Clever Things to Say When Being Introduced or You Doing The Introducing

Lucien Carr, journalist, has to introduce people to people in his vocation.
Lucien Carr, journalist, has to introduce people to people in his vocation. | Source
An industrial mask was introduced to children in England during the war days.
An industrial mask was introduced to children in England during the war days. | Source

Isolated and insulated.

I was thinking about how really predictable we as a civilized people are in life. We all do civilized things. Eat civilized ways. And talk civilized with friends and family even when the occasion calls for angry outbursts at why some non-thinking jerk who was drinking while driving and ran an innocent family off the road. Not a time for humbleness and sensitive tolerance.

Long story short, we have become an isolated people thinking only of ourselves and insulated from any feelings about others who may be a bit misfortunate. Nope. We want what we want and when we want it and we will fight if we even think we are being cheated out of our fair share.

These girls were introduced two months ago and now they are friends.
These girls were introduced two months ago and now they are friends. | Source
First Lady, Michelle Obama and Queen Elizabeth both know how to be introduced and to introduce.
First Lady, Michelle Obama and Queen Elizabeth both know how to be introduced and to introduce. | Source
The little elephant, an orphan, is introduced to other elephants to get it used to being in a group.
The little elephant, an orphan, is introduced to other elephants to get it used to being in a group. | Source

Does any of my story relate to my topic?

Not really. To be honest. I got on a verbiage binge and just "let it rip." But in the two paragraphs above is the key to our being insulated when it comes to the plight of others and how we go through the motions not just in our lives, but how we introduce people to others. It is so lame and mundane that it makes me drowsy. It's just a common thing to say: "Mr. Jackson, this is Larry, the bill collector who keeps riding me over the phone at work. Larry, this is my boss, Mr. Jackson, who takes a dim view of such people who do such deplorable things."

After the introduction, it is just "business as usual." "Let's head to 'Gilbert's Diner' for lunch and forget if "Mr. Jackson and this "Larry," were happy to meet each other. Problem is that they might also be so bored hearing the same old, worn-out introduction phrases that they could pass out.

So I have come to help this crack that is growing wider in social and professional circles. I am very glad to lend a hand with this piece I am calling . . .

Clever Things to Say When Being Introduced or You Doing The Introducing

Sometimes professionals screw-up introductions.

"This guy is our office slacker."
"This guy is our office slacker." | Source
A weightlifter is introduced to a huge tire to help him in training to compete in The World's Strongest Man Competition.
A weightlifter is introduced to a huge tire to help him in training to compete in The World's Strongest Man Competition. | Source
President Clinton is introduced to speak to a conference about preventing violence.
President Clinton is introduced to speak to a conference about preventing violence. | Source
Many times a representative from a company has to introduce himself to other company employees.
Many times a representative from a company has to introduce himself to other company employees. | Source
Evangelist is introduced to civic group.
Evangelist is introduced to civic group. | Source
Today, women in the workforce are expected to introduce new employees to sales executives and other dignitaries.
Today, women in the workforce are expected to introduce new employees to sales executives and other dignitaries. | Source
At office meetings a visiting speaker has to be introduced to the rest of the room.
At office meetings a visiting speaker has to be introduced to the rest of the room. | Source

These Five Lines are When You Are Being Introduced:

(Just insert your name where my name appears).

  1. "Mindy, this is my friend, Kenneth." "Kenneth, this is our new receptionist, Mindy." "How do you do, Kenneth?" "Oh, not bad. I just love movies about women's prisons."
  2. "Kenneth, meet my fiance, Dylan." "Dylan, this is my oldest male friend, Kenneth." "Nice to make your acquaintenance, Kenneth." "Dylan, I once owned a collie who favored you."
  3. "Mr. Lucas, this is our new writer, Kenneth." "Kenneth, this is our publisher, Mr. Lucas." "How are you doing today, Kenneth?" "Great! I hear that you can do a great John Belushi impression."
  4. "Rev. Taylor, this is the new visitor to our church, Kenneth." "Kenneth, Rev. Taylor." "It is great to meet you, Kenneth." "Thank you, reverend, but I am not a Buddhist. Well, not that you can notice."
  5. "Judge Traynor, this is Kenneth, my client." "Kenneth, I am honored for you to meet my dad, Judge Traynor." "Kenneth, it is so nice to meet you." "Appreciate it, Judge. But I have no outstanding warrants. Just common ones."

These Five Lines Are When I Have to Introduce Someone:

(and again. Insert your name where my name appears).

  1. "President Obama, may I present my long-time friend, Julie. She is a pole dancer in San Diego." Obama is of course, stunned, but laughs along with the cool line.
  2. "Mr. Cooper, this guy is the best private detective going today." Actually, the 'guy' is a student in the seminary.
  3. "Ms. Foxfield, I would love for you to meet, Tammy. She recently allowed herself to be captured by a raging tribe of uncivilized Indians from the Amazon." Both Tammy and 'Foxfield' are now trying to deal with red faces. But this line helped to "break the ice" between the two."
  4. "Matt, this is Vanilla Ice. He used to do 'White Man's Rap' in the 80's, and now wants you to help him be a successful member of HubPages." Matt first glares at you. Then glares at Vanilla Ice. Then both guys shake hands and whisper, "That Kenneth is really off-the-wall!"
  5. "Mr. Foxworthy, this guy is 'Jim Hatchfield,' who wants you to teach him how to be a successful plumber." Jeff Foxworthy laughs is butt off while 'Jim' soon loosens up and joins Jeff in laughing."

Another crack in our social and professional lives sealed.

My job is finished here.

And now may I "introduce" you to my absence that will last for about two to three hours.

These volunteers have to introduce golfers, fans, and VIP's to each other all of the time.
These volunteers have to introduce golfers, fans, and VIP's to each other all of the time. | Source

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