"Hal, The Hot Dog," and Other Ways to Combat Loneliness

Is this poor guy like YOU . . .

lonely? Well, friend, do not worry. Help has arrived. I just happen to have several ways you can wage your  own war against loneliness.
lonely? Well, friend, do not worry. Help has arrived. I just happen to have several ways you can wage your own war against loneliness.

More "Faces Of Loneliness"

Loneliness defined. A poor girl looking  down a walkway that no one will be walking to see her.
Loneliness defined. A poor girl looking down a walkway that no one will be walking to see her.
No reason to get up from bed. A sure-sign of painful loneliness.
No reason to get up from bed. A sure-sign of painful loneliness.
Talk about pain. This is true pain. Living in the world without a soul to talk to.
Talk about pain. This is true pain. Living in the world without a soul to talk to.
I wish I could put into words just how lonely this senior citizen looks.
I wish I could put into words just how lonely this senior citizen looks.
No one to sit and enjoy the view.
No one to sit and enjoy the view.
Lonely angel. Somehow this statue makes me feel sad.
Lonely angel. Somehow this statue makes me feel sad.
Beautiful sunset. Lonely woman (to bottom right.)
Beautiful sunset. Lonely woman (to bottom right.)
Some people are experts at hiding their lonely lives.
Some people are experts at hiding their lonely lives.
See "that" look on her face? This is the look of "Yeah, another Saturday night alone."
See "that" look on her face? This is the look of "Yeah, another Saturday night alone."
Gazing at the water all alone.
Gazing at the water all alone.

This piece can be interpreted as sad. And happy. A paradox of sorts. Two completely-opposite entities existing in the same place.

Enough of this over-the-head talk. This story is about a "silent killer," devouring masses with no bloodshed. Attacking the innocent for no reason. Never apprehended. Nor extinguished. Still on-the-loose and so fluid that this "beast" could be staring at your in daylight and you wouldn't know it. It's that awful.

Loneliness is the "silent killer." The "beast" whom devours the very marrow of our souls without one word of notice. Easy as sliding down on fine Chinese silk, loneliness takes its swee time and moves into residence in our minds, hearts and eventually, our soul.

Not many cures on the open market for this "disease."

Not many brave-hearted warriors to tame this "beast."

Not too many valiant police officers to arrest this "silent killer."

Sad is not the word for this living, breathing, organism that goes to bed with us and awakes with us - -spending every waking moment in our days, moments where we could be happy, and the worst time of all, dark evenings when there is no stars or moon for comfort.

I do not know of anyone on or off HubPages who has not at one time or another, felt or dealt with loneliness. "She's a mistress with sharp teeth," one unknown poet defined this common black-cloaked being who takes charge of our lives without asking our permission.

Enough sad talk. Just writing thoughts of loneliness makes me both lonely and depressed. But depression, the first-cousin of loneliness, can wait for a story of another day. Now I am focusing on loneliness. That's all.

Here are a few facts about loneliness:

1. Loneliness knows no racial boundary. People of all ethnic backgrounds live in or fight loneliness each passing day.

2. Loneliness can attack anyone of any walk of life, anywhere, anytime. Ministers, bikers, bullies and babes. Loneliness doesn't care.

3. Loneliness feeds on the fact that it can bring us down from a happy level of existence to the lowest-level of painful depression in the blink of a therapist's eye.

4. Loneliness has but few cracks in its armour, but it can be fought. With the right methods and procedures.

Even our society has made "loneliness" part of our entertainment with songs such as:

"Only The Lonely," by Roy Orbison; "Are You Lonesome Tonight," by Elvis Presley; "(This Is For) All The Lonely People," by America, "Lonely Days," by the Bee Gees and "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry," by Hank Williams, Sr.

Here are some reasons, I think, are why people are lonely:

1. Job. The constant turn-down's at offices and factories lead to loneliness.

2. Loss of Job. Down-sizing or just fired for no obvious reason.

3. Co-workers (at job) - -static among staff members can create loneliness.

4. Marriage problems - -spouse leaves with your next-door neighbor.

5. Being Single. Hard to find a good guy or girl.

Enough clinical talk.

I want to talk about "my ways" of dealing with loneliness. And even people on HubPages, Facebook or any social network are soft, easy candidates for loneliness - - -especially those who are like me, a stay-at-home husband who is disabled, cannot work or drive, and only has a phone and a PC for company. Sad, but oh so true.

My ways of combating loneliness may not be found in any psychiatric journal. Or inside the latest Cosmo magazine. But they work. That's all I know. They work.

1.) Call the telephone operator and ask for the number of a friend. Just the sound of another human being's voice helps for a moment, but do not do this too many times. You don't want AT&T hunting you down for "abusive practices of communications devices."

2.) Start a long, drawn-out novel about anything or anyone you please. Map-out how many months it will take for you to finish your project. A busy mind is not as penetrable as an idle mind. Remember that.

3.) Take up a hobby that only you can enjoy. I didn't suggest square dancing, hiking with a group or biking over the hills to a new country. Stamp and coin collecting may sound funny, but they can generate interest in something besides "you" sitting around dwelling on how lonely you are.

4.) Singing lessons are great to combat loneliness. No one said you had to be a Kelly Pickler, Faith Hill or Usher, just take the lessons for "you" and your own pleasure.

5.) Buy yourself a pet. I acquired a male cat named, "Festus," and I am not really been a "pet person" since I was twelve. You will be amazed how much "Festus" has helped me just by doing what kittens do - - run around, sleep and crawl up on my lap for a quick, (pardon the pun), "cat nap."

6.) Write a theater play. Even though you have no background as a writer. Go online and search for websites on "how to write plays." The Internet has any and all things for all people. Why not would-be playwrights?

7.) Find things to laugh at. And by that I don't mean your "cousin Dilbert," with the protruding wart on his forehead. Seek out comedies on television or on DVD. FACT: Loneliness and laughter are sworn-enemies.

8.) Walk outside, if you are able. A change of scenery is always a lift for your spirits. Take time to notice something you might have missed before. A flower growing in an unusual place, a neighbor who has just bought a new car. The list is endless. And beats staying in the house all day.

These are just eight easy ways that you can combat loneliness if you are a sensible, level-headed person.

But in case that you are not a sensible, level-head person, here are, to be honest, eight outlandish, far-fetched, hair-brained and whimsical ways that you also can use to beat loneliness.

1.) Join the circus a change of jobs may be what you need to be happy again. But be sure to tell your wife where you will be.

2.) Volunteer to be a well-known mascot for a famous fast-food place. Maybe you could be, "Hal, the Hot Dog," and see the friendly people laughing at you from inside your red frank and covered with "fake" mustard (yellow house paint) and a fresh bun for a suit. This way, no one will ever know who you are. But stay clear from dough-nut shop mascots such as, "Donnie, Do-Nut," for you will have no way to disguise your face.

3.) Talk to a lawless biker gang and get to know how they survive. Ask safe questions like, "ever take your girlfriend to see an Adam Sandler movie?" Or, "care if I ride your "hog"? Some bikers will welcome your company, but avoid following their unorthodox rituals as giving them your wallet before you talk to them or you may "ride your thumb" home.

4.) Go to a community fund-raising event and be the guy who people hit in the face with pies. What a fun way to relieve your lonely disposition. And look at all the free pie you can catch with your tongue.

5.) Run a marathon with people you've never heard of. Sure you will fall flat on your face, but at least for fifteen minutes, you will get "some" exercise.

6.) Call up a talk-radio show and start a heated-argument on purpose. A good, hot person-to-person banter will do you good. Plus you might be discovered while you are on the air coast-to-coast as the next Howard Stern who is never lonely.

7.) (BE EXTRA CAREFUL WITH THIS ONE) dress-up like a Viet Cong soldier from the Vietnam War days then storm the gates at Paris Island, South Carolina screaming, "I love Communism! The only way is the Red way," before long, many new "friends," called United States Marines, will be so glad to give you "free" American lessons. But you will not be thinking of how lonely you are while you try to get out with your hide.

8.) Board a city bus and before you sit down, break into a comedy routine by Steve Martin. People always love Martin. And if a few irritated passengers tell you to, "get off the bus. Now," just ignore them and go ahead with your jokes and impressions. But don't panic as the bus driver pulls over to the curb and physically-removes you from the bus while the passengers gives him more applause than Jay Leno gets on Friday nights with the Tonight Show.

I feel so much better now that this story is finished.

Funny how things like these stories work. I read this story to "Festus," my pet cat and that rascal took it on himself to bite me then run under my couch.

Cats have a weird way of saying, "great story, Ken!"

This attractive girl is lonely. What a shame

for someone who looks as hot as she does, to even think of being lonely.
for someone who looks as hot as she does, to even think of being lonely.

More by this Author


Comments 14 comments

writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

Here's a couple of other hobbies making jewellery and ceramics.

Vote up and interesting.


meow48 profile image

meow48 4 years ago from usa

you truly amaze me, my friend. you definitely have the gift. thankyou


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Writer20,

Yes. Making jewelry and ceramics. For me personally, and I AM a lonesome person most of the time, I want to start designing birdhouses and selling them for a nominal cost. Not to make a fortune, but have some self-worth. I guess I left out the most-feasible way to combat loneliness, Writing numerous hubs. That seems to help. Some.

Thanks for your ideas.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, meow48,

"Thank YOU from my heart and soul, for your warm, honest remark. I grant you that you do also. Have "the" gift. I can sense these things.

Have a safe day!

Kenneth


KT Banks profile image

KT Banks 4 years ago from Texas

I just love reading your hubs. Every one of them should be a hub nugget.

Today, I've been looking for some great ones to share with my Mother, who is getting older and seems to need more people to talk to. I'm going to print this one and take it to her.

Let me know when you're going to do the bus routine, I want to be on that bus! (( Kisses ))


PurvisBobbi44 profile image

PurvisBobbi44 4 years ago from Florida

Kenneth,

I sincerely hope you are not lonesome, but designing Birdhouses sound great. But we would miss your great mind of words, as you twist and turn them into something funny.

You could sell them on Etsy or Craig’s List (Do not put your address on Craig’s List---do everything P.O. Box.)

Design a three story Blue Bird House with a chimney, which would be great.

Are people really lonely or do they like being alone? I think people are sadder about things in life which they cannot do anything about---at least I am hoping that instead of loneliness.

I cannot remember being lonely---bored maybe. You need a Pomeranian like my Sweetie Angel. He is so spoiled I feed him by hand---and he comes in my computer room and grunts at me to go play ball or give him a milk bone. He demands constant attention. He is so precious---and a dog is very lovable. He is asleep by my foot at the moment, on the pillow bed I made him.

Take care.

Your Hub Friend,

Bobbi


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

I loved the hub Kenneth! And of course you know which one I thought was the best...getting a pet! Give Festus a kiss for me.

Another way to beat loneliness is to make great friends on Hubpages!


Angela Blair profile image

Angela Blair 4 years ago from Central Texas

Kenneth -- great Hub! Being somewhat of a loner -- by choice -- if I do get lonely it's usually in a crowd of people with whom I have nothing in common (which bodes the question "why am I there?") Definitely voted up! Best/Sis


Debra Emerson 4 years ago

You give very good advice.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear KT,

I sure will. And I sincerely thank you for doing this for your mom. Honored is how I feel about your warm gesture as well as knowing you, KT. Honored.

Totally serious too.

(((Kisses backatya)))

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Bobbi,

Thank you for your valuable insight. You are right. There is a big difference in being alone and being lonely. I guess I am the latter sometimes--being at home alone, but nowadays, I have Festus, my gold tomcat who is rather a wise guy when it comes to critiquing my works. I love him dearly.

The birdhouse thing is a future project when and if the day comes that I reach 1,000 hubs. Then I shall break for a small season and see how many birds I can give a home. God does love His creatures.

Thanks again, Bobbi.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear catgypsy,

Enjoyed our talk today. A lot. And your hub, "Gullible or Insane," read my comments. LOVED IT. And thanks for the pet advice months ago about cats. I shall not forget you or your advice. Or cats.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Angela . . .thank you kindly, for your sweet comments. I do not know how I would do without my loving followers. I will not even let that thought materialize. YOU AND ALL OF MY FOLLOWERS ARE TOPS. THE BEST.

Thanks, Angela for the comments and votes.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Debra,

Thank you for your sweet comment. I appreciate that so much. Why dont YOU join Hubs and write your own adventure stories? We would love them. Honest.

Kenneth

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