ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Having the Sexual History Talk With Your Mate

Updated on May 8, 2015

How many sexual partners have you had?

That question is sticky. It can be a deal killer between a couple in a meaningful relationship. A LTR. Whether male or female, it is a touchy subject for obvious reasons. Both sexes hedge at truthfully answering it in fear that THE number of sexual partners may scare off a mate they truly are in love with. Some partners just avoid the topic and simply do not care. What happened before they met makes no difference, to others, it does matter. Maybe it is an indication how sexually loose the mate is, how trustworthy they might be when temptation knocks on their door. Maybe in this case, the best policy to this question is not to be 100% truthful with that number.

For new couples, on the cusp of love, this question will come up. Most seek to avoid it unless pinned down, even then, they may reduce the actual number. The issue becomes more acure for some when the dating occurs between empty-nesters, those 60 yrs. old and below. The sexual frequency in a person during their twenties is far more than in later life. But does it even matter?

In a recent poll of nearly 6000 persons, 50% of them did not want to know how many partners the mate had. Many when asked, simply refused to answer causing a chilling impact on the relationship. Only 3% of men and women refuse to disclose the number of sexual partners they have had after the first date. After things warm up, 30% of them will disclose the number of partners they have had, however, 21% refuse to give this information. The study's most revealing statistic is what many have known, that men think about sex in some form several times in a day- over 40% of the men polled did between ages 20-30 yrs. The poll showed that with older adults returning to the dating scene, men had twice the number of sexual partners than women did.

When the question does arise before sex occurs, most of those surveyed tell the truth. The poll showed than both men and women only lied about it (by lowering the actual number) 16% of the time. Another key statistic is that 57% of them did not want to know the answer. Is the number of sexual partners one has had over 20-30 years even matter? Would you think differently of the person you are in love with?

What is the average number of sexual partners? The most recent survey of over 13,000 between 15-44 yrs. old, was six for men and three for women. In another study strictly on singles, it was 14 for men and 8 for women. For many, it is just a number with little meaning because it was in the past and people change over the years. What they were like in their 20's has little to do with them now in the 40's or 50's. Many still refrain from discussing it much until the relationship is serious. Sometimes, it is better to approach the topic gradually over time if the other is uncomfortable about it. Would a response of 100 partners bother you as much if the person was 40, instead of 25 yrs. old?

It's just a number, right? Hmmm....

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)