Domestic Violence or Abuse. Signs, Awareness, Help and Helpful Tips

Be Aware of the many faces of abuse.
Be Aware of the many faces of abuse. | Source
Source
Seek help and refuge.  Abuse and domestic violence are never okay.
Seek help and refuge. Abuse and domestic violence are never okay. | Source

Domestic Violence/Abuse

Studies show that in the United States, a woman is abused, either beaten or assaulted every nine seconds whilst the Domestic Violence Awareness Project states that at least three women die daily as a result of domestic violence. Also startling is the organization’s projection that at least one in every four women and one in every thirteen men will be a victim of domestic violence in their lifetime. These statistics emphasize the importance of October, 2011 as Domestic Violence Awareness Month, as celebrated since 1987.

Significance of Domestic Violence Awareness Month

There are many groups and organizations working diligently to raise Domestic Violence awareness in our communities. It is alarming and sobering that most Domestic Violence cases go unreported as victims are afraid to seek assistance or are not aware of the help/services available. Education is power and for the abused, ignorance is not bliss but a path to becoming a statistic. When we consider numbers like ten million children witnessing abuse in some form annually or one in five teenage girls staying in a relationship because a boyfriend threatened self harm or violence, we recognize the importance of raising awareness with the youth of our nation. Domestic Violence affects every age group, class and race. See the statistics here. Another issue that makes awareness a critical matter is the lack of knowledge as to what exactly Abuse is as many believe abuse to be simply of a physical nature. When we become educated as to the many faces of abuse, we can better identify if abuse is taking place in our homes and if our friends, family members and/or loved ones are victims of abuse.

http://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/am-i-being-abused-2/

THE MANY FACES OF ABUSE/DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE

You are being Abused if you answer yes to any of these questions.

Does your spouse or partner…..

Hit you, shove you, slap you, choke you?

Force you to have sexual intercourse?

Threaten to kill you or him/her self?

Threaten to kill your pets?

Intimidate you with guns, knives or any other weapons?

Prevent you from visiting family or friends?

Destroy your property?

Call you a bad parent, and threaten to take your children or harm them?

Control what you do, who you see?

Prevent you from going to school or working?

Look at you or act in a way that scares you?

Act like the abuse is all your fault, deny it ever happened or pretend it's not a problem?

Take your money, refuse to give you money or make you ask/beg for it?.

Make all the decisions?

Force you to drop the charges?

If you are a child and answer yes to any of the following questions, you are being abused.

Does your parent, relative, friend or stranger

Touch you inappropriately?

Make you touch any private parts of their body?

Force you to have sexual intercourse or tell you that you have to do it, to prove you love them?

Force you to have sexual relations with others?

Beat you, slap you, shove you, kick you?

Deny you food or water?

HELPFUL TIPS

Remember to ALWAYS SAY NO !

Speak to a counselor at school if you believe you are being abused.

Call 911 if you are being abused.

Talk to a friend or your priest, pastor or teacher.

Domestic Violence: It’s Silence and Why Cases Go Unreported

The reasons why many cases go unreported range from fear of retaliation from the abuser, homelessness, shame, isolation and the hope many hold out that the abuser will change. For many, abuse is a way of life. The victim may have been abused as a child and as a result, has a tainted image of what love is, even believing it to be an acceptable way of life or a sign of love. A number of immigrants, abused by a partner who is a permanent resident or citizen, may remain silent because of fear of deportation if the abuser refuses to apply for legal immigration status on his/her behalf. Abusers have been known to use the victim’s lack of immigration status a tool of intimidation. The Violence Against Women’s Act of 1994 not only enhanced “investigation and prosecution of violent crimes perpetrated against women” but also has made it possible for abused immigrants to self petition for immigration benefits. Many Non-profit Organizations as Catholic Charities will assist the intended immigrant throughout the filing process. Many persons in an abusive relationship fear reaching out to friends and family fearing the repercussions should the abuser be confronted. Many suffer in silence. Some are fearful of using the computer, possibly being discovered in their search for information on domestic violence. Many websites offering resources and help for the abused now offer “quick escape” buttons that allows the one browsing for information a speedy exit should the abuser walk into the room. The Domestic Violence Hotline offers a wealth of information with their hotline at 1-866-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 TTY.

Tips to Remember

Domestic Violence or Abuse is NEVER OK.

You DO NOT DESERVE IT

NO ACTION EVER MAKES ABUSE THE RIGHT REACTION

Because you were ABUSED AS A CHILD does not make it ACCEPTABLE AS AN ADULT.

Abuse is NEVER an ACT OF LOVE.

LOVE DOES NOT HURT.

Abuse IS NOT ONLY PHYSICAL.

WORDS are NOT just WIND. WORDS HURT TOO.

HELP IS AVAILABLE: TALK, REACH OUT.

911 FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: IT’S A CRIME.

Domestic Violence

Are you now or have you ever been a victim of abuse?

  • Yes, I have experienced abuse or I am now a victim of domestic abuse.
  • No, I have never experienced domestic abuse.
See results without voting

© 2011 Michele McCallister

More by this Author


Comments 10 comments

Barbara Turpin profile image

Barbara Turpin 5 years ago from N. California

If I was still a child, I could say yes to all the signs of child abuse....except force me to have sex with others. It amazes me that no matter how much therapy you have, the 'memories' of abuse never go away. They effect EVERYTHING we do, from how we respond to others,/ to the way we feel about ourselves, to the way we raise our own children. Most abuser walk away or die and NEVER suffer the same as the abused child. Some child NEVER tell

anyone, to a child, sometimes, NO ONE is safe. I've been there, 'taught' these lessons. I had one type of abuse from different relatives, and physical abuse in my 'safe house' (HA!). I'm at 60+

and still have 'side effects.'

Great Hub Michele, very useful, and full of avenues for help....I know the part for children is taught in schools now, but I don't think those available make themselves look/act like a 'safe' person. Some that are 'bound by law' to report abuse, will not allow themselves to 'see' what's REALLY being said.

GREAT Hub, so useful, great links to those in need. Beautifully written, perfect wording, just good writing.....for that, I THANK YOU.

GOOD WORK...

(voted up and all but funny)

(sorry for length, get carried away sometimes)


SEXYLADYDEE profile image

SEXYLADYDEE 5 years ago from Upstate NY

Great Hub! It is so important that we all enlighten others especially because so many people live in denial.


Faceless39 profile image

Faceless39 5 years ago from The North Woods, USA

Great hub, and a topic that's not talked about often. It always draws my attention because I'm a survivor myself. Great resources and discussion in this hub, thanks! Marked up and rated interesting, useful, and awesome. Following you.. follow me, too! :)


michelemacwrites profile image

michelemacwrites 5 years ago from USA Author

Thanks for stopping by Barbara, Sexyladydee and Faceless39 ! Yes indeed, the matter of domestic violence is a very serious matter and sadly it is still rampant leaving many survivors in its destructive path. People really need to be educated about the many faces of domestic violence/abuse and it has to start with the little ones. Hopefully over time we can see a slowing down of its vicious cycle. Again thanks for your honest and kind comments. Feel free to share this link if you know of anyone who may be in need of the information. Thanks and Keep hubbing my friends!!


thir3dpart 5 years ago

Very well written and informative. Abuse takes on many faces and shapes and is often not recognized, even to the victim. Hope this helps to peel away the armour that abuse hides behind.


michelemacwrites profile image

michelemacwrites 5 years ago from USA Author

You made a valid point thir3dpart, that sometimes the victim does not recognize the face of his/her abusive situation. So many people, due to childhood abuse even identify abuse with love. It is indeed sad. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. Looking forward to reading more from you !


shiningirisheyes profile image

shiningirisheyes 3 years ago from Upstate, New York

Thank you for this very important hub spotlighting a problem becoming all too common today.


michelemacwrites profile image

michelemacwrites 3 years ago from USA Author

Thanks for stopping by shiningirisheyes. It is a critical issue and has hit close to home. Like most unpleasant issues, many would prefer to keep it "in the closet" but the only way we can raise awareness is by sharing when its something we have dealt with or touches us through those we love. Again thanks and Happy Holidays to you and yours.


DDE profile image

DDE 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Domestic Violence or Abuse. Signs, Awareness, Help and Helpful Tips valuable tips to look out for and so well written. Abuse in any form is so unnecessary and cruel any being, or any living thing.


michelemacwrites profile image

michelemacwrites 3 years ago from USA Author

That is so true DDE and it is so tragic that many of the abused get caught in a bitter cycle and are unaware of the resources available. Thanks DDE for stopping by and keep hubbing my friend !

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