Gossips, Meddlers and YOU (How to Deal...)

Photo courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net
Photo courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net

Self development helps in stopping your self from gossiping...

Gossips, and Meddlers are EVERYWHERE...

We meet them every day, and sometimes, we can be one of them. They turn hills into mountains and twist your words. They have roving eyes so as to make a story that has no guarantee of existence.

Time and again many are victims of meddlers and gossipers who spend their precious time making trouble and talking about other people’s life. It seems as though this is a part of them that would cause them to lose their life if they refrain from doing such things. Meddlers are among us, they may be loud or silent, and are always annoying. But there are ways to deal with them and stop feeling bad each time you become their prey.

Realize that we can NEVER avoid provocateurs in our life, yet there are ways to avoid conflict with them.

Here are a few ways to handle meddlers and gossipers:

  • Always keep in mind that meddlers want their ideas and opinions to be always considered the right one, although they are wrong. It is then better to agree with them even if you know for a fact that they are wrong. Keep in mind that even if you have to agree with them, you don’t have to do it whole heartedly and you don’t have to follow what they like. Just tell them straight that you agree and that’s it. Meddlers don’t care what you have in mind anyway, they just want to be “right”, so let them think that way even if they are wrong. There is no use arguing with them since meddlers are self righteous and they keep a closed mind. All they know is they are “right” and they want to keep it that way.
  • NEVER discuss your personal life with them. Be very careful about sharing the intimate things about your life, they may make a “dramatic” story out of it and they may even have the “right” opinion. Before you know it, your intimate details may reach the top story of your town.
  • Tell your secrets only to TRUSTED FRIENDS.
  • Keep your self at a distance from these people. Yet stay civil. Never share bonding moments with them and be sensitive enough as to who to trust.
  • If these people start to converse with you and ask details about your life, try saying this to them: “You know, I am not really interested discussing my private life so let’s just talk about yours instead.”
  • Be direct to people who makes gossip about you or other people and tell them straight to the point that they can make a BIG trouble out of their playful tongue. In doing so, remember to be assertive and not aggressive.
  • If you mingle with people who start and end their day gossiping, change the topic each time they start making hills into mountains. This way, you avoid being a part of their contagious hobby.
  • Prevent being a gossiper and meddler by paying special attention about what you do or say to others especially around people who tend to gossip and meddle. Petty details may be BIG deal for others. Don’t be a source of a new topic or material for gossipers to talk about.
  • Above all, after doing all these, let go. Stop minding the gossips, the gossipers and meddling they do. Don’t let them affect you. You won’t get tired ignoring them and they will become bored of you. Stop worrying about what they have to say as long as you know you are on the right track and you don’t sabotage the life of others.

Why gossipers gossip, and how to stop being a gossiper yourself…

Photo courtesy of Yaron Jeroen van Oostro/ Freedigitalphotos.net
Photo courtesy of Yaron Jeroen van Oostro/ Freedigitalphotos.net

There are many reasons why people gossip. They do it just to kill time, to make others think that they are smart, to be “in” in a certain circle of friends or it may root from plain jealousy or insecurity. Whatever may be the reason is, it is a fact that gossiping is a part of our life.

On the brighter side, there are ways to deal with gossipers, stop your self from being a gossiper and avoid gossips. Here are few of the ways to do so:

  • Before you commit your self to gossiping, keep in mind the negative effects of such an act. Think twice before uttering a word and remember to put your self at the position of your prey.
  • Keep in mind that secrets do leak no matter how much you keep them from others. We may think that the gossips we share are unknown to the victims yet it does otherwise. This may result to broken relationships and lost trust and respect. At the same time, your own prestige may be tarnished and your own act makes you a lesser person.
  • Avoid participating in any gossipy conversation. Walk away if you can, and find other things to do. If walking away does not suit the situation, just keep your mouth shut if you have nothing nice and sensible to say.
  • Don’t listen to the gossips. Do not respond to negative comments about others, and if you can, raise a positive topic about the person they victimize. If you hardly know the person, keep your mouth shut. NEVER BELIEVE A GOSSIP UNLESS YOU GET A FIRST HAND AND REASONABLE PROOF.
  • Focus on developing your own self whenever you try to kill time. Spend idle time reading self help books or anything that can help you develop as a person. Learn new skills that may help you have a better life. Do your hobby, or you can even pluck your own brows (lol!). These activities will help you avoid gossiping, and avoid your own insecurities as well, since you improve your self.
  • Raise new and interesting topics that may entertain gossipers whenever they start gossiping. Topics like what’s on sale or what’s the new fashion trend may suit their taste.

Gossipers and meddlers are part of our world; it does not only happen in our own part of the globe. Yet we can make a difference by not being one of these people and by knowing how to deal with them. Besides, we keep talking about hypocrisy and who talks or not behind our back, but should we really care? If your life is perfect for you, and you know that you are truly loved & cared for, who cares about who talks about who? After all, no matter what others may say, it will never change you without your consent.

And lastly, one thing to keep in mind: Before talking, you should be wary of what comes out from your mouth, for even if you WHISPER to keep it from others, your words SHOUT to the world what you are made of.

Copyright by DJBRYLE WORKS, 2010. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED AND AUTHORIZED BY LAW

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Comments 28 comments

Betchay.... 6 years ago

I do love this topic sis...In our everyday life we do mingle with people who loves to talk...but it's true...sometimes we simply need to stop, listen for awhile...and if we think that it's gossiping time it's better to suddenly go and leave them behind...


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 6 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Thanks so much Betchai, for the kind words and for always spending some time with my hubs! Luv u sis! =)


billyaustindillon profile image

billyaustindillon 6 years ago

Gossip can cause so much damage - I try to not can involved but some times you get so irritated when you know something isn't right. Being the victim of gossip and be hard to take but you have to just accept the damage id done for now and hopefully it readdresses alter.


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 6 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

That's true Billy... on the lighter side, I think everyone has been a victim of gossip. lol! Thanks for dropping by! All the best! =)


Dame Scribe profile image

Dame Scribe 6 years ago from Canada

I agree with your thoughts on this topic. I get called a snob, etc for not mingling with such people but I have my own life to take care of. Great tips. :)


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 6 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Thanks Dame Scribe, such comment is so valuable especially that it comes from you! =) I guess it is better to be called a snob than to be a blab... lol! All the best! =)


Money Glitch profile image

Money Glitch 6 years ago from Texas

Great tips, one thing I learned from listening to a friend that gossip was - That sure she supplied me with all the gossip about others, however she was sharing my info with the others as well. :(


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 6 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

lol! That's true MG, these people could never be trusted even if they appear to be so nice. See you around and thanks for dropping by! =)


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines

Gossip is wagging tongue abomination. In younger days, as a member of our district teachers' choir, I remember this song which runs "Gossip, gossip evil thing. Much unhappiness it brings. If you can't say something nice. Don't talk at all is my advice". Nice choir piece in 4 voices. We even won a major prize in a division-wide choir competition.

Yes, gossip isn't a good pastime. I deplore anyone who indulges in those loose talks that hurt others. Good work!


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 6 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

That's a very beautiful piece, ma'am Lita! Thanks for sharing... I wish I had the chance to listen to your choir. Thanks a lot for dropping by... =)


Cheeky Girl profile image

Cheeky Girl 6 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

Some excellent advice here for us all I think! Great Hub! I am rating this us and voting up via facebook! :D


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 6 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

@Cheeky Girl: Thanks so much for the compliment, for voting and sharing... but most of all for spending time to read my hub! I enjoy your works as well! See you around! =)


hubpageswriter 6 years ago

I hate gossips they are just destroying. Good hub here.:)


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 6 years ago from Canada

Wonderful and sound advice!!! I keep myself in check when around these people by remembering one rule: if they can gossip about another person, then it is guaranteed that they gossip about you. Rating you up for a great hub!! :)


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 6 years ago from Houston, Texas

This is such good advice! Now...the next time I am approached by someone who constantly gossips, I think I'll go pluck my eyebrows. Haha! Seriously, I try and do the things you have suggested in this really good hub. Rating this useful!


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 6 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

@hubpageswriter: Thanks again for dropping by my friend! Hey, I hate gossips too... but never mind them they're just like virus only that you can choose to be infected or not! lol! See you around! =)

@Beth100: lol! That's so true, these people can't be trusted at all. Thank you so much for dropping by again... for always rating up my hubs and for unknowingly inspiring me to write even more! By the way, I loved your recipe... I am going to your page for a follow up... and of course to read more of your delightful and "addictive" hubs! ;)

@Peggy W: It's so good to hear from you again... you never run out of kind comments to share with me. Thanks so much for spending time with my hubs my friend, and for rating it useful! =)


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

I thought gossips are not belongs to women, but actually men is part of gossips. I agree with you that we can't deny this in our life, if we met friends and talk each other although just for little talk we may still talking other person. Or I can say that this is part of lifestyle. Very provoking hub. Good work, my friend. I love this hub. Rate up.

Blessing,


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 6 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

@Prasetio:Men and women of any kind can engage into gossip.Thank you again so much my friend for the thoughtful and kind comments you made for this hub and for rating it up too! You inspire me to write even more! Wishing you all the best! =)


jasnim 6 years ago

love it!!!! just in time.... looking 4ward on ur nxt blog


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 6 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

@Jasnim: Thanks for loving it and I thank fate for having had the chance to publish this hub just in time for you! lol! ;) Thanks for dropping by and for following my blogs! God bless! =)


travel_man1971 profile image

travel_man1971 6 years ago from Bicol, Philippines

Loved this hub and rated it up, kabayan. Gossips are half-truths, sensationalized and blown into large proportions. One survey's summation was that men are more engage in gossiping than women (hehehe!). I believe, it depends upon your circle of friends and the level of education they've finished in the academe. Elementary people talk about more about trivialities in the community, high school grads concentrate more on events and college elites focus on businesses and new discoveries. I don't want to stereotype people, but these are some of my observations.


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 6 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

@Travel_man: I agree with you kabayan, we share the same observation. Smarter people talks about more sensible things. lol! Thanks for dropping by! =)


lyjo profile image

lyjo 6 years ago

Hi Dj,

What a wonderful topic, I, like so many of you cannot stand gossip, and have been called many things because of my distance from these people, but I must remain true to myself & others....There is an old saying, if you do not want people to say anything, don't tell them anything. Unfortunately, these people usually have trouble in their own lives, that they need to forget...so its much easier for them to talk about others.

I love your suggestion; "You know, I'm really not interested in discussing my private life, lets talk about yours instead". This is priceless! Well done!


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 6 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

Hey, Iyjo, thanks so much for appreciating my hub. It means a lot to me. I agree with you, it is better to be called a snob or anything else than to engage in useless talks. lol! See you around. Thanks for dropping by. =)


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Very good advice. We need to take your advice seriously. We give "them" too much ammo/info at times.


Maria Cecilia profile image

Maria Cecilia 5 years ago from Philippines

Jen this hub make me smile, and thank to this I realized I was never a gossiper or the other one hahahaha.. but you know what these are all very true and this :"Be direct to people who makes gossip about you or other people and tell them straight to the point that they can make a BIG trouble out of their playful tongue. In doing so, remember to be assertive and not aggressive" I think I did this hahaha I on a right track... just confronted someone because of what she was spreading... Jen office thing... these are all very true I can relate


denden mangubat profile image

denden mangubat 3 years ago from liloan, cebu, philippines

haha plucking the eye brows than gossiping.


DjBryle profile image

DjBryle 2 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =) Author

lol! Thanks for dropping by Denden Mangubat :) Better than gossiping isn't it? It makes you look trimmed up, without ruining other people's lives. :) See you around!

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