been talking since then, and although we have our ups and downs, i think talking and being able to be open rather then just doing sexual things in a relationship is very important, especially early on. No, we aren't dating, but I do love him very much. I see him all the time on webcam and it is always an amazing experience to see how happy he is when we talk. I've honestly never met a person I can be so open and honest with. I love everything about him, even his faults. I feel like whenever I talk to him I'm just complete, like hes the person I should spend the rest of my life with. We're only 17, and although we're young and don't know what the future will bring, if we're meant to be i know we will find a way.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

@ AriPur, Is it really possible to fall in love over the Internet, you ask? Well, I'd suppose so - after all, so many people on here have left comments to that effect. I don't think I can dispute what they've had to share. So, yes, I'd think you can - however strange that may seem!!

@ Vivian, you are most welcome! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your story. I enjoyed reading your 'long' comment, so no problem at all :) I hope your story has a happy ending. The world has become a smaller place thanks to the Internet. Brazil and China aren't so far away anymore. I wish you the very best and hope all your dreams come true and your story ends the way you want it to!!


Vivian 4 years ago

I fell into deep thinking after reading blue's comment , cause i once fell in love with a guy online , we loved each other so much , it was like how most people described , the most fantastic feeling that i've ever have, he's 1 year younger than me , i love the way we involved with each other everyday ,but we're both annoyed by that we couldn't meet up in a few years ,if we date it would be such a hard long run cause i was a sophomore n he was a freshman when we met, we shared the most amazing time of our lifes than ever, unfortunately we broke up after sometime ,cause we're afraid of running of patience for this long run. but after two months later i couldn't hold my feelings and emailed him ...he suprised me , cause he was pretending another person to talk to me in the website we met each other ! (no wonder i felt so familiar with that strange guy)he said he wanted to know everyday of my life, interestingly i applyed a new msn with another name and wanted to connect him too , but he refused the friend invitation as he didn't know it's me . we both felt so happy to connect each other again, cause we once talked like we would never connect again, we both strongly missed each other every moment during that two months, but the same problem annoyed us, not after too long we kept silence again, so we didn't talk for a year from now , i'll graduate in a few months and i want to work soon and make chance to see him and even marry and live with him.

blue's case is even easier than mine ,they live in the opposite side of the united states but we live in the opposite side of the world-- china and brazil (i'm a chinese). we talked about going to work in Australia cause it's hard for us to live in each other's country for language issue ,but he said anywhere can be my home as long as you're by my side , i was so moved , but he'll just graduate after 2 years since he has 5 years in his uni. I think i should do this to him too as i really want to contact him again so much , but i'm afraid what if he has a girlfriend for now, i'll be so upset , cause i really think he's the one for me , life is nothing without him as i tried so much time to forget him but couldn't , how i wish he didn't change the feelings between us , that's the only time i feel how true love is. he looks always cute in my eyes, i think i'm the same to him...lol..but appearance really isn't a thing for me, i think to him too.

just hope things wouldn't turn to be like what blue said, someday we might marry with another person each other, cause there's a man who treats me quite well not and i tried to love him as the same way as i do with the brazilian guy but doesn't work, cause i still think of him every single day...not sure what would happen, but if he doesn't have a girlfriend, i'll take every chance to make a future with him.

I'm sorry it's too long, it's my very first time to write something in a hub. thank you Shil and everyone here, hope everyone gets a happy ending.


AriPur 4 years ago

Hi... I've been friend for this guy over a long time. Apparently we felt in love, but I don't think that's possible. We only went out once, but we used to talk everyday, we text... is it really possible to fall in love over the internet?


guest17 4 years ago

how about you let yourself fall inlove online but see if it is the same face to face?? yes i believe that we can fall inlove online but being face to face with the person and actually to be with him physically could be very different so i think we should try to experience both virtual and reality..before really committing :)


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

@ Tammy, you first need to figure out if the existing relationship you are in right now has a future or not? If not, then you need to move on from it. As far as the other guy you met, well, there is nothing much you can go on right now. It is up to you to decide whether you need to start having a friendship with him and see where it might take you. As of now, relect on your existing relationship and whether you need to invest your time to save it, or move on!! Once you are clear on that, you can decide on what you want to do with this other person. Be cautious though - don't jump into anything without thinking through!!

@ Robert, wish you all the best - hope your story has a happy ending. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your story :)

@ Aaron, I can't possibly claim to know what is best for you with a 100% certainty, so it is your choice, as to what the best thing is for you to do! Hopefully, things work out as you want them to. Thanks for stopping by again Merry Christmas to you and all :)


Aaron 4 years ago

Well after my last post he said he wanted nothing to do with me so, i took your advice and its been working but now im having dreams about him (non sexual) but they feel so real and so right ya know? its weird but a few days after they started he messaged me and said we can still talk so i dont know if i should cuz i dont want things to go sour again because even if nothing ever happens between us i'de still like to have some form of communication with him.

Word of advice: Dont dick around! If you feel like the person your talking to is worth meeting then do it! The sooner the better because if not your bound to have complications that could very well be the end of what you had with that person weather it be friendship of something more dont risk it. Everyone deserves a chance and you nvr know that person could end up being your spouse for life :D Merry Christmas everyone!


robert 4 years ago

hey i just found this article on google and i would like to contribute and just say 2 years ago if i would have asked myself if someone could fall in love with someone without meeting them i'd say no way, but however i have in deed fallen deep in love with this girl we met just about 2 years ago and it was on a online video game world of warcraft we were in the same guild and we use a communication program called ventrillo somewhat like skype and since we became friends we have spent literally 99% of the days talking to each other laughing sharing stories watching movies together etc and it kills me inside bcuz i live in florida and she lives in new york if i had the financial stability to move there and be with her i would without hesitation and based on the philosophy of the physical attraction once we do meet i wouldnt care if she had 1 leg no hair and a distorted face i would love her the same its incredible the connection we have i was previously engaged right out of highschool and i can honestly say i love this girl on a whole nother level i think i would be lost if i didnt have her and so far it has been about 2 months shy of 2 years and i love her more than ever and it eat me up that i cant be with her i go to bed every night thinking about her and wishing we were together there is nothing in this world or anywhere that has the power to change my mind on loving her


tammy 4 years ago

i meet this guy 2 years ago we feel a conection but i had to go back home and he was a trucker we meet for about 30 min after theat we never caould catch up with each other again then the other day he founded me on facebook and said he always thought about me and cant get me out of his mine and says he love me and need me what to me again but i have someone but not happy plz help me


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

Violet, you are most welcome! I can relate to how you felt and your desire to hold on. I am happy you've now realized the futility of that and have desired to move on!!

Thank you for the appreciation - glad you enjoyed my articles. Once again, happy to help - the pleasure was mine! Wish you all the best - may you find the love you truly deserve :)


violetdreams 4 years ago

Thank you so much for your advice. I wanted so much to believe that this man truly cared for me that I didn't see the red flags, or just didn't want to see them. It is hard to cut contact with him as I felt what we had was real; but like you said I need to find someone worth my time. Thank you again and I enjoy reading your articles and comments, you have helped me more than you know.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

Violet, I think it is better you just let go of this man. I don't think he is worth your time. He has lied to you so much that I am surprised you are still in contact with this person. I would think this guy just wants to play with you.

For all you know, he may be married and have kids. I don't see any other reason why he's been so secretive. He probably just wants a fling, with no strings attached. You are rightly worried about your safety too. Don't go by any pictures he has shown you - it is unlikely to be his.

You've allowed him to mess with your feelings for far too long. You deserve much better!! Move on, Violet - just ignore this guy and find someone worth your time!!


violetdreams 4 years ago

I have been talking to the same man for 4 years come December. He contacted me from a dating site. We have had nothing but in-depth and intimate discussions with me being on the web cam but not him. He has told me that he wants me to have his children and that I am the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Over the course of the years I have asked to meet him and the plans never come through. A year ago I found out he had been lying to me about what he does for a living, where he lives, where he is from, and possibly other things such as whether or not he had children and or a wife/exwife etc. I was devastated when I found out and he then wanted to end our relationship saying, he could only wish me the best. His pictures were of an extremely handsome black man who looked like a male model. Since he had lied about some things I wasn't sure if the man I was talking to was actually the man in the pictures or not? He also has several websites as he is someehat famous in his career. Recently he has started talking to me again saying his feelings for me never changed and he wants to come see me but now even though I am so intrigued and possibly in love, I am scared for my safety and for what I may discover. He has yet to give me his real name (he has one on a website and he gave me a different name), an address or a phone number for me to contact him and is very secretive about everything. If the moment comes when he really does want to meet which he has been talking about "scheduling" I am lost on what to do. He has pulled my heartstrings in every direction possible and I was devastated when I found out that he had lied to me. I haven't messaged him on a regular basis anymore because after he said he wanted to come see me I didn't hear from him for 2 weeks and this is the normal pattern. Then he says he has been busy and hopes Im okay. Please offer some advice on what to do, does this guy sound like a player or do you think he really is for real and cares for me.


blue 4 years ago

What if the two people that meet online are married to other people and throw thier whole other lives away for this and they live on opposite side of the United States i cant even believe this could happen and it could last


Olivia 4 years ago

when I was freshmen I met my current relationship on a website named tagged.com, we hit it off. Everyday we texted and everynight we talked on the phone. After 2 months of constant texting and talking I finally admitted to him that I was in love with him and he confessed he was too in fact in love with me. for two years we were fine, then Facebook was in the picture and I had asked if he had one he denied it and I decided to look him up. I found him and felt betrayeded because he lied to me. after that we never really talked about it but I felt he was hiding something. We've been talking for almost 4 years now, we've almost broken up three times, but we both realized that we couldn't live without on another. I plan on going to see him during spring break, he lives in Texas and I live in west Virginia. Were both 17 and I wouldn't trade him for the world. He makes me feel amazing and I smile everytime we talk and he's my world and i want to be with him forever. hope everything works out for us :)


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

David, in a way, it is the same thing. However, the difference being that you had never interacted with her, as some of the other folks in here have. You do get to know the person at a deeper level through interaction. Also, most of the vistors who've left comments on this hub have not seen the person in question face-to-face. I hope you have (or have had) better luck (since) - :)


Davidwork 4 years ago

Shil 1978,

I don't know if you would technically define this as quite the same thing, but when I was 19, I fell in love with a girl who lived across the road from me. I loved her for four years, until she got married to someone else. I never got to know her, never said a word to her, I only ever admired her from afar.

I went on to fall in love with another girl who worked in the same office as me. I did talk to her, and got to know her a little, but we never went out; I asked her, several times, but she never gave me a yes or a no, so I gave up on her.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

@ Sarah, since you are only 15, would suggest that you confide in your parents! They deserve to know and would be understanding I feel. They are best suited to advise you on this!!

@ Lia, I hope he does - all the best :)


Lia Dominguez 4 years ago

I think i fell inlove with the man i met online.But so ashame to tell him said it but indirect.I wish he will love me too


sarah sherwood 4 years ago

HELP!!!!! I'm in love with a guy I've met through my friend. I've never met him and she has. It's been two years talking and being together and I'm in love so much. I wana meet him so bad but he lives two hours away and my parents have no clue. I'm 15 btw


happy4life 4 years ago

It is possible. I have to agree that you have to be cautious and if you choose to meet, you have to be clear about the things you want. Honesty is very important and you really need time together in person to spend. Dont rush into something if you are not ready even if you love them. I almost married someone. I broke up with him last year. I still love him to this day. I have met someone new and I am very afraid of the very same thing happening so I am taking my time. No expectations and there is no plan to meet yet however there has been talk about it.


muna 4 years ago

yes it is possible..i met my husband in facebook at the beginning of this year..and he cuttiest the smartest and the most caring person i hv ever met....after 6month of talking and exchanging view we got married this summer.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

MyEverylovesong, don't feel scared or feel conscious about how you look. When you feel negative about yourself and have self doubt, you radiate that negative energy to the opposite person as well. Just be positive and confident about yourself. Remember, this person liked you for who you are. Now, if he is so shallow as to focus on specific physical attributes rather than look at you for the person you are, then that speaks poorly of him, not you!!

You cannot really predict what he'd feel when you meet, so don't worry about it. As far as abstinence, well, you should share that with him since that's what you feel. No reason to hide that!! When you want to tell him that, though, is another question.

Telling him in the very first meeting or first few meetings may not be necessary. If he brings up the subject of getting physical, you would have to tell him. However, otherwise, may be you can wait on telling him that immediately! Let him get to know you better!! All the best :)


MyEverylovesong profile image

MyEverylovesong 4 years ago

Four or five years ago, I was only 14 or so I met this guy playing a game online called counter strike source, and ever since then we were friends, we talked quiet often, but it wasn't just us it was more like a small group of like 10 people or so on a voip server its like a large phone conversation. So after being friends with him for like 2 to 3 years i kinda developed a crush on him because he was so sweet and funny, and this is when he started giving gift online using a application called steam, he didn't have my number or address yet, but i was slow and i hadn't realized that he liked me like i liked him. but since he lived half way across the country i tried to just be his friend but by the time i turned 18 i was in love with him. Still I refused to tell him tried denying and we've been talking almost every day for years.... i wonder why i couldn't get over him, lol . Now im 20 and I dont know why but i just decided to tell him how I felt and he told me that he felt the same.... finally understood why he kept giving me gifts. So we've been together for three monthes now and he wants to fly me out there for christmas and I'm going, I'm excited but I'm really scared that he won't like like ohysically when he finally see's me in person because i'm overweight. He has seen pics of me over the years but I just don't know if he know's. I know he loves me, he bought me a computer (it's really nice one to) and he tells me that he does but I guess I feel insecure. And also we have never talked about sex and i was wondering should i tell him that I believe in abstinance until marriage and i'm scared to approach the subject because its new territory.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

Drrosedvm, I am glad you enjoyed this page!! Oh, what an interesting story yours is. How is all of this possible, you ask? Well, it just does for some folks - a fact testified by the many comments by real people on this article.

I can understand your nervousness - if I were you, I'd feel nervous too. However, that doesn't mean you eat less or do anything extra. Yes, you want to be at your best, but he has already seen you, hasn't he, and he liked you, right?

So, just be at ease and don't feel undue nervousness about how you look. It is just in your mind. Just a word of caution - don't raise your expectations too much. Go in with the feeling of "If something good has to work out between the two of you, it will."

Don't invest too much in this relationship at this stage. Take it one step at a time. One would be tempted to think with one's heart at this stage, but do try to think with your mind as well. I hope things work out the way you want them to.

Either ways, I'd be interested in knowing how things turn out for you! All the best dear :)


drrosedvm 4 years ago

Shil,

I really enjoyed this page, I've been looking for help on this topic for a while now. I have been talking on the phone/texting a guy many times a day that I have only met over the phone (not on the internet). I feel like it sounds better that I can say I started talking to him because he got my number from a good friend of mine when they were on vacation together. He lives 13 hours away and has always wanted to come see me, we are just both really busy with school. In the meantime I have fallen in love with everything about him. I know he feels the same, he calls me, we tell each other "I love you" (words that I would refuse to say to other guys in the past), we share things with each other that we haven't told anyone. I trust him with everything in me. How is all of this possible if I've never met him? I just don't see myself as the girl who falls in love with someone like this. I am only 20 years old and I'm in college. I've got my whole life ahead of me, and yet I have rejected multiple guys who are interested in dating me because I am so in love with someone who happens to live so far away. I have been talking with him for almost a year now and there has been many times where he has said that he would visit, but then things end up getting in the way. I'm heart-broken every time that happens, but I don't let it show because I know that patience is the best way to get through it. The great news is, he SHOULD be visiting me exactly one month from now. I found your article because the fact that he is most likely coming to visit makes me very excited but also very nervous. He knows what I look like and I know the same. We not only have seen pictures through facebook and texting, but we skpye too (same as seeing someone face-to-face right?). I do trust him, and I am not sure exactly how he feels but I hope it's along the lines of my feelings- I have seen what he looks like and I think he is attractive, and honestly I wouldn't care if she was "less attractive" than my standards because I love him for the person he is. I have to vent to someone about this. I lie to all my friends and say that we met before he moved away, so I can't tell them about everything. I am really nervous about his visit...you have no idea. I have been at the gym twice a day and hardly been eating. I will do everything it takes to be good enough for him. I trust that he will love me but then I overwhelm myself with all these thoughts, and my terrible self-esteem sets in. I don't know what to do with myself. I just know that I really do love him and I want to finally see him in someplace other than my dreams. Thank you for your advice/feedback/listening, and thank you and everyone else for the advice and stories! I really need the help.


Imnotalone 4 years ago

Shil, thanks. Yes it does help to get this out. I wish I can say that we can repair our relationship. Unfortunately, you need to water the flowers for them to not die. My husband hasn't watered the plants in a long time. I can't even remember the last time we slept together.

We are moving soon to a bigger place so I'm hoping that things will change but he sure will have to work very hard to get me to fell in love with him again...


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

Imnotalone, that's a tricky situation you find yourself in. I hope sharing how you feel by commenting here has taken some of the burden off your chest. I hope you feel a bit lighter about this all. I know how difficult this might be for you. I wish I could help, but I am afraid you will need to come to your own conclusion on this - going forward.

I am so happy that you care enough about the bonds shared by your kids and their dad. I've seen many women just leave, without thinking of the consequences on their kids. Perhaps, you just need to stand back a bit and re-evaluate how you feel about this all. Certainly, you'd need to avoid rushing into anything at this stage.

Maybe, you can yet repair your relationship with your husband! Would there be much hope of that happening? You certainly aren't getting a good deal from him at the moment. It is not fair on you! Hope things work out and become clear to you as you go along! Stay strong and be positive! Best of luck!!


imnotalone 4 years ago

I have been trying to find answers to the way I've been feeling about this guy I met online. I'm an activist and do lots of Facebook activism. I saw this cute guy posting comments on my activist page and decided to add him to my Facebook when I never add other activists. I usually let them add me but I rarely request others. 6 months later he started posting comments on my wall under my activists posts, etc. I thought his comments were so interesting and I was liking him more and more. One day he private emailed me about something related to the activism we do then it went from there... Then one day he asked me to do something for him and he will barter for it, and everything started since. There is one problem though... I'm married with 3 young children. My husband and I have been having marital problems on and off for about 3-4 years. He doesn't make love to me, he doesn't hug or kiss me. Our intimacy have died and this led to make me feel lonely and attracted to this guy. We exchanged numbers and have texted, emailed, talked, since then. We talk a lot of things, mostly intellectual stuff and sometimes erotic stuff. I thought it was a sexual attraction but I can't stop thinking about him and I know he feels the same way but won't admit it. For thanksgiving I told him to think about me (because I knew he was going to be lonely) and he started chuckling. I asked him what was so funny and he told me that when friends care for each other they think about each other. Hmmmm really??? Come on! He is 3 years older than me, single, no children, and I feel that my baggage is stopping him to confess how he feels about me... Some nights I cry because I can't tell anyone and because this feeling is growing and is killing me!!! I can't leave my husband, he is an amazing dad and my children love their dad. I can't break them apart. Thankfully, this guy lives in another state but it is still painful. It sucks feeling this way ;(


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 4 years ago Author

@ Aaron, don't hold on. Just let it be! If something has to happen, it will. You cannot control how things would turn out, especially when it is not in your hands, but his. You are not a disaster, trust me! Just calm down and get busy with other things you are passionate about - a hobby perhaps, anything - to get your mind off this person for the time being!!

@ Jess, no - you aren't being delirious at all. As you might have read in the comments above, a lot of people have felt the exact same way as you, so its normal - don't worry!! See how it goes when the two of you meet. I hope this story has a happy ending - best of luck!!


Jess26 4 years ago

I just came across this. Wondering if I was crazy or not.... lol. Anyway, I didn't read ALL the comments (so many!) but maybe there's a similar situation above.

Recently, I started talking to a guy through Match.com. He's amazing. We know so much about each other already. The problem is he's in Afghanistan with the Army until late April 2012. We have so much in common and when he gets back he'll only be 45 mins away or so. The best part is, he hasn't pushed for sexy pics or anything risque, which is what turns me off automatically. He tells me I'm beautiful (via pics) and I think he's really good looking. I'm nervous we will lose contact, but hopeful that we will stick it out. I miss him all the time and look forward to talking to him every day. Am I being delirious? My friends think I'm crazy, but I'm really hopeful. We will meet in about 4 months and I can't help but think it will be the longest 4 months of my life. Thoughts? Comments? Concerns?


Aaron 5 years ago

srry for posting so much, but what happened was i had like a bipolar episode and i was unaware until today that i had it and he told me before we stopped talking he really wanted to date and i let him know why all the crazy stuff happened but he nvr got back to me and i know im holding on to something i shouldn't but i cant get him out of my head i feel like someone close to me has died and i cant even explain how its possible that i feel this way about someone i never even met. Is there any hope for a disaster like me?


cilla 5 years ago

okay ,thank you for the advise ,i guess i enjoy the attention but i'll see how meeting him goes but we still currently argue everyday over stupid things.


LX 5 years ago

Yes, it is possible. If it's the right person for you and you spend enough time together getting to know each other, it can definitely happen.

I never expected to fall in love with someone I've never met- but I did and I still am. He is the love of my life.. I just know it. He wants to marry me and I want the same too. I just wonder how everything will turn out but I'm hoping for the best.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 5 years ago Author

@ Aaron, if that's how it has to be, then let it be! You had to express your feelings some time and if the other person doesn't share your feelings, then its best you don't live under a false illusion. I believe in the saying, "whatever happens, happens for the best," even though at the time it happens, it seems like the worst thing that could ever happen. So, don't feel too despondent. You'd find someone better!!

@ Cilla, I'd seriously advise you to slow down. What's the hurry? You are quite young and so is he and its just been a month. You don't know this guy yet. You may disagree, but that's the fact. You cannot know a person in one month in normal circumstances, but you haven't met yet, so do you think you know him well just by texting him for a month. Nah, even though you may think you do, you don't.

Give it some time, get to know him better. You are taking great leaps here by contemplating getting physical and what have you. He's lied to you and has not accepted that he lied to you, from what you state. How can you trust someone like that. You seriously need to give this some time so you get to know him better and get to know if he's the sort of person you'd want to be getting involved with!!

I know I am not telling you what you want to hear and I am sorry about that, but I cannot help but tell you what I feel is right for you. The decision of course is yours - I just hope you make the right one! Best of luck!!


Aaron 5 years ago

I messed it all up already. Yesterday i began to express the way ive been feeling and then i got nothing back but short one worded responses so its over. I'm a train wreck that's damaged beyond repair.


Cilla 5 years ago

hi ,im 16 and i go on chat roulette a lot and suprisingly there are some nice guys on there and i found one about 4 -5 weeks ago ,he just turned 18 in november and it started off as friends then we were texting each other everyday all day and he finally asked me to be his girlfriend and we are still together and have been together for about a month now,he is very sweet and compliments me a lot and didn't ask anything sexual for a while ,we talk on the phone most days of the week ,skype and text a ridiculous amount and the only time we are not texting is after we say goodnight to each other everyday and he gets upset if i dont text him back after an hour and i feel the same and miss talking to him.however there have been some issue's like he lied to me about not having facebook and i found him and asked him about it and he still denied it .he then accepted me and shortly after deleted his facebook ,also he has a short temper and is paranoid because he was cheated on by his first serious girlfriend and he also gets high every day which makes it worse.But for some reason even though he accuses me of stupid things and we have stupid little fights everyday ,i cant seem to let him go ,2 weeks ago i dumped him for less than an hour and text him back saying sorry and he still took me back .He tells me he loves me everyday and i feel the same way .He makes me happy :)im addicted to texting him he is always on my mind and hearing all this is so amazing because im very naïve and i thought i was being stupid feeling this way. he lives in scotland and i live in the midlands of england near bristol and it takes 5 hours by train and 1 hour by plain but luckily my uncle lives in scotland in edinburgh where he lives and me and my dad and sister are spending two weeks there for christmas and newyear and me and him plan to meet up ,im sooo excited :D we also plan to have sex during my visit ,because we both want to and we both lost our virginity this year to our first love's and i love him so much im on the PILL for him but my dad doesn't know i will be meeting him so i'll have to think of excuses whilst in scotland to see him .Wish me luck !i hope our connection is the same in person.

do you think im doing the right thing ?


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 5 years ago Author

@ Aaron, give it some time and develop your friendship with this person and get to know this person better. I am not sure why you use the word "them" or "they," since that would suggest there are multiple people involved here, but I assume that's just a mistake and you mean just one person. Regardless, you will just have to wait and see how this goes along. As I said, you will just have to get to know this person better and see whether you continue to feel the same way going forward. You can share your feelings perhaps a bit later into this!! Thank you, Aaron, for sharing your story!!

@ sheherazade, I wonder whether he feels the same way about you, as you so clearly feel about him. Only you'd know the answer to that, as you haven't touched upon that in your comment! Even if you don't know the answer to that one, it is obvious that you are going through much agony wondering.

I would just suggest you to bite the bullet and share your true feelings with him. I know you'd be anxious about doing this, as it may change the friendship you have now, but as you pointed out "until when" will this go on?

I am sure you need some sort of closure to this endless wondering and the only way that would happen is when you share your true feelings with him and get a definitive answer to whether he has feelings for you the same way, as you do! Best of luck! Thanks, sheherazade, for sharing your story!!


sheherazade 5 years ago

I am truly sure that a person can fall in love with someone he/she had never met in person. Based on my personal experience, I been communicating online a guy for about seven years via e-mail. And I admit I am deeply in love with him. For me it is a struggle because no matter how I try I can't forget him. I know it's weird. I know it is not normal but it happened to me. For that long years I never see his photos nor chatted him... just a pure e-mail. But all of our conversations are deep and true. We have so much in common when it comes to life values and insights. We confided our inner most feelings. We comforted each other when we both experience the odds of life. The problem is we never had a chance to meet in person for that long years of communication online. Honestly, I am so much affected because until now I been hoping and waiting for him. I tried to date other guys online but all of those never work out for one reason. I cannot forget him. I would say he really rocks my world. He is always in my thoughts every moment in my life. No matter how busy I am at work he is always flashing in my mind. There were times, I stop communicating with him for a year but still I cannot forget him until one day he sent me a letter asking me to write him again. Until now we are still connected. But still I am wondering about the situation. I am thinking, until when we will do like this? I know for sure about myself that I am truly fallen for him. And loving him is always a feeling of my endless agony. That is why, I always believe that fallen in love has no limit. It happened sometimes in a mysterious way.

Anyways, I appreciate any suggestion on what to do about my situation.


Aaron 5 years ago

I, think i'm falling for someone i haven't met and it kind of scares me because we talk about meet all the time but we never do. we have been talking for 3 months now but we txt eachother several times a day and when we talk on the phone its for hours with no awkwardness. I think of them all the time we both have a few nicknames for eachother and sometimes they get busy and cant text back for a while or there phones silent so they dont check and i get upset for some reason and i'm not sure what to do i haven't told them and im not sure if they feel that way or where we even stand at this point because sometimes it seems like we are just txting pals and others they'll say they want to invest in me and they feel good when they talk to me and they like it and they like me for me and we've shared many photos from clothed to well you get it lol. So how do i handle this im confused with mixed feelings?


MarcusJ 5 years ago

I met a girl online and we started talking for about a couple of days. She was/is highly in love with me and wanted to be with me forever. However she has a dark past of being abused, used and not being loved. In addition, I think that she also has a mania love style, since she told me that she loves me 2 days afterwards. I thought she was over her baggage and wanted to come visit me early next week. Because she decided to change her mind and her past she started blaming things on herself and began contemplating suicide. I tried so hard to help her but we can you do when you are just online. The difficult part was that she was doing this at her job, yelling and screaming. Fortunately, nothing happened and tomorrow she is going to rehab to get better. While I thought about taking a risk, I see that this girl has a lot of baggage to deal with. I have dealt with a girl like her in the past and broke up with her because that is just too much stress in my life that I want to carry. I really hope that she does get better and I told her that I will be there to support her because it is gonna be rough for her. She will be there for about 3 months. I am still wanting to give it a shot but my better half is telling me to let it go and just wish her the best.

I think you can fall in love with someone you have not met but I think it can depend on a persons past. In this example, she has been hurt and suicidal so its hard to meet someone like that. I hope there are people out there who have been through this situation to know that it is difficult. Sometimes it can be better to go to the bar/store and meet someone and maybe not. I just wish her the best regardless of what I do.


lea 5 years ago

Despite having not met that person, i have this strong feeling from my heart saying he is the one that i have been waiting for..There were times when i felt that i should be more realistic about the situation..but deep within myself/from the level of my soul, i always get the confidence to make it work and be positive..some way or the other, there were signs which showed me the way and made me feel that i am doing the right thing..There are so many guys around me (net, every day life)but this one,i feel a deeper connection from the start..so much feelings involved here, its wonderful when I let myself flow with this rythm of ‘love’.I want to hug him and say we will make it happen..if ever things change when we meet or along the way..no regrets at all, I have felt the most beautiful feelings ever, evolve in a good way as well. if ever there is strong doubts, fear ...then it might not be wise to continue..but if its been a positive response all the way, why not...every relationship starts somewhere, internet, through friends , just be patient about it, give yourself time to know each other..getting to know each other is a life long process .


Volker Bause 5 years ago

In my opinion it depends on your definition of love! Feeling that you are in love is not by any stretch the real thing! If in doubt, look up what true love is all about and then try matching it all up with an online relationship!

In my personal opinion your chances of truly falling in love online are no better than doing so in person. It is possible but true love can only be established / proven in person as only then can you establish certain aspects of a person that really matter. Loving a person based on things a person writes or tells you may or may not be revealing. They say a picture is worth a million words and in terms of love this rings especially true. If ever you want to establish true love, you have to meet an apparent lover in person.

Ask me! I have had my experiences in the last 6 months and I am a quick learner.I so many here, I have been ignorant at first. Call it a matter of inexperience. I find it absolutely ridiculous if not insane today to think that you can truly love a person without having met them in person. There is no way electronic communication media can ever replace the physical touch or feelings when meeting somebody in person. That's just the way it is!You can take my word for it! Falling in love with a person online is like reading 99% of a book and based on that deciding that you already know the end (i.e. The remaining 1%). That 1% may sound insignificant but in terms of any relationship can make or break it. I mean, did the prince get his princess or not and vice versa and did they live happily ever after. It's the fine details that matter.

Just an example - You meet someone and they are so wonderful. Suddenly that person gets arrested and you have to find out that person is a serial killer! Doesn't that void the other 99% you know and learned to love about that person. That's just one example! True life isn't that much different but it gives you a better chance based on certain natural instincts which get blotted out by electronic communications.

Just think about it!


moonlake profile image

moonlake 5 years ago from America

No I don't think you can. I think you can become friends but the love won't come until you meet that person. I don't think you fall in love at first sight either. I think you may be attracted to a person at first sight but love comes later it may not take long but it is later.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 5 years ago Author

Chantal, defining love is tough at the best of times. However, there is no arguing the fact that you have felt a deep sense of attachment to this man. It is obvious to me that you started imagining a future with him and so it is not beyond the realm of possibility that you could have fallen for him. Yes, you had very little to go on, but the little that you did see in him, impressed you enough to see him as a potential partner. Would you have mourned or cried if you lost a friend? Perhaps, not, or certainly not as much as you seemed to. So, the answer to your first question would be a Yes, it is possible that you may have fallen in love with him.

As to your second question, often times, we make ourselves believe that we know what the other person is feeling. This is especially true when it comes to love. Even if the other person doesn't feel to the extent that we feel, we often try to convince ourselves that they do feel the same way. We clutch at straws in such situations - pick up on the small things and make ourselves believe that those are signs of him feeling the same way. The reality may not match up to those beliefs. It is quite possible that he did not share the level of intensity of feelings you felt.

Certainly, from the things you've shared, there is not much to indicate that he shared the depth of feelings that you had for him. His wishing to travel to see you may not mean that he has any romantic leanings - perhaps, he just wanted to get out of his surroundings, which probably are depressing to him. There is no way to know for sure.

It is also possible that he may not have wanted to pursue something more with you, reason why he chose to stop communicating with you. If these questions still trouble you, then you may need to talk to him in person, to put all of this behind you and move on. That's a call you need to make. If you can move on now, you should in my opinion. If you want to explore what went on in his mind and whether he felt anything at all and has reasons to not pursue anything further with you, you will only know if you talk to him. whether that is worth it for you - you need to decide!!

My best wishes are with you Chantal. Thank you for sharing your story - I hope you find the love you so deserve!!


chantal 5 years ago

hi there-i have a bit of a complicated thing-im trying to figure things out-i don't know at all what to do-

25 years ago in highschool-i had an acquaintance-i can't say we were really friends but we did run in the same circles back in the day-our group of friends had taken him to his ferry boat when he was moving away-

not long after he moved away-a rumor surfaced that painted a terrible picture of him-and i have oft wondered over the years if there was any truth to this rumor-

this past september i saw him floating around on facebook and it was my first indication that what we had heard of him was just that-a rumor-

we reconnected via fb-well in affect we became real friends for the first time-since he was merely an acquaintance back then-

we talked for about a month via facebook and eventually ended up texting each other-i began to find myself so impressed and amazed at his demeanor-during all of our time texting he was never ever inappropriate-never sexual-just so refreshing-granted as a man-he is of few words-but never minded my incessant peppering him of questions-said he didn't mind that he was an open book-his words

the rumor we had heard of him back in the day though untrue-was fabricated out of a real trauma that he experienced at that time-my heart breaks for him just to think about it

about three weeks ago there was an incident-where he nearly died-there was an accident-as a result of his drinking too much-he had fallen into freezing water and once he had pulled himself out of the water he passed out in the freezing winter air-spent the following day hospitalized and was consequently given a week off of work-

we had a lot of good talks after that-he didn't really open up very much-i think he feared it-he flat out told me he really didn't want to 'go there' with me and i just told him well im here if you ever want to talk-he later talked a little bit about stressors and such

during all this time we never ever ever said a romantic word to each other-all of this took place under the guise of friendship only-

prior to the 'incident' he had been initiating our texts and had even taken to send me photos of what he was doing in his day-such as the beautiful scenery where he had been fishing-

im sorry this is long winded-im just so out of sorts right now and i need insight-

i am very big on being 'encouraging' to people-and i found this man to be an incredible father-doting-beautiful-as well as how he related to me-in a totally gentlemanly way-as far as keeping our conversations pure and not trying to steer them (it seems every other man i have occasion to talk to always tries to steer conversations)

so i told him what i thought-i told him that his text msgs had become the best part of my day

a little later in the conversation-he said this to me "i wish i had the money to move there-i would tomorrow just to get out of here and see you"

this was the first concrete indication that his heart might be feeling something (mine was already feeling it but i was keeping it as neutral as i could-concentrating on valuing him as a man and a friend)

the next day he had been gone with his father so we didn't talk much-i told him i dind't want to bother him while he was with his dad-and during that day i did a lot of soul searching-because to me it was kinda out in the open now-that there was something real potentially developing between us-

he lives 5000kms away from me-and i feel that when your relationship develops this way its easy to be in love with an idea-so i decided that i needed to see him-unfortunately we never got to have that conversation-

the next morning i texted him and asked him if he was still sleeping-he said nope you? i told him no i had been up since whatever time-i asked him if his dad was still there and he said 'no i am driving' to which i responded 'oh sorry, do you want to text me when you get where you're goin then? and i never heard from him again-that was 14 days ago-

i have sent him about six msgs in those 14 days-and i finally cracked and emailed his sister because i just needed to know he was still alive-although finding out he was has added a little more heartbreak to the story-it means he has chosen to abruptly end this so to speak...we never did have the conversation about me going to see him-

i feel bad for having 'meddled' and emailed his sister-but i was going bananas not knowing if he was ok

my questions are this-can i possibly be in love with someone in such a short time with so little to go on? i have been crying every day and i mourn the 'loss' of our contact

does it sound like he was feeling something also or am i making that up in my head?

should i just walk away now?


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 5 years ago Author

Kristin, am happy that you say that you've checked and have reassured yourself about him being who he says he is.

The only thing left to say is that I wish you the very best and hope that you find true and lasting love :)


Kristin 5 years ago

I’m not concerned he isn’t who he says he is. You really cannot fake a year and three months of knowing someone. There would be some type of slip up, something that doesn’t add up, and except for him not wanting to give me personal information, he’s given me no reason not to believe him. I think a lot of it has to do with him not wanting to become more addicted to me in ways more than IMing, and if he were really hiding something, he would make up this personal information and do everything he could to make it look like he was, in fact, not hiding something. I also suspect that he doesn’t want to give me anything too personal in fear of us ending badly and me seeking him out. I’ve also seen his personal accounts on different websites when he has not known I could see them, and talked to people he has met online without him knowing. He can send me pictures of himself, things or places he’s at whenever I ask. Basically, it is impossible to fake something as complex as a relationship in which you are communicating all day, every day. I do understand what you’re saying, but it really is not a concern at all.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 5 years ago Author

Kristin, I can only hope that things work out well for you. Do get to know him a bit better in terms of a video of himself, a bit of reliable background information about who he is and what he does, etc., assuming that you don't know as of now. Taking it day by day is the only thing you can do for now, since he doesn't seem to know how to define your relationship, or what he wants out of this. Get to know him as much as you can and encourage him to video you. Often times, people you meet online aren't really who they tell they are. I am not saying this is the case here, but you cannot rule it out altogether. His reluctance to show himself worries me honestly, considering it has been quite a while since you met him. Do be a bit cautious about that aspect and try to make him show himself up, I don't see a good reason for him hiding from you!!


Kristin 5 years ago

In August of 2010, I met someone on the chat site, Omegle. Omegle is completely random, and pairs two online users for a private chat. We started talking and after awhile exchanged MSN contacts. Soon after, I found myself staying up late to talk to him until he fell asleep and rushing home just to get to my computer to see if he was online. He lives in the Caribbean, and I live in the Midwest US. His international calling/texting is blocked, so we could not text. A month or two later, I bought a Blackberry, which allowed me to talk to him on MSN on my phone. From then on we IMed every chance we got. We would flirt, but it wasn’t until a few months after meeting we both confessed having true feelings for each other. Almost exactly six months after meeting, we told each other we loved each other. Though he told me he was trying to find a way to tell me he loved me long before that. Being 17 at the time, I had never been in love before and did not want to tell him I loved him before I was absolutely certain. We were both scared, as well. We didn’t want to admit we were in love with each other, because it’s so damn complicated. Now, my relationship is not the same as most long distance relationships. He refuses to video me, call me, or even tell me his last name. He refuses to video me because he had a long distance relationship before, and being addicted to videoing his ex brought on a lot of problems. I couldn’t tell you the reason for him not wanting to speak on the phone or tell me his last name, because I honestly do not know. He has his own reasons, and he is very stubborn. Another thing is that he will not agree to meet me, and he does not want to get married. He does not want to meet me because he knows he’ll fall harder for me and be unable to let me go in the future when things get too complicated for either of us to be happy. He also fully believes I will find someone better for me than he is, knowing that I want to be married and live my dreams. All of this troubled me for a long time, and still does. I have tried leaving him numerous times, and him as well. We both know it is best to stop talking, however, the longest we’ve gone without communication is one week. We also tried talking as if we we’re only friends, but it always fails. It always leads to how we feel about the other. We also both have had significant others in the year and three months we’ve been talking. He had a girlfriend for about six months or so, until she moved to Europe and they broke up. It absolutely tore me to pieces to watch him love her, but I knew he wasn’t happy at the time not having someone to love that was there with him, so I let him love her. In an attempt to lose my feelings for him and move on with my life, I started dating someone quite some time after he broke up with her. At first, we tried to just be friends while I dated him, but like I said, that never works with us. So technically, we both cheated on our significant others with each other, just not physically. I only dated my other significant other for three weeks, and a few weeks after he broke up with me, we both agreed to be in a relationship where we do not see other people, which is where we are now. Right now, he is my alarm every morning. He wakes me up with IMs, and we IM literally every chance we get. We talk all day, every day. At night, he sleeps much more than I do, so every night he falls asleep during our conversations. As I’m typing this, he’s sleeping and I am still awake. He fell asleep two and a half hours ago. Sometimes he will wake up in the middle of the night and IM me and wake me up, and we’ll stay up for awhile to talk until one of us falls asleep. We never get bored of talking to each other, and I’ve been asked many times how I can talk to him so much. I don’t know how or why, but he can make me feel more than anybody else I’ve ever been with. My family does not know I am in love with him. They have suspected I like him, as they know his name and that I talk to him a lot. Only a select few people know our true relationship, because most do not understand it at all. I honestly do not know how we will work out, or what our future will bring. All I know is that it kills me to lose him, and every new person I meet only makes me fall more in love him. I don’t know what the future will bring, so I’m just taking it day by day, which is the only thing I can do.


LDN 5 years ago

In 2 weeks time, I'm flying from Heathrow to Washington DC to meet a man that I met online.

Maybe it's crazy, maybe it's fate, but if you never take a chance you'll never know the outcome.

I hope you all find true love and happiness guys :) x


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 5 years ago Author

You are welcome, 'finallyinlove.' Am so glad that things are clearer to you now. He will understand for sure, don't worry on that! As long as you are honest, he should see things from your point of view and be understanding of it. Once again, was only too happy to take time to help you out. Was my pleasure - thanks again for sharing your story! I wish you the very best :)


finallyinlove 5 years ago

Thank you so much.. I've already read your reply no less than ten times and I feel like I'm finally getting to know more about myself and how I feel about him. My head seems a lot clearer and not to forget, lighter than before. Thanks loads.

You're absolutely right. It's high time I prepare myself to face the music. I need to tell him how I feel. It won't be fair to him if i don't. Even after my pathetic behaviour, he never gave up on me. Surely that proves more that any other act on his part. His height was never ever an issue for me and nor is it the defining factor that'll lead me towards or away from him. I'm sure he hates me sometimes for being so indecisive but I couldn't jump in and say Yes. I needed time and now that I've thought I feel like i should give us a shot. I'm still not mentally prepared for a relationship, i have my reasons for that, but he will understand If i share. I hope he does. Thanks heaps for your time. Means a lot.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 5 years ago Author

Hi 'finallyinlove,' just wanted to add that if you are serious about him and have realized that you are in fact in love and it is not just a crush or "passing fancy," then just tell him you want to talk frankly and honestly about something and proceed to tell him how you really feel.

As I said before, don't worry about how you sound and come across, just be free and frank. It is just being fair to him - to let him know what he can expect and to explain your point of view, of how you see this relationship. I am sure he'd be happy to wait for you, if he knows that you too love him, and understands your reasoning of how you feel about the two of you!!


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 5 years ago Author

Well, 'finallyinlove,' I am not surprised you are totally confused. A couple of things strike me. The first being, you say that being in a relationship is (in your words) - "against my principles." So, would that mean that you don't see yourself being in a relationship with this guy ever? Assuming that you just want him to be friends with you and nothing more, then that feeling should be shared by him too, which I am not sure he does. He has told you he loves you and so he'd expect more than just friendship out of this relationship. His being insecure about his height, etc. is normal and is also another indication that he sees you both in a relationship beyond just being friends.

The second thing that interested me is where you said "don't want him to wander off and look for other alternatives." Now, you would need to ask yourself as to why you don't want him to look for other options? Wanting a friend to be near to you is understandable and so the first part is a natural feeling. You want your friend not to wander off, but why shouldn't he look for other alternatives, especially when you don't foresee a relationship between the two of you - as it is (in your own words) against your principle? Could it be that you want him to be just yours and no one else's, in which case - you do love him, perhaps as much as he loves you?

So, assuming that to be the truth, you need to ask yourself why being in a relationship is against your principles? Only you know the answer to that and so you need to evaluate if sticking to that line is important to you. You need to evaluate this because this is a two-way street. His views and feelings would matter equally. So, if you want him to "Wait for the right time," then you need to be frank with him (totally frank) and let him know exactly what he can expect? For example, if he sees a future where the two of you are in a deep and loving relationship, would you share that? Since you said that you are prone to "crushes and passing fancies," you'd need to answer (in your own mind and tell him) whether you look at this relationship as a crush or fancy, than something more tangible and lasting?

Obviously, you won't have all the answers to your questions right now, but you need to think about it some and find some answers, so the two of you can have a frank discussion about what you expect of each other and what really is the kind of relationship that you both are looking for? Don't worry about how you sound - whether mushy or not - what matters is that you do talk and tell him really what you feel.


finallyinlove 5 years ago

I dropped in because i just need to know the answers to my questions. I read through all of the stuff that you've and then the comments too. I like the way you're advising people because you're keeping the realism attached to it. I would love to get some advice from you. It's not like I'm in a huge mess but I'm totally confused. I'd appreciate help of any kind.

I've known a guy since the past five years. We live in the same country but in cities that are miles apart. We started of as just friends. That went on for 3 years! We know each other but i wouldn't say inside out as he is not really a talk talk talk kinda guy and has to be pressed for info. Meanwhile we lived our respective lives. I'm the kind who hates being in a relationship. I just cannot accept the idea of it but I'm totally prone to crushes and passing fancies. All of which i shared with my online best friend. Just early this year, he decided he might be falling for me. When he told me he loved me, i said thank you. I took none of that seriously but then he wanted to know if i had feelings for him or not. That's Where the trouble started from. He's kinda on the short side. Probably a few inches shorter than me. This thing NEVER bothered me cause i thought it never bothered him. But when he told me he liked me more than just a friend and when he realized i might fall for him too, That's the point when i got to know just how insecure he was. He told me he's really short and that would i like him if i see him. I'm ashamed to say that freaked out and handled it horribly. I bailed out and said lets just be friends and nothing else. That hurt him a lot.. I could tell But nevertheless, we never broke off cause we actually valued our friendship. Now the thing is, I've finally realized that he's nice and most importantly.. He makes me happy. I still cannot be in a relationship cause That's against my principles but i also don't want him to wander off and look for other alternatives. I love him. Don't want to lose him. But i don't know how to tell him that he means a lot to me. I want us to Wait for the right time and i know he would too. But i don't know how to tell him all that. I'm so bad at being all mushy and senti that i fear he'd never know how i feel about him!


joseph 5 years ago

yeah it is possible i had an experience with a girl too on 2go , and i broke up the relationship out of fear of what could come out of us, she cried and i felt sorry for hurting her


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 5 years ago Author

Anon, take it one step at a time. First, develop a strong friendship and see if she feels the same way about you. She needs to tell you that eventually. Moving to meet her can wait a while. After all, you need to test this relationship and define it first, as to what it is, whether friendship or love - from her perspective as well!!


Anon 5 years ago

What i ment by strong enough connection is if i were to move to her country to be with her an it not to be weird.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 5 years ago Author

Well, Anon, you can't be really sure of how she feels about you at this stage, unless she tells you. For the time being, it would be good to concentrate on strengthening your friendship and getting to know each other better.

As you both are still young, if your frienship can stand the test of time, then may be when you do meet in person eventually you both would really know what you really want from each other.

If she's unsure about her feelings for you - whether it be friendship or something beyond - the time until you meet would give her some space to come to a conclusion in her own mind about what she thinks of you as!!

A week or two is not enough time to develop a strong friendship or relationship. Give it more time and just focus on the friendship for now and try being a good friend to her and hope for the best!!


anon 5 years ago

Let me Start of by saying I am 16(17 early next year) and the girl I love is 17(18 in a few days) but she is basicaly only 1 year older than me.

Ok so I met this girl about 9 months ago an a political chat(we share the a lot of the same views and finding someone who does is very important to us both). We just talked about certain issues ect made a few jokes pretty caual for a while. Until I started getting more interested in her personality and began talking about each others problems and feelings. This went on for a few months and we began to get really close and we consider each other friends. Now we i live in Canada and she lives in eastern europe, we both planned to meet in ireland last some but due to problems I couldn't make it so we will be meeting next year. Now we haven't said anything to each other about how we feel other than saying we really trust each other and consider each other a friend but I think maybe she has feelings for me but i am not sure. she is currently living ireland now but she is going to goto univirsity in her home country(which I am not fluent in her language) while i will still have another year of school left befor i can have a stable relationship. I plan to meet her this summer for a week or so, the thing is I dont know if she has feelings for me and I dont want to ruin are friendship but at the same time she is the only girl I ever really wanted to be with, when I see attractive looking girls walk down the street i don't really pay attention to them as much as befor I had feelings for her. I think about her every single day and find myself wondering what she is doing when I am not talking to her. So I am not sure what to do, if I should stay friends or if she doesn't have feelings towards me besides being a friend is a week or 2 enough time to devlope a connection that would be strong enough for her to wait a whole year for me?


soinlove! 5 years ago

I have fallen in love with someone that I haven't met in person yet too. He is a friend of my brother's and we were brought together by me calling my brother at his job to try to reach him. We became friends on Facebook and we both have struggled with our feelings for at least a year not wanting to trust what we felt because it is so unconventional. We will finally meet in person in 10 days and I don't think I have ever felt so in love before...he tells me that he loves me all the time...we are both intelligent people with good careers...Stay tuned!


jasminew247 5 years ago

I'm getitguyswagg32's girlfriend we have been together 15 months. I love him with all my heart. we started talking to each other one night off livelinks, without seeing even a picture of each other. The vibe was so strong and the conversations were and still are amazing. We talk for hours on end about any and everything although we have yet to see each other, remain close to one another. He is a wonderful person very sweet and kind hearted, I have never ever felt like this about anybody. We have made arrangements to see one another very soon I'm very excited he completes me I feel as if we are meant for one another wish me luck and to answer the question I. Really do believe that you can fall in love with someone you have never met


love234 5 years ago

I have fallen in love with someone I haven't met yet. Me and him say we love each other everyday. We text and talk on the phone all the time. We haven't seen each other yet, but we have made plans on when we are going to meet. We been together for 3 weeks now. and I feel he is the one for me.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 5 years ago Author

Sare, thank you for sharing your story! I understand your dilemma. Telling him would not be a good idea in my opinion, at least not at this stage. From what you've stated, there are enough indications in his reactions to say that he is not sure of what he really wants with this friendship that he has with you.

As in, whether he just wants this relationship to remain in the domain of friendship, or whether he wants it to progress to something more. Perhaps, he has a girlfriend currently, or is interested in someone living close by to him. May be that's why he is reluctant to think like you do. It is difficult to say!!

Could also be that he wonders how viable a long-distance relationship can be and is just unsure whether he is ready for it at this stage. It would be good for you to be patient and build upon your friendship now. He may eventually be able to see clearly what he really wants from this relationship and perhaps would make the first move then.

Of course, you may consider telling him as well, but personally, I feel that you should maintain the friendship now and deepen it by keeping in touch constantly!! You may drop some hints as he does in the meantime, so he wonders as well like you are doing now! Thanks again for sharing your story. Would love to hear from you on how things go between the two of you!!


sare 5 years ago

I'm so glad I found this page with so many personal experiences on here. I'll share my own (sorry it's so long), as I'm not entirely sure what to do...

A year ago I joined a roleplaying community on FanFiction. There was only one guy in the group, and after a few months we added each other on Facebook, and became really good friends. Ever since, there has been maybe two or three days where we haven't spent hours talking. The first thing I do when I wake up is go on MSN on my phone and we talk until he goes to bed (as he's from America and I'm from Australia, that's usually around 2PM my time.) This month we started using the webcam and it was amazing to be finally talking face-to-face.

We're engaged on Facebook as a practical joke but we often refer to each other as our "foreign fiancé" or boyfriend/girlfriend anyway, and often joke about me moving over there and us getting two Irish wolfhounds that will be bigger than me (I'm really short and he's really tall). He's always complimenting me and being protective (like offering to beat people up for me), saying really cheesy pick-up lines, and telling me about places in his town that he knows I'd love and implying that he wants to take me there. We get on so well and are so amazingly comfortable with each other, and we can pretty much tell each other anything, despite our differences (eg. We have different religious views, I'm a vegetarian and we hate each other's music). A few times he's said he loves me, but I'm really not sure if he was joking or not (like how we joke about moving and the dogs). He also let slip a couple of weeks ago that he'd been looking up height differences in couples (we're well over a foot difference and he often jokes about picking me up and carrying me). I can tell there is a lot there, and he acts and speaks like he has feelings for me, and I know I have really strong feelings for him. Despite all this, though, we are still under the " just friends" label.

A while ago I casually brought up the whole long-distance relationship thing, and he said he didn't want to have a girlfriend so far away. To be quite honest though I don't know if he was putting up a front (because he calls me his girlfriend sometimes anyway, and certainly flirts enough and makes enough quips about us being a cliché romance movie) or if he was serious.

We talk about visiting a lot, but he's stated that he doesn't want me visiting until he gets his license (next July) so that he can drive me places, and today he said he probably wouldn't be getting his license when he could. I don't know if he's just trying to be polite in saying "Don't come over." If he doesn't want me to visit I don't see why he talks about me visiting so often, (and he talks about visiting me too (although it's less likely due to finanical reasons) and says I've got to show him places here too) but he doesn't seem to be that keen on the idea when confronted with it.

I seriously don't know what to do. Everyone who knows me knows how much he means to me. I don't know if I should just tell him how I feel and flat-out ask him what his intentions are, but I don't want to risk losing the friendship we have; I wouldn't be able to stand it if I lost him.


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Shil1978 5 years ago Author

MelGar, well, it is hard to say whether what you both felt was love or not, but what is obvious is that you are torn between what you feel is your ‘obligation’ to your dad and what your heart says to you.

Personally, I think there is no harm at all in maintaining contact with this guy, so long as you don’t rush into anything at this stage. You can get to know him better and then decide on further steps as you go along gradually.

You feel the ‘ache’ because you think you are doing wrong in some way – as you are doing this without your “dad’s knowledge” as you put it. You don’t have to feel guilty at all. You can do justice to your academics and maintain friendship with this person, both at the same time, without affecting either.

If the guy truly loves you, he’d wait for you and understand. Just share what you truly feel and explain your viewpoint to him so he knows what he can expect – if he’s looking for a long-term relationship.

getitguyswagg32, thanks for sharing your story! I wish you the very best of luck. Do keep us posted!!

Thanks to all the others who’ve taken the time to comment and share their stories – I do appreciate your doing so!!


getitguyswagg32 5 years ago

i think its definitely possible haa im a tru testament. i've been in an relationship for the last 15 months with a woman i think the world of. we live in the same state but about an hours drive away. we talk everyday and night and text when were not talking. i feel more connected to her then any woman ever, and we always speak of our future together marriage and building a family. we've ezchanged picx discussed personal physial flaws about ourselves to each other and we are both ok with each others appearance. i think she is the most beautiful woman inside and out. weve developed this bond that is deep and unyeilding & i honestly think she is THE ONE! I truly feel blessed to have her in my life. As i plan to finally meet within the next month to start the next chapter together! wish me luck :)


MelGar 5 years ago

I met a guy while I was overseas, he was just another acquaintance... he and i started chatting when I got back home, and have fallen in love with each other. We met about 3 and a half years ago now. I am 22 years old, I love him a lot. But my Dad has told me a thousand times not to call, text, message him on Yahoo IM but I still have up until about 3 weeks ago when I said I couldn't do it anymore and said we had to stop talking. I am also still studying for my degree, I know I have a moral obligation to do what my Dad says even though people may say I am over 18, but I still love this guy and he and I were heartbroken when I said we had to stop talking. He did not take it very well. Perhaps he and I need some space to think..? However I am very loathe to lose him, as I've done this before, quit talking to him and it hurt me but I thought it was the right thing to do, and I found out later he came to love another girl, but she turned him down for someone else. We got to talking again after that, without my Dad's knowledge, then yeah about a month ago I sorta split with him. We really loved each other and would message almost every minute of the day. He considered us in a relationship, but wanted me to keep it a secret from the whole world, from my parents, until we were ready to make serious steps... I believe I love him, because I still love him even at times when he is silent, and he says he still thought of me during the time I was silent to him... How do I handle this ache?... :(


woop 5 years ago

I make experimental videos on youtube, and one day I got a message from this guy who also makes videos on video. We talked about that, and it just turned in to something. I don't even know how! Skype is actually really realistic, and I go on with no makeup, frizzy hair and my glasses. We've managed to establish a connection and comforatability around eachother, online. He's currently taking a 3 day bus to meet me. I have so many things planned! I feel like barfing everytime I think of meeting him... I'm so nervous. I have no idea what I'll say. I love him, but we both don't want to say it over technology so we say "I laaaateay you" or something ahha. I googled this because I wanted some reasurrance, and I got it! I am 17, so my parents were freaking out about it at first but now they're all excited and having him for dinner :)


Mpat 5 years ago

i was on facebook one day when i got a friend request from a guy whom i didn't know but i thought he was an adorable so i accepted it, after about two months he wrote me and asked what's up? after that we have talked everyday for the past 5 months. and he lives like 45 min away but we never have time to see eachother we're always busy or working or in college. im crazy about him but im afraid he's going to use me for sex because he brings it up sometimes but we talk on the phone everynight. and text mainly all day. idk what to do because we are meeting soon, but i dont know why but i cant imagine talking to anyone else or anything. im CRAZY about him.


Jerryberry 5 years ago

I've fallen inlove with someone online he's a great guy and all but he has a lot of problems and when his problems overwhelm him he takes it out on me I don't know what to do because I want to be happy but I don't deserve to be treated like crap then here him crying please don't leave me -_- so can someone give me some helping advice please


Arvind 5 years ago

Love itself has some special feeling. unbelievable, extremely exciting which you never ever dreamed of.I feel in love with a girl online and we had shared our lives to full extent.We decided to marry each other in presence of our parents.Right now we are in that process. Hope we succeed.


Niklaus 5 years ago

Yes. It is possible. I met this amazing girl a year and a half ago. And I just now realized that I am in love with her. And we haven't met.


Melissa 5 years ago

I kinda 'met' this guy a couple of months ago - attended this concert and when I first set my eyes on him I got pretty attracted to him. It wasn't because of his looks or anything, but there is just this sense of attraction; kinda had this "I have to meet this guy" feeling. I managed to find his facebook, and have been trying to find ways/excuses to add him. I can't say that I'm making friends with him because I saw him at the concert; he may think that I'm stalkish since I managed to find his facebook page without any mutual friends!


andice 5 years ago

i think im in love with this woman we have not met yet but we talk on the phone evryday and evrynight she lives in the same state but no too close i really love her and i am going to do whatever i have to to keep her


destinyraine 5 years ago

I met a guy online march 2010 and we texted and in-boxed mostly, he saw video of me and i saw one of him, talked on phone several times not a lot i am shy and so is he, so texting n in-boxing on fb works best, he lives 2375.14 miles away he is in washington state and i am in indiana. after 6 months of talking nov.2,2010 til april 2011, i inboxed him on fb and said "i think i'm falling in love with you, please don't hate me for that" well his reply back was "i am seeing your words and think its wonderful, i always wanted someone to love me...so then we talked about meeting, well when we 1st became fb friends, i was still living with my ex he wasn't ex yet but 6yrs of alcoholism on his part, he drank til he passed out every night, well it killed my love for him, i just didn't realize how much i wanted someone without addictions until i met online guy was immediately attracted to him, but not by his looks totally he was alright, i wasn't like omg hes so good looking just oh he's kinda cute,but as soon as we finally started private inboxing 8months after we became fb friends then i knew he was kind of person i could talk to all day n night and i told him that and he said i know i feel the same way, well me n ex had broken up but he never moved out was going to but stayed well we had a one sided relationship anyway he loved his alcohol so our sex life was non existant cuz i couldn't stand the breath with sour alcohol on it and he got hateful n mouthy so i stayed up til he passed out, did that for lasr two yrs of relationship,asked him to quit drinking he wouldn't well internet guy doesn't drink wow dream guy there lol, ok a plus, well in april of this yr i told guy i would like to meet him in sept, yeah last month,well he said sounds like our plan and i said really? and he replied back "i consider u as my possible rest of my life" i was so surprised cause i felt the same way and so i replied back, "well i feel same way so we gotta meet in september then" and he said good you got it! well i had already moved out of bedroom n into my sons room and ex said he was moving out but not til his two week vacation in july i was like ok, cause we was trying to remain friends but he would get drunk and be abnoxious to me, so i never guy ex was still there but i had changed in relationship to single then its complicated when he never moved out but me n guy hadn't started talking yet, so when my status went from single to its complicated guy came to my wall made an arrow pointing to complicated and said isn't it always? and i said you don't even wanna know...he commented back ok, i guess lol omg i didn't know i was gonna fall inlove with him else i woulda inboxed him n just told him look me n ex broke up he was gonna move out but decided to wait i let him stay but moved out of bed so to speak, but i didn't feel like explaining everything to some guy i was just fb friends with we joked on each others walls but not serious til started inboxing months later...well i decided to just let ex move out when he said n not tell guy,so he wouldn't worry or wonder, well my sons wife found out i was talking to guy and when her n son broke up n he moved in with me cause he caught her cheating with neighbor,she decided to message guy as he wasn't private and told him ex was still there but she went beyond that and said he was my bf! as in we were together not sleeping separate...imagine my shoke at waking up going to his wall and his status said "WHAT YOUR BOYFRIEND DON'T KNOW WONT HURT HIM I GUESS" then he commented 3 times #1.i kno i've been there" ten min later #2.yeah i've been there... 20 min later#3. thus the reason i dont wanna be the bf no more.... I freaked out guess what i did? nuthing i never inboxed him texted nuthing i was so scared and didn't kno what to do but i loved him..2 days later he posted..."dontcha just hate it when you miss the one thing that is prolly the worst thing in the worls for ya?" so i inboxed him but i never mentioned the ex..was just so scared! long story short we continued talking but not as much then he deleted me month later so i inboxed him n told him ex was ex n wasn't sleepin with him, then i called three days later we talked for 40 min still,he never mentioned ex...we agreed we stil wanted to meet some day then we dwendled apart but it hurt cuz i missed him everyday think he did me too cuz he said bad girls have always been my down fall, but the one good girl i thought i found, was a bad girl in a cheap disguise...that broke my heart cuz i love him never wanted someone so bad and i always had bad boys too... well we started talkin again then in aug i told him he could come here sept 15th and i would get ticket as he is disabled n waiting on ssi another 6 months, he said ok well things happened and i couldn't get ticket but i never called cause i was so upset over things on my plate well then i text him the 16th n apologized n said the 30th or 1st of oct was getting ticket well my son was gonna help me with rent since he lived here since jan n never paid dime to bills well he moved back to ex as soon as his job called him back oh then his wife inboxed guy again with horrible lies, i dont kno what she said but he still wanted to come but i couldn't get ticket n just was so overwhelmed i didn't say anything so i text him the 30th was gonna explain but just sent normal hi how are ya tryin to figure out how to tell him, well he never text back but i went to his fb wall n he said "my girl aint feeling you calling or texting my phone so cease and dissest..destiny! i cried n cried n cried sent text tellin him he was like all guys soon as girl openned her legs they forget other one...yeah i was all bitter...hour later i calmed down n kinda apologized...well then i sent text couple days later sayin i knew he was just tryin to get me back n make me jealous..no reply but he said on his wall my girl just made me eat a bannana cuz im supposed too... then he posted couple days ago hes taking his lady to a concert for her b-day... then he posted to his status "if your as see through as plastic wrap and full of holes you cant even keep nuthing fresh..lmao! but every time we was getting along he played computer love by zap n rodger//or other love songs like love roller coaster...well i saw supposed girl liking everything on his wall well her info says interested in women just women not men, well around sept 21 he posted he was at bar with lesbian friends... and day before on 20thsept he posted " i am hating the world right now" then next day he went back to same post and said things are really getting better now...i know he loved me clear up til the 15thsept, cuz on the 12th he posted "i dont hate you its just your existance in my world is sucking the life right out of me..lol" then he posted ring phone ring...n his aunt said "i can make it ring but i wont say what you want to hear" omg i have such insecurities i didn't kno if he meant me so i didn't call i introverted...so how can i make this right? i love him i haven't went out with no one im not a cheat but it is so crazy but i know he loves me too do you think he moved on on the 20th with lesbian or is he trying to let me see how he felt? plz help lost with out him...


Upkar Kumar 5 years ago

I fell in love with a girl over internet. We used to talk almost regularly. I have not meet her personally. But suddenly she stopped coming over internet and now I don't know how to contact her. I don't even have her contact number.....I don't know how it all happen but still I love her. And still I think that someday I will surely meet her.I hope she is alright. Buddies please pray for my luv... :)


Alex 5 years ago

In my opinion, it is really weird to fall in love with a person who you've never met. I still prefer a personal or face-to-face relationship. We humans really have standards - physically, emotionally, spiritually and the likes.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 5 years ago Author

Hi 'Lost,'

The first thing I'd advise you is to be patient - as in not rushing in to profess your love/attachment to him. Does he feel the same way? Do you know? If you don't, then try to find out during your conversations, not directly but in an indirect manner. Some things to consider would be if he views you just as a fun person to chat with? Has he talked anything about loving you or wanting to come see you, anything that gave you an indication that he's just as seriously attached to you?

Knowing that aside, you do have a potentially troublesome problem in coming from a Muslim family. I'd assume that your parents would be orthodox, conservative and so would be your immediate Muslim community where you live. If you are working and independent, this may not be a big problem. However, if you are totally dependent on your parents and are quite young, consider how things could turn out - you'd know the answer to that the best! Can you bank on this guy to take care of everything that might result from the potential problems?

Also, regarding his professional background, are you sure he's all that he's told you about? You know sometimes we don't want to question or doubt the people we feel close to or love, but especially in an online environment, you absolutely need to be wary and need to be sure. I'd advise you that (if you two do meet) - that you seek to meet him at his place of work. That should ideally be your first meeting, assuming you decide to meet up personally. You need to be sure he's all that he says he is. Please do consider this a serious advice, as I've know of many guys online who pretend to be someone else professionally, but turn out to be something totally different.

You don't have to settle for an arranged marriage - that's honestly giving away your lifetime to a compromise. Your life and love should not be decided by others, but do ensure that the love you find is a true love and a love worth potentially losing your family. The last thing you'd want is to leave your family and find out the guy you left them for was worthless and not deserving of your love! Wish you all the best! Tread with caution and find the true love that you deserve! I hope I answered your question like a friend or sibling. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your story. I'd be interested in knowing how things turned out for you!!


Lost 5 years ago

Hi Shil ! I met this guy who lives about one hour drive away from me online on msn. I met him about eight months ago.

At first we didn't talk that much, though as the time progressed we talked more and more. For about the past two weeks we've stayed up till the early hours just to talk to each other.

He is a few years older than me but i must say, I think i'm falling for him really really hard. I have only loved one other guy before despite being in numerous relationships and that had lasted two years.

I really want to tell this guy how i feel but perhaps its just a likeness he feels for me ?

I'm the only contact he has on msn and even when he's busy he makes time to come online for me. He's quite a sexual person but then again so am I perhaps that's why we get along as we do. We have cammed and everything and he can easily come down to see me all i need to do is give him the thumbs up.

Hes quite a successful -an entrepreneur for quite a big bank - guy though not the type i ever go for, but I have the biggest feeling that this guy might just be THE ONE. However I am a muslim and my family are quite ... full of it you can say, they have high expectations of me and will never accept him because hes Catholic. If i do go with him, I'll have to leave my family - though its not much of a family, love is something that's only earned never just given- or I can leave him and go with what my family tells me to do which will eventually end up being an arranged marriage . . . I don't know what to do anymore . . . A guy i've known for nearly a year, I already love him as much as i've loved my family for as long as i've been alive.

If you could please reply to me not as a stranger but as a friend or even a sibling would be tremendously appreciated.

Hoping for the best, Lost.


cheli 5 years ago

hi, i met my "friend" thru online dating 2 months ago.He currently lives 500 miles away. I truly enjoy talking to this person - when we do talk. Its like once you start you never want it to end. He has truly captured my emotions. However cuz of the distand we do mostly texting. sometimes we go 3-4 days without any communication. We've spoken twice on the phone so far in deep length. i sense there is or could be a connection. but yet im skeptical about the whole long distance issue. I wonder is LDR truly worth it.I"ll continue to pray with the hopes we can meet one day...will keep you posted.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 5 years ago Author

You are welcome, Angel. Thanks to you too (and the many others) who've shared their experiences :)


angel26ify 5 years ago

Yes, I guess it is wuite possible. I met this man online on the internet and I chatted with him a lot. I really loved his perspective towards life and I started falling for him. I wasn't taking it that seriously in the starting, but once I started talking to him on the phone, I got to know him better and now Im in love with him. He's very true and the way he speaks and tells me everything about him is so much awesome. It's been 6 months now, and it's working out perfectly. We keep talking about what we'd do when we meet up. He wants us to be together. I don't find any other guy out here so different and true. He's the best I've ever had. Im dying to meet him and I know I will love him after we meet, we've already shared our pics and he says looks don't matter him much. I love him a lot and I wish I get to him soon enough. We've had small fights n between, but we always end up making up again. I don't forget him and he once while he was drunk, he started crying. He wants me just as bad. I talk to him everyday, and I know he won't disappoint me. Anyways, thank you Shil1978, I guess I got the answer I wanted to hear. Peace out! :)


Aidanne Gutierrez 5 years ago

I also have a very exciting experience regarding online love affair. I met my boyfriend some months ago and until now we are still in our sweet relationship.Online and personal for me is the same..


Inesha 5 years ago

Ive falling in love with a wonderful woman in the begining i was playing but now i love to love her. Im in new york shes in kanses city its a ways off but im waiting for the day to hold her spend time with her. I was scard to love but nw im not im excited to meet her


lalala 5 years ago

you guys have opened my eyes to so many possibilities


Wildmanjack 5 years ago

For about a year I have been chat5ting with a wonderful lady in Europe. There is a 20 year difference in our ages but that does not seem to matter to her. I can't wait to see her on line and start our chats, I feel like I'm 17 again. I have been single for 27 years and have always been afraid to get involved again as I really didn't want to experience the hurt again of the separation and divorce. But now I find I really want this relationship to work. I'm going to fly here over here to the US early next year and can't wait for the day she arrives. She has a 6 yr old daughter I can't wait to meet. I never had children. So I'm hoping and praying that if this is what is to happen then I'm all for it...


marie-louise rodriguez 5 years ago

im in a long distance relationship at the moment, she lives in america and i live over in the uk, we talk online on facebook when we can. we dated last yr for a bit but didn't work out due to circumstances, and now we are back together again, been together now nearly 5months august 12th. we haven't seen eachother yet, but we met online and became real good friends. i do love this girl a lot, i know deep inside she is the one for me, in a way its kinda easy for us cause we are friends with the same group of people. i hope that we do meet some day so i can show her to how much i real do value her and love her. to me attractiveness doesn't come into it cause if you fall in love with that person online, then it will still be the same person when you met them.

alothough you do have to be carefull when you meet somehow online cause half the time there not the person to who they say they are. so just be carefull. nobody can tell you to whom you can or cant fall in love with, no matter what the situation is.


TheLittleBlue 5 years ago

I do fictional Role Play, and have a wonderful partner whom I write with. We have been writing together for over a year now. We began as friends, and over time we got to know the writers behind the characters. We talk over skype almost every day, and text one another every spare moment we have.

After a year, we began thinking about a vacation together. I've seen his pictures, and although I am not physically attracted to the two dimensional photos, I am mature enough to realize that it's the person behind those eyes that I have fallen in love with. He asked me to send a photo and bluntly replied "I'm sorry, I'm not attracted to you." He has aspergers syndrome, and one of their quirks is that they can sometimes be blunt, honest, and even rude. It wasn't his intention to hurt my feelings but, I think my heart kind of broke right there a little. I've read a lot about Aspies and I know that I have to be very honest and blunt about my feelings for him. I told him that I am also not physically attracted, but that isn't an obstacle for me. I've worked passed it. Though I've had longer to become accustomed to accepting this.

*sigh* He still loves me and wants to work on this relationship. The fact that I was able to work past this obstacle has I think given him hope he will too. It's not easy being with someone with Aspergers, but I see the man through all these flaws. *laughs* the next time he tells me he doesn't deserve me I might tell him he's right, but he's a lucky s*** to have me anyway.

We live 17 hours apart and after some discussion we have both concluded that we are happy with a distance relationship. I've left a rocky marriage and am not interested in having another man permanently under my roof. Aspies need space. I have faith we will work through this. We do still plan to meet in later in the future, but not with any expectations of a physically intimate liaison, but more to have 3 dimensional dates, and become comfortable in each others' presence. We will also as time goes on begin video conferencing prior to this meeting.

I know that I could find someone to warm my bed if I wanted an itch scratched. My bubbly personality draws people in.

But right now this is the man I want in my life. We have to connect the physical realities of the people we are with the personalities we have grown to love.

I pray that he will be able to make this journey.


jenny 5 years ago

yes i have loved a guy on internet...its been over a year since we hav spoken to each other. still i am not able to forget him. believe it or not. u dont need to meet a person to love. stay away from internet love


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Shil1978 5 years ago Author

Thank you, Metrogirl, for sharing your experience. Do write a followup when you do meet, sharing your experience of how it went!! Thanks again for sharing your story :)


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Metrogirl 5 years ago from West Palm Beach, FL.

Hi, I'm Maryrose. I met my Fiancé Dan, over the internet Over three years ago, I was Fifteen and he was Seventeen. We've been engaged sence Jan 19th 2011, and we have never met. We're suppose to meet for my Birthday and Thanksgiving this year. . .Hopefully this goes well! I very much beilieve you can fall in love with someone over the internet whom you have never met, why? Because I have. Most people think of it as Taboo, or something is wrong with our abilities of being around people in person. . .But I have never felt such a strong connection with anyone I've known and dated in person like I do with him. I feel you get to know the real person inside instead of just going by on looks. I'd rather be in a long distance relationship with someone I've never met and be in true real love. . .Then with someone who's superficial. I'm not saying that's how everyone is, but that's just what I've gone through and experienced. I guess I'll leave a follow up story when we do finally meet! Thank you for taking time to read my story, God bless. =]


Christina 5 years ago

I met a guy almost two months ago online. We started off just talking as friends, but we have talked everyday and we skype on weekends. He is currently deployed to Afghanistan for the Army and we will finally get to meet each other when he comes home. I have never met someone who I was able to have such a close relationship with before and I think that is because we don't have the option of having a physical relationship yet. I love talking to him and I can talk to him about anything. I have definitely fallen in love with him, it definitely wasn't something either of us expected to happen but it has and it will be great to see each other in real life.


snowy1965 5 years ago

Well I posted 7 weeks ago. He arrived here 3 weeks ago. The first 3 weeks were wonderful. However & yes there is always a however. I started to find out that although he had not lied to me he had lied by omission. About things that do matter & do make a difference. Telling me that he wanted to tell me to my face unfortunately did not cut it with me. My response was what if I had been a total bitch & had just told him to get out. Especially as he knew I would understand what he had with held & not minded. Which made it all the worse.

However last night when he had a temper tantrum because he had forgotten his laptop charger & I happened to need mine (we have the same laptops) as I was doing something for my dad, I realised those things that we get to know about people gradually when meeting them in real life, often are missed in online relationships. This is what has happened here.

I cant deal with someone who acts like a child because they can not do without their laptop for 30 mins, or can not be 100% truthful. Lying by omission to me is the same as telling an out & out lie.

So now I have another week with him here, not knowing if I can put up with him here. I will do it as I think I am a decent person. However yeah I think next time I will meet someone in real life rather than online


Jet Black 5 years ago

padmendra, you are aware that nobody...not one of us...can control who we fall in love with. I spent 4 years head over heels with a girl and she treated me like a slave. 4 years it took me to come to. See my point? We do fall in love with those who are bad for us coz we cant help it. As for me, I'm pretty sure i might be in love right now. With beauty, our standrds of beauty are often met if the profile pic matches them now. With everything else, the internet is no barrier, so if they are honest about how they look from the get go, then yes you can fall in love over the net. In fact we've met only a few months ago and we both feel like we know each other so well that we both feel like marriage. We're being rational and waiting til we meet first however. Then we'll see if the way we feel is the same.


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Shil1978 5 years ago Author

Thank you, Snowy, for sharing your story. Look forward to hearing how it pans out for you. Best of luck!!


snowy1965 5 years ago

I started talking to a man in Sweden a few weeks ago. Yes we were both on a dating site. Both have been married before. I have been single for 3 yeas & he has been single for 4. We started sharing emails & we realised we think the same way about a lot of things. We have very similar outlooks on things. I am extremely ill & he knows this. He doesn't care. I told him I have zero money which is also true, I am on a pension as I am disabled.

I honestly thought this would put him off but it didn't Instead he said that we all get ill at some stage in life & to stay positive. He helps me through every day even though the time difference is a pain in the neck. Especially for me as I am the one that stays up to talk to him as he works so can not stay up all night.

He surprised me last night by saying he has booked 3 weeks leave from work & has bought a return ticket to Australia to see me. I expressed concern over what happens if what we feel now does not translate when we meet. He told me if that happened he would always be my friend & help me through what I am going through now & that he would stay in a hotel to make sure I wasn't feeling pressured. This is truly surprising to me.

He arrives in 7 weeks time. So I have 7 weeks to get to know him better. I feel lucky that I have met someone who actually gets what could go wrong & is taking precautions to avoid that happening.

My daughter said to me "what if he is a mass murderer." My reply was "it would be much easier to go to another country in Europe to kill someone than travel all the way to Australia to do it."

I will share what happens in 7 weeks if anyone is interested in seeing if what we feel can translate over to real life. Thankfully we are both in our 40s so not young & reckless. We are both careful thoughtful people which is why what developed between us caught us both so off guard.


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Shil1978 5 years ago Author

Sorry dear, but you got me all confused with your story. I think it is safe to assume that you are confused about it all, as well. So, I'd keep it plain and simple - get a bit older and then think about how you feel. With age, comes wisdom and I am sure you'd know the answer to your question with time!! Thanks for stopping by and commenting and best of luck with your life :)


Rana 5 years ago

Mine is a very long story so we started talking in june 2010 i talked for many hours sometime 5 hour with out stoping and at the end he told me i love u and i should not talk to u because i am older and we r very far distance apart. But i never said i liked him because i am realistic and i was very scared to say yes for this relationship for a person i do nto know he is 26 and i am 16 so one day i told him i love u so he wanted to marry me but i am very young so i told him woukd u wait for me until i graduate high school he said yes he wanted to marry me but i was scared and said no i do not trust myself what if he waited and when i meet him i do not like him so i changed my mind but we kept talking as friends the weird part that i never talked to him i heard his voice one time but now we talk but not as much as we did before he was i. The. Middle east but then he went to australia and i am in the u.s so we r not talking a lot since he goes to the university but it is not bothering me i do not know my feelings toward him that is why i said no but i know that he likes me. I never fell in love before so i do not know my feelings. Now i am talking with another guy this one i think he is lieing he told me he likes from. The second time we talked and i skyped with this one but the other one that i felt he was serious we never did so i am not sure. This guy the other one i miss him when he does not talk to me one day but i feel he is lying so what do u think??


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Shil1978 5 years ago Author

Sarah, you have any clue if he feels the same way about you? If not, it would be a good idea to wait a bit to try and gauge his feelings for you and then let him know.


Sarah 5 years ago

I met a man 5 weeks ago over the internet and he has blown me away, completely off my feet. I never knew such a man existed.. We skype with video cam most days and text and phone call and emails if we cant make skype at alternating times. I think i am falling in love with him and this scares me, we only live about 1 hours flight away but we haven't met yet, but i feel ive known him ages.. I genuinely think im falling in love.. What to do? tell him?


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Shil1978 5 years ago Author

I would think it would be best (if it is possible and if they really do love each other) that they be with each other. Travelling on her own isn't a good idea, indeed. If she is firm on travelling to meet him, why not get involved yourself and accompany her? If it is not practical for them to be with each other for the rest of their lives - would think it would be best for her to move on, but it is much easier for me or you to say that, isn't it? I wouldn't think it would be easy for her to just move on! So, it is a tough one and I guess she has to come to a decision on that in due course. Hope all the best for her and thank you, Rose, for stopping by and sharing your story!!


Rose 5 years ago

My 27 yr old daughter has fallen in love with an American man over the internet, we live in Australia. She is trying to save the money to travel and visit him, I am so concerned as she will be travelling by herself to go and meet him. The trouble is both him and her are physically disabled so have no hope of ever being able to live together in either USA or Australia. The reality is that they are destined to have a long distance relationship basically forever. I feel she needs to live in the real world and try to find someone she can share her life with 'in the flesh'. What do you think?


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Shil1978 5 years ago Author

Wonderful, Shiloh - thanks for sharing your most unique perspective on this subject. I agree, there are just so many different kinds of love, isn't it!!


Shiloh 5 years ago

There are other ways to fall for someone you dont know besides the internet.I work at a motion picture studio of note(wont mention),and come in contact with a lot of big name stars.Because of this I tend to dislike actors in general,many being too stuck on themselves.Not all,

mind you,but most.However,during a location shoot in Denmark,there is one who just kind of walked right up and stole my heart,..and he'll never know. He didn't talk to me,he just did his job,walking onto the set,doing his lines.However,its what he did after that did it.There was a person standing just offset,and had been there most of the day.He noticed her,and when he finished,he brought her a bottle of water,saying that she must be as thirsty as he was.One thing let to another,and of course she got an autograph.We were on the shoot for many months,n 3 countries. I got to watch this man's kindness expand in a lot of ways,and it just made it more. While our eyes did meet a few times,we never spoke,and whenever we crossed paths,I would think my heart was going to blow up.Lol.It was exciting,and fun.Still is. For all that time,and even now,I'm happy to know how I feel,and glad he doesn't.

What I am saying is that just because your love isn't returned,due to you not knowing the other person,it isn't nessecarily bad,and sad. As long as you realize that your love is to be secret,its a precious thing.


Andie 5 years ago

I'm actually in love with a guy I met online through a playstation 3 game, we were on the same team, started to talk to eachother and that was it! Now we talk to each other day and night.. It's easier now than ever! We can chat, text, email, talk on the phone, play games together on the ps3 with the microphone, video call-chat... He's coming to visit me in March, and I can't wait! I've never felt that way before.. By talking so much everyday we really get to know each other. If somebody would've told me when I bought my MAG game that I would meet someone, I would have never believed it! But I don't regret a single day.


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Shil1978 5 years ago Author

I wouldn't call it 'love at first sight' Pete, technically speaking, since you've known each other over time and developed feelings for each other over that period of time. The 'love at first sight' thing in my own view is very superficial. I don't know whether that is a 'lasting love.'

In your case, it might just be that as you've gotten to know each other through your online conversations that you've found her to match your ideals of what a woman should be and that she feels much the same way about you.

I don't think it is surprising why you both love each other. To love someone, you need to know about the other person, and if you share the same goals/outlook and basically warm up to the person, it is natural. I guess most folks can't understand because of the age difference between the two of you.

I hope her mom changes her mind about you. All the best, Pete, and thanks for sharing your story!!


Pete 5 years ago

Mine is slightly different. I chat online with someone I know at my place of work. But due to different work hours we only ever exchange very brief 'hello, how are you' types of chat. We hve known each other this way for about 3 months. BUt only in the last 2 weeks have we chatted online. We share a great deal in common, and have similar outlooks and goals. The problem is I am a lot older than her. We arranged that we should try and meet up for a coffee sometime, so we could chat face to face, away from work and the computer, just to see if we 'hit it off' in real life sort of thing. But when her mum found out my age, she said 'no' he's too old. So we were both very sad, because we had started to develop strong feelings for each other. we never spoke online for the next 2 days. Then we chatted again, and after a jittery start, we both realised that we could not just settle for 'being just friends' and that we had started to fall in love.After that, it was back to normal chatwise, if anything it got more intense. Chatting about our possible futures together. But of course there was her mum to try and get onside. So we are now in the position of wanting to be together, to start dating, to let everyone know we area a couple etc. But cannot, because of not wanting to upset her mum. We are both very deeply in love, even though it is only after a short time. Is this the definition of 'Love at First Site', but for the 21st century? To chat for only a very short time over the internet, and know in your heart of hearts, 'this is the one' ? We are hoping that if her mum met me, and realised the type of person I am, gets to know me, she will change her mind. People I have spoke to, cannot understand how we can both say we love each other, so soon. Just because we have only just started chatting online. I feel it is 'Love at first site' what do you think?


Snicks006 5 years ago

I have met someone online a few years ago. We chatted for about 2 1/2 months before we met. I really thought he was cute, but I did not fall in love with him over the internet. After we met I did fall in love very fast. ( I have no idea why) We dated for a few years. It was a bad ending.

Now I am on shot 2! I started to have e-mail conversations for a few months now with a new guy. We are great so far and I KNOW he is very sincere and sweet. He has not hidden anything from me at all. I am sure of it. I have seen him interact with his family and friends online and he is a REAL good person inside, and not to mention, he is so handsome. I decided quickly to snatch him up! Do to his situation, we cannot meet for about a year from now. ( there is a very good and proven legit reason why we cant meet now, but I do not wanna give too much info about his personal info. I do hope you understand)

So we are using this time to get to know each other better. We exchange e mail, chat, text, and use web cams. We were talking today and discovered that we both are worried that when we do meet, that it will get awkward, and that the awkwardness will ruin our relationship. He is VERY shy, as I am. However, we have already announced to out friends and family that we are in a relationship with each other. lol. I am so excited to meet him.

Can anyone please share how their first meeting was?

Thank you!


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Shil1978 5 years ago Author

Best of luck, Jen. I hope you find real and lasting love. Thanks for visiting by and commenting!!


Just_Jen 5 years ago

Tonight, I am meeting a man I met online a month ago. We started out with e-mail, but quickly moved to the phone. We have talked nearly every day, I really like him a lot, and I am very certain he feels the same. At the same time, I want to be realistic. I wanted to meet after just a couple of weeks, which didn't happen then because he admitted he was a little nervous. But it's not been that long, so I decided to just be patient with his timing. I did tell him that I thought the physical (not necessarily looks, but our chemistry and in-person vibe) was an important determining factor for any possible future. I have butterflies, I admit, and hope that the outcome of tonight is a new romance. Wish me luck. =D


confused 5 years ago

For the past month, I've been talking through web cam with a man I met online. I think about him everyday. I don't even know a lot about him but I am attracted to him and I enjoy talking with him. He always sends me little emails and notes when we aren't chatting to let me know he's thinking about me. The past couple of days, however, he has been completely ignoring me. If I come online, he suddenly goes offline. So I visited the website we met on, and he is on there chatting with women. We never said we were in a "relationship" - just enjoyed chatting with each other, but I was really beginning to have feelings for him and now I just feel stupid. I want to just cut him off but I feel like there could have been something great between us so I don't know..... I'm so confused


Jenny 5 years ago

I've wasted almost 5 years for him, i didn't think I'd do something like that for someone that I only meet on the Internet. Everyone said that I'm stupid, and that I noticed. Bcz if he's serious with me he should have come visited me sometimes sooner and not 5 years like this.I love him even he has been changed now. He's not like before anymore. 5 years maybe not really worth enough for him to come meeting me.. Why would I falling in love with someone I've never met for real? Why should I have to waste time for this useless thing? Can anyone tells me why? I'm hurting :(


Jenny 5 years ago

I've known him almost 5 years now. We met on the Internet, and I fall in love with him. But he never gave me his phone number, he's secretive. I don't know if he's serious with me. I've waited for him 4 years but he doesn't seem serious to me, all the time he just say that "I want to" whenever I ask him about come visitting me.. That's sad.


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Shil1978 5 years ago Author

Hi "fantasy or reality," thank you for stopping by and sharing your story. Must say I found it very disturbing. I had warned about married folks or those in a relationship getting into online friendships in a previous article of mine about staying loyal to your partner.

Such friendships may start as "harmless," but can quickly progress to something much, much deeper and this is quite unfortunate really. I really feel for you and your children. IMHO, it was not responsible behavior on the part of your wife.

Human love is very complex. You never know what it is that people miss or crave for - whether it is the need to live a fantasy or some need that is unfulfilled. Either way, there is no excuse when you have a spouse or kids. Unfortunately, in the online world, you might not even know that the other person is married, unless the other person shares that fact (in may cases they don't until much later on).

Your story demonstrates the pitfalls of developing online friendships when one is married. I wish you all the best and hope you can come out of this obviously distressing and saddening phase of your life!!


fantasy or reality 5 years ago

I have read these stories and feel that there is a lot of genuine people sharing great information here so i mean no harm what i am about to say just a small reflection from the other side. As a male I witnessed my my wife over a stretch of 3 to 4 months having a harmless relationship with a male from another state, the family would be invisible as she continued to say how harmless it is and spending hours a day in front of the computer then it went to phone contact daily, gifts being sent and finally a divorce has started as she has now confessed her love and she needs to be with him the children are confused as to what has happened.

My bitterness aside as this relationship progressed I would catch glimpses of her writings and his responses and vice versa and the lies that were being told from simple things of her weight to occupation to her daily activities would just blow me away, it seemed like she couldn't leave the world of fantasy I just find the whole event very disturbing that is destined for a tragic ending.

So keep in mind as humans we like the escape of reality we can be who ever we want and create a world as the way we want to see it but when we can no longer decipher from reality to fantasy that's a problem.

And respect the situation if the other party has a spouse

if you meet someone on the net :)


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Shil1978 5 years ago Author

Wish you the best of luck, hammerdcopper, I hope you find real and lasting love. Thanks for visiting by and commenting!!


hammerdcopper 5 years ago

i have meet a women online we have been talking now for three months she is willing to fly from over in her country to here to see me she has asked me what i want to see her in when we meet . she is comeing over next week christmas week she tells me she loves me every day she e-mails me five to ten times every day i think i might be in love with her also i figured if she is fronting the money for a plane ticket to see me then there might be something there if she does not hear from me at least otwice a day she worries as i do if i dont hear from her. we are to meet christmas week and she will be here for 7 days we are excited to meet wish me luck and i will keep u posted on the out come


SJF 5 years ago

I met someone online three months ago, and I must say I have bonded with him so much. We actually started talking without seeing each other's pictures, just from the little information which caught each other's attention. We started off with emails, then it transferred to phone calls and texting. The emails still do come in and I love reading the LONG emails. I appreciate them everyday, because very few people take time out of their busy day to actually write up long emails about their day. He seems very sincere and we have so much in common. It's funny the way many of the online relationships start off not having to deal with if he or she is cute or handsome. Also I believe that if you get to know someone on the inside as in character online, what he or she looks like won't matter to you when you do meet in person. Truth is I would rather be with someone who has a great character and no beauty, than to be with a handsome guy who has absolutely no positive traits.

My online friend is visiting me for Christmas and I am so excited about meeting him. Nervous but excited.


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Shil1978 5 years ago Author

Hi, 's,' you can't possibly be in love with this man. Perhaps, what you are missing is the attention he's been giving you. Would suggest caution. You are correct in being afraid and wary. Don't make hasty decisions. Think your decisions through.

Get to know him for a while so you know who he really is, or at least get a sense of him and his background. People may not always be who they project themselves to be online. Personally, I don't believe in love at first sight, but that doesn't mean others haven't found love that way.

Do not jump into anything just yet. Take your time and get to know him. Be cautious and proceed gradually by finding ways to know him more fully.


5 years ago

I just met this guy - know him for 2 months now, but we have spoken thru the phone, chatted online. He says he believes in love at first sight - he loves me after seeing my photo - I cannot reciprocate - i feel i need to see him physically but yet he has affected me so much. He would call to say he loves me and wants to settle down ASAP, he is practically waiting for me to say yes, and he will come and marry me. I am so afraid don't wanna make a mistake. We have not chatted for 3 days already and I miss him so much. I hate this silence - I wanna scream. Am I in love with this man?????


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Shil1978 6 years ago Author

Dawn, yes - you never fully know the other person's habits till you finally start living with them. No one is perfect though, so if the only bad things are certain habits (which are tolerable) then, as you said, you should accept and not let those factors come in the way of a relationship. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Was a pleasure to have you visit by and share your views :)


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shimmering Dawn 6 years ago

Shil, this was a good, thought provoking read, it is so easy to get attracted to someone's ideas or the way they express themselves on a medium that is not so personal as seeing one face to face... I wonder.. what will my thoughts be, if had an experience like this...

I am not so particular about the physical appearance but what if the other person is... mmm

I wonder if this really matters, for my husband and I dated for a year before we married, I thought I knew him so well... yes I did but there were a few of his habits that I did not know any thing about.. but we were already committed and the journey began to help each other accept each other and love each other despite the habits despite the short comings.

I guess that is life well lived, learning to love what you have!! Thanks for sharing.. I enjoyed reading this.


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Shil1978 6 years ago Author

Ruby, thanks for stopping by and commenting. You are most welcome, Ruby, I loved writing this article - also it has been wonderful to have so many of you share your experiences. Thanks for sharing your view on this subject too.

I agree with the points you put forth. Yes, there is the risk of having a picture of them form in your mind - that resembles more than anything your expectations of them and might have nothing to do with how they actually are in real!!

Thanks again for visiting by!!


Ruby, Aged 18 from London 6 years ago

This is a really interesting, but more so controversial topic. Firstly, thanks for a good article, Shil1978. I think 'falling in love' entirely depends on how the individual percieves 'love'. Many times, I've found myself deeply infatuated with people I've met online. As a 16 year old, I was naïve and of course, my emotions were all over- causing my to believe that I had found my true love- online. My point is that when talking to strangers online, we often view them how we WANT to view them rather than accepting that they're human and probably have multiple flaws.

I think it's possible to 'fall in love' with someone online, but I also believe that to know the person is truly right for you, meeting them face to face is necessary. Talking online is one thing, actually interacting with them in person is another.

Thanks guys!

x


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Shil1978 6 years ago Author

Debbie, yes - it is all quite exciting, as you put it!! Even though I don't have a personal experience to relate to, it is just so fascinating and exciting to read about your experience and the experiences of others, who have commented on this article.

I do hope what you are hoping for happens and that he expresses his love for you and asks you out, and you both can start a relationship. All the best with that, and thanks for sharing your experience :)


Debbie85 6 years ago

I think i am falling in love with a man online (facebook) right now, and am pretty sure he feels the same! Just a vibe i get as we haven't actually said anything about our feelings, we are just friends but i am pretty sure there is something going on here!?

We have been messaging for months, became friends through a mutual interest (a scientific group) and initially we talked about that every day but over the months we have become very close and talk about everyday normal things too so have come to know each other well!

*When i say talk, i mean in email form as we haven't spoke on the phone...yet!*

We are both 27 so not young kids, we have so much in common and make each other laugh :)

Plus we both find each other attractive (We haven't met but have commented on each others photos) So who knows where it could lead!?

We don't live near each other but not too far so it would be possible to meet up ;) I am too shy to suggest it though, i have hinted in the hope he will act upon it or say something....

Here's hoping he asks me to visit or something as i can't wait to see him! He brightens my day, if i don't hear from him one day i feel a bit down as i think about him a lot, he's adorable! ;)

It is all quite exciting isn't it! Just the same as any other way you meet someone, in a bar or work or through friends whatever, i don't see it's much different - You use your common sense and just 'know' if you've clicked with someone no matter how you hook up!

I know he is genuine and being honest because it's obvious, as am I. If he was being 'shady' or secretive about his life i would be able to tell, the same as in real life meetings...and if you get fooled by someone dishonest then unfortunately that's life isn't it. We've all met those types before! But most people are genuine i find, you can use your own judgement :)

If it doesn't work out who cares? We've all had let-downs, not every boyfriend/girlfriend you have is going to be the right one, but if you don't take a chance you will never know!

So to answer, yes i think you can 'fall in love' with someone online, but you must meet to find out if it's the same in 'real' life, have a proper relationship, If you don't meet it ends up kind of going nowhere except online friendship really. Which is all very well but if you have deep feelings for each other then friendship isn't really enough and could be frustrating/heartbreaking for both of you, and will probably just fizzle out.

I know in my situation i just want him to hurry up and tell me he likes me and ask me out so we can have a proper relationship and see how it goes! If we have to travel to be together then so be it!

All best wishes to everyone on here and good luck with your love affairs!


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Shil1978 6 years ago Author

Liz, that's truly remarkable!! I wish all the very best for both of you. It is good to hear success stories like yours. Thanks much for stopping by and sharing your experience :)


ELIZABETH 6 years ago

I think I have everyone beat here.... I met my man years & years ago (over 25 years!) and spent a few brief hours with him, technically I only know him from talking/texting/emailing over the last 5 months. We will be seeing each other in the spring and will spend a week together. I cannot imagine what it's going to be like after all these years. The chemistry was strong when we met and it still feels strong. He is very sweet and has already asked me if I will move to him in the future (his situation with kids in school who live with the ex makes it hard for him to leave for a few years). We talk on the phone, send packages to each other, email and text. As frustrating as it is not to be able to be with him physically, this is an awesome way to really get to know someone very well. We have been very open with each other from the get - go (we obviously aren't kids, and we do have that security of having met before). As crazy as it sounds, we both already know we want to spend our lives together....


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Shil1978 6 years ago Author

Thank you, Roddy, for stopping by and sharing your story. You've listed some very good points to consider for those in or considering to get into online relationships. Appreciate your inputs, thanks again for sharing them :)


Roddy 6 years ago

It seems to me that people experience online love much the same as the real life thing. Except that the attraction is focused on the persons personality and not the (although initial) physical. It is also true that people communicate for a long time before they actually meet, thus allowing a deeper bond to develop. This seems to be a good thing. I also read here that many of the dangers people warn of when discussing online relationships, are found in real life. Weirdo's, creeps, murderers, perverts, they're all there in real life too. Internet relationships are subject to the same challenges that real life ones face, and consequently can be as doomed as a real life one. So it seems it doesn't matter how or where you meet as long as you take the time to talk, talk and talk first and then some more. In my own personal online love story, I can honestly say that I was attracted by her beauty at first, but once we started talking we found that we have much in common. We found that we were both incredibly lonely and that we had both given up on finding someone. Skype is a good way to get to know an online interest better. It allows you see and observe a person in real life. I'll advise anyone to approach online relationships with an open mind. In fact it allows you the distance and time to really make up your mind about a person.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 6 years ago Author

Hi 'tranquility3572,' thanks for stopping by and sharing your experience. I am glad that you've taken a cautious approach towards this gentleman. From what you've stated, its been just a month since you've met him online, so the cautiousness is justified.

You have a very balanced head on your shoulders, so I am pretty certain you'd approach this situation with maturity and the cautiousness you've already demonstrated. I do hope this works out eventually, but don't be too eager in hoping that - you might end up thinking with your heart rather than your head. As you are already doing, "keep your antennae up." All the best!! Thanks for visiting by :)


tranquility3572 6 years ago

Well, I was trying to find some info on what I am going thru and this has proved somewhat useful. I have met a gentleman online and we text, call and send photos back and forth to each other. This has been going on for about a month now. Today, he tells me that he thinks he is falling in love with me. Of course, I started freaking out because I do not feel the same way. I am very cautious because I have children. He says that I am his woman and he knows that he wants us to be together. He has come across very sweet, but my antennae are up to be sure he is being 100% truthful. I have already done an online search for him and found no criminal history or anything negative. He is very sweet and gives me a lot of attention, but I just keep my mind open and not trying to get caught up. It is easy to do so because you are fantasizing about your expectations of this person, but you can easily be disappointed if they turn out to not be what you were expecting when you do meet them. I am hoping we meet next month. He is up north and and I am in the south. I do want this to work, but not so fast...


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 6 years ago Author

Thank you, Terjr67, for stopping by and commenting. Well, perhaps she just needs a "little space." Hard for anyone to tell what's going on in her head really!! It might be a good idea to just wait - that's all you can do honestly!! Hope things work out for the best - best of luck!!


Terjr67 6 years ago

I may have you all topped on this one. I met a girl through Match.com in Oct. 2006. She contacted me originally. We have talked on the phone a lot and up to about 2 weeks ago she has become distant and said she "needed a little space". Before this we were very close. Our schedules and other circumstances have made it that we haven't met yet after 4 years. It has been taxing at times, but we are very close and want to be with each other, but i'm not sure what's going on at this moment. This is the first time she has done this in the 4 years. She was concerned i'd give up and change my phone number and she'd have no way to talk to me in the future. We were always scared to give up because we are close and our friendship. So giving up and not knowing what we missed out on is scary. It's the toughest thing i've done in my life. We live 5 hrs apart and I feel bad it's taken this long, but I don't want to give up without seeing each other. It's been about a week without talking. She texts me and tells me that she just needs a little space. What does that mean really?... Just thought i'd throw my 2-cents in. I'm upset about this!


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 6 years ago Author

Thank you, DM, for stopping by and sharing those two stories. It is good to know how real people out there are faring vis-a-vis online love. Yes, it is a journey like any other - you have no control over how it evolves and ends up. Thanks again for visiting by :)


DoorMattnomore 6 years ago

I have two different online love stories. One friend married the man she met on line and divorced him after 10 years of emotional abuse. She is now happily dating another guy she met..on line!! The other left her jealous, controlling, neglectful husband for the man she met online and they are doing quite well. I think it is quite possible to develop feelings and a deep interest in someone online. Its just another way for a relationship to start, but how it will end? Its a journey, and you never know where it will take you, no matter how you met. You make some very valid points as to reality vs. fantasy, like discovering unexpected annoying habits. Nicely written hub.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 6 years ago Author

Thank you, Monique, for stopping by and commenting. Well, reading your post, one can almost feel what you are feeling :)

You have a beautiful way with words and a beautiful outlook towards love and live. I wish you the very best and hope your wishes and dreams are fulfilled. Hope your dreams turn to reality and all your expectations of him are met.

Thank you once again for sharing your experience - one of the most beautiful comments I've had to any of my articles :)


Monique 6 years ago

Oh my! For nearly months each week I have been sharing my life, my experiences and my daily challenges and joys with someone I have come to grow very fond of. Last night for the very first time, after responding to his mail, he went online. I was so emotional.I was online too. It was overwhelming to experience talking to him live, you have no idea! As naturally talkative as I am, for the very first time I was speechless. It is amazing how feelings creep up on you and turn your whole emotional life upside down. It certainly was a priceless and unforgettable moment where reality seemed just a second away. My heart was beating a thousand times more than what it was meant to. Today, i am trying to reflect on all that has happened and as i sit here thinking of all the many thoughts running through my head, i feel like i can just run to him and turn this dream into reality.A dream where i can make physical contact with him and the least, to hear the sound of his voice and feel the aura his prresence exudes, perhaps his cologne too... just to stimulate all my senses and confirm the perceptions I have of him, the truth and the unknown. I wish each one of you the best life has to offer, and may you always remember, that "God won't bring you to it, if he can't take you to it" and very often we meet the greatest people in our lives not when we expect them, nor when we want them. All i do is be myself, live passionately and honestly in the present and pray, "God's will be done and not my own", that keep me sane, focused and strengthens the appreciative joy of knowing him, come what may. :)


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 6 years ago Author

Thank you greczynka for stopping by and sharing your story. All the best - hope it works out well for both of you!!


greczynka2 6 years ago

I have fallen in love with someone i met on the internet. He is the love of my life and i am sure that we are going to be together in the real life too. We are going to meet in a few months as we live away from each other ( I am from Europe and he is from the USA) and i cant wait for this!! We know each other inside out already and we are talking about getting married when we meet!God bless the internet :)


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 6 years ago Author

Thank you padmendra for stopping by and commenting. What you say is quite true - it can be quite risky and dangerous. You are counting on the other person being honest.

However, if they are not, you have no way of knowing in most cases. You do need to take precautions! Thanks for your honest and well-meaning comment!!


padmendra profile image

padmendra 6 years ago from DELHI/NCR

Love is not a piece of cake or choco that you can chew anytime you want. Falling in love with a person you have never met is very risky and the result may be dangerous when you happen to meet that person physically. Cases of fraud, cheating and dishonesty are on the rise where people fall in love on internet or over phone. A lot of pre caution is required to go for permanent relationship with a person whom you have never met.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 6 years ago Author

Thank you TL for stopping by and commenting. Am glad you seem to have found someone you seem to share a lot with. Best of luck with your upcoming meeting - hope it goes well! Do comment again and let us know how it went!!


t.lady 6 years ago

I love ur stories on here, I also met a guy online and were due to meet in 19days, I'm so excited and I feel like I really do love him, I love hearing people positive stories about love like this, I feel like me and him have been so honest and were so into the same thngs, after we do finally meet I will repost and let u all know how it went


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 6 years ago Author

Thanks for sharing your story Smiles!! It is good to hear true experiences of people who've fallen in love without actually meeting initially. Will check out your hub!!

I am happy for you that you found love this way - unique for many, but I guess it just goes to show that it is possible!! Thanks again for stopping by this hub and commenting. Much appreciated :)


Smiles46n2 profile image

Smiles46n2 6 years ago

I've fallen in love with someone over text. it was how we met, and by the time we did meet, 3 months later, we knew eachother inside and out and physical appearance didn't even matter to us. I believe when you love someone for who they are and what they think, it's a much more sincere love then when your influenced by what they look like. I dont regret my love. I wrote a hub about it. its called

"My fight to keep afloat: My Journey Through my Life"

Though my love didn't truly work out... I don't regret it for a minute and i think its the truest love i'll ever have.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 6 years ago Author

Thank you Jenn for sharing your story! That was interesting!! I can imagine what you felt when the time came to meet in person.

I've often heard it being described as odd, weird, etc. I guess its normal to feel that way initially. Well, so glad you shared your story. This hub is richer for your contribution to it through your experience!!

Thanks again Jenn for stopping by :)


jennshealthstore profile image

jennshealthstore 6 years ago from Florida

I fell in love over the internet. And actually it was the best relationship I ever had. We talked for months before we met and knew everything about eachother. I have never been so close to a person in my life. We had seen pictures of each other but that was it. When the time came to meet, I had the biggest butterflies in my stomach. It was so exciting and I never had felt like that before, which was so weird because I knew him on the inside so well. I was very pleased when we met face to face and the relationship lasted about 5 years. I still love that man to this day!


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 6 years ago Author

Thank you, Neelima, for sharing your story. Yes, truthfulness is essential in a relationship. Unfortunately, in cases where distances are involved and you don't actually meet the person initially, lots of lies can sometimes be used, which obviously doesn't contribute towards a lasting relationship.

Thanks again for dropping by and for sharing your story. Much appreciated!!


Neelima Nair profile image

Neelima Nair 6 years ago from Kerala

i have fallen in love with someone i dint meet initially..i.e. over phone.. tho it dint last for long(due to otr reasons)..it was a sincere one..

everythn depends on how truthful one is wit the person they love..& love can happen anytime, anyhow! :D


summer 6 years ago

yes. been there done that.


Marz 7 years ago

It is possible to fall in love with the person you haven't met. I am married now to a man I met online. We met online 3 years ago and now we are happy than ever. I guess as long as you are honest to each other and as long as you trust one another, everything will be fine.


Annette 7 years ago

I am going to find out tonight......if falling in love, and then meeting in that LIVE mode is possible.....


Joanna 7 years ago

I think.. I know its possible to fall in love with someone you've never met. I currently am in love with someone i haven't met in person. We met over the internet over 5 years ago and talk almost every day via email or msn, as long as you can trust who they are and know their not some pedo freak. Everyone is entitled to love who they wish, i personally think falling in love with someone you haven't met is a good thing, because it takes time to fall in love, you discover things about the other person which attract you more, when it finally comes to meeting that person you wont be inclined to take them for granted because you would have waited so long to meet them.


solacemoon profile image

solacemoon 7 years ago from Illinois

I think it is possible to fall in love with someone over the internet you haven't met.Yes we all agree we are attracted to beauty but everyone sees beauty in a different way.Most of the time they have photos so you see what they look.I think you have to be honest in who you are or when the day comes to meet there will be dissapointment.You have to be yourself.

I think as we get to know a person over the internet providing they are honest we fall in love with their attributes we are attracted to their beauty whatever form of beauty that may be and I think that the love we feel in the begining could be considered philos love that has the posibilities of turning into an eros love.

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