Fix Me, I'm Broken

"If you need to fix a broken heart, friends make the best glue."

It will take a little of your time to help a friend who had lost a heart. Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless.

Heartbroken.

It’s such a simple 2-word thing but will take time to heal. We all experience heartbreaks in life, relationship, families and most especially on our loved ones. We tend to expect more and understand less, think more and say less. And if we don’t get what we want, our heart breaks. And it hurts. It hurts a lot.


So for the question, what advice will you give if your friend got his/her heart badly broken? I’d rather go for a hug than advices. They wouldn’t listen anyway and the only thing that matters to them is their heart being in pain.

I’ve been through a lot of heartaches and pains in the past and friends would give me advices. I think that they do not understand what “heartbroken” means.

They just keep babbling that you would find the right person someday or you can move on in no time. So I would rather give someone a hug and listen to the sobs.

I would rather sit with them on a backyard porch swing not saying anything but rather to let them feel that I’m here, that they’re not alone when times get tough. Listen to them first and answer if they ask. It’s not right to leap our points of view when they are feeling bad.

There’s a reason for everything. We don’t judge the person by the right or wrong things they have done because somewhere in the puzzle there’s a piece that explains everything why.

That piece is the most crucial part of the puzzle and the only thing that someone will try to hide on the picture.

A tear from a heartbroken person is so special. This is not just a water-form of pain but it brings with it the love and sacrifice one has to make. Giving advices when a tear is so fresh would make it all worse.

I remember a guy friend, who is almost like a brother to me, got his heart so badly broken with this girl whom he really loves so much. We were in the church and he’s there kneeling with tears on his eyes.

I haven’t said a word but pat his back and just sit there to make him feel he’s got a friend to lean on.

So after a day, he thanked me for just being there for him when no one else understands his situation.

Anyway, no words will make him better nor bring their relationship back at the moment. Fresh wounds if scratch will bleed pain much more. And believe me, once done, it cannot be undone. They will hate and never forget it.

The thing is they will speak when they are ready and no one will rush it. It takes time and sometimes, a very long time to get over it. So instead we lecture our friend about what to do, about moving on, let’s just give them time and space to calm down and let the wound stop bleeding first before we enter the picture.

In that way, they will have a clearer mind and fresh thoughts to listen to alternatives and reason. They will appreciate more the effort and solutions that you have and for being there when they need you the most.

Friendship doesn’t only revolve around advices and reasons, sometimes when you look deeply into those words, you will see a greater meaning than that.

Friendship doesn’t always need words, sometimes, actions are better to let them feel that we are here and that we always care.


A true friend can see your tears pouring while others believe the smile you're faking.


© 2012 Mycee. All Rights Reserved.

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Comments 59 comments

Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

This hub shows a very kind and understanding spirit. You're right that usually no advice from someone else's perspective will help much when the person is going through the throes of heartbreak, disappointment, and loss. I love this which you said:

"I haven’t said a word but pat his back and just sit there to make him feel he’s got a friend to lean on. So after a day, he thanked me for just being there for him when no one else understands his situation."

It takes a great amount of sensitivity to another to be able to offer any words to help other than those expressing that sensitivity to the sitiaution - and you're right that it can usually be best expressed by actions and non-verbal communication.


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thank you for such a great comment, you made me realized that what i did was the right thing..well sometimes, by just being there is much appreciated than advices when the hurt is still fresh.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

That's so - and, yes, sometimes another approach may be needed. There's no 'cookie cutter' always-the-right thing to do. One can try to think about what would help (or at least not hurt more) , if it were oneself feeling the hurt? One needs to be right there in that moment with the person.

Probably when, as you say, the hurt is so fresh, the person truly can't absorb a lot of advice, no matter how good it may be, nor can he or she tolerate too much cheer till the rawness subsides.

What's probably the most comforting for the person is feeling assured that you do understand that he's honestly in pain and that it is valid to feel the way he does, and that can often can best be expressed with fewer words and by simply non verbally communicating that empathy and caring about the person right then.


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thank you for this wonderful comment. I hope that on our simplest of way, we can save a tear from falling or even a heart to be broken.


ptosis profile image

ptosis 4 years ago from Arizona

Yes, just hug me.


Deb Welch 4 years ago

A very touching Hub about brokenheartedness. I've been there too many times to count. Your words of advice are good. Voted Up - Useful, Beautiful and Interesting.


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thanks Deb for the comment.. its so sad when someone has to go thru broken-heartedness.


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago

Yes , I knew it , you are an awesome soul! .....:-}


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

:) ahorseback, you made my day on this comment.. im so touched by your words. thank you so much.


Rowie Rillera profile image

Rowie Rillera 4 years ago from Philippines

Hi, unknow spy, it takes time to heal the wounds , but when that time come , all you just say is, WOW , I have moved on, and the hurts ? its gone. then in your mind you smile.


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Hello rowie. Thank you for such a kind word. Yes, hopefully after all the pains we've been through, one day, we'll wake up and smile, and say, It's over. i've moved on.


Krowie profile image

Krowie 4 years ago from Phils.

I can sense your a good person unknown spy. Dont let your heart be broken again.


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

wow, why thank you krowie! thank you thank you for reading my hubs and commenting on it!


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

This is lovely. You have a good heart. Well done! In His Love, Faith Reaper


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Blessings to you dear Faith Reaper. Thank you so much.


tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

I think in this situation a good friend would do what you probably did, get a large box of tissues and listen with a hug when needed.

It is important to let the friend with the broken heart know, that you will be there for them, and that your shoulder is waterproof.


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

I agree, let them know that you will be there for them even with all those deafening silence between you and the never-ending sobs.. The hurt is still fresh and as of the moment, no words will stop the bleeding.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

I have never been much for giving advice. I do not think that is the role of a friend. Rather I try to provide comfort, compassion and empathy, which I think are much more valuable. Wonderful hub! I enjoy you and your view on life and I will always follow someone who is sincere and caring.


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

thank you so much for saying that to me sir. Sometimes, all we need is our arms to hug a friend and not all those unending words of advice. I totally agree with you that providing comfort and compassion are much more valuable and more appreciated.

Thank you so much for stopping by.


proudmamma profile image

proudmamma 4 years ago

After the heartache I suffered a few months ago when my husband passed away, you have definitely nailed the true meaning of being their as a friend. You are so right! So many people babble on and on, not really allowing you to express your feelings or your grief. I've discovered over the last several months.... nobody really wants to listen anymore. You have a good heart and know the true value of being a good friend and listening when needed. Great hub!


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Hello Proudmamma. Im so sorry to hear about your husband. I know that it is God's will. It's so hard, I've suffered tremendously after my grandma passed away..unfortunately, until now.

Thank you so much for leaving this very kind words to me Proudmamma. I really appreciate this.


morphy100 profile image

morphy100 4 years ago from United Kingdom

I recently saw a testimony about a spell caster of some sort in a blog I Email for relationship and marriage counselling problems and I just thought after ripped off the previous year of almost about $580, I should try it*maybe out of desperation of some sort*..and I contacted them..Atfirst everything felt dreamy and unbelievable,their consultations and solution was a little bit easy and strange and I was scared a little cos I heard read and heard lots of stories of fake spell casters and scammers ripping people off their money..I played along with a little hope and and faith and I was sent some few stuffs after everything and it worked like a miracle,everything went to a while new direction,it was and is amazing...I guess it was all good faith that made me read That particular post,you can contact them on email:vovalbamlaspellcast@gmail.com


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

hi Morphy100..

Is this spell caster a counselling agency? IS it just their name or are they really casting spells for you? Sorry for asking, name's a little bit mysterious to me. If I may ask, what is that they're doing actually?


snowdrops profile image

snowdrops 4 years ago from The Second Star to the Right

Wow..a spellcaster?? What do they do?


Ethan Green profile image

Ethan Green 4 years ago from England

Great hub, and you really hit the nail on the head. Heartbreak sucks, and when you are heartbroken you really need the people who you know still care about you to be able to say and do the right things. They can't always, and usually they'll be forgiven. But it's definitely good if they get it right in the first place when trying to help you find your way through the darkness of suffering:-)

Ethan


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thank you again Ethan, i very much appreciate this. yeah it feels good when you know you have someone to lean on in times when you feel like crying, when you feel like the world is stumbling for you. that's what friends are for :)

xoxo.M.


rahul0324 profile image

rahul0324 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

true friend can take you away from all the wrong, mend your heart and fix you permanently

Brilliant hub Spy!

The more I read you.. the more I like you as a person


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thanks Rah! you have an amazing heart, really. :) xoxo,M.


anonymous 4 years ago

After my friend got married he called me up early December 2004 and said he's moving to Florida because his wife's father lives down there. I was so shocked I didn't know what to say, I couldn't form any words and I knew at that moment my world ended right there. We were best friends since the 5th grade we were almost like brothers. I did not and still do not have the means to move or travel from New Hampshire to Florida. He was the only friend I had and he was leaving me. He calls me once every four months hoping I won't forget him, but deep down he killed me on the inside. I don't care anymore. He's dead to me because a marriage he's only half-hearted about is more important than our 16-year friendship. He has kids now and pets living off of social security and an under-the-table part time job, so I know even though he toys with me about wanting to move back up, I know it won't happen. He destroyed my confidence in the world and everything has turned gray and gone straight to shit in my mind. I'll never forget this, he almost had me feeling good enough at one point that I was beginning to talk to women and that was an amazing accomplishment for me. Now it's all fallen down like a castle down to rubble. Life has lost all meaning to me. I'm just existing but to no real purpose. I feel lost in a world of emptiness.


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

I know how it hurts to be left alone. you love your friend so much that it tears your life apart. and no matter how much we try to move on or let it go, it will never be the same again..

why did you say life has lost all the meaning to you and you're just existing with no purpose? you still have your family who loves you and cares for you. You are here because you have a special purpose. You just didn't know it. Don't depend yourself to anyone. They can't be always there for you. You have to be strong to people who cares and matters to you. I'll tell you something..if i didn't fight all the emptiness in my heart and life, i wouldn't be writing this response right now. and it feels good once you learn to stand up again..on your own.


anonymous 4 years ago

It's because I feel life has never really begun for me and still hasn't. I'm 33 years old and still living with my parents. My parents won't throw me out because they know I have nowhere to go and no money to get myself anywhere. If my friend hadn't moved to Florida, I was about ready to help him find a decent place to live up here and be a roommate. Now it's not possible. He was the only friend I ever had. I don't have any other friends. Now I'm stuck with my parents.


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

you're still young and it's not too late to make a change on your life.im not really good at this but i've been exposed to different persons with situations like yours..

i believe that you feel like that because you haven't yet accepted that your friend was gone. I know it hurts but the truth is, friends cannot be always there for us, they have to move on too and that's what you're going to do too. don't depend your life on him even how much you love him. You have still your parents. i really dont know your story but the first step is to go out of your comfort zone and embrace everything in your life. learn how to do things on your own and find your skills to earn. that's what those people i know did on their life, and you know what, they turned out to be successful than the others.

I've been dependent on my friend when I was in college and i cant imagine life without her.but she have to move away and find her path. if she can do it, why can't i, right??


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

...you make this life, this world a richer better place to be - and I always leave your hallowed hubspace inspired, moved and touched by your profound philosophy and poetic brilliance - lake erie time ontario canada - 10:45am


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Epi, yahuuu! thank you so much! What a wonderful message..keeps me inspired :)


klarawieck 4 years ago

Spy, the good news is that unlike the rest of us, you'll never need a therapist! This hub shows you have great insight on the inevitable experience of losing a loved one. You are right. We should just learn to be there without judging and without encouraging, at least as long as the wound is fresh. I'm not always good at this, although I know this is the right approach.

I like your writing style. You found a simple and beautiful way to capture the reader. Thank you.


ALUR profile image

ALUR 4 years ago from USA

I wish I had a friend when I needed them most: to wake me from illusions I had made of unhappiness. But to be fair, had they tried, my eyes were still clouded and my heart swimming in resentment, so I would not have heard...


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Klara, thank you again. Yeah, I guess I can say, I've been exposed to all kinds of heartbreaks in life. Im just kinda there always for them and seen and felt all their pains.

Thank you for the nice comment too!


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

@Alur, I guess our friends tried to, but we are just too blind to see it and we just let ourselves be drowned on our emotions and illusions..because on that way, we managed to keep the wounds from bleeding again.


shalini sharan profile image

shalini sharan 4 years ago from Delhi

great hub unknown spy

heartbreaks really hurt. condolences and mere words do not affect a person when is heart is broken into pieces.


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thank you Sha for the comment. Glad to meet you here!


shalini sharan profile image

shalini sharan 4 years ago from Delhi

the pleasure is all mine dear :)


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Oh you're soo sweet Sha :)


dwachira profile image

dwachira 4 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

Life will always have heartbreaks but the good thing is to know when and how to mend that broken heart. Nice hub unknown spy, voted up, useful and shared.


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thank you dwachira. Yes, life will always have heartbreaks. Life without pain is not life afterall...

thank you!


vespawoolf profile image

vespawoolf 4 years ago from Peru, South America

What a beautiful tribute to all those who are bearing broken hearts right now. It's so true that our actions speak louder than words and sometimes a shoulder to cry on is all our friend needs. I love the symbolism of the tulip photo. Thanks!


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Hello Vespawoolf. Thank you.

The tulip photo is really amazing, it's like the white is consoling the red one.


vespawoolf profile image

vespawoolf 4 years ago from Peru, South America

Yes, a picture is worth a thousand words! I look forward to following your hubs.


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Yeah me too! Glad to find you here in HP.


Ben1100 4 years ago

I have spent much money on spells and bought many spells three or four times as much than your spells. I was almost thinking there was no hope to reunite with my wife. But I read these good reviews about this spell caster on watchcraftpowerfulspellsolutions@w.cn work and he did one more spell for me. I put all my faith on the spell caster and followed his directions to the letter. We are happier now than ever. Everything looks perfect and so natural! Am so grateful. contact watchcraftpowerfulspellsolutions@w.cn for more spells today.


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Hi Ben1100! thank you for stopping by. Wait, how do these spellcasters really work? Are they gonna really 'cast spells' to you? On what particular situations?


cleaner3 profile image

cleaner3 4 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

So your heart was broken you are not alone ..... just don't let your heart, now turn to stone.

A tender love I see in you ....

you don't deserve to be so blue.

A true love will find you, it will be the best...

and make you forget all the rest

So my sweet angel spy,

this tiny poem is for you...

I can only hope..... it lifts you out of your blues.


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Hello friend..thank you for reading. no, its not my heart that was broken..well, fortunately. hehe.

Thanks for the lovely lovely poem you have for me! I'm so glad, cant help smiling while reading it :)


cleaner3 profile image

cleaner3 4 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

spy, the pleasure was all mine!! very glad you like the poem..


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Very much appreciated Michael. I love it!


cleaner3 4 years ago

To the Spy..... from neverland

walk with me...

let me hold your hand

You come from a place

I know not...

A lovely place

that time has forgot

Such a beautiful soul

and a... wonderful heart

who ever meets you.....

hopes to.... never part

You write with a softness

that none... can compare

the words drop... like sprinkles

of clear water...where

The pools.. they shine

like the rays of light

that come from the stars

in the darkest of night.


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Wow Very cool! I already found this on your profile. stunningly beautiful Michael! Thank you so much! i love it!!


cleaner3 profile image

cleaner3 4 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

Jaime, i must explain , this was the the first time i wrote this poem and then thought to share it with the hubs , but the first time i made it into a hub , the hub staff deleted it because I also put it on my google page which made me mad, so on the hub poem I was forced to alter so they would let me publish it , but it came out good both ways. So glad you like it . thanks for the inspiration.

Michael


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Well, yeah, it was so good. You are a master of words, you made it perfectly. Thank you so much!


Bennita Cross 3 years ago

I wanna use this medium to say a big thank you to professor Q ibile spells....until now in recent months I have been a wasteful spender but when I met with Q ibile spells he consulted his oracle and had a reverse spell done for me cause someone placed it on me as revealed by his oracle....I had this doubt but I decided to give a try and it my surprise he did work for me....

Now am a happy woman....

His mail is professorqibile@yahoo.com........talk to him if you need any help from him

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