Do Real Men understand Real Women OR Visa Versa?

Reality or Virtual Reality

No matter where you meet up men are different from women. Yes they are. And the difference is visible even on hubpages.Just take a look at all the profiles on your fan club!

Men and women have their own styles of thinking and writing. I don't know about you, but if you think that men can't write about relationships and women can't write about technology, it would be the general accepted stereotype.

The fact is that there is a fundamental difference between the way out brains are wired. This difference is visible as young as one and half years old. It may also have something to do with conditioning. How does one react to a baby girl - aww so sweet. How cute!

Similarly how does one react to a baby boy - hey champ! How are you doing buddy. Wanna give me a punch? The messages that the babies get are so different. The initial reactions build our attitudes. Girls are conditioned to be sweet, cute and submissive. Guys are taught to be rough and tough.

Do remember the adge "Boys don't cry!"? What a horrible message to give to a two year old who has cut his toe on broken glass. He is taught to stifle up his hurt and all other emotions. So by the time he has to demonstrate his love, he has no clue how to express himself.

A real man is told not to share his emotions by society. A real woman is told to be loving and caring and sacrifice everything for family and home. Both have different priorities and both can be rather confused about what they really need to do.

That's where the differences get difficult to handle without communication. As long as you leave a line of communication open there is hope for the two to actually understand what the other wants. The minute you say "If he loves me he will know what to do" you are expecting the man to be a mind reader. Which is totally unfair on him.

At the same time a man can not expect his woman to be just like his mother. That was ideal for the last generation and things have changed drastically since 30 years ago. So giving her enough space and freedom to do her thing is a big plus point.

Plus at a young age love, lust and infatuation have a way of getting mixed up so badly that the hormones are jumping all over the place. This does have a tendency of getting cured once you are in a long term realtionship. So there's something positive to be said for marriage.

I feel it is possible to understand a Real Man and Real woman, but it does take time, patience and a willingness to communicate. Without that there is just confusion, misunderstandings and total chaos.

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Comments 32 comments

guidebaba profile image

guidebaba 7 years ago from India

My idea is that real and mature men do understand women. Ofcourse, there are women who are not understandable.

Namaste from Kolkata !


livewithrichard profile image

livewithrichard 7 years ago from Charleston, SC

Good subject Cashmere. You are right, having open communication in the relationship is the key to success. Developing the right communications skills is essential prior to marriage. After marriage is too late because then expectations seem to take precedence and then become habit.


BrianS profile image

BrianS 7 years ago from Castelnaudary, France

Ah yes, good communication is the key to succeeding in many scenarios and never more so than in personal relationships.


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

Communicating is good for all relationships. I agree Richard and Brian


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 7 years ago from India

I wonder why we invest so much in trying to 'understand' the other gender. Might be easier all around if we accepted that we're different and just tried to get on anyway!


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

Fantastic idea FP!


sabu singh profile image

sabu singh 7 years ago

All I can say is that I have generally found it difficult to understand women - and I am sure the women I have known have found me impossible. But what would this world be without women?

C'est la vie !!! Viva le difference


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

Celebrate the difference is what we do every day we live Sabu. Specially if you are married.


Gypsy Willow profile image

Gypsy Willow 7 years ago from Lake Tahoe Nevada USA , Wales UK and Taupo New Zealand

Interesting and thought provoking. Thanks


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Yes, I have always been interested in the role playing we teach our children when they are very, very, young. Well described by you. Thanks.


Candie V profile image

Candie V 7 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

Do men think it's harder to understand women, than women think it's harder to understand men? Which try harder to understand the other? Why do women (sorry if I generalize) think they need to change their man? All interesting stuff! Thank you for this hub!


GeneriqueMedia profile image

GeneriqueMedia 7 years ago from Earth

Interesting. I'm in love with gender theory. For me, while I understand that the masucline and feminine brains are wired differently, this has very little impact on how you function in society.

But as you mention, the conditioning you receive, is the true dictator.

Thumbs up!

G|M


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

totally agreed...all the way...completely...nicely done...Thank You... :o) hugs


ESAHS 7 years ago

"Nice personal hub!"

"Two thumbs up!"

CEO E.S.A.H.S. Association


Ellandriel profile image

Ellandriel 7 years ago from Portugal

All relations should be based on friendship, from that look for understanding, dialog a lot, always talk and never let anything inside ones mind growing roots and miss understandings.

My husband is my best friend, we try to understand each other cause we are friends most of all....


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

I agree Ellandriel, friendship is a great start to any relationship between men and women.


tony0724 profile image

tony0724 7 years ago from san diego calif

cashmere there are some good points here , I would like to add one more , TRUST . Trust Is not a given ,It has to be earned and one of the ways you do that Is exposing yourself {No Not that one ! } Little by little . And also I do believe that It Is completely unfair for a woman to expect a man to completely be remodeled once they are a team , and vice versa . Life will do that to both over the course of time .


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

Trust is vital. I can't imagine being in a meaningful relationship without it.


kiran8 profile image

kiran8 7 years ago from Mangalore, India

The stronger a person is, the more difficult it is for him or her to be understood. The man woman relationship is the most complicated and it needs a lot of understanding and compromise from either side to succeed and become meaningful..


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

Compromise is the word kiran!


Philipo profile image

Philipo 7 years ago from Nigeria

Very informative.


Reena Daruwalla 7 years ago

It is like that Mel Gibson movie, many guys do not 'get' What a Woman Wants, but then some learn. Or not; at their own peril...


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

That was a good movie!


dianacharles profile image

dianacharles 7 years ago from India

Nice hub cashmere. :)

Books like Men are from Mars, women from Venus..do help us understand the opposite sex. I like the air of mystery..why should we provide maps for men? :P


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

That's so that we don't have an accident diana


AlexK2009 profile image

AlexK2009 7 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland

interesting hub. Trust is important but what you trust is important. In a conventional relaationship you trust each other not to be unfaithful, in an open relationship each trusts the other to come back and try theur utmost to be there when needed.

Generally speaking each has to trust the other to be honest. Honesty is difficult.


cashmere profile image

cashmere 7 years ago from India Author

Honesty is what makes it work!


Mike_RealEstate profile image

Mike_RealEstate 7 years ago from CA

Good article


Bonnie Elia 6 years ago

Honesty, communication, trust, and compatibility is key for a good relationship. Men and women are different and the differences can be dealt with, if you are willing to make compromises, and talk out a problem. The best kind of relationship is when you do not control each other but come to a compromise where both parties are happy. There should not be a fear of the person, and they should have fun by teasing, making each other laugh and not hold grudges when you do argue.


cashmere profile image

cashmere 6 years ago from India Author

Very true Bonnie.


whoisbid profile image

whoisbid 5 years ago

I think hormones are incredibly strong and they cloud people's ability to reason in both men and women. I believe that if we know we are all weak then at least we have got past the first step of denial

Nice piece you made btw


cashmere profile image

cashmere 5 years ago from India Author

Yes we are what our hormones dictate, but we are a whole lot more. Thanks for stopping by

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