Going Single Into Your Thirties And Beyond

Resist the pressure to date just because people keep talking about it. So what if everyone is married and you are thirty at home with the TV and the cat for company? This is far from unappealing in my book. In my twenties I used to buy books that told women how they could win a man's interest, or how to date better, but now I just give those books away. Although certain ones are funny and insightful for those who want to meet somebody, and that is wonderful if that is what you need and want in life. However, I just do not care at all if I never meet someone to date. I have dated, but it never made feel feel excited or good about myself. Actually I have got to the point where I flout certain societal expectations that were made up years ago, such as the premium being placed on being in a relationship.

I do not have kids, and I am not upset about that either. My niece and nephew have enriched my life in many ways, and have never been one of those types of women who looked forward to having a baby. I do not fit in with many women who go on and on about their relationships and "pleasing my man" because these subjects are of no interest to me. Some people might think this is bitter, but I just find it refreshing. I refuse to be a statistic of the divorce treadmill, and it is not in my nature compromising who I am just so I can have a man in my life. Honestly I believe many of us single and intelligent women are alone for a good reason, some men just cannot handle our cogent and pithy thoughts. I have had men tell me I must reform my thinking, but now I just do not care. I am not an extreme Feminist, but writing online has helped me to learn to flaunt societal rules even more. Here are some ways a single woman in her thirties, and beyond, can declare independence against silly societal conventions.

Flaunt silly societal rules and be single way beyond your thirties.
Flaunt silly societal rules and be single way beyond your thirties.

Dine Out Alone

Yes make a point of eating anywhere and everywhere you like, even if are by yourself.  Who cares if other people see you and feel pity.  Honestly, you should probably feel sorry for them if their company is not stimulating enough to find other topics of conversation.   As a personal preferences I only prefer to eat alone at places like Subway, and not at fancy sit-down restaurants.  Did I mention I prefer subs anyway?

Exercise Alone

The solitude of nature is far more stimulating than listening to a group of people prattle on about their ipods.
The solitude of nature is far more stimulating than listening to a group of people prattle on about their ipods.

Experience the sensation of nature by exercising on your own without having to making gym dates with friends.  People who are pedestrians like me are used to getting about on our own anyway, so a walk in nature is far more stimulating than hearing a group of people prattle on about the latest TV show.  I enjoy conversation, but I am more of a one on one kind of person.  When I take walks on my own I have the freedom to go at my own pace, and not to keep up or wait for anyone that does not enjoy my walking speed.

Single women need to blog too!
Single women need to blog too!

Blogging Is For Single Women Too!

We always hear about mommy blogs, but what about the single/childless women bloggers? I extensively write about this subject on my websites and blogs, which is just very refreshing. There is nothing like turning on the computer each morning to update my website on my rants and raves about dating, and being single. Mostly it is my observations on life as a single woman, which is just beautiful and powerful. I may never give birth to a child, but the things I create are meaningful in a way women with children will never understand or get. Do not get me wrong I admire women who are mothers, but there are a few that can be a bit disparaging towards those of us who do not procreate.  I just say women who are married with kids should think a bit more about the comments they make about those of us who do not share their path in life.  A few should step and consider whether they are coming off as judgmental or excluding of their single friends when they make certain comments.  Women who never have children are sometimes underscored in our society, and I think we are just as valuable.  We are all valuable, but the single women blogging movement is about raising this awareness.

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Comments 27 comments

lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

Hey there, SweetiePie-

I've been single on and off most of my life and have never cared what anyone thought. I ate alone, drove across country with my cat in the 70's, and had no urge to be involved.

I remember those to be some of the best times of my life!

Later,

Laurel


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

Lorlie,

It sounds like you have had a lot of great adventures and memories! Traveling with a cat sounds fun :).


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

I wish I stayed single. It would have saved me a lot eo heartache and headache. You done wise. Thank you for your hub.


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

Hi Hello, Hello,

I do not mean to knock relationships, but I do not think these are the end all and be all either. I think our society places way too much emphasis being in one to be "normal and happy," when in reality many relationships cause people to feel bad.


Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 6 years ago from Upstate New York

Believe me, I was MARRIED and home alone with the TV and the cat for company. It's better to be SINGLE and alone with the cat and the TV for company--much better. One doesn't expect conversation from the person who isn't there!


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

Paradise,

You are right in some marriages people probably spend more time alone than together. I do not mind being single personally.


ocbill profile image

ocbill 6 years ago from hopefully somewhere peaceful and nice

I agree with some folks here. Your choice is better.


entertianmentplus profile image

entertianmentplus 6 years ago from United States

Awesome hub thanks.


katiem2 profile image

katiem2 6 years ago from I'm outta here

SP, You've hit on a good subject! I've been married twice and it didn't work for me. I love men and love being in a relationship however above all else I'm a free spirit who must have space, peace and freedom. I feel marriage has placed an undo burden on relationships. Peace :)


hypnodude profile image

hypnodude 6 years ago from Italy

The important thing is to be happy. And it's better to be alone and happy with a book and a cat than to be unhappy with someone. I grew up mostly alone, for various reasons, so I don't find anything wrong in doing thing on my own; what makes a pleasure to go to the restaurant is the food, not the company. But it is also true that a good food becomes great if in good company. So the answer is that either alone or not, if your happy it's ok. :)

Beautiful hub SweetiePie, thumbs both up! :)


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

Thanks for all the great comments everyone!


emievil profile image

emievil 6 years ago from Philippines

Hey SP, how are you doing? Your hub reminds me of my close friend who just got married (I was a 'married' bridesmaid). She's already 36 and all of us, her friends, are like heaving a sigh of relief that she's already married. But in fairness, I've never seen her regret that she 'out-singled' all of us, she enjoyed her life to her fullest and has a fulfilling career as a head of a school. I got married when I was 31 and I liked the fact that I got married at this age because it gave me a chance to enjoy being single for quite a long time. But before that, a lot of people were telling me to get married or end up being an old maid. Never minded them. Now they're after us to have a kid! You just can't win. LOL


lita 6 years ago

hey, sweetie...again, forgive the lack of punctuation, as this keyboard has issues...i'm in a relationship and have been in relationships pretty much since the age of 21. lol i eat alone, run, bike and walk alone and travel alone because sometimes i like it! the traditional couple and marriage thing and people's biting the myths hook, line and sinker is the actual problem. people also need to realize those who do not have children are probably offering as much benefit to society as those who do--ultimately more, in some cases. having children can be viewed as the ultimately selfish act--especially by those who do not offer children the good environment to grow up in, which they deserve.

As you move into your 30's, anyway, having not bit off the traditional thing, you start to notice the self-reliance, style, sense of adventure, etc. that you've built up and practiced is now a thing of admiration and object of jealousy to those who were urging you marry and calling you an 'old maid.' lol! What a Victorian age word. youth lasts a lot longer than your 20's, in reality, if people would just let it and stop being so obsessed with 'being like everyone else,' which is what the whole thing is about, at it's uninspired heart.


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

Hi emi,

I hope people stop pestering you and your husband about having a baby. If you decide to that is your choice, but I say take your time. Thanks for the supportive and understanding comment :).

Lita,

I wish there were more people that could see what you are talking about. True, many people in relationships actually do not feel they must have kids, and are actually very self-reliant. I appreciate the experiences that you share, and maybe some people in co-dependent relationships can learn a thing or two from you :).


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California

This is great SweetiePie. I learned to live alone after 40 years of marriage, and I find it to be more than I expected. I learned that I am good company, so it's not hard at all. As you pointed out doing things alone is not hard. Thanks for the added encouragement.


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

Hi Fastfreta,

That is how I feel, being single is actually fun and great. Some people think they cannot share their lives with a special someone, but I have never felt that way. We are special people, and we can spend time with ourselves, and with family and friends.


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Hi SweetiePie, I just went to visit your blog and reading some of the posts you posted there. :) Now I arrived here again because my birthday is nearing and I wanted to write about this particular topic. hahhahahaha

Anyhow, it's wonderful to read the beautiful things about being single....it has benefits too. That's for sure.

By the way, tis a coincidence of sort... I have also started photo blogging and sharing these photos for free... here is the address if you want to check it out (may you please check it out?..hehehe) http://freeimagesphotos.blogspot.com


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

Ripplemaker,

Nice to hear from you again! Yes I think being single can be a good thing. I will go visit your blog and comment :).


TattoGuy 6 years ago

Loved this hub moi friend, after I got seperated my first thought was to find someone but as time passed I realised I liked being single, take care !


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

TattooGuy,

You know I think those of us who remain single are actually more courageous than those who jump from one relationship to the next. I must say talking to nice single friends such as yourself is much more enjoyable than going on dates with random people whose company I do not enjoy.


TattoGuy 6 years ago

One thing I am a bit weary about is going away on holiday on my own so there is a hub idea for you, going on holiday as a single person, anyways that hub deff made me realise being single is actually good, tis good hearing from you, have missed you ; )


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

I miss talking to you Tattooguy also :). You know I am not on Hubpages much anymore, and just use my hubs to write occasionally. I like your hub idea, and that is a good one. Hey, if you go on vacation alone it is actually better because you might meet someone cute and have a great conversation, who knows!


TattoGuy 6 years ago

Lol we deff must do a catch up some night on msn, I deff wud love some advice about going away on my own. Like you I don't spend as much time on here like I used to, but I try to catch up on moi friends, am off back to work, take a hug my friend !


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

I would be on Hubpages more, and I do miss the old days. I will log into MSN if you are there now :).


TattoGuy 6 years ago

Check yer mail ; )


Kris 6 years ago

Single women write the BEST blogs. Just sayin'... ;)


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

I agree Kris as single women write about a variety of experience that "society" considered taboo little over forty years ago. I enjoy the single women blogging trend, and will check out your blog as well.

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