Happy Birthday Dad A Memory
There are so many questions I have for you I wish I could speak to you and you be able to answer me. What's it like there daddy, what's heaven like? What's it been like to see Jesus? Jesus said He would wipe away all tears from our eyes, at this moment I could use that touch. Daddy I remember your hands, I remember your strength, I remember you holding me as a child and saying it's ok. Daddy you calmed my trembling fears then, not by words but just by feeling your hardened hands turn to a gentle touch. Just feeling the strength of your arms around me was comfort, it calmed any turmoil I had. And no words had to be spoken. Is that what it's like with Jesus, daddy? Oh, dad, there is so much, so much I want to tell you, most of all how much I love you daddy, I miss you so much, I need to feel those arms around me again, Have you seen our other loved ones there? Have you been able to speak to them and tell them we still miss them too?
Daddy growing up there were so many times you said, "That's my boy", whether what I did was good or bad- right or wrong you still said "that's my boy" The time I remember it the most was the first time you came to hear me preach, Dad that wasn't my best message I had ever given, but, you were glowing, and in that big smile said,"that's my boy", What you cared about was your son preaching the gospel of Christ.
Dad there were times you were so hard on me, I thought it was so unfair. I didn't know why I deserved to be scorned by you so hard. I didn't understand why, why you were so seemingly cold to me. But, daddy, I do know now, you simply loved your boy. Daddy I am the man that I am because of you, and as I live on if I can ever just come close to being the man you were well then, I guess, that ain't too bad. You were one of the most caring, loving, giving, of all men I have ever known.
Every time I saw you hold one of my children I felt it too, I felt those arms and hands around me again.
daddy I remember crying one night as I was in bed. I missed you so much. The hours you worked were so very long, I was too little to understand, I thought you just liked working so you would not have to be home, I thought you didn't want to have to be home around us. I laid there and cried myself to sleep, I tried to stay awake , I tried to hear you when you got home but the crying exhausted me and I fell asleep. Daddy I thought you didn't want me, or didn't love or care for me, I did not know , I was too little , that you worked like that to provide for us, to take care of us.
That night I saw the greatest gift ever of a daddy's love, you came in and woke me up, you pulled me to your chest into those strong arms and massive hands and rubbed my hair and said," son I love you, and I have missed you too." It was only a minute or so and then you said," can you sleep now?' and you tucked me in. I never felt so secure in all my life.
I pray to God of all the possible memories I may have and thoughts I will in time forget, that I will always remember your arms and hands. Arms like oaks and hands of stone, yet gentle, caring, and loving. Oh and daddy, I have that security now, I am ok, Tammy's strength and love reminds me of you, I feel that strength and security from her, I guess that's why I love her hands so much. I can just look at her hands and hold them and find strength.
And, daddy , I am right with God, I am doing His work again, and soon I'll be doing it full-time. I wish one more time I could call or stop by just to say, " I love you dad," There is a coming a day I will, I know when the time is right God will bring us together again, I love you daddy, and dad, look for me, for I will be there too!