How To Get The Kind Of Mate You Want

How to better your chances of getting a date....

There seem to be a great many people who can't seem to find a mate. I think perhaps those people might need some pointers to get them going in the right direction. So I have decided to start a new series that might help them out. I hope that if you see that I have missed something, left something out, failed to be detailed enough, etc, that you will PLEASE write a response to let me know:) I GLADLY accept feedback:)

First 'Rule' of trying to find a mate: You have to be what you want from someone else. If you want someone who takes care of themselves then you need to take care of yourself. Odds are that someone who puts effort into themselves is going to see that as an important trait for a mate to have. If you want someone clean then you must show yourself to be someone who is clean. You want someone who is physically fit... etc. Although there are cases where someone who really puts effort in in some area might want a different trait, it is definitely not as common as 'like attracts like' as far as we are speaking of here. Please keep in mind that we are trying to speak of healthy relationships. In a relationship where one person is a neat-freak and the other is a slob whom the first must always clean up after, that is /not/ a healthy relationship. If it seems to be a happy one then it is a co-dependant one, and well, if it is an unhappy one, that isn't what we are striving for here:)

So... you need to be what it is you want. If you think you would cherish that in someone else then why aren't you doing it? Odds are others would find it attractive in you too. No one becomes one of those 'doers' without actually making themselves do it. I have heard alot of people bemoan "but this is just who I AM. I just want to act naturally!". There is no such thing as 'naturally' as EVERYTHING you are capable of doing is something you learned at one time or another. It is your responsibility to cultivate yourself into a person you would really respect if you met that person in the real world. Would you be impressed with someone who used the excuse "but this is who I really am" to try to explain why they didn't do what was necessary to get what they wanted, and instead complained that they were without? That sounds like laziness to me. If you want your life to be better than it is, YOU need to be better than you are. That is true for every single person. There is /no/ excuse for inaction. Change how you think, and you will change your life!

If you want better you have to be better. If you want someone that is a certain way, then you need to embrace that way and BE it too. If it is important for others to be that way, then it should be important for you to be that way too.

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Mother Joann profile image

Mother Joann 8 years ago from Lake Stevens, WA

I liked what you wrote, sound like the thing we need to do. Very good advice.

Love

Mom

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