The fresh tear you just saw is only the beginning of a long and scary journey that I would have soon to take. I’ve kept a diary to fill in the memories and my everyday struggle to let go of the chains you’ve bind me so tight.
Here’s my journal for you to read, dear Heartbreaker, for you to know that what I’ve been through is real and it isn’t funny. And don’t even say you care because on what I see, you don’t. You’ve broken me again and again and ruined her life. Are you proud of yourself now?
I was once being owned by a happy and lively girl. She took good care of me and she always makes me smile.
My life was beautiful - not until someone came into the picture. She gave him all of me. At first, he's nice and made me happy but one day, he broke me into million pieces.
She made him her life and ignored the tears on her eyes every time he lied to her. I never saw the sunshine again.
My world became void and empty. I never saw her smile again as she used to.
She crept into the world of loneliness while silently crying and picking all the little fragments of me. She wanted me to be whole again but I'm already broken and no matter what kind of glue she’ll be using to turn me into what I used to be, I’ll not be perfect anymore for the cracks will always be there.
She loved him so much that she's willing to take every chance to be with him. I felt pity for her, she did nothing wrong and she deserves to be treated and loved the way she wanted. She deserves to be his only choice and not just an option.
But not all life stories have fairytale endings; and that’s what makes this life real.
When he said sorry for breaking her heart, I saw a glimpse of hope shining thru her eyes. She's happy; I can see that, though I can feel I'm breaking again for what had happened. But I tried to smile and be happy for her; for finding love again despite the pains.
I was so scared whenever doubt clouded the eyes of this lovely girl. I don't want to be broken again, it hurts so much... Well, hurt hurts.
Then one fateful day changed my life forever. He broke me again and I found myself lying hopelessly and dying on ground.
So maybe you wondered what she said or did after her "life" made me miserable. Did she fight for me? Did she hold on to me?
I would have wished if she did. But she gave me away, just like that, and worst, to him. And she's willing to live everyday; with me not being with her anymore. She kept the other broken pieces of me and I know that no matter how much she tried to glue it back again, there will always be "me" missing on the puzzle.
I said goodbye to the other pieces and not knowing what will be my future without them and her.
My new owner brought me to other place I never knew. He ignored me all the time, always in the run to find his true love but he never did. My being there on his life always remind him of my old owner, that someone's been waiting for him to let me go make her life complete again. But I guess, he's not ready yet to bring me back home.
He then found another heart to love and to break. It always begin with one endless tear.
I cried all day missing my old life - being happy and serene all the time, no pains, just always smiling. I wonder what my old owner is doing right now. Is she crying? Is she alone? Did she missed me too? Oh God, how I missed her pretty smile and laughs.
Time flew so fast that I've learned how to adapt to my new dark life. I couldn't define smile anymore, much more a laugh. I'm miserable and I wished that I'll go to heaven and never wanting to see anyone who will try to break me again.
She came back for me. She's ready to take me away from this dark world where I am now. I know that she'd gone through a hard, rough time without me and so am I. But it doesn't matter anymore. She's here, I'm here and we're ready to become whole again.
She said sorry to me for giving me away to someone who doesn't deserve a piece like me. And you know what, she promised to take good care of me and love me always and no man will ever break me again.
I may be broken still and the glue is still fresh but I know that the time will come when those cracks will be hidden once more. I'm so happy that my life's been back to normal again.
I looked up and see her smile, the smile of a young brave girl who rescued me just in time I was about to die. I love her and I promise to be with her and to be strong always.
And for now, it's just me and her... happy and whole again.
Here’s a little note for you, dear heartbreaker,“When you forget her, don’t remember me”.
Her Broken Heart.
© 2012 Mycee. All Rights Reserved.
- A Diary of A Broken Heart
Read the diary of a girl who got her heart broken and finding her way to enjoy life as a single-crowned princess again.
Not a day goes that I regret telling you that I love you because it hasn't been the same since. Unfortunately, you don't feel the same. I missed how much you cared so much before. :(
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