Communication Between Men and Women

Ladies, do you ever feel like when talking to your boyfriend or husband that he thinks you are speaking a different language? It is frustrating for both when this happens! Some men feel that all women want to do is talk! Well, women do like to talk things out, that is very true!

Men talk mostly to share immediate info, nothing more nothing less. Conversations with men can seem like they are not interested in you or care, but really they just don't feel the need to say more than needed for that moment. They want to get to the point and they are done. In reality thats just the way mens brains are wired.

Not all men are like this, there are alot of men out there that love a good conversation. But in general men speak half as many words in a day as women.

And men need to be heard about their opinions and feelings (yes in their own way they share their feelings)

Men process information differently than women in that they do not 'multi task' their thoughts. They prefer them one or two at a time, process them and move on to the next. Women's brains however are wired to handle many conversations and thoughts. We just have that ability!

The best way to keep a man's attention during a conversation is to be more direct. Men lose interest when you take a wordy route to the point of your story.

Remember, men are wired to be the provider and solvers. They may take the things a woman is sharing as needing help when all she needs is someone to listen. So she may be offended when he tries to fix things when she doesn't feel she needs fixed!

Women tend to work through problems by verbalizing them because by verbalizing them we 'see' them and can solve them usually ourselves.

Men need to realize that not every question from a woman is a problem begging for a solution. A woman will ask for your help or a solution if she needs one, most of the time she is venting or verbalizing just to verbalize!

Advice for a the guys? Listen, listen, listen. And its okay to mirror back to her what she said to clarify her meanings if you don't know. You can't read her mind any more than she can read yours.

Advice for a woman? Talk to your girlfriends more! ;-) Kidding aside, women need to engage her man in conversations that interest him more, be less wordy in your side of the conversations and be more to the point. And remember, he cannot read your mind any more than you can read his!

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Comments 13 comments

glassvisage profile image

glassvisage 7 years ago from Northern California

I think men aren't so interested in sharing information as they are trying to show how much they know, and that they are competent. They are much more competitive, generally, while women talk more to establish a deeper relationship. Good idea for a Hub!


Richard 6 years ago

You're correct in many regards and not in others. Soon leave a URL location to discuss more. For now, read "You Just Don't Understand" by Deborah Tannen; I talk way more than my wife/partner because I cross genders styles in my mind, a volitional choice because women are mo, Be are interesting than men. Be aware that men like to communicate while doing something not face to face generally, so walk, golf, watch sports, workout with one and talk. Men create connection by one-upping instead of


tukyag 6 years ago

nice blog...!

quite informative...


Bradford  6 years ago

Stop over analyzing this stuff. Suck it up women. The truth is that women WANT a problem solver and not a listener. Women have friends and a mother they can go whine and moan to. I for one don't tolerate a woman whining like a brat over nothing. If you want to whine and be heard get a friend, if you want a problem solved come to me. I'm not built and equipped for the former, dont want to be, don't want to pretend to be, so take it elsewhere.

When a woman does come to me and presents some absurd issue she feels she is facing I always have found the best reaction comes when you minimize the problem in a way that gives them confidence they can deal with it and then quickly change the subject or divert their attention. Women are smart enough to know that they oftentimes think irrationally and overly-emotionally about things. They want you to validate that and tell them that whatever problem they are pawning over is not a big deal. Be asssertive, get some balls and be a man.

When she expresses a problem say something like "you're not seriously worried about that are you?" Then briefly assue her, "what a waste of time...you got that" and then change subject "lets go jetskiing." Just seee what happens when you provide them with an escape from their worries instead of engaging them.

If you're not a part of the solution you're a part of the problem. Women don't have any clue what they really want in men. Its all instinctual. But its why bad boy typees like me pound your girlfriends while you sit at home with your tissue box. Start behaving based on the way women think not what they say they think or WANT to think.

Women want to be more like men in many ways. The feminist movement is inherently flawed because its essential goal is to achieve equality including killing what is feminine. Popular culture, romanticizing of courting rituals, puritanical social roots, stigma, etc. all works against women expressing what they REALLY want. This is why they say they want the nice guy but like the badd boy. This is why they say they hate surprises but love them. This is why...ad nauseaum.

Don't fall for it bro or someone like me is gonna steal your bitch. Articles like this are Grade A Crap. Just look at the guys with multiple options.


floyd 5 years ago

Oh my god. I assume you are not married. I pray that no woman ever puts up with you.


Tracey 5 years ago

Dear Bradford,

You are a complete asshole and I hope you realize that

you do not have one iota of understanding, compassion

or emotional intelligence in your email. Is that to

the point enough for ya?


Diana 5 years ago

Bradford, MAN UP! You think it makes you a man to admit that you give no positive feedback to your female and "pound her girlfriends while she gets the tissue box"? This makes you a colossal joke and a non-candidate for marriage and relationships! You may think you are hot for sex, while women may be laughing at you behind your back as they "pound" your boys!

What women really do want is a caring, sensitive strong man to guide them and comfort them through their troubles! Not judge them and throw them to the dogs like you! We can solve our own problems, we just want a strong man in our life to be there for us and stick by us through life! Doesn't sound like you, pretty boy!

Thanks for fodder!

Dianadiva1


innovations116 5 years ago

Every woman has a different expectation from a guy. I am going through some headaches myself because a girl that i like only has interest in heavymetal dudes (particularly musicians) as she herself is a metal chick (mainly death metal). Shes been through a few bad relationships yet refuses to acknowledge the fact that metal musicians as well as any musician for that matter, are constantly approached by groupie chicks that get a thrill out of bangin a musician. So how the hell can you actually expect to have your dude be faithful? Some learn the hardway like after they marry the guy. But at least they learn their lesson. Yet try to talk sense into her and she'll ignore you. And when i get ignored, i get upset and start emailing you more. I know thats stupid. So now she labels me as 'needy'. Thats one of the worst things to be labeled as a dude is needy. How is it needy when you enticed my rage? You cry about your failed relationships, then ignore me when you dont hear what you wanna hear, but then i am needy?

The funny thing is, if you look at the signs of a needy guy, one of them is constantly calling or emailing a girl. What a catch 22. Im doing what a needy guy does but not because im needy, im pissed. A needy guy constantly calls a girl if he thinks about her romantically all the time and cant live without her, etc. But not because youre upset that she dont want to hear the truth.

Chances are she is having the time of her life watching me flip, but at the end of the day, who is the grown up ? Whos playing the silly game?

So what do women want?


jaila 5 years ago

Bradford only wanted attention here like the ladies do too-i bet he cries himself a river when a woman isnt doing what he expects her to do lol


renato 5 years ago

women use twice words than man..


actually... 5 years ago

i think bradford has a point. why indulge in problems? seriously. so many women i know suffer from overtalking overanalyzing overthinking their shit. what they really need is just to reconnect with their own sense of confidence that they can handle their life (which they can, and if they don't believe that, then they need a psychologist not a man), and one of the best ways to do that is to have some fun. go dancing, shoot some pool, play sports, tell some jokes, have a good time. seriously. bradford may sound like a dick but honestly what he's saying makes a lot of sense and actually works.

men shouldn't be counsellors for their women. counsellors should be counsellors for women. or their girlfriends. but not men.


actually ... 5 years ago

ps innovations: you are needy. that's all good but awareness is the first step man. you're posting about your relationship problems on a public board ... needy.

good luck


HaileyAdams profile image

HaileyAdams 3 years ago

Nice hub! they say wpmen are from Venus and men are from Mars, i guess it explains everything.

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