Cyber Soul Mates? Finding Friendship Online!

Before you start reading this thinking you’re going to get advice about how to find the perfect man or woman of your dreams to settle down with and have 2.5 children, stop reading this and move on to one of the thousands of dating websites that seem to invade my inbox each day. I used to be offended by the Christian Singles dating site assuring me that apparently single Christians wanted to meet this Jewish boy (mainly because I had a feeling that it was all some sort of master plot to convert us Jews by tricking us into dating Christians) but lately I’m more offended by the fact that I have now seemingly fallen into a whole new category as the Senior Dating services begin to tell me that I could use their services. Puh-lease, never mind that this forty-something gay has been in a relationship with the same man for 22 years and not looking for love in all the wrong cyber spaces, forty is NOT the new seventy!!! But this is not about dating sites. It’s about finding people with like interests and/or opinions online. Recently there have been whole political revolts attributed to starting on Facebook by people banning together so does it not make sense that so many people are finding their friends online instead of in person? Cyber Soul Mates?

What I’ve discovered is that it’s sort of difficult to make friends once you’re out of school. Sure you may find someone on the job but invariably they move on or you do and oft times the relationship ends (or malingers on in some fashion by you poking one another now and again on Facebook). I think it’s even more difficult for single people because if you’re married and have kids, you can still use your kids as friend makers by creating play dates with other kids whose parents you think are cool. Or you have them on a sports team or enrolled at a dance studio so you constantly have an opportunity to find people with like interests and who have kids who share your kids’ interests so you get the easy way out. But for many single adults they don’t have the kid card to play and so they turn to the online universe which can be daunting and a little scary.

I guess people still find one another on chat boards, finding that they share a common love for Justin Bieber or something and thus a friendship is born but what if you’re looking for more or someone who not only shares some of your same interests but might even be able to help you sort of sort things out because they’ve been through what you’ve been through and are on the other side of it?

I have been on HubPages for over four years and I follow a lot of you on here. You write brilliant things, everything from fiction to how to get the funny smell out of my car. I’m amazed at the wealth of knowledge and the cyber pals I’ve met on this site. So with all of that knowledge and no doubt, being in contact with other people who share your passions that you’ve met online, I’m challenging all of you to give one site where you have found cyber soul mates below in the comment section of this Hub! Let’s create our own database of sorts for our fellow Hubbers to find their cyber soul mates, shall we? I’ll start, okay?

On the surface Jacks and Jills is a site for gay men and their straight female friends but once you delve into the site what you discover is that it’s a new way to look at social networking that’s pretty ingenious. I don’t have to wonder how the people on this site feel about gay marriage and at the same time I can ask the Jacks and Jills “community” everything from who gets me in a divorce between a gal pal of mine when I’m friends with her ex-man to whether or not I should tell my gal pal that she needs to put down the vodka and pick up another Zumba class. It feels as though I’ve found that gang I used to hang out with on the quad at school (without having to worry about copying one another’s notes before the next class). I feel in a small way I’ve found some cyber soul mates and I didn’t have to get dressed or even shower. (Okay, so maybe that’s more information than you needed to know and for the record, I shower at least once a day…come on, I’m a gay man for Chrissakes!) I think there is more than fast hook ups and people trying to start revolutions online. There are people starting to connect and I’ve found a site that does that for me. What site does that for you?

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Comments 8 comments

Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 5 years ago from Upstate New York

I'm thinking...I keep track of a lot of far-flung family members whom I adore on Facebook; they are so generous about sharing pics.

NOW-National Organziation of Women, is good for women-in-business, glass-ceiling related shares. Also, you can be pretty bluntly honest about men on that site and no one seems to mind. (Present company excepted, Scott, honey, you're cool!)

I really can't think of much else.

somelikeitscott profile image

somelikeitscott 5 years ago from Las Vegas Author

Thanks for playing Paradise 7! Those are good ones. Anyone else?

Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 5 years ago

Hey Handsome! I thought you guys would be off to New York by now! My friends there haven't stopped celebrating! Hugs, Hubs and Kisses, Earth Angel!

somelikeitscott profile image

somelikeitscott 5 years ago from Las Vegas Author

EA - very excited here as you an imagine and yes, thoughts of waking up in the city that doesn't sleep has crossed our minds. Wait, we live in Vegas this town doesn't sleep either...but it doesn't allow gay marriage either - go figure. Love to you, my angel right here on earth!

Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 5 years ago

Oh Scott, you do my heart flutter and my wings blush! ;-)

sligobay profile image

sligobay 5 years ago from east of the equator

I have no need of friendship,; friendship causes pain; I am a rock...lalala...I am an la la.. good hub scott.. my cyber friends are on Hubpages. From Setember through June, my friends are all in my bowling league at our men's club. I am quite lucky there and that's where we share all major sporting events on the big screen. Its like a fraternity house for grown-ups. Women are more difficult to meet and greet but I prefer the real feel of things to cyber searching. Hope that helps the survey. Cheers mate.

somelikeitscott profile image

somelikeitscott 5 years ago from Las Vegas Author

EA - ;)

Sligobay - you bring up a really good point. As much as we depend more and more on computers, sometimes the best way to make friends is still the way it began, in person, with people who have similar interests! Great thoughts - thanks for sharing.

Daffy Duck profile image

Daffy Duck 5 years ago from Cornelius, Oregon

That's an interesting hub. You don't have to actually go out with your friends as long as you can talk to them. It is dangerous, however, to give out information on line. Unfortunately there should be a limit on that for on line friends. Good hub. :)

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