Just What Is a "True Friend"

No matter where we are, 'they' are there . . .

OUR TRUE FRIENDS. who come in all shapes, sizes, colors and heights. True friends.
OUR TRUE FRIENDS. who come in all shapes, sizes, colors and heights. True friends.

WRITER'S NOTE: (This hub is dedicated to a true friend on HubPages who one day asked me to define 'true friend,' to them.) Kenneth.



If God were to quiz me, "define the term, 'true friend,'" I would have to bow my unimportant head and reply, "Can't." "Please forgive me." Then with what would seem like a slow-motion moment, I'd say, "Besides you?" God might smile. I'd sure hope that He smiled. Laugh. Even be amazed at my fast-attempt to not be sent from His presence in shame for not being able to answer such a simple question.



Okay. Just what is a 'true friend'? For this moment, and those that might follow, I do not have a convincing definition. Now that I think about it, I crave to know the answer. Crave it more than water in the lowest level of Hades. Pretty desperate.



The term, 'true friend,' scares the wits out of me. Shakes my soul to its foundation. Causes tears to well-up in my blurry eyes. I simply cannot find the fit-all, suit-all answer. Now I wish I had attended college back when I had time. And the life to do it. Now I have little of both. Still plagued with the quest of deciphering what is a 'true friend'?



I suppose we all, at one time or the other, have found ourselves hopelessly bound heart-to-heart-to-mind with someone we didn't know that well. Understand that much. Or care to go deeper than their outer shell. That would be our first true friend when we were innocent. Trusting. And just accepting this new person in our lives that were unfolding in the sandbox.



Even at death's summons, we all can hear the clear sounds of us laughing uncontrollably and without barrier, with our newly-found confidant. He or she who has stood by us. Stood up for us. Even stood in our shadow when it was "our" turn to stand in the spotlight. Only a 'true friend' would do such things in a willful attitude. Not an everyday, garden-variety friend or those numerous, faceless acquaintances that come and go. Mostly go through our lives without leaving their names. Not that we would suffocate without them. Those types of friends if I may use that term 'friends,' here.



What is the make-up of a true friend? Like Coca-Cola, that secret must be locked-away in some secret indestructible safe somewhere in our vast universe, for I have never met a person who knew the answer to this question. What a day for Charlie Chan and Stephen Hawking to be out of the public eye. I could sure use their God-given gifts of intelligence and logic.



In this sad event of Chan's and Hawking's absence, I will attempt to give you my version of an answer to what is the make-up of a true friend.



First, a true friend has to be true. All of the time. Round the clock. Round the year. No room for a Judas-influenced friend in my life. Or yours. I just hate to be betrayed by those I call true friends. Actually there in front of your two eyes is a literary paradox: "betrayed by a true friend." Not going to happen. No true friend would betray anyone. Did Tonto ever betray the Lone Ranger? Or did Kato stab The Green Hornet in the back? No. Case closed.



Secondly, a true friend has to be able to accept you and I not just with a few of our character flaws and idiosyncrasies, but all of them. The whole ball of wax. The whole nine yards. I've made my point. And even if our true friend doesn't really how how to accept us with our flaws and hang-ups, they try hard as they can to make sure we see their efforts to "take us as we are." That gesture goes a long way with me.



Thirdly, a true friend will always tell us the truth. And I mean when it's much easier to tell us what we want to hear, they choose the hard way of being honest with us. Even though it means hurting us to open our eyes to a truth we cannot or will not see in ourselves. Or someone else. The task of being a true friend is not cushy. In fact, their job is tough. Very tough. Sometimes a true friend walks alone on the "Lonely Expressway" thanks to us not taking their truth and digesting it. After a few days, and we gain some wisdom at their truth aimed to better us, we invite them from the "Lonely Expressway" back to our lives. And then walk happily toward the next sunset.



Fourthly, and I gave homage to Mark Twain, who penned, "a true friend will give their life for us, but they will not tolerate our childish whimpers, moans and belly aches, for they do not have to put up with it." What Twain was delicately saying was, I think, our childish whimpers and such wasn't included in the "True Friend Package." And why should it?



And number five. A true friend will "go to bat" for us at anytime. Any place. Or allow themselves to be bruised by a bully's bat because "we" were much weaker and smaller to contend with such beasts. And do this without having to sit down with us and hear all of the facts big or small. True friends are just that way. Trusting to a fault.



In the now-nine months I have been a member of HubPages, I have been blessed, yes blessed, not lucked-out. Not fortunate. And not by random, blessed by God with some "true friends." People whom I would trust and do trust with my innermost secrets. Even my life. I am just sorry that I do not have the space to name all of my "true" Hubber friends. And some true friends who work for Hubpages. But I believe that "you know whom you are. And whom I'm referring to."



After all, that's all that matters. "You" knowing.



From early beginnings of our lives . . .

TO THE BITTER END. Our true friend is there all of the way.
TO THE BITTER END. Our true friend is there all of the way.

MORE INFORMATION ON TRUE FRIENDS

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Comments 22 comments

KathyH profile image

KathyH 4 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

Excellent hub! Voted up and awesome, beautiful and interesting! :) Amazing how much nicer life is with true friends in it! :)


hoteltravel profile image

hoteltravel 4 years ago from Thailand

Kenneth, your hubs are always refreshing and full of positive thoughts. Even when they are not humorous. Wish this world is full of people like you. Your hubs are oases in this cruel and thankless world. Voted up, awesome and beautiful.


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Kenneth, beautiful hub. It IS a blessing to have true friends and I feel blessed with the friends I have. Like you said, they know who they are and I'm thankful every day for them.


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 4 years ago from USA

What a beautiful and touchingly heartfelt hub. My siblings have been my closes friends growing up. To see that being passed on to my children, makes me proud. You hit the nail on the head when you gave your points on what a true friend is. That may be what makes them so special to us. I have met many people here at HP that over time have become close, falling into the category of 'true friend'. It saddens me when I have to take time from my friends here, but I know that when I come back, my friends will be waiting for me. Thank you for sharing this wonderful hub!


leni sands profile image

leni sands 4 years ago from UK

Thoroughly enjoyable read. Someone once told me that 'a true friend was someone who knew everything about you and still liked you' - My true friend and I have known each other for over 40 years, we went to school together and we are always honest with each other. She knows everything about me and knows how to put me in my place and vice versa. I have been with my current partner for almost 30 years and he is always honest with me even though sometimes his honesty is hurtful - I always forgive him afterall he is my soulmate.

Great hub, awesome writing, interesting and useful article. Keep up the good work. VOTED UP!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, KathyH, you are right, my friend. Life IS better with true friends. Besides Jesus, I wish I could afford to take MY true friend on a month cruise to the Bahamas, give them a new Bentley, a no-limit credit card and a meal from iHop. Every true friend needs to eat at this place. Great food. Great coffee.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

THANK YOU KINDLY . . .hoteltravel. And so are YOUR hubs, full of nice and positive ideas. I wish that people would start thinking more positive and speaking more positively. That by itself would make for brighter days.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, catgypsy, true friends ARE blessings and I am blessed beyond measure with my true friend in my world. The only drawback to having a true friend is me, not taking time to tell THEM how MUCH I appreciate them. Being human is not that great of a thing. "I" have many flaws and taking people for granted is something I am definitely working on. I promise.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Howdy, tl! I enjoyed your comment very much. Your comments make me realize just how blessed I am to have a true friend. I consider YOU a true friend along with many on HP, too many to list. I think that MY true friends know who they are. Some are so humble they resist thanks and praise. That is the mark of a true friend.

I strive to be that true.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear leni . . .YOU NAILED IT. Your definition of a true friend. You used the term: soul mate. I wish I had used that term in this hub. I may use it in a future hub, with your permission, of course.

Have a fun day, leni!

Kenneth


Jynzly profile image

Jynzly 4 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA

I don't think you can find a real "true friend" friend in the net...it won't be true; there is always an ulterior motive in finding the so-called "true friend" in the net...

A definition of "true friend" is a personal thing...you can only give and take in the net for what interests you and vice versa.


TENKAY profile image

TENKAY 4 years ago from Philippines

yes, you have defined well what a true friend is. I am very fortunate I found a true friend, a friend for almost two decades now. I might question my motives sometimes, but with her, I know, she has no ulterior motives that would harm me or anybody for that matter. Her acceptance of human beings' weakness is amazing, I, on the other hand is frustrated with these weaknesses, wanting change. There are hundreds of reasons why I consider her a true friend, my best friend. I am not that articulate to describe my deep most feelings, I'll leave it up to her. But an acquaintance describe us or me in relation to my best friend, "I am what she is not, and She is what I am not".


Sueswan 4 years ago

Dearest Kenneth,

My definition of true friend is you, Kenneth Avery.

Voted up and away!

Take care


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Jynzly . . .you are correct. In some cases. This hub is about a TRUE friend I found on the net and from the onset, they have always thought of me and others first before themselves. They always want to help ME, and not ask, "What's in it for me?" To me, that defines a TRUE friend. And yes, I have been burned, stabbed and betrayed by the ones YOU are talking about...thats why God created the "Cancel My Account" feature.

Thanks for the sweet comment. Please come back soon.

KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

TENKAY . . .nice to meet you. And thank you for your encouraging comment. Like I stated, there isn't one standard definition of a true friend, but we all have our own definitions. That's what makes TRUE friends great. And for me, I want to BE A TRUE friend to anyone who needs a true friend. Honest.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest Susan . . .you are way too kind. I do appreciate, with all my soul, YOUR remark about me, but YOU are the one who fits TRUE friend. I see MY own flaws and faults more than others and believe this or not, I have to work on myself everyday to be better than the day before. But thank you, DEAREST Susan. You are not only a TRUE friend, but a GENUINE friend as well.

Kenneth


Sueswan 4 years ago

Dearest Kenneth,

I think most of us see our own flaws and faults more than others.

I certainly don't see your flaws or faults. I know we both have them as we are human and humans aren't perfect. lol

I see a very kind, humble, compassionate and witty man who I am glad to have as a true friend. :)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

DearEST Sueswan, "I humbly thank you for this sweetest of comments that truly made me smile on March 12, at 11:51 a.m, CDST."

"I am beholding to you for all of your comments about me and the hubs I publish and I too, am blessed with YOU as MY TRUE friend, on and off of hubs."

Kenneth


Sueswan 4 years ago

Dearest Kenneth,

Your friendship is thanks enough. :)

Take care my friend.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

3/13

Dearest Susan,

It is my distinct PLEASURE to be friends with such a classy lady as yourself.

Sincerely,

Kenneth


Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi Kenneth,

Thank you my dear friend. The pleasure is all mine. :)

It is a beautiful sunny day here in Toronto.

I hope you are having a wonderful day.

Sincerely

Susan


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Dearst Sueswan . . .you are welcome. Anytime. A beautiful day in Toronto, great news! Glad for you. I am typing this at 11:52 a.m., CDST, March 17, and the sun is pouring in through the blinds in my workroom. I LOVE IT. Hope your day is going well, Susan. Enjoy your weekend. And BE CAREFUL. The handsome gents who cross your path may appear at any time.

Kenneth

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