Housewife – What do housewives do?

Background

I am 27 years turning 28 in a couple months and I got married when I was 26 going on 27. Before that, when I wasn’t in University getting both my undergrad and postgrad degrees I was working in my field of study. However, when I got married I left my really good job which involved travelling so that I could migrate with my husband due to his even better job. It was a personal decision that I made and have not regretted it ... yet! Even though that meant me moving to a new country where I don’t speak the language, not being able to work and basically being a housewife instead of following and continuing my career. Like I said... a personal choice. I married they guy I was dating for 6 years so the decision was an easy one and as a newlywed I did not want to live apart so soon in our marriage.

Okay, so now that you know the background... let me get to the meat of what I want to say. Since we moved here I basically adapted to my new life. I can’t complain. We live by the beach in a really nice town and I have everything that I could possibly want. So I’m happy and yes contented. Well I am often asked, “What do you do all day long?”, “Besides cooking, what else do you do?” and “Don’t you get bored?”

I am even asked these questions by housewives themselves from my home country. Off course if I was back home I would not be a housewife, not that I have a problem with it, but I would continue following my career. Here, I don’t have much choice. I am not learning the language like I should be so that’s adding to making it difficult to find a job. Also there’s the issue of the visa.

Source: http://laughingyaffle.typepad.com
Source: http://laughingyaffle.typepad.com

What do Housewives Do?

Okay so what do housewives do? I don’t know about other housewives but I can tell you about what I do!

There’s the obvious stuff:

1) Cooking: before getting married I never had to cook. That was done for me and so I only learnt how to make a few dishes. Then I went cold turkey into a marriage where after one month of being married we migrated where we have no family to cook and send food so I had no choice but to get my act together and start learning! Thank goodness my hubby can cook. At least we knew we would not starve. Well the first few months I spent cooking up a storm, experimenting with different dishes and taking lots of pictures of the food I made like my Paella. I was so proud of myself and my hubby's reaction to my cooking had me delighted. Thank goodness I was not failing miserably. I don't know what I would do if I discovered I had no cooking talents whatsoever $6. Maybe we might have lost weight which would not have been a bad thing but I am sure I would have gotten depressed. Off course this task was made much easier by using a gift - A recipe book "Naparima Girls' High School Cookbook" which was given to me by my mother-in-law. This saved me! I love this book. Thank goodness the recipes are simple, easy to follow, and because it's food from my home country, we don't miss home food as much! Okay so I have cooking covered... this is something that housewives do right? What next?

2) Washing Clothes: For the first few months, actually up until recently, I was washing clothes using what I refer to as the 'bucket' system. The first apartment we rented we were not allowed to have a washing machine so I had to adapt. I did this by soaking clothes overnight in buckets and washing it by hand the next day. Now I have a washing machine in our next apartment and boy oh boy I love it! So I wash clothes too...another 'houswife' chore right?

3) Cleaning: Don't all housewives do this? Well maybe not.. the lucky ones probably hire a maid. I have to admit when I first moved here on the days I really did not feel to clean I would hire a maid and my husband would laugh when he got home ... he'd be like ... what you doing so that you have to hire a maid? Well he knows me and thank goodness he loves me! But it's been a while since I afforded myself that luxury. So I clean as well.... and living by the beach means sea blast and lots and lots of dust.. trust me ... not something I love but that's the price for enjoying this lovely fresh sea breeze. Okay so there you go .. three obvious household/housewive chores - cooking, cleaning and washing! Mind you my husband helps me cook sometimes cause he really loves to cook and with a little smile and hug here and there I even get him to help me sweep and clean the porch windows. Lucky me!

Source: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/58171128/
Source: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/58171128/

Now for What else does this housewife do?

So I think I covered the obvious housewife duties there.. not on for what else this housewife does during the day while the husband is at work. And let me just say - NO I don't get bored. Maybe it's my personality or just me.. but I like my life as it is and I think I've done well adapting... I am thankful boredom does not take over because that would be very hard to deal with and I know will have my husband stressed as well!

4) Reading: When I first got here I took the opportunity to read my novels. I love, love to read and I know you don't always get the time to just immerse yourself in a good book. Well I love romance novels and suspense thrillers as well so I made sure and buy some before I came here. Well I spent many days reading and in no time I needed more books. Good luck finding an English novel in this town we are in.. It's all Portuguese. But we did visit Barra da Tijuca and got English novels in a mall there and then when that was finished I ordered online from Amazon! I really do enjoy reading and when I start a Judith McNaught novel.. well there's no stopping me! Now I don't read as much because I've discovered making money online.. but more on that later. I did however get my husband to start reading novels and he reads at night whilst I'm online. Sometimes.

5) Playing Wii: Okay so my next addiction after reading was playing Wii Sports. It is something that we get to enjoy as a couple and well it's fun and also a form of exercise.

6) Exercising & Riding my Bicycle: Okay so only at the end of last year we really started exercising. There's a lovely boardwalk outside for walking and riding bicycles and we developed a routine that we love. After my hubby comes from work we spend time exercising. Last month he bought me a bicycle and I never thought at this age I'd be riding a bike but I love it. So that's something that takes up about 2 hours of our day almost every day. Off course this includes just chilling out on a bench and watching other people walk by and ride by... human observation.. very interesting :-)

7) My online addictions: Now, as of late, this is something that takes up the majority of my time. One day whilst online I discovered GoogleAdsense and the opportunity to make money online. It spiraled from there and next thing you know I'm answering as many questions as I can on Webanswers, I'm blogging on Leandraluv...Life's Moments, and I'm writing here at Hubpages. Mind you .. these things take up a significant amount of my time, especially webanswers where I can lose track of time. But I enjoy all three sites tremendously and even though my earnings thus far are not so much I'm happy doing what I do and I will keep on trying to increase my earnings whilst doing stuff that I have fun doing! I use to write for Helium but that's a lot of time and much much less rewards than the GoogleAdsense program. Mind you, now I don't check my Facebook profile like I used to. I mean I was always on facebook and even had my friends heckling me but now I still check it but definitely not as much as I use to.

8) Email: Let me tell you, checking your email, especially the way I do - is time consuming. I know it's a bad habit I've developed but I check my email a million times a day. If you send me an email now.. give me five minutes and you'd see I'd respond. That is bad. WARNING :-) Time consuming and time wasting - bad time management! I love my gmail!

9) TESOL Course: One morning I got up and decided I felt like going to work again. Problem is I don't have a good handle on the Portuguese language as yet and so my options are very limited. So I decided to check out what I can do that's within my comfort zone. So I decided on probably teaching English in a school in this area or something. I did some research and found a great online course, chose the option with a tutor, signed up, paid and started! Simple as that. Now the hard part - doing the studies :-) TESOL is Teaching English as a Second or Other Language and the good part is that they offer the service of helping you find a teaching job almost anywhere in the world. So that's really great. Wish me luck! This housewife is going to try her best!

10) Digital Scrapbooking: This is something that I love. My favorite hubby. I won't go into detail here but you can read all about My Love for Scrapbooking and see some layouts as well. I don't get the time to do this as much anymore but if I take a really special picture and I want to spice it up I take the time to do some digital scrapbooking.

11) Painting: Recently my hubby and I bought some watercolor paints and paint brushes and decided to try our hands at being the world's next great artists! Well we are very, very far from being anything near remotely 'good' but we have fun with it. I write about it on my blog and I put up photos of what we've done so far. We only painted twice because of his work schedule but when we get more time we will have fun! It's a couple activity so I don't paint without him.. he likes to do it and well it's a little competition in there! 

http://laravelez.com/images/housewife.jpg
http://laravelez.com/images/housewife.jpg

My Point?

Okay so I know many of you out there think along the lines of .. what does someone who is a housewife do all day, especially if they don't have children? Well I don't have any kiddies as yet and I know when that time comes that's a whole different story but let me just tell you - I've experienced both ends of the coin - working and being a housewife. I've never been a working wife which is something totally different and frankly I am not sure how I'd be in that role. Working all day and coming home to cook and clean.. Yeah right.. for sure my salary will be going towards a housekeeper :-)

Okay so people, housewives or even work at home wives have many things to do and based on their interests this could be just about anything. So try not to be too judgmental! I think it's a job like any other. With many tasks to be completed at the end of the day. Just with more time to watch tv and take breaks :-) Ooh yeah I forgot to put "Watch Tv" as an activity above but I don't watch too much TV during the day, only at night with my husband. But now we got cable so ... trouble! And off course I left out the bedroom action part :-) So maybe other housewives can let me know what they think - do people always say you're lucky to be home all day and what do you do all day? Just wondering.

73 comments

Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 6 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

No comments? I'd love to hear your thoughts :-)


Marcille Labban 6 years ago

I am getting married immediately and moving to brazil.... lol

Come on lee, i say that only boring ppl get bored, it's not about exactly what you're doing, it's all about attitude.. Besides, you have time now to do things most people put off for years and don't get to do before they're old and dead. Not to mention i'd say being a housewife is pretty tough, not because of what you do or don't do, but because people who don't know tend to have a condescending attitude towards it and you don't get any recognition. Forget it, you're happy and contented and having a good time... now; when am i getting a godchild?? give me something to look forward to please, it'll be a solid decade before i can have one of my own!!


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 6 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

Hahaha okay! Come.. we have room! You just had to drop in the baby comment in there huh!!! oh gosh child! I'm sure it won't be 10 years before you make one.. let's hope NOT!


homari16 6 years ago

ok you know what you really have to be a housewife to know what she means, right now no kids which is plus so enjoy it but when you do have them get ready to do nothing but clean,cook,tryyyy to organize,change diapers,go to doctors appointments etc. and eventually you will regret it.


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 6 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

hey homari, I know... that's why I am still thinking about if I am ready to have kids just yet. I like my alone time but I know it's not all about me :-)


homari16 6 years ago

take my advice,start working and then have kids and trust me you will be able to do both just fine.A lot of people think that is easier to just stay home but is not,I had two kids and I was working,it was so easy to drop them off and pick them up but I did't know any better and no one told me how hard it was,now I have three and I just don't know how to get organized so I can get back to work cause you do loose all of that.


the brother in law 6 years ago

You are hilarious! I just had to check out if you really wrote an entire blog on what house wives do all day!! hahahahaha!

I think your point was made...absolutely!

Potential follow up topic-

How to tactfully let family down about immediately conjuring a baby post marriage!

Signed- The (would like to be soon) Uncle! .... LOL


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 6 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

Hahaha yes 'the brother in law' .. I did write an entire article (not a blog though - a hub) to get my point across!! I'll see about the next potential topic! You and Marcille! NO GOOD!


SimeyC profile image

SimeyC 6 years ago from NJ, USA

Again Nicely written! Thanks for the insight into your life....I love the 'Playing Wii' section!


suziecat7 profile image

suziecat7 6 years ago from Asheville, NC

Nice Hub - I pretty much did the same as you - left my country to live in Cyprus with my husband. I never got bored and learned a lot. Good for you.


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 6 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

Hey Suziecat thanks. See - you never got bored. That's great! Thanks for reading my hub.


Stay-at-Home Mom profile image

Stay-at-Home Mom 6 years ago from MIddle Georgia

Once you do have kids don't forget to add on to you list of housewife duties: psycologist, referee, cheerleader, and private tutor. lol


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 6 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

Stay-at-Home Mom that's very funny! I will make sure and remember that. I am nervous about having kids though. Thanks for stopping by!


Amirkhail profile image

Amirkhail 6 years ago

hi, you are so brave to write about yourself. Seldom people does like you, specially a Housewife, BRAVO


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 6 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

hey Amirkhail thanks for reading my hub. What do you mean by "I'm brave to write about myself?" Is that bad? Just wondering. Does it make me sound lame or something? :-)


cupid51 profile image

cupid51 6 years ago from INDIA

It’s not a particular job that makes a person bored or happy. It’s the attitude, whether you accept the job or not. Some people continue to do the job which they don’t like. But my opinion is if you try to accept what you have to do you will be happier. There are lots of things to do, lots of things to realize, a lots of place to visit, a lots of things to know we don’t have so much of time in our life! So do whatever you like and try to be happy with that.

Well I don’t have the right to give a lecture on this as I have no experience on the psychology of a housewife, but I see my wife doing things and I can realize what you are talking about.

Finally I can tell you that this is the nicest hub I have recently read! Thank you for sharing.


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 6 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

Cupid I understand what you are saying. It really is about your attitude towards things. You are sometimes put in a situation where you do not necessarily have a choice and the best way to get through it and be happy is to adjust your attitude. Find the loopholes.. the things that make you enjoy what you are doing. Thanks for saying that this is the nicest hub you've recently read! I appreciate that a lot :-)


cupid51 profile image

cupid51 6 years ago from INDIA

You are welcome Leandraluv! I also appreciate your Jill towards knowledge, your energetic effort to extract the maximum from this world. You would certainly be getting what you are up to- the happiness!


rehu 6 years ago

Nice to read abt u,I am also a house wife having a kid,I stay in singapore.I always wish to go back to work,i miss my career,but to take care of my daughter i have no other option other than sacrificing my career..

Good that u r njoying what ur doing,cheers to u...


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 6 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

Hey rehu thanks for your comment. Sometimes in life you are forced to make such decisions and remember you are doing this for your daughter. If you have time you can try earning money online. I started doing that with webanswers for example. You can check out my hub on that. Also there are many ways to earn with googleadsense and you can do that to keep you active - like right here if you like to write! It will give you something else to do during the day.


Ladyfairz profile image

Ladyfairz 6 years ago from Georgia, USA

Hello Lady in Brazil!!

I am reading your articles that are different (washing clothes in a bucket reminds me of washing my baby brother's diapers in the tub back in 1948 in Tennessee, USA) I would love comments from you in your 20's (my hubs are under Ladyfairz) - I am almost 70 but look like 50's everyone says...I am blessed...I will write to you, Ladyfairz in Savannah, GA, USA


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 6 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

hey ladyfairz thanks... right now I am in my home country visiting for a little while. I will spend some time online maybe on tuesday and I promise to read your articles and comment!! I love what you wrote... look like 50's! Thats wonderful :-) and I am happy you acknowledge that you are indeed blessed! I look forward to hearing from you! Sorry I took so long to respond. Only now checking my email..


Aileen 6 years ago

Hi,

I'm from Brossard, Qc and I'm really glad I got to read your article. It's really nice to see that you keep yourself busy. I too am a house wife and initially I was really bored, but now the internet keeps me busy. Also I'm 36 weeks pregnant and so doing some house chores is little more tiring for me at times. Thanks you for sharing the list of things you do during the day. I will be following most of your suggestions and definitely try to make money online as well. Take care :)

Aileen


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 6 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

Hey Aileen! I am happy you liked my hub and found it useful.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! You should take it easy with the cleaning.. and be careful of which cleaning products you use etc. If you ever need help with the online stuff feel free to contact me. You can write me a comment on my blog or even send me a message here on hubpages. Thanks for visiting!


Rachel 6 years ago

Thank you for posting this article! I recently decided to leave my job and become a housewife, and we have no children. I also cook and clean, but after putting the house into perfect clean shape within the first month of staying home, it doesn't take me long each day to maintain. I find myself spending way too much time online and am in desperate need of some ideas for occupying myself while my husband is at work. It's funny all the things you forget about when you have all the time in the world to enjoy them - the Wii, taking a bike ride, going somewhere and just observing life! You've provided me w/some great inspiration! :)


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 6 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

Hey Rachel.. Thanks! I'm happy to hear your got some ideas from my hub! Good luck and don't worry - you'd adjust and find things to do that you will love.. just be open minded and you'd be good to go!


Mother/Wife 6 years ago

I have worked since I was 17 years old, after graduation I moved in with my now husband of 12 years, somehow along the way I adopted ALL the household responsibilities, including paying the bills. We married shortly after and baby #1 came within the year. I was able to stay home for a short time and then returned back to work. New mother, full time employee, house keeper, home accountant, cook, grocery shopper, ect. The tasks were overwhelming at times. Now I have 3 children and stay home full time. Taking a full time job out of the picture has lighten my load to say the least. Now I stay home, and am a full time student and I seem to live for everyone else but myself. My husband has no clue and sometimes I think he feel jealous that I am home and he works full time. If he only knew the work that goes into keeping this house clean 24/7 with 3 kiddies running around. He gets up goes to work and comes home to no responsibility other than playing with the kids. Keeping your sanity as a stay at home mom is probably the hardest task of all. You loose so much of your identity when you leave the work place. For all those stay at home moms/housewives, I tip my hat to you! I know how hard you work!


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 6 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

Hey Mother/wife.. I know you work hard.. and with 3 kiddies .. even harder! Let your husband live in your shoes for one day - let him cook and clean and see about the kids and trust me .. he'd understand and appreciate what you do that much more!!!!

Thanks for stopping by and reading my hub and taking the time to comment! Have a great day.


Marjaana 6 years ago

Hey Leandraluv! I actually live probably on the same beach in Macae and I would like to exchange thoughts about life as an expat housewife in Macae and more... email me at marjaana_78@hotmail.com! Looking forward hearing from you...


Vicky 6 years ago

Hi, I moved to another country with my husband for his job and I have no work visa. I went to school for two years which was wonderful, but now I'm done and not quite sure what I will do. I'm glad to hear that you are a housewife and still doing okay. Maybe I will be okay too.


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 6 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

Hey Marjaana, thanks for stopping by... I am on vacation right now but will be back in Brazil soon. Will email you when I get there. You can email me at leandraluv@gmail.com if you want.

Vicky nice to have you read my hub. I am sure you will be okay too. You can look into earning money online. Check out my hub about webanswers and you can take it from there.. Don't worry I am sure you'll figure out what to do with yourself soon and don't let people's views about being a housewife and being home get to you.. you just do your thing and you'll be fine! Best of luck!


Ladyfairz 6 years ago

Discovered your article @ four in the morning.

Glad to see you are interested in LIFE - you will never be bored since you love to write and help others.

I have been remodeling 145 yr old homeplace - check it out Thanks and God bless


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 6 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

Hey Ladyfairz, nice to have you here. Okay no problem. I will check it out. Do you have a link for me to see it?


nicole17 6 years ago

Hi, me and my partner are trying for a baby, I'm 17 and he's 21 I have been with him since I was 14, we have ower arguments sometimes obv, but that seems to keep us to gether. We love each other so much, he asked me to marry him when I was 16 and I said yes, we are planing to get married soon, (just a little wedd) as we won't have the money with a baby and ower house. But we are happy with life wither its hard or not, because that's life! I'm going to be a housewife, and I want to, I never thought I would but to do evreything at home and be there looking after ower child is my dream. I know folk will think I'm crazy, at this age and that we are stupid, I have some money behind me already, and he has a good job. We aren't like most ower age, and didn't have a nice childhood as most. We don't smoke, drink or take drugs. He likes to play football and drive ower car. I like to be the carer. Is that so wrong? X


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 6 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

Hey Nicole17, Well only you will know where you are in life, your experiences, wants and desires. Congrats on your upcoming baby. Maybe you and your husband to be might want to experience your marriage together first - do things together like travel and have life experiences. You are indeed both young. What about school? I think you can get married if that is what you are sure you want to do but seriously think about having a baby just yet. Once a baby comes that's it and you will have a your plate full. Take time to smell the roses, do fun stuff and you are young.. you guys still have years to come to make lots of babies. Don't be too hasty to grow up just yet. I have been with my husband for seven + years. We dated for six years then got married and we are still enjoying each other's company before having kids. So take your time, slow down a little bit and enjoy life. Good luck!


TIKKI 6 years ago

Hi,

I like this blog. This is what all the housewifes do, still wonder saying "I am alone", lonely,boring,nothing to do.. like ME.. :(.. what the hubbys will do other than watching TV, so Its Our Part of life, How we Live. If I want a change in my life, I need to make a difference not my hubby..


ajmalasad 5 years ago

I think this is a very interesting topic.

Generating electricity without relying on the companies is another step further into freedom.

I'll definitely have a look at this!


John 5 years ago

I was talking to this lady online from Netherlands on a language learning site. I asked her what she does for a living and she says,she is a house wife. And she tells me she is single,can anyone explain how can a single lady be a house wife?


pallavi 5 years ago

hi, its nice reading abt u. am married for the last 1 year and an msc post graduated, likes to work but not possible , my in laws doesn't like it , please help me out to do some online job or work from home


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 5 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

hey pallavi - I also have an M.Sc. and in this country because I don't speak the language it's also hard to get a job in my field. I would recommend, since you have a masters degree, that you check out International Schools in your area. You might be surprised but they are always in need of teachers. You could get a good job teaching. As for online work - I would recommend you start by looking into webanswers. Its a good site to earn a little extra money online. I also have a hub about it - http://hubpages.com/money/Earn-money-online-on-Web...

Check it out in the meantime and let me know how it goes.


Amber 5 years ago

I am stay at home to, I used to work in some marketing agencies since I finished Academy and after 6 years I decided to go freelance when I got married, sometimes I have a month or two between projects, as artist I paint, read books, do yoga, cook, see friends...bad thing in all of that is that I have much time for me makes me occupied with cosmetic and hairdressing:-)when I should stick to more important thinks like my postgraduate writing and printing artwork for book.


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 5 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

Hey Amber, it sounds like you have a lovely time! I think that's great! Don't worry .. .soon enough you'd get back to your writing and printing!


crystolite profile image

crystolite 5 years ago from Houston TX

Honestly,i really appreciate the fact that you have to sacrifice some things immediately you realize the fact that your statues have changed from single to married.This one big mistakes that most ladies fall to accept that ones they a married the first thing that should be occurring to them is how to make their husbands happy before the kids that coming.thanks a lot for this hub because it is really worthy of emulation by all ladies who want to be a prospective good wife and mothers.


kimmy star 5 years ago

I've been a housewife for 11 years now, have a 5 y/o boy and a 4y/o girl. We are lucky to have helpers to do the household chores, so what I do is to attend to my kids' needs, driving them to school and to the gym for their gymnastics, tutoring them. For the longest time of being a housewife, I've been thinking of having a business of my own, and of course to somehow boost my self esteem that I'm earning my own money. But each time I tell my husband my plan, he hasn't allowed me to do it. He has been telling me to focus on our children since having a business will take much of my time and will require me not to be home most of the time.

Upon reading your article, I just realized that I still have lots of things to do rather than dwelling on the thoughts of having a business, of feeling self-pity since I'm financially dependent to my husband. It's just a matter of acceptance that this is my life now, my family is my priority. I know I can still make a difference, i still have to figure out how.


rayofhope03 profile image

rayofhope03 5 years ago from Dubai, UAE

hi there Leandra Luv ! i must say i truly admired the way you have elaborated how a housewife culd actually spend her time. Having resigned from my job and with another 2 week notice, i must admit that the decision to resign and be home to focus on my marriage and my husband was purely my decision, although my husband did want this for a while, cos i used to work in another town and we used to jus meet over the weekends.. which went on for about 2 years and yes it did take a toll on my marriage and my health...

so all in all, now cos its my decision to stay home after being a working woman for almost 6 years, the thot of not having my own money and the thot of just getting bored at home sorta creeps me out...

so today i sat down to find out what other housewives are doing around the world... cos i was sure that there are smart housewives there who really do make the most of their time at home without being a pain on their husbands...

and thats how i read your article!!

thanks a ton Leandra... you have no clue what a difference your article has done to me... i was scared and restless before reading this... and now i am at peace :D

thanks again leandra!! hugs!


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 5 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

Dear Rayofhope,

Oh I am so happy to hear that my article helped you be at ease etc. I wish you all the luck and I am sure in time you will settle in and an opportunity would arise for you that you can decide on with a clearer frame of mind. I now have a job but it's not a taxing one. I teach at at International school and it's great but I'm only doing it whilst I am living here and since I have no kids. I would say that if being a housewife would help your marriage and your health then definitely go for it! You can look online for online jobs or part time work in your community close to home. Good luck!


rayofhope03 profile image

rayofhope03 5 years ago from Dubai, UAE

Thank you Leandra for your kind words of encouragement.... right now i am jus dealing with one and only one issue... and that is ... for some reason ... i have some kind of lonliness... although im not afraid to admit that... im sorta still tryin to find a reason for that feeling... it isn't like ive never been alone before... but it sorta is hitting me now... my husband has an erratic schedule where he works nite shifts most of the time.. and if he isn't working... he is sleeping cos of the 12 hour shift he has to do... the next night...

i know its taxing on him... but he is sure used to it... for me now that i am not going to be working very soon... it jus makes me wonder... how i would be... especially at night....

anyways... i am trying to ponder upon the reason of this feeling being there... will let u know how i cope with it...

if u do have any pointers --- i wouldn't mind hearing about it...

thanks a ton again Leandra...


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 5 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

Hey Rayofhope,

I understand what you mean. My husband right now for his job also has to work every so often 12 hour night shifts but sometimes only like 3 times for the week. We make it work. What you have to do is find things you love to do. I use the time when my husband is working (like this weekend he had to go to another state from friday and is on his way home tonight) to watch my romance movies, talk to my family on skype, read my books, clean the apartment, do laundry etc. When he's away I usually look forward to him coming home so I bake stuff or make a special meal (using a cookbook of course. Since I am now working during the day I am in bed by 10pm so I can't even keep him company whilst he is working. But we make it work. I don't feel lonely...I appreciate the alone time to do my stuff cause when he's around I don't get that personal time. So try that! Pick up a hobby - I make movies on my computer and do my digital scrapbooking but mostly read and watch tv :-) Keep in touch and good luck.


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fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Leandraluv....Well, you asked the question, so here goes...(I can only answer in terms of my very own experience) As a HOUSEWIFE (even though I hate this term) I cleaned & cooked, did the laundry, ironing, flower planting, shopping and kept the checkbook balanced. I decorated, painted, took the trash out, kept in touch with family & friends, tended to the pets and sorted the mail. After baby #1....I did all of the above times 10 and fed, bathed, changed and rocked Jr....Dr. appointemnts, play-time, walk-time, and got very little sleep. After baby #2....all of the above times 20.....plus breaking up fights, taking #1 to Nursery school and picking him up, toting baby #2 along.

Searched and interviewed for a sitter and got a part-time job....for extra money and a little "sanity." Then.....yes....baby #3 and #4....It all ran together and passed like the wind...(of which I had no more of) It was WONDERFUL, exciting, fun, sometimes-not, fulfilling & educational. Would not change a minute of it nor trade it for all the riches in the world. So....give yourself some time....a baby or 2...and not a moment of "spare" time. YOU WILL NEVER ASK THIS QUESTION AGAIN. Good luck and God Bless!


crm282 5 years ago

Okay, so I haven't read all the comments. But, I enjoyed the article. I was a single mom working 2 jobs. I decided I didn't want that my entire life. Not to mention I wanted to set a better example for my son. So, I started going to college...while working 2 jobs and being a single mom. I got used to that life. Now, I have a wonderful boyfriend who has a job making more than I made with 2 jobs. I have an 11 yr old boy, and he has a 3 yr old boySo, we moved in together, and I don't work anymore.


crm282 5 years ago

Sorry! Somehow I keep ACCIDENTALLY submitting. So, I will just say I would love to chat with more new housewives. Thanks!


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 5 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

hey crm282, it's okay. I approved both comments! Nice to meet you


Iris 5 years ago

Hi Leandraluv, i have a similar story to yours. I followed a man i love, gave up my carrer, my studies, and left my family behind to come and live in the country which is new to me, with diffferent traditions, culture and all sorts. So we are married now and have a 1,6months old son. All this time i've been a housewife, with no friends or relatives around, but my husband who would mostly spend his time on the computer playing games. And i should tell you that along with being happy and trying to make the most of my free time, it is still not easy for me to adjust to a housewife style of life. I mean i do all them things you listed, washing, cleaning etc but it just feels that it is not enough. I've been working most of my adult life (im 29 now), and i do miss my working style of life, but mostly the social aspect of it. To see and chat to other people at work, go out on girlies gathering etc. With the child on board my personal interests are not a priority anymore and i do get stressed out about that sometimes and my husband... he just gets angry, because he thinks i should be a housewife for the rest of my life because we are married now and have a child and no one else but me should bring him up, which excludes an option with a nursery or a nanny to look after him while i could work. Sorry it is becoming too personal now, but my point is i find housewifing extrimely boring and i never saw myself being a housewife in a married life, until i got married. Mostly because you don't get to see or talk to other people much and it is such an important and normal need or even necessity for a healthy person to interact with the society. Anyways, looking forward to see what you could say on that and don't get me wrong please, i'm trying not to be negative just expressing my opinion and if you think you can change it, be my guest ;)


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 5 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

Hey Iris,

Thanks for the long comment. Well since writing this article, my situation changed a lot. I got a job teaching and that has kept me busy ever since. However, I still think of myself as a housewife but obviously kind of different now. I think your situation is a lot harder because of your husband's attitude. Firstly, my husband always understood me being home alone all day, no friends and family around etc and not speaking the language so I never really ventured out so he understood and even though his job is very demanding, he still tried his hardest to come home, spend time with me, talk to me throughout the day and keep me happy. Even now he does that ... almost three years later. And he likes that I am working. I think your husband's attitude is not so great and that makes it harder - first of playing video games? Um.. he has a baby! He should be trying to help you and ease you up when he gets home since you're with the baby all day - but that's just my opinion. Secondly, not wanting you to work .. um it's a different century now. Again though - I am saying these things without knowing our religious beliefs, culture, financial situation etc. So it's just my thoughts. I don't know what I can tell you to make you feel better. I'm sorry! I miss my job that I had before I came here but I adjusted and I understand I made the choice and I don't regret it. Honestly though, I don't think I could have survived the last year if I did not get this job. I would have gone crazy being home all the time etc. I think you should try making friends and hopefully things will get better. Good luck!


hohoho 4 years ago

My issue with these things house wives do is they don't fill you with pride, in the same way a career does, so you always feed inferior to the hubby


Roxanne 4 years ago

Thanks for writing this...I basically have the same issue as you (moved for my husband's job but I'm still in the U.S.)but my problem is really in this economy I am very under-employed (i.e. I work 4-5 days in my field per month, occasionally more). I've been bored out of my mind, so I appreciate the blog and comments(only boring people get bored, etc).


tim 4 years ago

can i just say having a baby is not easy but it is your choise, working is not easy to ! really all the women out there stop complaning. look at your husband and see the stress on his face i look after my sisters baby and that,s a lot easy,r than working, get a grip and if you cant stand the heat then dont open your leg,s !


Nithya 4 years ago

I always wanted to write about my life story. I guess I can just copy paste yours.... Exactly what I am dealing with right now!!! Thanks... It makes me feel nice that there is someone else going through the exact same thing!!


Anjali 4 years ago

I really don't think that being a housewife makes your feel inferior to your hubby. You have to think about it, what you do as a housewife is extremely important. You are the reason your hubby is able to do what he does. You as a housewife keep his entire life in order so that he can go out and have a career. I'm was a student last year but took a year off before starting my graduate degree. I've been a housewife for about 3 months now and I am finally starting to value what a housewife actually does. My husband and I are able to eat a lot more healthy meals because I have time to make them. My hubby and I spend our evenings and weekends together and our marriage is better than ever. I am able to keep our house a lot cleaner and that has done wonders for our stress level. I am able to make a healthy lunch for him so that he doesn't have to eat out. I am able to iron his dress clothes so that he looks sharp at his office. So you see, I'm the one keeping it all together for him, and that's why our lives are so smooth.

I will be going back to school next year but I've decided that I'm going to try my best to balance school and also do these house chores so that our life stays in order.

Lee, I really liked your blog. There is a lot more to being a housewife than just cooking and cleaning and you said it best.


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 4 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

Hey Anjali, Thank you for your lovely comment. I agree with everything you said.


Kattykally 4 years ago

Hi Leandraluv, was good to read your article. i almost immediately related to it as I was in a similar situation about a year and half ago. There is something I want to add to it ... One of my own important lessons was to find a niche for myself. When I was confined to my home, i was on a roll, i discovered myself, i did all the little things i had wanted to do, and move on. One characteristic of my situation was that i knew from the start that this was a temporary phase, so i decided to make the most of it. But at the end of it, i gained and learnt so much, that sometimes, when i am stuck in the stress of work life balance today, i miss being a housewife. I feel it has brought my whole life to perspective, what i have done, where i want to go from here, how much I can love and care and serve and enjoy. For all the housewives, i will say, dont let your hearts and minds stagnate at your situation. You are there wherever you are for a reason, let it fill your life with happiness...


Kattykally 4 years ago

Here is my personal blog on the eighteen month experience, to date it remains one of the best times in my life...

http://kattykally.blogspot.co.uk/2010/10/my-shetla...


emily rodrigez 4 years ago

never give up and if you want to have a kid go on your life mit change a bit but the world wont make a change or will never be the same only because you have a child so go for it because i am a housewive.


Hasini 4 years ago

Hi Leandraluv,

Nice to see your article, as a girl of 24 yr old I would like to ask you few questions, please help me out.

As a girl from a traditionally family I had to take a big decision of marrying a person whom I don't really know. Everyday its so different as and when we come to know about each other.

When he gets angry I just feel like running away some where and leading a happy, free bird life.

But can't really do that as it's all done, I am engaged to him.

I am banned from going to Job, going to dance class .

Don't know whether I can really be happy without all of these as they are my passion.

Should a girl really scarifies her passion and all her dreams after marriage?

Is it like she just has to take care of her husband's family?


Marina F. 4 years ago

I think it's a waste of life to spend it on such a trivial things as cooking and cleaning. Especially today when we are surrounded with all that machines and exciting opportunities outside house :D


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 4 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

Hey Hasini,

I am really sorry to hear about your situation. I am not sure how to give you advice. I am an Indian girl but not from India and in my country we are not subjected to the same customs. Some women are - but not me. Thankfully. I am free to work and do as I please... like every woman should be. In my personal opinion, I don't think anyone should have to go through such self sacrifice for another person, but please keep in mind - I did not grow up with certain cultures and beliefs. So things are different. I would recommend you speak to someone in your country, with your culture and background who can better advise you on how to proceed. Good luck!


Leandraluv profile image

Leandraluv 4 years ago from Macae, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Author

I agree...but it's nice to do a little cooking now and then.. cleaning on the other hand is never nice! :-)


Meleah 4 years ago

Thanks for this hub. Really needed to read it. I'm in a similar situation (newly married, immediately moved to a foreign country). It's difficult to find work, and I have a hard time finding ways to fill my day and still feel productive and important. You list some good ideas.


jackie 4 years ago

i love it!


mary 4 years ago

Hi,

Im mary.I worked 2 years in tamilnadu.After my marriage i resigned my job and moved to singapore with my husband,Now its so hard to find job in singapore..I realy felt very bore without any job...how to find job in singapore??Did u have any ideas relating jobs then plz tel me


Nana 4 years ago

hey, i really like u post! Im also a Housewife in a strange country because of my Husbands job.

Instead of Wii , my husband got me xbox and i recommend it bcs u dont need remote control anymore :)

Also i would add 2 other activities, i do: Sign petitions around the worlds, mainly for animal rights and i go to the gym. This way i meet a lot of nice local girls.


Martina 3 years ago

I think people underestimate how much work housekeeping really involves. You do it all the time and it never stops. You are like a machine. Sure you get some breaks in between but doing all the cleaning, laundry, ironing, cooking, grocery shopping, errands running even decorating and painting. Plus internet research. You are a cleaner, decorator, cook, and painter all in one and should you pay for people doing this instead it would cut heavily into your salary, therefore it's a job like any other and your husband is lucky to have someone to take care of everything while he is working and then you can enjoy a quiet evening together rather then catching up on your chores working a second shift!


Victoria Austin 2 years ago

I thank God that they put this on my page because You hit the nail on the head. Thank our Lotd that our husbands can cook. When he and I first married I baked everything, and baking is my talent and always has been. He taught me how to fry and use spices except for chicken and. Chicken fingers and spaghetti- my Mom taught me how to cook them.

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