Do Men Think Insecure Women Are More Attractive? What Men Think About an Insecure Woman
Okay...so maybe not all men would go for THIS secure
Are you part of the insecurity epidemic? Take charge and gain confidence with this no-nonsense approach to learning how to appreciate yourself.
Recent surveys suggest that men may find insecure women more attractive than secure women. All I can say is – seriously? How many men really think this? Sure, certainly some men appreciate the “wilting flower” who needs to be protected and taken care of, the demure belle who clings to you and constantly seeks reassurance of your love, or – on a more cynical note – the uncertain woman who is particularly easy to manipulate may gain the attraction of a less-than-wholesome type of man who needs to be able to control or crush something in order to feel the proper level of machismo.
Does This Sound Familiar?
Men, if you’ve ever been in a relationship, and certainly if you’ve ever been married, you’ve probably heard this: “Does this make my butt look fat?” Substitute some other anatomical characteristic if you like, but almost every man has had to hear those onerous words – and wished they’d feigned deafness previously in preparation for this moment.
Wouldn’t it be nice to never have to hear those words again? Would you prefer a personality that says, “I’m sexy, I know it, and I’m going to show you just how much I can make you want me,” or would you rather, “Oh my God, I’m up to 120 pounds. I am so disgusting, don’t touch me or you’ll realize just how undesirable I am.”
Think About This For a Moment…
Whether it’s a hot date or a scenario after 20 years’ of marriage, you tell me (seriously, I don’t know, I’m a woman and purportedly straight), which is more appealing to you?
Scenario #1: The woman who waits in the shadows for you to notice her. She desires you with all her soul, but nothing outward will ever hint at that. You keep watching football – as far as you can tell, she’s ignoring you. Suddenly you’re the most horrible man on earth, how could you not notice those silent, invisible signals she sent to you from under that bulky bathrobe while she was reading the newest home decorating publication?
Scenario #2: She wants your attention. Rather than waiting her turn, she approaches you with a passionate kiss and fire in her eyes. She wraps her hand around certain anatomical features you’re rather fond of, and her body language readily suggests that that tongue has many talents aside from kissing.
Then, Ladies, think about these tips for building confidence if bulky bathrobe lady is uncomfortably familiar....
And the Next Scene
Whether you’re intimately connected with bulky bathrobe lady or she of the talented tongue, eventually one thing leads to another and you’re both ready for the next step. Men, which one sounds most appealing?
In the midst of passionate kisses, she interrupts the progress of your trembling hands to insist that all lights be extinguished before you get anywhere near the sash on that bathrobe…and don’t touch there! Your sensitive fingertips might detect one of her many imaginary flaws if you dare venture too far. Never mind that you don’t give a rat’s south end about a stretch mark or two, or maybe a touch of weight around the waistline – no! No matter what your feelings on the matter, you must not see any obvious proof that she’s not an airbrushed supermodel. Once in the wondrous throes of passion – she has to stop and bemoan her lack of physical appeal, and how she’d be willing to please you so much better if only THIS were like THIS, or she acted a little different, or liked something that you honestly aren’t even bothered by.
On the flip side – it doesn’t matter if you’re in the bed, on the couch, on the floor in the middle of the hallway, resistance is futile. She has your attention, and she is going to reward you for having it in the right place. She is well aware of the benefits of sumptuous curves and soft thighs, and she won’t hesitate to show off every one of those advantages to you. Whether you want to sit back and relax or actively show your appreciation for various bodily regions, she’s more than willing to soak up the attention and focus her efforts on your body instead of obsessing over her own.
Okay, so maybe I am just a woman, and a purportedly straight one at that. Enlighten me – what exactly is more attractive about an insecure woman? Insecure women may be extremely beautiful, but the attitude with which they approach their body, and others who might be intimate with it, can be a much bigger turn-off than any physical attributes or flaws (imagined or not). Being a chronically self-conscious person, I’ve been able to see what damage low self-esteem has done to my relationships, and just how much better they can be if I just act like I’m a perfect 10.
Remember, a man doesn’t want to hear that you’re fat, or that your hair looks funny, or that this mark or that detracts from your appeal – hey, this guy entered into a relationship with you despite all that. If women didn’t mention it, then they’d probably never even notice! Ladies, you were able to inspire hard spots in the nether regions, and whatever “flaws” you think you have certainly weren’t show-stoppers. It’s difficult to understand how pointing them out could be in any way more attractive than gearing all attention and energy to pleasing your lover.
Studies also state that the vast majority of women are insecure about something, and most of them are physical. If you'd like to share with us, please post below regarding which insecurity in your significant other (or past "others") has been most annoying to you. Feel free to also state your opinion about the assumption that men are more attracted to insecurity -- I'd love to know!
Sorry, one more from this guy -- I love what he has to say about beauty
- Expecting Your Partner to Boost Your Ego to Assuage ...
A look at why it's unrealistic to expect your partner to boost your ego if you're feeling insecure, and some of the damage that codependent behaviors can do to a relationship.
- Top Three Reasons Older Women Resent the Younger Wiv...
Younger women in age-gap relationships often encounter many obstacles...including older women who may feel affronted by that relationship. Here are three reasons that older women may view these relationships with disapproval aside from societal bias.
- What to Do When Your Significant Other's Friends Int...
Prying friends can be a death knell for relationships. Here is one approach you can take when your significant other's friends try to interfere with the relationship.
- How to Minimize Disagreements with Your Husband: Tip...
Do fights leave you just wanting to get your husband back? Are you unhappy with constant disagreements, or want to prevent a divorce from too much fighting? Here are a few tips for fighting less in a relationship.
- The Definition of Cheating in a Relationship: How to...
Cheating in a relationship comes in many different forms. Is it cheating, or is it harmless? Here are some guidelines for determining if certain actions are truly infidelity or not.
More by this Author
- 0Why Parents Interfere With Relationships: Should Parents be Interfering in Their Children's Relationships and Marriage?
Many parents feel entitled to interfere with their adult child's relationships or marriage. Why is it that so many parents still don't feel their adult kids can make their own decisions?
Native American women kept the home and commanded the highest level of respect for their wisdom and skills. Unlike the gender roles assigned to European-descent women, many Native American societies were largely...
The basic considerations for building a pig pen start with knowing what it's going to be used for, the size of the breed you plan to raise, and the number and age of animals it's intended for. Here are tips for how to...