Help! I'm in a Relationship and Falling for Someone Else!

Ouch. First of all, let me tell you that there is no way to resolve this situation without someone getting hurt. Either the person you're already dating is going to be hurt because you will probably either leave him or her or try for a while to date your current sweetie and the person you're falling for. Or the "someone else" you've fallen for is going to be hurt because either you choose him or her - and leave a huge deposit of doubt: will you do it again and fall in love with someone else? - or because you don't. And you're probably going to feel pretty bruised by the time this has all settled down. It's no fun to hurt other peoples' feelings, especially people you care about - and there's always the chance they both decide to have nothing further to do with you.

Of course, the easy thing to do is not get into this situation in the first place. You're dating, that usually means you're "taken." You are "off the market" and not supposed to be looking for a new sweetie.

Easy, yes, but not always realistic. Or possible. Sometimes things just...happen, and you didn't mean to fall for him or her, but you did and now what?

Now you need to be honest. Totally honest. If you've fallen for this new person deep enough that you're planning to leave your sweetie, and if the new person feels the same way about you, you do your current boyfriend or girlfriend no favors by continuing the relationship. End it now and give your soon-to-be ex the gift of dignity: being left for someone else is bad enough. Being lied to for months before being left for someone else is cruel and unnecessary. Don't do it. How would you like it if someone did that for you?

However, if the feelings are one-sided, and you're the only one having them, you need to sit down and be honest with yourself. What is lacking in your current relationship that you've fallen for this other person? What needs, real or imagined, do you think this new interest can fill for you that your current sweetie can't? And are you absolutely, positively sure your boyfriend or girlfriend can't fill those needs? Have you asked?

Sometimes people project "the perfect lover" onto someone else because they've got a notion in their head that this other person will meet every single need - it's probably why people tend to get major crushes on movie and television stars. Well, let me tell you, even movie stars have bad days and get cranky and pouty and lose their temper because the garbage hasn't been taken out in a few days. And so does this new person you've fallen for.

And what are you going to do if this "someone else" can't meet your needs either? Fall for someone else while you're still dating him or her? Pretty soon word's going to get around, and no one is going to want to date you - because they've heard you'll leave them high and dry for greener pastures. Can't say I blame them, really.

Light crushes on total strangers or good friends are okay. It's human. After all, you're dating, but you're not dead! But when the feelings start to run deeper - even if it's only on your part - the best thing you can do for everyone concerned is to sit down and try to figure out why.

How you act once you figure it out is completely up to you.

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Comments 359 comments

Josie 7 years ago

This sounds really selfish but I couldn't stand the sight let alone the thought of my partner with someone else....But I do feel the way the article explains.

I was really happy being with my partner until I met this one guy...He's very attractive, taller than me and he's the nicest guy you will ever meet..

Another thing is that my boyfriend currently is shorter, has a different look and he's very immature..and we've been fighting a lot lately...

:(


Paige 7 years ago

I like this article.. I am currently in a sticky similar situation where I like a guy who has a girlfriend yet he has also confirmed he has feelings for me too.. I believe he loves his girlfriend yet is confused and continues to lead me on.. It's rough!! I just feel like even if he does break up with her we can never have a trustworthy normal relationship .. without me being pegged as a homewrecker. They're not married but he has been dating her for 2 years.


Matt 7 years ago

Looks like im the only guy to comment on here but what the hey! iv been in a relationship for 6 years,my girl friend hasent grown up and isn't very motivated at all which puts me right of because im the opposite and i get annoyed with her.not only that but her parents crowd her and don't allow her tho grow up and she is the only person to sort that side of things out not only that but her and my friend i have strong feelings for,i feel like if i was with her and we a had a child ,got married ,bought a house or any other big thing like that and i would be happy.but if i said the same thing with my current girl friend i would feel like i made a cock up as i don't feel very strong for her.we have been together since school im 23 now,and i feel like i need to do something before its to late.my current girl friend is thoughtful,and caring but i don't love her i cant because i lvoe her and mine very mature strong streetwise motivated friend,watch this space i could mess everything up but who knowsi hope not chaps,wish me the best of luck as i do with all you people out there who feel like they haft to hurt someonfe for their own selfish but life changing feelings.


jen  7 years ago

i've been with my boyfriend for two years and i love him but i recently met a boy from my friend's college who is so sweet and respectful one night when i was out partying i texted him and told him i had feelings for him and he told me he felt the same way but he wasn't a homewrecker and wouldn't do anything unless i was single. we text all the time but now i'm so confused i love my boyfriend but i keep thinking about this other kid and i don't wanna lose either of them. ugh good luck to everyone in this position.


confusedguy 7 years ago

hi i'm a 16 years-old high school student and i'm in the same situation, i've been with my girlfriend for 5 months and i really love her, but sometimes i feel like she's very indiferent and it's like i hug and kiss her all the time but she never does that to me! she says she loves me but i'm not sure, and to make it worst this last month i became very close with a friend and at first i was very sure about what i felt for her but now i think i'm falling in love with her...but i have NEVER cheated anyone and i don't wanna start now, and i know it's not just lust because when i think of her i don't think about having sex with her, i imagine holding her hand and hugging her and kissing her and i even get all clumsy and nervous when she's around...i don't know what to do i LOVE my girlfriend but i really like this other girl and if i stay with my girlfriend and she doesn't really love me then i would lose a chance of finding someone who truly cares for me...

please help me


fatnfunny17@rock.com 7 years ago

confused guy u hit my problem right on the nose.... right now the girl i love says she loves me and sometimes i believe her but its hard to believe when shes always crying and when shes not she'll poke fun at me.... she hates showing any affection in public but we never have a chance to be alone in private..... but a few weeks ago i met another girl and she is completely different than my current GF she laughs at my jokes she makes me laugh she always has a smile on her face and she and i had like an immediate connection i can see myself with her more than i can with my GF but its like i don't wanna hurt my GF but i don't wanna stay in something that i cant devote my whole heart to.... HELP!!!!


trish 7 years ago

It sounds like were all in the same situation here!!

Im 21 years old and have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. We have been living together as well so our relationship is really strong and healthy! We get along like best mates, i sometimes feel like im just a guy friend or he is a close girlfriend that's how good we get on.

We both work really hard and I just feel its starting to miss that IT factor. Like that fun that you have when you're single. Ive met a guy who i work with and hes desk is next to mine so were in each others company te whole time. I know he is always looking at me and really cool and funny and utterly gorgeous!! I find myslef thinking of him and not my partner and wanting to talk to him more. I know im flirting with him and i know his flirting back and that's what ive been missing in my relationship. FLIRT!!!!

I know its not worth breaking up with my boyfriend but how can I get that flirty spark in my relationship back????


andigo 7 years ago

same problem here,

trish your problem is recognizable I would say check if you still in love with your current boyfriend, and if he's the right person for you, which is utterly difficult when your in a long relationship.

I myself have a problem that I get feelings for other people I barely know. Just some moments of eye contact can be enough.


diablo09 7 years ago

so i WAS in this situation and this is how i delt with it...

I am currently 17 and have been in a relationship with a guy who i truly love for about two years. A few months ago I started falling for my best friend, I told him that and he told me the same thing. My boyfirend and I both love each other but we did/do have a lot of problems. I spent countless nights wondering weather it would be worth ruining everything my boyfriend had built for one of my clostest guy friends. In the end, I decided against it. I found the more time I spent with my best friend, the more he reminded me of all the great things about my boyfriend. Overall, it wouldn't have been worth the risk because friendships are never the same after you decided to date your best friend... trust me I've tried it in an earlier relationship.

I think the best thing you can do in this relationship is keep your "other person" close without leading him or her on. I sat my friend down and told him that I loved my boyfriend so me and him were going to be JUST FRIENDS. if she or he can't understand that, then they aren't that good of a friend anyway. Besides, if anything should happen to you and your hubbie down the road, you'll still have that person as a shoulder to cry on or maybe even more...


jonnyduude 7 years ago

Im soo glad I came on cause i thought i was the only one who had this problem.

i am in the realtionship & i love the girl and care for her but i have a ex-girlfreind who i did love at the time but i think i love her too & i have fallen a bit out of love with my current girlfreind due to her changing for some strange reason,she is 17 & i am 15 soo it might be a age thing

but i cant help but thinking bout the other girl! it anoys me all day and night long and makes me sad all the time.

i just want to be happy.


So confused 7 years ago

Please can someone give me some advise. I have been with my boyfriend Steve for about 2.5 years. I'm 22 years old. I found my first love Matt when I was 14 years old (young you may think, but he has and always will have a special place in my heart). Matt and I were together for about 15 months and then I broke his heart by breaking up with him because I guess I took him for granted. We have always kept in contact via emails and sms but as the years have gone by our contact has become less and less. I always thought we would get married, I always believed he was my soul mate. And while Ive had several boyfriends between the time when I broke up with Matt to the time when I found Steve, I have always felt like Matt has owned a piece of my heart. The first few years after I broke up with Matt, I felt like he always felt the same way about me. He waited about 4 years before he found another girlfriend and he was with her for nearly 2 years. She was very jealous and didn't want him talking to me while they were together so we lost contact a little. And I began to doubt that he felt anything for me at all. I have always worried that he has begun to hate me for all the hurt i put him through when i broke up with him and then the hurt of being with other guys after him. I felt he always distanced himself from me because he didn't want to get involved again and get hurt again. But there are times when we have spoken that I have seen a glimpse of the old Matt I knew, 'my' Matt. Anyway Steve and I have a "perfect" relationship to the outside world. Our parents and families get along really well and he is a commited person to our relationship. But he has qualities that put me off, qualities that Matt never had. While our families now beleive we will get married one day, I feel pressured to stay with him because I don't want to hurt those people around me by leaving him. I do love Steve but our relationship is more like a great friendship, I don't know if I'm still "in love" with him. He on the otherhand doesn't feel like this at all, and says he still loves me so much. I don't want to hurt him but if I am to marry him then I don't know if I can live the rest of my life ever wondering what if something happened again between Matt and I now that we are alot older. What if Matt really is my soul mate? Or is it possible to have two soul mates?


Confused... 7 years ago

I split up with my ex a year ago. Recently my friend (also one of my ex's friends) asked me out and i said yes. the three of us are really good friends, expecially me and my ex. I tell him everything and i can't imagine life without him. I thought i knew where i was with him, very good friends but nothing more, over him. But now every time i look at my current bf I just see me and my ex. It really hurts, and i'm so confused i dnt know what 2 do. I really like my current bf and I dnt want to hurt him, but I still find myself wishing i was with my ex. This is selfish and stupid I know and I feel terrible about the whole thing. Cam someone please give me some advice...

and good luck 2 every1 eles who is experience these kinda problems.


rose 7 years ago

Unfortunately, it's happened to me too. I'm happy with my partner, we don't fight, we love eachother, but i've also fallen for this other person. Life really can suck sometimes, can't it?


Spun out..:( 7 years ago

Im like all of you really :( sucks...ive been with my gf for nearly 4 months now...she always seems to flirt with guys, kiss them on the cheek and stuff when im around her and especially when im not, and if i ever try and talk about it she just loses it and has a go at me about trusting her, i would love to but recently it seems to just be getting worse.

She says she loves me, and i love her to i think...but im just new to all of this, never had a long term gf before her, and then all of a sudden ive got this other girl saying she likes me and im starting to get the same feeling back towards her.. i just wish i could destroy all the feelings i have and do the right thing ): but it seems like its getting stronger the more i speak to this girl, we're both into the same things, and just seem to get along so well :/ i wish i could make things right, get her out of my life, but i cant...AHHHHH BAD TIMES. please someone help me....getting me out of england would be great :)


Spun out..:( 7 years ago

Im like all of you really :( sucks...ive been with my gf for nearly 4 months now...she always seems to flirt with guys, kiss them on the cheek and stuff when im around her and especially when im not, and if i ever try and talk about it she just loses it and has a go at me about trusting her, i would love to but recently it seems to just be getting worse.

She says she loves me, and i love her to i think...but im just new to all of this, never had a long term gf before her, and then all of a sudden ive got this other girl saying she likes me and im starting to get the same feeling back towards her.. i just wish i could destroy all the feelings i have and do the right thing ): but it seems like its getting stronger the more i speak to this girl, we're both into the same things, and just seem to get along so well :/ i wish i could make things right, get her out of my life, but i cant...AHHHHH BAD TIMES. please someone help me....getting me out of england would be great :)


Amanda  7 years ago

Love is very confusing. I dated my ex josh on and off for a year. I really did love him and I know that he really did love me too. We even lost our virginity together. But I was tired of his b.s. and we just didn't work out. So we became really good friends and told each other everything. So about three months later I started dating my current boyfriend Dylan. We fell in love so fast and so deep. We've been dating for six months but he told me to never talk to josh again. Becausedylan of a really jeleous guy and josh would always flirt with me in front of Dylan. But josh graduated and I'm with Dylan but I'm starting to really miss josh. I'm not over him. I feel like part of him will always have my heart and part of me will have his. But I feel like a bad girlfriend because I'm not over josh and I'm dating Dylan. I miss josh and I would hang out with him. But my whole family and Dylan hate him, because we lost it to eachother. I'm not sure what to do about missing josh. I'm just going to stay with Dylan because I really love him and I'm just going to let things go how they're going and if josh and I are suppsed to date then we will. It might take time but I'll wait. And if Dylan and I are supposed to stay together then that's great. So yeah that's what I'm going to to about my situation.


confusion90 7 years ago

QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been with my current boyfriend for almost 3 years now and have been in a long distance relationship (50 miles apart)for 2 1/2 of those years. I see him maybe one weekend out of the month, so it's been lonely. My bf is a great guy... he's nice, and very kind-hearted; but lately I feel as if he lacks the kind of connection I've been wanting. I am a very passionate person when it comes to philosophy and society, yet my bf is very apathetic about the world. When we first got together, I was just like him... but I have changed over time. So when we see each other it's basically all small talk and I can never unleash the "deeper" side to me because he doesn't comprehend it. My boyfriend isn't an idiot, but I have been wanting a connection where I don't have to hold back on my thoughts and could get input from my significant other. What has really made me realize this, is a boy I recently met who is as passionate about society as I am. I can open up to him and say anything I want without restricting myself to a select vocabulary. On top of that, he has all of the great traits my bf has. I can't say I don't "like him" because I have been finding myself thinking about him a lot... but I can't help but think that maybe I am just craving that deep "connection" so much that it is putting a strain on my relationship w/ my boyfriend and the fact I am VERY lonely is adding to it. Is it wrong to like someone based off one trait/connection lacking in my current bf? OR, is it normal and may pass once I am around my bf more? I'm very unsure what to do and would love insight from anonymous folk.

-Thankyou.


confusedneedhelpreally!! 6 years ago

I'm so so glad that i'm not the only one who has this situation like this. I am so confused and honesty don't know what to do but to think that i would hurt someone else feelings would make me crushed and sad. I love my boyfriend more than anybody in the world because he knew how to make me happy and knowing that life would be better if we are together forever. I am 18 years old and i never had this situation in my life until another guy came into my life. My current boyfriend is 26 years old and will be turning 27 soon. I may be young for him but i love him no matter how old he is because i felt connection with him when I'm in love with him. Unfortunately another guy came into my life, we flirt all the time, having a great time, enjoying life the way it supposed to be. The next few weeks, he told me he has feelings for me and i was surprised even though i told him that i have feelings for him too but he knew i was in relationship with my boyfriend. My current boyfriend is a soldier and often goes to Iraq and we normally chat online and talking on the phone. When i talk to him on the phone, all i wanted was to kiss him so bad but i knew he wasn't there with me and felt sad. When he came to my house, i was soo excited to see him and so happy that he was safe. Even though he lives in New York and i live in Vermont so its been pretty hard lately but i still have feelings for him. There is another guy i truly had great time for being around him but he lives in Canada. Hes wealthy, businessman, has a big heart,never been married,never had a child,hes very easy to talk to, god i love his smile and his gorgeous face.When i think of him, i felt really happy because he seems me once a while as long hes not busy. My current bf is such a great guy and theres nothing i can change for that. When i think of him, i felt something is missing but if i choose my current bf then i'm already a mother so that's a big step for me. But if i choose the wealthy guy who knows how to make me happy when i'm down then I'll feel like the luckiest girl on earth. So I need your advices and so confused! Its not fun to choose the only man i truly in love with! its soo hard! What should i do???


Gem 6 years ago

hey guys and girls, im so glad im not the only one in this situation!

Ive been with my fiancé for 6 years now, we are due to be married in 2011. for the past 2 years ive got chatting to a guy over msn messenger and we have grown pretty close, so close that he come to the house to see me when my fiancé works away.

I do love my fiancé but i just cant help my feelings for this guy, i cant stop thinking about him.

i feel so bad admitting this but we have shared a little kiss, which has made my feelings for him even stronger!

i have no idea how he feels about me as the subject had never came up so this might be one sided!

Im so confused just now... i feel the romance and sparkle has dwindled out of my relationship with my fiancé but the thought of being without him scares me!

What should i do?


confused  6 years ago

The reason why we all ended up on this page is because we want to be happy but know we are not fulfilled in our current relationship.

My situation was that I dated this guy when I was 15 for about a year, we were truly in love and he was the one who set the bar for all the other boyfriends I had after him. The truth is that after we broke up I never stoped thinking of him, and always hoped that life would bring us back together. But it didn't. He got married early this year.

All this time I have dated guys who always had something missing, and recently I was dating one that I thought I could be with for the rest of my life, but deep inside I was hoping I could find out if I still had a chance with my ex. Now that he is married, I feel like I should do the same, my only problem is not knowing if I will ever fall in love like I did when I was 15. People say you do, but its been 10 years and it hasn't happened. I want to get married but I want to be inlove when I do, I don't want to settle for anything less than butterflies, and you shouldn't either.

My advice to you all is don't wait, don't hope for life or time to put you and that special person back together. You can find many people whom you can learn to love and care for, but I believe that falling in love only happens once, twice if you are lucky. Don't wait and see, leave the relationship you are in, and go tell that other person how you feel before it is too late.

You have nothing to lose when you compare to everything you could gain. Sometimes is a matter of pride, sometimes courage, but there is nothing more beautiful than being true to your feelings.


Halie 6 years ago

I know exactly what you all are talking about... im 18 now, but back in my sophmore year of high school i dated a friend of mine for about 4 months. we figured out after that we were better off friends. but i didn't completely feel that way. i felt like i still wanted him more. we still keep in touch to this day on and off throughout the year and every now and then i still have that little spark that triggers for him. but now im with my current boyfriend of six months. i love him very much even though im not so amazed by all of his quirks. he's very loyal to me and we hardly ever get into arguments or disagreements. but since my college year started, ive been talking to my friend more and more. we hangout every now and then. and i think i found feelings for him again. it almost makes me feel less about my current relationship. i don't know what i should do. i love my boyfriend very very much, but then me and my friend have so much more fun together.

someone help me... please...


Yash 6 years ago

Lol Wow i feel like a douche

All of you have been going out for a while

I just started dating my girlfriend a month ago and im already falling for someone else

worst part is i like it and i want her to fall for me too -.-


CL 6 years ago

I'm a 15year old high scho0l student and I'm in the same position as everybody else. I recently started dating one of my best friends, since we liked each other for over 5months before getting the chance to date. But know everything changed, he doesn't make me happy, he's so childish and nothing like he was when we were friends. So I started spending more time with my friends again. My one friend's ex boyfriend, but who'm she still likes, makes me happy, he understands me, he makes me laugh, he's there for me when I need him and he's pretty cute to. We started hanging out more and just yesterday I realised I am falling for him. What should I do? I can't dump my current boyfriend because I l0ve him and I can't give this other guy a chance because my friend is not over him. I'm so confused


lost 6 years ago

It is comforting to know there are many other people out there who feel exactly what I'm feeling. I am not the one to cheat, and that's why I think my situation has consumed me. I haven't been myself lately, not eating and sleeping normally. I have a boyfriend for almost 4 years and I recently been hanging out with a guy and we haven't done anything but talk and get to know each other as friends. He knows I have a boyfriend and after the last time we spoke I found myself thinking about him a lot! I know I like this new guy and the question is why? I feel like I'm being a bad person because I have a bf. He called me two days ago and bascially told me he had feelings for me. I want to know why I am feeling this way about another guy. My boyfriends treats me like a princess and spoils me rotten but I am going to grad school and I am wondering if I need a better intellectual connection. I feel there's no mental simulation and that's what I found in this new boy. He's smart and I feel like I can learn from him and we have deep conversations we feel passionate about. I don't know what to do. I bascially told him I need to think about me and what's going on in my relationship. I don't want to do anything I might regret all because I've developed feelings for this new guy. I guess I feel like I just going with the flow in my relationship, kinda settling until I am absolutely over it. A part of me also doesn't want to give up on my bf because we've been together for so long and we have a long history, I don't know I just feel like I have faith in him. I guess I'm truly lost :(


Lostandconfused 6 years ago

I'm so glad I found this page like all of you. I feel exactly the same - been in a great relationship for a few years, been attracted to other people before but never done anything about it. Then I meet this girl at work who is a few years older than me, late 20s, and we just get on really well. We've been seeing more of each other at work, and met up the odd time for a chat or whatever outside of work. But then we both feeling something for each other. She knows I have a girlfriend, but we still both feel it.

I don't know what to do. Is it worth risking the years of good relationship just for the potential that we can see in our new relationships? What if the new relationship doesn't work out? I don't want to hurt nobody. Buy I feel sometimes some thing is lacking in my current relationship, something that we did once have.

We've all got some real thinking to do and tough decisions to make. Good luck everyone! X


It's hard but worth it 6 years ago

Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way sometimes. I'm 25 and I've been with my bf for about 5 years. Unfortunately (or fortunately, should I say?) he moved to a different state a few months ago for a great job offer. I've found myself kind of crushing on one of my friends, and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual. However! Just because I am attracted to him doesn't really mean anything. I already have a wonderful bf, and I know that our only problem is the distance, which will fix itself as soon as I finished my master's and find some work near him.

I guess my advice for people here is this:

1. Ask yourself- what is good about your current relationship? What would you like to improve? If the pros heavily outweigh the cons, try to work on those issues with your current partner- you've already invested time, energy, and emotion into this person, and it would be unfair to both of you to cut it off (or cheat) because you meet someone you think *might* be better.

2. Ask yourself- what is it that you're attracted to in the other person? Is it their looks? Remember- pretty people are a dime a dozen. You will always run into some handsome guys or gorgeous girls no matter where you go. Is it their personality? If you've lost that connection with your current bf or gf, work on rebuilding it. Spend some time with them when you can talk and connect like you did in the early days of you relationship. Also, remember- your bf or gf should be your BEST friend, but not your only friend. One person cannot fill all of your emotional and intellectual needs. Keep that in mind- it is healthy to spend time with other people as long as you still make time for you partner.

3. Is is all about convenience? It sounds ridiculous, but convenience is probably about 80% of the problem. If you read through these posts, most people here are in long distance relationships. If you're just looking for some booty call, snap out of it! Have more respect for both yourself and your current partner.

4. Is this unique? - Sad but true, when I started crushing on my friend, I stopped and made a list of all of the guys I had crushed on over the last year, and I came up with a over 10 names. I think most of us would come up with similarly long lists if we wrote down all of the people we thought about being with besides our partner. Point is, it's normal to find people attractive, but you're in control of how you react to it, and if you're not acting on/encouraging these feelings, they fade quickly.

5. Last but not least- I personally believe that the idea of "soul mates" is really detrimental to healthy relationships. There's this idea out there that there is one PERFECT person for you, and the truth is that no one is perfect. In high school, my history teacher made a point that has stayed with me. We were covering medieval history, and he pointed out that in those days, most people married another person within a 10 mile radius. The pickings were slim, and yet "they were no less happy in their relationships back then than we are today." People then didn't search for years to try to find a "perfect" man or woman- they simply enjoyed and appreciated the prospects before them. My teacher then went on to say "Look around you. Each of you here could easily have a happy, loving relationship with about a tenth of your peers." The more I think about this, more I think this is true, and the confusion so many people face reflects this. The initial spark of romance is not what builds a relationship- it's the choices you make day after day, year after to year to be committed to that other person, to love and respect and appreciate them.

Wow,this ended up being way longer than I planned for, but in short- unless something is fundamentally wrong with your relationship, it's probably better to try to work things out than jump into yet another relationship.


Just what "It's hard but worth it" said... 6 years ago

Great post, and even though some comments are saying you shouldn't fall for your friends, I believe it takes a good/best friend to have a great relationship, since you know he/she will be there for you. And again, just what "It's hard but worth it" said, try fixing the "missing" feelings you and your current gf/bf are missing, but if you HONESTLY KNOW NOT THINK, that you "love" an older friend then your current bf/gf, then do what you got to do.

One thing I remember an old friend telling me is,

"tell me 10 things that you like/love about me", not being in a humor way but in all seriousness, try asking that to your current bf/gf and the your "old" friend, this should only apply to people who say they love there best/old friends, because new persons can make things up and judge for whatever reason to win you over. Just my 2 cents.


hate this feeling 6 years ago

I am in this position right now. It sucks ass. I have been with my boyfriend (now fiancé) for 4.5 years, we are great together, like best friends, our families get along great, we have the same sense of humour, he loves me more than anything else... although, for the last 6 months I just haven't felt quite the same with him, I don't think I'm 'in love' with him anymore.. I love him, but am not 'in love'.. I just went with it and continued to live my life regardless. But now, for the last month, I have a MASSIVE crush / feel like I am in love with one of 'our' friends. He is older, more mature, I don't know if we would actually be a good couple or not, but the horrible, gut wrenching feeling will not go away. I am continuously thinking, dreaming etc about this person and it's driving me mental. He likes me too, and I have no idea what to do. I love my partner but don't at the same time. I have feelings for someone else but don't think it's the right thing to do. I just wish the feeling would go away but it wont. I don't feel motivated to do anything other than sit down and think, but I can't think of anything useful... Just needed to vent. I'm sure everything with figure itself out in the end. Life is weird.


taylor 6 years ago

this choice is never easy do you stay with the person youv been with for a long time who you love but things just arnt the same or do you go with the person who can always put a smile on your face and make you get that fuzzy feeling but they know your taken and may find some one else its a hard choice with lots of strings


Jessica 6 years ago

Well, I randomly searched for a question on the internet and came across this. I never thought that there would be so many people with this same problem!

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years, and we're crazy-ridiculously happy with each other. But. We share different faiths. I'm Protestant and he's Catholic. I know I can never marry him, but this he doesn't know. I will eventually have to end it before he transfers to another college next summer. I've been trying not to think about about it, but I can't help it.

Here's the difficult part: A friend of mine shares the same faith as me and a strong Godly man. We facebook chat and have been doing that since probably the beginning of the year. I thought nothing of it at first, ya know? It's just facebook. Then somehow he had my number from high school (We shared a club that had a huge roster of member's numbers) and texted me randomly one day. After that, we had a TWO-HOUR text conversation, and I stupidly spilled my issue with boyfriend with him (since he is a Christian and maybe would have advice for me...). Weeks after that, he texts me a lot again, and starts behaving really flirty towards me. I flirt back unconsciously. Later I realize what's going on, and I tell him to back off. He apologizes, and says we'll text less. Fast forward to two weeks later, and he still texts me. I STILL RESPOND.

I really admire this guy because of his strong faith and character. We both share some of the same goals in the long run, and I guess I let myself get carried away. It just shocked me. I didn't think men like him existed. I mean it sucked enough that I fell in love with a man that I can't marry. But now, I think I might have slight feelings for this guy, and my guy isn't aware of that. I told him that the other guy was acting too flirty and that we were texting, and he agreed that we shouldn't as much. But it's just ugh..I don't know.

How is it possible to love someone so much, but yet like someone else? I know I only like him because he shares the same faith as me. That sounds like such a dumb reason. I have something special with my boyfriend, and I don't want to end things this way. I know I will never act on my feelings, but I still don't like feeling this way. I've been trying to psych myself out of it and stop feeling this way, but it's hard to when he texts me so much. =/


jade_babe 6 years ago

I am in the same situation now,, my head is all over the place,, i think i only like this guy cause in my eyes hes perfect,, tall good looking,, got money loves shopping only bad thing is that hes in the army and has a bad temper!

but after being on here,, i just realised that the boy i am with is all those things and i need to work harder to make my realtionship work! i love my boyfriend to bits and i can see a future with him.... just got to forget bout this other boy and keep him as a close friend! x


alexis p 6 years ago

Oh my I'm in love with this page... But I almost had a tear there lol. Just like the rest of you I am having the same exact situation... My boyfriend and I have been going out for a little over 2 years now and I lovve for him and care for him, but it just feels like the love is lost and it just makes me want to cry because I've been feeling this way for a while now but I do still care for him, but on top of that just like everyone else we too have problems of our own and as much as I've tried and gave it my best so many times to help it and work them out it's like I'm the only one trying .... and so there's this guy that I've talked to here and there and of course I always thought he was cute and we would flirt a little and what do you know? He's in my night class! So we've been sitting next to each other flirting a lot, we've been hanging out, out of school and we just have so much fun together and he is such a gentlemen... My bf isn't even a gentlemen to me... Sigh it sucks I don't know what to do I even introduced my bf to my whole family and they all love him bit at the same time it's like it's my own business right? Not theirs and I'm 18 I'm still young and as much as my bf and I have talked about being together for the rest of our lives I feel like I'm just his first love that he's going to always have in his heart but just learn off of for his next relationships because I'm his first real relationship and I know that were still young and we pretty much have the rest of our lives to find our soulmates idk maybe I'm being selfish but I don't wanna let him go and I don't wanna dump him for some guy maybe I should just be single an have fun? I'm 18 and gonna join the airforce I think I should have some fun shhhhhoooot I don't know I was really ready to settle down but with me being the only one trying at this relationship I'm "falling " for somebody else ughhhhh relationships sure can be complicated


2boys1heart 6 years ago

I'm glad to know i am not the ONLY person that has this problem. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost three years. Three years will be in about 2 weeks....but i've managed to start having feelings for my really good friend who've i've known just as along as my boyfriend. We've been close on and off though considering I haven't had many classes with him over my high school career. But we have managed to talk on the phone and text and also hang out a few times. We have feelings for each other. And it sucks because I still love my boyfriend yet want a change because I've been with him for SO LONG. I really don't know what to do. i tried telling my other friend that I was going to stay with my boyfriend for now, and he sort of flipped out and just stopped talking to me. Ever since, hes been so different and that's not what I want. considering i STILL have feelings for him. I really do not know what to do...


Robin 6 years ago

Hi!

I am in a similar situation

I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. I love him. But I must admit, I don't think I'm in love with him - and perhaps I never was. When we met, I had just ended another relationship, and I was vulnerable and lonely. He was kind, funny and attractive. We had so much in common. I felt safe with him. I felt comfortable with him. And I still do. He's my best friend...but...I'm starting to feel that after 3 years it's time to make a decision about our future together...and I don't know what to do...

The thing is...I know this guy and - if I'm honest - I'm sort of in love with him. This guy has feelings for me too (though i'm guessing not love). it's been going on for years now- the flirting, the chemistry and it really feels like we have some kind of bond... even though we never had a relationship... I feel bonded to him... and I think he feels the same way... the problem is he is married... so, sadly, he isn't available. But the point is, I feel the butterflies for him, being around him makes me so happy, - and I don't feel that way about my bf...and I'm starting to think I should leave my bf and try to find someone who does make me feel like that...

But what if I never feel like that about anyone ever again? I'm so frightened that I'm just going to end up regretting leaving my bf. Afterall, our relationship is good in many ways...it's just not...it's just not got that special something which I feel I need...

What should I do?


Alexis p 6 years ago

Oh it's me again lol...

Robin your situation and my situation is almost exactly alike lol! I just have to vent again.... So I keep thinking about thisand it sucks becuse ok I've been hanging out with my guy friend almost everyday and I'm falling for him more and more each day and wehave so much fun! & just like you robin I started going out with my boyfriend for 2 years now like righ after I ended a real big relationship and just like you I felt safe with him he was funny attractive and all the goods but maybe I rushed into a relationship too quickly! and now I'm kind of regretting it because I feel like all our connection is lost like I don't even have anything to talk to him about but with my guy friend we have such a blast and I hate to say it but he ha soo much qualities that I like in a guy rather than my boyfriend does an I'm mad a myself for that never in my life would I think I'd be in a situation like this and I'm kinda glad to know that I'm not the only one in this world with this problem but it totally sucks I really don't know what to do? and I've tried soo many times to end my relationship so I could just be single but I think my boyfriend senses it that we are sort of drifting away from each other and I think it makes him want me MORE and I hate it because I don't want to break his heart .... maybe I should just tell him we need a break and some time apart because he does live with me and were always in eachother faces and he's been living with me since I was 16 maybe I'm just too young for this kind of commitment and need to go out for once and let loose and be a kid again and go out with y homegirls and dance the night away lol I need some me time ;/


Emily 6 years ago

Hi I'm Emily, I'm 17,I been with steven for a year and two months I falling in love with him when he took my virginity and i haven't slept with anyone else ever since, only him. but now i find myself falling for his bestfriend dan. Me and dan text all the time but have to be careful because i live with steven so we usually text when stevens at work. Dan lives a few towns away, when i talk to him i feel something special and we told each other that we love each other, I've tried to break it off with him but I hurt him too much and I hurt myself too. really were just friends with benefits but we haven't had sex, we talk bout it a lot and doing other things together, i enjoy talking bout it, but when steven comes home from work and has a smile on his face and kisses me i feel guilty of doing it, because he loves me with all his heart and i love him with mine. but i feel theres a pace for dan in mine too. i don't want to stop things with him because i don't want to hurt him. I also don't want steven to find out what's going on with me and his bestfriend.i love dan but we mostly talk dirty all the time and i have a feeling its just lust. Me and steven use to be very intimate with each other now its like a daily thing and not so speical anymore when we do have sex, he plays video games and skates and said "he feels lonely here without his frirends". which hurt me, he wants to marry me and i want to marry him. but i still don't know what to do about dan, im falling for him the more i talk to him, everyday. I think of him at night and sometimes think of him when im having sex with steven. Im afraid to loose steven and see him with someone else. This is wrong doing this to him because I love him dearly. I get jealous when dan talks bout another girl and im not even with him. Can someone please help me, is it lust with me and dan? Should i end it now? please someone help me. you can email me or answer here. here's my email. emily.robertson17@yahoo.com


6 years ago

Oh my goodness me! I thought I was the only one that experienced something like this!!! Am so glad that I found this page.

Well I've been with my boyfriend for about 10months, & we got together shortly after I ended a previous relationship. Though I don't think that he's a rebound, I feel like I rushed into the relationship. I didn't give myself enough time to get to know him before we jumped into the relationship. Although we've known each other for 8 years now, we only became closer about a year ago. ):

I think I love him. But recently I've got to know this guy who lives really near me. I've thought that he was attractive since a while back, even before I met my boyfriend but I thought nothing about it. But after getting to know him, I find myself enchanted by him. I cannot stop thinking about him, & I've dreamt about him for a couple of nights consecutively. I find myself waiting for him to text me, & I sulk when I receive a text, & its not from him. It even happened when the text was from my boyfriend.

I notice him a lot because he stays so near to me. I observe everything about him, & I always wish to "bump" into him when I go out, or when I come home. I just don't know what to do because he's taking up so much of my mind. There's no space for anything else & all I can think of is him.

I have no idea why I feel like this. I'm really happy with my boyfriend although we do have small problems. There's no reason for me to break up with him cause I really think I do love him. But why is this guy taking up so much of my mind? I find myself thinking about him unknowingly & its starting to scare me. ):


unknown. 6 years ago

why isn't there an answer to these problems? Im in the same situation :(


hawkeye1 6 years ago

for these problems there are no answers.only you need to solve this, its sound easy but for sure its not. you must have the guts to follow your own heart. there will indeed always be someone who get hurt, maybe u maybe your (boy or girl)friend maybe both.people say love sucks. but its not love is verry beautyfull its only hard.and be sure it happen nows but it will happen again and again. thats the way love is. even if u are maried it can happen you can not controle that. so all just need to follow their own heart.good luck to all


hawkeye1 6 years ago

for these problems there are no answers.only you need to solve this, its sound easy but for sure its not. you must have the guts to follow your own heart. there will indeed always be someone who get hurt, maybe u maybe your (boy or girl)friend maybe both.people say love sucks. but its not love is verry beautyfull its only hard.and be sure it happen nows but it will happen again and again. that's the way love is. even if u are maried it can happen you can not controle that. so all just need to follow their own heart.good luck to all


Tiffany 6 years ago

I've been dating my current boyfriend for just over 4 years. I am 24, he is 36. It sounds like a big age difference, but it's honestly never been an issue. We have so much in common...we both love the same movies, music, activities, and we have very similar personalitites. For complicated financial reasons, we don't live together, but we plan on moving in together when I graduate from college in a few months. We have also spoken about taking the next big step and getting married...

Now, this all sounds well and good, but over the past year, I've slowly begun to fall for this guy that I work with. I knew he liked me from the get-go, but it took me longer to fall for him. But in the last few months, I've really fallen HARD. He's a really nice, funny guy. And I sense a very strong physical attraction (on both sides) that I never felt toward my current boyfriend.

If I'm completely honest with myself, I have to admit that I'm not as attracted to my long-term BF as I used to be. Our relationship isn't as romantic as it used to be. That sexy spark just isn't there. We are so busy, and not living together doesn't help. It feels like we're just really good friends. Unfortunately, I KNOW my boyfriend is still really attracted to me, while my romantic feelings have been diverted to the guy I work with.

The worst part of this is that if I break off with my BF, I will really hurt, and potentially destroy him. He is extremely sensitive, and has been hurt in relationships before. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt him, but I obviously don't love him the right way if I'm falling for someone else.

I think what it really comes down to, is being true to yourself. If I stick it out for the wrong reasons, I'll just end up hating myself and becoming resentful and bitter. That's not fair to me, or to my BF.

I really hate myself for what I am inevitably going to have to do. I don't know how to soften the blow or how to prepare him. I hope we can stay friends. God, I hate this...

Good luck everyone.


Albert 6 years ago

i have been in the exact same situation. but now i am going to give up on one and charge for the other to make life easier. instead of people not wanting to date me. (if they wanted to)


anonymous* 6 years ago

i'm a sophomore in high school and i've been in a relationship with the same guy, a junior, for over a year now. up until about four months ago, our relationship was very solid and strong. we loved eachother more than anything in the world. as soon as we started fall sports, things started to fall apart and i could never place my finger on the reason why. he started ignoring me, blowing me off, and being just plain mean. he claims to love me, and i don't doubt it, but i don't think he loves me as much as he used to.

recently, i started talking to a senior who has expressed interest in me, and has told me that he planned on persuing me LAST year, until he realized that coming out of nowhere and hitting on some freshman would be slightly creepy. he's sweet, funny, and down right adorable. he's also quite short, which i don't mind, due to the fact that i'm only 5'1". i developed a huge crush on him, and he knows it. but, since he knows about my boyfriend, he's tried to move on to this girl he works with. he talks to me about her excessively, and it's upsetting, i'm not going to lie. my best girl friend is not so fond of my boyfriend and says if i leave him, my senior buddy will come crawling back to me, but at this point, i'm not so sure.

i feel horrible about my "secret crush." my boyfriend is extremely possessive and becomes furious hen i talk to any other guy. he has no idea that the senior and i have ever made contact at all. i hate lying to him, and i feel like i'm cheating on him [in a way], but due to his recent behavior, i have considered leaving him. he's lied multiple times on high-scales, stopped standing up for me, and we haven't had a nightly phone conversation in the past 2 months that has lasted longer than three minutes. also, last month, he broke up with me after i got mad at him for lying to me.

i have no idea what the right thing to do is anymore, and i'm absolutely desperate for advice.


Tiffany 6 years ago

Anonymous--

Your current BF's mood swings seem strange and a little scary. I'd break it off if I were you.

Good luck and take care of yourself!


Confused 6 years ago

Hi all,

I have been with my partner for 4 years and we have children together. I have never been unfaithfull before but recently after having years of accusations and mistrust I have met someone who I think I am falling for.

I know it's just lust but you can't help that feeling!!!

I am 31 now and really feel that I shouldn't be feeling like this. I just feel so confused and guilty now that I just don't know what to do.

I have had a similar thing happen to me in the past and it's not nice. All this just adds to the confusion. I feel I should just forget about this new person in my life but, in five years time will I just regret this.

I have always thought that it's best to regret something you have done than something you hav'nt. I'm just not sure if that should apply to this!!

Any advice would be appriaciated


confused..* :( 6 years ago

Ok, my situation is WAY different than everyone elses, but I have a feeling that some of you will have some really good advise for me. Please do not say anything negitive about my situation, it's very hard on me already. So this is kinda hard to sum up but i'll try.

**I've gone to the same school as Jordan since kindergarten, now i'm a sophomore in high school and he is a junior. I never really noticed him in a more than friends way, until last year. I was at a party with my friend, we live in an extremely small town (maybe 2,000 people), and we were just socializing. The door opens and I look up, Jordan's eyes meet mine, I had this EXTREMELY intense feeling. It felt like my stomach lifted up and was vibrating and my heart was fluttering, I couldn't look away at all. Since i'm only 15 i've never felt anything like this before. But I was, and still am, completely positive that we have something strong between us. That was Feb. 2009. I've liked him A LOT ever since, so much that I turn down every guy that askes me out just because I only want him. We started talking a lot again when school started and I was liking him, and I had a good feeling that he liked me too. One night we got into an argument, and the next day he started dating a girl that he only hung out with 2 times before. They have been dating ever since, they just had their 4 month. It was soo hard on me, I wanted to do nothing. Finally right before Christmas, I started to move on just a bit. But we have a class together, p.e. And the girls always have study hall while the boys play football, so all us girls sit on the ground. Well he accidently ran into me, he was like 4 inches away from my face and we were looking straight into eachothers eyes for seriously 10 seconds. It was amazing like 10x's more intense than the first time. Then his eyes suddenly got extremely soft and his voice got very soft and quiet and he's like im sorry! But it had so much meaning, then someone called his name and he went to the guy. But since then I always catch him staring at me and he'll run right in front of me and lift his shirt up and be very loud and smile. But his girlfriend, she is a complete bitch to him. I can't stand her. They fight 24/7. My best friend is dating Jordan's older brother and she says everytime shes at his house Jordan is fighting with her over something dumb she got mad about. I don't know what to do. I choose not to move on. There is something there. I just know it.


eve 6 years ago

i liked this guy for 7 months, he was perfect to me and i loved him. he got a girlfriend though and broke my heart. i figured the best thing to do was try and move on. i met someone new and we haven't been together very long, but i can't stop thinking about the other guy, i want him so bad it hurts.

i don't want to hurt my boyfriend because he's so genuine and lovely but i just can't bear to be kissing him and thinking of someone else.

i don't want to hurt anyone :'(


Heartache 6 years ago

I hate to say it like this, but Im in love w/ someone else. Ive always felt strongly in one way or another, for my friend Billy even before I met my boyfriend. Ive only realised lately that I am actually in love w/ him.

He has a girlfriend aswell, and lives w/ her not 20 mintues away from me.

I feel awful saying this, but we have slept together whilst in our relationships.

The thought of cheating was something I was totally against, but then, we all do things we don't expect when you feel so strongly. My boyfriend is just so different to him, hes immature, close-minded and belittling. Billy is just so inspiring and amazing, and I just cant stop thinking about him.

I know deep down that we wont work out, that he wont leave his girlfriend and that I'll act like Im ok with it. But I cant help myself. What am I meant to do?? He's in my mind constantly and I cant imagine giving up on him and cutting all bonds w/ him, I would seriously die inside :(

Even thought I know deep down it wont happen, I cant stop myself thinking, "well why did he cheat w/ me" and "if I feel this way and would be prepared to leave my boyfriend, maybe he is too". I know its idealism and fantasy, but I would just like a glimmer of hope, and a spark of interest :( Maybe Im just feeling sorry for myself... it sucks anyway


net 6 years ago

Hey,

I have to say that I went through the same thing. For almost a year I was completely confused. I was stuck in a rut of depression mixed with a lot of confusion. Love is about taking risks so do what you feel is right but I am a true believer in Karma and it will bite you in the ass, however it's a lesson learned.

I chose the guy I was falling for over the guy I was in love with. I would look at it with regret but that's life. Do what you know will make you happy, don't worry about anyone but yourself. If later you think it was mistake just remember that life is about making them.

This probably sounded like a load of shit. Haha sorry just trying to help. Good luck.


anonymous 6 years ago

im in the same situation, ive been dating my bf for 1.5 years and im falling for my friend...i know he likes me too but he doesnt want anything fro m me until i break up with my bf...but i don't know what to do...im so confused


anonymous 6 years ago

im in the same situation, im 21 years old. ive been dating my 28yrs old bf for 1.5 years and im falling for my friend...i know he likes me too but he doesn't want anything fro me until i break up with my bf...he has exactly what my bf doesn't have but my bf has also something that my friend doesn't have...my bf is mature, he wants to have a family soon but in too young, im not ready for that...my friend has my age so we understand well eachother, and everytime we are together at school, we laugh so much and we smile. and when im cold, he gives me his jacket, sometimes he opens the door for me, he texts me when i ask him...its so weird...im confused...when my bf touches me, im not happy coz im always thinking about my friend...imagining him touching me....im really thinking about leaving my bf but if it wont work out with my friend, ill regret it all my life...but if i stay with my bf, i might regret not giving my friend a chance! and i really feel like my feelings for my friend are stronger! does anybody have an advice for me??? please??? im really lost and desperate!!! i need a quick decision (within few weeks coz i feel that if ill continue like that, it will finish badly and i don't want to lose both of them). S.O.S !!!


anna martinez 6 years ago

... i never expected to fall for someone else..

i guess bcuz my girlfriend and i have been arguing a lot lately i see it that i dnt wana deal wit da drama anymore.. so i began to talk to someone else.. she is way younger than i am but she makes me happy.. don't get me wrong i do love my girlfriend of 1 year but im tired of all the fights and tears... i wana be happy too.. but im afraid if i stay with my girlfriend then all we will do is fight.. so what's the point of staying together when all we do is fight?.. why not try nd be happy wit someone else.. it seems easy to just let go.. but i dnt kno how to live with out my girlfriend.. nd im scared to leave my 80 for a 20.. this is very hard.. i just want to be happy without hurting anybody.. but that's impossible..


Savannah 6 years ago

This is the absolute worst situation to be in. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. I love him more than anything, but About six months ago I started talking to this guy. I have never in my life met a guy like this before. He was just jaw-dropping amazing, handsome, sweet, he made me feel things I've never felt before. I talk to him almost everyday, and have been for the past six months. I've gotten to the point to where I ended up cheating on my boyfriend. We've talked about it and I told him everything, and surprisingly he loves me enough, and he decided to stay with me. If tried to fix this problem, but it just seems to get worse and worse. I have extremely strong feelings for this guy and I want to be with him more than anything in the world. The thing is, it just hurts so bad knowing I would have to hurt one of them. And I'm scared that I'll end up making the wrong decision. Once I develop feelings for someone it's hard to let go. I want both of them, but I can't continue cheating. I have a real hard time dealing with this kind of stuff. Most of my friends are guys and they all seem to fall for me. It's hard and it sucks. I never know what to do. I think about this every single day. I really really need help. :(


confusedandhurting 6 years ago

Hi, I'm glad i'm not the only one in this kind of situation. My problem is last year I made friends with this really great guy at college. However he's always been with this girl for the time that i have known him and i think they've been together for 2 years now. Thing is for the last 9 months i know he's had really strong feelings for me and i feel exactly the same. I know he really loves his gf and feels bad for the situation that we're in. I feel bad for the gf because i don't think she knows... of course i can't say anything to her because that would cause upset between me and the guy. I don't want to hurt anyone, but i'm fed up of feeling hurt.

It's hard as well because the guy and me live about 45 mins away from each other driving so i rarely see him. We both miss each other and to compensate we always end up having long phone calls late at night in which we both flirt with each other... (although these don't tend to be very often cause we both have busy lives.)

My best friend thinks he's stringing me along, but i don't think it's true cause i know it's possible to like two people and thinks i should leave well alone. But it's not that simple. Especially as the other night me, him, his gf and a group of mutual friends met up and went to this adventure park thing and basically me and him got some time alone and we were holding hands and he ran his hands down my back and legs and round my waist...thing is i didn't feel bad about it, when i probably should have done... we haven't spoken since though... so really confused. :(

thanks for listening. please help if you can. :)


reallyconfusedandlovesick 6 years ago

I'm probably younger than most people posting on here...just about to enter High School. About a year and a half ago, I got with this girl, and I really liked her. She goes to a different school than I so I see her about twice a month, but we constantly text. For about a year and a month, I was perfectly happy with her until I asked one of my friends to dance as a friend at one of my school dances (my girlfriend had OK'd this as long as there was no romance...she couldn't come to my dances, the school didn't allow it, which is why she wasn't there) but I really fell for my friend. Now, I really, really, like her... my girlfriend is smart, beautiful, funny, nice...but there's just something about my friend that made me fell for her. Unfortunatley, one of my guy friends really likes her, too, and went out with her before. They kind of like each other now (my guy friend isn't allowed to go out, though) to the point where they put their arms around each other, but I've shared some romantic moments with the friend, too. Only ONE friend knows about this (not my parents...they're great, but they would freak if they knew) and the other guy friend suspects, I think... I'm so confused, I like the girl so much. My girlfriend I don't feel any romantic connection to but I get so many feelings when I simply see my friend. HELP!!!


Anonymous 6 years ago

This affects me too...but my problem is worse.

My partner is pregnant with our unexpected child which we aren't ready for. For months I've been constantly thinking about someone else and I'm too scared to ask for help from anyone in the event either of them find out. I really feel like I love this other girl, my partner has been treating me like trash for a long time, and she blames it solely on the pregnancy.

The other person is always there for me, and understands why I hurt sometimes because of my partner. They're friends, but my partner is too jealous of every girl she sees near me to let us all be in the same room. Like every one else on this page, I'd love for some help, yet it seems nobody does, at least I've gotten this off my chest at the moment. :(


Unsure. . 6 years ago

unsure of wat to do I've been with my gf for 3 years now we just bought a house and I do love her but the relationship overall gas not been happy there is a number of thongs that my gf has done on me in the past that I don't think I can't get over but pretend I have just to keep the peace, well before I even meet my current gf I was supposed to go out on a date with another girl who lives almost 2 hours away we have always kept in contact through txts and phone calls, I think about her everyday and dream about her I always have even when I only started with my current gf bt was always afraid distance would become a problem. Over the last three years the girl i have fell for has fell for me too, I'm kept in the relationship I'm in now through finances and the fear of my current gf doing something silly. I don't know what I should do?


6 years ago

I've been in a relationship with this guy for 5 years now. He's exactly twice my age and his my manager. The relationship stared as a miss understanding and because of the type of person I am I can't get it over my heart to tell him that I really don't love him. I've fallen for an amazing young guy but for the fear of loosing my job (which I can't afford to do) I have distanced myself from him. Unfortunately I pass him everyday on my way to work and it's really getting unbearable.


confused 6 years ago

I've been with my gf for 2 months now and i really love her a lot more than any girl i have dated and i've been in a lot of relationships,but about 1 week ago her friend and i have been hanging out a lot and we're always talking about stuff we have so much in common sometimes we always make each other happy and it feels like we were made for each other she even said she wished we both met when we weren't in a relationship and i feel the same way too.The problem is her and i both are in a relationship but we really like each other a lot and we both would go out with each other if we could.Idk what i should do i want to break up with my gf but i still love her but recently our relationship feels so empty its nothing like it used to be when we were started going out at first and her friend is always thinking about me and i'm always thinking about her someone help me out here idk wat i should do someone help me out.


cinderella story 6 years ago

I need help my story is strange. I was high school sweet hearts with my ex I wasn't totally in love with him at first then I fell for him hard. Before I met him I had a daughter she was a few months old me and my ex got together and he was awesome with the both of us.. I was total in love with him. we went to college and I got pregnant by him we seperated we tryed to get ack together but long distance didn't work he ended up finding a girl getting married had a baby within a 12 month period i was devistated years went by and I am doing great found a new love. We kept in little contact with each other for my daughter we all grew apart. his fast paced marriage didn't last they went through a nasty divorse we started talking again and BOTH of our feelings came back. I love my Fiancé but and theres a but I cant get rid of the fire that is still lit between my ex and I truth is I think I never stopped loving him I think I just put the love in a box for a while. What do I do. I love my Fiancé I really do I would never cheat on him but I cant these other feelings out of my head.


calvin chase 6 years ago

i lkie this other girl but im in a relishinship and don't no what to do its to hard i like this other girl so much why is it diffcult


feelingawful 6 years ago

my situation is a little different...my boyfriend of 2 yrs is studying abroad and i met a new guy...i really like him and he really likes me BUT i made the mistake of not telling him i was in a relationship. i also told him i don't have a facebook account [because of my friends comments about me n my bf] and now i want to pursue this new guy BUT i need to come clean about my current bf and my fb page:(what do i do??

why didn't i tell him i was single? hes such a decent guy that if i had told him that i wasn't single, he would have never spoken to me.


Lia 6 years ago

At least i'm not the only one in this situation. Love really sucks sometimes :(

I'm 19. I've been with my boyfriend, my first love, for 5 years now. We've always been fine and happy. But recently, i met this other guy online. We got on really well, and before i knew it, i'd started to fall for him.

And this made me re think things with my boyfriend a lot. Do i even still love him? The thing is, i don't think i do anymore. I've wrapped my life around him. I go to college with him, he gives me a lift everyday, and we were going to go to university together. Am i just with him out of habit? For convenience??

And i can't stop thinking about this other guy. And i know it's gone too far now. I love him. I love everything about him. I've never met anyone like him before. And he loves me. I actually got to the stage where i was with my boyfriend, and all i wanted to do was go home so i could chat to this guy. I'd spend every night talking to him, listening to his voice, saying how much i loved him, and going crazy every time he said it back.

Right now, i've told my boyfriend. It's been quite hectic and crazy right now. My boyfriend knows about this other guy and i don't even know why i told him. I can't lie. I'm terrible at it. And they actually spoke to eachother. :/

Right now, i've gave myself a week. I'm not contacting either my boyfriend, or this other guy. This is actually what they worked out together. And at the end of this week, i've got to choose. Choose my normality. The guy i care about, but i'm not in love with. Or choose this new guy, a guy i adore, a guy who adores me, but a choice of uncertainty.

This is the hardest situation i've been in, in my life.


RCM 6 years ago

wow! we have problems don't we? ok here's the deal.. i have a girlfriend, shes 21 and im the same age.. we have been together for 2 years and a half.. but just this past saturday when i went to a friend's party, i met a girl.. eversince then i kept thinking of her.. i was in-like with this new girl.. i don't know what to do.. i have falling out of lovee with my girlfriend eversince.. but i don't want to hurt her.. i don't want to break her heart because i think she's too fragile.. im aftraid that if i tell her she might not take it well.. so im just waiting for her to initiate the break up.. but this new girll.. man! i don't even talk to her, but i really like her. she's got me already.. her looks.. her eyes.. i like her because shes simple.. not flashy.. i really got it bad.. i haven't been normAL eversince i saw her.. i always have this thing in my head.. that i like her.. whenever i talk to my girlfriend, we don't seem to be sweet anymore as before.. i know she loves me.. i know she cares for me.. that's why i don't want to break her heart. but i think i want to be with this new girl.. my girlfriend didn't do anything.. i mean shes awesome and all but maybe because its been 2 and a half years, im thinking at this stage of the relationship, it really does happened that you get tired with your boyfriend/girlfriend and need to take a break. personally i think theres two different relationship.. one is both grow stronger together and the other is both grow apart from one another.. in my case is the second one..well for myself that is.. my girlfriend is awesome.. its not her fault or whatsoever.. its really me.. but i don't want to make the first move.. i want her to do it.. i want her to break up with me.. instead of me breaking up with her.. so i can have a sign if relief.. PLEASE HELP ME.. I REALLY LIKE THIS NEW GIRL.. IM REALLY SORRY IM A BAD PERSON.. BUT ITS MY FEELINGS..


HelpmeNOW 6 years ago

Okay. I have a BIG dilemma.

I'm young. Like under 18 young and I'm in a relationship with this guy. We've been dating for half a year and he was my guy best friend before we started dating. Well now... I have fallen for this other guy. He's also my guy best friend and this morning I have found out that he is now dating my other friend. Finding that out has actually killed me inside. And the guy I'm dating now, well there's nothing special anymore. The guy I've fallen for has had a past with my friends, and they all insulted him and called him a pig. But I really like him and have NO idea what to do.


its complicated 6 years ago

I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years (im 21 now so since i was 16) and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with the relationship that were in, but i feel like im missing out on my youth because now were at college together and i see all these other people my age out having a great time. I feel like its the right person wrong time, like why couldn't i have just met you in 5 years?!?!....any advice?


to anonymous with prego 6 years ago

to the anonymous guy with the pregnant gf, breaking up sux but from experience, staying together for a child does not help anyone. The relationship from what i can tell sounds very destructive. That does not mean that you should not still support the pregnant woman and take care of your child. But you are a human being and she cant treat you like you are anything else (hormones are a bitch tho...lol) id sit her down and tell her that you feel like shes taking advantage of you and the situation, your top priority should be the child, you staying in this relationship will NOT help that child at all I promise. - hope it helps, but im no therapist. Congrats on your baby (even tho it wasn't planned, parenthood is a wonderful thing, love it!


Leanne 6 years ago

Lisen guys! i need a lot of help, well the other day i got with a guy that's reaaly sweet and he treats me amazingly! but i don't love him, i don't know why.. i want to but i don't, my other friend nikki started going out with someone called steven who is the nicest looking out of all our friends, he is really mature and the other day i realised that i love him! i don't know what to do, nikki dumped him the other day infact but i know hed never go for me, well he might but i don't wanna' get hurt!


yaya 6 years ago

is it normal to fall for another guy when i'm only 6 months into my current relationship? i feel like such a b%tch


It's complicated 2: 6 years ago

My situation is similar to yours (it's complicated). Just thought I'd get this off my mind here since most of us have love issues. I've been with my gf for over 4 years ever since I was 17 and now I'm 21. We're both in college, but it seems like the steam in our relationship is running out. She loves me and I care for her, but I can't say I still love her as passionately as I once did. I started thinking about this girl that I used to know from high school, but we haven't talked since i started dating my gf. I haven't done anything yet, not unless me and my gf break up. However, my gf is very weak emotionally. She is my first love and the last thing I want to do is hurt her. The thing is I don't want to wait until we're married to relized she isn't the right one for me. Any advice is apreciated.


david  6 years ago

ive been on and off with my girlfriend for a few months, but i recently and quickly have fallen for one of my friends very old exs. i regret it, but i recently cheated on my gf with her. the worst part is, i didn't even feel bad about it. that's how i think i know i don't have feelings for my girlfriend and am starting to fall for this girl.the problem is idk how the other girl feels about me, she has said she loves talking to me, but il give it a few more days and try to talk to her about it. and she if she feels the same way. she can give me so much for then wat my girlfriend gives me. ughh.feel like sucha asshole, but i cant help it when i fall for someone =/


Michael 6 years ago

Wow, this really is a pain. Guys, girls, boyfriend, girlfriend, all the same shit really. I'm 20 and I've been dating this guy for the past 3 years. So to those who have done this, there's a reason why people clap for us when we tell them. He's great and a wonderful guy. He annoys me and I want to kill him sometimes, but you know, it happens. I can totally see us together settling down and all that good stuff because he is a great guy. But am I just being practical? I feel ok in the relationship, but that's the problem, it's just ok. Ok is ok, not good or happy. I told him we're in our 20's and we should expand our horizons, we both agree we need to grow mentally, emotionally, and sexually. I mean, I think people should date before they can coherently make the decision of "I wanna be with you for the rest of my life." But I've known for a while that he doesn't give me some essential things I need from a partner. Meanwhile I have this good friend who just broke up with his boyfriend and I can definitely feel the mutual interest. But I would feel like an asshole leaving my bf for this guy especially since we both need time to get over our first loves. I feel like I've been dragging out this relationship for a while, and it's all because he loves me and I don't want to let him go because we're comfortable. And even if I do, I still need time to deal with my feelings after a 3-year relationship, and so does this other guy. Because if we just jump into it, it'll be a disaster.


Alvin The Chipmunk 6 years ago

Can you be inlove with someone. And at the same time love someone else almost the same way?


Nicole  6 years ago

I am 20 and in this situation right now! I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half off and on now. I found out that he was smoking weed and I didn't like that and ended up breaking up with him and venting to my sister and her husband! We ended up talking again and are unofficially datig at the moment. Now there is this guy who I met my freshman year of college and have always liked and wanted to be with. He wasn't ready for a relationship as a freshman but now he is persuing me. He is a great Christian guy and I have a ton of fun with him! I actually lied to my current boyfriend so I could go to church with the new guy/ long time crush! My family doesn't like my current boyfriend and I know that they would love this new guy! I get butterflies everytime I see him and he takes my breath away! The guy I'm with is fun but I feel like were just going through the motions and there isn't much excitement! What should I do? I really like the new guy and want to be with him but I hate hurting people! And what if the new guy first work out and I was supposed to be with my current boyfriend...though I don't think my family will ever accept him! Please help!!


LDT relation 6 years ago

ok here's the deal.. ive been goin out with my girl for like 3 years already.. ive been with her for a year and a month before i moved to the united states.. were still in touch with each other and still have affections. however due to a different time interval like mornin here and evernin there and also her schedule makes her pretyy much busy.

she only has time for me to give msgs on fb or sumthimes she gives it like once every 2 days becoz of studies. i personally believe her and don't doubt her about her actions considerin the fact that she cheated on me 5 months after we started goin out. so yeah i survived 2 years of long distance relationship and we still talk like on saturdays on skype. however i just met this girl. younger than me and she is a pretty girl and mature about things. she makes me laugh and i started flirtin with her knowing that this will lead her to like me back. the thing is that she knows that i have a girl and i don't know if I should keep this up.

even though that i know this will lead to an inevitable chaotic mix-up.. i still talk to her. i think she likes me and most of her friends say that if i were single she might go out with me. so what shud i do? i wont be seein my Long distance partner for 3 more years or so. i NEED advice. every help is appreciated!


ashley 6 years ago

hi my name is ashley i am 19 n i av been with my partner (21) for 17mounths but recenlty we have been arguing a lot to the point where at the moment he is living with his dad and even though i know i still love him i am starting to get feelins for two other people and i know that they don't feel hte same way but i cant help the way i feel, i have never cheated on any one and i don't intend to start now i just don't know what to do any more over the past few days since he has been at his dads house i miss him like crazy but it hs also given me a lot of time to think and i just don't know if we will end up arguing if/when he comes home

please some one help me before i make the bigest mistake of my life


M - I hate this feeling. 6 years ago

Hi. I am glad I came upon this site because I really don't have anywhere else to turn to. I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years with my current boyfriend. To say none the least, its been full of drama, mistrust, and heartbreak. When it was good, it was really good. This was my first real relationship and for the first two years, I was completely in love with him but we fought all the time. About 8 months ago, we got in a bad fight and he broke up with me. (He has broken up with me on my birthday and on numerous occasions). Of coarse, we got back together the next day. About 2 months after, he told me the night be broke up with me he got drunk and had sex with another girl. Even around this time, I was confused if I wanted to be with him anymore, and when he told me I was completely heartbroken but I still took him back. I guess it was for security, I have been used to him for so long now. After this, he changed 100%. I knew he felt guilty and truly sorry for it, he changed his whole life around (friends, smoking, everything). But then the tables started turning, and he become obsessed with me... Always wanting to be with me and hanging out, always wanting to talk, he constantly makes it known that "I am the only one in his life that he has" and it puts a big strain on me because about 3 weeks ago I met the most amazing guy ever. We met at my new job, started talking here and there and I just went ahead and took his number and texted him. After that, we talked constantly. It is the most amazing feeling, we have so much in common. I can talk to him for hours without getting annoyed or getting off the phone, he is so sensual and caring.

I am in a big dilemma because my boyfriend and I are planning on signing a lease in just two days. I do not believe I am in love with my boyfriend, but I care about him just because we have both made mistakes to hurt each other and he is still my best friend, I can talk to him about anything. I told this guy my situation, and he says he does not want to get in the way of anything and be a "homewrecker", but the thing is, I WANT to talk to him. We hung out last night and watched a movie and cuddled and the I got amazing feelings. He seems to understand everything about my emotions... I feel like he is a soulmate. He is so caring and gentle with me but in all the right ways, he has a beautiul soul. I find myself just wanting to talk to him more and see him more. I don't know what to do, I am scared to leave my boyfriend because of the security and stability (we are also going to Mexico, $2000 cost). I am just not happy, I constantly want my boyfriend to leave me alone, give me my space, he is so emotional it drives me crazy. What do I do... I don't know. I am scared to talk to anyone about this. I have told my boyfriend about him and I don't want to hurt him so Id rather have him know the truth. But all he does is cry, and beg that I don't leave him. I cant stand the thought of hurting anyone... Oh god, please help me.


karen 6 years ago

Hi my names karen, ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years, at first it was good, until i found out he kept lyin. He neva cheated, but it was the fact he would lie to me to my face, about were he'd been and other stuff. we started arguing everyday. after a while i started to trust him again, but he started bein controlling and jealous with me. He always finds a way of makin me feel like im in the rong and get me to do wat he wants.

he broke up with me twice, and told me it was because i wasn’t happy, we got back togetha,but we started arguin again everyday. hes 17 and so am I, but hes very immature, he sulks when he doesnt get hes own way and always finds somethin to loose hes temper about, but im not sayin im perfect. The second time he broke up with me, is because I had a bad argument with my family, which involved him. After 3 weeks he asked me bak out, although I wanted to be back with him, I didn’t.

I started talking to a boy who i use to go school with. ive met him a few times through friends. he got my email and we started talking and textin, we was so similar and could talk for 7 hours and never get bored, i could be myself with him. i started to like him a lot but thought i LOVE my ex boyfriend and i LIKE this boy, I thought I ‘needed’ him, he was my first serious boyfriend. so i got back with him, me and the other boy drifted apart, I tried to forget about him because I had a bf. when i got back with my boyfriend at first i thought WOW maybe for the first time its goin to be different, he was perfect. but then obviously the arguing started agen, and hes lies.

the last 4 months me and this boy have got close again, at first i didn't feel the need to tell the boy that im back with my boyfriend, as i thought it was only friendly and was never involved into the conversation. until my feelings got stronger for him, and he told me he relly likes me, i speak to him everyday by text or email, i no im a hypocrite for complainin about my boyfriend. but im myself with this other boy, he keeps askin me to meet up with him, and i want to, but i no i cant do that to my boyfriend. instead I have to make excuses. I don’t know if im stayin in the relationship because i don't want to hurt him, because im so use to HIM that i don't wanna let go and coz if I saw him with someone else, I no how bad it wuld hurt me, but i no that's selfish. And its not easy wen I have to see my boyfriend most days. i feel like this other boy is my soul mate, but i don't no how to tell him ive got a boyfriend, he will hate me and think im a liar.I would rather tell him myself instead of him finding out from someone else, but I don’t know how to. i no after all of that this sounds hard to believe, but i do love my boyfriend, when were good, were REALY good, but that's hardly ever. im sick of cryin everyday over arguments.but I no im doin rong to both boys.

I no im young, but I have noone to talk to, and I don’t know wat to do because I don’t want to end up regrettin my choice.


A123 6 years ago

To karen:

I think it is obvious that you have been together with your boyfriend for a long time and now that you met someone new, you get that feeling of falling in love once again. If you decide to go for the new guy, your new relationship may end up the same way as your current relationship in 3 years.

Personally I think you are young and should date more people so when you're ready to get marry, you know what you want in your soul-mate. You are scare that you will hurt your boyfriend, but I can tell you that if you no longer love him: the right thing to do is to let him know so he can let you go and find someone else. If you do decide to take this route, just make sure the guy you're going for will treat you right. Good luck.

To M:

I know it's scary to get out of your comfort zone after so many years, but I don't think it's fair to you or your bf to be together if one of you are no longer in love with the other. You should find a time where you can be by yourself and really think about who is it that you LOVE. Who is it that you want to be there for when they are sick? Who do you want to be there for your when you are sick? Also will they be able to be there for you when you're sick.

I know it's hard to tell your emotions apart when you feel really passionate about someone, but try not to get confuse between passion and love. Passion is only a part of love, it may pass over very quickly. I hope that you have the courage to go for the one that you love, whether if it's your current bf or someone else.


Grace 6 years ago

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years on Thursday, for the first time since I've known him I find myself attracted to someonelse I barely know at work. I think more about the next time Ill see them at work and how I could flirt with them than my 2 year anniversary Thursday. I feel terrible. To add to it, the person I kinda like has a serious girlfriend too. So I don't understand how this is all happening. I feel like I'm in highschool again. I never realized how dissapointed I was in my relationship until this happened. I love my boyfriend, I am so grateful to have him in my life but: I'm changing. He isn't. I don't think this person at work will change anything in my life, he isn't a solution. He just made me feel special. I walk around work all day smiling because the moment I don't, he wants to know why I'm not smiling.


Courtney Stratton 6 years ago

I just recently finished my 3rd year of college. I have been an RA for two years now, and at the beginning of this year I fell in love with one of my coworkers. It didn't work out, feelings were hurt, and I ended up dating his best friend. As you can imagine, things got pretty nasty for a while, because I was dating his best friend and he still had feelings for me.

Well, the school year just ended, and I am still dating the best friend. He and I have been dating for 8 months now. It's a nice relationship, he is the sweetest guy ever and never has much to argue about. We don't really fight, we are complacent. Nothing ever changes, and our relationship isn't growing. We are like two best friends stuck together as boyfriend and girlfriend. I love him, but I know I want something with a deeper connection. He has never dated before (I am 21, he is 20) and it makes our relationship very juvenile (in my opinion). Sometimes it is cute, or endearing, but most of the time it is just frustrating because I feel like our relationship is one sided. When we try to talk about things, nothing happens. I do all of the talking because he is too afraid to have opinions. His family, is very sweet, but they treat him like he's 10. He lets them, because he doesn't know any different and I think it is only reinforcing his immature perspective of life and his inability to progress. We have discussed the possibility that our relationship may have an "expiration date" before, when I first realized that it was going to be hard for it to develop and mature, because he is not to that point in his life yet.

Now, the original guy that I fell for (We'll call him Tom), has had feelings for me all along through these past 8 months. We went through a period of hating each other, (all three of us, really, but especially Tom and I) but the past few months have been very peaceful. He and I have been particularly close ever since the anger faded and my boyfriend has been okay with this for the most part. When the school year was ending, as RAs it was our job to close down the building (not my boyfriend, he has a different job not on campus). Of course, Tom and I ended up doing a lot of the tasks together because we would be allowed to pair up with a partner.

One day I went up to his dorm room to see if he was ready to go to dinner with the group, and he asked me "Are you still attracted to me?" I panicked. I didn't say anything at first, then I said "sure, I guess." We kind of joked about it for a few minutes, and he said that he was glad we hadn't dated and that he didn't think he'd ever want to date me now.

Later that night when I really thought about it, I poured my heart out in a letter about how even though I love and care for my boyfriend, I have strong feelings for Tom. I told him that I was sorry for all of the pain we had caused each other, and that I would always love him dearly no matter what, but it took me a while to figure that out. I didn't say I wanted to leave my boyfriend, just that I wanted him to know the truth.

He texted me back later after he found the letter and told me that he was lying to himself so as not to feel guilty when he said he wouldn't want to date me. He reassured me that he does care for my boyfriend still, and that he doesn't want to hurt him, but that he does love and care for me very much. He said that my letter washed away all of the negative feelings he had ever had towards me when we were angry and that he loved me more than ever. We left it at that and continued to hang out normally. On the last day of the Housing contract, all of the RAs get together and have a banquet. This is my last year in Housing because I'm moving on with my life, and Tom knew this. We went as "friend dates" to the banquet and were both dressed very nicely together. We had a good time, and then the sadness sunk in that we would be parting ways soon. (Not just he and I, but several RAs who are not returning next year)

I was a little melancholy and ended up in his dorm room afterwards to chat about the end of the year and how different it will be next year. We hugged and talked, then started watching a movie. My boyfriend was busy for the night so it was just the two of us. Next thing we know, we are petting each other (not in a sexual way, it was very sentimental), holding hands, lacing fingers, caressing each other's arms and playing with each other's hair. We both kissed each others hands and wrists. I knew we shouldn't be touching like this (and of course so did he) but I was so caught up. My boyfriend and I are never like that...it is never that sensual or passionate. We almost kissed, but we stopped. Not that it makes it much better, but we didn't kiss, and we didn't stay sitting so close together after that. Things got awkward, but we resolved the conflict the next day.

He doesn't want to hurt his best friend, my boyfriend, but he said he does still want to be with me...I told him that he doesn't need to worry, I'm not going to leave my boyfriend and expect Tom to date me the following week. Tom lives several hours away from my boyfriend and I during the summer and he leaves tomorrow. We have both expressed the fact that we will think about each other every day. I know that I have to end it with my boyfriend before next fall, because it is not fair to lead him on believing that I am in love with him when really I just love him like a brother or best friend. I don't want to hurt him, but I know I will have to or the hurt he will feel later will be so much worse. It has to be done before we reach the one year mark for sure, or it will feel so much more painful (in my experience I find that after the one year mark, it gets harder and harder).

I know that when Tom comes back, if I'm not in a relationship, things will probably be back to square one again...it's so crazy. I never thought I would want to be with him in the first place, and definitely not a second time around. Things have run full circle. I realize that I must truly love him. I don't think he is more attractive than my boyfriend physically, I just know that I feel more vulnerable, more exposed, more in tune with him when we are together. I feel like he and I understand each other and have an amazing chemistry. Tom lives near the beach and my boyfriend and I are scheduled to be visiting him towards the end of the summer together and then all of us driving back to our college together after the week of beach vacation at Tom's place. I wonder if my boyfriend and I will really be making that trip together. The hardest part of this is that my boyfriend and I (though we have no intentions of marriage at this point) are living together in a small apartment.

I know that his heart will be broken no matter how easily I let him down. He is not an idiot, I know he is at least aware of two things... 1) That Tom still has feelings for me....and 2) he knows that I am currently in a rather complacent mood towards are relationship and that I have grown restless.

Please contact me by way of facebook message if you would like with any advice. No hate messages about how I'm a bitchy girlfriend please. I'm only trying to follow my heart, but also make the right decision. Being in love only comes around a few times in life. You can love someone by choice, but who you fall IN love with, when it is not your choice at all, that is special.

Or email me at courtneynstratton@gmail


Ashley 6 years ago

this is like my situation...except i've been with my boyfriend for like 2 years, but he's always hanging around this other girl and texting her all the time and everything and when i ask about what or something he'll scorn at me and be like "why do you need to know?!" and if i tell him that when he does that it hurts my feelings he just goes off with her instead of talking it out like a man and then this kid that sits next to me in my english class told me he liked me and then and there i didn't feel the same but then as time went on and we kept talking during english and started IMing and texting i started falling for him...idk what to do i mean my bf is nice sometimes but most of the time i get mad at something he does while my friend always listens to me and tries to cheer me up =/ confused on what i should do and the fact that i've been with my boyfriend for 2 years is also something that makes me uncomfortable with leaving him, i think i've fallen into a rut and i cant get out of it, and i also don't know if my friend in english class will want a relationship with me if i do end up leaving my boyfriend it's so complicated =/ and then when you throw in my bestfriend who likes the kid in my english class talk about crazy!!


anonymous 6 years ago

i have been dating my boyfriend for two and a half years now and our relationship has been a really good one, were practically best friends, everything we do together is great even the sex is fucking awesome. it has only been recently that my boyfriend and i have been having arguments here and there, he would even threaten to break up with me everytime! when he finally called it off with me i was devastated. i didn't know what to do until a new friend of mine started helping me cheer up and kind of acting on impulse we kind of hooked up... he is very different from my boyfriend and the first day we met i felt this connection with him and he said he felt the same way. i felt it wrong but i was single after all. i was doing nothing wrong, i only looking for the bit of comfort to help me through. and this guy did a pretty damn good job of comforting me. but guess who should up at my house the very next day..my boyfriend or ex now. he came apologizing saying that he was acting stupid and he would change. i still love my boyfriend very much and totally fell for him all over again. now he's being the most sweetest, sincere guy like the first time we met. now here's the complication: my boyfriend and I are officially back together.the other guy? im thinking about him often, we talk a lot still and i fear that i might have feelings for this guy. he knows were back together but he would still try to sneak kisses to me. and they are pretty hard to resist. i am pretty much fucked..


NickssH.  6 years ago

Hi im Nicole ,i am in a very similar situation as all of you our there. Me and my boyfriend Gavin have been together for not that long but things are good between us. but recently we are getting into small fights and sometimes it feels like im the one trying to make it work but i know he loves me very much which makes things worse bc couple months back i met this amazing guy and we clicked right away, and in about couple of days we became close,we are always calling , texting , chatting late night hes funny , caring super nice and we get along great , im very comfortable with him we are always doing fun things together and we talk about everything which i cant do with my current bf . He asked me on a friendly date and without thinking i said yes, i never cheated on anyone and don't plan to start but i cant help but think that theres something there but i know its wrong. I like Gavin very much and don't want to hurt him but at the same time im always thinking about the other guy , sometimes i wish i could be like that with my bf. I don't know if its worth breaking up with gavin for a recent close friend. HELP PLEASE. thank you


Confused-girl 6 years ago

wow! first i thaught that im the only person in the world with this problem but obviously im wrong...i fell in love with a guy who already has a girlfriend in another country (i didn't know this when I fell for him and my feelings grew)...when i found out i was heart-broken nd i knew he is a comitted guy so things will never work out...so i thaught why not just be friends and that's exactly what happened...we became really close friends and were always there for eachother...but obviously my feelings grew for him and he developed feelings for me too....one day things happened nd i admitted i had feelings for him and he did the same...we ended up kissing a couple of times but he still says that he cant leave his girl hanging nd shes the one hes going 2 go wid even though he still has feelings for me nd he made me promise that im going 2 try my hardest to get over him.....its such a sad situation...my first love, my first kiss, and my first heart-break-its painful :(


sha 6 years ago

hi jen, i was felt the same after more than one year after u post ur comments here. Im not sure whether u still will look on my comments as my situation also same now here.. i felt the same as how u was went thru and now i want to know how u overcome it.... in ur case, ur love was 2 years but mine was 7 years. after 7 years, i was fall again wit the other guy who i didn't told him yet caused i know him as a fren only i i don't want he stop mingling wit me if i said that i have feeling on him... but i cant stop thinking of him....he always in my mind, even i forgot to cal n talked wit me bf but not him.... im little sure that he also got feeling on me from they way he being wit me.... he will cal me when the time i miss him a lot...but he abit egotist, he wants me to say out everything at first place.... how do u overcome ur prob so that i might have some idea or others pls help me....im in dilemma...


sad girl 6 years ago

in my case, my boyfriend did leave me for another girl.. my world turned upside down.. I never see it coming & it happened in a way I NEVER imagined it to be.. so painful.. felt like he left me almost lifeless..

BUT.. what made it easier (well, not easy) to move is ACCEPTANCE.. I learned that I can never question him for falling in love with somebody else.. there must be something wrong in me but not a reason for me to look down on myself.. I just told myself like "if that's your choice, if that's what you want then be it".. I can never question him or whatever because it wont make any difference anymore..

It's never easy but rather than keeping hatred or anger because of what he did, I just let him go...

until now, I feel like I waited to long to have him & now, he was taken by someone else just a snap..

old school but everything happens for a reason.. I'm thankful now that it happened as early.. not right to say but I'd rather have him do it NOW than later.. the pain is the same anyway.. it's just a matter of accepting that at some point, we lose control of what's happening to us.. that every1 has his or her own choice & decision to make..i don't know but if he happen to find his better half, I will too.. In God's perfect time


trecia. 6 years ago

wow this is really werid reading this and it sucks because im in this situation right now.

I don't know how to deal with it.

I know i love my boyfriend and it sucks to feel this way trust me i really didn't go out there and look for someone else to fall for.

Ugh.

I've only been with my guy for 2 month and it feels way longer.

i have known the othre guy for a year now and i just started falling for him because hes growing up and getting more mature i mean.

but i spent a whole day with him and his family and ever sonce then i cant get him out of my head even when im with my boyfriend.

He is a year younger than me and im afraid if i do break up with him something will go bad and i just don't want to hurt another person.

I don't Know what to do guyss! :(

Please help!.


tom 6 years ago

Dear Everyone,

My girlfriend got pregnant and I married her but I was not in love with her so we live a family life for a few years and had another child. I didn't want to be with her anymore as I was living in a lie, so I meet someone else, and my divorced me and I hardly saw my kids, the new relationship didn't work out either, it was not a strong relationship because I was attached to the kids, but it all went wrong for my kids, my ex-wife was a bad mother, and the kids hated her and missing me. It was so hard. My point here is don't stay with someone if you don't love them from your heart because sooner or later, it will hurt them, sooner or later you will leave, sooner or later you will not be able to cope. Stay in touch with the child, and demand for right of access to your child but you don't have to marry the mother if you feel you will not be abel to be faithful to her, as it would hurt everyone in the end. Be true to your heart. Don't make the mistake of marrying now and only to be divorced in a few years time.

Be wise!


tom 6 years ago

Dear Everyone,

My girlfriend got pregnant and I married her but I was not in love with her so we live a family life for a few years and had another child. I didn't want to be with her anymore as I was living in a lie, so I meet someone else, and my divorced me and I hardly saw my kids, the new relationship didn't work out either, it was not a strong relationship because I was attached to the kids, but it all went wrong for my kids, my ex-wife was a bad mother, and the kids hated her and missing me. It was so hard. My point here is don't stay with someone if you don't love them from your heart because sooner or later, it will hurt them, sooner or later you will leave, sooner or later you will not be able to cope. Stay in touch with your child, and demand for right of access to your child but you don't have to marry the father or mother if you feel you will not be abel to be faithful to him or her, as it would hurt everyone in the end. Be true to your heart. Don't make the mistake of marrying now and only to be divorced and leave in a few years time.

Be wise! Don't get a girl pregnant. It is a big responsibility for your both!!


angie 6 years ago

HELP!!!!

ive a boyfren and we r seeing eachother for 1.5 years.i love him and would like to marry him.but we are caught in a very long distance relationship.i live in india and he is in london.i stay alone and work a lot.al we do is talk over the phone.

but 3 months back i met this guy...i know him him for the past 2 years but we got really friendly within this 3 months.we do things like al the couple does.but the problem is is in a living relationship for the past 2 years.he does every possible thing to be with me.and i see him more then happy when he is with me.as we work in the same company people has started talking bout us.

last week his girfriend caught a picture of us kissin eachother and she had confronted that to me.which did not stop us from meeting each other.i do feel guilty but i love being with him and miss him when he is not around.iam so confused right now,because iam cheating on my pather and he is doin the same to his girl.i don't know how far this can lead to...but i really need some good suggestion for me to work on this whole thing.

please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


6 years ago

I commented about my sitauation about 5 weeks ago. This is one of the hardest things I have gone through, if not the hardest. I had to move in with my boyfriend since we signed a lease, and after than things between me and my "other guy" got very intense, very quickly. Yesterday, he told me he couldn't talk to me anymore. It was just too hard on him. I am very upset. We told each other we loved each other. Everything between him and I spun into intense, crazy, passionate energy. I had an affair, I cheated. But the sad thing is, I don't regret what I did. This guy purely made me enjoy myself... He had immense passion for me Ive never seen another man have.

I did tell my boyfriend. I told him everything. He still wants to be with me. Although deep down I don't regret what I did, I told him the truth. It felt much better for me because I felt as if I wasn't playing him like a fool and acting like everything was great between us, I told him the truth and its up to him whether he wants to make it work. I don't really, but I am stuck in this situation of living with him. I see him as a best friend now. I don't like having sex with him, I never want to. We barely do. I cant help that I have strong emotions of those for someone else.

Eh, moral of my story is... this game isn't easy to play. Its not easy to like/love two different people in two different ways and choose between them. I couldn't do it. My guilt pushed me to stay with my boyfriend but my passion pushed me to the other guy.

In the end, my guilt took over me... and the other guy couldn't be put through it.

I can already say I miss him and everything about him.

But now I have to move forward with this experience.

If you are in this sitation, think of the person who you cant live without.

Ultimately, I know everything played out the way it was supposed to. Big learning lesson for us all.

CHOOSE THE ONE YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT.


Logos 6 years ago

I myself am in a s**tstorm.

I've been dating my gf for a year and a half now and a few days ago I met someone...

One of the biggest dilemmas I have ever dealt with. I do not know what to do. When my gf comes over to see, I can't even hold a conversation. I can't stop thinking about the other girl.

The fact that how awful this would make me feel if my gf is having anything remotely similar is not helping the situation.

I tired staying away from the other girl to forget about her but it's not working. I spend most of my time at work looking outside to see if she is going to come visit me.

I don't know what happened or how it happened. But the fact of the matter is that this gut feeling is not going away.

I did the pro/con comparison, and I also put in quite a few hours of abstract thinking to solve the issue. Nothing is really helping.

The idea of losing my gf scares me and the idea of not seeing this new girl ever again upsets me.


anl 6 years ago

I'm glad i'm not alone here.. basically the same situation. I'm 18, have been dating my boyfriend for six months. He is the most caring and considerate person i've ever met, and I can tell that he really loves me a lot. There really is no problem with our relationship; we still skype regularly. I feel the same towards him, but because of the summer holidays, my boyfriend and I are doing long distance (different continents..) ..we'll be seeing each other soon enough, which is the only comfort I have right now.

But thing is, I have a friend whom i've been talking to for four years. We live in the same country(I go to college in a different country), I'm very close to him, and he's liked me all this time, but he has the habit of breaking it off whenever things might start to develop.. and I don't blame him, since i'd say although we're great friends, we're not really "compatible" in the romantic way, because we'll have to do long distance, at least until college is over...

but, since he's finally gotten himself into a top university, he has begun paying more attention to me. And this time, he's decided that he won't let me go back again without any developments in the relationship. Turns out he was serious; we've been on three "dates" so far... and i've begun to realize that I think about him a lot, when I should really be thinking about my boyfriend...

am I falling for him? The horrible thing is, now he considers us as "dating." I know that i'm being so evil, but I just can't bring myself to tell him that i've already got a boyfriend back in the states...

As bad as i feel for the childhood friend, I feel way worse for my boyfriend... he cares about me soooo much, and I feel like crying when he skypes me, asking me how my day was, when all the while i was out with another guy... we've never done anything exactly like a couple, but just being out with him alone and having feelings for him makes me think that I am seriously cheating on my boyfriend.

I've already told the friend that I don't want anything serious, but when we're together, I can't help feeling the "spark" of excitement that's been wearing off with my boyfriend... should I "man up" and tell the friend that I already have a boyfriend?


... 6 years ago

It's not like I don't know what to do. More like, how the heck can I get the guts to do what i'm supposed to do?


natalie 6 years ago

i've completely and utterly fallen for this guy. however, he is 'taken', his girlfriend is almost too nice and completely oblivious to this situation. i told him a couple of weeks ago and he said he has really strong feelings for me aswell. he asked me to wait a few months, as he's going away with a massive group of mates including her and he's paid etc. but i don't know if mentally i can just 'wait' it's been hurting so much for the past 5 months and i never used to be so melancholic.. i mentioned not speaking for a while and he got pretty hurt, i just have no idea what to do.


Eamon 6 years ago

I have a girlfriend and I lover and all, but her mate and my mate also I find myself more attracted to her, I prefer texting her and talking too her and being around her, but the thing is my current girlfriend I have been with for 8 months but her mate I feel in love with seven years ago but I never told her. Now that we are good mates I have spent a lot of time around her and the feelings I have for get keep getting stronger n stronger, but I don't want to get things with my girl friends with her formal coming up and all, just dunno what to do really, I sat and red through the article above and another and it makes it hard to know what you wanna do, plus I dunno if the other girl feels the same, but I have to tell her some way would it be wrong if I told her when I'm still seeing my girlfriend

Could someone please help me

eamon_873@hotmail.com that's my email someone help me through that will be much appreciated


unknown 6 years ago

im on the same boat i have a girlfriend of 5 months and were ready to move in together but i just recently found a girl on facebook taht i like and shes so much more me ugh so confused im not going to like over type here sense this is and old post lol


Tina 6 years ago

So I've been with my boyfriend nearly 3 months now, before last April we had a year and a half relationship going on. We parted and he came back into my life and it was like it was supposed to happen, I was so accustomed to his love and care that I let him into my life again but now I'm realizing that I don't think I can love him, or at least not yet.

The thing that bugs me is that I like this guy, its more of a crush. We talked like twice before and he's been a looooong time ex of mine. I haven't had any communication with him since my current boyfriend and I started dating but I'm always checking his facebook and online blogs. I like him because he's smart, cute, tall, and so funny and comforting. he's such a great guy and i see things in him that I don't in my boyfriend. I feel so confused and I like my boyfriend and I'm afraid of letting him go but I'm also afraid of being stuck in this relationship and never being extremely happy with someone else. What if I realize that my boyfriend is the person I should've stayed with later on? What if I realize that I never found the right guy because I was afraid of letting go of my current boyfriend?

And now that this ex of mine is going to college I cant help but think what will become of him and if he ever thought of me the same way I do, which is most likely a no but still.

Comments anyone?


other women 6 years ago

well im in a different situation. right now im single and really want a relationship right now. been looking but it seems no one is fitting the bill... except this one guy. i been knowing him for 3 years in college but we always just been friends... we r currently lovers (and been for 5 months going on 6) but he is in a relationship. its one of those long term relationships (been together a few years), but also long distance (always been that way i was told). they also plan on getting married but from speaking with him, i truly think he just settling (this was something i thought before the feelings came)... we r attracted in every way. its almost like we were married in a past lifetime. i mean the sex is mind blowing too... so what's the problem right?? well the problem is even though i know he likes me and knows i like him, bc him and his current "fiancé" been together for so long, he not just gonna pop up and leave her. even the families know each other well. there relationship not perfect but then again who's really is? im not a home-wrecker but at the same time, why "deal" with someone for the rest of your life when u can have much more with someone else? i think he just don't wanna step away from sometime he put so much time and effort into... but then i think back to my ex, and how i didn't wanna call it quicks for that same reason, yet it was the best thing i did for myself bc i didn't wanna "deal" with him... i feel like u deal with asshole coworkers r a sucky waiter... not the person u wanna spend the rest of your life with... i want him so bad cause i know we r met to be together. is that wrong r maybe just stupid?? and its not just my happiness i care about but his also... i truly don't think he as happy as he want r should be. (sigh) idk want to do. wait on him to maybe pick me r find someone else? i can wait but then the fall would just hurt more if i lose the waiting game. yet its so hard to let go when u have the love of your life in your arms everyday and they r not truly for u. *tear*


nat. 6 years ago

my current boyfriend and i have been together 4 times this being the 4th, we went out for 7 months in 2009 and in between that have been on and off. Although this has been happening i have also had other boyfriends of course not at the same time. Afetr my current boyfriend and i split up for the 3rd time i started dating this boy and we soon were boyfriend and girlfriend. I had known him for about a year at this point and i really enjoyed being with him, after about a month he was very nasty and we split up. Soon after this he went away on holiday and i went back to my current boyfriend again, i felt like i had missed him and that i was still in love with him. Even though i do love him, i don't know if i am in love with him anymore as i have been spending time with my ex again and the feelings are stil there, should i leave my current boyfriend and be with my ex because the sparkle has just faded with my current boyfriend ? HELP please... im 14 and i cant handle this.


confused ... 6 years ago

I seriously thought i was the only person with these feelings until i saw this page. I have been with my first and only boyfriend for a little more than 5 years now, ever since we were in high school. We are each others' first and did not expect this relationship to go so long but it did. Our families get along, i have met almost all his family members both here in the U.S. and outside the U.S. Everyone says we are practically married but the problem is that recently.. this year I started having feelings for my coworker. I pushed those feelings to the back of my mind thinking it is nothing but it has been coming back. I sat down with my best friend and we talked this over and i realized why. I am about to graduate from college but my boyfriend is not even in school. He has yet to start back at a JC this coming fall but all because I was pushing him to. He is a very nice and kind hearted kinda guy but he can be very immature especially when he is around his friends. He is not sweet at ALL... we can go days without him calling me. I used to call him so i guess he got used to it and now that i stopped he did too. he says it is cuz we always see each other but we only do at the end of the night when we both get off work or when i get out of school. He is the type that is extremely loyal to his friends and it had always been an issue since the beginning of our relationship. There is too much to say and I don't want to be typing an essay here so those are some of the problems we have. with my coworker he loves all the things i like to do, such as bowling, dancing, tennis, and etc. My boyfriend wants nothing to do with any of those things. Im trying to exercise and get back to shape because the both of us gained a lot of weight in college but he does not want to do it either, even though he brought the idea up first. With my coworker he is sweet, mellow, great conversation partner, shy yet outgoing. The problem is that I do not know if he feels the same way with me. Although he says sweet things to me and holds my hand (which i feel completely guilty of) when we go to clubs. My coworker would go bowling with me, teach me tennis, joke with me, we laugh so much together but with my boyfriend, I feel like im talking to a wall sometimes. He does not really respond to me when i talk to him and most of the time he seems happier when he is with his friends than with me. I pointed that out to him but he says being with me is a different kind of happiness.. which i don't understand.. The problem now is that he is starting to complain about me hanging out with my coworker a lot more and that he feels like my coworker is taking me away from him. But my question to him is that if he feels this way then why cant he start changing and do the things that we have already agreed on changing? I have never been a party girl, im always studious and hard working and the downside of that is that i never have fun. I always turn down going out with my friends because i want to make time for my boyfriend but he does otherwise.. Now i have just given up on sacrificing my time for him and I guess he does not feel good about that...I am stuck in a huge hole and I cannot get out of it!..... Im just going with the flow right now, not gonna do anything stupid but this can only go on for so long. It is driving me nuts.. I love my boyfriend but just like many others here.. I don't know if im IN love with him still.


Matty 6 years ago

This has happened to me too many times , i find if im with a girl more then a year the relationship gets boring and i go for someone else. i have cheated on a few people but i was honest about it after it. i just Love going out with a lot of girls in a small space of time and i start to wonder when it will stop an i will sette down with someone.


help me 6 years ago

I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half and he recently left for a vacation for a few nights. I had a chance to hangout with my friends and even go to a party, when I was out I felt like I missed being single and being able to have fun without being held back by a relationship. I'm 16 and my mom sometimes says me and my bf have to serouis of a relationship. We are together 24/7 and I sometimes feel like I'm missing out on my teenage life. When he was away I met another guy, and he seems to have strong feelings for me, I can't stop thinking about him and he is txting me all the time, I don't know what to do. I feel like I want to break it off with my bf now, before I hurt him and he can never forgive me. I feel like I might be loosing something big if I leave him, but I also may be loosing a greater chance of life if I stay with him, and putting myself in a confined situation. Please someone give me some advice?!


Layla  6 years ago

Oh my gosh i didn't realise how many people are in the same situation as me.

Ive been with my partner for 3 years, we have been living togeva for around 2 years. I do love him and know he loves me. Recently I went for a drink at my parents and and friend of theres was round with his brother, his brother and I know each other from wen we was at school, he has just got out long turm relationship.I have always liked this guy since i was really young in school but i never thourt i would ever have the chance with him. But he has recently got in touch with me and has told me how much he likes me, i was over the moon knowing he liked me i could not belive my luck. But my head is so much in a mess i don't not want to hurt my boyfriend coz hes the man i love but if i am feeling things for thius new guy maybe im not as happy as i should be in my relationship. If i was to leave my BF i would lose my house everything my routine of life my other part of the family (his family) but why am i feeling these feelings for this new guy if im happyest that im ment to be please someone help me im so stuck x


Michelle 6 years ago

Wow! I'm so glad I'm not the only one to speak publicly of this.

If someone kind could help me with some advice, I would really appreciate it. Thanks guys.

I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year, but the sad thing is, we both know we're not the "one" for eachother. We are like best friends, we spend every day together, we work together, he sleeps over every night, etc etc. However, we fight too much over stupid things, and I know that it's only a matter of time before one of us gets fed up with the b/s and breaks it off. There is not much trust in the relationship, more so on his part with me, and I hate it.

So here's the other guy. please don't judge harshly on this part, i'll try to explain the best i can. He lives about 2,000 miles away from me, and i've never met him. But ever since I started talking to him online when I was 13, we've shared this incredible connection i can not simply explain. We talked on msn every day for a few years, talked on the phone, shared everything and I can actually say I was in love with this man and still am. We went out of touch for 3 years, and now I'm almost 21, he's 23, and I found him on facebook and now we're texting and talking again, and talking about meeting up one day. However, he has a g/f that he's been seeing for a year now, and I know for a fact, that if both of us were single, we would meet and we would be together. I think that if I ever got ahold of him, I don't think I could ever let him go. He is an incredibly genuine person, we share a lot in common and he makes me laugh and I just always keep thinking about him and really do think that the reason why it never worked out with another other guy is because I'm destined to be with him. I know its incredibly hard to grasp the fact that I'm totally in love with someone who I've never met, but I feel as if I already know everything about him that needs to be known. I told him I have feelings for him, he told me feels the same, but we both still keep holding on to this notion that one day, when we're both single, that we'll meet. I can't stop thinking about him, and thinking about kissing him, and it makes me so excited to even think about meeting him and being able to put my arms around him. But will the day come? It makes me so sad to think we'll never meet. I have to meet this man. But what about my b/f now? Do I wait for it to end naturally? I can't do anything about this guy right now, he is too far away and taken, all I can do is talk to him, and hide it from my b/f. Help please?!?!


diane 6 years ago

@ Michelle

i have the same exact thing going on like you! It sad :(, i dont know what to do.


Kelly 6 years ago

Hi,

I am with a guy right now. Next month will be our 3 year anniversary. The day I met my bf, all my dreams had come true. "Finally" I had found a guy that would treat me like a princess and love me the way I want to be loved. As much as I love my boyfriend, I find that we are starting to drift apart and I am finally begniing to relaize just how different that we really are. I am an outdoors type of girl that likes to fish, go to the beach, camp... you name it, if its outdoors, i love it. On the other hand my bf is more of an indoors type of guy that likes to play on his paino and write music. Everytime I ask him to do the things I like to do, he is never up for it, so it puts a big gap in our relationship. I feel like besides us being in love, that we really don't have too much in common. Recently, I met this guy who is friends with one of my girl "friends." He is super tall, muscular, baby blue eyes, and had a HUGE sense of humor just like me. Everytime we are together I get starry eyed and we are constantly laughing, which is something I havent felt in a long time. everytime we hang out we flirt and I feel this strong urge to kiss him and always wanting to be right by him. It drives me insane. Why am I feeling like this? Am I suppost to be having these feelings, is it normal? I love my boyfriend but I feel so confused. Seriously, what should I do before I ruin my relationship or my self respect?


Zachary 6 years ago

I've had this girlfriend for almost 2 years. A week ago I met this other girl at work, a customer, and I don't even know how it happened... we just clicked. I didn't think this would happen practically over night. I just don't know what to do. I was thinking me and this new girl could just hang out as friends for a while and in doing that I could get to know her better but everything's moving so fast. I don't want to hurt either of them. I don't know how I let this happen. I love my girlfriend, she's great, beautiful, super smart, caring. We just don't agree on things sometimes and we're both stubborn about it and fight and it stresses us both. This new girl is i don't even know. She seems smart, she's beautiful, she seems caring, she likes me a lot... and I don't even know why... I haven't done anything spectacular except be myself. She appreciates my humor while my girlfriend doesn't, which is a normal thing for us to fight about. New girl smokes, which I don't like, but like I said it just seems like we're clicking. I guess I'm A) scared to take the leap, and B) scared of hurting feelings. I know my girlfriend will absolutely hate me if I tell her I need a break or something like that. But I don't want to drag this out with new girl, hurt her, and be doing bad shit behind my girlfriends back. I don't even know how I let this happen. Can ANYBODY help me out with some advice???


jaz 6 years ago

I'm so confused..........I love my boy friend.He is with me for past 6 years.I can't hurt him, he is my life...

But now i met a guy in my office.First he looks very strange but after some time he became my friend he is so caring and he know how much i love my bf. Last week he proposed me and i realized that i also feel something for him.I can't hurt both.what can i do? Can anyone hlp me to find a solution??? Please


... 6 years ago

I've been with my girlfriend for over 2 years, we've been through sooo much together and stayed together through it all, i have had my doubts before but i've never been interested in anyone else before. we both went out with friends and i met this girl, we hit it off straight away and i felt such a strong connection, now i can't stop thinking about her. we've been talking, as friends, because i think it's one-sided and i'd would never want to deceive my girlfriend, this girl knows my girlfriend and doesn't seem like she'd try come between us but i am sooo confused, i don't know what to do. i think it's just a crush but i'm scared it's going to develop into something else and i have no idea how to deal with it. PLEASE HELP! x


malina 6 years ago

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. Hes my BEST friend. Hes a great guy and he treats me exceptionally well, but for the last few months theres a little doubt in my mind and i cant fully understand why Im having this doubt. I feel like something is missing but i cant figure out what exactly it is. Then now i recently met a guy whos a family friend and it was an instant attraction, hes older more mature, and I think about him all the time.. In all the 5 yrs ive been with my bf, i never even gave another guy a second thought...but this time it caught me by surprise. I feel so guilty inside for even having these feelings, i feel like im such a selfish human being. I'm so confused and I dont know what to do. I dont want to lead anyone on, but at the same time i cant make up my mind. I tried to get this new guy outta my head but I cant...Im constantly thinking about him and it drives me absolutely crazy. It hurts me so bad to know that I might hurt one of the people I care about the most especially when he's done nothing wrong to me. I cant even figure out what to do with this problem because ive never been in this situation before. Icant even sleep properly and Im really hard on myself over this, and i dont even know what is the first step i should take to deal with something like this! help!


Burn 6 years ago

I just turned 16, and I have a best friend who I've discovered has everything I could hope for in a guy. He's thoughtful and I have seen the best and worst of him. We finish each other's sentences and we totally understand each other. We have arguments from time to time, and I feel as if I am already in a relationship with him, though he moved across the US and I haven't seen him in so long.

I told him recently that I have strong feelings for him, and he took it well, though he doesn't feel the same way.

About 2 days ago I ran into a guy that is head over heels for me and reminds me of my best friend, so I'm dating him, in hope that he would be exactly like my best friend and so I can get my feelings right with him and not get hurt that he doesn't feel back.

Stupid me, my boyfriend is great, but he's not my best friend and we get in fights and I can barely understand him. I don't want to be with my boyfriend, I want to be with my best friend! What should I do?


Monique W. 6 years ago

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 & a half years. Honestly, he is the PERFECT boyfriend. We fell for each other fast and have talked about marriage a lot, and we both know what a commitment it is and are thinking logically about it. However, there is this guy I know. And I kinda like him. Not that I am sure I would want to date him, but it makes me think that I want to be single or in an open relationship. I feel like I need to go out there and live before I get too serious and settled. I want the best of both worlds. I really do feel as if I want to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend, but there is a part of me that thinks I should be going out and going out on dates and just being with friends as well. During the week, I work and have school, and he is hours away at work & I only see him on the weekends. Do I make any sense at all or am I just selfish and stupid. Also, I am about to be 21 and go to college. Signed, :(


kid a 6 years ago

Like everyone else here I googled this phrase because this is tearing me up like all of you. It's so good to read all your stories and know I'm not alone.

I've been with my gf for 1½ year. It was total magic at first, but she suffers from depression and sometimes she just doesn¨t have energy left for me because he has a hard time even conjuring up the will to stay alive. But on her good days we are a match made in heaven.

So for the past weeks she's been worse than ever and actually got taken into a mental care facility. When she was there I felt so lonely and abandoned even though I want to be the great boyfriend who's there for her when she needs me the most. Im basically all she has which is what scares me sometimes.

But I'm a needy person and when she doesnt have any energy left over to be sweet to me I get hurt even though I understand. So one night about two weeks ago I just felt so alone that I went to a social site and just wanted to find a girl to chat to that night.

Well I did. And I found someone that's really special. So I don't know that got into me but I started flirting with her. And I told her pretty early on I have a gf. She got sad but she kept on chatting with me. And now she's fallen for me it seems. And I get those little butterflies that I don't get with my gf when I think about that. And she's a really good person, she says she doesn't want to ruin anything and things like that. Which just makes it harder because now I feel like I'm leading her on. And yet I can¨t stop talking to her. And i think about her a lot.

I would never ever cheat. So I can't meet this girl in secret or anything, besides she's too good to use like that. But I know my gf is a great match for me, excapt she's ill. And if I left her, she would be so much worse off than she is now. And I don't want to have that on my conscience.

I guess another factor is that my gf is a bit overweight, and I always say that I think she is beautiful the way she is and I do think that. But I sepnd a lot of time fantasizing about thin girls. And of course this new girl is extremely fit physically. So I just let my mind wander too much.

This is tearing me up! I feel like such a total asshole but I'm not! I didn't want this to happen! :(


totallymessedup123 6 years ago

I've been with my boyfriend for a year and 3 months now. It started off a little bit weird as he is four years younger than me-at the time when this started happening he was 17 and i was 21.

i knew him from the same sports club we went to and we just started talking for some reason. he eventually told me how he felt and over time i gradually started to feel the same way. Nobody thought it would last as we were so different and because of the age gap-most assumed it was just a bit of fun.

Over a year on and people now see us as a proper couple down the club and everyone knows we're very happy.

However,there are times when he shows his age and can be a total arse. i'm not professing to be the perfect GF-far from it but there have been moments when it's felt like it should be coming close to an end.

not long after our one year mark, we somehow breached the topic of where this was all going and after it had been feeling for a while like something was missing i asked him if this was what he wanted-to cut it short, we broke up. i was gutted as i didn't want it to end and i loved so much.

The next day though he came back to me and said that he thinks he'd made the biggest mistake of his life and wanted to try again.......it had taken him to break up with me for him to realise what he actualy wanted.

Around the same time, another guy joined the club who i was coaching. he seemed friendly and was alot better than the others so he moved up quite quickly. He recently came to a party we were all at and drunkenly text me telling about his feelings for me......

It didn't hit me till then that i realised that i had feelings for him aswell. he told me that he wouldn't do anything about it unless i was single and he knows i wouldn't either.

we've text and messaged eachother quite alot and it's got quite serious as he now says that he loves me......and he has felt like this since the day he met me....

I love my boyfriend to bits and recently things have been getting better between us again which begs me to think is it worth risking throwing away something which i came so close to losing in the first place..........

no matter what i do i can't get this other guy out of my head but like him i dont want to go behind anyones back!

i have to hurt someone in this either way and i can't figure out what to do...........this other guy is alot older than me-im 22 and he's 30 but doesnt look it.

Both of them are amazing guys but i dont know how to face them both.......i cant bare to be without either of them but i can't have my cake and eat it can i!!!!

any advice please!!!!!!!!

good luck anyone in this situation!


Helpseeker045 6 years ago

Okay. I'm not a girl, I'm a guy. But i'm in the same situation, only in reverse. I've been dating this girl for almost 9 months. I love her, and she loves me. There are a couple things I don't like about her, and a few that I do. For the bad- she's very emotional (typical, but i think it's amplified due to her past), she's needy and likes to be spoiled to much, she's got a little extra fat, and she has back problems. On the up- she's more than beautiful, amazingly nice, sweet, kind hearted, and she trully loves me.

We've talked and we said we want to get married. We've wanted each other for the last 2 1/2 years. We dated for about a month before I had to move out of Omaha (where she lives) and to norfolk. I called her about 2 1/2 years later, and here we are now.

The problem- I've started to like someone else. Idk if this is just a phase, or something long lasting. Its been about a week and a half and my feelings haven't changed. I've told my gf about it, and she said she didn't want me talking to her anymore to make the feelings go away. I stopped. Because I talked to the girl I like about how I like her, and she said she didn't feel the same way and she wants to be friends but we should stop talking so nothing happens.

To make things worse, the girl I like, is my gf's best friend. Meaning, even if I broke up with my gf to date her bff, nothing would prolly happen because her bff would be to pissed at me.

But I can't stop thinking about her.

I've thought about it, and asked myself why I like her. The answer? Because my gf is nothing like the girl I dreampt I would fall in love with. I thought I would fall in love with someone very tomboy (my gf cries at the sight of spiders), midly outgoing (she's super shy), sport loving (can't because of her back problem, and she hates games), and very tough (My gf breaks down about every 2 weeks).

I don't know much about her bff, but that doesn't stop me from wanting her.

I don't want to break up because with my gf its almost a for sure future. And with my tender heart, idk if I could stand anymore heartache. But at the same time, i'm having doubts about whether it was her I longed for over those two years, or if it was just someone that would love me for me.

I don't know where to go from here.

Please, if your a christian, pray for me!!

And if you can, I'll check back to this website and see if someone responded to help me. Idk what to do.

Please help!!


nariah :( 6 years ago

uh..i am in a relationship have been for 7 months..almost..but i am only in ninth grade..im 14..my boyfriend isnt the best looking..but i do care for him alot..he makes me smile and everything..but hes immature..and there is this guy in my drama class who is mature cute and sweet..and a christian like me and my curent bf says he is but doesnt go to church or anything..im still young and not sure what to do..the other guy is sweet and strong but again is not afor sure thing..but my boyfriend is emotional and crys about everything..idk...

please pray for me and helpseeker045... if i were you i would tell my gf that you love her but your not inlove with her..explain y and tell her that you cant be together anymore... then have no contact for a while until the wounds heal over...i guess maybe i need to follow the same advice..its just i dont want to break his heart either and i really REALLY care for him... this makes me sad :(


Confused 6 years ago

I have been in a relationship for almost a year now. In the beginning the relationship was so exciting. Then we went through a stage for about 2 months or so where we became more like friends. But slowly we got out of that stage and started doing romantic things again. But now that im back in college guys have been talking to me and i feel that i wanna be single and able to flirt without feeling so bad about it. My significant other and i have conflicting schedules so somedays we hardly talk. Also, this person I work with i feel i have fallen for. When he walks in the room i get butterflies so bad i cant breath. Whats wrong with me. sometimes i just cry because I know i love my significant other and they are my best friend. But i already feel like we are a "married couple." so routine sometimes. Im so confused. and i feel that this other person is falling for me deeply and i dont want to lead them on but yet i love talking to them


SO CONFUSED!!!! 6 years ago

So me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 months now and i really do love him and i know he loves me back. Ha yeah short but it's true. This is my first love and pretty much first real boyfriend. Well anyway I have this friend who I've known since 4th grade but we had started talking freshman year of high school and i really liked him and apprentley he liked me too. We got really close at the end of freshman year. He was like my best friend, so when school let out we were going to hook up. But we never did so my friend set me up on a date with her ex's best friend who is now my boyfriend. And while i'm dating him, the dude i was talking about before and i have seriously become best friends. All through the summer we'd be on the phone all night with each other and we'd never run out of things to talk about. I can tell him anything and everything. And when we first saw each other on the first day of school it was crazy because all my feelings i had pushed aside came back even harder. And i told him this too and he told me he felt the same way. I had really fallin hard for him. Like whenever i see him i just get a smile on my face. I love being around him and we always have a fun time. But at the end of the day when i'm talking to my boyfriend i'm soo happy i'm with him. I mean he's just amazing. We hardly fight, i love being around him and with him. I love when he holds me and he always tells me he loves me. He's just the sweetest guy ever and it's like i'm the only person that can bring out this side to him. So basically when i'm around my boyfriend all my feelings and love go to him and i forget all about the other dude. But when i'm with the other dude all my feelings and love go to him and even though i don't completely forget about my boyfriend it's not like he's all i'm thinking about. Please help i'm so confused and it's driving me crazy!


I really dont know 6 years ago

My girlfriend and I have been together for about 7 months and we get along great, we rarely ever fight or anything. But as of late ive been getting more and more frustrated with how easily she gets angry at people and how little things can so easily upset her. I love her with all of my heart, and she loves me too; i just dont know how much longer i can deal with her almost constantly whining, crying, or yelling at someone. Its exhausting me. But ive been friends with this one girl for about a year, and we connect really well, ive helped her through bad relationships and just bad days, not really out of romantic interest, but because im that kibd of friend. But we've started talking alot lately and shes single, with me debating breaking up with my girlfriend regardless of if i have someone else im interested in. Im not entirely sure the other girl likes me, but i think we'd work well together. Only downfall that thered be to dating her is the fact that my current girlfriend would probably commit suicide, and the other girls parents are very overprotective, so i wouldnt get to see her very often, definitely not anytime alone. Any good solutions?


girl 6 years ago

so for starters im 16 years of age,a girl, and a junior in high school. about a year ago i fell for my bestfriends boyfriend. they broke up and so i dated him. i was absolutly in love and dated him for 3 months when he cheted on me one night in march. he lied and said the breakup was for different reasons,no seeing eachother enough and such. well i got to the point where i thought i could date someone else; i was dating this other boy for about 2 weeks when i said i loved him. of coarse this wasnt true at the time and we finished that month fine. i realized i was still not over my past boyfriend and it wasnt fair to keep leading on my current boyfriend.i told him i wasnt over the said boyfriend and we broke up. its been 7 months since the first boy shattered my world and drug me into depression. im pulling myself out of it though its the hardest thing ive ever had to do, im getting over it. now im dating this really great boy but im constantly thinking about my last boyfriend and this other boy in my class. hes so great and we've been talking on myspace since school started at the end of august. he lives so close and it would be so easy to be with him all the time. also, hes just like me in every way. i really dont know hwat to do..ive been like best friends with my ex since we broke up in may and im always talking to him and thinking about what wouldve happened if i wouldnt have broke up with him. im also thinking about how things would go with this boy in my class,problem there is that he has a gf. the problem higest on my list is that my current bf says he loves me though we've only been dating for 2 weeks, i dont want to hurt him bc it feels like all i do is hurt people, but im not happy with him. if i broke up with him for one of the other boys would they want to be with me? would the taken boy from class leave his gf for me and would my ex really take me back after what i did to him? i feel like there has to be something wrong with me. please help. im lost and will use any advice you have for me. thank you so very much.


the_exact_opposite 6 years ago

well I searched the opposite of this on google but i figured maybe it would help, The guy I know im like in love with has a girlfriend but i think he likes me I'll talk about him as Zach. I know someone who likes me and Zach acts the same way around me as the person that likes me does. I think hes afraid of breaking up with his girlfriend because in our grade there like a big thing because they have been dating for almost two years. It seems like he really likes me back, but maybe hes not sure i like him. That or maybe he knows I like him so he acts different around me because he thinks its akward. So he is like sending me mixed signals because he looks like he likes both of us. And it doesnt help that his girlfriends locker is right next to mine because the i dont know if hes looking over to look at me or her. I have searched "how to tell if a guy likes you" in google since last year and he acts exactly like that.


need guidance  6 years ago

So, similar situation to most. I have been with my boyfriend for42 and a half years, and I feel really confused right now. Our relationship is great, we work the only characteristic I'm not very fond of is he loses his tempor easily but we all have our flaws. We had a break up two years ago and I dated a guy I dated in high school. This went on for about three months and during that time, I felt deeper feelings than I had developed those prior two years with my boyfriend. I felt like we had a great connection, great chemistry. I felt like we connected on a deeper level. Even when we dated when I was younger, I felt all this with him. Due to life's complications our relationship ended. My boyfriend showed he had changed and I could see all the love he felt for me in his eyes so i took him back. Here I am now, and I still wonder about my ex... I've recently been in contact with him and he told me he feels the same way. That he still feels a deep connection to me, that he always has, and doubts it will go away. But with these two years I've also developed a deeper connection with my boyfriend. I really don't know what to do. My ex and I seem to connect on a spiritual and intellectual level. I don't have to say a word, because he knows exactly what I feel. And with my boyfriend, I have security, stability, he loves me for me. He accepts me, and wants to move out in a few months and get married. I told him I'm not ready for that but you can only put off something like that for so long. I love him and I know marriage with him would be great, but I feel like I'm choosing a steady and happy life over true love. Sounds easy right, go with the one you feel a true deep connection with. But the problem is, my ex doesn't have the best rep with women. He is very indecisive and has always seemed to be looking for the perfect woman. I don't hold it against him because I understand who he is and what he is about, I just don't know if it's worth me throwing my relationship away. I kind of feel like my ex is my 1st choice and my boyfriend is my 2nd choice. But I feel like if i go with my heart and go for my ex and it doesnt work, I'll lose my current boyfriend. I know he wouldn't take me back because of the history between me and my ex and because he is vey proud.... I need help, has anyone been in a situation like this?


Feeling Guilty 6 years ago

Help!

I've been in a relationship for almost 10 years. It's a great relationship. My partner and I are very career orientated and have traveled the world together. I also have a close relationship with his family. We argue at least once a week, but that has always been how we deal with our problems, we never keep things bottled up.

We had both been living in the US when he was offered a job back in Europe. I had to stay on to finish off my work.

I was at a good friends party one night. By the end of the evening it was just he and I. We kissed and ended up having an amazing night together. We've since met three more times and talk all the time on the phone. I'm due to move back to Europe soon but I feel completely messed up now. I've never felt like this about anyone (apart from my partner) before and I know that the new person feels the same way. He knows my situation and says that there's no pressure on me to do anything about it.

Now I don't know what to do. I love my boy friend but feel that I could also build an amazing life with this new person. I don't want to hurt anybody but I also don't want to live with wondering "what if"

I know I must sound very selfish, but emotions are hard things to control.

What would you do?


krista 6 years ago

I've got a major issue too...

I'm 22 and been dating my bf off and on for about 5 years. We have had our breakup and horrible times. But plenty of good times too. He is the type that is emotionally closed off and I am the exact opposite. I love affection and attention. And he has never been one to openly give affection. I eventually got used to that. But I've always wished he'd change. We have fought about that trait of his a lot. I'm super lovey and want someone who is the same. I like a little PDA....not all over each other but holding hands and sweet little kisses etc. Well....its just been in the past week he's finally been changing. But also in the past week a friend that had moved away just moved back. Me and the new guy have known each other for about 1 1/2 years. I wanted to date him back then (during one of male and my bfs breakups). But my best friend told him I liked someone else and she dated him instead. But we stayed friends. Well now he's back and I found out he liked me then too and wish he'd dated me. I love my bf....but I really like the old friend too....really like him. I can't stop thinking about him for the past week since he's been back. He's super fine super sweet and affectionate. Everything I wish my bf was. There is my issue....after 5 years my bf is stArting to change right when I start liking someone else who is way better....I'm sooooo confused!!! Do I stick it out and see how much the bf is gonna change and see if he's finally gonna turn into what I've always wanted him to he or do I just let him go finally once and for all and move on with the new guy who I can truly see a future with?? UUUGGGHH. I got a lotta soul searching to do!


Williams 6 years ago

Hi

Most of the people on this site are quite young and you all have mny years of these ups and downs. It don't get easier. I fell in love at 13 with a friend from school (He was 15) and we spent 5 years as friends. I was certan he fancied me but as I wouldn't reciprocate(Too shy & he had a girlf), I lost him. We were just friends. He moved away & many a miserable year passed. I then looked on Friends Reunited in 2006 and there he was, single! I tried to contact him but to no avail then Facebook was launched and I found his brother (Also friends with him). We met up at his 40th & I can tell you now that, despite the changes, I'm still in love with him. He is in a relationship, has kids now too (Since 2006) and I am also in a relationship now (2years). Thing is, it feels more like a strong friendship or brotherly friendship rather than a lover. I still think of this other guy and hate that I can't have him. He might be moving to Australia too!! Love never runs smoothly even as you get older. I constantly question my relationship and ask myself what if but in the mean time, I have to sit back and watch him slip away from me again. I hope by being in and around his life through frienships and partners, I can dispell the myth of him being this ideal person for me. I hope I can learn that maybe he's not the one for me afterall. It's long winded and painful but hopefully worth it in the end! BTW: I'm 35, he's 37 and my fella is 29 (His partner is 30).


Key 6 years ago

Ugh I'm in love with my boyfriend and he's madly in love with me but recently this new kid transferee to my school and I was immediately attracted to him and I'm known to be a flirt so I flirted with him like crazy everyday in class and eventually it became obvious that he likes me. Now all my friends dislike my bf cause they think he treats me disrespectfully which is true sometimes and has caused my to consider breaking up with him but as soon as we're alone I'm reminded of why I love him so much. I've already broken up with my bf once but regreted it almost immdediately and took him back. Recently things have been a little rocky but we're working things out but this new kid continues to tempt me. I'm no cheater but I've never been so tempted in my life. He's asked me to homecoming already but I told him no and he's told my friends if I was single he'd try to pursue me and sometimes I really wish I could just let him my friends says I should just go for it cause life is short but the thing is I don't want to hurt my bf and I know I'll miss him terribly. Only difference is when I'm with my bf I don't think about this guy and vice versa but when I'm not with my bf I think about him all the time. I feel guilty for having feelings for this guy but something keeps drawing me to him and I get jealous if he doesn't flirt with me in class. I don't want him with anyone else but I don't think I can leave my bf. I've told him I would but couldn't bring myself too. Ugh idk what to do. My bf is great just moody and this guy is great just a little immature. Of course I'm not gonna lie this new guy is a lot more attractive than my bf and taller but I'm still confused.


confusingtimes 6 years ago

Hi, I am in a similar situation to most of you. I am 20 and have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years, and until a month or so ago I thought he was the one I would later marry and have kids etc and discussed all this with him. And then this summer, I went travelling, and even whilst I was there I missed him and talked to everyone about him but there was 1 guy there that I couldn't help having feelings for, and same for him, and we ended up sleeping together one drunken evening. We both knew what we'd done was wrong and just remained friends for the rest of our travels, but we all go to the same college back home. I thought I'd be happy to see my boyfriend when I arrived home, but actually seeing him regularly is driving me crazy and I don't like it when we have sex. I am living with my boyfriend this year at college, and this on top of the fact that my whole family love my boyfriend means realistically I can't (even though I want to) break up with him until the summer next year. Until then, I don't know what is going to happen when I meet up with the guy I slept with before, he had a gf back here too but has since split up with her. I am constantly thinking about him, and speak with him regularly online, but we only become flirty late at night/ when one of us has had a drink, because we had both agreed not to flirt with eachother after that night. I'm so confused, I think I thought I had the perfect relationship before I went away, and even after I'd slept with someone else still believed it was just something whilst I was away and when I got home it would all be okay with my boyfriend again but I think I just love him, and am not in love with him now. I get jealous when the guy I slept with talks to other girls etc yet not when my own bf does, surely that's telling me something?! But there is no way I can break up with him whilst living with him so I guess I just have to wait it out.


Confused 6 years ago

Yo my situation is even worse i have been with my current boyfriend for 3 years now he proposed to engage me a year ago and he has payed my lobola but not in full, the problem is ever since we started dating i have never stopped thinking about my ex boyfriend and the worse thing is that we never broke up he just had to leave to go to Durban to support his family and i still love him like it was yesturday even after so many years of us being apart everytime i think of him my heart skips a beat and i get stomack buggs and start day dreaming of us together. i love my fiance but me and him contantly fight and argue about every small issue he just is not what i have imagined him to be, he is totally different and each day i loose a feeling i cant even make love to him any more because i am always thinking about this other guy, i love this other guy and i believe he loves me too but i dnt know whether i should leave my fiance or stick with him because we have come so far please please give me advice before i make a wrong discision


tornapart 6 years ago

Ok so me and my friend have knows eachother for about 10 years and we dated for alittle bit about 9 years ago. when we are both single we flirt and fool around and when we are in relationships we are commited to that person. there has always been a conection between us and always will. I have been wth my current gf for almost 4 years but my feelings for my friend are growing stronger. I dont think she feels the same way but dont want to ask because i dont want to make our relationship weird if she doesnt. I dont want to leave my GF because i love her. If my feelings for my friend wernt so strong I think i would be perfectly content with my gf. The key words there being I think... She has the downfall of being my 1st long term relationship and i worry that i am not ready for the commitment(we live together). Also i wonder if i would be. if it just wasnt with her. We have had our ups and downs. i wonder if maybe my patience has just worn thin and i am having trouble falling back in love with her. Our excitement has left our relationship for sure and we work opposite hours so its hard to rekindle it. please if you have any advise please help!


bleh 5 years ago

I used to REALLY like this guy, and we almost had something going, but he left for uni and stopped talking to me, at the time I figured he wasn't interested anymore and got over it. So recently I started dating this other guy, and a few hours ago made our relationship public. I get on with his friends and I was really happy with it, but then the first guy mailed me explaining that his internet wasnt working, and he'd lost his phone, and is pretty upset that I'm in a relationship, and I talked to him for a while and I'm sort of starting to like him again. I don't know whether he's just saying this now because he didn't care until I was in a relationship, or whether it's genuine. And I don't really know what to do. HELP!?


Kirstie Marie 5 years ago

im also in this sort of situation.. im with this guy and we are always fighting.. recently i find im having feelings for another guy. i have spoken to my mum about it and she has said for me to just ignore these feelings for this other guy, but the more i try to ignore them the stronger they become. i darent leave my current bf as i dont want him hatin me.. (which he prob will do anyway) but noone seems to understand how hard it is for me to think this through.. AAAHHH im so confused!! can anyone help me?


dorothysmuse 5 years ago

Well I know how it feels to have this horrible situation my story is this. I have been seeing my current fiancé for 4 and bit years now but known him since I was 11 and I’m now 23. We get on so well laugh and carry on. At first everything was passionate and all I crave is a bit of passion in my life, it was all good. We moved in together and I thought that this would be a great thing to do and he didn’t object we also got engaged on my 22nd bday. So we have been living together for 2years but then the passion went and we live in parallel. He plays sport and i’m into theatre and i’m off doing my thing as he is his. He is like my best friend (which is not a bad thing) but I want more. He is gorgeous all the lasses like him and I know I’m fortunate but I think to myself girls you’d sharp change your mind if you were with him for this long as his not very ‘affectionate’ So I was peeved at the dull relationship and one night out a pub with friends a stunner caught my eye he was tall dark handsome and into music and dance like me, beautiful. So at first I played it really cool. I’m no cheat or so I thought! One thing led to another and at first it was just kissing and messing and then it got too deep. I finished my fiancé because my head was messed. The stunner turned out to be a player, he would say that he wouldn’t be with anyone else and that I would be perfect to introduce to his child blah blah but would then ignore me and go a bit crazy and scared when I asked him on a date. Basically I was a conquest. 'CAN I MAKE HER BREAK HER ENGAGEMENT OFF?' the answer was yes and as he had achieved that little goal he was off. I left it awhile and then went back to my fiancé thinking that he was really lovely and I was an idiot. Really all we had to do was push on and get passionate but to be honest it is hard. I know my fiance loves me and I know I hurt him. He knows that when we broke up it was over someone and that something happened but he doesn’t want to know . I wouldn’t either but the curiosity would kill me. Its also hard because I see this other bloke in the pub all the time, we barely speak now. But to be honest I really fell for him I watch him move around all the time (not like a stalker haha) but I cant keep my eyes off him and I think I could have made him happy if he’d given us a chance. He is seeing someone else now (typical). I can stop thinking about him and the trouble is I feel more gutted at leaving all aspects of what me and the other man had more than I felt with ending it with my fiancé. The only solution I think is to keep away from the pub and to pour myself into my current relationship with my fiancé.

This Quote sticks in my head which my friend told me

"Love the one who loves you, not the one who you love"

Might not be right but to me it sure is hell is true!'

Good luck to all who feel like this xxxx you’ll push through!


Teresa 5 years ago

I have a similar situation, i been in a relationship for almost 5 years, i'm 23. I have never been with anyone else but the person that i'm with now. I love him, I really do, we have talked about having children and all the stuff you do with someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, but just recently I have started to have feelings for a guy who is in one of my college classes. He is so sweet and i can't stop thinking about him. I find myself day dreaming about him all the time, i feel bad for doing that but i can't help it. I dont want to tell the other person how i feel because eventhough we flirt, its not like i know he feels the same, so to me is not worth it. I love my current bf and i hope these feelings go away.


Nick 5 years ago

I'm 17, a Senior in High school, and I've been with my Gf for 7 months, but, I don't have the feelings I did then, and it's killing me, but she knows nothing of what I'm really feeling. There used to be a spark, and it's just gone. I'm not even falling for anyone else, it's just, gone. I feel like shit, and really don't know what to do on this one.

I hate this feeling. Hate it, Hate it. I feel like if I break it off, I'll regret it, but I can't seem to make a decision.

Good luck everyone.


Wanderer 5 years ago

I am 28 and 7 years ago I was in a relationship with a woman 9 years my senior. We fell deep in love and if it weren't for financial difficulties and her sterility problems we would probably be still together today. She has 3 children whom I in my years with her helped raised and love dearly. We broke up after 4 pretty damn good years due to my frustration with our issues. I immediately jumped into a relationship with another woman, had a child with her and now feel totally indifferent after 3 years. I'll admit these decisions are the hardest because everyone can't be happy and that hurts because you have love for two people. All I can say is that whatever decision you make, make sure it is right for your soul. I believe who you decide to give your time, energy, heart, mind, soul, and ultimately life to should be someone who you feel you can be yourself around, who loves you, cherishes you, adores you, is loyal to you, and would do anything for you, anytime. And when you make that tough decision don't be afraid to tell whomever how you feel. And remember that if you don't love & respect yourself you can never love someone else.

Peace&Love


Do i follow my heart 5 years ago

Iv been with my fiance off and on for 5yrs were do to be married in 2months but he's been away for a lil while and during that time iv been seeing one of my ex's that iv been with also off and on for 7yrs yea kinda confusing very long story how ever I never stop loving my ex in fact I'm very inlove with him but I love my fiance very much iv been feeling lately that I'm about to make the biggest mistake of my life getting married and my heart is with my ex but I'm almost 30 and I'm tierd of dating I have 2 children and I'm reall ready to settle down and my ex who I'm so inlove with is also in a relationship and has been the whole 7yrs we've been together so basically iv kinda been holding on for a possible change which never came I know he loves me but I'm starting to see he's never going to leave her so do I stay with my fiance get married and move on with my life even tho I'm deeply inlove with my ex or do I just end both relationships help I don't no what to do I'm so broken and hurting behind all this madness


megan 5 years ago

i really need help, i've been with my boyfriend for nearly three years and this were good, but he's started treating me like crap and i've fallen for this other boy who tells me all these sweets things and makes me smile all the time.. i love the boy im with now even though hes horrible but i really dont know what to do.. end my relationship and get with this sweet guy .. or.. sick it out and stop talk to this guy.. :( help x


Pat 5 years ago

Wow, didn't think there would be this many people with a similar problem as mine. I need help like a lot of you too. I'm 16 and have been with my girlfriends for 3 months. You could say that i'm in love with her, but I'm not so sure myself anymore. I recently started talking to her bestfriend. Her and I have become bestfriends ourselves. This is great for my girlfriend, considering she has no idea that I'm in love with her best friend. The girl that I have feelings for though has much better conversations with me though. My current girlfriend doesn't really show any love for me. She doesn't want to kiss me in pubic and we don't really have time to hang out in private. She TELLS me she loves me but I don't believe it. I talk to her bestfriend everyday as a substitute to talking to my girlfriend now. We talk almost everyday and about everything and anything. As of now, all I think about is being with this girl. I think she likes me back, but I'm not sure. Should I tell her how I feel? Help :(


kate 5 years ago

Hi I'm 20 years old and been with my boyfriend for 3 years. my situation is very complicated....Me and my boyfriend don't get on very well we argue alot and hate each others friends so barely ever go out and do things, don't get me wrong we do have a laugh together sometimes and the sex is ok except i find i don't want to do it as much as i used to. well anyway theres this guy who ive been friends with for years and we liked eachother before me and my bf even got together but for some reason nothing ever happened and we didnt see eachother for quite a while......well weve been back in contact now for about a year and the whole time ive been wanting to be with him and see him all the time, i think he feels the same. The only thing is i'm finding it hard to split with my bf becuase ive been with him so long and also this guy is soo nice we get on really really well but...i don't find him that sexy, hes attractive but i just cant imagine having bedroom antics with him and hes a virgin too. help please need advice ........


TheGayGirl 5 years ago

I am 16. I'm a lesbian and I have been with my girlfriend for almost 9 months. She is my first lover and i have been completely obsessed and in love since the start. She is sooo good to me and treats me AMAZINGLY but i started talking to this girl two weeks ago just as friends but i started to like her and she likes me too! But i LOVE my girlfriend and i cant hurt her anymore. I told her about my feelings for this other girl and she was crushed. This is HORRIBLE. My heart is about to explode. I dont know what to do DX


confusedman 5 years ago

Hi iam 25 i have a LDR for more that a year, well recently this girl that i liked broke up with his bf and we been texting and calling each other this past weeks. Well iam so confused right now dont what do. but iam worried that the new girl is just looking for a rebound BF really dont know what to do please i need some advice.


Cupid 5 years ago

Confusedman, you are probably right about the rebound. With rebounds you really need to be careful because you will likely end up hurt as there will still be a lot of feelings going around for her and her ex.

It depends how close you were to her before, like if you were good friends with her then it might not be too bad however if its just a case of recently chatting then there is a chance you could get hurt.

What I would aim for is getting to know her well enough that you know how to comfort her but take things slow, let her take her time and make sure the break up is what she wants, the last thing you want is for her to tell you in 2 months she loves her ex and they are getting back together. I know that will suck a bit to begin with but it would be much worse to ignore her feelings.

I hope this helps.


Cupid 5 years ago

Confusedman, you are probably right about the rebound. With rebounds you really need to be careful because you will likely end up hurt as there will still be a lot of feelings going around for her and her ex.

It depends how close you were to her before, like if you were good friends with her then it might not be too bad however if its just a case of recently chatting then there is a chance you could get hurt.

What I would aim for is getting to know her well enough that you know how to comfort her but take things slow, let her take her time and make sure the break up is what she wants, the last thing you want is for her to tell you in 2 months she loves her ex and they are getting back together. I know that will suck a bit to begin with but it would be much worse to ignore her feelings.

I hope this helps.


Cupid 5 years ago

To Kate,

Your situation is awkward, I think you need to seriously consider what you do/don't like about your current relationship. Obviously frequently seeing your current partner does become a bit cumbersome at times but this is bound to happen with everyone, there are so many things you can talk about on a day to day basis and your life stories have been told time and time again this will happen in every relationship you can not go and substitute a partner everytime it reaches this point. You need to make new memories together, take up a new hobby together bring some adventure in to the relationship. Same with the bedroom do something different, try something new (ill keep it clean for the young eyes) there are some games available like "nookai" which is something different and exciting in the bedroom. I am guessing things went quite fast with your partner and maybe you have already talked about your future etc. Maybe you should take your foot off the gas and take things slowly again, go on dates as if they are your first again, see how he reacts to it he might try harder to make you happier. If you do not want to try the above and seriously think it would not help, you need to stop pretending to yourself and avoid hurting him even more, the quicker you end it the less he will be hurt there is no point staying with him for an extra 2 months when you know you will break up with him. Sit him down explain you need your space and think there is something missing with the relationship and you feel that there is something missing within the relationship. DO NOT go out with your old friend immediately let your system settle down then take things slow with your friend go for date first and slowly catch up with him.

I hope this helps.


dont want to tell who 5 years ago

well my girlfriend broke up with me and i really liek this other gir i was kinna acting as a boyfriend to her during my relationship and i told hr i was going to ask her out but now my e girlfriend really likes me and deep inide i still love her too and she wants to get back with me:/ and i dnt know what to do


.anon. 5 years ago

my solution:

i admit that i'm selfish and i want something i can't have. i have my cake, but, goddamn!! do i want to eat the hell out of it. i've accepted that this is a crush and, best case, it will pass and i'll be stronger because of it. my relationship is NOT perfect, but what relationship is? i refuse to poke holes in something that's not any more flawed than usual. to use another adage, if it's not broke, don't fix it/ don't build mountains out of mole hills/ don't break up with your girlfriend of six years for someone you've known for a month. so i'm going with action through inaction and doing nothing different. i doubt it's the path for everyone, but it's my way of dealing with it. wish me luck, i guess.


Curious 5 years ago

Hi i'm 22 and have been cheating since i was 16 occasionaly i stop when i start a new relationship. In most cases i was missing something in the current one so was looking for it from the other girl. Same situation this time only i'm tottaly satisfied its just that rush i get from this other girl she is such a flirt and a tease i really want to try it out with her also.


Search ended 5 years ago

Hi, am 30years old. I got married 3years back. It was a arranged marriage. As my father passed away and my mom was alone i had to marry. So it was a arranged marriage. The girl whom i married is a simple girl, happy go lucky sort of, she is taking good care of myself and mom, she loves me a lot. She is the perfect wife anyone can dream of.

But the problem is, i was into a relationship 7years back. X and myself loved a lot for two years, we planned to marry also. But due to some reason we dropped marriage and decided to be just frndz. After that i was busy with my work and i sometimes think of her. Later after marriage i told my wife everything about my past. She was happy that i told her everything. Her love towards me increased. I give her all those love and support what a husband gives. But still my heart keeps searching for that girl who is my girl with whom i can give 100% of my love. Am loving my wife but not as a lover. I found that girl last month. She is 27years old. I was in a project and found her. We started being frnds and in one week of time i told her that i love her. She has all those what my heart is searching for since many years. She knows am married so she told me its not good to hurt ur wife's feelings. The day i was leaving her city to ma place, she told me she has the same feelings for me, but she said that she cant go ahead with me as am married. So its something like after so many years my search ended as i found my her with whom i can give my 100%.

Its very deadly when u are married and after many years you get a girl whom your heart was searching for. Now am literally confused what to do. Am a kind of person who cant hurt anyone. I cannot hurt my wife as she is very simple and love me likeanything, she is the perfect wife. But i also have a life, i came yesterday to ma home and everysingle second am thinking of X, talking to her. She is saying not to tell my wife about anything as she will be hurt if she listens that am going on with another girl.

SO CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL WHAT I SHOULD DO. THERE ARE TWO WAYS:-

1) TELL EVERYTHING TO MY WIFE.

2) MARRY THE X ALSO AND STAY ALL TOGHETHER(WHICH IS NOT POSSIBLE WHICH MY X SAYS)

I CANNOT STAY MY LIFE IF I DONT BE WITH X. I CAN JUST BE A WALKY TALKY HUSBAND TO MY WIFE. I HAVE TO KILL MY FEELINGS. LIFE IS TOO SHORT, WHAT I FEEL IS WE SHOULD NOT SCARFICE OR COMPROMISE.


confused-by-love 5 years ago

Please some one give me some advice....

i been with my gf 5 years now, in the last 12 months i have been gettin close with a girl i met on the internet who lives 300 miles away.

i have lied to my current partner and have been to see the girl i met on the internet twice. fallen for her big time.

at the same time im confused to how i feel about my long term partner.i have the option to up and leave sticks and move away and i really dont no wat to do. i dont no how to tell my current partner wats been goin off. and just running away dont seem right, tho i keep thinking about doin it. i cant break away from the girl who lives miles apart i have tried i just cant do it...

some one please help wreckin my head!


tornheart 23 5 years ago

My situation is a little different for the ones presented. I have been with my current boyfriend for two years now and we argue about things that are really starting to take there toll. The guy I am falling for is a friend of mine that I have known for almost 10yrs. I have had feelings for him for almost 6yrs but have never wanted to ruin the friendship. The problem now is that everytime I hang out with my friend I dont see why I'm still in my current relationship. My current boyfriend is a good guy, we just have really different views. My friend has the same interest as me, we are able to talk for endless hours and never run out of topics. I hate the idea of hurting anybody but even more I hate the idea of wasting my boyfriend's time and leading him on and i also hate the idea of missing the chance to be with the boy next door. The article really has me thinking too.


So Confused! 5 years ago

Hey, glad im not the only one! I've been with my GF 10 years, we are both 28, own a house etc. We have had our problems, as all couples do. Recently I met someone at work, we get on almost immediately we hit it off, I assure you I had no intention of falling for someone else. However i did and we both feel the same way about each other, we want to be together. One major problem my gf is 6 months pregnant! What the hell do I do!? I'm over the moon at being a dad but am not happy with my GF. I will always be around for my child, but is that a reason to stay in an unhappy relationship or do I go with the girl who makes me happy and that I have fallen for!? Wow feels good to write it down! Life certainly does throw some curve balls! Any advice?


confused-by-love 5 years ago

curve balls thats 1 way puttin it!! being told to follow ya heart n head isnt a option because ya think both are as good as the other its having the balls to follow the right one thru! but if ya already looking or are wi some one else other then ya partner its kinda time be honest but how the fuck u do that i av no idea!!


chechee 5 years ago

oh dear GOD, please email me your replies to iteachu2drive@yahoo.com, i met this guy online, we met up a few times,slept toegther and we confess to each other it was great. he always have cooked when i went to see him. out the blue i get this email that this girl said she was his chick, but she into women and she not mad that we was together cause they have a open relation ship and said everything he want to do she knows about it. he is tryna get me to meet the girl, and is saying he really think i would like her, this and that. and im not into that. he said he love her, but he like me. and im making it difficult. he accused me of emailing her, and i dont even have the girl phone number either, so i said well maybe she forward one of the text messages to her self to make it look like i sent it. but i told his as i dont have time for that. what do i do. and what do he mean he lvoe her but like me and keep saying i should meet her, email me replys directly


counseling 4 u 5 years ago

we are providing advice send inquiries to iteachu2drive@yahoo.com, we actually posted a test post above, to see who may have similiar situations, we can help.


Natalie 5 years ago

I'm sort of in the same situation... Yesterday I found out that the guy I like likes me back. I told my friend, and he seemed happy for me, but disappointed at the same time. We decided to hang out, and he wanted to know if I wanted to hear him play the piano for me. I said 'ok', and he played a piece that I immediately recognized: Bella's Lullaby. I started to cry for two reasons~ one being that it was beautiful, and the other that I realized I might be in love with him. The first guy is really sweet, smiles at me all the time (especially on the bad days), and comforts me when I need it. He isn't that intelligent, athletic, musical, or adventurous (he's actually really shy). But the second guy is beautiful, funny, smart, super athletic, musically involved, and he promised he'd always be there for me. Either way, I'm hurting someone- myself, or one of the guys, or all of us.


Nerual 5 years ago

I'm in the same boat.

I'm 18 and I've been with my boyfriend Brandon for two years now. We've always had a great relationship but over the past year our chemistry has decreased. Now were both in college (same school) and it has gotten worse. Not only that, but he is very protective and we have personality differences. All of that combined has led to our constant fighting. We want different things in a relationship and in life.

Two years ago (before we started dating) I was talking to this other guy Eric whom I've known since my childhood. We were interested in each other but I had stronger feelings for Brandon at the time and left Eric in the dust not thinking anything of it.

Every once in awhile over the past 2 years I think about Eric, but just recently we got in touch and talk more frequently. The feelings I felt before came rushing back as if nothing had changed. I love talking to Eric, he always makes me laugh, he's so sweet and our families are good friends. Seems perfect but I know nothing is.

I don't want to leave my boyfriend for someone else, because that's awful and I would hate to have that done to me, but I can't help but think of Eric all the time. My relationship with Brandon isn't healthy and it's not getting any better. I know if/when we break up I'm going to want to be with Eric but I don't want him to be the rebound boyfriend..plus what if it doesn't work out.

I'm so confused.


5 years ago

I've been with a guy for 2 years now, and it's been so great up until now. His immaturity is starting to show more than ever and he just doesn't make me happy anymore - he doesn't think about me because he's too wrapped up in his own problems and I have wanted to end the relationship for at least a couple of months, but I've had enough now.

I just dont know if I can deal with being apart from him after 2 years, even though there is another guy I really like and that has even asked me out. In all fairness I would have wanted to leave my current guy anyway, but now the new guy's mixed me up completely by being so lovely and caring, and while he's less romantic and emotional (which will be a massive change that would always upset me - one less person to tell about my feelings when I'm down) he's so much more down-to-earth and, just, great, really. He also shares my hobby and lives a lot closer than my current (who is at the other end of the country, while the new guy lives in my city).

I just don't know what to do. The thought of leaving him is like throwing my whole life away... but I just can't do this anymore...


Natalie 5 years ago

It's me again, and I have one thing to say: Go with your gut. I decided to go with the imperfect guy, and now we've been dating for a few weeks. I know it's soon, but I find myself happier than I know I would have been with the other guy. So go with your gut and you'll be happy. Good luck to the rest of you.


HurtingOthers 5 years ago

I have exactly the same situation, i am happy in my current relationship but its that wonder factor thats killing me. ive been through this before in the same relationship were i liked someone else but i realised that i love my boyfriend and i need to try and work on that not drag someone else into the mess but this time the feeling is so much stronger and me and my bf are goin on two years and i live with him. but this guy makes me look forward to going to work just to see his face, i have to force myself not to want to talk to him or walk past him. its just all so messed up and its like im cheating cuz this guy is stuck in my head and im not quite sure if he feels the same but im pretty sure he knows i am taken its just this feeling is so strong it makes me flirt and say things i should be asshamed of but at the time im saying them im not. the big thing for me is i dont want to wonder later what my future couldve been with this guy, he is alot older than me and that could be part of what i like about him cuz i feel ready to start my life with someone and my current bf is barely working has no license, its just all a pile of confusion that will come over in time i guess but any advice i would be grateful for. thanks.


Mel 5 years ago

ok my thing is that the physical attraction with my current boyfriend isn't there, even though i have begged and done everything to get some loving i just can't....hence me falling for his friend. i don't know why but is this a sign it's time to move on?


Kyle 5 years ago

I think we should all get club jackets.

I've been dating my gf for two and a half years now, but I have liked another girl since I was 16. I'm 21 now and the girl I like but am not dating and I have still kept in touch though I am in the military. To make things worse I'm getting married in a few months, but I feel like I am marrying the wrong person. I already know that I am gonna marry the girl I am currently for the simple reason of I can't even imagine hurting her. I mean I like both of them a lot and I don't know what to do exactly. Neither of them know that I like the girl that I've known for five years now. They both know "I liked her", but like idk what to do and it sux. Hopefully everything works out?


5 years ago

In response to B,

Ultimately do whats best for you. But a few questions:

How was immature? Was he not supportive or lacked understanding? You do make mention to the fact that new guy isn't as emotionally supportive. If it was great up until recently, why would you have considered breaking up with him for the past couple of months? Also why are you two so far apart, did one of you move away? Long distance relationships are incredibly difficult to maintain. Is there any way for you or him to move closer to one another? You should definitely tell your current boy how you feel and take it from there. Its tough, but in my opinion I wouldn't settle for the convenience of someone being closer especially if you're saying things about your current guy like;

"The thought of leaving him is like throwing my whole life away."

Those sound like some pretty intense feelings. I don't know your age or current living conditions, But talk to him and if you still want to be with him find out if there is a way that you two could move closer to one another or see each other more often. Distance is a tough one.

Goodluck, J


secretliz 5 years ago

I think I have the perfect relationship. My boyfriend is kind and considerate and sweet. He is romantic and funny and has the most gorgeous smile in the world. I know I can rely on him for anything, and he always treats me with respect. He makes me feel like a princess everyday and I love him like he loves me.

Or at least I thought I did! Or I think I do?

My best friend is also a guy. We talk about everything, even those things which are personal and awkward or embarrassing. He has all the time in the world for me, as I do for him. Recently though, I've begun to notice he's acting differently. Other girls have told him they've got feelings for him, but he said having a girlfriend would change our friendship, which he wasn't prepared to do. I've noticed him looking at me differently, and saying things which could be taken as romantic or as having hidden depth. Ultimately, my female intuition says that my best friend has feelings for me.

But the worst part is I am beginning to feel the same.

Despite having a loving, devoted boyfriend who I have been with for a year - I find myself fantasying about my best friend. I wonder what he'd be like as a boyfriend, as a lover, waking up with him, spending my day with him. I can't get him out of my head, even when I'm enjoying time with my boyfriend.

None of this is like me! I pride myself on being loyal and on having my life together. I have a good job and am well-educated and never want to hurt the feelings of those I care about. I don't want to break my boyfriend's heart, by leaving him for another man!

The worst part is until I ASK my best friend outright whether he has feelings for me, I can't make a decision. And if I ask him, and my intuition is wrong, I might ruin our friendship completely. Doing that, I even run the risk of my boyfriend finding out and no longer wanting to be with me. Which I know I would deserve anyway.

I don't know what to do. Someone out there PLEASE help me. This is not like me, and I feel like I'm going crazy.

I love my boyfriend.

I love my best friend.

What do I do?????????!!!!!!


secretliz 5 years ago

Though I must add that I am so glad others are going through this mess too!

I agree with HuntingOthers' comment that its like "cheating in your head" when you like someone else.

Even if you're not doing anything physical, the fact that you're in a relationship but ANOTHER person is occupying all your thoughts is SO BAD!


lostlittleman 5 years ago

In the beginning I was so in love with my gf but she would say guys are hot to my face and think she was to good for me and I think she would cheat on me with her ex-boyfriend and even caught her trying to go in a truck full of dudes till I met this other girl who over time grew on me. So my gf left me for another guy it was the most depressing times of my life. So i always had feelings for this other girl but she had a boyfriend. Me and my gf got back but she would still talk to other guys so i broke up with her I tried to talk to the other girl but was do frightened and nervous too do so. She was single but I felt she was to good for me so I got back with my girl friend but we fought alot alot and agin she left with another guy without breaking up with me I told her off and said if she would do that agin id break up with her she talked to another guy so I just gave up though we would always fight she made me seem like the bad guy infront of everyone and we have been together for three years but have always had feelings for the other girl now. I see her in the hall ways in my school and am so in love but my girl friend seems to be obsessed with me now. Her parents are real cool with me also but to be honest I have no feelings for her nothing but the other girl I'm totally in love but i think the other girl won't even like me back but i can't go on we aren't even married yet and cant stop fighting. I want out I'm only 16 .. Not as in death though lol but yeah... :/ Idk what to do......... I wish i could find someone worth it


alexis 5 years ago

well i am in this situation i have a boyfriend that i like but i never really see him and we barley text anymore, but theres this other guy that goes to my school he's so cute and sweet and respectful and he likes me to, but idk what to do because my current boyfriend has been threw alot in the past two years so i really need help here!!:(


5 years ago

Really consider your situation and your own feelings. And most of all PLEASE be considerate of other people's feelings; IE the person you are currently involved with and the questionable side interest. Don't be selfish! If there are problems in your current relationship that need to be addressed and can be fixed then do so instead of running off with another person.


Cj 5 years ago

Hi, I'm currently married and have one child together with my wife. I work for cooperate company. Last spring of 2010 I hired a new employee. She was at the time just 19yrs old. She does not have any family in states as she was adopted from another country. As her boss I always wanted to help her as there was nobody to advice her what is good and bad. At the time she was aslo in a relation. We were going out as friends. I thought her driving because she wanted to buy a car. I lend my car to her. Her boyfriend at the time didn't allowed her to drive his car. So whenever we went out she drove my car. I really liked this girl and one day I told her that I was falling for her. She too was falling for me and also she use to talk about with her coworker. One day she told me that she had a boufriend and also that i was married. So we decided to be friend. Few day ago she told me that she brokeup with her boyfriend as she told him that we both went on date. I never thought that she would consider out going out for dinner was a offical date. Now that she has brokeup with her boyfriend we came too close to eachother and I'm really in love with her. But at the sometime I don't want to loss my presence with my child. My relation with my wife is not that good as well. But as a responsible person I m committed to be there for my family. The other girl I'm seeing understand my marriage and wants to be there for them, but at the same time she is expecting me to be there for her too. I don't know what to do. Till today we never had any phycial relation with each other except hugs. The relation with wife is like we never have sex any more but my wife loves me eachday like never before and at the same time we fight like I want to walk out of the house. I m with my family just for my child as I want to give him better life and want his hero. But at the same time I m also enjoying


i hate this! 5 years ago

Oh my goodness...i really thought i was the only person in the world with these issues.

Here's my story: i have been with the same guy for 6 years, im 22 years old and we were engaged at one point and time. Well, back in June...he left me...just randomly..poof...gone. We were apart for about 6 months. During this 6 months all sorts of things happeneded! I found out he was talkin to someone else and tryin to movce on with his life but yet he would still call me, text me and try to hang out. Well, i ended up meeting this Amazing man! He's like the guy everyone dreams of. I fell head over heels for him. Then the unreal happended...my ex wanted to get back together...to make a long story short....ive been back with my ex for about a month now...i told the other guy and he was crushed...Now i find myself wantin to text him or just hear his voice..i miss him so much. But, i feel obligated to stay with my ex because we have been together for soooo long. I dont wanna hurt either of them,but i wanna make myself happy...i just dont know what to do.


Geoff 5 years ago

Ok so here is my situation, I am currently married for 10 years with two children. My relationship has never been amazing more convenient than enjoyable. My wife has no ambition, drive or goals and is quite happy living each day as it happens, we don't share any real interests either. We like different music, clothes and values, now this is what has happened. I met someone else recently and we got on really well, laughing, joking and just a really enjoyable time, we then eneded up in bed and the feelings began to develop. We have been meeting quite a lot and I am really starting to fall for this women.

Let me explain, she is beautiful, smart, intelligent has passion, drive and ambition we share so much in common.. Now the tricky side?? She is also in a relationship and is due to get married next year we sat down recently and discussed this situation and we understand that someone is going to get hurt but how can you stop such a beautiful relationship growing.. I'm everything she wants and she is everything a want. Should we live our life's happy or destroy some others..


ANDREW 5 years ago

hi I'm in a relationship but I've meet this other girl and we are realy good friends and I think she likes me in the other way and I'm starting to feel the same but my girlfriend is AMAZING! but what do I do?


A confused dude 5 years ago

So... This is the most complicated situation I personally have been in. I've been dating my girlfriend for over a year now. This is long distance and the distance is very difficult for me to handle. Sometimes, when I would bring up to her that I'm depressed and I miss her, wishing she lived in my state (she's in Canada), she would just get annoyed it seems and shut me off. My loneliness has been so bad, I got myself a cat to keep me company. Even then it doesn't help. I kind of had to shut my emotions off in order to get through my day, and I think that may have been a mistake.

Well, lately, someone has caught my eye unintentionally. At first, it was just a simple "hey how are you?" exchanges. Soon it became an actual interest. We have only been talking for a few weeks now (besides passing each other on breaks or lunches). I can't stop thinking of her! I feel so sick to my stomach. I love my girlfriend very much, and I do not understand why I feel this way about my coworker. I have a personal rule: I don't typically date anyone younger than me, and I don't date anyone I work with. She fits both categories (younger and works with me). Even that still hasn't disinterested me! It's driving me nuts! I make every attempt to talk to her, give her rides home, help her with her problems. I keep scolding myself for feeling this way about this girl, I love my girlfriend! I can't imagine life without my girlfriend, yet I wonder what life would be like without this new person. I don't know how I could handle seeing her with another man, even though she has every right to date someone. Anyone have advice?


Nett1677 5 years ago

Hmm... I usually don't give advice and please don't take my word on this, you must do what you feel in your heart. But in my opinion I would be open and honest to your girlfriend that you are having trouble handling the distance. If she pushes away your concerns again and doesn't seem to care, then I would say she isn't much of a girlfriend.

The whole point of a relationship should be honesty and being able to help one another. It may be tough to be assertive and tell her how you feel, especially since you said your gf becomes annoyed. But the thing is, you have to decide if you want to stay with your girlfriend despite the distance or if you would rather be with the other girl.

I don't remember you ever mentioning if this new girl has feelings for you though? I wouldn't do anything until you know if she returns your feelings. And if you decide to stay with your girlfriend, I would put more distance between you and this girl (it's better not to tempt one's self) Sorry LOL that was long.

FIRST, I would say talk to your girlfriend and go from there. Good luck!


A Confused Dude 5 years ago

Nett1677- Thank you for the response :) I do appreciate it. I'll definitely talk to my gf about this issue (the distance). And honestly, the girl at work, I don't know if she likes me or not. She hinted it tho. I told her I was cold and she says, "well if you weren't taken, I'd invite you over to keep you warm." to me, that tells me she has interest. It's possible she's just being respectful since I'm with someone. I want to know if she does have feelings for me or not, but I'm afraid to ask, find out if either she was just joking, or she really doesn't have feelings for me which would then make it more difficult to be in the workplace.

Anyways, enough of me ranting. I thank you again for the response!


ANDREW BLACK 5 years ago

I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND WHO I LIKE BUT THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE WHO I LIKE AND SHE LIKES ME AND I SAID TO MY GIRLFRIEND THAT I NEED 1 WEEK TO GET BACK ON MY FEET REALY TO TRY AND GET THIS GIRL TO LIKE ME MORE AND TO GO OUT WITH ME SO WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO THE GIRL WHEN I SEE HER AND HOW DOES SHE GO OUT WITH ME ANY HELP? PLEASE HELP


rhys 5 years ago

ive gotta problem. Im not the best looking lad and im not that popular. therefore, u can tell that not many girls would go for me. Anyway, about a month and a half ago, i managed to get with this girl. At first i thought i really loved and she was all i thought about. Then there is this girl who suddenly starts talking to me more and she's everything. Beautiful, a good laugh etc. im really falling for her. what should i do? Is it worth risking my relationship for this girl?! :/


swearTObuddha 5 years ago

i get you guys. ive been with my girlfriend for a year now and i only see her once a week due to her mom not letting her go to school or see me so she is in home schooling. ive been spending alot of time at band and there's this girl that is now in winterline. ever since i saw her i felt like i needed to know her. But i know i cant be with her 1.)i have a girlfriend 2.)Shes a senior while i am a freshman 3.)she has a girlfriend in college shes been dating for 2 years now. WOW i kno.....not cool


dex 5 years ago

I'm in this situation too, but have the added guilt of my gf recently losing her mom. I feel bad for even writing this. We've been together 8 years (since we were teenagers) and a few years ago I started losing interest and had a growing urge to be my own person without anyone to answer to (moved in together straight from my parents house), I was struggling with this because I did love and care about her so much...but more like a best friend. Anyway, it was around this time that she lost her mom so I put all that to the back of my mind and concentrated on helping her get through an extremely tough time. These feelings started to come back a few months ago but I did nothing about them, then I found out that a girl who I'd secretly had a crush on for a while liked me too. Things quickly got out of hand, and I have cheated on my current gf, which I know is wrong, disrespectful and the last thing she deserves, believe me if I could go back it would not have happened this way, but it has and now i have a decision to make...its all I can think about and its making me ill. Any advice would be appreciated, but I just came here to get it off my chest, that and there's not as many judgmental people here compared to other similar pages.


Same situation 5 years ago

I am in a similar situation. I've been with my boyfriend for little over 5 years, 3.5 of which was long distance. We've had our good times and our bad times. But I'd always been perfectly happy with him. However, about a couple months ago, I started spending lots of time with a friend of mine from work. I started having feelings for him and my relationship with my boyfriend was also hitting a rough patch. He's a great guy, and is single. We started doing regular activities together, and one thing led to another and we ended up in bed together. It didn't feel awkward or wrong at all and I ended up telling my boyfriend everything that happened and how I feel confused about it.

It's led to such a sticky situation, where my boyfriend says he's going to try real hard to make our relationship work, but this friend of mine also seems to think that what we have could work. I was really confused, but I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend after 5 days of agony. I think I'm going to remain single for a while till I can figure things out.

I don't know if what I'm doing is right, but currently it just lets me feel like I may have some peace by being single and not being pulled in two directions.


Mike 5 years ago

I'm like the most here, in a relationship for 5 years now and in love with my best friends girlfriend. We've kissed almost a year ago, lost sight of each other and reconnected a few weeks ago. It's lik there was never even a pause between us and we still like each other a lot. I cannot find the courage to break up with my girlfriend because i still love her. But the other one makes me feel so special. We love the same things and everytime we see each other it's like we connect on every level.

I dont want to cheat an my girlfriend but when the other girl and i are together we just feel the same and i'm sure it will lead to much more.


Anonymous 5 years ago

Love and insanity are the same thing. It must be because I'm crazy for someone I don't even know. He's shown some very clear signs that he likes me and i can't stop thinking about him. I see him everyday. I can't get him out of my head. I'm engaged to a lovely guy who has been amazing to me but we have been engaged 3 years and he won't set a date and keeps saying we have no money and yet we have more money than 3 other people I know who got married within a year of their engagement. We were went to move in about 2 and a half years ago and he won't get off his ass to make arrangements it's always me. His brother suggested some good things and he just sat there pulling faces. I feel like it's going nowhere but when I talk to my fiancé about it he says he doesn't want to lose me and promises we'll move in together. He's been saying that for 2.5 years now. I don't want to break my fiancée heart but this guy I like lives near me and my relationship is long distance. I'm lucky if I see my fiancé once a month and my feelings are gone right now. I'm going to be very honest here and just admit that I'm going to start talking to he other guy and get to know him because I'm feeling a bit lost over the situation with my fiancé and a bit hurt by it too.


confused  5 years ago

I have been off and on with a guy for


female in the uk 5 years ago

well ive been with my fianee for 3 years now and everything was fine but when i started my second year of college i met this other guy in my new class and hes like my best friend now, we talk and text all the time but my fiancee doesnt no because i no he gets jealous. i tell this other guy everything and he even helps me sort my problems out. but recently my and my fiancee have been at each others throats and its horrible so i turn to him and hes allways there with advice and tells me everything will be fine. a few weeks ago he said that he wudnt say no to me if i was single but he isnt one to break relationships up and now i have feelings that wont go away and i dont know what to do. i cant tell my fiancee because i no what hes like and i dont wanna tell the other guy because it might freak him and will lose our friendship which i dont want to do, i keep dreaming about him and find myself re reading texts and its getting abit strange now.. what can i do!!!


Male in UK 5 years ago

Ahh I'm a little...lot stuck too! Ive been with my fiancee for 5 years, but feel as though for a long time things were simmering away between us and we were arguing a lot for months and I told my fiancee how I was starting to feel detatched. I was out a few months ago (a couple of months after) and met a girl I work with on a night out, I have noticed her before, but never spoken. We got on really well, and were both attracted to each other. I never did anything but was tempted. This has lead to many arguement between me and my fiancee, splitting many times as I feel very distant from the relationship. I have not spoken to this girl from work since, but see her regularly and want to at least let her know that I wasn't being an idiot the night I met her, but I dont want to do anything wrong. . . Me and my fiancee are trying to sort ourselves out through counselling as we also have a young child which is making the whole situatiion a lot harder, but I am still feeling un-hopeful (and have said this many times) of our relationship and the more I see the girl (although probably being stupid) it reminds me of the night, and I want to speak to her..The whole situation is doing my head in and is upsetting my fiancee. Wish we could resolve this.


lost 5 years ago

I am crazy in love with my boyfriend. He makes me so happy, and we are such a great couple. We have similar goals and dreams and interests, and we get along fantastically. But we're in a long-distance relationship during the school year, so that makes things a little difficult.

While I'm going to college far away, I've started getting a big crush on a friend here. I don't know why I like him so much-I can't imagine a relationship with him would ever work out. But we talk all the time and I even dream about him. I don't WANT to have a crush on him. I don't WANT to date him. I really love my boyfriend back home, and I feel really guilty that I have feelings this strong for another guy, especially one I can't imagine dating. I want to just get over him-I think we'd make fantastic friends, but I don't want it to go further than that. I just can't help but want to be near him though. Help?


An emotional confused wreck  5 years ago

I am on the other side of the spectrum from all of yous. I completely fell in love with a girl mate of mine, even though I told myself I would never fall for. At the time, she had a BF (of 4 years). The reason why I fell for her was because she persisted with text messages on how much she missed me (when she had to go to a different city for studies)and always wanted to meet up. We did meet up, as friends. We talked alot and got close a few times. We eventually kissed. We hooked up on several occasions. This was while she had a BF. Now, she doesn't have a BF. She is single. I told her I had feelings for her and that I like her. It seemed like she didn't have the same feelings, and I got rejected and hurt. I did not talk to her for the whole summer break. But on the last week of summer holidays, she txtd me to meet up. We did and we went out. Then we went back to my place at the end of the night and slept together. That was 5 weeks ago. Are we friends or can we be potentially much more that that? I am all confused. I don't know what she wants from me! She lives in another city. I am too scared to tell her I still have feelings for her. I don't know if she is already seeing someone else. I can't get over her. I think about her everyday and every minute. My days are so grim and grey.. I swear, If she does get with someone else, I am ending the friendship and never ever going to talk her again. You all should be grateful you have a current BF/GF, its people like me who get hurt by people like you. We're the guys that permit you to escape from your ordinary relationship to be with us. But at the end of the day, you'll resort back to routine with your BF. I really don't understand you all.


confused.... 5 years ago

well i have been sdating a married man 4 a year and i met this guy which i knw 4 a fact i'm falling 4 him, bt he has a kid and still involved with d mother, i'm si confussed i dnt wnt 2 go out of a bad situation into a worse one, Help................


confused.... 5 years ago

well i have been sdating a married man 4 a year and i met this guy which i knw 4 a fact i'm falling 4 him, bt he has a kid and still involved with d mother, i'm si confussed i dnt wnt 2 go out of a bad situation into a worse one, Help................


Commenter 5 years ago

I'm on this situation at the minuet I'm currently dating someone who I like he's sweet most of the time but very immature the guy u have deep feelings for is one of my closest friends and we've never date but been down a close road j don't know wether he feels the same about me anymore.... The guy I'm falling for is much more mature than the guy in currently dating but that's the only personality change but I know the guy I'm falling for I can have a much more serious relationship with and it won't be like looking after a child which is what it feels like in my current relationship sometimes but u don't want to finish my relationship incase the guy I'm falling for dose not feel the same way if I'm honest it's all very confusing!


Confused 5 years ago

I have been in a serious relationship with my current boyfriend of 2 years. The problem is now I have moved 4 hours away by plane to complete University. He cannot move here just yet and now we are in a long distance relationship. I was confident that our relationship is genuine until we started developing issues when we were apart. I told myself that I will stay with him till he decides otherwise. We are planning on getting married and our families know.. The problem is now that I have moved I met a guy that works with me and fulfills most of my needs and makes me happy. I feel absolutely guilty though I haven't cheated. But I feel like I might soon and it scares me. To make matters worse my current relationship is becoming shaky which makes me more confused. What do you do? Someone who wants me to reject my past life to start a different one with only him in it (but knows me best)? Or the guy who seems to be playing all the cards right but I barely know?


Confused!!  5 years ago

I actually love this article, I am 25 years old have been in a relationship for 7 years, inwhich my boyfriend is in the armed forces, we have just gone through our 3rd 6 month tour of duty but things have changed dramatically. Im unsure whether its the long distant thing but the past 6 months i got used to doing my own things in my own routine, an being on my own with our 2 year old daughter, no arguments, no questions asked.....its been great. But when i speak to him i dont get them butterflies i would usually get, i dread phone calls, as they usually end up in arguments, things he does that would normally bother me, just dont anymore. But here is the other thing, my male best friend who ive known for 7 years an have been working with, who has been there for me when ive needed him, he is caring, funny, an has given me all the attention i have wanted the past months....well i have fell for him, i get butterflies, he makes me smile even if i feel down, i cant stop thinking about him. He is the total oppisite of my boyfriend, im really confused, an unhappy, any advice????


Angel 5 years ago

Okay, I'm obviously on the same boat as most, if not all of you.. I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 years, living together almost a year and a half. And honestly, I do love him, when I think about not being with him I don't think I could live without him... but then there's this guy who I met at work... I am going on 20 and this guy is going on 28.. there's quite a difference.. I just can't stop thinking about him day and night. I think about being with him in my dreams! Okay, now not only do I have a boyfriend who I live with but I have a HUGE crush on someone eight years older than me who just also happens to be MARRIED... now what can I do? We flirt all the time and he hugs me real tight when we say hi and bye and it drives me insane!! Though I'm sure he probably doesn't feel the same way as me, I still like him a lot more than I should. I can't seem to find anyway out of the situation I'm in. :( it really upsets me, too...


no sure 5 years ago

I just recently started dying this boy.. its now been a month and he said he loves me.. I didn't know what to saybecause I was in such a shock so o said I loved him too.. but the truth is I'm in love with one of my very good friends who also loves me.. I feel extremely awkward around my current boyfriend and I absolutely don't want to hurt him...he is such a sweet heart.. but I just rushed into this relationship because I thought I realty liked him.. And That's I would get over my friend..but its been about a month and a half.. and I'm somewhat terrified of my boyfriend nd I want to be with me good friends


loveisnteasy 5 years ago

It's such a relief to see others are having the same issues I am, even if there are no easy answers we can offer each other.

I love my husband and really do feel we are perfectly matched. We’ve been married for several years and have a couple kids and things are actually really good. But we've been going through a rough patch and I suddenly found myself really getting closer to and falling in love with someone else. He's a wonderful person and we have a lot in common. He makes me feel alive again and brings a smile to my face whenever I think about him and whenever we talk or text. He feels very much the same and we’ve gotten really emotionally attached to each other. I could easily see things developing with him if circumstances were different or if I smashed my whole world around me, but I dont want to be that person!

A bunch of the people here have talked about not feeling "in love" with their current partner anymore and I have to admit that I'm not feeling that sparkly burning passionate in loveness for my husband either. But then again I dont really think of that as True Love. That’s the rush that comes with new relationships and it would go away with the new guy too. I know that technically, even though it feels amazing.

What I have with my husband is real and even though I am falling in love with someone else too, I know it needs to end. I know it’s the right decision and the one that will work out better long term, but that doesn’t stop the hurt and pain from trying to detach myself from the guy I’ve fallen in love with. I just wish there was an easy way to back out of what’s been happening without hurting myself or those around me!!


Tamara 5 years ago

Oh dear dear me..

I wonder if anyone can help..

A while back I was with an AMAZING guy, I left him for some guy I thought I liked. After 10 months I realised he was the biggest mistake of my life.

I then was lucky enough to find ANOTHER amazing guy.. I'm so happy with him, we're now trying for a baby and thinking of getting engaged.

But now there's a guy at work that caught my eye. He has a 5 yr old daughter from a previous relationship, and a new (currently pregnant) girlfriend. I wasn't going to persue it, but then I found he liked me too. He asked me out for a drink and we get on well. I'm really not the kind to cheat, or break up other relationships. But we are really attracted to each other.

He says his current girlfriend was a big mistake and he doesn't love her, so he's probably going to leave her anyway. But what do I do? He wants to give things with us a go, even if it's just us meeting up while we decide how we feel before we leave our current partners. He offers me all that my current boyfriend does. Except it's slightly less secure, because obviously I'm thinking if he's done this to his girlfriend, he could do it to me. But he said that seeing me is a 'choice' and he wants this. He's also convinced I 'love' my boyfriend but I'm not 'in love' with him.

So now I just don't know. I do love my current boyfriend, but I like this guy. I'm now questioning what love is and how you know when you're in love..

I want to see this new guy, see how it goes, but at the same time I feel guilty. Especially about lying to my boyfriend.

:'(


MsLibra 5 years ago

Wow this article is really enlightening. So Ive known my bf since oct of last year and we've been in a relationship for two months. When we met he had just got his heart broken by his true love. It took him a long time to get over it. Now at that point in time i felt close to him and i decided to wait for him to get over her so we cud get together. The prob is i met this guy from my church he's older and more mature and we like each other but idk wat to do. I dont want to break my boyfriends heart after what he has been thru yet im already becoming bored with him. we are exact opposites and i hate all the things he likes n he hates all the things i like. This new guy has alot n common with me he is independent in school as well as the army and he is very caring. My parents even love him. Im really stuck now becuz i kissed the new guy ughhhh. Help me


raymondcollins 5 years ago

i like 2 of my exes still one we dated for 2 days then 3 days and 5 days all togetter and my ohter one i like still we dated for 3 years and then she 2 time me and i have a grilfriend plz hlep me confused


spazmatic 5 years ago

I am in the same situation except i already messed up and got drunk and cheated on my guy. If you can call it that... We have been off and on for the past 5 years. We have a kid together. He left me while i was pregnant. After the baby was born i moved in with hin and we were going to try to work it out. We always fight. He hasnt asked me back out but he tells everyone i am his girlfriend. He never cuddles me or compliments me. He is immature and has a severe anger problem. But i love him for some reason. I just think i am at the point now where i am done basing things off of how i feel and would like to instead make choices based on what i deserve. I was completely faithful until a few days ago. My dude is out of town and i called him to tell him i was going out and he flipped out at me yelling and telling me it was messed up for going out bc he hasntgone out but he doesnt realize that pursuing his hobbies and interests are him going out. That night, i didnt plan on it, but i went with my friend back to her bf's house for a party. This guy i have had a crush on for a few months was there. We ended up talking all night and even started cuddling, something my current dude claims i dont deserve ans havent earned, despite the fact that he had called me boring in bed and i upped my game tenfold and even let him put it in my butt, which i never ever wanted to try, but did. Cuddling apparently made my shwasted ass turned on and i ended up sleeping with my friend. We cuddled after and woke up in the morning beside eachother. I have had a lot of crushes over the course of my rocky on and off stuff with my baby daddy, but never ever acted on them. Not even while i was wasted at parties with these dudes... Not til this guy. He is awesome. Before he even knew i liked him, he would post things online about his thoughts on love nd they would speak, like directly, at my heart. He is amazingly talented and sincere. He is comforatable expressing his emotions. I think he is fantastic. I also think he likes me too, beyond just that we hooked up. My friends and family all dont like my current guy. His own family thinks he is a huge jerk. But this new dude is kind of a mutual friend, and our other mutual friends are pushing for me to drop my current guy and get with this other guy. I really really like this new guy, but i have so much history amd a child with my current unofficial on again off again guy. Its so hard and i know no matter wat direction i go it is going to hurt me a bit as well as one or the other guy. The new guy hasnt even brought up what we did, but he has been talking to me about other stuff. Like, getting to know me stuff. After i hooked up with my current dude, it seemed it dwas all he wanted... Obv. Im not dumb. I know the answer is obvious given the facts, but i live with baby daddy and... He is my baby's dad, so a big part of me really does want it to work bc it would be the ideal situation if it could... Im just really beginning to doubt it ever will.:(


Jcb 5 years ago

This article hits the spot. Reminds me of the 80-20 rule.


soo confused! 5 years ago

I have been dating my gf for 6 months now and I feel like she could be the one. But not long before we were dating I felt myself falling for my best friend, this was difficult enough as I didn't know whether to tell her and find out if she felt the same or to keep quite and just be happy I had her as a friend but feel depressed for god knows how long (I didn't tell her, I think this wad a mistake). Anyway, now that I'm dating my current gf after 6 months I just began going into a massive downer and have been thinking about my bestfriend almost constantly, I just can't get her out of my mind. But like I said, I still love my gf with all my heart but really don't think I can give her my full devotion like she deserves as my mind is always on my bestfriend. What should I do??? :/


soo confused! 5 years ago

I have been dating my gf for 6 months now and I feel like she could be the one. But not long before we were dating I felt myself falling for my best friend, this was difficult enough as I didn't know whether to tell her and find out if she felt the same or to keep quite and just be happy I had her as a friend but feel depressed for god knows how long (I didn't tell her, I think this wad a mistake). Anyway, now that I'm dating my current gf after 6 months I just began going into a massive downer and have been thinking about my bestfriend almost constantly, I just can't get her out of my mind. But like I said, I still love my gf with all my heart but really don't think I can give her my full devotion like she deserves as my mind is always on my bestfriend. What should I do??? :/


soo confused! 5 years ago

I have been dating my gf for 6 months now and I feel like she could be the one. But not long before we were dating I felt myself falling for my best friend, this was difficult enough as I didn't know whether to tell her and find out if she felt the same or to keep quite and just be happy I had her as a friend but feel depressed for god knows how long (I didn't tell her, I think this wad a mistake). Anyway, now that I'm dating my current gf after 6 months I just began going into a massive downer and have been thinking about my bestfriend almost constantly, I just can't get her out of my mind. But like I said, I still love my gf with all my heart but really don't think I can give her my full devotion like she deserves as my mind is always on my bestfriend. What should I do??? :/


soo confused! 5 years ago

I have been dating my gf for 6 months now and I feel like she could be the one. But not long before we were dating I felt myself falling for my best friend, this was difficult enough as I didn't know whether to tell her and find out if she felt the same or to keep quite and just be happy I had her as a friend but feel depressed for god knows how long (I didn't tell her, I think this wad a mistake). Anyway, now that I'm dating my current gf after 6 months I just began going into a massive downer and have been thinking about my bestfriend almost constantly, I just can't get her out of my mind. But like I said, I still love my gf with all my heart but really don't think I can give her my full devotion like she deserves as my mind is always on my bestfriend. What should I do??? :/


Confusedgirl 5 years ago

I got married kind of young and only had a couple of boyfriends before marrying my husband. He overprotects our relationship and doesn't like me to go by myself on any social events that won't involve both of us or me going out with a girl-friend once in a while. The thing is that I started a new job and I really like one of the bosses. We both are married and he hasn't made a move but I can tell he finds me attractive. He gets close to me, smells my perfume, tries to check on me every day even though he doesn't have to, and looks at me on particular way, but still hasn't done anything wrong. Even though, I'm not planning to cheat on my husband, I think of this man very frequently, i have fantasies about him even when having sex with my husband and I realized i feel more motivated just by thinking of him while doing it. I've been married for a decade and I'm feeling like I want to try new things, feel a little bit more free. At the same time I am afraid that this man I like might make a move and maybe I will be tempted into getting into something I should not do. I think it's all platonic right now but feel very confused about my current situation now. Any advice?


Pixiegirl 5 years ago

Dear Spazmatic,

Unfortunately, we don't live in the ideal world. Your baby's dad doesn't care about you or your baby because if he would, we would try at least. Either you go further with the new dude you just had sex with or not, you have to move on. Not all parents have to stay together for the child's sake. Sometimes it could even be worse because if there's nothing special between you and him then the potential of harming your kid while growing up based on confrontations and fights between you and the dad is very big. A mom and a dad can't just stay together because of the kids. You have to think in your true happiness so you can make your kid happy. If you are unsatisfied with the current "relationship" you are in now, then by the time your baby gets older, he/she will realize and both of you will be unhappy.

Doesn't matter if you go beyond with this new guy, there are many other men in the world that might get interested in you. Just go out, have fun, don't do anything you will regret and get pretty, that will make you feel better. After reading your story I have the feeling you feel guilty and there's nothing wrong with what you are going thru, you are human and you have feelings and if your baby's dad is not doing anything for you and for the relationship, why would you have to stay with him and not let yourself find a better man for you? You deserve it!

Good luck!


Pixiegirl 5 years ago

Hi MsLibra,

I think you should talk to your boyfriend and be honest about the relationship. Does he want to continue? Does he want to go further? If he isn't that interested maybe he might be feeling the same way about the 2 of you. Maybe he thinks he doesn't want to break your heart after you waited for him and move on from his last relationship. You just don't have to tell him you already kissed another guy... just talk to him about the 2 of you and try to be clear about your interests, if you realize he doesn't care much about getting involved in the same things you like, then you can take advantage of that and ask him for some time not only for you but for him as well, if he accepts immediately, then that is a clear sign he is not into you... then things will be easier and you will be able to move on with the guy you really like! Good luck!


Pixiegirl 5 years ago

Hi Confusedgirl,

Isn't it great how people can find a new exciting person interested in them without even asking for it? I truly believe you have reached the point were you feel bored about your marriage and want to try to know different and new people in your live. I'm not saying it would be a good idea to cheat on your husband, but probably you need to try new things with him. Don't risk a lot on the process though... I know people that tried very different things and they end up making things worse (ie. swinging, three-somes, etc), I'm not talking about that! Just about getting romantic again, trying to play games, sending sexy text messages to each other, be creative! If that doesn't work and the man at work tries to go further, just be careful not to fall for him and if you decide on moving forward with him, then be very careful because that can end up in messing your marriage or sparkling the flame that you've lost. It's all up to you and what kind of decision you want to make. Good luck!


fireflies 5 years ago

Can anyone advise me on what to do? I met a guy 7 months ago. We had a long distance relationship but after a month, we decided to cut the relation for we think its not working. After few months, He got a new gf. I was hurt but we are far from each other. so, I just kept the hurt within me. However, Just last month the guy communicated with me again and he told me how he miss me and we saw each other again. After meeting each other we felt that we still do love each other but the big problem is, he already have GF. Although he said he never loved the girl. He just like the girl before.

Just Yesterday he broke up with the girl. I should be happy but I'm not happy because he feels so sad about breaking up with the girl. Because he said the girl didn't do anything wrong with him and he broke her heart.I do understand what he means and i know how the girl was hurt but I don't know what to feel now. When he told me that, I don't know how to react and how to feel? Is this right?im so confused. Should I give him time? Is there any possibility that he do love the girl? should I?? I dont know what to do and what to say to him.Please help me :(


Jimmy 5 years ago

I have a real pickle like this:(

I've been dating my gf for about a year but I have this ex who is her best friend. Ever since I met her we have always had some feelings for eachother but never known it untill about a week ago and I could never choose between them because they both mean so much to me. Me and my ex broke up last year for really stupid reasons and we both agree on that and now we know we like eachoter but we don't want to hurt my current gf or cheat but we want to be together so badly but I feel the same about both of them and idk what to do:(


Lindsay 5 years ago

This artical was slightly useful, but really no help at all. I have a boyfriend, but we got together three days ago. Before that I met someone and he asked me out the day I met him, but I said no because I liked my current boyfriend and I didn't know him that well. Now I know that guy a little bit more I really like him (and he REALLY likes me as well). I also like my boyfriend. All I am is confused and I feel like a bad person. I know I should break up with my boyfriend NOW so that he won't get hurt worse than he will, but I hate seeing others hurt. Especially when I care so much for them. I just feel so bad. I plan to just let things fall where they may. After all I have so much more to look forward to in life.


Help.!!!!!! 5 years ago

I need help ASAP.!!!!

So I have been with my boyfriend on and off for 10years. He is my first real boy friend and I love him to bits. Hehas cheated on me over 5 times but I just kept going back. We had a lengthy break for around 6 months while he dated another girl. I found another guy in that time that I had hooked up with a few times. And he treated me like a complete angel. But I ran back to my boyfriend when he had finished doing what he wanted with the other girl.

But here is where it gets difficult.We now have a baby together and I feel really guilty because I constantly think about the other guy. Is this a healthy relationship tone bringing a baby up in?? I am so confussed and need some advise PLEASE.!!!!!


Help.!!!!! 5 years ago

Also I know the other guy likes me aswel as he told me he never felt the feelings he is having towards me before.

He knows my situation and would do anything to break my family up but I just think about him so much even tho I haven't seen him for about 3 months


hopelesslyconfused 5 years ago

i've been with my boyfriend for almost two years now and i keep getting little crushes on other guys. i know it's okay to have crushes and not act on anything but i just feel so sad for my boyfriend. we have not been on best terms lately because he has emotionally cheated over 15 times and sometimes i feel like maybe i'm emotionally cheating too by getting these little crushes. but i sometimes feel like it could be my subconsious. is it better to be single, or live like a hypocrite? i don't want to lose him.


ToughSituation 5 years ago

I am 22 years old and have been in a relationship with my girlfriend since highschool, we split up for 3 years and after all that time we found each other again and have now been together for almost 3 years consistant. We have a 1 year old daughter together. My situation is very touchy because my feelings for her will never change because she is my daughters mother...but at the same time I feel the love but am not "in" love. We fight constantly, more then not, and I know its unhealthy for my little girl. I have recently met someone that makes me feel like I have a chance at a normal functional life. She is smart, amazingly gorgeous, and she also has a little girl. Though I haven't known her for very long the feelings are mutual and I just feel like being around her makes me realize how unhappy I am in my current situation. I have been unhappy for a while now and belive that my current GF is as well, and I can't help but feel like we are making ourselves miserable for my daughters sake. I know from personal experience how divorce and break ups can effect children, and I don't want my daughter to have an unhappy life. But. I also know that I can't spend 17 years with someone I don't truely love. I have been talking to this other girl a lot lately and have even gona as far as telling her that I just want to get it over with and see what we can make of this connection we are having. Its such a scay feeling and would just like some advice please! Anything helps.


OhThisSucks911 5 years ago

God, this page has made me feel a little better about my current problem. I too, thought I was the only one having this problem. If anyone has advice...please, please, please....advice-my-ear-off!

I've been with my boyfriend for going on 5 years. I've never had a big problem with it at all until recently. I've done so much in-depth thinking that I pretty much know the reason for these feelings are because while I'm working nearly full-time and going to school full-time...he's sitting at home, watching television or sleeping, or selling a couple of things here and there on craigslist. He's had a job, but has never held one. He's told me he doesn't want to work any customer service-type jobs...that aggravates me so much because EVERYONE works customer service in one way or another...we had an huge argument about it all last night...and in the past, I've made comments about how much it bothers me and how I'm moving forward with my future...and that he's just not doing...anything...so I guess it's inevitable that I've began having feelings for a co-worker? But I feel SO, SO, SO horrible about this that it's not even funny. I'm not a cheater, never could be, and I have never had feelings for anyone else...I feel like just having these feelings is cheating!

I don't know what to do. My boyfriend has said he would kill himself in the past (numerous times) if I left him, or that he would kill the guy...etc...it's kind of a scary situation because a piece of me is afraid of the outcome and I'm not sure I could handle it, if he did act on either of those...

But the co-worker guy...he's obviously got a job...he's almost through with college, he's 24, I'm 22...maybe it's the fact that he's of a more mature nature? My boyfriend is hardly ever serious and we do nothing together, but watch tv or sleep. I don't know what to do...this guy likes more of the same music I do, makes me laugh, talks about things instead of being quiet...and I always catch him looking at me, and I'm most guilty of all, for having the fuzzy feelings. :(

The co-worker has asked me before if I had a boyfriend, months ago, I want to say back in October...and I usually don't have a problem, and happily say yes...but when he asked, it was my first time ever thinking "Damn it...why?!" and usually people leave me alone and don't say anything after that, but when I did say "Yeah..." his reply was "that just sucks..." and he looked at me very oddly...I don't know what to do, I seriously don't know what to do...I haven't been able to sleep right, eat right, and if I think too long at one time, I feel like I need to puke. I find myself spending more time getting ready for work, fixing my hair, etc...just in case I see him, even though we usually work opposite shifts and on complete opposite sides, we do work together here and there...I truly just don't know what to do here, but I do know it's driving me insane.

Help?


Dee 5 years ago

wowww im glad there's more than just me in this situation....

I've known my current boyfriend since we were babies and i really do love him so much and we just started dating 4 months ago after a fling with another guy didnt work out. The thing is that I keep seeing this other guy everywhere I go and it weird how much we run into eachother. We had so much fun together when we had a thing and it was just an instant connection...I dont know what to do!


LENNY 5 years ago

PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey im 17 and my girlfriends 18, we been together just over 15 months. we'v been through a hard relation ship. it started with her being really clingly but i loved it we saw each other every day for about 2 mounths until i said we need to see our friends more and we are spending to much time together. by 3 mounths we was spending each night together and i still getting get to see my friends cause when i did shed have a go. but i love her so i stuck around i meen i gave me fair share to about stuff. but after telling her we see to much of each other. 6 mounths further down the line we still see each other everyday. so i put my foot down and said we need some time apart and she thought i was breaking up with her. we now have 2 nights apart i see my friends when ever i want weather she likes it or not but i still see her everyday.

latly my sissters friend has been staying over and i got quite close to her (my sissters friend) shes 21 and really nice better looking then my girlfriend. i dont really know what to do. i been through dizzzy spells where iv thought i liked other people and nearly left my girlfriend before but never this bad and this is the frist time i dont know that the other girl likes me. i have never cheated and dont intend to however talk to this girl in the car today i just wanted to kiss her. me and my girlfriend are going through a rough patch at the moment as well. but not only do i not know if i want to be with her i might want to be with this other girl. i know i love my girlfriend but dont want to hurt her or do the wrong thing. just i think im just pissed cause she wouldnt give me any space until i put my foot down and now she still does it.

Should i wait and see if she changes or leave her and proply still not try anything with the other girl, even though i really want to.????????

PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111


confused 5 years ago

I think im in the same situation, i have been with my boy for 4 months, and it's long distance.

i really loved him the first time i met him, but then he started getting restrictive about hanging out with my friends and stuff, even though im not intending of doing anything. theyre just friends that i see every week. i talk to him every single day since well, it is long distance, and we dont get to see each other physically often.

but in my new circle of friends, ive been hanging around with this guy, who always gives me lifts to places, we share the same passion when it comes to music and belief as well. we've always discussed and shared things to each other. we laugh so much,joke around and stuff. but the thing is, i dont know if he feels the same towards me, because he knows im taken.

I dunno what to do...


Confused ... 5 years ago

I'm 17, i have a a girlfriend now. But i use to really love this one girl,she took my heart away, we didnt got together back then, i was too stupid as i missed a few of my chances. I still remember once when one of our friends came back from overseas to visit.We (The gang) were hanging out at a beautiful park, before we start eating, she said to her friend, 'Im bored, i wonder who is willing to take me out for a walk' yea..it was hell obvious that she was hinting me, but i was so stupid and ignored her, i admit i was a pussy.After that, she thought that i didnt hear her, so she ASKED ME BY HERSELF! 'hey, can you take me for a walk?' i said, alright, but wait.after i finish eating...Hell, thats the biggest mistake ive ever done in my life.I regret for everything.Soon enough,somehow, things between me and her calmed down.we never really did talk anymore.but ofcouse i know she likes me, and i still do love her very much.later on, one of her friends fell for me(my Current Gf) she is nice, pretty, funny, cute, very caring,smart.I don't know how, but i fell for her quite fast,somehow..the reason is i thought that me and my 1st first will never be.thats why i fell for this girl, things are going really well for us back then. She fell for someoneelse too, but..recently, i feel different with my girlfriend, every once in awhile, i'll think of her.I even cried the hell outta myself.Now, i think that she likes me,actually kinda long ago,just that she doesnt show it.somehow, i can feel it.But i already have a gf that LOVES ME! seriously,i feel really bad right now.my gf is really good to me.and this is how i repay her? ..fck my life.This sucks..i really don't know what to do now.The worst thing? my gf and this girl are BEST FRIENDS. Fck.i just gotta say this, I love you baby.but im sorry..i love her too......I thought of committing suicide....because i really didnt wanna hurt anyone ....im sorry....


Anon 5 years ago

Okay so same situation. I've been with my boyfriend for about 5 years or so. We took a break because at about year 2 I messed up, but he wanted to stay with me. I was the one who said we should take the break because I wanted him to try to find someone else and be happy. So here we are and it's been a little 2 years or so since we got back together. Now due to my guilt of the pain I had caused him I told him he could go out and "play" with other females as long as he was100% honest with me. He's taken advantage of it a few times. Yes it makes me feel slightly jealous, but it makes him happy. Now he's the jealous type. So there's this guy at my work, who from the moment I saw him I was drawn to him. It's so weird. I'm feeling things I haven't felt in years. I'm seeing a look in my eyes that I thought was lost forever and it's all because I've been talking to this guy. Now the very first day we texted eachother, and it was only friendly, my boyfriend got super jealous and argued with me late into the night until I agreed to not talk to dude outside of work. Well I still talk to dude. Why? Because if my boyfriend can do more than talking, I can talk. Well so this guy knows I like him and I'm pretty certain he likes me too because we generate similar feelings within eachother. Just thinking about him gives me a feeling of like electricity in my heart and stomach. I can talk to him so easily. I don't feel like I'm going to say something wrong, and when I do it's after the fact of saying it. Rather than when I'm with my boyfriend I don't know what to say because he doesn't seem interested or I'm afraid I'll say something that'll make him look at me as if I'm stupid or make him upset. Now don't get me wrong. My boyfriend is an absolutely wonderful guy. I can't imagine my life without him in it in some way. It's just I know I don't make him happy anymore and I'm rather unhappy because I still feel that I'm being punished for the mistake I had made despite me trying to make up for it.


need help 5 years ago

i have a girlfreind who i really really like but their is a girl who everytime i see her i fall for her again and again i have missed two chances with her now but i think i could get a third what do i do (remember i still really like the girl im seeing but not 100% sure which i like more) HELP PLEASE.


i THINK i know what i have to do... :/ 5 years ago

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years.. he's a nice guy, but not very intelligent or ambitious... and I'm very motivated, and I concider myself quite intellegent. I'm only ninetee.. so is my boyfriend... This new guy I met is.. older than me.. He's very intellegent, we have the same view on religion (which I do not have with my current boyfriend)... The new guy is in a relationship, but he feels like its failing fast.. because she's just as much older than him, as he is me.. He feels young and like he will only be her caretaker when her health gets worse. He's expressed just as strong feelings for me as I have for him. My boyfriend and I fight everyday, but it is impossible for me to leave him until he gets his own place. As of now he's living with my brother and I don't want to make it awkward by breaking up with him while he's still there. I feel its necessary because he's bringing me down and my health is taking a beating because of all the stress he's imposed on me from losing his grants for school because he.. well he failed out. He says he plans on going back after a year off to try again,.. but the chances of that are seriously low. I don't think about my boyfriend when I'm with him...I think about the other guy... the other guy told me he does the same... well.. cause his girlfriend no longer interests him. The only problem the other guy has is that he feels like I may doubt him.. because he doens't want to do the same thing to me two more years down the road. Well, while it is possible for me to develope that doubt, I don't feel it now... I feel bad because I can't leave my boyfriend yet.. he feels bad cause he can't leave his girlfriend yet either. We understand eachother's situations...and while they suck, we can't help but be attracted to each other. Hes been completely respectful of my ABSOLUTELY NO CHEATING policy.... I can't do it because I know how much it hurts.. and all my brothers did it to thier wives before they were married..and I want a better relationship foundation than that. Even if I wouldn't be cheating on the one I'll be with for the rest of my life.. I would instil in him the same doubt , that what if she does the same to me?.. I don't want that.. he doesnt want that. We feel bad that we have to keep this from our boyfriend/girlfriend... but we can't leave them or things will fall apart. He'd be out of a place to stay... cause he lives with her , but he's gonna move into the dorms this fall. Thats when he'll break up with her... I don't know when I'll be able to break up with my boyfriend because now he wants to stay with my brother until october.. and I don't know if I can handle that long. To make things worse my two best girl friends have both told me that I need to stay with my current boyfriend. (reguardless of my unhappiness with him).. He even feels like we're drifting appart.. and it feels like he's always trying to back me into some corner, and trap me there. I just want to tell him, if you feel like we're not working out then just leave already. He's constantly staying at my place, but he pays rent at my brothers. I pay rent for my room, but he always wants me to stay at my brothers with him. My brother gets mad at ME because I do not pay him rent yet I'm there a lot. Things just seem like they'd be so much better without my boyfriend around.

the things I want, but don't get from him are:

-an intellectual converssation everynow and then

-a substancially pleasing physical relationship

-less fighting

-less stress placed on me for his mess ups

-I don't want to be his crutch anymore.

things the other guy has offered me:

- intellectual stimulation

-... he's suggested that.... he's physically able *ahem*

-we agree on everything. and when I say everything, I mean it.

-He understands what its like to be a crutch, and to need one, so he wants to finish school (which his girlfriend doesnt understand (nor does mine about me)) which I admire very much in him.

-He's told me how beautiful I am, everyday. My boyfriend doesnt do that maybe once a week.

-he likes that I'm a ..curvacious woman.

-I love how blatently honest he is with me. (my boyfriend checks my phone at night when he thinks I'm asleep).

have I proven my point? I'm not happy. I want change. Am I wrong for needing it?

that is all.


GoingCrazy 5 years ago

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years.. I'm 19 years old and very headstrong when it comes to what I want. I've always had this perfect image of my future and when I met my current BF everything just fell into place. We are fantastic together and everyone (including me most of the time) is convinced we will get married. we've talked about it and I have a hard time seeing myself with anyone else

About a year ago I met another guy...

I knew him for two days and it was the strangest feeling I've ever had. I wanted him... BAD! I felt different when I was with him than I'd ever felt, but I still absolutely love my BF. He went back home and we talked constantly. I got butterflies when he talked about moving back and he always expressed the same feelings.

Well he's back. When I'm with my current BF I don't want anything else. When I'm with the other guy I don't want anyone else... but I feel guilty all the time thinking about my BF and what it would do to him If I left him. and there's the saying "don' tleave the person you love for the person you like because they will leave you for someone they like."

I'm SO STUCK!!! Do I think about how I feel now or my future or leave them both alone?

HELP!


Jenna 5 years ago

Wow. I've found similar stories to what I'm currently going through. But I really need advice!! Yes, I'm young and in high school but it's still bothering me. I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now and a couple weeks ago i almost broke up with him. He doesn't do anything wrong. Ever. He's sweet, caring, loving, funny, and nice to be around. We were best friends for 2 years before we dated and we kinda just jumped into it. Well everything was going great until my ex boyfriend started talking to me again and hanging out with me a little. I've always had feelings for him deep down and they will always be there, but whenever he's around, he sparks up those feelings and it makes me rethink my relationship with my boyfriend. It makes me feel terrible, but my ex was my first love from middle school and we dated for 8 months. I've had 2 boyfriends after him and my current relationship is my 3rd, and he hasn't dated anyone. We just recently hungout and he just steals my heart whenever I'm around him. The thing I love about relationships is the SPARK. I don't feel a spark with my current boyfriend. I love him, but I'm not IN LOVE with him (but he is with me..). I feel like my ex may have the same feelings as I do...and I just feel STUCK like many other women on this page. When I almost brokeup with my boyfriend a little ago, i was saying how there's no spark and I feel like we're just great friends. He was sooo hurt and was almost crying. We walked down a road during a pretty sunset, and he points to the sunset and shouts "see! These are the moments that make me love you!" and it just strangled my heart because he was so hurt...i was crying real hard and he said "you have to want the spark in our relationship. you have to try to get that spark again." And so I agreed to work on that. It kinda worked, until my ex came back into my thoughts. Please help..


Nikki 5 years ago

Ok here it goes, I've been with my bf for 7 years were not engaged and font have any kids and have Been finding it difficult at the min as he has two jobs and no time to spend with me. The thing is I think I have fallen for a guy in work I have worked with him 4 years and we have such a laugh togeather and he really like me too. I don't think I cam walk away from my bf as it will break his heart should I move job and try to move on?


Andreas 5 years ago

Okay, my story is weird I have been with my girlfriend for about 5 months, but she is 2 years younger then me. At school I am continuously insulted for the age difference but the real problem is that when i say things she may not understand me and she also lacks the maturity. I met another girl a few days ago and fell in love with her at first sight, we talked for a bit and yeah, now i really wanna go out with her, because she is the same age as me and we have a bit more in common, I am planning to tell her I have feelings for her, because i cant stop thinking about her. I know this will be harsh and my previous gf will not take it well but hopefully she will find someone else within her year.

Please comment what you think


LeCayde 5 years ago

Hmm. Ive been dating for four months, now , out of nowhere, a girl appeared (the sister of my best two friends) and we fell in love with eachother. She also has a relationship from about 4 months. We both have feelings for eachother. And you know.. I dont want this to end. The feeling is too great. I dont want it to end.. My current gf is a great girl... but I dont know what will happen. I was told that you can die, just by walking on the street, a rock can fall down from a roof, right on yer head. and that would be it. life is too short. Live life, and enjoy it. theres alot of fish in the sea they say. If u have a hard time getting a relationship, dont waste what u got going on now. Think about your own future, and see what will make you happiest!... if u dont know.. then find out.


What To Do... 5 years ago

I can't believe that so many people have the same problem as myself. Though mine just happened two days ago. I have been with my girlfriend for 9 months on this very day. But sadly there just hasn't been the same drive as before... I know there are SO many things wrong in this relationship. Ive just become numb to them all. The problem here is... This past friday.. I had a party at my Dad's place with my best friends. One my friends brought his girlfriend and one of his other best friends. I before hand had talked to his other friend a little bit and developed a small crush on her. Nothing big. Nothing I would ever consider leaving my girl over. Until What happened later. Later on... I cheated on my GF. And not only that, but there was an emotional experience in there turning my "little crush" into so much more. I would NEVER have cheated on my girlfriend sober! So I told my girlfriend the next day cause i have NEVER lied to her and i wasnt going to start now. Now me and her are taking a break to get our heads on straight. I just dont know what to do. I love my gf so so much! But I have a feeling I'd be happier with this other girl... I dont know what to think or do.. I dont want to hurt anyone... I just wanna do whats best for everyone :(


juju 5 years ago

I have this problem as well, I still love my boyfriend, but this I love the other guy too. and it's also a problem that my bf and he are friends, so if I break up and go for the other guy, they will probably stop being friends, and I don't want that to happen.

I still don't know what to do, I'm getting more and more anoyed by everything my bf does. but thats how he's always been, why am I getting anoyed now?

Who am I supposed to be with?


samay 5 years ago

same problem here. i m having 4 years of relationship with my girlfriend. we first met in college. but after completing graduation we got job in different cities so we moved to different places. so now this is a kind of long-distance relationship. But after coming here i fell in love with some other gal who had just broke-up with her boyfren. somehow we came closer and closer n now i strongly feel for this gal.Sometimes she says that she also loves me but next moment says that she loves her x-boyfren more than me. I really want to get along with dis current gal but i also dont want to hurt my previous galfren because she loves me alot. I even have told my previous gf that i have fallen in love with some other gal but she doesnt let me to go away her(current gf). i dont knw what to do... i m so confused!!!! please if sum1 reads these lines then atleast try to suggest me what shud i do.


Help!! 5 years ago

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and have been living with him for almost a year. I am beginning to find him irritating and difficult and we don't seem to be able to have a conversation without arguing. Though I feel I try my best to be nice to him and helpful, he seems to have forgotten to do the same for me. He gets pathetic about doing things (for instance, dealing with his finances etc), and I have to do them for him. He often gets drunk, too, when he is home on his own.

Recently, we went to visit my boyfriend's brother for a long weekend and then he came to stay with us for a long weekend 2 weeks later. I'd met him several times before but had never really got to know him until then. He was so kind and so capable and so cheerful that soon I started to really like him and then love him. He is also better looking, younger, fitter, and probably cleverer than my boyfriend, and has a better job...

We went to a ceilidh while he was here, with members of my boyfriend's and his extended family. I didn't know anyone except them and I had asked my boyfriend not to leave me on my own too much as it would be awkward. However, he disappeared off outside to smoke for over an hour and I couldn't find him. His brother was really good and included me in his conversations etc and I ended up doing all the dances with him, and we went for a walk outside. I only danced with my boyfriend once all evening.

I haven't said anything to my boyfriend's brother about how I feel but I can't stop thinking about him, and I can't help thinking he seems to feel the same way - if he phones for my boyfriend it gives me the goosebumps and the butterflies, I dream about him at night. When my boyfriend is irritating me all I can think of is his brother. I see his face in my mind's eye.

I don't know what to do because I can't leave my boyfriend for his brother as his family would never accept me, and I would feel far too guilty. I would not want to let my boyfriend down as I know he loves me. On the other hand, I couldn't have a relationship with his brother in secret as it would not be fair on his brother, as he does not have a partner. But my relationship with my boyfriend seems so dull now!

Also, I want to have children, and I don't want to have to start a whole new relationship again before I can do that. On the other hand, if I have children, that will mean I am committing myself to a relationship which I am not sure fulfils my needs.

What shall I do?

Will I get over it, or should I move on from my current boyfriend?


lorry 5 years ago

same situation here too...i have a boyfriend for over 8 years...i have 21 years old...so im with him since i had 13 years old...i was a kid when i meet him...but now i am grow up...i love him because is my first guy my first love...but i meet an other guy now...and before i meet him i thought i have all i want im happy i had plans marriage and so on...and now im confuse i dont know what i want i dont know with who i want to be...if i break up with my 8 years bf i will kill him...but i cant stay with him only because i feel sorry for him right?im in love with the other guy...i wanna live my life...i wanna see how it will be with somebody else...is this wrong?im selfish? i love my bf but i think i cant be happy with him anymore because i fond happiness somewhere else...i never thought i could feel this...its so hard to choose...my happiness or his?


Ariel 5 years ago

Ok this is bothering me so much. I have a bf but my ex came back to me but with him I feel like a 2nd choice cuz he ditched me for his ex when we were dating and then he called it off and came back to me. There's also a guy that makes me feel like option 2. Then this one guy who talks about sex to much (not with me just in general). BUT here's the catch I REALLY have a thing for the first guy's cousin who I have met but haven't hung out much but I feel bad cuz I'd rather talk to him then my bf. My bf just doesn't seem like he cares, I told him I'm not sure if I love him yet cuz we've only been together for 4 weeks and he just changed the subject. And I don't feel I can be honest with him. Please help I'm 15 idk what I'm doing and I need help!!:(


Clare 5 years ago

This is so bad. I am 19 and I think I might be in love with someone I don't even know. I have a boyfriend, together for 1 year 6month, been through the works to be with each other. We was a distant couple, I had to leave everything I knew and move to a different country to be with him. But now I like a boy that I have been talking to via the computer. We have been talking daily for about a year now. Thing is, my current boyfriend KNOWS I like this guy. I have told him everything but he doesn't understand how serious it is. I'm considering running off back home to met this guy. I don't think I will but I'm always gunna be thinking 'what if?' if I don't. The guy probably don't like me back but I have told him my darkest secrets and he still wants to met up one day. If he did like me I would rather be with him, because me and my boyfriend are lacking too much as a couple (no communication, no excitement, no physical relationship atm)don't worry! I have told him all this as-well, I'm very open with him. I want more than what I have. I feel so selfish :/ I hope it all passes out and everything gets better but..... :/


Confused 5 years ago

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 months and it hasn't gotten serious at all! We've kissed once and it's not that much of a relationship! Yes, I'm 13 and nobody really believes it should be serious but before dating my boyfriend I met a friend who I fell in love with! I started dating my boyfriend as a distraction in hopes to get over my friend but all it's done is cause a big mess! I don't love my boyfriend even if I tell him I do and I miss my friend so much! Another problem is my friend will sometimes throw me signals then be totally "friend zone" with me! He doesn't know I like him and I'm not sure if he should know. It's been 5 months since I fell for him so I'm having a hard time. My friend is perfect in my eyes and I couldn't see myself happier with anyone else! My boyfriend and I have too many unresolved problems to be happy! I hate to hurt people especially my boyfriend because of his past with other girls! I still have no idea what to do! Wish me luck?


This is hard! 5 years ago

I am like the opposite to everyone here, I am that "someone else"...I went to visit one of my really good friends about 2 months ago, she lives about an hour plane ride away from me. She told me that I would meet her partner who lives about a 3hr drive from hers. We met and stayed all together for a week. My friends partner started to flirt with me while she was out or wasn't looking and was getting really close to me. I acted on that and started to flirt back. After I arrived back home my friends partner started to text me and say they had feelings for me.. I said the same. we have been getting along great and came to visit me...we kissed, it felt so right and the feeling is mutual. They have been having big problems with there relationship and fighting all the time. My friends partner and I want to be together but The thing is my friend wouldnt take this well at all and we both have fears that self harm might come into play. This is so hard because we want to be together but then we dont want any thing to happpen to my friend. My friends partner said that she would break up with my friend for me but its so complicated HELP ME!


Gabby 5 years ago

So many people are in the same situation as I am. Unfortunately, i have not seen anyone posting a solution. Well, thanks for sharing your story. Here's mine. I have dated my boyfriend for 2 yrs, I still love him to death. I met this new guy from work, had a crush on him, but lately, i felt like my feelings for him are gone. I see him more like a friend, someone i really enjoy talking, killing time, and joking around. But I can't imagine leaving my boyfriend for this guy because he has a few characteristics that some of my exes have, and I would not enjoy dating someone like this. But he's a super cool friend. The problem is, he is now really likes me. He admits it a few times and he even kissed me. I know this is crossing the line, and I don't wanna ruin the relationship with my boyfriend. So, i don't know whether I should give up this friend or still befriend with him. Maybe seeing each other less often would help? If someone has a solution, please advise.


Melo 5 years ago

This is such an old blog thing, but I'm feeling the same way. I have a friend that I'm getting light feelings for, but it's only feelings that I miss having with my current love. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and two months and it's been probably the most successful relationship I've been in ever. We haven't fought, his family accepts me, and everything is just great. But I feel like there's no real time in the world for us and it hurts a little. He really does a lot to see me happy, but I don't wanna ask of more. All I'm really missing is that feeling that I'm high off of love or something. Like when you just get in a relationship and you're really happy because you found someone. That's all I miss. And I don't know how to tell him. And I really don't want to hurt the guy who I have small feelings for because he's really really nice. He's not like a douche or anything because if he was, I'd just blow him off. But he's not. And I hate to hurt people who are really nice, even just for small things like this, because really, it's small. There are many things in this world that could be of bigger issues. Just this one happens to be a small one getting to me a little. But what do i do? I don't want to lose my boyfriend. Seriously, I don't. I actually don't think I'd find someone who's given me all of their love possible. I just miss the feeling of being in love with someone new. It's like a spark gone lost. I don't want to confront him about this guy because it'll hurt him so much. Not just a little, but a lot because I'm the only girlfriend he's ever had that's been with him this long. I don't hurt him. I just want to know what I can do to make it better. To make that spark come back to life. Can someone help me? I'm sorry this is so long but I really want someone to help me out a little.


In pain 5 years ago

Please help me

I'm really in love with this girl an we've know eachother a long time and during the summer we started growing apart then when we started talking again she's changed so much and we hardly see eachother then I started hanging out with her sister as we have a few classes together and I've started likeing her we have so much in common and she makes me happy but I feel guilty to please will someone help me


-_- crap 5 years ago

well...solution: go with your gut! im in the same boat here as well. And my guts not quite sure yet what to do, but once it is. im going for it, which ever it may be. Life is all about learning from mistakes and taking chances right? GO!


In pain 5 years ago

My gut says that you can't just leave the first girl but you love the other girl an my gut says I shouldn't have feelings for the second girl as she's the first girls sister


Panda 5 years ago

I am in a relationship with my bf for 2 years but for all 2 years I am in love with his friend, whom I met first. I tried to confess my feelings for his friend 2 years ago but he didn't accept or reject me. So now I am regretting that I should have waited a little longer instead of dating my boyfriend. I do like my bf but not the same feelings that I have for his friend. What should I do?


Barbie 5 years ago

well i'm 19 gonna be 20 soon.i have the same problem i guess,i have been in a relationship for 6 months but i never loved him.i liked my boyfriend a lot.he was 1 of my best friends.we were friends for 5 years.i just couldn't say no to him.i thought with the time i will have feelings for him.but in the mean time i met this guy who is so perfect.i fell for him from the 1st sight.he is a bit older than me (21 years older to me).but i think i have a major crush on him.we text a lot.i think even he likes me.he has mentioned he wishes i was born a bit earlier many times.also after i said i still like him he asks whether i would like him after he gets more older after few years.so obviously even he have feelings for me right??????

guys girls please help me out both the guys are nice.very kind n well mannered guys.can't afford to loose either of them but i love to be with the older guy more because we have lot in common n i have feelings for him.he is attractive my ideal dream guy!

what should i do? help me out to pick one


lolly 5 years ago

iv been with my bf nearly a year but he moved 2 canada a month ago and we said we'd give a shot of the long distance relationship, he is a very loyall and trusth worthy person and id never doubt him,but its me!! ther's this 1 guy who iv known my whole life nd iv kissed him a few times in the past we met up last nif=ght and talked for hours he's the most amazing person iv ever met he wants to meet again but i do sincerly love my boyfriend but i feel like iv connected with the other soo much more ise worth the risk?


cp 5 years ago

Wow, this article REALLY helped me. Me and my girlfreind have been dating for almost two years now, but I've started to have some feelings for one of my best freinds. I'm not entirely sure what brought it on, it just sort of happened. This article helped me alot though, and I think I've decided to stay with my girlfreind and love my other freind in a different way, (although I have to admit, I'm gonna be a little jelous when she eventually gets a boyfriend). Thanks for the help.


storm 5 years ago

I've been with my bf for two and a half years and although I feel like we're best friends, our r/ship has lost its spark. I'm not attracted to him anymore... and the worst part is I've recently met someone else, and there was an instant connection. I can tell he really likes me, but I don't want to hurt my bf by cheating. Is it selfish to want both?


april_green23@yahoo.com 5 years ago

Hi Ive been in a relationship with my current bf for 4 and a half years now. Our relationship had its own ups and downs. I was his first longest relationship ever. It wasnt so bad we've been through a lot. His happy, Im happy.. but most of the time Im unhappy. All this years Ive kept waiting for him to do something romantic and still waiting... Because of this I keep falling for someone who is always there to go out with me or just there to keep me company. My bf was honest enough to tell me that he really doesnt know what are the things to do in a relationship... Doesnt that come by instict? do you really have to go to school and take a class "What do you do in a relationship101". Now there's this guy AGAIN that im falling for super bad thing is I DO WANNA FALL FOR HIM so I could have an excuse to break up with my bf... I know its mean and not right. But what better could I do? Im only human... I do LOVE him but NOT IN LOVE with him. Ive tried everything to make this relationship work but the same problem is still there. No spark, no flirting, no chemistry, heck he even visits me once a week! Im tired and i just want to be content with someone. Sad thing is Im so determined to this "other guy" to know if he likes me too and IF HE DOES I might leave my current bf for good.

IS THIS A GOOD DECISION? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE IM BEGGING SOMEONE TO HELP ME....

*sorry for the poor english*


Indecisive 5 years ago

This is similar to me. I'm in highschool, and I'm pretty sure I'm in love with my current boyfriend of 9 months . But I been lately thinking about my bestfriend TOO often. I feel like I'm starting to like him also. I wouldn't wanna leave my current boyfriend though. However, my bestfriend has stopped talking to me because he feels like we shouldn't be friends if he's gonna catch feelings and not be able to be with me. But I feel almost incomplete without him in my life. I don't know what to do.


decided 5 years ago

I have read most of the postings and come to realize that to fix the issue, first analyze whether you like someone or unconiditionally love someone. When it comes to love it is not being selfish unless your married.

I am in the same situation like most here and am trying to understand my feelings as well. I am 20 years old and have been in a relationship for 5 years and living together 2.5 yrs, no kids. I like my gf, I care and did not want this to happend but I understand I will have to do the inevitable. As for the other girl, well like most again I think of her crazy etc... I even mess up at work often, dont sleep, etc... even now I can't help it...


im just not sure anymore 4 years ago

im 23 yrs old. ive been with my girlfriend for about a year. i love her so much and i tell her every day. i recently met this girl however, i asked for her number because we had a great conversation and she gave it to me. since then, i just cant get her off my mind. we are into the same things and i just have to talk to her everyday or i feel lonely. ive been trying to just let it go for a while now but i just cant seem to do it. i havent told this girl that i like her yet but im sure she knows. i believe that everything happens for a reason. i feel like im going to explode if i dont get to see her again. i didnt feel this way about my girlfriend when we met. i cant hurt her but i cant let this girl go either. i thought that i knew what i wanted but im just not sure anymore. i have a movie date with this girl just to hang out but i guess ill see how i really feel when its over. wish me luck.


Johnathan 4 years ago

i think im in the same situation as well,

i met this girl about a month ago and everything is going really well... but recently shes been acting wierd and wanting to leave me and saying she will be a whore at clubs and she wil leave me but 5 mins later she says no and still wants to stay.. i say go ahead beause i dont know how to deal with it.. i hope this is just a phase because i get sad when she says shes gonna leave me

also on that note... she calls me names like idoit, stupid and says y r u even saything that for? i think its a joke but really i dont know wat to thnk of it?..

so to put this all together i say i like this other girl just to make her upset and she takes it seriously, i get this huge rush of joy when she gets jelous because i know she still cares about me.


LivvyDee 4 years ago

iv been with my boyfriend for a year but recently we have argued everyday and then i met this guy who iv completely fallen for but yet dnt wanna hurt anyone this is sooo difficult


Bob 4 years ago

I was in love with this girl and finally came to terms with not being able to be with her. After her I was depressed and lonely for over a year. Finally I found someone that I love, my current girlfriend, and now I am starting to fall out of love with her. I hate it. I always think about the girl I used to love and how I have lost love for my girlfriend.


halimat 4 years ago

cool


Halimat 4 years ago

Thats not nice.

What you hvae to say is"Sorry, l really like you but l kinda like this boy! I am really sorry! Please can we both be friends? Please! But you will always be somewhere in my heart!I love you loads!"

Hope that helps!

I am really sorry for you!

So l hope that help!

Warning:

Don't brake up with them by some one else or phone!

Say it by face!

Because, the might not understand!

Even if you are texting you can not just say sorry l am braking up with you! You have to explain! x

Hope that was helpful! x


Lissa 4 years ago

I feel like such an awful person! I have the same problem. I really liked this guy at the start of the year but he cheated on me so I tried moving on and I did through my current boyfriend, but I keep thinking about the guy who cheated on me and recently we have been talking and he wants a second chance and I want to give him one because I would do anything for him. Now I have no idea what to do!

please help ! x


Sarah 4 years ago

Wow I honestly thought I was the only one in this position.

In High school I fell in love with this boy Vincent, I was not available but he was. We worked together and would always flirt. But one day he just disappeared. No goodbye or anything.

So I eventually broke up with the guy I was dating at the time. Moved to another state. I started seeing this really sweet guy Ryan. We dated for 2 years and are now engaged.

The only bad thing is Vincent made contact with me. Over facebook. As soon as I saw his messages I felt just how I did back in high school. I know I shouldn't have these feelings but I do. I love Ryan and Vincent.

I hate this position I'm in.


ohshit 4 years ago

emotions are so complicated right now. I have been dating this guy for 2 years now, legit best guy ever, we never fight, he is my bestfriend, wake up to his good morning beautiful texts every single day, he comes to my work at 11, just to walk me home. NOW, suddenly i have feelings for this guy at my work, and we text all the time right now, but i have no idea what his feelings are towards me, but a part of me wants him, but i already have one of the best guys out there, but we havent really been able to spend alot of time together recently and that is when i got these feelings so maybe i just felt distant to the boy im dating now, or i want something new cause i am young, and a part of me doesnt want to only date one man for the rest of my life, but he is just so harmless that i dont want to hurt him :(...

sorry for writing a novel. feels nice to get it out to somebody.


Paula 4 years ago

Wow, didn't realise how many people feel the same as I do!

Im in a 19 month relationship. I recently went to the annual funfair in my city and met a charming guy who was working on one of the game stalls, we got talking and he made such a fuss at getting my number. He made me feel like I was the only girl in the world. 2 days later, I went back and we talked even more and I felt the same. I dont feel like I love my current boyfriend anymore, I have tried to finish it numberous times but he always cries and pressures me to take him back.

I dont know if I really like this new guy or if I just like the attention. Im 17 and my current boyfriend is my only serious relationship. Help! What do I do? :S!


Secret 4 years ago

I have the same issue kinda....I have been with my bf for 3 years and he keeps talkin about marriage and if it was like six months ago I so woulda!! But since then I have completely lost all interest in him!! We live together and yet we don't ever hang out or sleep in the same bed! We are never even in the same room with each other!! I do love him but I'm not in love with him any longer! I no this is horrible but I wanna leave him but can't cuz he gave me his car because I don't have one! And we live together so if I leave I lose the car n the house n the money!! I no that is a horrible reason to stay but I have nothing! And I'm not workin cuz I'm on disability cuz I have to have back surgery!! But I also met someone else about two months ago over the summer! At the end if the summer me n him were inseparable we did everything together!! He had fun we laughed, we hung out!! It was amazing!! I haven't had something like that in so long!! He made me feel so special!! So we became friends on Facebook and I got his phone number and ever since I ask for it we text everyday!! There is not a day we don't text!!! I have gone to see him almost every weekend since the summer!! Cuz he lives 2 hrs away!! But about like 3 weeks ago we finally confused that we are in love with each other! I told my secret love that I wanna leave my bf but I would lose everything and he told me to stay and save as much money as I can then to leave him! Cuz he will wait for me!! But I'm so confused!! We haven't even kissed or anything cuz I don't wanna cheat on my bf!! But everytime I kiss my bf I think of my secret love!!! Me n my bf don't even make love or anything and I'm sure if we did I would think of my secret love! I dream about my secret love every night!! I love him so much!! I can't see me not textin him everyday or seeing him every weekend!! And my secret love wants me to kiss him and do naughty things and I wanna I really really really wanna but I don't wanna cheat I can't!! My life was ruined by stupid guys cheatin on me!!! So I don't wanna but idk if I will be able to control myself the next time I see him!! Cuz he has started to text me naughty things!! And since I havent had any sexual contact I'm goin crazy!! And I think I'm goin to explode when I see him!!! Does any one have any advice as to what I should do?? Please help me!!!


Life is not easy 4 years ago

I am 32, when i was younger i didnt have any serious relationships because i could not find the type of girl i wanted...i was quite patient i thought in searching but at age 24 i gave up and decided that my "dream girl" did not exist. So i found someone who i really liked and then would fall in love with. That happened and i have been with my current partner for 7 yrs...we are engaged and have recently had a baby boy (5mth old). Well what do u think has happened 4 weeks ago..i meet this new girl we instantly become great friends, we have so much in common and within 3weeks we were already calling each other best friends for life. This week we have both fallen in love for each other...she really wants to be with me but doesnt want to be a homewrecker, i believe i have finally found my "dream girl" but is it too late?? My heart longs for something much more than just friendship with my new best friend and she thinks the same way. We struggle to keep our hands off each other when we are alone. I will need to make a decision one way or the other soon i know...but what to do?? option 1: Serve my self wants and start a new relationship with this new girl..in the process hurt my current partner and have my son grow up without a proper mum & dad relationship or option 2: change nothing, but then i will always be wondering... and i feel that i will be living a lie maybe??? i dont know...so confused :-/


Lost and Confused 4 years ago

I feel so much better after reading this and realising that some of you are in even a worse position that I am!

I've been with my gf for about 19 months now, we get on really well, hardly ever argue and I know she still really loves me. She's been going on about us moving out of my mother's house for a while now, and until recently I too wanted to move and although a little reluctant, we've been talking about the future, kids and marriage a lot.

The reason I feel a little reluctant is that in our relationship she's always pressured me into the next step of our relationship such as first becoming an item and moving in together. I think maybe this is because deep down, although I care a lot about her, the spark is just not there. Before I met her I was forever trying to find a gf as I was really lonely and never had much luck with the women. But a few days ago I saw a friend that I havn't known for long but I love everything about her. We have so much in common whereas my current gf and I are complete opposites. We ended up kissing and dancing all night and I felt that spark of emotion, the one where you get a knot in you're stomach and I can't stop thinking about her. Just thinking about her and havn't had this feeling for another girl for years. Infact I don't even think I've ever had this feeling with my current gf.

After reading this though I feel a lot less confused, I will continue with my current gf and truely find out if this new girl has the same feelings for me. If she does then I will have to end my current relationship. It will not be easy but I will always care for her and give her the space and time she needs to move out and start her life again. However, if my feelings are only one sided it would be stupid to break up the special relationship over what could just be a crush.

Good luck to you all and hope you all make the right decision.


feelinghorrible 4 years ago

im in a long distance relationship wit this guy me and him started dateing about some weeks later i met this guy that lives closer to me he asked me to date him and this may sound selfish but im now dateing him too i made that stupid mistake on my part i will admit im so stuck i have no idea what im going to do i like them both but i just cant let go of them i just need some help letting go of one of them without hurting him.the only thing i can look at is that the new guy is able to come see me and hang out but the other guy cant come see me as much as the new guy can but i just like them both so much and i just cant seem to sit myself down and let one of them go. HELP ME!! PLEASE!


Torn_in_two 4 years ago

I really need advice Im 17 ive been dating my boyfriend for a year now he's 20 we are the perfect couple he's the perfect guy. A christian, a gentleman, a best friend. We're the cliche of true love, we can finish each others sentences, sometimes he says outloud exaclty what is on my mind and vice versa. I know i want to spend the rest of my life with him i know my heart will always be his to keep...here comes the big BUT....The only issue is that i am 17 and even though i love him with all my heart i feel like im too young, ive never been in a longer relationship than this and he has so he's ready to settle down but theres a guy who i have always wanted to date i have known him even b4 my bf, and we always flirted and texted and talked and he's as gorgeous as my boyfriend but he's 21 so he always said once i turned 18 i'd be his and he would devote his attention and time to me. He hasn't dated anyone since we met my sophomore year in highschool because thats when he told me once i turned 18 he'd be mine...he's waited for me. I am in love with my bf and i can see me spending the rest of my life with him, having his children and being the grandmother of his grandchildren but how do i know this other boy who's waited for me won't make me happier? how do i know that i am choosing the right one?


alice 4 years ago

omg i just feel the same way as torn_in_two. i just love my bf and he's the best guy in the world and everything but i'm 18, i'm so young, and i want to be with this other guy i REALLY like and see if we would be better together!

why isn't love enough? i feel so sad. i feel like the initial flirting is gone and that's why i'm becoming interested in this other guy. but still, i feel like the worst gf. if only i could shut down these feelings..


marc 4 years ago

hey people im hoping someone can help.ive been with my current partner for nearly 10 years and engaged.about 3 months ago i met up with a friend who i rarely saw as she was with her guy and we never talked much when we were both out.anyway the texts got steamy and ended up going round to hers for sex.the more we talk and text the more ive fallen in love with her and 100% know she is besotted by me and told me she loves me like noone else she has.i want to be with her and no its not just a crush but just finding it hard to finish my current relationship as we both live together and have loads of shared stuff.im not one for hurting people and cant bring myself to end it.please help as its killing me knowing what to do :-(


confused-teen 4 years ago

Please help. Ive been dating my boyfriend for 4 months now, and well, he gets upset with me for the dumbest of reasons. We're recently gotten over a pretty brutal argument. My guy friend's birthday is soon and I suggested to kiss him for his birthday because he's been feeling pretty shitty lately. I ran this past my boyfriend and he was surprisingly cool with it... Little did he know, I only suggested the kiss because I've had this crush on my guy friend for a little while. So today, my guy friend tells me he likes me a lot, and I told him I liked him as well. But I would feel horrible if I left my boyfriend for my guy friend. I love my boyfriend but sometimes he makes me forget I love him because he can be so immature, rude and just plain stupid... However, my friend is sweet and playful. He's so kind but he kind of just got out of a relationship and I'm worried I'm just a rebound. I don't want to hurt either of them. What should I do?! Should I just not be in a relationship?!

Please help!


What_to_Do 4 years ago

I've been dealing with this problem for the past few months. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He's been really kind and sweet to me. But there's times where he's just really mean or demanding. I've been feeling like I'm weighting the pros and cons in this relationship for a while now. We constantly get into little arguments. I used to deal with the issues but now it seems that I'm emotionally drained from it. My boyfriend definitely shows he loves me unconditionally and does some things for me if they need to be done. But I'm really starting to get tired of his immaturity and the way he treats me sometimes. I am his first and only girlfriend so I understand that he doesn't have a lot of experience with handling things. But it's been 4 years, wouldn't he handle our issues better? We've been through a lot together and it's hard to imagine me forgetting all the experiences. I love him but I sometimes wonder if I'm in the relationship only to make him happy.

In the past few months I've started talking to one of my friends who went to the same elementary and middle school with me. I'm 20 now and I have not seen him since the seventh grade (until recently). He was the very first crush I ever had when I moved over here and always thought he was such a nice person but was always very shy. I came to find out that this friend of mine has had feelings for me since the second grade. He wanted to tell me his feelings in the seventh grade, before he moved but somehow I never received the letter he sent to me. Since then and now, it's been 8 years that we both wondered what happened to each other and how we were doing. After much talking via text message and some hanging out, I've developed feelings for him. At one point, I almost broke up with my boyfriend because my feelings to my friend were so strong.

My friend has some qualities that my boyfriend doesn't have. I've been in this confused state for a while now. My boyfriend can be very controlling sometimes and can belittle me through harsh words. My friend has never told me what to do but just to follow what makes me happy. I just don't know what to do anymore.


lovesick 4 years ago

Im 16 i've been with my boyfriend (18) for 2 years and we've always been so close, we argue a lot but it doesnt matter, it just how we are.

He goes to collage while im in my last year at high school and recently one of my best friends and me have sparked up an attraction. he makes me laugh and is so so sweet, i know im flirting and i wish i could stop :( he makes me feel attractive and intresting, and i get butterflies, wich i havent had since before my current boyfriend. i love my boyfriend, but i think we're going through a bad stage right now. i really can't stand the thought of him with someone else, or being in my situation wich is so unfair of me :( i dont know what to do, because i dont want to end things with my boyfriend after all we've been through, but the other boy makes me feel special and attractive, wich my boyfriend only rarely does now :( HELP ME


dheba 4 years ago

I am going to get married with my girlfriend within this two months everyone is preparing for my marriage and she loves me a lot. recently i met a girl in my cousins wedding and we talk a lot and now we have a kind of relation and she knows about my marriage she is asking me to leave her and get married but i am not being able to leave her and also i want to get married with my girlfriend but i dont want to hurt my recent girlfriend i want to keep both of them but i cant so i cant see any help and i m confused


Not Quite Settled 4 years ago

I'm glad I found this article and that others are feeling very similar, but still don't know what to do. I've been with my boyfriend for three years now, and before that somewhat waited three years for him to come around to the idea of us dating (I know, not always a good idea to do that). We started house hunting, have talked of marriage and the future, and I was completely happy as that "adorable couple" that people tell us we are.

Then, at a happy hour after a work holiday party, I struck up a conversation with a coworker who had been working in my dept for three months from another site. I had no intention other than just being friendly, but we quickly discovered we had very similar music interests. I left thinking nothing of it, but over the weekend he kept popping into my head. Over the next week, we exchanged emails and chats about music, things we liked to do, random stuff. I couldn't tell if it was flirting or not, but I found out he was leaving our dept at the end of the week, and he invited me to his send off get together. We ended up sneaking off and kissing. I met up with him the next day, before his flight back to the UK. Yup. London. Again, all we did was kiss. I couldn't go further, it was a line I couldn't cross. Since then, I can't stop thinking about him, and what life might be like if things were different. We both work in the same department in 2 different locations and are in great positions with our bosses, so neither can leave. He also has a girlfriend, though their relationship is not as long as mine.

I love my boyfriend dearly, and I cannot think of life without him right now. He's an amazing guy, and is ready (I think) to take the next step with me soonish. But, I've been panicking about it all since this whole thing happened. I thought I was ready for house buying, and kids, and marriage, and now I'm not sure I want to be totally settled. I know my boyfriend's traveling for work is playing a big part in this, because we were long distance for the first 2 years we were together. I'm so confused. I've invested so much with my boyfriend, and for years I hoped we'd get to this point. I just don't understand why no matter how much I throw myself into my current relationship, I find my mind wandering to the British guy. He's not as settled as my current bf, and the idea of us getting together seems exciting. But, that could be the thrill of new infatuation. Even if he moved here, we'd likely be in the same department and I know that'd be frowned upon. And there's so much uncertainty with this is it really worth giving up a long term relationship I thought I wanted for years?

I know I should just forget about it, and move forward with my boyfriend, and hopefully this dies down, but I don't want to wake up regretting either choice. Life is damn confusing, I swear.


youngNconfused 4 years ago

omg. reading these storries wow i realized im not fully alone. ive been with the love of my life for 3 years and im only 17. my boyfriend, age 18, who is currently in the military has been away for alomost half a year. a friend of mine who i hang out with most of my time has been there for me when i felt alone. i admit i fell for my friend but idk i feel like its just my feelings playing dumb. my friend admits he likes me too and now im in a knot. we still talk and hang out but i seemed to notice that we spend most of the time flirting. and honestly i like it. i jus havent had that attention in so long that i miss it. i love my boyfriend with all my heart and i believe that this guy is just filling the gaps i have inside when my boyfriend doesnt call and realize i still exist; its sad when he is over 1500miles away. ive never cheated on him and im not planning to, NEVER. Now, my friend and i are still hanging out and agreed to only be friends. and as for my bf and i, we have a huge future ahead of us where we agreed to be together and faithful. i love him so much. he is everything i can ever dream of. im lucky to have him.


jennie 4 years ago

hi i am falin 4 sum1 eles but he dont feel the same as it was bit fun but it got 2 much now am falin 4 him he likes me alot i think but he still not even over is ex wot shund i do as i dont no anymore i try 2 tell him but i am worry we lost are fredship cuse of mehelp


ConfusedGirl-.- 4 years ago

Ok heres the thing im in love with my boyfriend and i thought nothing could go wrong in the last few weeks we have gotten closer but during this time me and this guy who i am reall good friends with admitted he liked me and before i was with my boyfriend i had feelings for him but after spending more time with this guy i find i am more attracted to him, i dont know what to do about this cause i know its not fair on my boyfriend and the guilt is killing me ! and since this time me and my boyfriend although getting closer are having more arguments and he is really getting me down but with the other guy hes constantly sweet and he cheers me up and picks up the pieces whenever my boyfriend upsets me i honestly dont know what to do, another thing my boyfriend and me dated before and the last time he left me cause he liked another girl so maybe he will understand but to be honest i wasnt very unerstanding... wow this year doesnt seem to be having a great start.


JT 4 years ago

I love my personal trainer, she is however in an up and down relationship. She has a child but not to her current partner. I can never reveal my feelings to her while she is in a relationship. Even though she tells me all the time how bad it's becoming, all I can do is support her. To further burden her an confusing her by adding my emotional attachment to her would be grossly unfair. I cannot and will not be the reason or the wedge between her and her current partner. It's a hard decision but ultimately I believe it is the right decision. I see her almost every day, talk to her the days I don't. I believe deep down she also likes me, trusts me hence why she is so open about her life to me. I do feel bad that I have to hold back my openness to her (my feelings) but its what has to be done. Karma is very real, I have death with repercussions all my life. In the end being patient and being a good friend is all i can be right now. If it rips me apart inside then so be it. I can handle the sadness of my decision however I could not handle the sadness she would have if I made her feel like she made a mistake. Does that make any sense?


Deal braker 4 years ago

It's nice and sad to know there are so many people in the same situation as I am. I have been with my girl for over a year now, and one day I cheated on her with my ex. We didn't have sex, but we did kiss. I felt so weird after that. I had mixed feelings. I loved my ex when I broke up with her, but I felt I had to break up for my own reasons, and at the same time, I had strong feelings for my gf at the time.

So I decided to break up with my girl, and not tell her why. But she wanted to know why. After a couple of days of thinking, I decided she deserved to know the truth and I told her everything. She was so upset and cried her eyes out and left my car. Damn, that was the hardest thing I have ever done. I felt so bad I wanted to go back to her, but in reality I was more than confused.

Few days later we go back together, but I still confused. She did everything she could to forget the incident, but I couldn't and three days later I broke up with her again. Next day she calls me to meet me and I agree, she cried and asked my why.. I felt terrible and go back with her. Again, she acts like nothing happened, but again feel terrible and 3 days latter break up with her again and the break up was even worse. Right now I think it's better for me to be alone a few weeks and see what happens after.

Moral of the story, tell the truth and stick to what you are going to do. Do not go back with whom you are breaking up with just because you feel terrible. It's going to be worse at the end, so think of what you are going to do and do it, but be sure first so you won't have second thoughts. And, breakups are hard no matter what you do, it's just the way it is.


clara 4 years ago

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he woke me up @ 11:59pm and told me to do some things incantation my lover that left for long just call me non less than 1 hour of the sacrifice. gods of indianspell@yahoo.com most be praise for the wonderful help he render to my life, of a truth you Dr Shant Tami you are the best spell caster in the universe. every body try indianspell@yahoo.com and you we see the wonders of his gods, he can give you any lesbian/gay and any girl you ever want to be your girl friend.


alek 4 years ago

I have been married for 9 years. I meet someone online and I am attracted to him. He is attracted to me as well. We moved on but keep coming back. Now he found out that a girl he was messing with is pregnant. I have tried so hard to over come this attraction,but can't. Any help!


MikeW 4 years ago

I find myself in this exact situation. I have only been dating my GF for a month and we get along GREAT. But then I find out that a best friend of mine (who I thought was way out of my league) is in love with me. This girl (friend) is amazing. I have always admired her secretly and she is so beautiful, smart, driven. She is truly the perfect woman, but I really like my GF. I am so torn.


Berke Sanchez 4 years ago

Great things come to those who wait PATIENTLY!!! I am writing to tell the whole world finally, that my love Switz have really come back to me, a friend directed me to the SUN RISE TEMPLE of solution at first i was doubting , that it was just not going to work. I thought I would never love anyone again. I am only 36 but felt my life was over. I was so despondent. Then I i give sun rise spell a trier and placed an order for my personal love spell. Only 1 month later, but what seemed to me like forever, I developed a very positive relationship with a man I had known for years, just as a friend. There he was, right in front of me the whole time! If it were not for you, SUN RISE, I would never have thought of him being the one for me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, from a no longer lovelorn Berke Sanchez Words are not enough.contact the great man on sunrisespell@gmail.com


ally cat 4 years ago

Im sorta in that situation im inloe with this guy but everytime i go out wth friends i meet a guy who is totally awsome in every way and i fall inlove but as soon as i c my bf its like nothing else matters idk whats rong i love him more than anything i want to be with him.....but why am i feeling this way ith other guys


Unknown 4 years ago

I don't agree with everyone saying these people are selfish, if your not happy, your not happy. I think everyone has the right to choose how they wanna live and and who they wanna live life with. Nothing wrong with that. So do what makes you happy :)


jessica 4 years ago

my boyfriend is very close to me he never want to have a break up with me ilove my retionship so much he never want his ex girl friend back i gree with him i love my boyfriend so much i want my relationship so much


unknown 4 years ago

Let's just say this was me last month, my boyfriend and i at that point in time were having a lot of fights and disagreements and held resentments against each other, we couldn't talk or look at each other, anyway's i ended up liking someone at my job, left my job to be with him and now that i have him i realized that he's not what i wanted or maybe it was all happening too fast. However this guy really likes me, and i hate to admit it but i think i was in lust. i really hate myself now, but the good thing is my ex knows everything and him and i are good friends now and have a better relationship as friends.


Sarah 4 years ago

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Youre not alone 4 years ago

There are many people with this problem.

No one here is alone.


Daniel 4 years ago

So I ruined my chances with a girl four years ago by calling her the first day I got her number a few times at the urging of my friend. Ever since then she's been a little creeped out and I don't blame her. But four years now, I have a girlfriend for five months but throughout these four years I have become friends with the other girl to the point where we're hanging out. I'm sure it's going no where but I'm screwing up my current relationship because of it and I don't want to be half-hearted in a relationship because that's unfair to my girlfriend. Also my girlfriend lives 50 miles away and I go out of my way to see her every week which causes me immense stress because I do it behind my mother's back and I borrow my brother's car. I'm getting sick of lying and I just want something more simple. Help.


adam 4 years ago

I understand the article...

I'm currently going through a similar situation. I started spending time with a guy about three years ago. He wanted more from me...for me to be his boyfriend. He saw that that wasn't possible so long as I was in the closet and so he tried to fix that problem. His outing me led to our spitting up. It wasn't necessarily that he outed me, but more that I felt I couldn't trust him (he had promised me that he wouldn't out me). We didn't talk to each other for a while. In time, our friendship came back and we are now best friends.

About a year after the outing/breakup, I met a guy: perfect from a physical point of view...and actually gay. Between the feeling scared to trust anyone and the thought that I didn't stand a chance, I spent a year getting over those feelings. And I did manage it.

About a year later (about a year ago now), I had another guy who actually was showing interest in me. It had been such a long time since that had happened to me...and I liked it. He was flirtatious toward me and I was strongly considering a second try at a relationship. Then Valentine's Day came...I walked into a room at school only to overhear him talking to a friend about his plans to go to dinner with his boyfriend. I turned around and walked out. I felt like I'd been betrayed again. For the next month, I thought it over in my head and came to the conclusion that I liked him, and that I had been wanting something from him (and thus misread his actions as advances). A month later, I learned from my ex that this guy had a problem with sleeping around. My ex was furious that I'd been targeted (he's fairly protective of me). Any self-confidence I had built up in those two years was drained out of me...twice in a month's time.

Within a month's time from then, both my ex and another friend started pushing me toward another guy. The one I had thought a year earlier that I stood no chance of getting. Apparently, he had a crush on me (which I could tell from the blank stares I got from him). But I had no confidence in myself. The feelings I once had for him came back stronger than the first time.

The summer started out as a blessing...then my ex broke up with his boyfriend of the time...then it was a nightmare...They seemed to be off and on for a couple of weeks. They had horrible fights to the extent that I would calm my ex down one night only to have to repeat the action the next two. When the toxic relationship finally ended. He was left broken. I started to spend a lot of time with him; because I was worried for him. In truth, I wouldn't have put him too far from being suicidal. In time, old feelings started to reawaken. We were talking on the phone one night and somehow, we got on the topic of my high-school crush. He (high-school crush) was physically perfect and his personality was the exact opposite. In high school, there were only two other gay guys besides myself. I didn't really have much contact with the one, but other...I knew he was no good...and that may have contributed to my staying in the closet (that and the fact that I went to a highly republican high-school). I told my ex about him (and it turned out that he knew him). I got him to promise not to out me to him and tell him of my old feelings (it would have been so awkward seeing as we all went to the same university). It didn't take him a week to spill the beans. I was hurt. And I had my summer classes coming to a close which meant my workload tripled as I had put things off to help him get through his breakup. So I cut off our seeing each other for a couple of weeks. In that time, he met a guy online and started dating him. I don't begrudge him for it, but the whole situation made me feel a little down.

With the fall semester starting up, I began to see the guy whom I had a mutual crush with again. And the feelings drew back stronger than ever. I'm not certain when it happened...but either I believe it happened at about this time (if not, it happened at the end of the previous semester, just before the summer), my ex gave me a little insight into him (I had not and still have not let him know of my feelings toward this guy). Apparently, as I learned, he is totally wild; the exact opposite of me. And he apparently thought I was too feminine for him. My ex doesn't know how much he hurt me that day. I still haven't been able to get over that guy. Toward the end of that fall semester (last fall) my ex let me in on that my crush is apparently in a (threesome?) relationship thing. Only none of them are committed to each other. When he started giving me details, I just wanted to tell him to stop, that I didn't want to know. But if I had, my feelings would have been made known to the entire world. So I kept quite. And now I'm in pain from imagining him with other guys.

Then we come to this semester. My ex has now broken up with his boyfriend he met online and had an HIV scare a couple of days later. Like last time, I stepped right up and supported him. I spent excess time with him/on the phone/and texting with him. Now, I feel us getting closer again, but I don't feel I can trust him. The other night, we were talking and he even admitted that I wouldn't be able to trust him. And at this same time, my crush has I guess broken it off with whomever he was with and going through what he is calling revirginization.

A couple of side notes to the events of the last few weeks...My ex has had a sexual encounter with the guy who tried to have an affair with me (without my knowledge of what he was trying to do). I have to say that this really hurt. I would have much preferred that he had kept it to himself. In addition, I've had some deep conversations with his now ex-boyfriend. We are going to remain friends, but I've been feeling some pull toward him in the last week or so. Our mutual ex has informed me that if any of his friends date him (my ex's ex-boyfriend) that he will personally kill them.

So, where I am right now is caught between my ex who clearly wants me back, my feelings toward the guy I've been crushing on for years who I apparently missed out on my only opportunity at getting because I was crushed over the idiot who tried to use me to cheat which whom my ex spent a night with (which hurt me more), and my ex's most recent ex whom I am now feeling myself slightly drawn toward.


courtney 4 years ago

im in a relationship and i love my boyfriend very much and im never gonna break up with him:)


Chrisanna 4 years ago

Im guessing im the youngest one to comment. Im 13 years old and yes i know im young to be in a relationship. So i've been dating my boyfriend for 4 months but i was thinking of breaking up with him because i fell for another. My boyfriend hardly spends time with me and we dont have classes together but the other guy teases me but makes me feel special. We would always text each other and talk to each other in class.

I told the other guy i liked him but he said he only liked me a little. But yesterday, he told me he's starting to think im cute and that he likes me. I feel sad im keeping this away from my boyfriend and i dont want to cheat therefore im still together with him, but, i want to break up. I know i will regret it because we're going to go further away. And my boyfriend is also going to go to a different high school ):

Im young at this and i really need help.


tiffany 4 years ago

omfg yall are all depressing. get a life


Sylvester 4 years ago

Sylvester

Am from china, but i reside in "US" i came in contact with a spell casters who caster a spell for me to get back my job back. i have been scammed thousands of dollars by some fake spell casters, i needed my job back so desperately because of the survival of my family. until i was referred to meet a spell caster on-line on this address by a friend who has once felt their powers "ayelalashrine@gmail.com". i visit the spell caster with little or no faith because of the previous and terrible experience i have had. they then cast the spell it worked just the way they said it would be. am glad with all gratitude that i gained my job with their help. they are so real with no doubt. why not see for yourself.


Chris 4 years ago

Im 17 and a senior in high school and I don't really feel anything towards my gf anymore. We've been dating for a few months but we don't have anything in common and she feels as though I always need to be taking to her. To add more I have developed feelings for another girl and she also has feelings toward me. I haven't ever cheated and I don't plan on starting, I just don't know how to break it off with her :/


jossie 4 years ago

there is really nothing in between either yes or no. the way i see it selfishness. unfortunately no respect on your self .


Cindy 4 years ago

here's the thing:

i am currently dating my best guy friend. we've been dating for 8 months and i love him. we've been friends for 15 years. but things are different.. i'm starting to feel like our relationship is just friends. i think i made a big mistake starting to date him, bc i think we should go back to being friends, but i know i would break his heart is we broke up. idk what in the world to do?? our families are good friends and it's just hard bc i don't want to loose my bestfriend, but at the same time i don't feel like we should be dating anymore... what should i do???


Lover girl 4 years ago

So, I've been in love with this guy for over a year, but he moved to Australia. I'm still in the states, can't leave because of school. It was a long distance in the first place so we never made it official. But I've loved him this whole time. When he moved, we skyped and talked and it made me fall even harder for him. Recently, I started dating someone who I care very very deeply for. I put my Ausie out of my head and I've been happy this whole time with my bf. but, lately I can't stop thinking about the first one. I know I'm in love with him, and he says he's in love with me. It was always just wrong place wrong time right

person. Now he's visiting the states again, and I really want to see him, but I'm afraid if I do, I'll end up cheating on my boyfriend, and somehow, that doesn't bother me as much as it should with him. Help?


urlosers 4 years ago

you guys are all losers.


keeleigh 4 years ago

go with youre second choice.. cus if you really loved the first you wouldnt have a second(:


kittykattt 4 years ago

Me and my bf have been dating a year and a half but recently I find my self becoming annoyed and I really like this other guy that treats me so different than my bf and I want to be with him do much. Im 14, my bf is seventeen and the guy I like is 19 I find myself screwed. I want to be with my bf cause of how close we are and the fact I get tto spend time with him however I really like the other guy and he likes me and is so mature. I feel like we could never see each other outside of school. The other guy has been patiently waiting for me since September of 2011..idk wat to do..please help me


feeling horrible 4 years ago

Soo with my boyfriend we've been dating for a year and 4 months now, and he says im the one he wants to marry me and so on. And I can't see myself with anyone else in the future. Yet right now since we're only in high school i feel like we shouldnt have met until college. I mean high schools for fun and everything so I've flirted with guys here and there doubted my relationship with my current boyfriend. Yet it always comes down to how obsessed I am with my boyfriend and could never do without him now that he's been in my life. I feel like I've cheated but I haven't. We would break up sometimes for a weekend or a week and sometimes I hung out with other people. I never reallly did anything. I find it hard to be with him I cry a lot and can barely deal with anything. Whenever we have a fight or break up he runs to his ex. They dated in 3rd grade for like 4 years and broke up and she moved away. I can't help but feel like he'll never committ or even go a year without talking to her while she's around. & she always is saying how she'll wait until he's 45 till im gone, that she only loves him, he's the only guy for her and so on. I just can't deal with it. Also when they went camping together, up north for a weekend, or talked and texted all the time in the beginning. All while we were broken up for less than an hour...after a year in less than an hour im replaced by a girl who ways about 50 pounds more, her gums show when she smiles, and everyone of my friends ask why he would downgrade. He even talks a bout her! Like sure I still have feelings for my ex, i'll never do anything about it. Also I feel that these two guys never got there chance to show if they were completely if they were right for me...sometimes i miss them. I talk to them on and off just to get a boost in confidence without trying to lead them on. Sometimes i just want to know. This one guyy was practically perfect, taller,green eyes,hockey player,funny,had a sense of humor,knew how to make me smile,&alll his imperfections just made him even better, he was pratically mine, but my current boyfriend came back and i couldn't say no...I still miss this guy, but what can I do..Ijust want my current boyfriend to hold,&kiss me.Treat me like he's never been with anyone else. to walk down the middle of the road and twirl me, be able to joke around or flirt without him saying "oh who did you do that with" and all I want to say is i want with you...I just wish he could do what I want and not just what he wants..Sometimes I miss damian,matt,and cody...sometimes kyle.


Rioja 4 years ago

I am have been in a realantioship for nearly 3 years now, but i met a guy more than a year ago. We have been friends ever since . we have a great time together, we even argue like couples. If i dont see him , i Miss him i can't stop thinking about him. I might be even falling in love. I do not have a very romantic relationshio with my current bf. we dont kiss, he dont hug me.. but i know he loves... and i care about him but it so frustrating i feel so alone with him... i confused.... and i do know what to do..


lady1234 4 years ago

:) It's strange how the human heart works. At one time, I knew so deeply the s/o was "the one." Then, I grew up and he was still into his video games, no real ambitions in life... What did I expect when I dated a guy younger then me, right? LOL. But like I said, we can't help who we love. It's been 5 years going on 6 years... About four months back to December, my path crossed with a random guy who have turned my whole world upside down. He's mature, yet funny, charming, out going, brave, and wonderful. He sent me flowers for v-day at my work place, which my s/o has never ever done before... This new guy has my mind thinking about him daily. He's confessed his feelings three months back and asked for marriage, knowing I was still in my current situation.

Because I was afraid of hurting my s/o, and because we've been through so much together, I hid myself from the new guy. Changed my number... stopped contacting him. Yet, here I am, wondering about him... feeling like a sick soul while the s/o is next to me. When will I ever forget the new guy? :( *sigh I had such a deep spiritual connection with the new guy as well... it was as if we knew one another from a time before or something. I was drawn to him... And we kissed. Felt so comfortable... like home. Yet After that kiss, I ran out the door and never returned. I told my s/o everything, and he broke up with me... Now, the s/o and I are trying to patch things up for the sake of what we had... yet... this other guy still has a piece of my heart. :(


Dissheveled... 4 years ago

So glad I'm not the only one, as many have said. I'm miserable. I love love LOVE my boyfriend. There is nothing wrong with him. He is the ideal man. Perfect and wonderful. I recently had a life changing experience which made me distant. In the process, I fell for one of his best friends, who didn't push me to answer questions he asked, nor did he ever make me feel like I couldn't talk to him. My boyfriend, however, keeps asking me about it, and I tell him I'm not ready to talk about it all. But he keeps asking and it's kind of pushing me away towards his best friend. I know it's because he cares and wants to help me and try and make me happy, but his constant badgering is getting on my nervs. I love him, but the spark doesn't seem to be there as much as it used to. I don't know what to do about this. My boyfriend who I love, and his best friend who is acting as I wish my boyfriend would and who is understanding of my need to not want to talk about it.


hannah 4 years ago

am in a weird position, i was with my boyfriend for just over a year and we loved each other so much.. we come to terms that it was not working as i wanted more, i wanted to go places and go out and do things with my boyfriend didnt, so we split up it was the best for both of us but i could not get over him, i went away and stayed in my sisters and was texting a male friend and he was asking me to come and see him i thought to my self it might help me get over him, but when i was away my ex told me to contact him when i got back, but i never as i thought it was for the best because it might of helped get over him i stayed in this other lads for a couple of days and really got to no him dead well and he got to no me well to, but when i was there everything reminded me of my ex i couldnt help but talk about him, after the couple of days i went home and i text my ex telling him i was home and he new straight away what i had been up to but i was single it really hurt him, but then he told me he had went and seen someone too.. then he said he wants me back and we are still sorting things out now its really hard for both of us but really hard for him as i stayed over night for a couple of days at this lads house, we have told each other everything there is to say but it was so hard to tell the lad i have got close to that am sorting things out with my ex as he had feelings for me more than i had for him i think i have messed everything up


Jillian 4 years ago

I've been dating my boyfriend for the past 2 years, and we have SO much in common. We enjoy doing a lot of the same things, and spend a lot of time together. I also am living with him (sort of). He's my best friend and someone who can always make me smile. He's caring, nurturing and a total sweetheart. Basically, everyone thinks I have it made in this relationship, and quite frankly maybe I do. I do love him, though lately I've been getting bothered by certain traits/habits that have really started to get to me. Coinciding with these feelings of becoming irritated by my boyfriend a lot, I have begun to develop feelings for a friend I met 5 or so months ago. We only started hanging out outside of classes maybe a month and a half ago, but since then we have seen a lot of eachother and I know that feeling of interest is mutual. I am really comfortable with him, as he is with me and we have shared a lot of personal things with eachother, just because it felt so natural. I don't have as much in common with him as I do with my boyfriend, and this other guys lifestyle/habits do not match mine as well, but somehow, it doesn't feel like an issue to me. Overall, I feel like this other guy is "my other half" in that his personality (and even psychology, to an extent) are shockingly similar to mine. We just "get" eachother. On the other hand, my boyfriends personality is quite different from mine- more so the opposite or a compliment to mine, rather than being similar. All in all, both are great guys. I couldn't imagine not having my boyfriend in my life, but at the same time, I wonder if at this point it is because he is my best friend and someone I am very comfortable with, because I can't seem to get this other guy out of my head. I imagine dating him and I want to be close to/affectionate with him, yet I can't have both and I don't know who to choose. Either way I break a heart, and I don't know which relationship would be best for me in the long run so I'm stuck in limbo. Help.


anon 4 years ago

Im 17 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 15 months.. I have never loved anyone as much as i love him and i dont think ill ever find anyone else like him.. the problem is that he has two personalities and i am in love with the one side and despise the other! He isnt considerate at all and can overall just be a complete idiot. Yet he knows me from the inside out and he is so close to all of my friends and family.. not to mention he has the same sense of humor and i can be completely myself around him which i love!! but the past few months our relationship hasnt been going so well as we split up over very very bad trust issues and just recently got back together.. Conversely i have a very close best boy friend that ive known for 6 years! I've always been very attracted to him and we've always had this 'banter' 'flirty' kind of relationship.. But about 8 months ago i kissed him and ever since then my feelings for him have grown stronger and stronger untill i had to let him know how i felt.. we spoke about it and he told me that his feelings for me are very strong also.. i've tried to stop things with him before but we both found it impossible.. and now i have questioned myself maybe i should end things with my boyfriend and try things with my best friend? But i find it impossible to end things with my boyfriend because im so madly in love with him.. i know that the right thing to do is to end it with my boyfriend because he doesnt treat me right which results in me mistreating him too. So someone PLEASE give me some advice on what i can do! because it is eating and eating away at me and i cannot take it!


... 4 years ago

Can't believe that there's so many people in a similar situation as me...but in my case, i used to speak to a guy who lives quite a few miles away, we spoke like, religiously every day, we drifted apart, and didn't speak for about 6 years, up until about a month ago..i've been with my boyfriend roughly 2 years..Anyway, i started speaking to this guy again and he's gorgeous, it was great to start talking again, we've spoke pretty much everyday. I find my boyfriend irritating & if we play fight, it often turns a little vicious. He isn't motivated to do anything & i feel like i'm making all the effort for anything we do. He drives me nuts sometimes. But i do love him..i love him a lot, but since i've been speaking to this other guy again, all my old feelings have come back, but the worst thing is, he moved back to Canada..where we're worlds apart. Its horrible..i find myself thinking about him all the time. I love my boyfriends family, they've been a tremendous amount of support for me & helped me out a lot, it makes me feel bad about even considering breaking up with him...i just don't know what to do...i'm meeting him this year for the 1st time as his mum has just moved back over here, i feel really guilty about this. I hate the fact we are so far apart, I don't know whether to end my relationship with my current boyfriend & meet this guy or to just stop talking to the guy completely & focus on getting my head in the right place. I don't even really want my boyfriend touching me, am i a horrible person for this? i don't even think he has noticed the change in the way i behave around him...his really immature, and sits around watching tv & playing his ps3 or on his computer all day. I feel like we're going no where in our relationship...HELP!


ano 4 years ago

Wow lots of people in this situation. Especially you above^....

I came on here to ask for help...read your comment and felt like you have no feelings left for your boyfriend and maybe answered my own problem.

I have been in a relationship for 3 years now, for approx the last 6 months things have not been the same..I realised that I made most of the effort in the relationship and decided to take a step back. Since then, things have gone from bad to worse. I am aware that my boyfriend loves me but like you, i dont even think he notices the change in my behaviour or realises just how boring our relationship is. He too is immature and has very little ambition.

I feel exactly the same about my boyfriend touching me...i dont want it to happen. I feel like I can't carry on but have no way of telling him.

Like you, my worry is his family, and mine for that matter. I feel like I could not face anyone if I broke up with him.

I met a guy through friends about 3 months ago now, he showed a keen interest in me but I wouldnt cheat and rejected him even though I felt a huge connection from the moment we met. The night I met him (at a house party) we stayed up all night talking about everything, he was so easy to talk to. Later he sent me messages over facebook and 3 months on I still talk to him everyday. I feel like I have really fallen for him, but the week after we met he moved to Australia for work. The distance doesn't seem to make a difference to him..he is very clear about his feelings and is ddetermined that we will work when he comes home in a few months. My problem is that I cant get him out of my head, i think about him being with me from the moment I wake up, I think about him in sexual ways also. I feel like I have fallen head over heels. I get on so well with him.

I shouldn't be feeling like this. I still get on well with my boyfriend but feel like we are just friends and he has not noticed it yet. I don't want to hurt him by breaking up with him but I am doing worse by not telling him.

I know I sound extreamly selfish but it is so hard!


sarah 4 years ago

i have been with my boyfriend for four years now. an old flame came back into my life and id like to think he fell for me just as hard as i fell for him. this time round when we connected was very different. see the first time we met it was just sex this time i met up with him there were feelings involved. it was passionate wateva i felt when i was with him i hadnt felt with my now bf ever. he left for his job and told me to forget about him and move on. but the things he used to say to me replay over and over in my head. we had such an intense connection through sex and im struggling to move on. i think i fell in love with him but im not sure if its just because i cant see him talk to him or its a classic case if i want what i cant have.the very first post on the site said something about your partner not giving you what you need and i think thats whats happened to me thats why i seeked it somewhere else. i care alot about my bf and i do love him and for some reason i cant leave him. hes stable motivated and has a great heart. but i dont think we have that real deep connection like i had with this other guy. or maybe i just think this other guys perfect because i didnt spend alot of time with him and didnt get to know him all that well. ive tried to move on and get over the past. and stop thinking of this guy. im trying to do right be a better person . someone tell me what should i do?


... 4 years ago

Ano, yeah, you're right...you're in a very similar situation to me, just...i don't think it would work with the guy in Canada :( we haven't spoken about the distance..but yeah..i do to..feel like me & my bf are more friends than bf/gf...it sucks..:(


Loveconfused 4 years ago

So I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now I'm recently 15 and he's 14 so we go to different schools I'm always worried he's cheating on me. He says he isn't like that but I always suspect. I was at a lifeguard training and I met this old friend of mine that I used to like we hit it right off the bat we started looking at each other like we used to he's really and I mean really good looking and he's really sweet not like all the guys in my generation that sag their pants and all hes one year older, but the main turn off is the fact that he goes to the rivil of my H.S he has a car and everything we used to like each other but we never had the chance to get to know each other. I don't know if I still feel anything for my partner he showers me with gifts but that's not what I really want. I do really miss my old friend and I don't know if he still feels the same about me as I do him it says on his Fb he's single but I don't know if I could ruin my relationship my Bf says he really loves me and wants to marry me I know that's a lot for the age of 14 but he's really nice and immature but I don't know why I don't feel anything for him anymore. I don't know if I should go for it and if I do would I crash and burn and stay single


matina 4 years ago

HI....

I just wanted to say thank you soooo much to your God given TEMPLE freemercytemple@yahoo.com the time that you took with me and helping me to get Justine back with your gifted powers. Through all the phone calls and e-mails, you were there for me and helped me to get him back i really believe in your SPELL CASTING. The Spirit has truly blessed you with a very special gift. Never give up and always continue to follow the light as you have been and things will continue to look up for you and many blessing will fall upon your TEMPLE FREE MY MERCY . Just as you told me, Spirit always watches the actions of every person and makes determinations on their future based upon this. Well, my part with the extensive positive r easing is making me feel great again thank You i keep in contact with you, probably more that I should have. I have been blessed and I am grateful that your good wheel put you in successful path.


Zach 4 years ago

This article fits how I feel a lot. And its strange because I want to be close with my girlfriend but its hard when someone else comes in your life with more similarities to you, does not judge, you feel much more open with, and treats you with much more respect.

Three weeks ago my girlfriend just completely avoided me at a party we went to because of some rumor going around that I wanted to break up with her (which was not true). I cried at the party, something I rarely do. This girl who I was friends with came over and talked to me and showed me compassion. Me and my girlfriend are fine now but this other girl and I just became such good friends and I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.

The human race is a flawed race of organisms. Why do we have to feel multiple loves? Why do I feel this way? What can I possibly do?


caroline 4 years ago

I've always had the problem of many ppl chasing after me when I'm single and in a relationship .. and I've never cheated ... but I've been with my boyfriend for a while and he started to never have the time for me. It was true he never really did, with work and school and also the same for me. Yet i made time for him and tried to be a "good" girlfriend. I felt as if i was "in love". But all of a sudden an old friend comes to visit and he expresses his feelings for me. and shockingly i used to like him and well my old feelings come back .. my old friend and I start to talk more and more. I have ended up spending more time with him then i do with my own boyfriend ... I love them both and they both have things a look for and both have qualities i don't really like but can live with ..

I've come so close to cheating today that i ran off, and i haven't talked to either of the guys .. i have had several thoughts about cheating .. and leaving my boyfriend but i don't know if its the right decision ...

should i just forget about both of them? I really can't make my mind up ... old friend or current boyfriend?


ToCaroline 4 years ago

Caroline, You dont know a thing about honesty and why it's so important in maintaining intimacy. Had you shared your feelings with your current boyfriend, INCLUDING the new feelings that came up with your old friend, you would have instantly taken away your freedom to explore this other potential, or you would have freed yourself to leave your boyfriend if his response did not illicit a renewing of your relationship.

Remember, withholding relevant details about your feelings and desires in terms of your relationships is the same as lying. It's deceptive and it should make you re-evaluate who you are as a person of character or not.


socks 4 years ago

I'm in an year relationship where I was verbally abused doing at least 7 of these years due to alcoholism. The last two years in this relationship I fell in love with someone I know wife who is now divorced. I tried getting out the 8year relationship but was not successful. She wouldn't let me go and I also felt sorry for her cause gets sick and no one helps her. She's also my friend, and more like a sister to me. I have no intimacy for her what so ever. Now me and the person Im in love suppose to be getting married in 5days and I'm still living with the 8 year relationship person. I trust the both, the new person respects me the old one don't.


LuvStinx 4 years ago

Ive been with my gf for 2 years on and off. Shes incredibly smart and beautiful BUT FAR AWAY.we had a huge split and started seeing other people. I knew she had a new bf because of facebook.Seeing her with someone else drove me nuts so i stopped talking to who i was currently dating and got my ex back. Now that i have my ex back i met someone ,who in a short period of time i have gained feelings for. I still dont know if this person has the same feelings i do but my ex hasnt done anything wrong to make me think twice about our relationship. If i got with this girl who i like now i would break my exs heart again. I believe im getting these feelings because we are far from eachother. She wont move where i live because of work and i wont move because of work. Our entire relationship is based on skype,facebook, and our cell phones. WHAT DO I DO AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHH


FML 4 years ago

First off, @ LuvStinx above me: DAFUQ dude?!

2nd, I'm in the same boat.

3 years wit my current GF. New girl I met from work.

I don't think I share the same values as my GF. She is into beauty crap and she isn't morally as correct as me. I'm thrifty and she doesn't rly share my thriftiness. If I marry her, we'd prob have financial fights. I'm 21 and she's 18 btw. I know we're both young, but I think personal values won't change that much with age. She has a fiesty temper too, and I think that may be because she is a single child used to getting things her way. That CAN change with time, when she meets the outside world.

The new girl is 22, much more mature, cheerful, learned like me. She's shorter than my gf and not as voluptuous though LOL. But still pretty nonetheless. She loves animals and I love the fact she has what I consider to be a "healthy" interest, instead of an interest in self beautifying.

I think I'm going to break up with my GF. Been meaning to for a while but I never had the courage to face the music, there was no outside motivation, and she gives great BJs. But I want something more than that. I want to love a girl for who she is.


Shawdy 4 years ago

So I haven't been going out with my boyfriend so long. I'm in that 'honeymoon' stage where we don't fight, still have that spark and I'm absolutely attracted to him physically and personality-wise. But lately I've gotten to know him a bit more 'intimately'. I guess for me, it's harder to see this person as someone I take seriously. I know he treasures me and only wants to make me happy so I'm making sure not to take that for granted.

But there's this childhood friend that I've always had a crush on. He's the kind of guy that's just so pure-hearted. Maybe other girls find that boring, but he's got this level of respect for himself that I love so much. I knew about it, yet didn't think much of it because

a) He saved my life once.

b) I think he looks absolutely gorgeous. Probably the hottest person to me.

c) He's too good for me. I feel like I'd corrupt him or something.

d) Even in my last relationship that lasted about 3 years, I still had feelings for him.

Lately, this friend of mine has acted differently since he asked me to his formal. I'm trying so hard with my current bf because I don't need any "what ifs", and when I spend time with him I truly believe our relationship strengthens... But these feelings for my childhood friend won't go away easily.


bob 4 years ago

I have been with my gf for two years now, fell head over heals for her right away, would do everything to be with her. she was did not want to be in a relationship for the longest, i fought long and hard and finally she became my gf after a while. Things have always been a bit rocky and good at the same time. It's been a couple of years now, things started to get a little bad, i started to realize a lot of things and during this time i met someone else. Her and I would always hang out, always together in class and out of class. She seemed to want to hang out with me where my gf didnt. We finally kissed one night and siince then we have been "dating" kind of. I finally told my gf of how i felt that we might not work out because of a lot of issues we had, ironic she (my gf) has changed and seems to want to be with me more. But I have strong feelings for this other girl who is now going through a lot of issues with her family. She now doesn't want to talk to me. I feel bad for having feelings for another woman and im not sure if i should let my gf go regardless if I end up with the other girl or not. And i feel bad for the other girl because i know i have hurt her too because I could not be totally hers. She knows i have a gf and is upset.


hannah 4 years ago

hey im 20 years ov age and im goin through the same onlh im engaged and have a kid..i have been with my fella for jus over four years..the past two years we have been goin through a rough patch and wen we nearly broke up i fell for a friend that is really sweet and lovin but wen my fiance found out he changed and started bein sweet guy that i first fell for..i love him a lot as he is the person that i first ever fell in love with..as im livin with him and have a child it is so much harder to make my choics..i love my fiance but i really reallh like this othed guy..1 i dnt no how i would tell my fiancee without breakin his heart and 2 could anyone pls help me out :-(


happy 4 years ago

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ThePiixie 4 years ago

i know this sounds bad, but i'm actually falling for an ex-soldier that i met online on a webcam/chat thingy. Its hard for me to decide who to stay with because i'm in a relationship with another guy and i just got back with him not too long ago, but now i'm starting to regret why i started the relationship again... I like this guy i met online because we have so many common interests! we have so many things in common its ridiculous. he's really cute and has so many qualities that i want... but i've known my boyfriend since the 3rd grade and i just met this guy like a week ago...

I'm falling in love with another guy while being in a relationship.

the soldier im keeping in contact with is so sweet and caring... i already wrote down the cons and pros for both of these guys and im STILL contemplating on whether i should stick with the guy i've known for nearly my entire life or the guy i just met a week ago online.

Help guys.


Maroon 4 years ago

You don need help honey..You are a whore :p


mariah 4 years ago

im in the same boat right now i have a bf best i ever have over 2 years now, and i hate to say this but i fallen for our best friend he touch my heart some how and im in and ive fallen and it hurts me inside idk wht to do. plus i leave with my bf with his parents.


Sun rays 4 years ago

The first time I took my car to the garage I noticed the engineer tasting me with his eyes. He was mid-conversation with a colleague but he never took his eyes off me. He's about 40, tall, handsome but worn and roughish looking...not my type of man at all. We spoke, I explained my worries about my car but all along I had to keep looking past him, at the ground, at my car, anywhere but at his face. I felt hot, nervous and worst of all, a nearly uncontrollable urge to touch him, kiss him, something.

The next day I went to collect my car and I was drawn to him. We took the car out for a test and we chatted about everything and nothing...everything apart from my boyfriend of 8 years who I love dearly and have never hurt or, taken for granted or considered leaving.

When we got back to the garage, I thanked the engineer, all the time avoiding his gaze. We shook hands and he said he hoped to see me again. If anything seemed wrong with my car, no matter how small, I was to call him and it would be a solid excuse to see me again.

I haven't stopped thinking and fantasizing about him. My thoughts were mostly lustful at first, but it has been 2 months since I saw him and those thoughts have turned to more romantic notions of a man I barely know being absolutely everything a girl like me could want.

I know there's nothing to do but wait for these feelings to pass but my word, it's not easy, especially when I'm fairly certain I haven't popped into his mind since.


Sun rays 4 years ago

Hey Pixie. You sound as though you are in real turmoil, but please, please take your time with the guy you met on-line. I'm only saying this because I've realized that most of us are falling for people we know little abou tand spend very very little time with, so we fill in the gaps ourselves and create these amazing men in our minds. Most of us however know some things about these guys, but you know pretty much only what you are told by this guy and what he allows you to see through his web cam. Therefore, your perfect guy is only based on what this guy has allowed you to think about him. Connecting over the net is a whole different thing to connecting with someone you've met, sensed and felt.

It's the excitement of fresh sensations and someone giving us attention that hooks us but is it really worth spoiling a relationship that may just need a little spicing up? I know the raw feeling when you think of "the other guy". It's pleasant but somewhat dark and almost a burden but it's also delicious and constant. My new aim is to reachieve this feeling or something close with my boyfriend because I know that if my "other guy" and I are to get together, I'll be disappointed. I, you, most of us here have filled in the gaps about these men and imagined these guys to be so brilliant that they are destined to be disappointments. It's inevitable in my view.

Someone please let me know if i'm wrong. I kinda need any good excuse to take my car in to that garage ;-)


Confused soul 4 years ago

hey .. i'm in a similar situation ..

i've been dating my boyfriend for like 4 months and i really like him .. but there's this guy who's a friend and things never really got over between him n me .. and there are just MOMENTS of feelings towards him now and nothing more .. but nevertheless i feel like im betraying my current bf. i really wanna get over that other guy .. he's kinda from the past, we never dated, but i liked him for really long until i met my current bf. but things seem to be sprouting up again and i don't want to feel the way i do about him. i want to make things work with my current .. any suggestions for my messed up brain ? :/


stuck 4 years ago

It is so good to write this down... I've been so confused and scared and worried I will regret something I do. I have been with my current boyfriend for 8 years. I know 8 years. We've had many ups and downs. We were 17 when we got together and we've always got on so well. Grown up together in some ways. We have had 2 breaks. One a long time ago when we went through a really bad patch due to partying mainly. The other was a couple of years ago for 9 months when he went on a overseas trip. During this time I did meet other guys as he did, girls. When he got back, when got back together and it was really good. I have since gone back to uni to do medicine. He has a very good job in finance and works a lot. I have met so many new people that are all "just like me". With the study load, I have said to my current bf that I need to study at home more often... which means not spending every night together like we used to. I feel like we are not besties anymore I feel like I'm not attractive to him either. I have met this really really nice guy in my course and I really feel like I LIKE him so much. He definitely is also keen but knows i have a long term bf and would never do anything. My current bf has been overseas for a lot of the start of this year and so I have felt as if I have been single but 'unavailable' a lot. My bf is really nice. He also is very funny and even better looking than this new guy. My current bf is my age but sometimes I get so worried that he wants me to fit into a certain mould.. just like his parents. I want to be a doctor and I also want to be a mum. But I am not someone that will give up my career to raise children. Of course I will want to but I don't want to give up this other HUGELY important part of who I am. I know this won't apply to so many of you, but its like with this new guy he understands all of what it is about me. It's called homophily to save me from trying to explain the phenomenon. Sometimes I feel like my bf doesn't get me, doesn't care or has passions about the same things as me. But on the other hand, he is amazing.. I know millions of girls are so jealous that I have found a guy who is so nice, loyal, masculine whilst still being able to be romantic. He is so caring but I like this other guy so much... I get butterflies when I see him. I know its ridiculous and it's just a crush. My current bf is for the longterm and I can't be going around stuffing it up now... Im old enough to be getting married for goodness sake. I just don't know how I can stop wanting to kiss this other guy. I seriously just want to PASH him. Get it out of my system so I can't get on with my life with current bf. What should I do?? I really don't want to lose current bf. He is too good to me and has put up with/ help me so much... sometimes I am just not attracted to him. I know so strange and it would kill me if he felt the same way about me but Im so stuck. I hate that I have to choose. Why can't I have a life where I get to do both and be happy. haha.. and as much as I want to stop this about this other guy.. i feel like I am reluctant to because of how lovely he makes me feel.


kansas13 4 years ago

I just turned 15 yesterday, and I've only been dating this kid a year older than me for 2 months but I've been hanging out with the guy my own age that I've had a crush on for forever a lot lately.. Last night we were kind of flirting in my friend's pool and it just felt right.. I'm thinking about asking him for advice on breaking up with my current boyfriend, but I'm seeing him in a few hours so I'm not sure if that would be weird or not.. Plus my current boyfriend is supposed to give me a birthday present soon so I'm not sure if it would be weird if I broke up with him tonight or not.. I really really like this kid, but I'm worried I'll throw away what I have with my current boyfriend and he'll reject me..


confused 4 years ago

I am a 23 year old,hard workingguy. And i have been with my girlfriend who is 21 for 6 years. We are actually getting married in 2 weeks. But i don't feel the same way about her. We actually broke up a couplemonths back. We was split up for about a month. But anyways for that month I started talking to another girl. And i really started to like her. But then my girlfriend came back and i was happy. Until a couple weeks ago when I started to talk to the other girl again. And now she's all I can think about. And i don't feel like I'm still in love with my fiance. It sounds bad but i can't help my feelings. This other girl is just so much fun and she gets along with all my friends. I just really love being around her. I just don't know Wat to do.


shawty 4 years ago

Ok so I am 28 and married and was happy for 6 years with my wife until a new girl started work! I never looked at another woman and turned down alot, it never fazed me, but this girl hmm. As soon as our eyes met a fire was born, we quickly become close although never done anything, she has a fiance and 2 yr old with him. We went out on our works christmas party and kissed for the first time and a few times after that and again on new year. Then she said she would never leave her fiance, we stopped talking for 6 months but then she came back saying, she missed me, couldnt stopped thinking of me etc, we had a heart to heart and basically we really want each other but she doesnt want to break up her little family, she said if her daughter wasnt there then she would be with me in a shot! What do i do? my wifes and I relationship to me is dead, but she wants me but wont leave him beacause of her daughter, now he has suggested having another baby, she is thinkinh that that will make it all better, but i keep telling her it will make it worse.


Joy 4 years ago

Reading a few stories made me realize that I am not alone and we all go through this. I need advice.

I've been dating someone for almost 4 months. But last week I saw my friend and his brother. I thought he was cute and I enjoyed our talk. I wasn't thinking in a moment that I like him. My current boyfriend was partying with his friends. On Saturday, I decided to do a To be honest and like my status. The brother like my status and I told him how he looks like his brother. Good genes runs in the family. He wrote on my wall since he decided to do a to be honest and he said that when I was introduce I was shy. I asked why and he said because I get shy in front of pretty girls. I was flatter and happy. I message him and talk to him. I told him he was cute in a way. We started talking and I felt happy that night. It was hard not to talk to my current boyfriend. I told him through text and he said he likes me too. But we can be friends since he knows I am dating from his brother. I care about my boyfriend a lot but maybe I am afraid of being too attach that's why I'm doing it and my mind playing tricks on me.


kkk 4 years ago

AFRICA VOODOO thanks for making my wish true! I was totally devastated when Frank left me. It was like all my world vanishing into sorrow and pain. But your kind words when I first emailed you gave me hope. I felt how sincere, honest and authentic he were from his first email. I know it sounds weird but out of all the casters I contacted, he were the only one to give me that impression of being so true and caring. More than your words, it s the fantastic work you accomplished for me that I will keep in mind. He brought my lover back and he made all my wishes come true. He s now loyal, pays attention to me, he offers me flowers every Sunday, and we often go out at the cinema or at the restaurant. I will be forever thankful for turning my life from hell to heaven! if there is anyone to get your ex back to you, it is africa_voodoo@yahoo.com


truth 4 years ago

I wrote on here around 2 months ago. Finished with my boyfriend for this other boy but then ended up getting back with my boyfriend because i couldnt live without him. But then he made me realize i'd made a big mistake after acting like a complete wanker. so i ended things with him and tried things with this other boy again. two days ago i caught my second boy sleeping with two of my friends. Moral of the story.. if you fall in love with two people fuck them both and be single because most people are cunts! :)


Anonymous 4 years ago

I thought I was completely alone and then I discovered this page and people who are in the same boat as me, it really helps knowing people are going through the same thing.

I've been with my current girlfriend for about 3 years now and it was great for the first 2 years however we broke up because we wanted different things from life, I wanted to be free to explore the world and travel whilst she wanted to settle down in the future and for the relationship to be permanent (we were only 17ish).

Whilst we broke up I fell for this other girl who to this day I cannot stop thinking about, its like when me and my girlfriend got together to begin with, I can't stop thinking of her, I see her in class and I freeze from butterflies, she posts on facebook and suddenly the worlds not so dark.

After a while fate threw me and my girlfriend back together, however for the last 6 months it hasn't felt right, I can't explain it but I don't feel very attached and I havent been able to bring myself to say those three words. Along with that I don't seem to be able to do any of the romantic things she craves, these romantic events I can however imagine with the other person.

I don't want to hurt her but I don't know how much longer we can keep going the way we are. To make it worse the girl now lives abroad and I won't see her for 8 months. Ideas?


Lost 4 years ago

I have a current boyfriend of acouple months but I think I've started to fall in love with my gay best friend(I'm bisexual and a girl)and it turns out he was willing to try to be with me.I'm reapply confused because I love both of them dearly and I'd hate to lose either one of them.I feel like I should leave my boyfriend I have but then I think no he loves you and you love him,and I do but I'm in love with my BFF too. I wish I could have them both but I can't and I'm selfish for it.


Kayla 4 years ago

Hey y'all.... Well I've been with my current boyfriend for about 10 or 11 monthes now, I met him in August of 2011 and we hit off..... But lately I've starting hanging out with my ex- boyfriend and I've had so much fun with him... My ex and I have been really close friends since 2008, and we had dated for about 3 monthes but it didn't work out... But I feel as though I'm starting to like him again... I never truly stopped caring for him, and I'll always love him.... But I know I love my current and we've started planning out our life together. I can see us getting married and having children... But I can't get my ex out of my mind, and I realized how much I really miss him and his hugs.... He's started hugging me a lot lately and it feels wonderful... Not in a sexual way, but more like a comforting embrace.... He has a girlfriend also, he's been with her since December but.... I don't think we ever truly got over each other... And just last week he did something that reminded me of my dead brother and I started breaking down.. He went over to me and held me while I cried, telling me that he was sorry... I love my boyfriend but I think that unresolved feelings between my ex and I are starting to grow again.... I'm not sure if we'll let these feelings fade or not... I just know that I feel more comfortable around him than my boyfriend.... I love his hugs.... I don't know what to do... Some advice would be greatly appreciated...


Josh H 4 years ago

It is great to see some people in the same thing that I am, although mine has a twist. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year and a half and she is such a great girl and everything has been going good besides a little arguing here and there but nothing serious, and in this last week the lady I live with that lives in her house literally 15 seconds away from where I live, her cousin the same age as me is down to visit for a month and I have been hanging out with eachother and have grown strong feelings for eachother, and I feel she is such a great girl for me. We share so many interests with eachother literally like everything between us we have in common! I havent cheated on my girlfriend with her unless you count a few hugs as cheating but I just don't know what to do, I know it sounds bad but I have cheated in the past and I don't think it would ever be to the point that I am sleeping with this new girl especially because she is a very well mannered girl (just my type that I like) but I have started thinking about just holding hands and kissing and cuddling with this girl but I have no idea what I should do, I am so lost right now! If someone can even help me in a slight bit I will gladly appreciate it!!


ConfusedGirl 3 years ago

Hi, I'm kinda in the same situation. I have a boyfriend for 10 years. We've been through almost anything, literally any problem that bfs and gfs go through in a normal relationship. We've been together since we were in highschool. He's 26 now and I'm 25. We have been discussing plans of settling down. However, we've been in a long distance relationship in 5 years of us being together. Now, here goes the problem. I have been working in this Company for 4 years. There I met this guy. At first, he was just like a brother to me. We got really close. He's 24. To make the long story short, I kinda fell for this guy. If ever he asks me to go on a dinner or movie with him, I couldn't refuse. Even if I know in my mind, my bf would get mad or get jealous. But I can't stop thinking about him. I even dream about him. When he is away, I miss him almost instantly. I don't know what to anymore. I love my boyfriend so much but I think I have also fallen for this guy. I tried to weigh things. I keep choosing my boyfriend over him but the feelings for him are still there and it just won't go away. I am so confused! HELP!


This Sucks 3 years ago

OK...of course...googling breaking up long-term relationships for feelings for someone else brought me here...This truly does suck...any advice?

I'm 22 years old and I've been with my current boyfriend for 6 years now. We've been friends for 10 years. Through these 6 years, I've caught him lying (lost count), hanging out with old druggie friends, as well as smoking weed (which I strongly oppose...especially with him considering he's done heavier/worse in the past). I feel as if I am just conditioned in this relationship. He's the only boyfriend I've ever had. I wouldn't even say I'm comfortable, because there is 0% trust there...but he always says he'll never lie to me again...and for some reason, I always feel as if he MIGHT be telling the truth this time, so I stay...but have always found something out a couple of months later...the first 3 years of our relationship, he was slightly abusive to himself, as well as to me occasionally...but the past 3 have been an improvement in that area...but there are still lies and hurt. Our good days are good, but when they're bad...they're bad...and there is so much that is negative and has remained negative for months in our relationship...and he always twists it as if it's all me. Don't get me wrong...I do love him, and that we've shared...he was my first everything...but I just don't feel how I used to...I barely feel anything, but pain...I'm always thinking about the past...and when something else similar is going to happen again...

This is where the other guy comes in...

Back in high school when my current boyfriend and I had not even gotten together...there was this guy that I rode the bus with daily. I was always intrigued by him...and never forgot him. We sat together, talked, took pictures, and made silly videos together on the rides home. He would always randomly pop in my head...from 6 years back to currently. We recently got back in contact and have been talking almost constantly. He's spilled out his feelings for me and told me that he's had them since high school but never acted, and that he guesses it was just another mistake, but that it's nice to wonder what could have been, but also has the respect of me being in a relationship right now as well. I obviously have feelings for him to that never really left.

My current boyfriend is kind of crazy. He does not know one thing about how often I've been talking to this other guy or what we've been talking about. All he thinks is that we text occasionally.

I think I already know what I should do...even if this other guy didn't come back into the picture...for some reason, I just can't bring myself to do it...

This hurts...and this sucks. :( Any advice?


victoria 3 years ago

My name is Jenna Bueh from Australia my girlfriend left me a month ago and she was leaving with another man,i fell like my life is completely over. I read over the internet how you have help several people to get there love back. Have been dipresed for the past one month and what i need is to get her back and live with me so i decided to give it a try so i contacted him and explain my problems to him and he cast a spell for me which i use to get her back and now my life is complete and i am throughly greatful to this man,his contact emai lshamuspiritualtemple@gmail.com Thank you very much and i am extremely greatful shamuspiritualtemple@gmail.com


Jane 3 years ago

It’s unbelievable, how fortunate I feel after finding your website. For the past 6 months, I have been so depressed after losing my fiance to another woman. My money situation worsened so much that I thought I’d have to file for bankruptcy. I had a huge amount of debt and I didn’t know what to do. Out of complete and total desperation, I contacted many of those so-called spell casters who promised powerful magic, witchcraft or black magic. None of them worked and none were as wonderful ancientijebudespelltemple@gmail.com has been. He is definitely different from the others and I felt immediate hope and strength from hearing about the promises he had to offer. He carries an air of purity and divine strength that is as pure as fresh snow on the ground. I requested Dr Ijebu the most powerful spells and I was relieved right away that I had someone to solve my problems for me. His spells worked wonders and I am now back with my fiance and my money troubles resolved itself after winning the lottery. Dr Ijebu, I have no idea what I would have done without you being there to help me out.


Amanda 3 years ago

I never believed in magic spells or anything like that, but I was told by a reliable source that Dr Ijebu is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person, and after much” she got me to visit ancientijebudespelltemple@gmail.com. It was one of the best things I have ever done. My lovelife was in shambles; I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn’t face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. So, with nothing but my pride to lose, I checked it out. I was flabbergasted. This man is for REAL. He did whatever magic he does,and behold – no more than THREE DAYS LATER, I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage counseling, and we’re doing very, very well, on the road to recovery! Love and Many Blessings Back to You!


enllr 3 years ago

hello my name is mr. john

I and my girlfriend were seriously in love for three years and we were planning to get marry but one day she came to my house and toldme she was no longer interested in our relationship simply because she was dating another rich man who promise to buy her a car and to sponsor their wedding. And i suffer heartbreak for five months and i was not tired of loving him.One faithful day as i was browsing through the internet, i saw a testimony on how a spell caster helped some one name BROWN to get back his wife after two years of losing his wife because he was no longer having a job. Through this Email...templeoflove1@gmail.com So i sent an email to templeoflove1@gmail.com for help and surprisingly my boy friend came back with the help of the spell caster and was begging to come back. and now we are happily married. His Email.....templeoflove1@gmail.com


Kinla 3 years ago

Last month, I finally got everything thing i lost back especially my happy family, am even surprise that there are still truthful and powerful people like this spell lady priestess Ifaa that brought my life back. My husband drove me out of the house because am unable to give him a child, i have gone every where i know, but no way out. it then means i was barrel. All hope was lost, i was even thinking about committing suicide.Then, three days before I was supposed to leave, and just go and harm my self, a friend sent me an e-mail saying to come - she decided she wanted me to give a try to a spell lady that is helping people online, but i told her i have tried some other and they failed but she insist i try this spell lady priestess ifaa. I contacted her through her email priestessifaa@yahoo.com, and gave in my hope and faith for the last time. my testimony now is that the spell lady save my life, marriage, and everything i have ever had which is my husband.

She cast a spell that once my husband by any means sleep with me i would get pregnant. i had to make sure i do some to get to the house and do whatever to get close to my husband and it happened. Now, am 2months pregnant and would be expecting my first child son.

This priestessifaa is a goddess. she is more than just a spell caster her spell works.


clozza 3 years ago

Im also in the same situation here im with some boy, and im also madly in love with somebody else, the person im with though he doesnt seem to care about me he would rather spend time with his friends and some girls than me but said he would be heart broken if i ever left him and the lad i like well hes not admitted he likes me, but hes always saying nice times to me everyday talks about me to his friends and even tells my bestfriend how amazingly pretty i am so yeah what am i going to do?


nikki 3 years ago

I have a similar situation, I have been dating my boyfriend for about 2 years, I am 22 years old now he is 25 in 2 months. We instantly fell for one another, it was one of those situations where we automatically an item. I fell in love with him fast and I know he loves me more than anything else in the world. He tells me all the time he couldn't do it without me and he would not survive without me. He brags about me to his friends and family whom all love me. For almost two years, I felt the same way. I never doubted that we would just be together forever and that I completely loved him. We rarely fight. If I said jump he would say “how high?”He would do anything I said and completely trusts me. We recently moved in together as well, about 4 months ago, which was a huge step for me.

So here is what happened: He got a new job in august that requires travel, sometimes very suddenly, for unknown periods of time. I was crushed the first time he left, but when he was gone I went out with friends to have fun and found that I really enjoyed my freedom. I connected with a friend from work and we spent more time together and I developed feelings for him. My friend knew I was in a relationship and expressed respect and supported my decision to be faithful to him. My boyfriend came back and I thought that my new feelings would just go away. Needless to say they haven’t, they just get worse every day. I know the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. He promises me a life of happiness and fun and even calls me Mrs.(his last name) because he wants to marry me. I have tried 100 times to break it off. I tell him we are getting too close for comfort. We back off each other for a few days then end up drawn back to one another. It’s a vicious cycle. I haven’t cheated on my boyfriend, the only physical thing that has happened between us is kissing (yes Its horrid and I hate to admit it.). I know I hurt his feelings and he feels like I’m toying with him but I am just so confused about what I want. I have tried so many times to talk myself out of it. I know I am being a fool because there is not anything wrong with my relationship. I have even met other men that I like and want to spend time with, it’s not like it’s this ONE guy. I feel like I am missing the spark that comes with new encounters. My boyfriend loves me but he doesn’t chase me anymore. We are complacent and I hate it. I resent him and don’t feel attracted to him anymore. Its so terrible because a part of me wants to only love him. I want someone to excite me and keep me on my toes. Currently I am trying to throw myself whole heartedly into my relationship with my boyfriend and trying literally everything I can think of to make it work. At the same time I don’t wanna have regrets. I don’t wanna just stay with him because I’m scared to break his heart, which is the truth. I love him so much but then why do I feel this way? What if I just stay with him and waste my 20’s away? I am terrified of regretting either decision. If I broke up with my current boyfriend, I wouldn’t start dating my co worker friend right away if at all. If I left him I would try to figure out what I need but I just can’t bring myself to do it.


EHIS 3 years ago

well done! my problems are gone My woman came back last night, i thought it's a joke she came to say good bye to me ,then i waited ,suddenly i saw preparing food,bed and hide under branket, i couldn't believe any thing i see, i decide to sleep at the gouge to see what happens next ,only see her come and slow her self on me start kissing and then i realize you are the true healer, its now 2 weeks since she came home ,but doc my sex life has gone down i don't know why , i want to come and order for that medicine. i will phone you later today! i appreciate your services, be there for us please. thanks you to obadamtemple@gmail.com,


IML 3 years ago

So here is my problem I have known this girl for over 5+ years we have never dated only talked on the phone I have never met her But I Love her deeply.Now I do currently have a girlfriend and we are arguing more than we should so I start talking to my friend more and more texting calling and than it came to the point of me telling her I LOVE HER!!!OMG I havent even told my current girlfriend that!She wants me to drop everything and move where she is!What do I do!I have loved the distant lover for years and Now she is back into my life and I have someone I am so confused!!!!


Aisla profile image

Aisla 3 years ago from Norway

IML flirting and talking on the phone is not the same as a loving close relationship. In writing you can formulate words to your own advantage and on the phone you can certainly put on your best behavior.

This all sounds so needy and you are infatuated by someone who is manipulating you to leave your girlfriend. This person is asking you to drop everything and move to her hometown without having met you, doesn't this send out warning signals to you? This is not reality and certainly not love, once she gets you wrapped around her little finger she will dump you and do the same to you too. This other person does not care about anyones feelings other than her own, she doesn't even care if your girlfriend gets hurt.

Has it ever crossed your mind that you may be arguing more because you are holding back? At this point I think you need to sit down and look at your own moral standards too.

Your girlfriend may be reaching out to you and feeling your distance, she may be scared and suspicious and you are repaying her with dishonesty and disrespect, there is little wonder you are arguing. You my friend are the cause of these arguments, waken up before it is too late. Your girlfriend deserves an apology and a reason for your behavior and you need to grow up and ask yourself why you are hanging onto your current relationship. To be honest, the way that you have behaving makes me think that you deserve to move with the distant home wrecker I am sure you will find peace in each others company , especially when you start to wonder who she is texting and flirting with!! ( and vice versa )

When you make up your mind to move your current girlfriend will be hurt by your actions and lies. But no matter what she needs to know about your infidelity and that will hurt anyway. Living a lie will never make this relationship stronger, it needs to start again to have any chance of survival. Just be glad that you do not have any kids yet because when one parent messes up it affects them too. When your current girlfriend finds out how long you have been having this emotional affair she will feel that she has been made a fool of and she will feel heartbroken at having trusted someone like you. Are you really a nice person?

You asked for opinions and this is mine I hope you find peace but right now you don't deserve it!


confusedgirl89 3 years ago

i have a problem im 23 nearly 24 ive been with my boyfriend since i was 19 so over 4 year , he is great we are both chefs and he was my first love i didnt have any serious boyfriends before him its hard to find guys like my bf we were very happy i was a bit wild when we got together partying and living it up then i got my head down and got my head down at work, i wanted to move to london to work as a chef i got a job and he said he would find one to and come with me he went for one interview didnt get it give up and never came , so after 6months alone down there i came home this is where our relationship went down hill, i got a job back home about a hour drive from my folks , and we went back to normal we have never had a hoilday together everytime i ask he has something what gets in the way its hard u know, so ive always sort of did my own thing and he does his we live together now and i want to move and explore the world as a chef and have a story u know but he doesnt he has no get up and go , i love him he is amazing and worseships me but i would have to stop my dreams and shut up and live there the rest of my life he would be happy im not i cant help it and its killing me but i dont want to hurt him, this is where the other guy comes in hes a guy i have worked with for 2year never loooked at anybody the way i look at my boyfriend and all of a sudden we where having phone calls and going out for coffee chatting about life he broke up with his gf he wasnt happy and i told him i wasnt i shouldnt of i have moved out of my bf to figure stuff out but i never seen this coming but i feel like everything happens for a reason last year i was in a dark place i wasnt happy now i feel confused but lifted i do have feelings for this guy but nothing but good friends because i dont want to hurt my bf but if we did break up i could see him in another way...


confusedboy 3 years ago

So ive been with my gf for 5 years now, i love her and don't want to hurt her, but i feel like the love i feel for her is more as a friend now. I have for the past 3 months begun to develop feelings for another girl. Its messing with my head as i'm pretty sure this other girl does not feel the same but it makes me question wether i'm truly happy with my current gf. The relationship has been on somewhat of a downward spiral the past year since she moved in with me. Previously we lived 2 hours away from each other whilst we were at University. I just don't know what i want. Wondering if anyone who has been in a similar situation has any advice.


Chronyc 2 years ago

Hi everyone....

Like all of you, Im in a very confusing situation. I am with my current fiancé for little over a year, and we have a beautiful baby boy currently 5 months old. Well just recently one of my old childhood crushes came back into my life. im 25 now and I say good 8 years has past since we seen each other. We currently work together and flirt constantly. But I am a manager and she is an employee so we have to keep it to ourselves. Let me explain my situation in the current relationship. I feel as if this co-worker gives me more joy and happy ness, caring, compastion, affection, and most of all lust more then my current relationship which there is non in it. Me and my co-worker has already told each other our feelings and they only grow stronger every day we talk. I feel more happy when im around this other person, but im not one to break hearts and tell me current baby Momma I feel out of Love with her and falling for someone else, which I cant tell anyone if me and my co-worker do get together because it could ruin both our careers. Im just in dire need of help. I feel stuck in a cage with no help.


Ellie 2 years ago

Hey!

I am pretty young and thought I was the only person in this situation but obviously not.

I feel like I have feelings for another boy but I love my boyfriend so much. It is hard for everyone but I feel like nobody is helping me? I obviously love my boyfriend more, we have been together for 8 months and been on and off but I have made horrible mistakes but he still hasn't dumped me so he obviously has very strong feelings for me. I do adore him but this other boy is funny, cool, sweet, popular ( I don't like him for that but it is a good thing ) , fit and smaller than me but I have a thing for small people ;) He has told me he has feelings for me as well as his girlfriend but he obviously loves his girlfriend to bits if he is writing her name on his hand everyday. I do think I love him, I just don't want to leave my boyfriend as I love him dearly. But, I don't know what the future holds and it is my life! I don't know what to do anymore. Do I just try and get rid of those feelings but they just wont go away!?

We cant control our feelings but if we try we can push it. I am sleeping round his house ( the other boys - not my boyfriend ) tomorrow because of his younger sister who is in the year below me and he is going to be there. Do I talk to him? I need to think this through:(

Your stories are very interesting, thanks:) xo


Shane 18 months ago

well this helped a lot thanks but I still don't know what to do Im pretty much in love with this girl but I have a gf and idk I feel wrong about having feelings for someone else


carol 7 months ago

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