Does Spanking a Child Encourage Domestic Violence or Abuse?

Thus hub involves both relationships between partners and relationships between children and parents. The dictionary defines a spank as : a blow with the open hand; a slap.

A blow? Sounds quite powerful does it not? This is where it all begins. Recently in New Zealand, a referendum asked the question: "Should a smack as part of good parental correction be a criminal offence in New Zealand?” This was met with mixed reactions as parents feared that they could be found guilty of abuse by lightly disciplining their children with, let's say a smack on the hand, or a smack on the bottom. 87% of the people voted no, and the Prime MInister John Key and Labour Party leader Phil Goff refused to vote in the poll.

The Prime Minister himself agreed that a light smack was not a criminal offence and I believe so too. Years ago, a smack was given as discipline. In today's society, a smack is unlawful and if found guilty, the punishment could range from a fine to a jail sentence.

Some parents however could take a light smack to a new level. A recent advert on national television shows a man that believed beating up people meant he loved them. This was a bad trait inherited by the man's father. This guy was married and had children who he beat up and still believed it meant love and he got the word "love" tatooed on his hand. This advert shows how easily one can be influenced by another, and the advertisment was to help those people to fight against domestic violence and to seek help for those who abuse others.

Spanking in terms of a relationship between partners is something seen as erotic and sexy, but personally, if your partner whom you have not known for many years "spanks" you, and repeatedly does it without your consent, a violent relationship has develeoped. A friend of mine looks horrible after a erotic session with her boyfriend went wrong. Spanking her once, she agreed. He persisted without her permission and she tried to fight him off. It became violent and she is in hospital because of this.

Now I am not saying every relationship which encourages spanking is wrong, but there is a fine line between spanking for pleasure, and spanking which leads to abuse.No means no, so respect that and back away.

And so I pose the question, do you think that spanking could encourage domestic violence?

Does spanking encourage domestic violence?

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Comments 15 comments

creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

Thank you for a great hub, but domestic violence is different than disciplining your children. we're not going to beat up on our children, but a spank here and there, thee bible say want kill them. Thank you for sharing. Godspeed. creativeone59

CiscoPixie profile image

CiscoPixie 7 years ago from I'm in a world of my own, but aren't we all? Author

thank you for commenting

Elena. profile image

Elena. 7 years ago from Madrid

Hi Cisco, I still remember that referendum, we discussed it here in HP. Shalini Kagal wrote a hub inspired by it:

And this one prompted two others. Guess one could say it was a hot topic!

I can't believe, much as I would try, that a spank in the disciplinary sense would ever be considered violence and abuse. Then again, one thing is a spank and the other a habit of kicking the daylights out of someone, smaller or bigger.

Best to you!

ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 7 years ago from Texas

This is an interesting question that you bring up. I think in certain circumstances there is a fine line between spanking and abuse especially when you are talking about sex. When my children were small I used to smack their little hands not to touch anything to get their attention, but not to hurt them. I was abused by my husband so any sex that would involve spanking to me would be abuse and would not do it.

Winsome profile image

Winsome 7 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

Hi Cisco. I think that if there is emotion involved, either anger in the case of discipline or too much excitement in the case of sex, any kind of physical smacking is out. Children need a consistent point of action which is appropriate and occurs soon after the incident. Counting to three, with the punishment on three, is often effective if they are asked to do or stop something. A calmly administered appropriate spank in that situation is a lot better than allowing behavior to go on for years and escalate until they are a teenager facing jail or some other violent consequence. Great question!

CiscoPixie profile image

CiscoPixie 7 years ago from I'm in a world of my own, but aren't we all? Author

Thank you for commenting Elena!

LadyJane - yes, there is a fine line. I was not as much comparing the two cases as I was stating that spanking could have different meanings in different circumstances. Smacking the way you did is to teach both a lesson and help discipline children but in some circumstances it can be taken too far, especially young parents who are inexperienced and single.

Winsome - My parents did the counting part but I alwas used to provoke them which ended up as a smack for misbehaving. I agree with you that a smack should be done calmly and not in a fit of rage. I knew a woman who smacked her child in a fit of rage over something the child had done and instead of one smack, it became many and the child was injured. Inappropriate behaviour must be dealt with. Even now if i provoke my parents, the stern warning of "you are never too old for a smack" still stops me in my tracks and i'm already 19!

Jess Killmenow profile image

Jess Killmenow 7 years ago from Nowheresville, Eastern United States

I am ambivalent about the idea of spanking. I think it is unnecessary, but should not be criminalized. But I agree that violence against children must not be tolerated. It is a complex issue.

CiscoPixie profile image

CiscoPixie 7 years ago from I'm in a world of my own, but aren't we all? Author

Thank you for commenting Jess! It should not be criminalised.

Winsome profile image

Winsome 7 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

Hi again Cisco. You raise another point that may be for another hub question. You always hear an abuser say "They provoked me, I would never have hit them, but they made me so mad!" I know that is just an excuse, but where do you draw the line? Does verbal abuse as provocation ever cross the line as the cause of violence? I have never heard this one discussed. Thanks for the forum.

CiscoPixie profile image

CiscoPixie 7 years ago from I'm in a world of my own, but aren't we all? Author

I don't hink it was posted on a forum. I just wrote this hub. You should give that idea a whole hub Winsome :)

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TattoGuy 7 years ago

A small spank is sometimes needed both in bringing up a child and in yer erotic activities but there is a line between a gentle spank and abuse. Thing is I actually blame lack of discipline in the UK over the last 10 years as the cause for the downfall in that society and the total lack of respect of yer average British teenager.

I could go on all night here but I do believe a certain degree of punishment is needed but not a good caning like the old days, anyways I am off to bed, I shall deff be following yer future hubs, goodnight Ashley !

CiscoPixie profile image

CiscoPixie 7 years ago from I'm in a world of my own, but aren't we all? Author

Good night Tatooguy! And you're right. I think society should take a look at what is the most appropriate action for discipline. A child that has not been disciplined either physically or verbally may grow up to be disrespectful and not a respectable citizen.

Anath profile image

Anath 7 years ago

I do not think that spanking encourages domestic violence. I have not been involved in domestic violence but I am involved in BDSM and I can tell you that most people who I met and practice BDSM are very caring people and they were not spanked or abused as children. In fact I believe that people who were spanked and more even, abused as children would not practice that kind of behaviour.

cristofer 6 years ago

Does Spanking a Child Encourage Domestic Violence or Abuse?

Whatever people in here tell you, is only their opinion. Not a science based fact. Whether these people are right and the scientists wrong. I would not take that risk.

AJReissig profile image

AJReissig 3 years ago from New Richmond, Ohio

I don't think it encourages anything but good behavior. I grew up with parents (and gradparents) who believed the adage "spare the rod and spoil the child". Both my brother and myself were spanked quite often as a child (he more than I; I guess he was a slow learner). However, I would never EVER consider hitting my wife or children out of anger. There is a big difference between spanking for dicipline and abuse.

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