Exploration of Love
Ok now this is not going to be the most orthodox hub, however, I really want to explore 'Love' and in a way assure my self that it really exists within 'Romance'. Right now, I am seriously doubting that it does. Below are my experiences and thoughts on 'Love' and also I pose my many questions about such a vast concept as this.
1) What does 'Love' mean to me?
2) Are we, as mere humans, even capable of providing true endless 'Love' for one person in a romantic relationship for the entirety of our lives?
3) What is 'Love' and why do we confuse how is it possible to 'Love' someone in a relationship that is not a family bond? Is there something beyond? Which 'Love' is greater? Why?
'Love' for me:
'Love' for me is kissing my nephew's head at night before he sleeps to let him know how much 'Love' and affection I have for him. 'Love' for me is forgiving my sister no matter how much she hurts me sometimes. 'Love' for me is seeing the real side of my mother that would lay down her life for me, even through all the times that she is bothered with her mental illness. 'Love' for me is feeling crushed when I know that I have disappointed or disgraced my father. 'Love' for me is seeing the potential in my friends and supporting them to succeed in whatever it is that they seek. But really, is tricking myself into believing that a male 'Loves' me so much as to never hurt me and always cherish me until death do us part? Is 'Love' something that can go beyond just trust, loyalty and companionship? Or is that the 'Love' that exists between a person and a partner? Is this the 'Love' that old married couples feel or are we all destined to have our own little fairytale? Do we ever get 'A happy ending'? Surely not as being happy with something means being complete and satisfied. But as humans do we not continue through our lives, our journeys and grow and change? Therefore, we are never complete until our destiny is. So how could we have a happy ending at 25 without the rest of our lives ahead of us? As we will still face many challenges and change through time with our partner will we not? So it is only through loyalty and trust that we can have companionship through all these changes and challenges. So is this 'Love'? Is this the 'Love' that people say is a 'Love' that grows? Is this true 'Love'? What of these people that say they fell in 'Love' at first sight but then spend years in fighting and turmoil? Is this True 'Love'? If this is so, then I may wish to pass...
This is the 'Love' from God. The only true and complete endless feeling of 'Love' that I have ever encountered, bar family, but yet it is a completely different feeling of 'Love'. This is the most overwhelming feeling of 'Love'. It can come only from our creator, as we are His children. He is the All Powerful but yet He is the most compassionate. I feel His 'Love' every minute of every day and I know He won't abandon me or let me down. I feel closest to him when I enter a Church or say a prayer or if I am upset, He wraps His Spirit around me. This is a feeling of 'Love' and security that no man could ever mirror or match.
The 'Love of men:
Can the 'Love' of a man really complete me as so many women wish and dream of? Is this realistic possibility? Can I ever truly trust a man? Yes, I could. It may come back to bite me but it is my policy that if there is no trust, there is no relationship. But what of this having sex on the first date? Or having sex before marriage? Does this prove that you 'Love' a man or that he 'Loves' you? I sincerely doubt it.
I am not about to mislead: before I was forgiven by Christ I did have sexual relationships but I waited until I found a man that I thought I 'Loved' to give my ultimate gift. Through mistakes on both sides we realised that we were simply deluded and I for one realise that if we truly did 'Love' each other, those mistakes would not have happened. So there we have it, I was 'in Love' so to speak once upon a time and I thought I had found my fairytale. So much so that I was blindly ready to commit myself for the rest of my life as his wife. Thankfully, the events to follow, as bad as they were; gave me the sharp shock to wake up and smell the coffee before I threw my existence away to a man that didn't deserve my 'Love'. Since I was saved, the only one that I would say I 'Love' and Loves' me 100% in return, is God Himself.
Am I ever really destined to find a man to 'Love' and to complete in the hope that he will do the same in return? Is this a third 'Love' that I am yet to discover or is it only the wishful thinking of us as humans? We may have been made in God's image, but as in everything else, we are flawed and can never quite make the mark to the level of the divine Lord our God. So why should 'Love' be any different? In the teaching of Christ, we are told that we can only enter through Him and only be saved by Him. So does this mean that to 'Love' and to experience 'Love' we must first surrender our 'Love' to Christ, if we are ever to experience any mortal 'Love' other than family? Or is this again something serarate? Must we do both simultaneously or one before the other? I will leave this thought with you and hope to read your comments on the above.