Dating Tips for Women after the First Date with the 'Perfect Man'

Looking for Love


First Date

There you are on a first date with a man who seems perfect for you. Is he the one? Is he your soul mate? You connect so well with this man. You want this to develop into a serious relationship. You feel pretty certain that this man is someone you want to have in your life for a long time. Does he feel the same thing that you feel? What can you do to keep this man in your life?


Dating Questions

You go out to dinner on your first date with this perfect man. Because you haven't always heard back from men after a first date, you want to be sure you do the right things to continue seeing this guy. You are sure that what you want is a long term relationship with him. Answer these dating questions to see what would be the best option for you to get a second date.

"It's alright to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation." Dr. Rob Gilbert

Goodnight Kiss

How do you end your date to make sure you get the long term relationship you want?

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First Kiss

kristen stewart
kristen stewart

True Love

Dating Services

Questions Answered

  1. Should I have sex on the first date to keep him interested in me? No. Sex on the first date sends too many wrong messages. Even if you've been friends for a while, the dynamics of your relationship change when you start dating. You need to get to know him better, to bond as a couple before sex. He wants to be sexually intimate with you as soon as possible, so he will try anything and everything. Be mentally prepared to hold off so that when he does get what he wants, a lasting relationship has already been formed.
  2. You cannot invite him in for coffee and conversation even if he promises to be "good". Both of you are feeling emotionally charged, so kissing will start, and one thing will lead to another because you are only human. It is better to leave him wanting more.
  3. Stretching out the date is not always a good idea. If he invited you out to dinner and the place is really noisy, you might want to suggest getting a cup of coffee or dessert someplace else to have a chance to talk in a quiet place. Your goal on the first date should be to have a good conversation to get to know him, but it should end at that. The romantic kissing at the door is a very bad mistake because you are human and might invite him in. If you send him away after romantic kissing, he is leaving with mixed messages or frustrated--not good.
  4. You went to dinner and had a good conversation. Unless you knew him before this date, you may not even want him to walk you to your door. In fact, if you met on a dating site like, you should drive your own car and plan to meet in a well-lighted, public place. A coffee first date is not a bad option here. If you do get walked to your door, tell him you had a great time (once) and either do not kiss him or give him a short kiss goodnight. Leave him wanting more!

He Says He'll Call

When the first date ends, he says, "I'll call you," so what do you do?

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Second Date Call


Understanding Men

Getting the Call


Getting the Second Date

"You have no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself---and how little I deserve it." W. S. Gilbert Benchley

  1. Men usually don't like being chased, so don't call first. If you forget to say you had a good time or enjoyed his company, send him a text, "I had a great time tonight," within the hour after the date ended. If, after a couple of weeks, he hasn't called, you can call to invite him to some nonfamily event: "I have two tickets to (some) lecture. Would you like to join me?"
  2. Don't make this man you don't really know the center of your world. He wants a woman who respects herself and considers her time valuable.
  3. You can take the call if you are busy to tell him you're glad he called but you will have to call him back. Do not give him details about what you are doing. It is none of his business. Even when you call him back, make it short. If he tries to get you into a long conversation, make an excuse to get off the phone. You can talk on the next date.
  4. Letting the call go to voice mail when you are busy is a better choice. Call him back to find out why he called, but do not have a long conversation. Don't reveal too much about yourself to this man you hardly know.
  5. You can let his call go to voice mail or answer it. Either way, be happy he called but not overly enthusiastic. Keep the conversation short. He doesn't need to know your life story any more than you need to know his at this point.

If you go out on the first date on a Saturday night and he calls the following Saturday morning to ask you on a date that night, say "no" in no uncertain terms. He needs to know from the beginning that you are not available at his beck and call. Tell him you have plans and require a little more notice, even if your only plan is to sit in front of the TV alone. If he never calls again, he was not "the one".

Dating Activities

At some point he will ask you what you would like to do on a date. How will you answer?

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Action Chick Flicks

Make Choices

  1. If he is asking you for activity suggestions, you should have some to offer.
  2. In the beginning you want to let him know what types of things you like to do, so if going to a ball game is not your thing, don't suggest it. If he calls and asks you to a game, that's different; that's his selection, so once in a while that may be fine. The dating activities should be balanced, sometimes his favorites--sometimes yours.
  3. Most men and women have different tastes in movies. In early dating situations compromise and suggest a chick flick with action, for instance, like The Tourist.
  4. Offering several dating activities you would enjoy is good because it gives him a chance to be part of the choosing. Options could include dinner, an art fair, festivals, museums, dancing, movies, bowling, mini golf, the theater, a concert, skating, or a flea market. Keep the first few dates in public places and out of your home or his. Take it slow.
  5. You definitely don't want to suggest he take you to the most expensive restaurant in town. You want him to know you like him for him and not his money, or he will think less of you.


Mr. Right

Men like being men and chasing women. Give him a chance to chase you by not giving everything up to him immediately: your life story or your body. You don't have to answer all of his questions when you start dating. Do not give up your identity. No man is worth that. If all he wants from you is sex, he will be extremely charming and sexy to get you in bed. That's not chemistry!

“I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.” Lily Tomlin

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Comments 13 comments

Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 5 years ago from United States

You have a lot of great suggestions and insight for the first date. I think this is a helpful hub for those in that position.

Treasuresofheaven profile image

Treasuresofheaven 5 years ago from Michigan

You did a fantastic job sharing dating tips and information. People are overly anxious these days with the opposite sex. The polls were great too. I hope many women will read this Hub! When to have/not have sex??? Very nice - I saw this hub on Hubs main page.

Beverly Stevens profile image

Beverly Stevens 5 years ago from College Station Author

Thank you--I'm glad you liked it.

izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest

Overall,really good hub and advice. Most of the questions I answered "wrong", but I had a very fruitful and successful dating life. Never once did I not get the guy. Dating is tough to talk about because each scenario is so different for everyone. Keeping conversations short never happened for me if it was a really great date both of us felt chemistry. It's just important not to make something out of nothing or read into signs that aren't there. On the physical aspect, i considered mysel to be very prudent. Oddly enough, two men (one I'm married to) that I was intimate with rather quickly were my longest relationships. However, its best not to be physical too often on dates becaue I believe it inhibits women from reading true signs of chemistry by getting emotionally (physically) invested too often.

Overall, voted up!

Beverly Stevens profile image

Beverly Stevens 5 years ago from College Station Author

Thanks, Izettl. I like your last sentence about not being physical too often because it becomes hard to read true signs. The idea of keeping initial dates short and conversations short is to give yourself time to step away and evaluate--and, to leave him wanting more. You also don't want to tell a stranger everything about yourself which is what we women tend to do sometimes.

Insured Insurances 5 years ago

great hub!

izettl profile image

izettl 5 years ago from The Great Northwest

true, I can see your points. 4 years ago

Great tips and advice. Really insightful and helpful for dates out there. You took time to organise your article, which is really good. Very interesting and informative view on dating. Keep it up.

adam jhonsson 4 years ago

Great article! Lots of great tips and advice about first date.

darya 4 years ago

Nice tips and pieces of advice! Especially I liked those concerning sex on the first date, that it can't be permitted.

Two Of Us 4 years ago

Great article!

Simone 3 years ago

I love how we get to poll so thank you so much for this advice.

savvydating profile image

savvydating 3 years ago

Err on the side of caution, as someone said, and that certainly goes for dating. I enjoyed your hub, including all of the questions you asked of us. On another note, I wish men would not say "I'll call you," at the end of a date. There is no need for him to make an announcement. He will either call or he won't, so who needs to hear anything beforehand? Not me. Anyhoo, I digress.

I very much appreciated your useful insights.

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