First Date Conversation Starters

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Is "conversation" a dying art?

Listening is a skill - there is more to it than you might think. Conversation is an art. It can be beautiful, extrordinary or significant which does qualify as art. Some people are very accomplished speakers. I will tell you a little known fact, according to the top language experts, only approximately 7% of conversation is expressed in words, 38% of communication is in your tone of voice and approximately 55% is communicated by body language.

If she leans toward you - that means she is into you. If she leans away or points her toes toward the door? She is ready to leave. If she touches her face or neck a lot while speaking - signs of lies. Tossing her hair around - flirting. If she shakes her head yes while saying no? Incongruence. That is also a sign of a lie. So if you say, "are you married and she shakes her head yes while saying, "No"? There is something not quite right about that.

Think about that - there is a lot going on when we are conversing with others. Make the most of your conversations and you will benefit in many ways. Don't let some other fluent guy steal the lady of your dreams. Keep the conversation alive and fun and you will command the attention of every female in the room.

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Put the Art in Articulate

Dating is exciting and expensive! You don't want to spend money on a girl who isn't worth your hard earned cash. You also don't want to invest a lot of time into a relationship that will go no where. Ask questions that will help you learn as much about her as possible.

Concentrate on what she is saying but pay attention to body language and cues that will help you know if she could be worth date number 2. Pay attention to her tone of voice. Also be mindful of your own behavior in this respect.

Ask open ended questions to keep the conversation going. Pay attention to key words that she might repeat. Do you hear a lot of "I, I, I or me, me me?" That could be indicative of a girl who is into herself. If she asks you about previous girlfriends - this may be a sign of a jealous woman. Jealous girls are always high maintenance! Pay attention to how she treats other people. Is she nice to other people? Does she seem to complain about everything? Is she bossy? Does she interrupt you when you are speaking? A sign of impatience.

I love a guy with a good sense of humor. I always like to test my date out a little - I will say something like I am totally serious such as, "so have you ever killed anyone?" I say it like I am asking if I am asking if they like golf. I like to watch their facial reaction and see how long it takes them to get my joke or to laugh. These ice breakers really help people to drop their guard.

Body Language of a Flirt - Know What She Really Means!

10 Fun Topics of Conversation

  • Travel - This is always a great topic - think about where you would like to go. Where have you been and what were the highlights or low lights of the trip?
  • Apocalypse - Could you survive without electricity, modern conveniences, etc.?
  • Shipwreck - What would you want to have with you or who? Etc.,
  • Movies - Do you watch television - what shows?
  • Music - What is your favorite music? Do you play an instrument? Favorites?
  • Entertainment - What type of entertainment do you appreciate? Skydiving? Sports? Plays, Concerts?
  • Jobs - Ask what jobs they have had or what their dream job would be?
  • Education - Where did you go to school? Did you like school? What would you like to learn? Do you speak a second language?
  • Interests - talk about anything unusual that you might be interested in - if it is important to you then you may want to see how she reacts to it
  • Money - Everyone loves money and imagining what you would do if you found a million dollars is a topic that could tell a lot about your date. Could she be a gold digger?

Conversation Don'ts

  • Never talk about your previous girlfriends
  • Get to know her better before you use vulgar language
  • Get to knew her better before you talk about s-e-x
  • Do not ask her about her previous boyfriends
  • Do not talk about yourself the whole night
  • Do not be rude to anyone on a first date - don't think it makes you look impressive and powerful - it doesn't.
  • Don't ask her if any of her parts are fake or if her hair color is real
  • Don't pretend to know everything - it is ok to let your date be smarter than you in the areas where she may have knowledge
  • Do not use words in a negative way such as dummy, idiot, retarded, gay, loser, bimbo
  • Don't flirt with another female even if your date is a monster


Source

Be yourself!

No matter what you talk about, just be yourself. First date's are exciting and a little nerve racking at first. Getting the conversation moving in the right direction is the key to being able to relax and have a great date. Have a good sense of humor - everyone loves to laugh and laughing releases endorphins in the brain that make us feel good. If you choose a couple things you know you like to talk about - chances are the conversation will take its own direction and speaking will come naturally.

Try your best to make your date feel comfortable and be pleasant. Your date will no doubt, be a little nervous so if you concentrate on putting her at ease you won't have to worry so much about saying the wrong thing. Conversation is key in getting to that second date - or knowing if you shouldn't bother. Make sure you are listening to all the little things and not just the words!

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Comments 83 comments

Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

I sure wish I had read this before I went on MY first date! But that was long before the interweb was invented, (sigh).


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

I used to be a nervous wreck on first dates. My first date with Al I think I changed clothes ten or fifteen times before I was happy about what I was wearing. Not sure that I'd ever want to have to go back to the dating pool.

Sometimes its hard to be yourself on a first date especially if you're trying to impress the other person. Then you say something really stupid and want to slither away and die :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

I was just thinking about that Lela! Gosh when we were dating there weren't cell phones or computers. Our parents must have really been wigged out if we were late from a date. I can practically microchip my girls...and I'm still worried if I can't see them:) lol

I so wonder how different out lives would have been if we had the world wide web!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

That's funny Susan - I guess I had a little advantage because I knew Dave for a whole year before we went on a date. We were so busy being sarcastic to each other I'm surprised we ever did go on a date:) lol. God he used to irritate me! Calling girls bimbos and always thinking he was so funny! An act - it was all a big act - he's super sweet! Lol


Motown2Chitown 4 years ago

Ugh...I hated dating...lol I think that's why meeting my husband online and communicating EVERYTHING by email and phone for the first few weeks was the best thing that could have ever happened for me. By the time I met him in person, our first 'date' was more of a confirmation that we were, indeed, perfect for each other. :D

I also think knowing someone for a good amount of time is paramount in making a first date a little less nerve wracking. Then, you may already know what you can and can't say comfortable without offending/intimidating someone.

For those who are still stuck out there in the dating pool, this is fabulous advice that will help them really learn to feel comfortable in their own skin.

Up, awesome!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Mo! Thanks so much! I bet it's very interesting to meet a person (romantic interest) in print before in person! I bet you learned a lot about each other. How someone writes alone - is so telltale. Expressing yourself in words can be very hard and of course you have finess:) lol. I bet Michael thought you were a knockout on paper too:)

Michael is equally talented in the writing arena - how cool is that? And no wonder you were - attracted to each other with a wireless connection! Lol


Motown2Chitown 4 years ago

Michael is very charismatic, Kel. And it did indeed come through in email and chat very well. :D Truth be told, I knew I was going to marry him the minute I heard his voice on the phone for the first time.


prairieprincess profile image

prairieprincess 4 years ago from Canada

This is excellent advice! I love how you take it from the guy's point of view and discourage him from wasting money on a girl that might not be worth his time.

When my husband and I first started communicating, it was ability to talk about anything that really drew me to him. You are right -- that is so attractive in a man. Women like to talk and a guy that can hold his own is definitely worth looking at! Great job!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Charisma - you nailed it. He does have lots of that - I liked him from the first story of his that I read - laughed hysterically at his little remarks he could interject into an exciting story line!

We are some lucky girls - thank goodness we do not have to worry about this stuff anymore! lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Prairieprincess - thank you so much! I have heard so many girls that say stuff like "well I will go out with anyone for a free dinner." That is disgusting. Nothing like selling yourself for a salad, because that is what girls usually order on a date! lol Much to my husbands chagrin - I love steak! haha!

You are so right - if the guy can make the lady feel comforable and put her at ease - that is half the battle. I know I always was so grateful when a guy was well spoken and I didn't have to carry the conversation. It is so much easier to relax and I liked focusing on what the guy had to say. We ladies are taught to be so polite:) lol


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

Yep, the old hair flick and preen gives 'em away every time, and the excitement just builds up from there. That is if the guy makes it happen for the lady. It can work the other way around once in a while too. And any fella on top of his game knows its really the woman who makes the subtle first move more often than not. Kelly this was great good fun I must say- informative and a darn good time to boot. Btw, when you say "I always like to test my date out a little", was that a tell LOL?!! Oh, dig your new icon pic- yeah!


Ethan Green profile image

Ethan Green 4 years ago from England

yes, I agree with prairie - it's refreshing to hear a no-nonsense 'don't waste your money' piece of advice! I can't say I've ever really thought about it in those terms - but now I've read this, I might have to;-)

Ethan


Hot Rod Loves You profile image

Hot Rod Loves You 4 years ago from Houston, TX.

This is all very good advice and very educational. I have to say the old-fashioned one-liner that goes," Hey baby, come sit on my lap and let's talk about the first thing that pops up" I don't believe has ever really been the best one-liner to say on a first date. I guess it just depends on how confident the guy is and how good his dental plan is in case he happens to get his teeth knocked down his throat. LOL.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Alastar! Lol. Yeah I figure if they have to hesitate or think about that question - they aren't getting my home address! Lol. I had fun writing it - as usual:) I got to have my fun!

I do think it's most often the female that chooses the male first...even when it doesn't seem so. I think it's the first moment you make eye contact - a girl can tell a guy if he has a chance. I think even unknown to us - we send out signals that say "don't even look my way!" lol

Thanks - Austinstar helped crop out a picture - I was sick of looking at my own self - I just turned the cheek:) lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Yeah Ethan - girls can be really selfish and greedy. I know - I am one:) haha! Seriously I have heard girls say dumb stuff like "well it's a free meal!" I'd rather sing for my supper. You poor dudes gotta watch out for the gold diggers and weed them out. If they are more interested in your wallet...well they aren't going to be sweet fipor very long and if the money runs out - you'll be left holding the bag! Never agree to put anything on credit for a girl with a pout...I've seen more guys do stuff like that...uh uh. Don't! I don't care how sweet and defenseless she may appear:) lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

I've heard that Hot Rod! Yeah not a good one at all! "Hi how are you?" beats the crap outta that one!

Ok here's one I got before - the guy walks up - looks a bit needy and says "can you help me straighten my tie?". Clever! Now that was not the run of the mill "hey what's your sign?" it wasn't offensive and it let me know he was obviously single. The problem was it only took me one word to answer him "No.". Then he was gone and I never saw him again but he was cute! If he's talked to me a little more - I may be married to him right now:) lol


Hot Rod Loves You profile image

Hot Rod Loves You 4 years ago from Houston, TX.

That's funny RealHousewife about the tie. If I were a woman and a feller had said to me, "Can you help me straighten my tie?" I would have said, "Is that what they're calling it these days"? Just to get a laugh or check out his response. LOL. What's wrong with me? LOL.


Daffy Duck profile image

Daffy Duck 4 years ago from Cornelius, Oregon

Don't ask if any part of her is fake? You take all of the fun out of it. :)


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago

Never talk about your ex? Well, I have makr sure my new date feels sorry for me(JK). I hardly speak about me on a date... I concentrate on the other party. Is hard to have a normal conversation, nowadays, when the world is texting or messaging itself. Great topic as usual from our Imsomniac Guru.

LORD


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Lol. Nothings wrong with you! I'd laugh about that too and it's clever! If you can make someone laugh well there's most of the battle in breaking through to a full blown conversation;) wink wink!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Well Daffy - you have to save some good questions for later! Lol. And anyhow - you can figure these things out with out asking! Like if you give a girl a frontal hug - you can tell if those boobs are real:))))) hahaha! a lady should make sure if she embraces a man she kinda does a side ways hug! Then they can't squeeze you so hard! Lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

No no no! lord - honey your date won't know if they should feel sorry for you - or the ex! You can't start talking dirt about the ex for at least 5 dates. Your new date WILL want to know every detail...just not on the first date! You have to get to know her better first and then if it doesn't work out - you'll be glad she knows less:).

A lady wants to think she's getting the guy - because she's a better woman than the last one - and if you are still talking about that last one...well you're still emotionally involved aren't cha? That's how a girl thinks! Ok I'll put the "almost all" in there otherwise some girl will come along and chew me out and say "well not me!! Housewife your so worng!" lol.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 4 years ago from Arlington, TX

Great write Kelly. You write about this like you're out there on the dating scene.

The Frog


Daffy Duck profile image

Daffy Duck 4 years ago from Cornelius, Oregon

Squeezing is one of the best parts of a date. :)


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States

Realhousewife! If I ever have to start dating again, I am going to come back to your hub, print it out, and take it along with me as a reference!

Voted up, up and away!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

What a useful piece here... One of the rules I have always lived by is never ever ever talk about religious or politics before you are serious (or you know you want to start getting serious) or was that just something I learned in cosmotolgy school. Eitehr way, I learned it somewhere and it is good advice. Great hub all the way around!


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

I wish you would have written this article 10 years ago and shared with me. LOL

Once been into relationship, conversation on every other dates is easier to strike.


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 4 years ago from new delhi

listen these are excellent tips and all that and I am sure the lay public will have a great romantic time following them but my problem is going to be different.

what if my date is married and comes wearing a Tee that says "i love my husband?"


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK

Listening is a skill and conversation is an art- great piece of advice here RealHousewife. I shudder at my own tongue -tied past , where words eluded me and clever conversation always came to my head after the event! Yet, the dates must have seen/heard something they like ;-)

Great do's and Don'ts. thanks for sharing!voted up.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Forg! Thanks so much - I was thinking about you yesterday!! I bought this cute frog to hang from my new gazebo - there's a prism hanging from his foot - gotta have fun stuff in there! Now I've got my frog prince replica!! Lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Yeah sure it is! Unless the girl doesnt like the aqeezing! Lol. Oh well - I guess get what ya can! Haha!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Haha! Dexter you made me LOL! I can just picture you sitting at the table pulling a sheet of paper out...lol. Just talk about your Obama Morning conversations and shell want to date you forever! Lol. Thank you!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Stacy - you don't need to look for any girlfriend anyhow - you're just here for me! LOL. Thank you!!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Vinaya - yeah I think if you make it to date two - thongs move along nicely if you're right for each other. That is why there will be no "what to do on your second date" hub - there's only so much you can help! Lol. Thank you so much!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

In that case Neels my sweet you tell that lady to change her shirt and stop rubbing it in! LOL. Then you count your lucky starts that you are so hilarious and crazy in love with your wife! Silly! I know beetr but I do adore you!! Lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Docmo - I think it's normal to be a bit tongue ties upon first meetings, there are so many social faux pas - say the wrong thing and you could step on a land mine. People all have different hot buttons and I find myself being very cautious to not offend - which makes me nervous! Lol. I think everyone - even no matter how calm the date seems - is really nervous inside. So just don't think about it - the person sitting opposite you - is nothing more than a person just like you and me. I have a feeling you're being a bit hard on yourself because I see the thoughts in your head in writing and you're very eloquent - you even knew what an R.PSG.T was!!


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 4 years ago from new delhi

made my day sweetheart - you made my day.

and btw that "madly in love with wife" is kindoffff errrrr like you know what i mean ,i mean , ummmmmmm, to put it mildly - it is occasionally negotiable. ROFL.

incidentally the lady in question has dropped the tee shirt!!!!1


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland

Great Hub RHW - I especially liked the section on things NOT to bring up on first dates. "Excuse me, is that your real hair color cuz it dont really match your skin tone or eyebrow." (Yes, he used the singular there hehe)


mythicalstorm273 profile image

mythicalstorm273 4 years ago

You know this is some really great information. Still the first thing I thought of was when was the last time you were on a first date RHW? lol. Even with that though I must admit that conversation skills are needed everywhere in the world. It does not matter if it is a first date, a last date, or just everyday talk. Conversation is so important! Great hub as always!


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

I'm not getting notified when you write...dammit! I didn't realize it until you visited my last hub and then it dawned on me that I haven't read anything by you in a few days. Well, I'm here now and I apologize for being absent of late. Great hub by the way! :)


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

These are wonderful tips for starting a conversation, Kelly, especially on the first date when so many folks are nervous about the entire scene. I especially like asking people I've just met about their favorite travel destination and their interests. The answers usually provide lots of information about who they really are. Voted up, m'ear.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Neels - you're so hilarious! Oh I know all about negotiations, I have 3 daughters! Lol. And I bet your wife just want to kiss you to death! it's true isn't it?


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Yeah Ardie - I've had guys (dumb ones) ask questions that are so dumb - like yes - is that your natural hair color. Now it was - and maybe he was just trying to make conversation but that didn't make me feel like he was real smart:) hahaha!

Sad what ca kill date 2 you know?? Lol


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 4 years ago from new delhi

ref comment on Ardie- wow you still go on first dates????? there is hope yet you mean.

and about the wife -well, errr ummm,i mean, you know what,like, etc etc etc etc etc etc,


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Well Ardie could go on first dates - but I don't think her spouse would like that! I think he's kinda selfish and wants to keep Ardie all to himself:) lol.

Yes I know ER ummmm etc., etc., etc., - I've had the same guy for about 20 years now - so I ah know all about it! You lucky dog! Hahaha!


rajan jolly profile image

rajan jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

Nice tips, Kelly. But at my age, I think my son needs this. You bet, I'm going to pass this on to him.

Up all the way.


Jessie Whitmire profile image

Jessie Whitmire 4 years ago from Charleston, South Carolina

This article is great! I'm glad to know you don't have to talk about sex or answer really presonal questions on a first date. The topics suggested will make good conversation starters.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Ha! Hi rajan - yeah I have a girl that is 23:) It is how I still keep my ear low to the ground about such things at MY age! lol

Thank you so much kind sir!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Jessie - and thank you so much!

Yah - I think guys are chomping at the bit to get to sex talk but the first date should be totally off limits for this. I have totally dated so many guys that think they are funny with the sexual innuendos - but really it is a big turn off. I mean - know my middle name before my middle section, right??? haha!


Jessie Whitmire profile image

Jessie Whitmire 4 years ago from Charleston, South Carolina

I guess I'm too polite to shut it down. It would be so nice to just sit and talk with a man and not be pressed about sex.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

True - it can be very hard to discourage an excited date! Lol. I always tell my 23 year old that if she's at work or sex talk comes up - don't contribute to the conversation at all. Try to redirect everyone's attention and do NOT encourage it. You can nicely dissuade this by smiling politely and saying like "hey mama said never to 'go there'!!! Lol lol


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

Oh the memories this brought! LOL I love the information on body language, which is so true. I completely agree about the sense of humor. If you or your date do not seem to click with the sense of humor, I suggest you don't have a second date because, honey, those looks are gonna fade. IT'S TRUE! I tell my kids, "Find someone who makes you laugh." Also, I agree, RUN if they are talking about an ex because they are not over that person. Love this hub!! Votes and shares!!


lovedoctor926 4 years ago

This is awesome advice. Great questions and conversation Don'ts. Good hub.


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

Have you ever killed anyone? I love that! How have people reacted? hahah. Did you ask Dave that? Loved this hub. Very useful and entertaining, too. I gave you every vote I could find!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Susan! Thank you so much - and knowing you have had a really successful and long marriage - you know the secrets:) lol It is really true about the humor though. When tough times come sometimes all you can do is grin and bear it as they say. If you can't laugh together it makes it a lot harder to get through those rough times. I can remember looking at Dave and saying "oh my gosh! We are poor people!" and laughing after he lost his job. Then I thought wow - I must be nuts who laughs about that? I didn't care though, we started the business right then and I felt it would all work out. It did too. If we had been unable to really love each other through the thick and the thin I don't know if we would have made it.

The "EX-talk" is always a dead give away isn't it? lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi lovedoctor926 - thank you so much! I finally got some use out of all those duds I went out with:) haha!


lovedoctor926 4 years ago

Lol. keep up the good work:)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Vicki! That is always a question no one ever expects! haha! I always laugh when they take that moment to think about it because they are confused:) lol I never got a yes thank goodness!

I asked Dave this question - and I remember it VERY clearly - I said, "If I killed someone would you turn me in...or would you help me cover up my crime?" MUCH to my surprise Vicki he said he would turn me in! LOL I am so serious! But ... I remember thinking this guy is really a stand up guy...he would sacrifice love for doing the right thing. I knew he already loved me before our first date - I had worked with him for a whole year before we dated! I made the man blush! lol


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

Aw, Kelly, I'm glad I saw this response. I love hearing true love stores about you and Dave. YOu guys are so real, just like the RealHousewife!!!!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thanks again! I will sure try! lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Vicki - we really are just that. Real People with hang ups, good parts, bad parts and stuff in the middle. I have been humbled enough in my life to know that it is hard to be wrong about stuff and it is hard to think you don't have all the answers all of the time. But that is life. Once we accept that we can be better - or we can be worse - it is just a matter of which way a person chooses to go. I do like to laugh and I do not mind laughing at myelf either. I am just a girl:) LOL LOL

Thanks so much for your support as always - I am such an admirer of yours!!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada

Kelly,

Sadly, I have been known to go into dating scenarios with several possible (and alternate) conversational threads already worked out. Also sadly, I've been known to just blurt all my material in the first 10 minutes thus leaving me with my (conversational) thumb up my ass for the remainder of the evening.

This is some good stuff...I shall be putting this on flash cards for the next time.

Thomas

PS...so toes pointed towards the door means she wants to leave? It doesn't mean she wants to get a 'room' somewhere?


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thomas - lol Well if those toes were pointing toward the bedroom perhaps...uhhh??? haha!

I just can't imagine you NOT being a hilarious date now, I am sorry but I do not think you would lack for something to say!

And wear your DRESS thongs TY on the first date. The feet ones:) haha!


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Hey Kel,

I enjoyed this hub immensely, and the comments simply cracked me up. It brought back a lot of silly memories. Fun fun!


Paul Kuehn profile image

Paul Kuehn 4 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand

This is a very interesting and useful hub. You are absolutely correct that body language and tone of voice is so important when communicating with people. I have read that if you want to persuade someone to do something, you should mimic their gestures, body language, rate of speech, and tone of voice. By doing this you are connecting with them, and a lot of people are not even conscious of what you are doing. Voted up and sharing.


LaThing profile image

LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

Great fun read! Very good advice, THANK GOD I am not in that game anymore...... It's nerve racking! Sigh!!

Enjoyed the comments too.... :)

Voting up, and interesting.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Sharyn! This one was so fun to do! I love the ones where I jet get to try to be funny:) haha! And this is such a subject I think lots of people can relate to. I mean most of us dress normal and match colors ok - others you have to go "hmmm now what were they thinking!?" makes me laugh! Thanks a lot for laughing with me!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Paul Kuehn - that is such an interesting point you made! That is called mirrored speaking by some people. I've heard that it's a great interviewing technique too because it puts the interviewee at ease! Ha! But I never thought about it in connection with this. Thanks I am so glad you thought to comment about that!

Now I'm going to do some experimenting with that., lol. I am going to two parties today - let's see if I can comfort some people! Lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi LaThing - first I love your hub name! Lol. Good one! Second - oh sweet Jesus me too! I would NOT want to be in the dating pool right now...things have changed SOOOOO much since I dated. I mean we didn't even have cell phones! Haha! I remember my husband - I was going out with him when cell phones were coming out - he had one of those huge BAG phones...we think back and laugh now about how cool he was then...and how ridiculous those gigantic phones were:)

My 23 year old has been in a more serious relationship but she did lots of serial dating. That was nerve racker - thank gosh I really adore the guy she chose...some of them - well I could just make a whole hub about that! Haha!

Thank you so much!


Kbdare profile image

Kbdare 4 years ago from Western US.

Very interesting Hub and great advice about the "Conservation Don'ts"!


Joeythegrreat 4 years ago

Wow very informative, keep up the good hubs.


Kiwi Max profile image

Kiwi Max 4 years ago from New Zealand

I love this hub, it's simple, easy to follow, I felt I've learnt a lot and had a good laugh.

One thing I felt you could add to this article - when observing body language, deception is difficult to detect, you should very careful before you accuse someone of lying and you certainly don’t say it to your date no matter how obvious it may be.

Also, a big skill of being able to observe body language is being able to do it, without causing attention to yourself. No one likes to be stared at.

Out of curiosity, what are some of the answers you’ve received when asking the question “Have you ever killed anyone?”


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Kbdare - thank you! Yeah - you would think that most people know not to go there on a first date - but really, I know several that didn't! haha! And girls want to feel comfortable with the date or there sure won't be another one!

Impressions are important so I hate to think of all the truly great guys who got cut off at the knees for a "conversation No No":) lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Joeythegrreat! lol Sorry I had to laugh - I love how you have two "R's" in GRReat!

Thank you very much!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Kiwi Max -

thanks so much - giving you a laugh is the greatest compliment to me:)

Great points you offer as well! Yeah - no one should ever jump to conclusions, or call anyone a liar. I mean - keeping an open mind is probably good enough.

I honestly burst out laughing when you add that a person should be covert in thier body langauge reading..LOL LOL Yeah - bug eyed staring might possible chase someone away - then who ya gonna talk to? haha! Oh my gosh - now you just paid me back!

I never had anyone cop to a murder. That would be dumb on the first date. I could be a narc. hahaha! The funniest thing is - when you say something like that really serious - people always have that moment of confusion and you can tell they actually considered the question...! Now, if anyone hesitated too long...I think I'd find the nearest bathroom window and crawl right out!


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

Put the art in articulate.. that is a good one. These are really good tips. You should write more dating advice. It should really help those nervous fellows who stutter and mess up because they don't know what to say. GREAT hub.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

LOL Hey Tammy - I had to use that reference - once it entered my mind I couldn't ignore it:) haha! I was really considering doing that..writing a few more relationship type hubs. I am so glad you said that - now I will for sure:) They are fun to do!


BRIAN SLATER profile image

BRIAN SLATER 4 years ago from Nottingham Uk

hi, I wanted to leave a comment but couldn't find the end of those already written. I know you are good at these types of articles and this is one of your very best. How do you know these subject matters so well, don't say you've had enough practic I will laugh all nite. Seriously there is some great advice here, some of which I could have been useful to me sooo many years ago. Times change and my daughter is always telling me you have to be friends first before anyone will ask you out. Somethings don't change and I'm glad you started this article with it, being a good listener is difficult for men who are always competing and interupting in conversation. But I reckon most men should try and listen to what the girl is saying and try can responding to her when she stops. Voted up and shared :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Brian - I kissed a lot of frogs! haha! EW! I was such a serial dater - I would go out with a guy once - a lot! lol I think I was so impatient when I was a young girl and high expectations. If a guy could make me laugh though - I was interested:) And right on the money - if I could talk to a guy and he listened, I couldn't wait for him to call me again!


NateB11 profile image

NateB11 4 years ago from California, United States of America

Fun, informative, entertaining, and well-written hub!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Nate - thank you! I do love to entertain...would you like a drink? Haha


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 3 years ago

"so have you ever killed anyone?"

lol... that's a good one, it will catch anyone off guard.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

And if you think about it - it's IS a pretty important question:) LOL

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