Getting Over a Broken Engagement: My Experience
I never thought my engagement could end without a wedding!
My ex-fiance and I had been dating for a little more than 3 1/2 years, and had been engaged for 8 months. We were young, in our mid-twenties, but a lot of our friends were getting married or were engaged. I think my ex had felt pressured by friends, family, and myself, and as a result was swept into committing to an engagement that he was actually not sure about. He thought that in time he would be okay with it, but this did not turn out to be the case.
As for myself, there was nothing I was more excited about than a wedding. I was an excellent planner and in the first few months had the date, the venue, the caterer, the invitations and save-the-dates, bridesmaids and their dresses, and more. My dress was chosen three days after I got the ring! I was always a little sad that I did not receive an actual proposal, however, because we had just gone shopping for a ring and he gave it to me right afterward.
When my ex told me that he thought we should break up, I thought he was joking. I was very confused how this could be happening when I would have done anything for this person. I didn't think there were any serious problems in our relationship. In fact, our friends all thought that we were the most compatible. We rarely fought. We had just had our engagement party. Everyone was surprised by the news, and when they asked me what happened, I really couldn't tell them myself.
As it turned out, however, there were a lot of things that my ex did not tell me. There were a few things about me that bothered him, but he didn't take the time to communicate with me about them so that I could address them (and not even major things, either). For the most part, however, he saw his bachelor life slipping away and wanted to take it back before it disappeared.
I can understand this - but it would have been great to know earlier!
I was devastated at first. For the first few days I was in denial and thought we would get back together. However, in a short time I realized that this would not happen. Moreover, after this experience took place, things came out about him that I didn't know before and I realized that this person I had been with for more than four years was actually somebody I didn't know nearly as well as I thought I did!
For me, the realization that I was not going to marry this person who held things back and who wanted different things than I did really helped me to move on. I saw that there were a lot of opportunities that I could now take again as a single girl. Throughout the process, I never felt that my world was over because there is an entire world out there, with so many things to do!
I quickly took advantage of things that I had always wanted to do, and had the chance to spend more time with my good friends. I started dating again and had a blast. While I was happy with my life before, I have had the chance to see the many other things I can do rather than sit at home and wait for my partner to come home from work. I believe that there is no time to waste in life wallowing and missing someone who doesn't miss you.
One of the things I always wanted to try was online dating, and I signed up for Match.com. I had a great time dating, and now I'm dating someone who I truly feel is just the best :)
I couldn't be happier with my life right now, and I would like to thank my ex for giving me the opportunity to live my life to the fullest! I wish him the best in his future.
I think that marriage is still a beautiful thing, and I am now looking forward to a relationship that will enhance my life. I'm saving my wedding dress because I still love it. And maybe I can get the proposal that I've always wanted!
- 20 Tips for Surviving a Broken Engagement and Moving on with Your Life - Life Love Beauty™
Rebounding from a broken engagement? Try these 20 tips to help you survive a broken engagement or any breakup so that you can move on with your life. Dating and relationships experts weigh in on the best ways you can cope and heal.
- Broken Engagement
If either of you, or both of you, have decided that you shouldn't marry one another, please don't think you've failed. Although breaking an engagement is a difficult thing to do, it is less painful to call off the wedding now than it is to file for d
- How to Get Over a Broken Engagement - wikiHow
How to Get Over a Broken Engagement. Getting over a broken engagement is never easy - your dreams, hopes, and future wishes are all completely dashed in a moment. The bridal magazines sit around, the suit or dress might even be hanging in...
- I Survived Broken Engagement | Group with Personal Stories, Forums and Chat
Have You Survived Broken Engagement? Join friendly people sharing 22 true stories in the I Survived Broken Engagement group. Find forums, advice and chat with groups who share this life experience.
- How to start dating again after a broken engagement? - relationships dating | Ask MetaFilter
More by this Author
Have you ever heard of power feminism? Two women, Katie Roiphe and Naomi Wolf, say that society doesn't oppress women because women are powerful enough to control their fates. Women who don't have the mindset of a...
How much should an engagement ring cost? One rule states that it should cost two months worth of wages. In reality, a couple should work together to decide how much an engagement ring should cost. Learn about a few...
Over the years as I've developed my own drawing style, I've tried a variety of mediums and have discovered the pros and cons of each. Read about my experiences with pencil, charcoal, pastel, watercolor, and ink.