Being Randy is Healthy

Sexy is a state of mind. Look deep into those eyes. It's no wonder Marilyn Monroe is still idolized for her seduction.
Sexy is a state of mind. Look deep into those eyes. It's no wonder Marilyn Monroe is still idolized for her seduction.

Why do people keep pertaining to sex as sinful? It's only natural.

So what did I miss? Sex is normal, human, and quite basic animalistic behavior if you ask me. Yes, I'm over 37 and female, and so I have a sexual peak near that of 18-year-old males. If you have any confusion, please read up on John Gray's Mars and Venus Starting Over.

Do you know what saddens me? People who feel guilty because certain religious groups have called their "urges" sinful. No. No. No. Only if you are hurting yourself, someone else, or don't practice safe sex. The guilt is an ingredient unnecessary to the mix.

But for the female gender: I would suggest holding off on intimate relationships until you are in an exclusive, committed relationship. Mostly because of our brain function. It's called oxytocin, and it's a nasty little ingredient that makes us "bond" with the person who connects with us, sexually. For men, the hormone lasts in their brains for up to 48 hours post-coitus. For women, it can last for up to two weeks. So you see why it's so dangerous for women to engage in "Friends with Benefits." So "just say 'no'" to the players who want a one-night-stand. They are getting all the benefit, while you are getting a broken heart in the works.

Don't believe me? Read more here.

Certainly, God wouldn't have given all of us this fabulously addictive hormone unless he wanted us to have sex--often. Assuming it's with the same partner. Leave the guilt at the door.... what happens behind bedroom doors stays behind bedroom doors.

I have a profile on LinkedIn that has "love coach" as one of my job descriptions. I am serious about that (in a humorous way). I don't take myself too serious, but when it comes to self-help and inspiring others, my work is serious business. I may not become rich with my writing, but I'm doing what I love. So, I guess that makes me wealthy beyond my dreams. If I can help just one person to "see the light" at the end of the tunnel, then my mission is accomplished.

Don't be afraid to let loose with your partner. No guilt, no shame. Loving each other means letting go of your inhibitions and embracing the fun of the moment. For more insight to this phenomenon, read up on my previous Hubs. The one about "Raise Your Hand if you Love Sex... and Miss It" is a must read. I still miss it. Enjoy the cosmos with your mate, for me.

What is your view on sex? Do you think it's a sin to have sex when you aren't married? How about if you are divorced and in a new relationship--are you guilty if you want to have sex with a new partner? Even if your spouse cheated on you and you had no choice in the divorce? Do you think it's wrong to date a divorced person? Do children from a single parent affect your choices when you start dating someone. Feedback is always welcome.

Thanks for reading.

When it comes to your urges, what is the worst offense you can do?

See results without voting

More by this Author


Comments 10 comments

Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago

OMG! Wonderful1..that pic is going to be banned by the morning...you did give good advice. I don't take life serious either. Enjoy your day! Thanks!


wonderful1 profile image

wonderful1 4 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks for the comment, Lord. Love you for that. And beyond the morning, too. Have a great weekend.


karthikkash profile image

karthikkash 4 years ago from India

nice article :)


THEHuG5 profile image

THEHuG5 4 years ago

I personally don't think it's wrong to have sex before marriage. I used to when I was younger but not now that I'm older I have a somewhat better grip on reality lol. Heck, some people (gays for example) aren't even allowed to get married so what then? You're right people shouldn't feel guilty about their sexual urges as long as they are "normal" by that I mean it's not OK to want to have sex with children, animals, etc...

As far as divorce goes, know who you're marrying in the first place. That's the main thing. But if 2 people just aren't happy together anymore and they've tried everything to fix it (quality time, counseling, time apart) then it's best that they split up. Especially if they have kids. As a child of parents who divorced I know that its not an environment that kids should grow up in. My parents never openly fought but they were pretty much like strangers living under the same roof. Divorce was the best thing that ever happened to my family.

In general, people just need to get more educated about sex and not sweep the subject under the rug. Voting up!


wonderful1 profile image

wonderful1 4 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks for the comment, THEHuG5. Normal is what you make it, and according to the laws of your state, I guess. I think it's a joke when I hear what some states call "illegal" as far as sexual behavior. Seriously? Do they have patrol on peoples bedrooms now to see what they are doing? That's disturbing to say the least.

My motto is "live and let live." Judge not, as God will judge who was "right" and "wrong" when we meet him (or her). I still get a kick out of people who make our animalistic urges into something raunchy. So be it. Let the perfect person cast the first stone. In that case, I guess I'm safe.


wonderful1 profile image

wonderful1 4 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks, karthikkash... sorry, but I didn't see your post before. Glad you like. :)


Poetic Fool 4 years ago

Wow! Sheila, you're beginning to worry me girl! Seriously, though this is a great piece. You keep on amazing me. I just heard someone going on about sex being sinful just this evening. It is true, as you say, that the chemicals released in the brain during sex essentially rewire the brain. And as much as we may want base animal sex, it is an intimate act and it helps form emotional and psychological bonds with our partners. This needs to be considered when thinking about quick hook-ups and our psychological health.

Still, people should just let other people live their lives and what goes on between consenting adults is their business. Kudos to you!


misterbungle profile image

misterbungle 4 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

Great stuff as usual my dear. People are allowed to do whatever they feel like doing, as long as no one gets hurt. Unfortunately some people/groups feel like they are the gatekeepers to what you may or may not do.


algarveview profile image

algarveview 4 years ago from Algarve, Portugal

Very interesting and you're completely right. Didn't know about the oxytocin, but it makes total sense. Very good! :)


wonderful1 profile image

wonderful1 4 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks, Rick-- you brought up the main ingredient I forgot to mention in the article: intimacy. You are absolutely right about people having urges just like animals, only we are lucky enough to have the capability of a deep connection. That's really what sets us apart from our hairy counter-parts. Or, don't penguins also choose a partner for life? I love talking about this subject-- but I'm guessing you could already tell?

Misterbungle: I know, right? When I hear love-making described in a negative way, I roll my eyes and think "sheesh, people, lighten up." I know there's only one person who will be "judging" me, and I'll leave it in HIS hands. Thanks for visiting and commenting!

Algarveview: Thanks for the commnent, and yes, I did some articles on female vs. male brain, and I was fascinated by the fact that women produce the "bonding hormone" more than men. It's no wonder we often mistake sex with love, and don't want to leave bad relationships. You really have to be careful to get to know the person you end up in bed with, cause it gets complicated (in your brain) after that.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working