Do Real Women Wear Jeans?
The closest thing you can get to a 'real woman' these days...
There's a gazillion articles defending men wearing panties here, the underlying point of which is that men should be able to be whatever they want and be whatever they want. Women's rights have been around in the West for almost 30 years now (Swtizerland just got around to giving women the vote in 1982), and ostensibly, women are much better off than men when it comes to the right to do and be whatever they want to be.
However the women's rights movement has caused a backlash amongst some men who claim that Western women are no longer 'real women'. Their failure to be submissive to men is seen as being a crime against their femininity, and often times these men look to Asian cultures where women are seen as being less liberated and therefore more feminine. (I'm not sure how true this is in all cases, and have no doubt that many men who do seek women from other cultures for their submissiveness are often unpleasantly surprised.)
Common complaints about women who fail to meet the standards of femininity include:
Women don't dress like women, they dress like men.
Women are loud and overbearing.
Women are too opinionated.
These complaints seem to presume that women are here for the complainers personal pleasure and enjoyment and not their own. These complaints seem to infer that a woman does not have equal status with a man and should realize this and simply do her best to make herself pleasing. Keeping herself pleasing evidently includes dressing 'like a woman', keeping her mouth shut and agreeing with any man within a 5 mile radius.
The reality of such a proposition seems to smack of Stepford horror at best. Does real femininity equate to weakness? Should a real woman have to wear skirts? Should a real woman have to flaunt her sexuality as being her prime asset? Should a real woman have but few thoughts and a raging libido? And if she were all these things, would a 'real man' want her?
One notices that men who complain about women who aren't 'real women' tend to be overbearing in their desire to be able to control women. They're often men who have been hurt in relationships and who lash out at women because of the vulnerability they feel when they begin to fall for them emotionally. These men have a hard time trusting anyone and therefore instead seek control.
We're not talking about the fun kind of control games that men and women sometimes play in the bedroom either, we are talking about self esteem destroying control games that can spiral into abuse and violence if a man begins believing in his right to control too completely, if he buys into the fantasy he has created.
Obviously the idea of 'real men' and 'real women' is a false one. However it is a myth which persists to the detriment of our happiness. We should love and accept people for who they are, and not the first chromosomes that show up on a DNA test. We should judge people by what is in their hearts, not by what clothes are on their bodies. We should come to accept the fact that love involves risk and love can hurt, but true love doesn't require control to flourish.
Eventually we may all get to their point where these things are self evident, in the meantime if the words 'real man' or 'real woman' come up in conversation, slap the speaker and run away.
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