He said he loved me...

Copyright 2011

Erin Le Fey


On a windy night

Torrential rains plummeted and

Lightening cracked the sky

Streaking violently

Granite clouds on

A field of cobalt

Followed instantly

By rolling thunder

Hurling itself across the horizon

Source


Under a willow tree

Soaking wet

Looking out from between

Hanging vines of summer leaves

To the pouring rain

We stood so close together

In awe of the command of this tempest

Seduced by her dominance


Stout drops of tepid water

In showers, furious yet fleeting

Formed small mud ponds

In the black earth

Our feet sank into soggy soil

As we moved closer to the trunk of the tree


Towering above us

The rains suddenly stopped

Flashes of lightening were visible in distant clouds

Thunder still rolling over our heads

We weaved our way out through the vines


It was dark of the moon

We looked up into a field of a million stars.

An eerie silence fell around us

But for the deep hooting of a wise owl

The guttural sound of frogs and

Accompanying crickets

Source


He was holding my hand

Magic fire between us

The look in his eyes

I’ll never forget

He said he loved me…

Source
Source


I believed him for a while

Real love doesn't fade

His promises of truth and love

and forever he'd stay


I had walls around my heart

from the ancient days

He said there was no need

My dragons he'd slay


we chased every adventure

flying and traveling along

two people in love

We would always be strong


He told me to let go

The knight at my back

He would always be there

to handle any attack


He gave me the water I needed to grow

I jumped in thinking he jumped too

It was just in the moment

But how was I to know?


He began to see through me, past me, beyond me

Into his own world where I didn’t have a place

I tried to make him part of my world, thinking we

Could blend the two, my grievous mistake


I ventured then to make OUR place, our home

Create a place uniquely ours

But one person can’t make a couple’s world

When it isn’t written in the stars


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We’re a partnership, here by choice, no ties…

There is no reason to stay

We came together freely, of our own will

I’d rather you tell the truth, and walk away

Source


Why do you look for faults in all I do

Why do you cut me down at any cost?

I haven’t changed, I’m just confused

Into this ring, I have been tossed


An unseen force, I battle now

Your own conscience, my only foe

You tell me that suddenly I have done things wrong

Even you do not know.


I’m headed out, into the storm

I can’t face it here again

I’ve been in this place many times before

Losing my best friend


I’ve told you to come clean with me,

Honesty is the only way through

You chose silence over letting me in

I won’t play this game with you


If you loved me, you’d reach for me

And want to work it out

But now I’m sure I’m better off gone

Than in this cave of doubts


I’ve lived insecurely too many times

Loved despite the crimes

Forgave all sins and every vice

Sacrificed too many times


Fought too hard without avail

To have some monster turn

And crush my spirit on the ground

Light the match and watch me burn


I can’t go through that again

I’ve learned my lesson, been set free

I respect myself, know what love is

And know people depend on me

Source


You can’t take what I don’t give you

You can’t control my world too

Have your little crisis now

And I’ll be seeing you

In my rearview mirror

As I drive away

I’ve found my pride and confidence

And I’m here to stay.

Relationship Advice

Note to my friends/followers

*I had this one sitting in my journal for a while so I thought I would publish it. I have nothing new to publish as I'm going to school right now. I may have time to write in-between all my assignments, it would be tough. I may just go through some older things. I will be visiting you all as I have time. Hope you are doing well my friends! I'm thinking of you! :)

Erin

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Comments 29 comments

Darknlovely3436 profile image

Darknlovely3436 5 years ago from NewYork

Profound my hubber friend love the images it blends with your work

love annie


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Dear Erin,

This was magnificent full of passion,love, and loss and one we all can relate too. Thank you for sharing such a special hub.

Sunnie


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 5 years ago from Maryland Author

Hi Annie, thanks for reading, my new friend, and welcome to my hub. Take Care!


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 5 years ago from Maryland Author

Hi Sunnie! Thanks so much! That's exactly what that relationship was in a nutshell...passion, love and loss - and all of it to the enth degree. I was definitely working out some karma issues. I have to visit your site. Take care, my friend.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Hello Erin, in the oddest way possible your next challenge is also a Bachelor, a Bachelor’s Degree that is.

Your expression of love and lost love was profound.


Iintertrans profile image

Iintertrans 5 years ago from New Delhi

Erin ,

You had really taken me to a roller-coaster ride full of emotional expectations and upsets and disappointments of a partner especially in here a woman , who undergoes through her worst and best part of her life's hope and despair.

I am thrilled reading this. Moreover you have a nice knack of writing this complex poems in simple words If I quote one or two

the final climax was superb "Have your little crisis now

And I’ll be seeing you

In my rearview mirror

As I drive away

I’ve found my pride and confidence

And I’m here to stay." and in between lines like """"'But now I’m sure I’m better off gone

Than in this cave of doubts""

Hence I am glad in voting this up and awesome.

do write and enthrall us more.

I should also admit even the pictures compliment the writings. well done job.


HattieMattieMae profile image

HattieMattieMae 5 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

Very beautiful and wonderful passion flowing! :)


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 5 years ago from Maryland Author

Mckbirdbks, I'll take that Bachelor's challenge anyday - at least they tell me EXACTLY what I'm up against!!

You're brilliant. hugs, Erin


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 5 years ago from Maryland Author

lintertrans,

Thank you so much. I try to put my poems in everyday language so they speak loud and clear - usually they have so much more imagery in them, they don't need as many detailed photos...but I liked using these as a kind of picture book. Somehow it made it more of a story to me - the details of this one are in my book - which I'm also writing while going back to school. You really honor me with all the compliments, I thank you so much for reading and thinking about it in such detail. I love words and phrases - I love to meet others who share that love with me. Namaste, Erin


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 5 years ago from Maryland Author

HattieMattieMae, Thank you so much for visiting my hub and I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Passion, in all phases of this relationship, good and bad. Have a beautiful day.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa

I see love as a kind of human - getting born - the most beautiful baby to cuddle and love... Because love is so fragile, it often becomes sick before the age of one-two, suffering horrible pain until it eventually dies. Too often we don't want to accept the fact that it is dead... we don't bury it... keep holding on to the corpse.... enduring the smell until we have to flee.

Erin, is there anyone who doesn’t know that awful feeling of disappointment when hope turns into ashes. It is so painful! And yet, we always manage to proceed to the next phase of our lives, more mature, stronger, wiser....

I love the last verse of you poem –

“You can’t take what I don’t give you

You can’t control my world too

Have your little crisis now

And I’ll be seeing you

In my rearview mirror

As I drive away

I’ve found my pride and confidence

And I’m here to stay.”


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 5 years ago from Maryland Author

Martie, that is such a powerful analogy because it is so very true of most people. I find that I'm different. I was hurt so deeply so many times early in life, that at the first signs, red flags, and pain - I endure it as long as I can but then I turn and run as far and as fast as I can without looking back. I don't know if that's true for many people, some call it strength or independence - sometimes I see it as a roadblock to really falling in love. But then again, my counselor says, none of those men were men I would have wanted to keep trying with anyway. I'm a bad "picker". :)))

I know most people have felt this way, but recently I returned to my childhood home, where most of my friends were married out of high school and college...and they are still so happy in their marriages with children. I wouldn't have changed my life if I could, but it makes you wonder.

Namaste, my friend :)


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

This is beautiful Erin. I can relate, that's why i'm single and contented without marriage. I will never understand why some people feel that you have to be married to be fulfilled..Who knows, someday you may find that special someone who will bring you contentment and happiness. If you want it, it will happen..You have so much to give.. Thank you for sharing...Cheers


jeremiahjpwalton profile image

jeremiahjpwalton 5 years ago from New England

Have your little crisis now

And I’ll be seeing you

In my rearview mirror

As I drive away

was my favorite part. good job!


CMCastro profile image

CMCastro 5 years ago from Baltimore,MD USA

Hey Erin, I know that you are not the only one not publishing for a while. I wish you the best with your academic endeavors. This one you have shared is great. Your writing style has always been inspiring. Take care.


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 5 years ago from Maryland Author

Ruby, I know you can relate, girlfriend. I know exactly how you feel. I've always said, I'd rather be alone than be in a miserable relationship. I'm happy on my own, I'm content - I only want to be part of a couple if we can enhance each other's lives. Otherwise, what's the point. A relationship just for the sake of companionship isn't worth the price. Thanks for the hope, its there for all of us who want it. Our true heart's desire is within our reach. Hugs my friend.


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 5 years ago from Maryland Author

jeremiah, I'm so glad you found a message that speaks to you - thanks so much for your visit and comment. Namaste.


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 5 years ago from Maryland Author

Hi Christina! Thanks so much, I love going back to school - I do it every few years, I should have my Bachelor's done in the beginning of 2013 if I keep up with this part-time pace. I won't be absent from hub pages that long of course, just when I'm starting new classes until I get the swing of things. Thanks so much for the comment, it means a lot from someone so inspiring as well :)


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 5 years ago from Maryland Author

donate-timeshares, thank you so much! That's my goal, I'm so happy to have touched your heart.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Thank you for this beautiful heartfelt poetry, Erin. Good luck at school. If there is any teacher you would like me to bribe (though I know you won't need to), just forward the name. :)


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 5 years ago from Maryland Author

drbj, thanks so much, please bribe them all, all this writing is killing me!!! :) All my hub writing is going to be in APA style from now on...


Aceblogs profile image

Aceblogs 5 years ago from India

Wow , what a peom . It talks about reality of Life. Love and loss , which we all must have gone through once in our lives. I can very corelate the ups and downs we have in love life. What a peom you have written , i completely loved it and read it in one go


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 5 years ago from Maryland Author

Hi Aceblogs, nice to meet you. yes, too much reality sometimes. Thanks so much for the kind words, brightest blessings to you.


Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

Good imagery painted here. Crisp.


Escobana profile image

Escobana 5 years ago from Valencia

Hey Erin!

Loved reading your work. It made me think of an article I once wrote in Dutch. It was called:

My hearts been broken hundreds of times, but Love will always exist.

Wish for you to find great and forever Love! Voted up, beautiful and awesome:-)


Genna East profile image

Genna East 5 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

“You cannot take what I don’t give you…” Ohhhh that is soo true, dear friend. And when we drive away, the road ahead is open and free; and so are we. Such are pride and confidence. The image in the rear view mirror becomes faded with time and with distance. Perfectly written, Erin! :-)


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 5 years ago from Maryland Author

Hi Doug, thanks for the visit. I love your words. "Crisp." :) Oh to earn such a word is simply divine... hugs, Erin

Escobana! your energy just leaps off the page! I have to come visit you more. Thanks for your wish, my friend. And for the votes. See you soon.

Genna, yes, that's me establishing my control over the relationship with the narcissist who thinks he's holding all the cards...

It's hard to get pride and confidence back after a relationship with one of those. But we do it :) I was so happy to find that picture, it was so perfect.

Nice seeing you again, my friend!


nighthag profile image

nighthag 4 years ago from Australia

A beautiful landscape of emotion you have etched out using honest real emotion, love, fear, heart break, and most important strength of will.

An amazing write


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 4 years ago from Maryland Author

thank you nighthag, this was one lesson that haunts me still. my encounter with the narcissist... it cut far deeper than I realized, to my self esteem.

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