Compliments Given by Certain Guys That Sound Awkward, Misunderstood by Pretty Girls

"Why was I so stupid to agree to go on a date with this guy?"
"Why was I so stupid to agree to go on a date with this guy?"
"And he was so sweet and honest when he was talking to me."
"And he was so sweet and honest when he was talking to me."

Do you know "these" guys?

Some guys are to be pitied. I was once one of these poor souls. Folks, I am dead-serious. I do not know what was wrong with me or the guys I am going to talk about, but something is definitely wrong with them.

I am speaking of those guys who are super-nice, loyal, devoted, hard-working, but when it comes to giving a pretty girl a compliment, they simply do not have the tools or skills. This is not a knock on them, just a hard truth to tell.

Oh, these good guys try hard and devote lots of time to their appearance, even that doesn't help then with they are on a date with a hot chick and he feels the urge to say something nice to her. It's like a demon living inside of him takes over his ability to speak and the demon does the speaking--leaving the poor guy looking mighty foolish.

This is why I gave this piece the title of:

Compliments Given by Certain Guys That Sound Awkward, Misunderstood by Pretty Girls

More reactions by the girls whom the guys in my story feel when their date with them is over:

Stunned.
Stunned.
Humiliated.
Humiliated.
Emotional exhaustion.
Emotional exhaustion.
Despondent.
Despondent.
Disconnected.
Disconnected.
Depressed.
Depressed.
Meltdown.
Meltdown.
  • "Heyy, you don't eat near as much as your brother said you did."
  • "I love your hair. It looks so nice that it looks like a wig styled by a professional."
  • "I'm glad that you are not a prostitute for you would put other prostitutes out of business."
  • "Your dress is almost bursting off of you. Do you enter female body building competitions?"
  • "Oh, that was your leg touching my shin. I thought it was your pet poodle. I love poodles."
  • "Sweetie, your face is so smooth. By chance, do you use Gillette razors or Bic disposables?"
  • "Why did you say 'pardon me' when you belched? I love belching from women."
  • "If I didn't know better, I'd swear that you were my aunt Gladys' twin sister and she looks very pretty for her age too."
  • "Now I must tell you that your moustache will make my dad jealous. He has worn one for years."
  • "Your room mate said you could out-drink any man. I like that. Women who funnel their booze turns me on."
  • "Your older sister said you could put Dolly Parton to shame and I just love your nick-name, "Jugs."
  • "The waiter whispered to me that he thought you looked like Marilyn Monroe. I set him straight though. I told him you were Jessica Alba's look-alike."
  • "Oh, I have a feeling that my pet mule, "Jonah," will love you."
  • "Look at that! The callouses on your hand is as rough as the ones on my hand. We have already got something in common."
  • "Pardon my boldness, but I think you would look hot in green underwear."

And this one . . .

  • "Were you born without breasts?" "I just love flat-chested girls."

See what I mean? The guys who give compliments like these to pretty girls are not just pure as the driven snow, but the loneliest men on earth.

Duhhhh!

"I just couldn't, like, believe, like, what he, said, like it was, like, hurtful."
"I just couldn't, like, believe, like, what he, said, like it was, like, hurtful."

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Comments 2 comments

Tiffanyapril profile image

Tiffanyapril 16 months ago from Michigan

Hi Kenneth Avery,

Interesting! Do you think this could be due to the growth of technology? Meaning people text these days versus older days. I hope you and your family are doing well. My apologizes for my absence. My daddy health has been up and down. What is new with you and your family?

Blessings,

Tiffany April


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 16 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Aug 12/2:50 p.m., cdst

Dear Tiffanyapril . . .

How are things up there in Michigan? I hope you and yours are doing well.

You are right. Techies and "old school" communicators are a world apart. I still do things like in-person correspondence which is more fulfilling than online activity. Just my opinion.

I am so sorry for your dad's health. I will pray for him if you do not mind.

And pray for you as well.

I have missed you a lot.

Since we talked last, I have started building birdhouses at my home to generate cash for groceries, etc. Yes, it is that serious down here.

Yesterday, I cut the little finger on my right hand to the bone, but praise God it only went to the bone.

Thank you, my DEAR friend, for the sweet comment. I loved it.

Please keep in touch with me.

Kenneth

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