Girl, it's time to bail

Girls, "this" could be YOU

collapsed in the floor after your unattentive "steady" man has dumped you.
collapsed in the floor after your unattentive "steady" man has dumped you. | Source

So, pretty girl, there you are

and don't you look ravishing in that dress that maxed-out your Visa card. Wow, what a nice figure you have. Your guy, what was his name, oh yeah, "Biff," that guy from Princeton you've been seeing for now on to six months sure is lucky to have you. And I am sure that he has told you too that "you" are fortunate to have a guy of his caliber.

What? Oh, you don't think so? I am suddenly taken-back by your response. I mean, we see you and "Biff," most all of the time in your favorite club dancing, laughing, sipping drinks, flirting and making-out sometimes to the amazement of your waiter, "Todd." Some couples would pay good money to have "that" kind of chemistry that you two have.

So why the new dress? Oh, you think that "sometimes," "Biff," doesn't pay you enough attention. Is that right? Tut, tut. That happens to all couples at one time or the other. Just take it from "Uncle Kenneth," I have been around long enough to know that relationships are seldom perfect and even the best relationships lose a spark or two along the way, so cheer up. Dry those tears and open your eyes to the harsh, cruel fact, girl, that . . .maybe . . .

"Girl, it's time to bail . . ."

You know what the term "bail" means, right? It means, if you don't know, get out. Now. While the getting is good. Before "Biff," or some other "jerk," literally sucks all of the life right out of you. Girl, time is not on your side although you sing that Rolling Stones song all of the time, face it. "Biff," has his mind on other things. Well, other girls. Ohhh, I went and said it. Well, someone had to. Otherwise you would have went on dreaming and believing that you had "the perfect" guy and the greatest relationship since Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston.

"But I do all of the things, 'Biff' wants me to do," you say. "I cook, I clean for him, pay most of his bills, make our "bedroom time" a virtual "paradise of hedonistic pleasure, so what can I do," you ask.

"Uncle Kenneth" to the emotional rescue, (now you've got me doing Rolling Stone song titles). You can sit back, take a deep breath and look at the points below and see if any or all of these "relationship-saving" tips apply to you, and if they do . . .remember, "Uncle Kenneth," who loves you and hates to see you used, says . . .

"Girl, it's time to bail."

"GIRL, IT'S TIME TO BAIL, IF . . ."


  1. While at dinner, and you are sharing your feelings, and say something like this: "dear, today, I had some feelings come up about my "ex," and well, it made me feel weird, so what do I do?" and "jerko," I mean, "Biff," who has stared directly into his plate loaded down with English peas, asparagus, and beef tips, replies, "oh, sorry, hun. You hit a deer? Wow, that's sad. Poor deer. I hate to have your feelings come up over your car hood and hey, maybe I can get your insurance guy to "EX"tract some extra cash from this accident."
  2. A male friend of "Biff's" who likes you, confides in you at the laundry mat that when "Biff," is with him and his college frat buddies, you have the glamorous nick name of, "Loose Linda," and "Biff," says this nick name a lot, prods his beer-guzzling, self-absorbed, loafer-wearing, cardigan-sweater loving friends in the ribs and guffaws loudly.
  3. "Biff" sometimes shows-up an hour late to pick you up for your standing Friday night date. And he has the vague scent of Chanel No. 5 on his shirt collar.
  4. "Biff," always has a sickening smile on his lips, even before "bedroom time." Girl, a guy who smiles "ALL" of the time is either up to something or hiding something from you.
  5. Then when you have had enough of this sickening smile, you say, "Biff, hun-eee, is there something you want to talk to me about?" "Biff," sneers at you and smiles even more and eventually replies (without looking at you), "Ohhh, Loose, err, I mean, Linda, nothing for you to be worried about. Now how about whipping "ME" up a plateful of scrambled eggs mixed with expensive white wine?"
  6. "Biff" makes you buy the eggs and wine every time he has the hankering for these food items.
  7. "Biff" seems to be captivated by winking at known-hookers who are "working" the area near the restaurant he takes you to on Sunday nights.
  8. "Biff" sits and picks his teeth after he "wolfs-down" his meal at the restaurant and then starts-up a sports-related conversation with a stranger three tables away from you.
  9. "Oh, Loose, errr, I mean, sweet Linda, did you say something?" "Biff" asks after ingoring you for over an hour.
  10. "My secretary has a dress just like that one you are wearing and man, oh man, does she look hot in it," SHOULD I EVEN EXPLAIN THIS ONE TO YOU?
  11. "Biff," always slides the check for restaurants, movies, and other high-end purchases in your direction when out on the town doing some Christmas shopping.
  12. "Biff," always tells YOU what to buy him for his birthday, Christmas and when you are just spending money on a whim.
  13. In your special, intimate "bedroom time," "Biff" plays games on his tablet while "you" do the things to him that turn him on.

Girl, or girls who are in the sad predicament of dating a man who is selfish, rude, self-important, and snobbish . . .these are 13 things YOU need to look at and ask yourself honestly, are the "Biff's" of this world worth my time and energy?

Join "Uncle Kenneth," in one, harmonious yell . . ."NOOOOO!"

Until next time, and next "love problem," this is your friend and confidant, "Uncle Kenneth," wishing you, "happy relationships and dates with guys with good ears and hearts."

Oh, and you DO look good in that dress.

"I'm glad that I bailed . . ."

because that "jerk" of a guy never paid one moment's attention to me.
because that "jerk" of a guy never paid one moment's attention to me. | Source

More by this Author


Comments 20 comments

lovedoctor926 4 years ago

Great hub! #9 and #13 are rude and disrespectful. An arrogant guy is definitely a turn-off for me. Some women put up with a lot of crap and abuse from men. Why don't you dump him? Oh, no because I love him. Please!


picklesandrufus profile image

picklesandrufus 4 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

You are spot on...and still very funny. Wake up girls....if he acts like a jerk, then he is a jerk!! good advice Kenneth!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

One has to wonder why any girl would tolerate ANY of those clues for 2 seconds!


toys-everywhere profile image

toys-everywhere 4 years ago from That little rambunctious spot in the back of your mind :)

"Uncle Kenneth", I agree: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! lol.


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

These kind of guys make it easy to look good. Good one. Thank you


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Very funny, but great advice! It sometimes takes awhile to see these things, but it is a great feeling to say "get lost" once you do! Good hub, Kenneth!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear lovedoctor,

I agree with you. "please" is right. Girls, just look deep inside and find your inner-worth and I am sure that YOU are worth a lot more than some "jerk" who only uses you for, errr, good times and then tells his jerk buddies about it.

Girls, you are not a trophy for any low-life's charm bracelet. You are empowered, enabled and confident girls of 2012. Get out of those stupid, acid relationships . . .NOW.

Sincerly,

Uncle Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi there, picklesandrufus,

And a big "thank you" for your kind and supportive comment. I try to tell the truth as I see it. And as a matter of fact, I grew up watching girls, really nice, pretty girls, being used for "sex objects" and for a while, they loved it because it made their other girlfriends jealous. But that soon wore off when they, the used, found out how painful it is to lose your self-worth to a "jerk" for one night of pleasure and be forgotten like yesterday's ball scores.

Enough, I say. Enough. Wise up, girls. You can beat being with jerks if you only try.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Dear Nellieanna,

How have you been? I've missed you. Why do girls tolerate such abuse? Easy. They have been brain-washed into believing that they cannot do any better than have a vulgar, unmannered brute for a companion rather than a warm, sensitive man who CARES for them.

Oh, if I had my life to do over . . .and take back to 1970, the wisdom I have now on how cruel jerks can be toward girls, I could be a motivational speaker and free thousands of girls from lives of torment.

I mean that.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, toys-everywhere,

"THANKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS," I appreciate your lovely cheer. I mean it. Say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to JERRRKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS and LIVE happy.

Uncle Kenneth :)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

MHatter99,

Oh, well, then you are welcome, but I wager that YOU are NO jerk. From your photo, you look like a man of taste and true respect for women. Am I right?


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest Catgypsy,

Thank you for agreeing with this hub. A girl who says, "get lost," is not as much angry as she is wise. Only wish there were more girls like YOU in our world. I mean it.

Kenneth and Crew. PS: Peter winked at you.


Treasuresofheaven profile image

Treasuresofheaven 4 years ago from Michigan

Good advice. These kinds of relationships do exist. Wake up girls, and listen to Uncle Kenneth!


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up and funny. Yes, there are those guys and those girls and girls should keep an ear open about what guys are saying.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

So true, Kenneth. EVERYONE, male and female needs self-respect and intolerance of disrespect! You'd have been a great motivational speaker, though there's no guarantee that hearing the truth about it can or will free those in the clutches of self-doubt and tolerance of being abused (and that's what it is!) can accept the truth. It can be an addiction, one that could require rehabilitation and still the poor things might slide back. But lovingly encouraging is never wasted effort.

And btw - no need to open dialog with the creep by instruction him/her to 'get lost'. The person need only be elsewhere in better conditions.

Opening dialog with such a creep gives advantage of 'overcoming objections'. Why do that?


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Treasures-of-Heaven

"Thank you so much, for your kind remarks." "I depend on the comments and responses of my followers for my next project. And I take this time to wish for you and yours . . ."Happy Thanksgiving."


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

You are right . . .Gypsy Rose Lee. Very true what you said. "Forewarned is forearmed." Somehow I remember that piece of wisdom. Happy Holidays.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Nellieanna,

And you too, are 100% right. Never negotiate or discuss YOUR area of rights with a "jerk" or close-minded man, if you are a girl, and visa versa if you are a man. But stats show that it's mostly girls who are verbally used and taken for granted more than guys.

Shame is what it is. A doggone shame.

And thanks for the vote of support on my Would Be career as a motivational speaker . . .I would have loved it.

Happy Thanksgiving.


Hope2321 profile image

Hope2321 3 years ago from Australia, Adelaide

This has definitely having me subscribed on your hubs! I love the anology you give in alot of your hubs about self absorbed idiots who arent even worth other peoples time. Ive unfortunately been in relationships like this... guys always checking out other chicks when they're already taken, for the reason being "cause their hot" rather than looking to their actual gf and telling them "you look lovely tonight."

These days im more careful about the guys I hang with. I usually like guys who are genuinely supportive towards the goals I have for myself and are happy to share the adventure with me! I'd love a guy who can share and balance out the journey with me ;)

Love this, im definitely reading more of your hubs!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Hope2321,

Your comment was well-written and thought-out. I loved it. And I agree with your thoughts. Guys, me included, SHOULD concentrate on their ONE girlfriend or wife. And at least try to gain that understanding that girls are far-different than guys . . .women use their heads, while men use their brutish desires for hunting better game, if you will.

And Hope, on behalf of men everywhere, I apologize for the jerks in my gender who are like this: Self-absorbed.

And on the otherhand, I have been in short-lived relationships with girls who were so "guy crazy," that all they talked about when they were with me was how good several guy friends were in bed and how Joe made them laugh and so on. It got old. Quick.

Glad that I stopped going with this type of woman.

Men can learn, if given time.

Merry Christmas my new dear friend.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working