Going Through The Big D (Drama in Dating!)
Getting Back In The Game
Well, here I am...a 31 year old, newly divorced, successful entrepreneur who is a workaholic and travels close to 30 plus weeks a year, trying to get back into the dating game! I've been divorced for close to 8 months now and been out a few times but I have to tell you that it is pretty interesting out there. The last two weeks of the year usually suck pretty bad as my brothers and sister are both happily hooked up (either married or engaged or in the process of it) and having to be the 7th wheel at Christmas and the third wheel at New Years sucks!
Anyway, after going through that and being home for a stretch of four weeks (which is the most that I've been home since before my divorce), I decided it was time to get back out there! What makes my situation a bit difference is that I still work somewhat with my ex-wife. She works as an admin assistant to one of my business partners and I see her on a weekly basis. Now, we ended on pretty good terms with no attorney's and doing the divorce ourselves. We sold our house quickly at nearly full price and I hit the road for a 13 week stretch while she moved downtown to a small apartment. I simply moved my stuff into a Pod, and hung my clothes up in an empty closet at my brother's house until I would get back and figure which house I was going to move into! Part of our divorce agreement between the two of us was to keep her on as the listing agent on a couple properties that we had together. Not a problem! She was licensed as a realtor and we also agreed that I would continue to use her as a buyer's agent as long as she game me half of her commission. Seven months went by and we seemed to be able to work together, but with Christmas arriving and me starting to date has led to some fun drama!
Now I'm not big on the whole EHarmony thing although I did sit down for an interview with another dating company who wanted to charge me somewhere in between $5,000 and $16,000 for names and introductions! I don't know about you, but I'm pretty comfortable in my abilities and image to realize that at $1,000 an introduction, that's a pretty expensive date. Heck, I don't even put that much earnest money down on the houses I buy! So what was I going to do to meet some honeys?
I figured that I would use my favorite source for finding deals, raising money, and selling property, Craigslist. Craigslist does have an interesting personals section! Not that I was looking at buying or finding ass, but there are some areas of Craigslist that you have to laugh at from time to time at what people will put on Craigslist. I posted a short description of myself and what I was looking for along with a decent couple of pictures. While I did get a few responses from some ladies, I was disappointed at the amount of personal and webcam sights offering to hook me up with "single ladies looking to get laid!" Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a single, heterosexual male that enjoys the company of beautiful women, but I seem to be wired that I need to be with someone with a bit of a mind. If the lady has no brains or common sense, it is just a huge turn off and I'd rather spend the night working or curled up at my house watching a good movie or checking out internet porn.
Anyway, I've been on a few dates and I have to laugh at some of the stories I've heard from my dates along with experiencing some funny ones myself. I had one 29 year old graduate student who I met for lunch and then five hours later was asking for me to cover her tuition costs for the semester at the University of Texas in a text message. Yes, five hours! Do I look like a sugar daddy? I work hard for my money and I enjoy fine things, but I believe to give money to someone who hasn't explored the possibilities of what they can do or achieve is just enabling someone to fail later in life. That girl didn't last long!
I had several escorts call me looking for a steady thing. Not my type! I had another single mom who wanted to bring her kid on a date with us. Now, don't get me wrong, I love kids. But a date is a date and I often find that kids are not properly restaurant trained or should I say people aren't properly children trained for that night out on the town. I had one lady contact me who was about to get married and wanted to sleep with me the night before she got married. I felt honored but, but I had to pass that one up. Karma is a bitch and I didn't want it coming back to bite my ass later on down the line. All I kept thinking was Cuba Gooding Jr. saying to Tom Cruise in Jerry McGuire.."Did you steal the puddy? You stole the puddy didn't you?"
Now, not to sound weird, but I did have my fair share of single moments with some ladies. I was lucky enough to experience what every guy dreams of twice in a two month period, (Ladies, just ask your guy friend what he dreams of) along with having a few ongoing cross country relationships that blossomed nicely into benefitial friendships. But with my crazy schedule, nothing solid or long term would come of it. I guess I was really looking for someone that I could hang out with and have fun along with spending the nights "knocking each other's boots" on a regular basis that understood what I did for a living. Someone who would be there to meet me at the end of the stairwell at the airport and who actually hugged me and kissed me like they might enjoy my company. Call me old fashioned and a bit of a romantic soul, but I'll take that as a compliment. I'm not looking to get married, God knows I'm not ready for that, but I'm tired of being totally single!
I have had the good fortune to make some friends with some of my dates. Friends that might turn into something more, but the story is to short right now to get into anything juicy. I guess that since I can type a few words and place them into paragraphs and that I can pay my bills on time, I'm a rarity! Some of their stories about their dating life has been quite humorous. I've been out with Dani, a single, successful, professional who shares a lot of the same interests with me and isn't afraid to watch a football game or two. She had to share with me about one of her dates who was an older guy in his mid 40's who suddenly shared with her why were people so against a straight guy having sex with another guy to just see what it's like. Seriously, dude! Here's a quarter to buy yourself a clue with. She also shared with me that during her visit to her "waxer" that she witnessed a 500lb man who had just been in to have a brazilian wax done? How the waxer was able to find the right spot, I don't know, but I don't want to think about someone that big having sex or thinking about it. We all deserve to be happy, but man, a brazilian wax?
I've had ladies share with me that guys emailed them pictures of their manhood along with convenietly leaving their wallet at home or asking them to pay for their cell phone or house note. Come on people! What is up with such low lifes! Dani shared another story about how a guy had to stop at the pawn shop to sell a television to pay for dinner. Nice dude, real slick!
I think the funniest part of my dating has been how jealous my ex-wife has become. Let's not say that I've shared my excapades but I have gone out a few times just for fun with one of our co-workers who we will call K Bizzle. K Bizzle works as another assistant for the same business partner and she and my ex work side by side on a daily basis. We all travel to events when we host our seminars so we all hang out on a regular basis. K Bizzle has a bit of a jaded view of the world and her sense of humor cracks me up. We've gone out drinking and out to dinner several times where be both get pretty snockered on wine. We've also done some fun things like go ice skating or go dancing when we were out traveling. I think the world of her and I think of her as my little sister. She's had some man trouble as well with her dates that's made me laugh as well. She was held hostage in one guy's downtown condo for 2 days one weekend. She also experienced three dates in a row where guys made her pay or where their credit card was declined. We've basically become each other's Dr. Phil when it comes to venting about work, my ex, and the crazy dating scene.
Little did I know that while I was home for this four week stretch that K Bizzle was sharing with my ex that she and I were going out and having fun enjoying each other's company while drinking a few bottles of wine and ice skating on top of Whole Foods. I didn't know this until Christmas rolled around and I dropped off gifts at the office for my business partner's and K Bizzle. My ex was still there and I could tell she was pissed or upset. It's not like I didn't talk with her still. Heck, I had even asked her what she wanted for Christmas and she said nothing. It turns out she was extremely jealous that I had gotten K Bizzle a gift at all. It's not like it was lingerie or anything like that, but a simple, nice wine opener (since we drank a lot of wine together). The fuze was lit without me knowing it until K Bizzle's birthday rolled around the first week of January and I dropped off a box with a couple bottle of wines, a couple bottles of belini mix that I found and two caps that K Bizzle liked to wear. All in all, I probabably only spent around $40 on her, but the fur was about to fly.
The day that I dropped off the gift to K Bizzle, my ex wasn't in a good mood. Now I didn't drop off the gift in a overly "in your face" way. I just walked the box in and dropped it down and wished her happy birthday. K Bizzle opened it, was excited, thanked me and gave me a big hug. As I was sitting in the office taking calls on my cell phone, my brother's girlfriend called me to talk about my personal ad (as she reviews all my ads to give them the okay!), so I stepped into another room to talk with her as I don't throw my dating life in my ex's face. We joked about it and I hung up with Linds and I headed headlong into the awaiting storm. My ex went off like a fire cracker! "You are listing properties with Lindsay aren't you! Well you can take your two listings and give them to her. I don't want your listings. I do all this work and don't get anything in return."
Well the truth was Linds is a new realtor who was doing some things for me but not listing any property. I erupted and fired back that I had given her plenty of work to do but she chose not to do it so I got tired of waiting on her to get stuff done so I was going to work with someone else. Little did I know that it had nothing to do with properties. Over the next two days, my ex made some smug comments to K Bizzle that she had never gotten anything for her birthday like what I had given K Bizzle. Now K Bizzle doesn't take shit from anyone. She fired back to "quit being a bitch and relax. You all are divorced...We are just friends. What's going on with you!" I guess what pissed K Bizzle was the fact that my ex would say something in front of one of my business partners. I later found out that they would have a large heated blow up the next day about me. I never wanted to get K Bizzle in the middle, but I guess I did. Sorry K Bizzle.
Let's just say that I had a few loud discussions with my ex (who is and has been seeing somebody since before we were divorced) telling her to butt the hell out of my business and who I go out and have fun, even if it is people that we work with, is none of her cheating business. Oh well, such is drama.
Another few funny moments was when I decided to post another ad stating "Successful Millionaire Looking For Someone." Does the word golddigger come to mind. Lindsay got a big kick from some of the responses that I got from women and the stories that I tell her and Tim. All sorts of responses that I can't really repeat! I guess I'll just try to meet someone on MySpace or Facebook. I will tell you this, I've had more friend requests in the last two weeks than the last six months. Mostly women! We'll see where that goes.
If everything else fails, I'll just post a link to one of my well written sexcapades. 20 pages of hot, verbally orgasmic discriptions might turn a few honey's on? Nah...I'll just save that for a few that I like!
Supposedly, I can't be successful and have any sort of fun with females. I guess I'll just rent out the top part of my house to a couple of scantly clad coeds who like to walk around in their thongs. There can't be anything wrong with that, can there be? Oh wait! That was college! I wish I had saved my black lights and the stripper pole that I used to have. My vaulted ceilings would rock for that. Does that mean I could turn my home into a commercial property? Hmmmmm.....That get's my entrepreneurial mind working. I was trying to find a way to buy the Palazio (Austin's premier Gentlemen's club) which was for sale for a while! Ahhh...The single life!
Let's just say that life is interesting! The buffet line is open but be careful that what you chose to eat doesn't bite you back! While I thought my life was pretty drama free, boy was I wrong. Thank God I get to hit the road for six weeks straight! Let's see what the dating scene in Palm Beach, Colorado Springs, and San Diego looks like!
The Fifth Wheel
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