How To Get Over Your Ex In Two Weeks!

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How To Get Over Your Ex In Two Weeks

I once spent months devastated about a breakup. Crying myself to sleep, crying all the way to work, putting on a brave face during the day, and crying all the way home, and then calling him to ask "Why?" (One more time), pleading for another chance - or yelling at him for hurting me, or sending him Poetry by email... I almost felt like a crazy woman. I almost could have been considered a stalker. I just couldn't deal with it. I did not know how. I hadn't had my heart broken by someone I loved before. I didn't expect it to happen. Why did he leave me for her? I hadn't done anything wrong. How could he do this to me?

I have learned so much since then. My attitude towards breakups is so much different now. You could say I even have a 'Breakup Recovery Plan'. I don't anticipate a breakup, but if it happens I am organised. I never again want to spend months of my life, my time, crying over someone who does not want to give me the love I deserve. Someone who's choosing to miss out on all the good things I have to offer. Someone who is not going to be a part of my future.

I realize that a man's decision to leave me is really his loss, not mine, because I don't want to be with someone who can decide almost over night to take off with another woman - or who has changed his mind about our relationship, for whatever reason. I know that no amount of 'pleading' is necessary or is going to make him 'wake up to himself' and see what he's losing. Actually, I don't feel he even deserves to know exactly what he's missing out on. I wouldn't even assume that the other woman he's interested in is necessarily 'better' or 'worse' than me. She is another woman, someone's daughter, someone's sister - it's not any of my business. I doubt it will work out anyway - jumping from one relationship to the next...

The truth is, ex boyfriends usually come back when left to their own devices; and say they made a mistake - no matter what the reason for the breakup is. So, no attempts to clarify things or beg for him for another chance is necessary... It's not easy to take back someone who hurt you though. I choose to move forward. And I know how to do it in two weeks!

It's quite a simple relationship recovery plan. After he's ended the relationship I speak to him and try to tell him exactly how I feel so that I don't have to speak to him again. I do this as soon as possible because it makes ME feel better. You cannot do this via text message, there is not enough characters, but you can write it in a single email if he will not talk to you. I am not worried if I hurt his feelings with what I say and I decide that's the last contact I will have with him. I am confident now he knows how I feel about his actions, and that gives me some peace of mind. I leave him to think about what I've said, but only if he wants to, I don't really mind, it's about me having the opportunity to work quickly towards closure. I am very unlikely to answer the phone if he calls me after this, I am already in the process of moving forward.

Next, I give myself a time-frame for the amount of my time I'm going to allow myself to waste getting over him. I choose two weeks at most. I make a deal with myself that at the end of the two weeks, I won't waste my days or nights thinking about the dead relationship. I know life is fun and beautiful and I don't want to be sad about him hurting me for any longer than this.

During the two weeks, I allow myself to mope around and be as sad as I want. I might read online articles or books about relationships - trying to learn something that might make me feel better. I might also speak at length about him to a girlfriend, or to my sister. I'll listen to sad songs and allow myself to cry. I'll go through my photo albums looking at him, thinking of all the good times that are not going to be any more. Then, at the end of the two weeks I decide that it's been long enough (To be unhappy) and I remove all the evidence that the relationship existed. It helps me move forward. I will delete his mobile number from my phone. I delete him (And his family and friends) from my Facebook Friends list. This is a clean break. I put the photos of me with him in the trash - he didn't come through for me in the end. I do whatever I need to do so that I don't come back to thinking about him again. But even if I do, I am quick to remember he's not worth my time any more - I've already spent two whole weeks getting over him, it's in the past now.

With the two weeks over, I feel more positive about the future. I decide to treat myself. I feel empowered that I've had some control over the end of the relationship. I'll book a haircut or manicure and a date with my single girlfriends. And it feels like I've totally moved on...

Best wishes,

Author: Stricktlydating


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Comments: 54 comments

Miranda 4 years ago

thanks for the great advice. excellent hub:)


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Crissylite 4 years ago

Nice article


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stricktlydating 4 years ago from Australia Author

Hi Jerry, Thankyou for commenting and sharing your current situation too. And well done! You sound like you have a new outlook now, and hopefully it makes you feel empowered! I'm glad you enjoyed reading this Hub. I understand your feelings about your ex seeming like an addiction. It's a great step forward by ceasing contact, deleteing her from Facebook and not replying to the texts. If there was anything important she needed to say she would call you. A text is like 30c or FREE depending on your mobile phone plan, and so not worth putting any value on ;) Best wishes for the future and goodluck!


Jerry 4 years ago

This is perfect, exactly what I am going through now. Makes me feel good that someone has felt this exact same way and can express hope in a confident and motivating way. After 4.5 years of a relationship that I was willing to do anything to make work, she left me for someone she met at work. It's been over 3 months and I did all the same things you talk about trying to get back together. I decided yesterday enough is enough and deleted the # and defriended on facebook. I already have been asked "why would you defriend me" thru text, but I'm staying strong and not responding. I'm taking this as you might take a drug addiction. Going cold turkey, gotta drop this bad habit. I literally feel a high when we talk to be disappointed when it's over, it's like a drug, feels good on it but you feel like shit without it. F that, not living like that, be strong now and get happy, depend on nothing but ur own heart and mind. You need you, love yourself and be strong. People will respect that quality about you and want to be part of your life.


Jill 4 years ago

Thanks so much!!


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stricktlydating 4 years ago from Australia Author

Hi Jill, That's tough if you have to see him every day. My best advice would be to find a way to 'switch off' the emotions which come back sometimes when you see him. Find a different way of looking at him so you don't romantisize the past. The way to do it is each time you find yourself thinking a nice thought about him, realise what you're doing and replace that thought with something not so nice about him, so that you train yourself to think of him in a different way and don't keep stirring your emotions about him. For example, if you are talking to him and are thinking in the back of your mind how much you'd like to kiss him, realise what you're doing and replace it with a memory of something bad he once said or did to you, or just say in your mind 'out!' to all the nice thoughts you think about him. Also, if you keep letting him back in your life what is it you're holding onto? You said you get disappointed in yourself, and it's probably because he has not/can not treat you the way you'd really like to be treated, if that's the case you may have unresolved issues with him, and maybe if you have the chance, tell him straight out how he has disappointed you, and that you don't like it when you continue to let him back in your life. Maybe discussing it head on would help you having to go back for more and more, where you find yourself going around in circles with him. If he's not good enough, let yourself realise it, except it for what it is, and then you should feel better able to turn him down in the future ;) Best wishes.


Jill 4 years ago

I agree with everything and love it. I can't get over him, I've tried and I let him back into my life every time... I'm disappointed in myself for that. How do I get over him when I see him everyday?


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stricktlydating 4 years ago from Australia Author

Thanks for your comments.

Hi Pist, you know getting cheated on makes them look bad, not you. Yes, I emagine it would be a whole lot more difficult when you have to keep in touch with an ex partner because of having children involved.


pist off 4 years ago

it is easier said than done but i totally agree. When you have children you can't just erase the other person. Also been cheated on makes you worthless and can take your confidence


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Alex Singleton 4 years ago from Surf City USA CA

Thanks for the Hub.


Alex Singleton profile image

Alex Singleton 4 years ago from Surf City USA CA

Great advice love the HUB.


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stricktlydating 4 years ago from Australia Author

Thanks for your comment mojefballa, so true!


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mojefballa 4 years ago from Nigeria

Sometimes relationship sucks..the heartbreak and the rest. Its definitely not easy being in love.


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stricktlydating 4 years ago from Australia Author

Thanks Lerato! Always gotta have a plan :)


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stricktlydating 4 years ago from Australia Author

Hi Loveonline, Thanks for sharing your experience on this topic, that's great that you've found something that works for you to get over someone too!


Lerato 4 years ago

I really like the relationship recovery plan. It's reallllly helpful


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stricktlydating 4 years ago from Australia Author

That's great Ershruti304, I hope the advice you give her will help her on her way to getting over him, best wishes!


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loveonline 4 years ago

I have only been in 'true love' a couple of times and each time that I had to move on and get over my ex - the only way was to be with another woman and then it would all go away.


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ershruti304 4 years ago from Shimla

Thanks for such a great hub. One of my friend have recently gone through break off. I'll surely suggest her to go through your hub and get motivated.


naturalsolutions 5 years ago

I can't still believe it, even if i keep in mind that it is over. The memory that kills me are still there. I give a lot of great advice to my friends regarding on this but i can't do it to my self. I admire you in moving on for just two weeks, but i think your not totally inlove with the one who breaks your heart.


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stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia Author

Hi Naturalsolutions,

Yes you can get over your ex within 2 weeks if you make up your mind that that's what you're going to do. I've done it with success several times. You can decide how long you're prepared to feel heartbroken over someone who does not want to continue the relationship with you, or you can accept the decision and move forward without taking it personally.


naturalsolutions 5 years ago

Getting over in your ex for just two weeks? I cant really understand how it is. Moving on is definitely difficult specially when you put in mind that he/she will your partner for the rest of your life. Even our friends always telling us that we can survive and it just take time, healing a broken heart has no formula or even a process.


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stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia Author

Hi Deborah, thanks very much, I really appreciate it. And you're right, we've all been there and wasted time over someone who's already moved on! Best wishes to you ;)


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DeborahFantasia 5 years ago from Italy

I LOVE your hub ! I agree, we've all been there and have wasted so much time "getting over" someone when they've moved on months before ! Great advice, voted up and useful :)


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stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia Author

That's great, thanks Tim!


tim 5 years ago

wow, i think this writing is powerful


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stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia Author

Hi OhhSAMNitsGigi, Thankyou for your message, and sorry to hear you've been having a rough time. I'm glad to hear you found this helpful and are going to try it. I have been in your shoes, where I was spending my time crying over someone (Who was not worth crying over). To think while you're upset he's saying things behind your back is terrible, and maybe also a wakeup call for you, so you can see that you are wasting tears over someone who is not good enough for you. Please also save yourself from getting upset by looking at his facebook pictures by blocking him (Getting him out of mind and out of sight will be the beginning of ending your pain) Goodluck and best wishes.


OhhSAMNitsGigi 5 years ago

Umm No This is helpful im Gonna try it and see if it works me and my ec boyfriend just broke up 4-29-2011 and its sad all i ever do is cry over him i look at his pictures on facebook and think look what i lost i wanted him back really bad but hes saying rude things behind my back and i need to move now !


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stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia Author

Thanks for sharing your point of view HattieMattieMae


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HattieMattieMae 5 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

hmm, well that is a good article, but most people don't get over their boyfriends in two weeks and you never know how relationships end up. Sometimes they work out and sometimes they don't. Yet on the other hand if you never leave room for talking to someone and hearing them out, or learning to forgive you lose in an important lesson. Forgiveness is what holds love together in the middle of the storm, and fortunately what you can't do before your married you won't be able to do once you are married. Dating has the same issues as marriages to a certain extent and if you have no clue what your doing dating. Than when you get married you are completely lost too. Breaking up is hard to do, and you did makes some good pointers. Only one thing about throwing everything in the trash, you didn't throw out every thing in your head with trash. We sometimes throw things away, yet still bury them in our mind, and think we have dealt with it but really haven't. It takes time to heal, and recover from relationships, and of course two weeks he might be off your mind, but everything else is till in there.


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stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia Author

Thanks for your comment Pollyannalana!


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Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US

I know hearing advice is easier than doing it. Some have deeper feelings and I can see it taking more than two weeks but as long as you learn a lesson as to why it went wrong or what you didn't see about this person that you should have, what is a few weeks? Better safe than many repeats,

Polly


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crystolite 5 years ago from Houston TX

Good hub,thanks.


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stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia Author

What a lovely compliment! Thanks Ingenira.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago

Very good advice. You are an expert indeed !!


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stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia Author

Hi Bronson Hub, It was punctuation left in from editing! Fixed now! Thanks :)


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Bronson_Hub 5 years ago from San Francisco, CA

"..."Changed his mind" about our relationship, for whatever reason."

I'm curious, what do the quotes imply around the phrase, changed his mind?


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stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia Author

Thanks for sharing your story Angel1709. Best wishes!


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Angel709 5 years ago from midwest

I think it takes longer when we have invested a lot and feel we have lost a lot of our invested love, attention, and effort. It's the love WE put in as a woman (or man), that we are grieving, not necessarily the person that's gone. I find it easier to move forward when I have important and enjoyable things to do. This is not to play rebound to fill the hole, but to redirect my focus on things I value. I view the time and love invested as my experience and a lesson to grow from. And, nothing is lost as I have the opportunity to get the return on my love in my next relationship or other kind of venture. BTW, I was married for 15+ years, and I am not dating and I am happy. It's almost been a year divorced, and 2+ separated. I'm taking this time to date ME and get my life in order to be compatible for greatness. I am my best friend, and will not give my love, but share it.


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stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia Author

Thankyou Dynicky and acetnna, I appreciate your feedback!


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acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

Gosh only two weeks! I think it would take me a lifetime to get over my man! Great information as always.


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Dynicky 5 years ago

This is really helpful! Thanks for sharing!


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stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia Author

Hi SuperManIsDead, In my case it's a matter of learning from a past breakup - I spent too long looking for answers to why my boyfriend left - and crying because he no longer wanted to be with me. It was a terrible time which affected me for months. I realise that I do not need all the answers (as to why he chose to leave) in order to move on - I simply make a choice to decide that is what I will do in order to avoid wasting chunks of my life being miserable about someone who isn't going to be in my future anyway. I will allow myself some time to totally indulge in the emotions of a breakup (up to 2 weeks) and then I don't find it in any way productive to invest any more time into it. When someone leaves you it's easy to allow it to affect your self-esteem - wondering things such as "What could I have done different?" and "Why doesn't he love me?" and "What's wrong with me that made him leave?". I still feel heartbroken initially (if I wanted the relationship) but I don't take his decision to leave so personally. People have their own reasons for ending a relationship with you, all kinds of silly reasons and you might never know exactly why. But it doesn't mean you're not a fantastic individual or anything like that. And, it doesn't mean you HAVE TO spend a long time in recovery from a relationship which is going to be over regardless.


SuperManIsDead 5 years ago

I don't get this, this is just saying that you do the same thing everyone does after heart-break. But you put a choice to stop hurting after 2 weeks and that's it? I'd be curious to know how long you dated the individual. if you have loved someone for years, your not over it in 2 weeks. Doesn't matter if you tell yourself you've already grieved so you can't no more...silly, silly article.


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ItsThatSimple 5 years ago from Florida

Don't spend too long crying! But grieving is an important step. Getting over a relationship that had a high emotional investment is similar to going through the stages of grief!


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stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia Author

Hang in there Lovingu. You deserve to live a happy life.


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Lovingu 5 years ago from London

Well written and informative. I can so relate to your words. I am finding it's taking a lot longer than two weeks though!


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stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia Author

Thanks QudsiaP1! Very best wishes to you too!


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QudsiaP1 5 years ago

Someone who does not value you, is not worth grieving and wasting time over, my dear.

Well written hub.

This is to wish you with all the greetings for this season and every other season.

Whatever the faith, religion or belief, united we stand as human beings celebrating each and every happy occasion that may come along our way.

*Merry Christmas* & a *Happy New Year*!!


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delima05 5 years ago from Lancaster, NY

I like a few of your points, but it almost seems like you want to go through the grieving, instead of saying 2 weeks, maybe you should write about ideas on how to get over an ex..but without the written date. the idea of "hey im going to be depressed for 2 weeks and done" dosent work as well as trying to get over him ASAP. i get the point you are getting across but perhaps you would like a title more down the line of

"griving process of forgetting the ex" and then explain your ideas.. just a though but i like your hub. same thing happen to me, long time gf and friend walk away over night for someone else. and you are right, if they value yours friendship enough to talk, be friends, or anything down that line, then i guess she just aren't good enough to be your friend. you're a pretty girl so he has to be losing out on something, hope this helps.


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stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia Author

Hi Diogenes, thankyou for your comment. Yes breakups hurt. This Hub is about reducing the pain of a breakup by making a concious decision to put a time limit on the grief. And if you find yourself wondering afterwards about things like forgiveness etc - you just remember you have already had your two weeks thinking about why they don't want to be with you, so you don't need to think about it further. I have found it helps so much in moving forward. Best wishes.


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stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia Author

Hi Mondito, it's so that you don't spend longer than this crying over someone who is not worth it.


diogenes 5 years ago

From the male standpoint, we get it more or just as much as you guys do. Byron muttered something about "Leaving him strength to love as he was beyong being beloved." I'm about there! But breakups are hard to handle, especially when infidelity is an element (should I forgive; should't I?). Things generally just don't last, I think we expect too much from relationships...but if you're the romantic type?? Bob


Mondino 5 years ago

.... why get over someone in two weeks?

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