Forgiving When There is No Apology
Anyone who has ever been hurt can tell you how painful it seems to forgive when the offender apologizes. But what if there is no apology. Should you forgive someone when the offender hasn’t even bothered to ask for forgiveness? You may not want to hear this, but the answer is yes.
During Alexia’s junior year of high school, she was hurt by “so-called” friends. The pain went deep. When it was all said and done, the people who hurt her never once apologized; they didn’t even appear slightly bothered by the grief they caused her. As a result, Alexia never forgave them. She saw no point in forgiving people who didn’t want (or feel they need) her forgiveness.
A year or so went by and Alexia still hadn’t forgiven them. During that time, she went through the equivalent of a spiritual drought. She still went to church and read her Bible, but she just couldn’t get close to God. She couldn’t quite put on finger on the problem, but something was standing in the way of her relationship with God.
She finally realized that as a result of her failure to forgive, her heart had been overcome with bitterness and hatred. At that point, she really knew that she needed to forgive, but she had harbored resentment in her heart for so long that she didn’t know how to get rid of it.
She had a long talk with her Heavenly Father and asked him to help her out, and He did. She was able to release the pain and hurt into His care and not even worry about it anymore. It should be noted that the process did not take place overnight. It was a lengthy, painful process full of many tears.
The ordeal the Alexia went through, allowed her to learn a valuable, life-defining lesson: forgiveness is more for the person who was offended than the person who committed the offense. In order for the offended party to be able to move on and maximize their potential, he or she must willingly extend forgiveness – whether it is offered or not.
Forgiveness isn’t easy. No matter how apologetic the wrong doer appears to be, it is far easier to hold grudges and remember the pain than it is to release an offense. Nevertheless, when we are wronged, it would be in our best interest to practice Instant Forgiveness and forgive the offending party right then and there. Instant Forgiveness makes life a whole lot more beautiful.
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