Dating a Guy with a Past Addiction
So you met a guy and he is everything that you want in a guy. The only problem he did things in the past hat he is not too proud about. He tells you now that he is clean what do you do?
Some people say that people never change. They say once someone is an addict or starts doing bad things and has a problem that they will always have a problem. They say that they will always go back no matter how hard they try not to. Then there are people who overcame addiction and bettered themselves. What do you do if you find yourself falling for a guy who had a problem in the past but is better now?
If you are worried that he will go back to that life there is a good change that he might. If you do want this relationship to work you have to trust him because relationships are based on trust. You have to give him the benefit of the doubt that he is done with that life until you find a reason to be suspicious or catch him doing things that he should not be doing.
You cannot go reading into every little thing he does. You will stress yourself out and later on it could lead to anxiety and depression. If he does not respond do not assume that he is in the bathroom doing things that he should not be doing. People get busy and sometimes people do not answer right away or talk because they are in a bad mood. There could be a million reasons behind the reason he is acting the way he is. Do not associate every single thing he does now with what he did in the past. The past is the past focus on the present.
Be open and honest with each other. That is another way how you could trust each other. Relationship requires trust and honesty. If he is honest about everything else in his life then you could trust that he is not doing bad things anymore when he says he is not.
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Do not go places where he might be tempted to go back to that lifestyle. You could go to dinner and a movie with him but going to a party or a rowdy club might tempt him to go back to his old ways. Instead have a romantic date night just the two of you.
Communicate often so you know what goes on in each others lives. Share intimate details and open up. Do not be afraid to hide anything from each other. When you are in a relationship with someone you are supposed to be able to tell each other everything. That person should be your best friend. If you are with someone and you feel that you have to hide things than you should not be with that person. Once you share intimate details and are comfortable with each other you build the trust foundation.
Spend time with each other and see for yourself weather or not he has changed. Do not jump to conclusions without proof. When you spend time with someone you can generally get a good feel of what a person is about. If you are spending a lot of time with him and you feel that he is up to no good then go your seperate ways. It may hurt and you may love him but it is for the best you do not want someone who is into bad things he will only ruin your life as well as his. If you see that he is done with that life than give him a chance and continue the relationship.
It is not impossible for someone to change. It could be hard for someone to make that transition but there are people who have overcome addictions. If you love someone and sense that they have changed give them a chance and see what happens. Still keep your eyes open but at the same time relax and do not stress yourself out because relationships require trust and giving that other person the benefit of the doubt even during times when you are unsure.
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