Forgiveness Heals

Forgiveness is Powerful
Forgiveness is Powerful | Source

Forgiveness Heals

This is part two on a very important topic - forgiveness. If you have not read part one I encourage you to do so as it is the foundation for this hub.

In part one, How Forgiveness Heals our Hearts, we looked at some hard issues to forgive. Betrayal is one of hardest things of all to forgive, especially when it comes from a friend or someone you trust. Also, in part one, some vital tools are given, to help you break the bondage of deep-seated hurts.

Most importantly, "The Forgiveness Prayer" is written out which will grant release from the stronghold of unforgiveness and a healing of your heart like you never imagined possible.

and healing like you never imagined possible.

Forgive as You have Been Forgiven
Forgive as You have Been Forgiven | Source
The Key to Freedom
The Key to Freedom | Source

Offenses and Abuse

Offenses and abuse are very real happenings that we must deal with. Sometimes it's as simple as a flippant remark, that when spoken, we overreact to because the pain of the past triggers a buried offense which, in response, bubbles to the surface. Sometimes it is an egregious offense, an assault unjustly put on you. How do you get past such injustice?

If you have been offended or abused, without forgiving the offender, the results will show up all over the place. Unrestrained responses will show up In your relationships, in your emotional health and in the way you view life.

If the signs and effects of living with un-forgiveness (anger, bitterness, hostility, isolation, overreaction etc.) resonate with you, please stay with me as I share some keys to set your free.

Consider for a moment the flip-side of forgiveness. What if you choose to hold on to the pain and replay the offense over and over in your mind remembering how badly you were hurt? When you hold on to anger, toward the person who has violated or harmed you, it comes back to bite you. It holds the power to make you bitter. Bitterness spreads like yeast and invades every part of your life; body, mind, and spirit.

What I am about to suggest may not make sense to you at first ... but please stay with me.

Just Let Go!
Just Let Go! | Source

Letting Go

Perhaps you don't want to let go. You feel that if you let go you are letting your offender off the hook. Think about this... Does your offender even know or care that you are hurting? Do they know that you hold such anger, pain or perhaps hatred toward them? What possible good can come from holding on to these harmful emotions?

The Truth is that these harmful emotions have the ability to disrupt and destroy you. Apart from forgiveness you may turn into the very thing you hate - a bitter, mean spirited offender.

Power over you
Power over you | Source

C.S. Lewis

"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. This is hard; ... how can we do it? Only, I think, by remembering where we stand, by meaning our words when we say in our prayers each night, 'Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.' We are offered forgiveness on NO other terms. To refuse it means to refuse God's mercy for ourselves." __ C. S. Lewis

POWER OVER YOU

I know, it sounds ridiculous even ludicrous to forgive someone who has betrayed, demeaned, debased, destroyed and/or abandoned you but hang in there and allow me to lead you through a thought process.

Think about this: When you do not forgive you allow your offender to hold power over you. If we allow our offender's actions to keep us in a state of anger, depression or frustration we are actually granting them power over us.... (thank you dear Esther for teaching me this..)

What does this mean? It means that as long as we hold onto anger and/or bitterness toward our perpetrator .. we are chained, gripped, locked to the perpetrator's assault. Our emotions take on a life of their own and they begin to control us.

If we do not forgive the person who has harmed us, we are held hostage to the ANGER and RAGE we feel about what they did to us. Only forgiveness will break those chains and set us free.

If you have read my hub entitled "Encounter with God" you were given just a glimpse into the type of Dad I had. You may even think that my father deserved to be hated and believe me I did hate him. For far too many years that hatred clouded my judgement of people, especially men.

You see, I also allowed my Dad's treatment of me to define my view of who I was. It affected my ability to trust people. I gave him power to make me feel small and unworthy. Only through forgiveness could I begin to experience freedom from his hold on my life.

Source

Forgiveness is Ongoing

I now recognize that my Dad's ugliness had nothing to do with me. It was his pain and his issues. He had a terrible life (until the last few years - a miracle story for another day) filled with venomous, violent anger. He was a miserable man. I am quite sure he experienced self-loathing which took a toll on his health.

In my Encounter Hub, I shared that it wasn't until just recently I discovered that I had (unwittingly) allowed Dad the power to affect my views and relationship towards God. As in the case with my Dad, forgiveness, in some cases, is not a one time deal.

Forgiveness is a Funny Thing
Forgiveness is a Funny Thing | Source

Forgive Them?

When I talk about forgiveness being healing, I do not mean that you must go to the person to tell them you forgive them.

In fact, if the person is unaware or if he is a troublemaker or mean spirited person .... please DO NOT go to them because your sincere effort to forgive will probably spark another assault.

If there is an encounter to be made .... with this type of person ... it must be initiated by the offender who recognizes the offense and comes to ask for forgiveness.

Forgiveness can be one-sided you know .... taking place in your own heart. Forgiveness is a deliberate choice we make. Once it is made we are no longer held bondage to unhealthy emotions.

FRIENDSHIP: If the person who offended you is a true friend that you trust; forgive quickly knowing your friend meant no harm. However, If the offense really bothers you, a clearing of the air may be necessary and appropriate. A true friend will allow you to come to him/her with your hurt. They will gain some insight into you and how their words or behavior affect you (and possibly others.)

Forgiveness Quotes

The essence of forgiveness is simple, but it is not merely an action. It goes deeper and the application can be very evasive.

I have gathered some nuggets of truth, by people you may know. I have also included quotes from Father God.

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." Martin Luther King

This quote is actually very Biblical. Jesus says that He is the light and equates hate as the equivalent of murder.

"For if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:15

Whoa, slow down Nellie ... those are serious consequences for holding on to UN-forgiveness.

"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." Mark 11:25

Do you see what Jesus is saying ... If we have something against some one STOP praying to Him. He tells us to forgive that person so that our Father can forgive us.

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

God forgave us of our sins. He gave His son Jesus to restore us to Himself and to assure us a home in Heaven where we will dwell forevermore

"To err is human; to forgive, divine." Alexander Pope

We are not able to forgive in our own strength. It takes God's power to wipe out the devastating affects of offense.

"You may wish to be loving--you may even try with all your might--but your love will never be pure unless you are free from resentment. When we are free from resentment, loving is effortless. When we have to try hard to love, this is generally a sign that we are repressing our resentments."
--John Gray (Men, Women and Relationships)

As for me I Will Always Have Hope
As for me I Will Always Have Hope | Source

Release - Pray - Forgive

It's time my friend. Time to let go and let God do what only He can do. God will deal with the perpetrator - you can count on it. "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord." Romans 12:19

Release, pray and forgive .. it is the only way to find healing and peace for the heart that has been torn asunder by grievous hurts. Remember to go back to part one and practice the FORGIVENESS PRAYER. It works and when you heal you will move on to a richer and fuller life. We have a choice; Become Better NOT Bitter. "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

Please take time to view the following video. A woman tells the story of her journey from hatred to forgiveness. Watch it all the way to the end and hear Matthew West's heart of prayer in his song Forgiveness - It is POWERFUL!

Forgiveness by Matthew West - A TRUE STORY OF FORGIVING THE UNTHINKABLE

Forgiveness Poll

Forgiveness

  • Is something that just happens when I'm good and ready
  • Is a Choice I made
  • Is impossible in some cases
See results without voting

© 2013 Susan Ream

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Comments 21 comments

Mekenzie profile image

Mekenzie 2 years ago from Michigan Author

I found it and it is terrific! Thank you


CatherineGiordano profile image

CatherineGiordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

The hub isn't published yet, it is in the approval process. Check tomorrow. It is very nice of you to take a look.


Mekenzie profile image

Mekenzie 2 years ago from Michigan Author

Catherine, Welcome to hubpages! Thank you for reading and affirming my article on Forgiveness. Forgiveness heals and frees us like nothing else can.

I think you are wise to write from your experience and heart before reading what others say. Speaking of which, I looked through your hubs for an article on forgiveness and did not find one. Do you have your article published on hubpages?

I appreciate your kind words Catherine!

Blessings to you,

Mekenzie


CatherineGiordano profile image

CatherineGiordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

A very strong article about forgiveness with a lot of good advise. I just did my own article on forgiveness. I never read the other articles before I write my own so I won't be influenced. I read them afterwards to see how I measure up. You set the bar really high.


Mekenzie profile image

Mekenzie 2 years ago from Michigan Author

Karen, Yes I have lived it and I have wrestled with it and can testify to the power of forgiveness in my life. It is through the darkest times the light of God shines brightest as he leads us to His very heart. He uses those times to teach us truth we would never understand without the trial. :)

The recommendation under "Forgive Them" was especially important to me to convey and I'm so glad it stuck out to you.

Thank you for your very encouraging comment, I value your thoughts.

Bless you Friend!

Mekenzie


karenfritz profile image

karenfritz 2 years ago

This is excellent. I can tell you have truly LIVED this and wrestled with it, and that makes the most beautiful writing. I especially appreciated the recommendation under the "Forgive Them" heading. A good reminder that I can still forgive---and it isn't always right to approach the other person. Wise advice and encouragement.


Mekenzie profile image

Mekenzie 2 years ago from Michigan Author

Hi there Ruby, I hear you and I even know what you mean. There are horrific 'things' that happen to people that 'feel' as if it would be wrong to grant forgiveness.

I have had some 'horrific things' happen in my lifetime. It has only been through forgiveness that I have been released from the bondage of bitterness and pain that resulted. To forgive does not mean to forget about the 'thing' done. Just not possible .. right?

I do believe we can release the horror into God's hands as we pray that He deals with the person justly. Next we make an active choice to forgive ... saying the words while not 'feeling' it at all. I have more than once experienced the power of praying the simple forgiveness prayer. It released me from the damaging consequences of the 'thing' done to me. I am a true testimony to the fact that forgiveness heals.

Thanks for visiting and leaving your thoughts Ruby ..

Blessings to you!

Mekenzie


Ruby H Rose profile image

Ruby H Rose 2 years ago from Northwest Washington on an Island

Some "things" can never be forgiven or forgotten, some "things" can be let go of, life changing. When it comes to people......great food for thought, thanks.


Mekenzie profile image

Mekenzie 3 years ago from Michigan Author

Hi teaches, Most of us have to learn the hard way. My desire is to save some from that 'hard' way of learning.

Forgiveness is not always deserved for sure .. but it is what God has commanded and He does not tell us to do anything that is not for our own good. ;)

Appreciate your insightful comments as always dear lady. It's a beautiful day here in Michigan - I hope your day is filled with sunshine too.

Blessings!

Mekenzie


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 3 years ago

Thank you for the reminder on forgiveness and the power it has to help one move forward. I had to learn this the hard way, now I try to remember forgiveness is not always deserved, but it helps you to heal.


Mekenzie profile image

Mekenzie 3 years ago from Michigan Author

Hi icbenefield, It does hurt us and stunt our (emotional and spiritual) growth when we fail to forgive and move past the event. God has commanded us to forgive even as He forgave us. Thank you for the kind words and the vote up etc. I appreciate the time you took to read and leave your thoughts too!

God Bless You!

Mekenzie


Mekenzie profile image

Mekenzie 3 years ago from Michigan Author

Hi sweet Faith, In relationship to the importance of forgiveness, I like how you phrased this truth: "That bitterness will rot us to our bones and actually make us physically sick!"

Most people don't understand how important it is to forgive. Prayer, as you say, is what breaks the chains that bind us to our offender.

In part one I wrote out the "Forgiveness Prayer" which a wonderful man of God taught me. It is the KEY to releasing God's power of forgiveness into our life. I just repeated it every time the hurt manifested. After 3 days .. compassion for the offender replaced the hurt that was consuming me.

Thanks for the encouraging words dearone and for your ever faithful uplift.

God's Best to you I pray,

Mekenzie


lcbenefield profile image

lcbenefield 3 years ago from Georgia

Thanks for the timely reminder. Not forgiving hurts us not the other person. God doesn't mean for us to hold grudges and not let go of the pain or hatred. Bless you for sharing this. Voted up, awesome, and useful.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

Oh, my dearest friend, Mekenzie,

What a profound hub full of truth, His truths! You're right, it does sound ridiculous to forgive such horrid offenses, but when we do not, then that person still has power over us, and we allow that person to continue to harm us, even when maybe the actual physical or verbal abuse is no longer. That bitterness will rot us to our bones and actually make us physically sick!

Prayer helps me the most, but sometimes when I am so hurt, I cannot find the words, but He knows my heart and torment no doubt!

Thank you for this amazing write. You are a beautiful and cherished daughter of the King! I praise Him for you this day and each day!

Voted up ++++ and sharing

God bless you. In His Love Always, Faith Reaper


Mekenzie profile image

Mekenzie 3 years ago from Michigan Author

Hi coach, You always come by with the most uplifting and encouraging comments. Your hubs are the same way, filled with encouragement and inspiration - I love your writing.

I am touched by what you say about forgiveness ... it's not easy, but neither was the atonement. Jesus paid it all ... all to Him I owe. We sure didn't deserve His forgiveness - yet He so loved us that He gave His life that we might live ... abundantly (right here - right now) and eternally. What wondrous Grace is this .. oh my soul.

You are a precious friend and I thank you for shining out for all to see and know that through Him all things a possible!

Blessings today and always,

Mekenzie


Mekenzie profile image

Mekenzie 3 years ago from Michigan Author

Hey Jainismus, Forgiveness heals the heart of the one crushed by betrayal or other offenses. I'm not sure most can forget or ignore an assault, to our person, especially a grievous one.

The only way to be free from the pain caused by another is to make a deliberate choice to forgive.

In the first part ... on this topic .. I shared the forgiveness prayer which was the key to setting me free from the hurt. God did what I could not do - He took it from me and replaced the pain with compassion for the offender - only God can do that.

I appreciate your visit to my hub and for leaving a kind comment.

Mekenzie


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

You have written a very important message. Without forgiveness we have no peace and are unable to love both ourselves and others. We have been commanded to "love one another" and to "forgive." Is this easy? Absolutely not. But neither was the atonement.

You have pointed out the beautiful reasons to forgive others. We must also forgive ourselves. The greatest healer is love. But without forgiveness in our hearts we cannot love.

I can't begin to thank you for this much needed and inspiring hub. Oh, how we all need to be reminded about the power of forgiveness. I will share this and have voted up, useful, awesome, beautiful and interesting.

Thank you dear mekenzie for the light you have brought to me this day! Hugs.


Mekenzie profile image

Mekenzie 3 years ago from Michigan Author

Hi Sharon, I see you know the healing power of forgiveness and the damage that carrying forward grudges or hatred stirs up within. It does affect us emotionally and our peace of mind fljes out the window when we need it most.

I agree that it is NOT easy ... it is not even natural. That is why, in part one, I wrote out the Forgiveness Prayer because God can do through us what we cannot do .. forgive. When He does it then His peace fills our hearts with Joy.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts,

God Bless You,

Mekenzie


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

When we forgive, we come out the winner, True forgiveness comes from the heart and led by the spirit Forgiveness is a freeing thing to do. We should make it a point t forgive someone every day. When we don't forgive we place ourselves in a position to lose out. Thanks for this hub!


jainismus profile image

jainismus 3 years ago from Pune, India

Great Hub. You are right, forgiveness heals. Forgiving people for their mistakes and wrong behavior with us, forgetting and ignoring such incidents surely helps us to heal and to have a peace of mind.


ChitrangadaSharan profile image

ChitrangadaSharan 3 years ago from New Delhi, India

Very nice and beautiful thoughts expressed in this hub. I agree forgiveness does heal. I do forgive people, because I believe there is no point in carrying forward grudges. It affects us emotionally and the peace of mind is lost. It may also affect our present as well as future.

Having said that I must admit, it is not easy, if the damage has been done by someone you trusted or someone close. But wisdom says, we must forgive, for our own well being.

Thanks for sharing this engaging hub!

Voted up and shared!

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