Foreign Men: Good Reasons not to Learn Tagalog or Filipino Language.
This hub is intended to help all foreign men who are trying to learn Tagalog or Filipino language in the hope of not only impressing their Filipina wife or girlfriend, but to also get deeper understanding of Philippines culture, people, norms, tradition and beliefs. This hub will help you realize if it's worth to face all the challenge and hassle of learning Tagalog or it's not a problem if you don't proceed. Also, you will have better understanding why your Filipina wife or girlfriend is not really encouraging you to do so.
Probably after you have been here in Philippines several times, you are probably wishing that you can understand the meaning behind the conversation between your wife and her family, her and her friends and her and other Filipino strangers. You are motivated to learn Tagalog because you probably have seen your girlfriend facial reaction while she's talking with someone in front of you in her native language and because you know her so much and you can read her emotion while she's talking with anybody. You are getting curious why your Filipina is reacting that way and igniting your desire to learn more.
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You also can feel that she's not telling the truth sometimes when you ask what they were talking about or what the strangers have said, but you can feel that she's only doing that because she doesn't want you to be involved or she doesn't want you to be hurt whatever those conversations were about. When you see her get upset, confused and sometimes you can tell that she's almost mad, your desire is like a plant that is being watered by those emotions that you observed from her and your curiosity keeps on growing and you're more motivated to learn Tagalog. Your instinct is telling you that you need to know more and do something and your first step of knowing why your Filipina react that way is of course by pursuing the idea of learning Tagalog. You think you can do it very soon and very seriously for the sake of your Filipina love.
Now before you get started putting in too much hassle and effort in learning our language here are some reason why I feel it is best for you not to learn Tagalog at all.
If your Filipina is Fluent Enough, No Need to Learn Tagalog.
Yes, if the communication between you and her is not a problem because she's very well verse in English and she is your reliable interpreter, I am telling you no need for you to learn Tagalog. She may not be brave enough to tell you the reason why she's discouraging you to do so or you're observing that she's not very helpful although she's not totally stopping you to proceed. Here are my reasons and I'm pretty confident that these are the reasons of most Filipina that are in relationship with foreign men.
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Judgmental Filipino People are Still Around.
I am still experiencing this until nowadays every time me and my Foreign love are together and I don't think this will ever stop. This is the main reason why I am discouraging my foreign love to learn Tagalog although he keeps learning Tagalog himself, I don't want him to get to the point of being able to understand everybody, because there are still many Filipino people who cannot hold their tongue and voicing out their generalize assumption that a Filipina that is with a foreigner is either a hooker or very poor.
I hear this comment a lot from my country fellowmen and it really hurts me when they intentionally and loudly say that very wrong and generalized rude assumption. I don't want my foreign love to understand what those people are saying, so when he feels that those people said something, he will most of the time ask me what they said and of course I don't tell him what they said. I just normally tell him that, "They think you are good looking," He usually gives me the look that he is not convinced but when he smiles at me that is enough reason for me to keep saying white lies and bear the pain of hearing those bad comments and assumption myself.
Also there are other bad comments that I normally hear from time to time, but this is so far the worst that some Filipino ever thinks initially when they see a Filipina-Foreign couple or lovers. What are their reasons why they do that, I don't know and I too don't understand. I don't think they are bad Filipino, they are just reckless and inconsiderate. They are just less informed and who to blame when they don't make themselves not knowledgeable and not showing courtesy to others, nobody but themselves.
Pros and Cons of Learning Tagalog or Filipino Language
Some Filipino or Potential Friends Think that Playing Around is Acceptable.
Now, don't think that I am being negative about this issue, this is all base from my own experience. The more you hang around with Filipino guys, the more they will encourage you or make you feel that it is okay to be a womanizer as long as you can keep it hidden from your wife and as long as you can financially support this ventures. I am telling you when I caught some of neighbors are encouraging my foreign love to go to the bar or do some other adventures that are promoting unfaithfulness, I will do my best to keep him away from them.
I am thankful that they are not fluent or can barely express their messages or sentences that my foreign love cannot fully understand what they are trying to say. Of course, I don't want them to come to the point that they can show him in action that's why I am trying to protect him as early as I could by keeping him away from them and by discouraging him not to learn Tagalog.
Can you imagine if you are fluent in Tagalog or even reach the level that you have no problem understanding them in our native language, they probably even teach you more tips and tricks to not stay faithful? To be fair, I have so many good friends that I have met since childhood and they were married and so we hang out altogether. I choose to introduce my foreign love to those Filipino guys that have no track record of being a cheater or being a womanizer.
If Your Filipina Girlfriend's Family and circles of friends can express themselves in English, no need to learn Tagalog.
If your in-laws, her parents, groups of friends can respond and communicate with you smoothly, don't you think that it is not necessary to learn Tagalog? Also, take note if your Filipina girl is fluent it's a sign that she is educated or intelligent or it can be both or it can be either. Why did I say so?
I take myself for example, my highest educational attainment was only second year of college, I didn't finish college for financial reason, but because I started this desire of learning English at a very young age like since I was ten, then I was always ahead when I was a student, because I have no problem understanding almost all lessons that are being discussed in English language, which most subjects are even nowadays.
I have also been acquainted and met many professional smart Filipino that are humble enough to say that they are not very expressive in English language, but they were excellent in other things. My point in saying this is a smart, fluent Filipina will have no problem associating with other educated people whether she is a degree holder or not because she is more confident and she is also wanting you to be around with those people that she feels is the best circle of people that you can hang around with and will also help you forget the desire of learning Tagalog.
Now, if your Filipina is somehow not directly discouraging you not to learn Tagalog, she just love you so much that she wants you to be away from potential contaminants, bad influences and disrespectful people. There is a saying that "Ignorance is Bliss" and in this case it is applicable in my opinion. You know what, even if you learn Tagalog language or not, in time depending if you choose to retire, live in the Philippines now or in the future, the longer you stay and get expose and get involve here, you will understand and you will learn the hidden negative reasons why it is sometimes better to not learn Tagalog or some of the Philippine culture at all.
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