Five Annoying Facebook Friends (You have them all!)
Five Most Annoying Facebook Friend Types
Facebook is a wonderful place to keep in touch with long lost friends and family and lets you feel "in the loop" with people you haven't spoken to in years. Facebook can turn acquaintances into friends, and solidify the friendships you have. Unfortunately the price we pay for this privilege is we get to deal with the five most annoying friend types. If you have 50 friends or more, I can almost guarantee you probably have at least one of each of these Annoying Facebook Friends.
The One Topic Wonder
This person only has one thing on their mind, and it's obvious to everyone what it is, because it's all they ever write about, comment amount, post links about, etc. This is fine if you have a professional account or similar account where people "like" you simply to follow your rantings, but if you're just Joe from down the street, then you're likely annoying your friends.
What does the One Topic Wonder go on about? A One Topic Wonder can go on and on about anything. Many are religious, some are sports types, but most that I've encountered tend to be political types.
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FBGrl I need a new car but I'm having trouble finding a good used one. Any suggestions?
1 comment
OneTopicWonder It wouldn't be so hard to find a good used car if OBAMA the NON AMERICAN hadn't had that stupid cash-for-clunkers program!
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FBDAD Wow, my daughter doesn't like hardly any of the school lunches this year, I need some serious advice on things to pack in a school lunch.
3 comments
NormalFBuser Grapes, sandwiches, wraps, little apple juice cartons, raisins, cheese sticks... Johnny's a picky eater too, I probably have a million more suggestions. Ask if you need them! :)
NormalUser Twinkies!
OneTopicWonder If FemiNazi Michelle Obama wasn't so into "HEALTHY EATING" the school lunches wouldn't SUCK this year!
The Painful Writer
Most facebook users seem to attempt to use proper spelling and somewhat proper grammar. Nobody's perfect, and nobody is expecting it, but if you can't string 7 words together into a semi coherent sentence, then I can't read your status update. It shouldn't be painful to read your writing.
There are many ways to become a painful writer. You can use nothing but Facebook shorthand and text gobbelty-goop, you can use preschool-level spelling, OR you can use the caps/lower case alternating layout. All of these will make your writing painful, if not impossible, to read.
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PainfulWriter Had gr8 day w BF & luvr @ prk& OMG BF ripped his jeans 2 funny LOL
PainfulWriter I wish I can go up in a hot ayr buloon! I seen a awsom 1 2day!
PainfulWriter cAnT WaIt 4 SuMmEr To CoMe! I aM sO sIcK oF aLl ThE SnOw aNd CoLd. CoMe On SuMmEr!!!!!
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For this offense, you might just have to be deleted. At least the annoying One Hit Wonder can at least be amusing at times. Trying to decipher what the Painful Writer is trying to say is almost worse than having a tooth extracted.
The Woe Is Me Friend
This person really belongs in one of those sad country songs. Every status update has you begging to feel sorry for them. Nothing in their life ever goes right and if they aren't complaining, they aren't saying anything at all.
Perhaps Woe Is Me Friend doesn't realize that they are constantly annoying everyone on their friend list by all their sob stories, or maybe they do and it just gives them more things to feel sorry for themselves about. Either way, since their dog died, they broke their tooth, lost their job AND their truck broke down, you would feel bad defriending them. At least it helps you appreciate your own life a little more.
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WoeIsMe So today I was on my way to the store and the front tire on my truck blew. When I pulled over to get out and look at it, I dropped my cell phone and the screen shattered. Can anything ever go right?
WoeIsMe Lost my wallet today and my entire paycheck, can't afford new tires now or to pay my light bill. Why does this stuff only happen to me!?!
WoeIsMe Went to the doctor and he said I have a strange toe fungus that can only be gotten rid of with a very expensive medicine. I can't afford it! FML!!
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Yeah, we get it Woe, your life sucks. So does everyone else's. But most people keep it to themselves when they're broke or have strange fungi.
My Life Is Perfect (BE JEALOUS!) Friend
The My Life Is Perfect friend gets under your skin daily. You know that nobody's life is perfect but with the constant status updates from their romantic vacations, pictures of themselves in swimsuits (looking good!) and constant updating about their children's many accomplishments and how the work on their new pool is coming along, you can't help but be jealous.
This is the friend we love to hate. It's like a glimpse into the life that you wish you had, but you hate the person living it. You stare at the photo they uploaded of their kid playing (nicely) in the perfectly clean house (no finger prints on the window in the background? No way!) looking for any little flaw. When something goes wrong in this FB friend's life, we rejoice.
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LifeIsPerfect - Been so busy lately, haven't had time for an update! Just got home from Cancun. It was beautiful, we loved it so much last time, we decided to go twice this year! You'll have to check out the pics of us at the beach, isn't the water sooo blue? Anyway, Johnny shot the game winning basket at the game last week and now their team is headed to state! Can't wait to go! I organized a bake sale to help raise money for the team to get new warm up suits so stop by the church on Friday to pick up some goodies. My famous snicker doodles will be there!
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Yeah, we hate you, and we'll probably stop by the church to get snicker doodles and be super nice to you hoping that something you've got will rub off on our lowly selves.
Vague Friend
So there always seems to be one friend who is always writing vague things as their status updates. Sometimes these seem to be geared toward a specific person, and sometimes it's like they are just begging you to ask them what they're talking about (I won't do it, I won't get suckered into their game.) I have determined that Vague Friend is not someone to trust in Real Life, they will take their passive-aggressive argument to Facebook. Plus if you are friends with this person in real life, you'll always be wondering, "Is this status update about me?"
VagueFriend I think it's so sad when a 40 year old woman doesn't have enough decency to tell you to your face that they are mad at you.
VagueFriend Pray for me!
VagueFriend Don't you hate it when someone is only your friend when it's convenient to them?
VagueFriend is Unappreciated!!
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These posts drive me crazy! If you don't want me to know what you are talking about, don't put it on Facebook. If you do want me to know what you are talking about, then just spit it out!
The subsequent 20 posts asking if everything is okay, and people worried that Vague Friend is talking about them is MORE annoying though!
We could just delete them...
We could just delete these Facebook friends ,and perhaps we probably should, but we don't. For some sick reason we are actually entertained by all of these annoying facebook friends, and sometimes we can't wait to read whatever idiotic (or annoyingly perfect) thing they are going to say next.
Isn't that the true joy of Facebook? It's kind of like high school, all types of personalities merging in one place, it's not always pretty, but it's usually entertaining!
