Restraining Order Abuse 101

"Divorce Dirty Tricks" should not be used to estrange families or exact revenge.
"Divorce Dirty Tricks" should not be used to estrange families or exact revenge.

Rationale

Sadly, restraining order abuse has recently emerged as a very potent tool to gain tactical advantage in divorce. Those on the receiving end of restraining order abuse typically find it to be extremely disruptive in their lives, limiting access to their children and property.

A restraining order is a court order limiting the contact of one individual with another or, as in a case involving children, several others. This includes direct physical contact, phone and mail contact, contact in the home, contact at work, etc. For instance, a restraining order may prohibit a person from coming within 100 feet of their own home. These are brought on by litigants claiming they need protection from abuse or stalking from another person.

In the case of divorce, one spouse can file against the other, typically claiming domestic violence or fears of it. Unfortunately, many such cases are now being abused as a way to disempower the opponent and get the upper hand in separation and divorce proceedings.

Respondents find there can be both in difficulty seeing their children and even obtaining access to home, personal and even pre-marital property as is presumably guaranteed by the 4th Amendment . Criminal records can even be a consequence when parties do not understand all the legal implications of restraining orders used during divorce.

It is far easier for a party to get a restraining order now than ever before because federal laws have changed substantiallly within the last 15 years. In addition, many states have enacted other laws making for wide disparaties among the states as for abuse potential. Collectively, this greatly reduces the burden of proof needed to get restraining orders and otherwise exploit them.

These changes were made in a noble effort to protect domestic violence victims. However, they quickly came to the attention of unscrupulous divorce lawyers as well as savvy litigants .

The burden to prove that a restraining order is not called for or the terms of it are not reasonable has largely shifted to the recipient of it who must then fight for their rights through lengthy court proceedings and expensive legal representation. Often this occurs while simultaneously being homeless and having their personal property under the control of the accuser. Separation from their children during stages in the litigation can be very lengthy and lead to parental alienation. The resulting hostility between divorcing legal combatants can be tremendous and can certainly spill over to affect their innocent children.

This topic remains controversial because there is clearly a need to protect women (and some men) from domestic violence situations, however many restraining order injunctions appear to be misused as one form of "divorce dirty tricks" or as a method to harass the other party.

Recent Developments

As evidence that this kind of legal maneuvering has become widespread, a Wikipedia page for "restraining order abuse" has existed since April 2006. Wikipedia pages are community-policed repositories of knowledge used by many people. However, the neutrality of this particular page has been debated. Since those who really do need protection from abusers may lose their lives if they don't get it, there is considerable debate.

However, action to change these laws due to documented abuse of them could be eminent. The American Civil Liberties Union made many recommendations against the passage of these laws and also has experience in ways they are used to restrict civil liberties.

In the mean time, a variety of cases have come to light of restraining order abuse including accusations against talk show host David Letterman who defended himself publicly on his own show. Obviously, few average citizens have access to this type of publicity to defend themselves.

Mostly spearheaded by "Men's Rights" groups and "Father's Rights" groups, nonetheless women can find themselves at jeopardy fighting frivolous or heavy-handed restraining orders. Children remain estranged from parents accused ex parte (not present to defend themselves) while the divorce "family law" industry convolutes the intentions of the new laws and lengthy court battles ensue. Financial ruin also often accompanies those hog-tied by the new "legal machine" which requires substantial money to fund.

Divorce "Family Law" attorneys profit handsomely, so fuel thrown on top of domestic fire is often not spared. Cases involving accusations of domestic abuse take on a life of their own, usurping control from the original litigants and often going well beyond what even the complainant had in mind.

In addition, an entire industry of expensive visitation services has sprouted up, partly in response to the problem. Those accused in restraining orders typically have no other way to see their children than by paying large sums for supervised parental visitation. In such visits, a social worker takes copious and often critical notes on everything said or done by the accused in very artificial visits with their children.

Another effect of restraining order abuse is the tarnishing of the reputations of those accused. Having a restraining order on file puts a mark on one's criminal record which can prevent one from obtaining jobs, housing and other assets normally considered civil liberties. Even the credit reporting bureaus look unfavorably upon those who have restraining orders in effect.

How to Deal With Restraining Order Abuse

Typically, those dealing with restraining ("protection") orders must walk a very thin line while litigation is ongoing. This means insuring at great lengths that they make no contact deemed inappropriate that the complainant in the case and their lawyer(s) can use. These matters are considered criminal offenses rather than civil and any variance in strictly defined contact can result in jail time and criminal records.

It is not unknown for complainants to actually bait respondents into violating the orders in some way to gain legal advantage. For instance, telling them to "come on over" where a distance restriction is in effect. In addition, accidentally coming within X feet of the complainant's domicile can be considered inexcusable and subject for action. Or, in one case, a respondent opened the door to help his child enter into the domicile of the custodial parent resulting in his arrest.

When respondents need or desire property under the control of the complainant, sometimes including their own clothing, vehicles used for work, etc, extreme care must be used in cooperation with the local police department to obtain it. Involving the local police is called a "police assist" which is requested by the person barred from the home. A policeman goes to the domicile of the excluded complainant and the policeman can negotiate for the items needed. This may provide some relief, but any items claimed by the complainant as joint property can unilaterally be denied the respondent.

Any respondent in a restraining order case must comply with court orders and is forced to make do when property including that used for making a living is denied. Often, this can be done with acrimony and is used as a method to exact revenge. Ironically, in a divorce even the complainant can suffer monetarily if the respondent's finances become diminished enough to affect the final settlement or ongoing child support.

Finally, the divorce industry itself has entered into the fray they largely created by newly beginning to offer "Restraining Order Defense" as a service! Following this legal advice to the letter (and often paying dearly for it) is recommended.

One Man's Experience

One man, Ron Lasorsa, is a poignant example of an ordinary father accused falsely in a restraining order by his former wife. Blindsided by this false restraining order, he suffered:

  • Estrangement from his children (including mandated parental supervised visits)
  • An emotion-filled legal battle
  • Extremely expensive legal bills
  • A fight to clear his name and defend his reputation
  • The denial of access to his rightful property (including firearms).

He has detailed in an e-book (which I cannot promote as it is through Clickbank) his desire that nobody else suffers the pain he went through. (Hubpages declares that ClickBank abuses their Terms of Use.)

Amazon suggestions about divorce disputes

Conclusion

Restraining order abuse is one of the newest forms of twisting well-intentioned laws for personal advantage, particularly in divorce proceedings. Those fighting restraining order abuse often end up alienated from their children and isolated in an oppressing legal struggle that also limits access to their property sometimes including property they use to make a living.

Individuals subjected to the abuse are now banding together and fighting back. Books have now been written with instructions to deal with this "restraining order madness" and are available in hardback or online. Respondents now have information to defend themselves against this new class of "divorce dirty tricks".

Various organizations have sprouted up to defend against this type of abuse and the modification of these laws seems eminent. Sadly, this may result in chipping away at laws used by genuine domestic violence victims to defend themselves against true abusers.

See also "Divorce Dirty Tricks: Restraining Order Abuse".

and "Restraining Order Abuse 101"

More by this Author


Comments 41 comments

George Petrie 6 years ago

Restraining orders can also be acquired for matters other than domestic violence. I was the victim of an assault and battery. The defendant entered a plea of no contest and was ordered into pre-sentencing evaluation before the sentencing hearing. The defendant prepared a signed document which was presented to the court in order to obtain leniency. The document was signed by a friend of the defendant and reflected a completely different version of the events. When I heard about this I contacted the court clerk and asked if I could be present at the sentencing to address the judge and advise him that the document was perjured. The clerk's office responded that, as the victim, I had every right to attend any and all hearings on the matter. On the day of sentencing I appeared at the court and advised the clerk that I was in attendance. She had me sit at a table in the front of the court. Before the judge took the bench, I was summoned out of the courtroom by a civilian employee of the Police Department (victim advocate) and served with a Temporary Order of Protection that the defendant had acquired (that day) against me. I was ordered out of the building and was not allowed to testify. The restraining order hearing was held about a week later and the Hearing Officer dismissed the petition as soon as she reviewed it. She stated that it was NOT a domestic issue, should not have been allowed and was appalled that this person had been allowed to deny me my rights, under state statutes, to testify as a victim. In the meantime the defendant changed the plea to not guilty and the prosecutor, for what ever reason, decided to dismiss the charges. Note to all criminal defendants.....get a restrainng order against anyone who is going to testify against you!


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 6 years ago from Aurora Author

The disgusting fact of the matter is that restraining orders are at least as often as not used to deny civil rights.

I am looking to do advocacy to punish these judges who just sign any stupid claim put before them with absolutely no proof.


Melanie 6 years ago

I am a victim. My husband is keeping our kids from me amd ywisting every thing I hsve done or said into a threatening situation.

These judges need to read these aplications and see some proof.Now


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 6 years ago from Aurora Author

Melanie, RO abuse is now being publicised much more widely. I would suggest you get legal advice, if possible, because state laws differ widely.

The courts are not an effective place to make the distinction between true abuse versus "domestic contretempts", meaning bad, but not abusive behavior.

Please see

http://mensnewsdaily.com/glennsacks/2009/08/26/new...

I wish you the best luck.


Stacy 6 years ago

I think RO are a joke, I have been batteredand I have witnessed a man go thru hell that never hurt anyone over a RO. Some thing has got to GIVE. Why do people want to do this to each other? Do they think it is what's best for the children? I am all for helping Fathers see and get custody of there KIDS. My kids go to there fathers when they want to and let me tell you I love the time off.


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 6 years ago from Aurora Author

It's true that RO laws fail to protect those for whom they are intended and allow people to exploit others with false accusations. Read more at:

http://www.avvo.com/legal-guides/ugc/false-complai...

Thanks for your comment!


Jeff in NH 5 years ago

It happens all the time. My exgfriend took out an order against me because of animosity I had with her son. Ultimately she just didn't want me messing with him because I had information about his probation and possible violations thereof. She went to the cops with wild allagations and no evidence AT ALL. I was arrested, she won the protection order and I still face criminal charges six months later.


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 5 years ago from Aurora Author

Restraining order abuse is process abuse. There have been a few cases where a blantant liar gets thrown in jail, but it requires almost perfect record keeping on your part.

The only way I see this problem being fixed is if federal legislation requiring the states to collect some kind of real evidence of any wrongdoing.

These state laws are a hodgepodge and "this person has abused my mental health" does not cut it.

I wish you my best, be sure to be prepared to present a stout defense, get the probation records, etc.

I suggest you countersue if possible.


mjfarns profile image

mjfarns 5 years ago from Bloomington, Illinois USA

A very concise and meaty report on a terribly unreported subject. As the non-custodial parent in a bad divorce, I can certainly relate and appreciate the information. Thank you very much for putting this together!!


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 5 years ago from Aurora Author

I am sorry to hear that, friend. Why can people not divorce with anger? The best arrangement is for the child.


Bella DonnaDonna profile image

Bella DonnaDonna 5 years ago from New Orleans, LA

This interferes with my religious beliefs, however many people see as God the all-mighty dollar.


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 5 years ago from Aurora Author

True, most *divorce* lawyers are certainly interested in money over integrity.

(This is not to reflect on the many lawyers working to change unjust laws!)


Judy 4 years ago

What makes me mad is my bf n I have been the victims of abuse with our neighbors n now he's making it out to make us look like criminals so he puts a restraining order on us n abuses the system by provoking us n antagonizing us to react so we go to jail!!! He sat at the end of our driveway taking pixs of the inside of our garage while bf is 20 Ft away. This jerk lives next dr to us n no restricted footage. He's out to destroy us because bf wont sell his 1979 Z28Camaro back to him whom was original owner n had to sell due to a divorce, so he's taking it out on us after 27 Yrs,OMG GROW UP!!!!


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 4 years ago from Aurora Author

The best thing to protect your rights is to document everything.

Sadly, there is no law that has not been abused. Best of luck, friend.


Randy in Oregon 4 years ago

My ex wife has gotten her third year of a restraining order, and has asked hte judge to have it include exteded family, friends and aquaintces. Seriously it is absolutely abuse. The original restraining order had either exagerations or out right lies. The exact reason documented in the renewal, that the judge rubber stamped was" Randy attitiude had not improved and I fear unwanted contact. This is a restraining order Preventing family abuse!!I asked for a modification to allow my mother to be a drop off point for our child and was sumarily denied, my mother convinced to use her as a third party drop off, I went back cited 6 months of using my mother as a third party drop off and was sumarily denied the modification again. It acares me and I absolutely fear this corrupt system, There seems to be no voice for me and asking for modification has proven absolutely useless. If I fight it and I would loose, even the judge explained he prefers to err on the side ot the petetioner rather than have an incident occur. There is no re- course that I can see, and the judges in Deshutes County Oregon absolutely do not care to listen.


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 4 years ago from Aurora Author

Judges tend to use a CYA position. This is assumption of guilty plus denial to face the accusor. Greedy lawyers junp on these matters any time they can to create lengthy and profitable lawsuits.

Please see my other articles on this. Clearly an infraction of civil rights.


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 4 years ago from Aurora Author

Thanks. I once wanted to major in Journalism, but was too shy at the time. Now I understand many are routinely damaged physically. I try to do the best reporting as possible.

Hubpages has significantly reduced my income by denying ClickBank use. I look for alternatives, now, but HubPages does well for Amazon. Ebay I used, cost too much money for me to want and demands Webpage, which I cannot afford.

Sadly, I am now a true victim of domestic violence. I will publish exact details, because I don't lie for money. I can't understand people who do.

NOT that misreported abuse should be ignored!!!! My silence of late is recupery. Why cannot people get along, move on if there are problems, etc.

I have not left my stance on false reporting!! Never will!!

Thank you, Laura


Danyel 4 years ago

My husband's ex-wife issued a restraining order on me because I had to go to the hospital due to an emotional stress induced breakdown. She now claims her children are unsafe around me! I have my own children here with me and I think this is a ploy of her to try and get more child support due to these trips out of country with her boyfriend. What should I do?


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 4 years ago from Aurora Author

I advise two things:

1. Insure your and your children's safety first.

2. Get a lawyer and fight this RO. You can ask to delay the hearing if you need more time.

A local law student may be willing to answer questions. Each state's laws vary, but ROs must be based upon something tangible. A temp RO must be filed first. Be sure you have representation. Hospitilization, if it interferes with your ability to represent yourself, is reason enough.

There is a term "Habeus Corpus", which means you cannot be two places at the same time. If need be, get a writ of Habeus Corpus.

Good luck. I don't have enough information, don't know your state and county, and have minimal legal education.


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 4 years ago from Aurora Author

Keep all your hospital bills. Give her no information.

You could dig around for dirt on her. At hearings, request an expenditure report.

My ex goes far more places than I could possibly go after supporting his dead weight for 5-1/2 years.

Attorneys love contention with divorce and child support because the only God many of the have is $$$. Long proceedings, big charges.

The stupid people trying to squeeze money out of other people's pockets usually fail, because the attorney gets it all.


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 4 years ago from Aurora Author

Depending on your state, you may need to prove that you are getting professional counseling, that you are making progress, etc.

Tell her, you need more money out of that child support for these services, which SHE made necessary.

Child support is dependant on: Your income, your expenses.

Hopefully, with a reduction in child support, she will get the boyfriend to marry her. This is called FREEDOM to you.


justamom 4 years ago

what can be done when the abuser is granted the R O and continues to abuse and do everything in his power to put me in jail,this is an outrage.im on disabilty with a bad heart and a broken back i couldn't hurt anyone even if i wanted to ,but him and his new girlfriend just want full custody of my daughter so intent of paying support is out .i dont want money i want justice .for me and my child who every day live in fear of him.what can i do when the state says theres no funding avaible for low income people .good people but this man has the money to continue the abuse and hardship of his daughters mother .someone needs to take a stand for us good people who dont deserve this miss use of the law ,can any one help


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 4 years ago from Aurora Author

Justamom,

Help always varies by state. Contact your State Human

Services Division, but there may be many other resources, like curches.

The number of fake ROs have the system tied in knots! Now I know, because I realised I was not going to live if I did not get an RO against my abuser, who hospitalized me many times and nearly killed me. (Now cAnnot be found to be served!)

Judges do not have the time to commit, so you need some documentation.


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 4 years ago from Aurora Author

I suggest you get involved in the Kids Com First Coalition,

http://www.divorcecures.com/ and dadyjustice.com

The sad fact is that every state is different, practically mandating a lawyer under a heavily stressed system.


stopbogusoop 4 years ago

Please visit my petition on Change.org

I have become an advocate for change to stop this horrible abuse of innocent people. A bogus order of protection was filed against me by my bipolar spouse at the time. She completely recanted her story but only after she divorced me and destroyed my life. For all the details please see my petition and sign it after you read my sad story.

http://www.change.org/petitions/u-s-house-of-repre...

In my letter to my congresswoman is another link to a bipolar site where I wrote a detailed account of a legal system go mad. Thank you for keeping attention on this terrible abuse of innocent people and a corrupt legal system that permits this abuse.


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 4 years ago from Aurora Author

I would sign the petition, but cannot as I am not NY resident.

I feel your anger and resentment of this type of process abuse. The sad thing is that you have to see it through the horrendously slow legal process.

There is an organization RADAR at http://www.mediaradar.org/

(Respecting Acuracy in Domestic Abuse Reporting) that may help you. They have some localized information about each state, I believe.

Each state creates their own sub-laws, hoops, etc. The more you know, the better.

As far as selecting an attorney, ask how much experience they have in this type of case and what their rate of winning cases similar to yours is.

Don't waste money on anyone who cannot back up claims with client references.

Sorry, I had to learn the hard way also.


roselyn 4 years ago

Here is an amazing update for win ex back spell! I got up this morning as usual and got a phone call. From Harry !! After he done the spell for me 2 weeks ago, I started to loose faith because it seemed to take so long. Well anyway, we are meeting today for the first time in 6 months! Man I have missed him so much and I can not wait to meet him today! I'm so happy! I feel like a little kid that just got a new toy! Well, I must prepare for meeting him. I will write the blog later and tell you how it goes and i want the viewers to thank the winexbackspell@gmail.com With all the thanks a person can give, or visit his wabsite at http://winexbackspell.webs.com


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 4 years ago from Aurora Author

I'm not sure I understand, but I am glad everythingg is OK.


Bobbi in Cali 4 years ago

My mother in law told me and my husband that she had cancer and needed our help. We let her move to our property and install a manufacture home that she had put in our name. As soon as the home was installed she wanted us to divide our property and give her control of our land and we told her "No" that she was brought her so we could help her ...not let her take over our lifes. I really feel for my husband...this is his mother and she has totally ruined our lifes. She lied to the courts and told them that her son pushed her down and hurt her bringing into court pictures she took herself of a bruse she received from injections for back pain. The judge bought it and placed a restrining order against my husband and me for three years. She moved off our property in Jan. 2012 and is now stating that we kicked her off our property so she is claiming that we have violated the restraining order. Her allegations are all lies that we can prove...but we did that and ended up with the restraining order anyway. Because the courts have allowed her to file false allegations and get away with it by us being punished on our own property and restrained from areas of our own property I am truly concerned for this upcoming court date of her claiming that we violated the restraining order. Because the courts are so one sided and use the excuse of protecting the women and the elder....there is no justice as far as I am concern when it comes to restraining orders.....first come...first serve...horrible


jullian 4 years ago

I found kasabubuspell@gmail.com shortly after my husband told me he wanted to file for divorce. I was a desperate, sobbing, emotional train-wreck of a woman - and the fact that, the very same day, he admitted to having an affair wasn't much help, either...

But using a spell, I decided to give it another chance - and not only did kasabubuspell@gmail.com stop the divorce, also put a permanent end to his affair!!!!!! Jillian


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 4 years ago from Aurora Author

Bobbi, judges just seem to want to take the easy way out on everything and not check into valid reasons for ROs.


rally 4 years ago

I dated my wife for 6 years, when we were still dating after i have proposed to her and fixing a date for our marriage she stop calling, talking, and coming over to my place just 2 months before our wedding she told her friends and relatives that she

saw me with another lady and that I’m a lier so that wedding was automatically cancelled. When I go over to her place they tell me that she was not at home so one day a friend of mine told me about therapist oniha and told me that he can help me

win her love back. He gave me his contact and I contacted him, when I wrote he told me that she will come back to me that I should stop stressing myself and that I stop calling her and going to her place that she will be back to me. One weeks after

she started called my friends and told them she was sorry that she have missed me. And time when back to normal and now I am happily with her with one kid so contact oniha for your truelove and spiritual consultation Email: winexbackspell@gmail.com Thank you for your help oniha I am grateful.


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 4 years ago from Aurora Author

I'm glad you were able to work it out. A little faith never hurts, that is for sure.


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 4 years ago from Aurora Author

Saving a marriage is the best way to go. These spats can be over the stupidist things.

There was a guy I was married to a guy who looked at women and he said something like he was MARRIED, but not DEAD.

Ditto for women!


MARKMARK2 4 years ago

I am disgusted, fed-up and almost beyond angry at an ex I ordered to leave my home after a 4 year relationship where she never paid rent, carried her weight, drank heavily, lied and manipulated her family who never paid a dime towards here welfare or anything over the past 4 years.

Thankfully, I did not marry this person due to signs I saw with her very early on but thought with love, care and support - she would change.

I have custody of my son from another woman and always tried to put him first. I was hesitant to introduce this woman to our home because I am very protective of my son but figuring this 48 year old woman who had 2 children of her own, could possibly be a good, positive model for my son and; we could be good models for him in relationships. WRONG: I soon learned that she had given up her two children to marry a guy with money. Her children seemed to be affected by her in strange ways. Thankfully, they are grown now as I will try to explain the reason it may be thankful if not too late.

In November 2011 I told this woman to leave our home for not helping financially, drinking habits, deceit, and manipulating everyone, especially me. In March 2012, she finally saved enough to move.

She has a habit of leaving her ex's and leaving no forwarding address so that no claims can be made against her. Smart woman! Anyway, 30 days after she moved and she sees another woman in the passenger seat of my car, I received MY FIRST Domestic Violence Petition laced with all kinds of lies. She pretended to be very afraid of my and claimed threats to family, abuse, death threats, etc. This comes 30 days after being removed from my home. 10 Days later, my lawyer and I demonstrate to threats and the judge determined NO CREDIBLE THREAT - Dismissed!

At the end of that hearing, I got a chance to speak and only stated that I did not want Suzanne near my child, to stay away from us and to not be in our existence in any manner nor use anything having to do with me.

One month later, I receive a warrant for Stalking and Arrested. Seems that this woman was driving past me each and every day on her way to the local police to report threatening, following and hacking her computer. This policewoman was taken in by my ex's ability to lie, manipulate and distort truth as she has done with so many. I knew her better than anyone! Anyway, when asked to come into the police station to give a statement, I immediately went and told the woman officer that I have not done any of the things S claims but; I did go to her place of employment parking lot to take photos of her registration tags which were still being used with my address. I told the office I have a complaint in court to make her stop using my address and to change her DMV records because I do not want her in my existence. Because the ex made so many reports, the matter was at a point where the officer's superior would make the decision to seek stalking which he did. No problem, I was arrested which fueld this nutjob and her family, from viewing their online posts - bragging, laughing and threatening statements about me. This woman is 48 years old by the way and her family members are grown as well. Okay, so I'm looking at her bogus stalk clams and find out that the DA drops the charge indicating NO CRIME was committed. She forgot to dream up things in her report I guess. Okay, so now I survived 2 ROs lasting 5 months. Well, here come Ms. S again, this time with a CIVIL Stalking claim with yet another RO attached. Seems regardless that the DA advised her that NO STALKING occurred, she filed a civil stalk anyway in an attempt to get a free check. During this order, she really went nuts. I mean doing things like calling my phone to leave voicemails of her having sex and then her and her 22 year old daughter posting online taunts about it - also, during the life of this 3rd RO she pulls over troopers on the highway to say I am gesturing towards her or that I passed her on the highway.

Okay, Ive put up with this weirdo all summer and we make it to the hearing for Civil Stalking. Wow! She and her attorney pulled out all the stops (unaware that I decipered the entire discovery reports). Her stories became violent and perverted.

According to her testimony in court, she was punced in the mouth (the police never came to my home except for when I called them on her due to her drunkend abuse - I had the police record) she on the other hand had nothing no photo (she is the cellphone queen) no medical evidence and no injuries. She also claims I via her attorney, I sent her nude photos (I still had her photo of her standing in a mirror taking a full nude pic with her cell phone in her hand). She had no nude photos of me. She stated I chased her through town after work one day while she was on the phone with 911. My electronic records verified that I was at an AMTRACK station in another state at the time she testified about this imaginary chase scene.

In the end, the judge determined once again, no credible threat. Futher, because she and the DA (who was present at the Civil Stalk) had a dispute about the reason the stalk charge was nolle prossed - MY EX CLAIMS it was dismissed due to police error (How insulting to the local police department who went all out for her and she claims they were incompetent under oath). Further because the discovery revealed several male officers who responded to her many phone call about my stalking, the gents made accurate reports but she never went into much with them because she stated, SHE was working with the female officer. Anyway, her reports differed so much from what the discovery reports showed versus her testimony, items were quoted in the final order. I am convinced evermore that the RO process is an extremely dangerous tool for those who cannot afford a good lawyer. People like S need to be screened for psychiatric issues before being granted an RO.

This woman has lied to judges to obtain ROs, lied / manipulated the police to gain a Stalk Arrest, lied to troopers on the highway, Lied under oath with her false and clearly perjury statements in front of the DA and Judge during the civil case.

She should not be permitted to go freely with all the lies she has deliberately and knowingly gave under free will. All summer long? Seriously? How in the hell can a court of law treat people fairly if, especially if it is clear that this false victim lied on purpose.

I beleive I will be speaking to an attorney about her constant misued of law enforcement, judges and court system all summer. She cost me a lot of money out of vengence for removing her from my home. The only good that came out of it is the obvious, my freedom, but my home, my peace, my son's happier than he's ever been and our comfort in kowing we no longer support a seemingly sociopath.

To restore my faith and confidence in the legal system, I would like to see this woman punished but my attorney, though the sweetest person in the world, she is much too nice to want to go after her for anything else other than clearing my name.

The risks this woman placed my son and myself at is incredible. She continues to scheme but I am hoping to move forward with something more against her - to stop her fom doing this to another man who may do nothing more than want to help. I worry she my convince some nut(s) to move against my child and I OUT of one or several of her many lies. She does the victim role very, very well. This woman is clearly a danger and needs to be stopped. Thanks for letting me vent - incidently, all of this is fact with all court orders to back it up as fact!

Love with care people, love with care!


stressedfatherincan 4 years ago

i broke the law last year and she used that against me to get a Protection order (even though it has nothing to do with violence or her) shes successfully got a sole custody and sole guardianship order while i was in jail. i was denied a legal aid lawyer because they told me straight up "you have no chance of winning" so i had to sit back and listen to this psycho woman abuse me in court and I couldn't do nothing about it except cry my eyes out.


david green 4 years ago

my wife currently has a temp ro,,she has not been truthful since,,thus falsely accusing me of contact, and third party contact,,it is my understanding that she has used technology to her advantage and has had fake phone calls and fake texts come to her phone with my number,,will official phone records be able to vindicate me/, and how can this not be somethng that police investigate and verify before warrants etc. are issued?...dtg1863@yahoo.com


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 4 years ago from Aurora Author

Hi David,

It is very difficult to falsify phone records, in my understanding.

However, it is very easy to fake e-mails. I am not sure about twitter.

If I were you, I would change passwords for any computer account

that can text, as she might know your password.

Police SHOULD be able to investigate, but may not have time or

expertise. Judges do tend to believe accusations that cannot be

proven, sadly, in fears that if wrong, they will be held accountable.

Home phones are heavily regulated for fraud. Cell phones are less,

but cell towers can identify calls that could NOT have been made.

I wish you well and know that you can petition to identify fraudulent

statements. If you prove them, certainly prosecute the perpetrator!


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 4 years ago from Aurora Author

Sorry to hear about this. Violating the law does put you in a position of appearing to have bad character and vindictive people certainly take advantage.

Once your debt is repaid to society (by jail, fines, etc) you THEORETICALLY should be clean. However, these days, many companies make readily available all judicial information, even when it has been "expunged".

Best of luck and stay out of trouble. You can work your way out of this situation, but that will likely take time.

Sadly, vindictive ex's make the most of opportunities to exploit such errors in judgement. Try to make her understand that your relationship with your children is important to THEM (which it truly is).

Best of luck!


Dave12345 3 years ago

I personally know an unscrupulous lawyer who would routinely tell women to make up allegations of abuse and/or threats to get their husbands thrown out of their homes in divorces. What women do to men in this country and how the courts and our laws assist these women is an utter disgrace and unconscionable.


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 3 years ago from Aurora Author

It also works the other way--men do the same to women. Either way, it is a disgrace and needs to be stopped by the legal system. Unfortunately, in a he-said, she-said system, how?

There is no wonder that the police hate most of all domestic violence calls!

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