Flirting with a married man...Why does a single woman flirt with someone else's husband?
Whatever happened to respecting the sanctity of marriage?
A friend asked me this question the other day. She and her husband, who are happily married, were at a party when a woman they knew started flirting with her husband. It wasn't the first time she had done this to with him, so he handled it as he always did, by rebuffing her as nicely as he could, and try to turn their conversation in another direction. She did this several times throughout the evening.
My friend stayed out of it completely--she trusted her husband to do the right thing, and he did. But she wants to know why this woman continues to act this way. What has happened in this woman's life to cause her to have so little respect for others' marriage vows? I had no answers for her, because I have seen this type of woman in action many times myself, and had always wondered the same thing.
Excuses they use, and Questions They Need to Answer...
If you ask them why they flirt with married men, you usually hear the same typical answers:
"Oh, it doesn't mean anything"
"I can't help it--it's just the way I am"
"I'm just being FRIENDLY!"
So, maybe some tougher questions should be asked instead, such as:
Do you ever stop to think how much you are hurting the wife of the man you're flirting with? Or how the man himself feels--how embarrassed or uncomfortable you make him?
Whatever happened to respecting the sanctity of marriage?
And as far as respect goes--what about SELF-RESPECT?
Years ago, a woman came up to my husband Tom and me while we were out alone. It was an old girlfriend he'd once had, but had quit seeing after he and I met. Before he could introduce us, she asked to talk to him privately, so they went a little distance away from me.
She asked Tom about seeing him again--Tom let her know kindly that he and I had been married for over a year, and had had a baby a few months before.
And, although I know how disappointed she must have been, she accepted it. She showed respect for our marriage, had the self-respect to not push the issue, and the class to walk away...
So why is that so hard for this other type of woman to do? Trying to drive a wedge between and man and a woman who are happily married is a dangerous and self-defeating game to play.
It's one they can never win because, in my friend's marriage, as well as my own, when couples are deeply committed to each other, NO ONE can come between them. So why do these women keep trying? What will it take for them to finally respect the sanctity of marriage?
My friend and I, and a lot of other woman, I'm sure, would like to know...