Character Counts

CHARACTER COUNTS TO FIND LOVE

Character counts if you seek to find love. "Life is short" is not a cliché—it is true! People who want to find love that will last a lifetime often focus on the wrong attributes of their potential candidates. Our society is addicted to predictable patterns of attraction that tend toward looks, money and similar interests. Character counts, and it is the best predictor of lasting love.

Character, in the moral sense, is the most important way we can distinguish between individuals including normative and applied ethics. Hopefully, we consider this when selecting our friends. How much more so does this apply when one selects another person to love and marry? The value of moral character has been diminished in the eyes of many of our citizens in regard to public figures such as politicians or celebrities.  Character is of paramount importance when finding another person to be in intimate relationship with for a lifetime; and to be happy with forever.

Character is formed early in life and includes a genetic component as well. It is expressed by behaviors and habits that reflect each individual's perception of virtues and vices. It is of ultimate importance that the moral character of a man and a woman are aligned, in order for them to sustain a lasting, loving relationship and marriage. There are heavily weighted variables that can be uncovered through brief psychological questionnaires, administered by a trained Doctor, a tuned in Professional Psychologist, who can shed invaluable light on predicting compatibility.

By concentrating on factors other than character, many people waste years of their lives that they can never retrieve. This is borne out by the staggering divorce rates in America today. And it is reflected in the lives of people with broken hearts who are now lonely and past their prime after experiencing the modern phenomena of "Quasi-Successful Serial Monogamous Relationships" (a sequence of fairly successful romantic entanglements).  That is the foundation of my book "Successfully Single Syndrome." This is the painful result of not considering the prime factor of long-term success in love, besides chemistry: Character counts!

But all is not lost! Whether you are 22 or 62, you can find romantic love, and even marriage, by considering—first and foremost—that in the long run, the similarity of the characteristics in the person with whom you get involved and your own. This is not easy to discern. How many of us have dated someone for months only to have that epiphanous moment when we realize they are not right for us. Many times there have been "red flags" but we consciously chose to ignore them because we don't want to give up, despite the handwriting on the wall. My hope is that my readers will think about this carefully and in the future make it their mission to discern the character of a man or woman whom they consider a prime candidate for their affections. To find love, one would do well to consult a Matchmaker who is a Psychologist. A Professional Matchmaker will possess the ability to study her clients, and trained to match two people with a high probability for success. Follow your matchmaker's input. Because character counts!


YOUR AUTHOR

PROFESSIONAL MATCHMAKER & PhD IN PSYCHOLOGY
PROFESSIONAL MATCHMAKER & PhD IN PSYCHOLOGY

Comments 24 comments

James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 7 years ago from Chicago

How true this is! Timeless wisdom!


Dr Nancy Kenyon profile image

Dr Nancy Kenyon 7 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Thank you for your kind comments.


Brannon Rue 7 years ago

Well said. Why is it that there may be 3 syblings and 2 have "good" character and 1 does not and they all have the same up bringing?


Peter Cushing 7 years ago

Hi Nancy,

You will recall that several months ago when we were chatting at your place I said "A man's character is his fate" which is not original but rather a comment of Hippocrates around 3000 yrs. ago. Well, of course the comment applies to all of us, men and women and what we value will determine who we are in the long run.

Nietche (German philosopher) was asked how do you choose whom to marry? Well, he said, the answer is simple. Since that person will be the one you talk with for the rest of your life, you best choose someone you like to talk to because that is 95% of what you will be doing.

So since the men focus too much on youth and the ladies on social mobility, perhaps if we use our MINDS we can connect in a healthy way......

I hope all is well and if you call me I will know that you are reading your e-mails... If not I will ring your door bell and demand hor d'ourves at noon!

Kisses, Peter


Douglas 7 years ago

Bravo Nancy! Character is key and while we are all without perfection in character, our moral intent to be of good character sets the desirable partner aside from the difficult.

Thankyou for your insight into what helps make lasting partnerships.


Dr Nancy Kenyon profile image

Dr Nancy Kenyon 7 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Brannon— Thank you for reading. You have posed an age old puzzle. I chalk it up to free will. Though all three have similar nature and nuture people ultimately create their own behaviors.


Dr Nancy Kenyon profile image

Dr Nancy Kenyon 7 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Douglas— I appreciate your keen insights. And you are so right.


Dr Nancy Kenyon profile image

Dr Nancy Kenyon 7 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Peter— Thanks for the nod. Enjoy the alignment of minds. I maintain a cupboard of hors d'oeuvres. Let's chat soon!


John C. Thorman 7 years ago

Ah, wisdom from the good doctor! I completely agree that Character is the key. I think our character reflects our belief systems which are at the core of our being and they must be in alignment with another in order to yield a lasting and meaningful relationship. Keep up with the writing and matchmaking!


Dr Nancy Kenyon profile image

Dr Nancy Kenyon 7 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

John— Thank you for the encouragement. I can tell by your comment that you got it!


Eaglekiwi profile image

Eaglekiwi 7 years ago from -Oceania

Wow , enjoyed this hub tremendously! Too bad I followed my heart and not my head too.I remember reading sometime on how important similar values were and was content I had that part right ,however there was more ( isnt there always lol) because I had assumed my defination of values would be same as his-wrong

Thumbs up !


Hawkesdream profile image

Hawkesdream 7 years ago from Cornwall

I dismissed the writing in the wall with my ex, and listened with my current, We have different interests but we think the same regarding beliefs and ethics, think this is why we work.


Dr Nancy Kenyon profile image

Dr Nancy Kenyon 7 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Eaglekiwi,

Your first sentence brought a big smile to my face! Thank you for the lovely comments. And yes, things work out better if those definitions match up.


Dr Nancy Kenyon profile image

Dr Nancy Kenyon 7 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Hawkesdream— Love the name, by the way. I am glad you have found love. Thanks for reading and leaving your thoughts.


Benjimester profile image

Benjimester 7 years ago from San Diego, California

I couldn't agree more. Character is something I've often thought about and this hub speaks powerfully to me. There are two quotes about character that I've tried to live by to mature into the type of man I can be proud of. "The great privelage has been given to all to develop strength of character." And from the ancient Greeks, "Character is destiny." Thanks for the great advice!


Dr Nancy Kenyon profile image

Dr Nancy Kenyon 7 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Benjimester— We are all blessed with infinite opportunity to develop in this area. Thank you and you are welcome.


men are dorks profile image

men are dorks 7 years ago from Namibia

I must have a dorky character coz I seem to only attract the yucki ones. Help.... LOL


Dr Nancy Kenyon profile image

Dr Nancy Kenyon 7 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

men are dorks,

This gives me an idea for another Hub. Thanks for the inspiration!

Nancy


men are dorks profile image

men are dorks 7 years ago from Namibia

your welcome


lefseriver profile image

lefseriver 7 years ago from Northern Minnesota

thanks for reminding me how important character is in relationships. great hub!


Dr Nancy Kenyon profile image

Dr Nancy Kenyon 7 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

lefseriver,

You are welcome. Thank you for the visit.


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 7 years ago from Houston, Texas

A matchmaker AND a psychologist...great teaming of purposes. Hopefully you have been able to introduce many people who have ended up enjoying love and marriage. You absolutely have it right. Character is everything.

My gem of a husband of almost 39 years is also my best friend.


Dr Nancy Kenyon profile image

Dr Nancy Kenyon 7 years ago from Orlando, FL Author

Peggy W— I am so pleased today to read your nice comments. I have had considerable success and it is very rewarding. Thank you!

You are a lucky woman.


magnoliazz profile image

magnoliazz 6 years ago from Wisconsin

I wish I had this information when I was 20 years old, but would I have listened? Of course, you are 100% accurate, character is everything.

My problem was that I always felt sorry for the underdog ( and I still do), and I ended up getting used. I see how some women take a guy with nothing ( but character) going for him, dust him off, stand him up and turn him into a productive member of the human race!

I don't know if this is true in your world, but in my world, very few men become sucessful on their own, there is always a powerful woman by his side, nuturing him and pushing him upward.

Perhaps that's the way it is supposed to be, after all God created women to more or less take care of his glorious creation...and that is MAN! LOL!

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