Dating Sites: Where a Million Princesses Wait for Mr. Right

Unless you are a double for Brad Pitt, your surname is Beckham, Rooney or Wales, you men have little hope of meeting a mate on Dating Sites.

For the longest while, I thought it was all my fault: I was too old, too ugly, not rich; I had nothing, in fact, that was of interest to the 40 or 50 women I contacted.

Not that any of them bothered to write and tell me why or even thank me for my kind interest in their mug-shots or their badly worded and mispelled (in the main) descriptions. One thing that was for sure, though, is what they appeared to be after: friendship, humor, someone to share long walks along a moonlit beach, a dog or cat lover, yammer, yammer, yammer, had little or nothing to do with what they really were after.

As I say, I thought all the fault was mine and, if I were the type, might have become quite crestfallen about the situation. But I don't often do crestfallen, I just forgot about trying to meet someone this way.

Then I accidently found a whole slew of threads on Google with men complaining of the same treatment on "Plenty of Fish," and other sites. They said, in the main, what I had begun to suspect: That any half-way pretty girl gets hundreds of emails from blokes slavering over her lips and boobs, cunningly showing. Whereas blokes - unless they are like any in the opening paragraph - might be lucky to get a couple of replies in six months - of the gnaw the arm off variety.

The curious truth began to emerge. Women don't contact blokes first, unless they are Mr Pitt, etc., and what they are really looking for is someone younger than them in the UK, land of the Toy-Boy, (Yes you ARE!) and cute so they can show off to their friends. Or, of course, someone with big bucks to show them a good time.

So they sit and wait with their profiles up for years, fending off the horny legions who only want one thing from them, or are genuine, normal guys just looking for a date or a partner.

And what is so sad is few women meet Mr Right, either. The Rights of the world - comely young 6-foot, plus, males with plenty of sheckels and a permanent erection - get their pick of nubile young things with which to tarry and marry, and these jet-setter 10's don't need dating sites, either, they just go to Annabelles or another top club and women throw themselves at them! Or they get plenty of introductions from family, friends or work.

The majority of people that could benefit from dating sites, (discounting the sex-maniacs), especially in middle and older age, are folk who are alone and need a companion. Although they might not look like a film star; have the money of a ball player, they might have tremendous personalities, be great companions and modest providers. They would probably be loyal and true with the ability to make any woman looking beyond the superficial very happy indeed.

I have been on one date in two years from a dating site (POF). She was a beautiful older woman of my own age, give or take. The first thing she did was sneer at my 8-year-old car and tell me some long story about one prospective mate who had the termerity to turn up in a van. How awful! She slammed the door in his face, well, I should think so! (bitch).

We spent two days together, ate out all the time (In the Windsor area!). We did try sex and it was on offer, but I was too stressed and pissed to perform very well. She smoked constantly, stayed semi-drunk all weekend and lived in a condo with no furniture but ghosts (she said). Lucky I was an older, well experienced bloke - a younger man might have become a mysogenist for life.

Nevertheless, I think she does have some good qualities (if you owned a restaurant near her house you might really appreciate her) so I won't "name and shame" her.

It's just that women's expectations are far too high. And even if you don't, sweetheart, like the look or sound of the blokes contacting you, do, if they write a polite, considered note, reply and thank them. You never know, that frog emailing you today might turn into the prince who wins Lotto! (Anabelles here I come!).