Relationships and cheats, Does Mr or Mrs Right really belong to someone else

A fitting punishment?

A philanderer?

Playing the field
Playing the field
We usually think of only men being bigamists but these days that's not true.
We usually think of only men being bigamists but these days that's not true.
Are there signs that he normally wears a ring?.
Are there signs that he normally wears a ring?.
Look for signs that he is cheating on you
Look for signs that he is cheating on you
Is he really telling the truth?
Is he really telling the truth?

How can you find out if someone is already married?

So having met Mr, or Mrs, Wonderful and decided that he, or she, is right for you, just how can you ascertain that this person is not already married?

Well as my old Mum used to say "There's more than one way to skin a cat". What the hell that means, and where that saying came from, who knows. Perhaps there is another question there?

What I do know is that this saying is basically stating that, there are many options usually available in any mission. So, in order to find out if a person is married, or is not, what should you do?

Right this applies to both men and women but for convenience I shall say him, he and the like. Just as men refer to their cars and ships as a female, I shall use a male as my example.

Silly things to do if you are researching a man's marital status

  1. Stalk him. Dress in a disguise and follow him everywhere he goes. Sooner or later the truth will out.
  2. Ask all his friends and acquaintances for intimate, personal details.
  3. Check his left hand. Even if he is not wearing a ring, there may be the faint mark of a ring being worn usually.
  4. Assess his ability to use a washing machine, iron and dishwasher. If he has no idea how to do so, then the odds are he has a wife who is doing the chores for him.
  5. Does this man know what a vacuum cleaner does and can he operate one? Again a dead giveaway as to whether or not he is married.
  6. Pay close attention to what he says. A little slip up here or there may reveal that there is a Mrs Right already waiting at home.
  7. Administer a truth serum.
  8. Try forcing him to take a lie detector test.
  9. Hire a private investigator.

Of course 4 and 5 above do not apply in the case of females.

OK, so what about some sensible methods for checking a person's marital status? Well spying on them and paying attention to what they say can be seriously useful in your quest. However there are easier options:-

  • If the person in question is local contact your local Registrars office. In the UK this is where births, marriages and deaths are registered. In the USA you would need to check with the courts and the records they hold.
  • Research such records online. These days it is possible to search the records of many countries without the need to visit.
  • Is he secretive? If he is he may be hiding a wife.
  • Does he willingly share his family details and personal history with you, and are you sure it is the truth?.
  • Has he taken you home to meet his family?.
  • Is he always disappearing, often for considerable periods of time?
  • Is he only ever available at specific times of the day and week?
  • Are you able to talk freely to his close friends and family?
  • Is he quite happy to take your calls at any time of the day or night, or does he simply call you back?
  • Are you sure that you know exactly where he lives and who he lives with. You could check the electoral roll, in the UK, just to be sure.
  • Sneak a look over at the inside of his wallet to see if there are any family photos or ones of children.
  • If you have his address turn up at his house on the spur of the moment uninvited.
  • Have a good nosey when you visit his home. There may be tell tale signs that he does not live alone. If he was innocently sharing his home with someone he would no doubt have already told you about this.
  • Does he often smell of a lingering female perfume?

Overall

It can be very hard getting to the bottom of some one's lies. Many liars have spent years developing their craft and lie well. In fact, it may be the only thing that they are proficient at.

Gut instinct can play a part. Sometimes you just instinctively know that everything is not what it seems. However, not everyone has such good instinctive reactions plus some people are very plausible when lying. There are many men and women who simply play with people's affection and do not give a damn who gets hurt along the way, as long as it is not them.

Stay vigilant and look out for any signs that a wife or husband may be waiting at home. If you are in doubt schedule some meetings at rather inconvenient times of the day and at the weekend, making sure that you give as little notice as possible. Most married people find it hard to be readily available at the drop of the hat and at any old time of day.

Use a common sense approach and make sure that you are not too trusting from day one of your relationship. Trust needs to be built up over a period of time. Limit what information about yourself you share with your partner until you feel confident in your assessment of him or her.

After all if he or she is a liar and a cheat who knows what else they may be up to. It is far better to err on the side of caution initially rather than have to pick up the pieces of a disastrous affair months or years down the road.

Honesty is the best policy?

In this life we often have to trust our instincts. We also often have to take people on trust. This can mean that, if we believe a person to be trustworthy, we have to take their word, on what they tell us.

Now the older I get the more realise that many people are just not honest. What words come flowing out of their mouths when they open them to speak may be nothing like what actual words are going through their heads. There are all too many people these days that have few morals and think nothing of lying.

Unfortunately this can be true of the way some people behave as far as a relationship goes. Let's face it these liars must often be plausible. If they were not we would never encounter bigamy.

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Comments 5 comments

AllMomNeeds2know profile image

AllMomNeeds2know 6 years ago

Men are such a mystery most of the time to me. I'm married and I still don't get them :)


ethel smith profile image

ethel smith 6 years ago from Kingston-Upon-Hull Author

Too many Mr Rats Tracy


Tracy Mason profile image

Tracy Mason 6 years ago from Ayrshire

I was lied to in a previous relationship, things just didn't add up and I became a full time slueth and in the end it turned out he was married. The thing is now, I feel the need to investigate everyone. I used to feel that people were innocent until proven guilty, now everyone is guilty until I can prove them innocent. Trust is thing that needs to be earned. Great hub !


ethel smith profile image

ethel smith 6 years ago from Kingston-Upon-Hull Author

Too right tiadd. Thanks for stopping by


tladd profile image

tladd 6 years ago from teresaladd40@comcast.net

Trust can be very costly. There's too many people out there looking to take advantage of trusting souls

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